"Every once in awhile, love takes a little more work than we planned."
Rudy Franscico
"Peter, let go of me!" Erin struggled against him, "dammit, she's your kid, too! I thought they were safer with you," she snarled, pulling out of his grip. "How the Hell could you let this happen?"
Peter dropped his hold on her, "What is wrong with you?" He snapped, anger flashing in his green eyes. "Are you insane? You decked a federal agent."
"Me?" She countered, "you were supposed to protect her. "I left them with you so they would be safe. Instead, my kids became sitting ducks-"
"It's not like that-" Edwards said in a nasally tone, from the seat of his car. He leaned forward, his forehead rested awkwardly on the steering wheel, pinching his nose to stop the bleeding.
"Shut up," Erin and Peter said in unison, glaring at Edwards.
Police cruisers rolled into the driveway, interrupting Edward's response.
"What's going on here?" Sheriff's Deputy Charlie Malone got out of his car and walked onto the scene.
Erin withdrew her badge from her pocket and explained the situation, complete with showing the officer the text messages on the tablet. When she finished, Deputy Malone glanced from Erin to Edwards and back again.
"I want to press charges against her," Edwards bit out. "She broke my nose."
"Ma'am, did you hit him?"
"Yes," she nodded, adamantly. "Yes, I hit him."
"And you know I have to arrest you."
"I don't care," Erin glared at Edwards, "As long as you bring him in too."
Another car pulled up, an FBI issued SUV pulled onto the street. "Wait a minute." Cooper got out of the car, he didn't even take the time to close the driver's side door. "I want to bring him in," Agent Cooper flashed his badge and said, "Officer Malone, Edwards is a suspect and I'd like to bring him in for questioning."
"Good," Erin held out her hands allowing Malone to handcuff her.
Dave pulled into Peter's driveway, just in time to see Erin's face in the window of the police cruiser, as the car drove past him. "Sonofabitch!" He swore, she really wasn't kidding about the bail money. With his hand on the door, he paused and flashed his gaze to his hands-free system. 'HBIC' rolled across the screen. He stabbed the screen, sending the call to voicemail. His agent would wait, he had bigger things to think about than tour-dates and pandering to desperate, bored housewives. I.E, his fans.
He got out of the car, approaching Peter. He had a phone pressed to his ear. "Hang on," he stage-whispered. "I called my lawyer to get her out, but I don't know what he can do."
"You shouldn't have hit the guy." Joe, the desk sergeant said, from behind the desk, rolling his eyes.
"Castle Law," Erin shot back. "He's lucky I didn't use deadly force."
"You're lucky he didn't kill you." Dave cut in, as he stormed into the police station. He glared at Erin through the bars of the holding cell.
"I should have just shot him!" She tapped her socked foot against the concrete floor. "If I'd thought to grab my gun-"
"That's the point," Dave slid his credit card across the desk to pay her bail. "He had a weapon, you didn't."
What took you so long?" She'd given him a head's up, he knew she was going to get locked up. She expected him to meet her at the police station, instead of making her sit there.
"Traffic." Dave deadpanned, in truth, he wasn't above letting her sit there for 20 minutes. Just long enough to give him time to cool off before he saw her.
"Seriously Joe? Were the handcuffs really necessary? I paid the bail, now let her out."
The desk sergeant looked at him and shrugged, as he unlocked the cell door, with his key. "Sorry, Dave. It's protocol." The jail cell clanked open. "I put them in the front." As if putting the handcuffs in front of her was better. He turned the key in the cuffs and released her.
"Are you okay?" Dave asked, still furious.
"Did Cooper bring him in?" She deflected, head held high and stubborn as she stepped out of the holding cell in her socked feet. She rubbed her wrists slightly, now that she was relieved of the cuffs.
"Edwards is being questioned as we speak, now answer the question." He passed her the pair of sneakers she'd inadvertently left at Peter's.
"I'm fine. What about Allison?" She sat down on the bench beside the desk and pulled on her shoes. "Is she okay?"
"She didn't see anything," Dave assured her, hoping he was right. In the heat of the moment, he didn't think to ask. He certainly hoped the kid hadn't seen her mom get arrested.
"Good." She stood up, more than ready to leave the confines of the Prince William County jail.
It was dark outside by the time they walked out of the police station in silence. Dave kept his arms slung across her shoulders more to keep her in-line than out of affection as they walked across the parking lot, towards Dave's car.
"You weren't kidding about the bail money," He unlocked the Audi with the remote on his keychain and slid behind the wheel, leaving her standing beside the car.
Erin stood next to the passenger door, arms crossed. Her foot tapping frustratedly against the asphalt.
He pressed the button on the panel of his door, rolling down the passenger window, just enough to lean forward to talk to her. "Are you coming?"
"Passive aggression doesn't look good on you." She pulled the handle on the door, climbing in the car.
"You're a strong, independent woman, Erin. If you can throw up your hands and go to jail, possibly tanking our investigation, you can open your own door."
"How did I tank an investigation that you aren't authorized to work on?" She fastened her seatbelt, waiting for his rebuttal.
"Fair point," he chewed the inside of his mouth. "Cooper's risking his neck to help us, the last thing we need is for you, the victim to come under fire." He put the key in the ignition. "Just so you know, Hotch and Cooper are working on Edwards now-"
"Good, let's go over there-" she jumped at the chance to see a break in the case.
"We're going home," his jaw was tight with suppressed frustration.
"You can go home."
His phone rang through the car's surround sound before he could respond. He stabbed the touch screen with his finger. "What's up, Hotch?"
"There's a problem," Hotch said quickly. "Edwards isn't talking and he says he'll only talk to Strauss. If he doesn't talk to her, he'll invoke and we lose our shot."
"Try something else, bring in J.J. Or-" he racked his brain for a solution. "Talk out of your ass, let him think we know more than we do."
"The Reid Effect?" Hotch clarified.
"Do it." Rossi insisted, anything that would keep Erin as far from Edwards as possible. She'd created a conflict of interest, whatever she got out of Edwards, looked coerced.
"No, I'll do it," Erin interrupted him. "If he'll only talk to me then so be it."
"I don't think so."
"Dave, he's willing to spill what he knows to one person, why not let her try?"
"I'm outnumbered." Dave growled, "I guess we're on our way." He hung up the phone and turned back to Erin.
"David, I told you I'm fine." He wasn't pulling her away from the investigation now. Not when they finally had a viable lead.
"You're lucky Edwards didn't kill you," He bit out, his hands clenched in a white knuckled grip against the steering wheel. "He could have shot you, you didn't even have your gun, Erin!"
"Chew me out later," she snapped. "Let's finish this so we can put a lid on this case."
"Chew you out?" He echoed, eyebrows raised. "You're damn right I'm going to chew you out. "What the hell were you thinking? You weren't just upset about Allison, you went after Edwards like that because you wanted revenge-"
"Hell yes," she said, with wide eyes. "What?" She asked, arms crossed. He threw her an incredulous look. "Did you expect me to deny it? I think the better question is, why am I the only one looking for it?" How could he take everything in stride? Nothing disturbed him, he slept, scratch that, he hibernated every night, while she tossed and turned anxiously beside him.
"There are better ways, Erin. You're an FBI section Chief-"
"David, do not tell me I should know better. You're the last person to lecture me on this." He took any opportunity he could to skirt protocol.
"Well, you should know better," he threw back. "If you're not careful someone could say you abused your position-"
"That's not likely-" she scoffed. "Anyone who actually looks into the situation will se-"
"Not likely isn't the same as impossible," he turned the wheel, directing them into a commuter parking lot. Catching a glimpse in the rearview mirror of the new security vehicles following a safe distance away.
"What are you doing? We're supposed to be-"
He threw the vehicle in 'park' and took off his seatbelt. "We're not going anywhere until we hash this out."
"Dav-"
"Don't 'David' me, Erin. You're doing that thing-" He said harshly. "You're doing that shitty thing that I can't stand, so we're going to sit here and work it out."
"What thing?" She snapped, unbuckling her seatbelt, she tossed the buckle behind her and shifted to the side, just enough to face him. Even in the shadows of the streetlights, she knew he was angry. His jaw twitched as he chewed on the corner of his mouth, like he was trying to come up with something to say. "What am I doing wrong?"
"You're deflecting-you're blaming all of your issues on someone else-"
She held up one hand, "That's not true."
"I'm calling bullshit." He said harshly. Calling her on the carpet wasn't on his agenda, but it had to be done. "Lately, everything is someone else's fault. You're not sleeping because of Blake, you don't eat because of Curtis, next you're going to tell me it was Allison's fault that you slugged Edwards."
"Allison had nothing to do with that," she said, forcing her voice not to shake. "Edwards was wrong and he had it coming. Be mad at me, but leave Allison out of this."
"Maybe he did need his face rearranged but the police could have handled him."
"What was I supposed to do, David? Just ignore what he was saying to her? Did you expect me to call the cops and then sit by the wayside?"
"Of course not, but I expected you to use your head and think things through, before you sucker punched him."
"That would be pre-meditation-" she fumed.
"If you had thought it through, you wouldn't have punched him. Edwards is on the rolls as a volunteer firefighter and you broke his nose while he was on FBI assignment. If convicted, that's a bare-minimum sentence of six months in jail, tacked onto a twenty-thousand dollar fine." He flicked his gaze from her abdomen and back to her face suggestively. "I don't know, but from what Dr. Leigh said, we don't have six months, much less five years for you to sit in jail. Carlo needs his mother. I know you were pissed and you had an obligation to go full-mama-bear on Edwards, but the police could handle the situation with Allison, you're all my baby has right now." He wasn't about to twist the knife, but he never thought she would be so selfish. "I don't understand why you didn't realize that."
"Shit," she bit out, "David, I'm sorry. I didn't think- I didn't even consider-" The possibility of going to jail and giving birth there, was the last thing on her mind. She couldn't come up with an excuse this time."You know I wouldn't put him in harm's way, on purpose."
"It doesn't matter now." He took a breath and released it."Tell me something first." Genuine compassion shinned in his dark eyes as he drank in her appearance. She seemed tired and a little worn down, new lines showed around her eyes. "Have I not told you how much you impress me? Did I let you forget that I'm proud of you? You're beating your addiction every single day. Every time you don't pick up the booze, you're winning; but right now, you're acting like an addict jonesing for her next fix."
She gasped slightly, her body froze in place against the leather seat. The words hit their mark, he'd always known the right things to say, but she never expected him to throw her addiction in her face. "How am I supposed to act? Is there a textbook on our current circumstances that I forgot to read?" She was coping the best she could. Or, the best she knew how. "Tell me what you want from me and I'll do it."
"I want you to take some responsibility for yourself."
"I don't know what you're talking about."
"Please, Erin," he begged, "you're better than that." She went to rehab, group therapy, followed the ten steps in A.A. She worked her ass off to get sober. "The main purpose of A.A. is personal accountability. You have all the tools you need to get a handle on yourself."
"I don't need A.A. anymore," she argued with him, he had no room to lecture her. "David, just tell me what this is about."
"I'm just afraid that if we keep going on like this," he blew out another breath. His tone turned husky with emotion. "Erin, I'm going to lose you. Maybe not physically, but if this keeps on,you're going to shut yourself off and pretty soon you'll disappear right in front of me." The version of her that he fell for, would be replaced with someone he didn't recognize. Someone reckless and self-centered, he couldn't allow that to happen.
"What?" Her eyes widened, "David, I'm fine," she insisted. "I'm healthier than I've ever been." That much was true, she'd lost weight, she was sober. For the first time in her life, she felt good. For the most part, a little sleep would be nice.
"You're not drinking," he nodded in acknowledgement. "But you're sure as hell addicted to being miserable." He kept his eyes focused on the windshield in front of him, hurting her wasn't his intention. Blinking quickly, he turned back to face her. "I don't say that to hurt you. I just can't stand to see you shut down."
"I don't know what you expect-" For a minute, she was a deer caught in the headlights. "I'm trying." She was. Exercise helped her feel less stressed, but it wasn't sustainable. She knew it, but that didn't mean she wouldn't force it to become a long term solution.
"Listen, Babe, I know things are hard, you're scared, you don't know who to trust. I get all of that, but at some point you have to give yourself a little room to be happy in the moment." She was allowing Blake and Curtis to take everything from them; she was so focused on the case and her own fears and paranoia that nothing else seemed to matter. "You couldn't even visit with your daughter without-"
"That's not what happened," she kept her tone flat. "David, you know that's not what happened." She swiped her hand across her forehead, "I'm not crazy," she snapped, suddenly she'd transformed from a deer caught in the headlights, to something feral. Tears swam in her eyes but she was determined not to let them fall. "David, I didn't imagine those text messages. Don't talk to me like I'm crazy!"
"You're not crazy," he reached for her hand and squeezed it. "I never said that…"
"You didn't," she took a shaky breath, "You didn't have to."
"You're stressed and you're not giving yourself any leeway." He was harsh and annoyed, "just look at last night, you didn't even want me to read to Carlo. Even after you asked me to try and bond with him, you gave me an excuse for why I couldn't."
"It was late-" She bristled, knowing he was right, on some level. "Neither of us had slept, I didn't want to pressure you…"
"Bella, we were both wide awake. You know me well enough to know that I don't do anything I don't want to do."
"Right," she nodded, releasing a breath. "I knew that, I just…" she didn't have an answer. "You're right, I asked you to do something and balked when you tried doing it."
"We need to find a better way for you to manage your stress levels." The next time she snapped off, he might not be able to fix the problem with an extra $500 and a phone call. "Craig Edwards had no right to have any secretive contact with your kids. His job was to protect the house and he failed. I'm not disputing that, but you had control of your behaviour. You can control how you react. You chose to confront him, damned the consequences. You weren't thinking about how your daughter would feel, watching you lash out like that."
"You said she didn't see anything," Erin said quickly.
"I hope she didn't, but I wasn't there. I called my attorney and he pleaded your case with the D.A. The state isn't going to press charges."
"Okay," she sighed, and sank back in the leather seat. "That's good."
"We got lucky." He lifted her hand to his lips and kissed her knuckles, before leaning back in his own seat. He flicked the key in the ignition and pressed a button on the panel of his door. The sunroof slid open, mechanically. Soft music played on the radio, Barry Manilow's 'Mandy,' floated through the speakers. He didn't let go of her hand. They sat there, together in the dark, in a commuter parking lot. That parking lot inadvertently became a sanctuary.
He stared out the sunroof at the patch of sky floating above them. The Big Dipper was visible, maybe that was his sign.
"What is it?" Erin asked, "you look like you're trying not to laugh."
"Nothing," he denied, the side of his mouth pulled in amusement. He waited a beat, for the song to fade out. "Hey Slugger."
"Huh? What?" She flashed him a blank look. "Who are you talking to?"
"You couldn't honestly think I was going to let you live this down?" Mirth shinned in his eyes, "but that's not even the funny part."
"Okay, tell me," she insisted.
"You won't think it's funny." He warned, half joking.
"Tell me anyway."
"Tesoro, you know I love you." He needed to soften the blow, what was hilarious to him could be devastating to her.
"But?" She urged. "Just tell me."
"Honey, I don't know if you know this, but you named our son after cheap wine."
"No…" she shook her head in the negative, her long hair splayed against the black leather seats. "No, that's not possible. His name is Carlo, the italian variation of Charles, after my dad." She explained. "I didn't name him Jack, Jim, Robert or Jamison-" tears rolled silently down her cheeks at the thought. Her addiction destroyed everything good in her life, this baby was her fresh start. She would have never glorified her addiction that way. "No, I wouldn't have-" she racked her brain trying to understand what he was talking about. "David, you know that's not true."
"It is true, Babe." He said, without heat.
Dave stared at her, waiting for her to make the connection. When he didn't respond, she realized he was serious.
"Shit! David," Her eyes widened, her cheeks reddened with embarrassment. "Did I really?"
He nodded, still half smiling, He picked up his phone and googled it. "A bottle of Carlo Rossi goes for around $10 a bottle."
She gave a watery laugh, "I guess I did, oh well. By the time he starts Kindergarten, there will be a new brand of Two-Buck Chuck. I just thought...I didn't put the two together."
"It's alright, Beautiful. You're acknowledging his Italian heritage and your father. There's nothing wrong with that. " He assured her, "besides, you're not a big wine drinker." He reached into his jacket pocket and passed her a handkerchief. "With our line of work it's impossible to find a name that doesn't have a negative connotation."
"I never even asked you if you liked it," she felt a little guilty, but not enough to change her mind.
"Carlo's growing on me," he said proudly. Then he turned up the radio before opening his door and got out of the car. He opened her door, and helped her from the car. "C'mere." Barry Manilow's 'Looks Like We Made It.' Played just loud enough to be heard from beside the car, with the sunroof open.
He held her close, her head rested against his shoulder. They listened to the song. His breathing lowered to match hers, for a few fleeting minutes, they were in-sync as they swayed to the music.
For the last 20 years, they played some kind of role in each other's lives. They went from friends, to lovers, to rivals and back to friends. Now, they were Carlo's parents. It couldn't get any better or more complicated than that. Even their hatred for each other wasn't really hatred. It was pride and hurt feelings, combined with the inability to face the hard conversations. Even then, she still made it a point to ask him about his mother; and if her car ran out of gas, (That only happened twice) He beat AAA, to her location. As the song faded, Dave kissed her against the temple, breathing in the scent of her shampoo. "What do you think?" He asked, against her hair.
"I think we need to make these conversations a habit."
"Hmm," he hummed in agreement.
She opened her mouth to tell him that they needed to get to the office.
As if on cue, Barry Manilow was interrupted by the shrill ring of Dave's phone in the bluetooth speakers.
"Damn," he jogged around to his side, while she climbed in. "Duty calls." He slid into his seat and started the car.
"Dave, I don't think you should go in there." Hotch gestured to the one-way mirror as they watched Edwards. He was cuffed to a steel table, the local police found an outstanding warrant and were using it to hold him.
"So, you think you can break him?" Dave asked quickly. "I don't think scaring the crap out of him right out of the gate, is the way to go-"
"He knows too much about you," Hotch's gaze flicked between Rossi and Strauss. "Both of you-"
"Then, it's an even playing field," Erin cut in.
"You want to go in there?" Hotch's expression remained neutral but his tone was surprised.
Erin nodded eagerly. "If that's what it takes-"
"I think he's screwing with you," Morgan interjected. "He wants you to think you're special, while he wastes our time with him instead of tracking down his connections-"
"Then, let me talk to him," Erin insisted. "I'll work on him, while you find out who he's connected to-"
"We're a package deal-" Dave said quickly. "Let me go in there and rattle him."
"Good Cop, Bad Cop?" She asked, nodding towards the window, watching Edwards, he tapped his foot on the concrete floor, shaking the steel table he was cuffed to; the poster child for anxiety.
"As I recall," Dave said suggestively, grinning slightly. "We're pretty good at it." He gripped the doorknob and turned it.
"I said I'd only talk to her," Edwards bit out, through clenched teeth. He radiated hostility, even cuffed to the table. "I want to talk to the one who broke my nose."
"She's on her way." Rossi said in a genial manner as he strolled easily into the interrogation room. "Anything you say to her, you can say to me, too." Dave pulled up a chair, purposefully grinding the metal against the concrete floor. Anything to rattle Edwards and knock him off his game. "What's your issue with her, anyway?" Dave sat down in the chair, facing Edwards.
"I could ask you the same thing." Edwards looked Rossi up and down, "You dropped her off with the ex. Is there trouble in paradise?"
"Well," Dave shrugged, he had to give a little to get a little. "Nothing's perfect. I'm sorry about your face-" he withdrew a handkerchief from his pocket and passed it to Edwards. "That had to hurt."
"She's got one hell of a right hook," Edwards complained, dropping his head low enough to wipe the dried blood off his face.
"Women," Rossi commiserated, shaking his head. "She could have handled that a lot better. It's not like you tried to get the girl to leave with you-those texts were just words-" Dave was laying it on thick, even as his gut washed with acid. He felt dirty, trying to justify Edward's actions, not even 100 showers would make him feel clean again. "I saw them," he lied as smooth as honey. "They were pretty innocuous...she overreacted."
"When is she going to be here?" Edwards flared, jerking against his cuffs.
"She broke your nose, why are you in such a hurry to share airspace with her? If I were you, I'd steer clear-"
"I need to tell her that I knew she was there. I knew she would see the texts and come out to confront me-I didn't mean any of the things I said. I have a daughter-"
"Why did you do it?"
"I can't tell you that-" Edward's bit out, hostility rolled off him in waves. He shook his head anxiously. "No way! There's no way I can tell you that."
"We can protect your daughter-" Rossi offered, but he was cut off.
"No way in Hell," Strauss let the steel door slam closed behind her. She shot a hard glare at Rossi. "What's the difference between his kid and mine, Rossi? He was supposed to be protecting Allison," She turned to Edwards and said, "You better have a damn good reason for the things you said-"
"Where is your daughter now?" Rossi asked, still calm and placating. Edwards went from hostile and aggressive to desperate at the mention of his daughter.
"She's at a boarding school, here in Virginia-"
"This is not good, Hotch." Morgan said, watching the interrogation from the window. "She's going to lose it-"
"She's fine," Hotch clipped, keeping a watchful eye on Rossi and Strauss. She stalked around the room like a caged lion, waiting for its meal. Edwards was looking more and more like Prime Rib, as the conversation went on.
"This is an act," Hotch said, "But there's always some truth to this kind of interrogation."
"Her 'Bad Cop' is on point," Morgan acknowledged, "but who's going to clean up the mess when she explodes?"
"I'm asking you, again, what's the difference between your daughter and mine?" Erin asked, venom dripped off her tongue. "Your daughter is safe at school, mine had a predator stationed outside her house." Her mind flashed back to the inside of the unmarked cruiser parked in front of Peter's house. Every car came equipped with binoculars, "What were you doing?" Her fists clenched at her sides, blood rushed through her ears. Heat spread down her face, the fury kept coming. Waves of anger and hostility radiated off of her, she was practically vibrating with rage.
She should leave, she should turn around and leave before she blew the entire investigation. The steel table clambered when she slapped her palms against it. "Did you park your car in front of her room? Did you peek in her window?" Erin raged, her face was bright red, the vein in her forehead pulsated uncontrollably. "How long were you watching her?"
"We have to get her out of there!" Hotch demanded, "he's in cuffs, if it keeps going like this, she'll kill him."
"I told you this was a bad idea!" Morgan said, on his heels. "I don't know that Rossi could stop her."
"He's next," Hotch warned, with his hand on the door, poised to bust in.
"It wasn't like that!" Edwards snapped, "I'm not a creep-I would never have said those things to a kid. My daughter's name is Lilly, and she's 8 years old." Edwards continued, "and I don't want guys like me protecting her-"
"So you admit it?" Erin's eyebrows rose quickly.
"I'm trying to help you, here." Rossi said, "but you're in this up to your ears, you went after an FBI Section Chief's daughter, that's a bad idea no matter how you slice it."
"He's right." Erin continued to pace the length of the interrogation room. "I can get your daughter protection...I'll protect her from you, first and foremost. No family court judge would dream of letting you near another child after they read those texts."
"No! I swear it's not what it looks like-"
"Bullshit," Strauss swore.
Dave shook his head, "I'm telling you, coming clean is your only option here."
"Wait-" Hotch stalled, with his hand on the doorknob. "Give them a minute." They had Edwards right where they wanted him, stopping the conversation would put them back on square one. "Let's keep watching,"
"If she freaks out again-" Morgan warned.
"She won't." Hotch nodded towards the window, "She's got him by the shorthair now, she won't blow it."
"I did what I had to do to get a reaction out of you and you'd bring me here. If I walked up to you and asked for a conversation, I'd be sunk."
"By who?" Dave asked softly, almost paternally. "Who has you over a barrel? Who would force you to compromise your morals?"
"I can't name names," Edwards bit out, he was desperate for relief. It was so close, all he had to say was a name, for his suffering to end. He wouldn't have to do anything for Blake again, he could take the bag of drugs and dump them down the toilet, never have to see them again. Then, he thought about Lilly, she was just a kid...Blake knew where she was. Lilly was his Achlies heel, he'd do anything to protect her. He took a breath and released it, "Look, I can't name, names, but if you protect Lilly, I'll tell you everything I know."
"What's in the cocktail?" Erin dragged a chair away from the table and sat down. Suddenly, she was all business, she'd put her anger aside."You can start there."
"A little bit of everything…" Edwards answered. "I don't know the recipe-"
"But you know something," Dave said. "Someone told you about what you're holding-"
"Make the call," Edwards nodded towards her. "I'm not telling you anything else until I know Lilly's protected."
Strauss glanced at Rossi, their eyes met across the table. Protecting Edwards' daughter was the only way to crack him.
"If you're bullshitting us-" Dave started- "I'll make sure you never see her again-"
"You'll only have your memories-" Strauss continued his train of thought. "You'll be on the registry-" Rossi stated.
"I hope you don't like libraries, Halloween and school districts," she said easily.
Dave nodded, "Good luck trying to get a date with that kind of record-"
Strauss looked at Dave, completely ignoring Edwards, as if they were casually chatting on the front porch, she said; "Forget dating, prison is a possibility. A federal agent who came on to a child." She shrugged casually. "He'll be dead in the first 24 hours."
"Eh," Dave shrugged, addressing Edwards, who's eyes were as wide as dinner plates, his pulse jumped in his neck.
"She's right," Dave said, "but I've heard Solitary Confinement isn't so bad."
"I'm not lying!" Edwards blurted out. "I swear, now make the call, so I can tell you!"
Strauss pulled away from the table. "I'll be right back."
"No!" Edwards raised his hand, but the cuffs stalled him. "Call right now, let me watch. I don't want guys like me, either. I want the good ones-the ones you hired."
"Fine," Rossi withdrew his notepad and pen from his jacket pocket. "Write down what you know-"
"A legal statement?" Edwards clarified.
"That and a list. I want the ingredients for your concoction." He said, sliding the pad across the table. "And the address to your daughter's school."
Edwards nodded and picked up the pen. "Here," he passed Rossi a piece of paper, but he didn't take it. "This is her school-"
"Alright," Erin took the paper and pulled out her phone.
"They wanted me to play both sides," Edwards said. "They don't tell me a lot, but-"
"They?" Strauss asked, arching her brow. She knew Blake wasn't working alone, but having it confirmed sent her heart to her throat. "Who are you working for?"
"Send someone to my car," he scribbled another address on the paper and slid it across the table. "Tell them to look inside the gas tank, there's a bag taped to the edge. "Have that taken, here." He circled an address on the paper. "They'll be able to tell you what's in it."
"That went better than I thought," Erin said, sliding into Dave's car. "If nothing else, we'll know what we were dosed with."
"I still don't like this," Dave stuck his key in the ignition. "Who's to say he's not playing us, wasting our time-"
"If that's what you think, then why did you go along with it?" Erin tugged on her seatbelt. "You didn't have to-"
"I didn't have to do what?" Dave countered, "back you up?"
"You've never failed to call me out, when you thought I was wrong. You don't have to agree with me, but I had to take that chance." It was the only opening they had and if she was wrong and Edwards was playing them, it didn't matter. "Don't partner with me if you don't believe in what I'm doing and just so we're clear, Edwards wanted to talk to me. I didn't need you in there-"
"Frankly, I enjoyed it." Dave maneuvered the vehicle out of the garage, "I'm sorry, about Allison-you know I didn't mean any of it. I was just working on him-"
"Of course I know that," Erin leaned back in the seat, staring out the window. "I sent them away from me, so they would be protected."
"They are protected," Dave kept his eyes on the windshield. "They have 24/7 security-" Even as he said it, he knew that wasn't comforting, considering where they'd just come from.
"Here's what I don't understand," she turned sharply from the window. "Why am I the only person, the only parent," she amended, "pissed off about this? You're angry with me for punching Edwards, but I want to know why it had to be me. Peter could have, hell, David, I expected you to be-"
"What?" He pressed, turning the car onto the freeway. "What did you expect from me?"
"I expected that we would be on the same side and we weren't." She wanted him to be as pissed off as she was, in her mind, he was supposed to be the one throwing the punch and protecting her children. "You're not upset that I punched Edwards, you're upset because I'm pregnant."
"With my son-" he added, "you're the only person who can protect him right now."
"And I have three other children to think about-"
"I know that." He knew her kids, he liked them, but they had a father. They didn't need him.
"I can't do this tonight," she threw her hands up in frustration. I need you to drive me home, scratch that, I need to go get them," she said quickly. "I need to be with my kids and I can't," she shook her head rapidly. Suddenly, she knew she had to make a choice. David couldn't accept her children the way she wanted him to, she wouldn't force it; and choosing wasn't an option. "I can't ask you to be responsible for them."
"Erin?" She caught him off guard, "I thought we were good-we can go get them, but what's going on?"
"We are good," she assured him. "I'm not upset with you." but I need to be a mother to my kids. It's becoming more and more obvious that I can't depend on Peter."
"What's stopping you?" He asked, tightening his hold on the steering wheel.
"I can't have a family with you and Carlo, and with them. We either need to come together as a unit or…"
"Or what?" He pressed, "you want to break up?"
"I don't want to break up; but my children didn't ask for this and right now, they need to take priority."
"I get it." He kept his eyes on the road, gripping the steering wheel tighter.
"I feel like I need to take a break and focus on them," she tried to explain. "I just…" she hesitated, taking a breath. "I just think that I'm acting like a woman in a relationship instead of a mother."
"You are in a relationship," he pointed out.
"I know that, but I packed half my wardrobe and brought it to your house. I practically moved in. Good mother's don't move in with their boyfriend's and leave their children."
"You didn't leave them-"
"But it feels like I did," she insisted. David had nothing to do with it, it wasn't his responsibility to protect her children, it was her's. Pushing him into a role he didn't want, would get nowhere. "I can't force you into accepting them-"
"Who said anything about forcing?" As far as he knew, they got along fine. "Your kids are great-" The weekly dinners at her house, with them, were a highlight in his week. Of course, if he had to choose between being with them and being with Erin, he'd rather be with her, but that wasn't a reflection on the kids; he just didn't know how to handle three teenagers.
"Look," he maneuvered the car into the correct lane, to drive her home. "If you need to go and be with your daughter, I'll take you. We can-"
He shook his head, there was no we in this situation; even if he wanted there to be. "I imagine Allison wouldn't feel so comfortable hanging out at my place. I'll take you home."
"No, that won't work," she shook her head. "I need to be with Allison-Peter's obviously not taking our situation seriously. I need to go get her, get my car and go home."
"Honey, I'll drop you off at Peter's if you really want me to." He didn't love the idea of dropping her off with her ex-husband, but her car was there. Who was he to stop her from picking up her daughter?
"Listen, if you need to take a step back, from me, do it; but don't leave me hanging indefinitely." Pressing the pause button on their relationship was probably a good idea. They'd jumped from the casual-hookup to a serious couple in record time, taking a breather wasn't the end of the world. "What if…" he paused to gather his thoughts, "what if we just backed up a little?"
"What do you mean?" That didn't sound like a break-up and not breaking up was a good thing.
"Just listen. My publisher scheduled my yearly book tour, the weekend after July 4th. It's local this year and I want you to come with me. Take your space, but I want an answer by then."
"How are we going to do that with Blake running rampant?"
"I guess, the same way we've done everything else. We have to be diligent and cautious, but we can't let her believe we're paralyzed in fear. I think we should go and take the security detail with us."
He paused, waiting for her reaction. When she didn't say anything, he continued, "Take your space and be with your kids, but I'd really appreciate the company."
"I'll be as big as a house by then, but," she shrugged, "I'll go, if you haven't changed your mind." Or found someone else, she added in her mind. She was effectively breaking up with him, she wouldn't expect him not to see other people.
"That's not about to happen," he said quickly. "As far as Carlo goes, we're not going far. It's a local tour this year, the furthest we would go is Philadelphia."
"Why not take it up to New Jersey while you're there?"
"Because I have 14 book signings as it is and only a week to pull it off. My agent wants me to spend more 'face time' with the people." What he failed to mention is, if he didn't, the publisher was going to pull his contract. At least, that's what the voicemail said.
"I'll let you know," she offered. As he pulled in front of Peter's house. "I'd like to go...I'd like to see you schmoozing your fans, but-"
"But what? Come on, Erin. It wouldn't hurt to get a change of pace and take a break from all of this-" He said quickly, "How often do I ask you for anything? I hate going on tour alone, when I don't have to."
She put her hand on the door handle, "I was just going to say that, your tour is awfully close to my due date," she clipped. "God knows, if anyone in this car doesn't want to be alone that week, it's me, but by all means, David. I'll go on tour with you, but I hope your agent is prepared to catch a baby while we're at it. Hell, who knows, maybe I'll pop him out in the backseat, strap him in a car seat and just keep going-" Bitter sarcasm rolled off her tongue. She was learning more and more about David Rossi, by the minute. First he showed her that he wasn't ready for her kids. She could live with that, but she thought they were making progress with Carlo.
"You know that's not what I meant, Erin," he tried to defend himself. "You know I want to be there-" truthfully, he hadn't even considered her due date. HBIC set the dates for the tour and he didn't question it. "I'm sorry," he was practically begging, "I'll work it out, I'll change the dates."
"Let me know if I need to schedule our son's birth according to your agent's itinerary."
"I don't call her the HBIC for nothing," he quipped. "I'll call her tomorrow and let you know."
"Sounds good," her hand twitched, on the door handle, but she didn't want to leave him like this. "David?" She took his hand, squeezing his fingers. "I really wish I could give you what you want." He deserved someone who could give him the time he needed. Someone who could go on tour with him at the drop of a hat, he wanted the perfect partner, she wasn't it.
"What do you mean?" He faced her, "we're doing fine, we've hit a few snags, but that's to be expected."
"Please, just listen." she exhaled heavily, her chest heaved with the effort. "I don't even know if I can be a mother to four kids-hell I couldn't even finish Carlo's Amazon order, before everything went to shit. How can I be their mother and be an adequate partner to you?"
"Everybody's fine," he tried to assure her, but she was having it.
No, it's not, David. My children aren't fine. Allison thought she had to be sick to justify calling me. That's what I've done to the children that are already here." Part of her thought about handing Carlo off to David, she couldn't take care of a newborn at this point in her life. "I can't manage this." She admitted, harshly. "I could have done it, before Curtis, but-" she clenched her hands to keep them from shaking. "I can't do it now. I can't be his mom, too."
"What are you saying?" His eyebrows flew into his hair in alarm. "Erin-" from the way she talked, someone had to go, it was either him, or their son...or both. Fear gripped him, surely she wouldn't…. "Erin you can't be serious- you named him-"
"Shut up, David! You know me better than that," she bit out, tears in her voice. She didn't want to give her son away, but there wasn't another option. "I'm just saying that, it might be better if he lived with you. I'd still be his mother, but he would be better off if you took primary custody." David could give him the one-on-one attention he deserved, while she tried to repair her relationships with her teenagers.
"What?" He snapped, blinking several times, confused and feeling like he'd been sucker punched in the solar plexus. Had he heard that right? She wanted Carlo to live with him? Without her? "Erin? What the hell is going on?"
"Obviously, it wouldn't be full-time-" she hurried to explain. "I don't think I can give all of my children what they need at the same time."
"This isn't the place to have this conversation," he bit out, watching the living room curtains flutter inside the house. "Erin, I really think you need to sleep on this." No part of him believed that she would actually hand Carlo over to him on a primary basis. "I'd move Heaven and Earth for our son, but I don't think this is something you're going to want, once he's here."
"Maybe not," she shrugged, "But it sounds like a good idea right now." At this point, she'd let him take over the pregnancy if he could. Clearly, she wasn't equipped to manage it.
"We have time to think about it," he assured her, squeezing her hand. "For now," he nodded towards the window. "It looks like someone is waiting for you."
"I know," she pulled down the visor and checked her makeup. Her eyes were a little red, but not enough to notice. She pushed the visor back up and unbuckled her seatbelt.
"Can I?" He hedged, almost afraid of the answer. "Can I kiss you before you go?" He asked, desperately trying to put them back on an even keel. His whole world was rocked in an afternoon, he needed something to set it right.
"Of course," she turned back to face him. His lips met hers in a gentle, tentative kiss, unsure if this was the last time. Automatically, her arms went around his neck, holding him to her, deepening the kiss. She was safe with him, physically and emotionally. She didn't want to lose that safe place, but she knew if she kept trying to force both sides of her life to coexist, she would lose everyone she loved. There was no doubt that losing David would hurt, but losing her relationships with her children, would destroy her. It wasn't worth it.
He pulled back, just enough to meet her eyes. "We're going to figure this out, okay?" There had to be a way to have his cake and be allowed to eat it. "I promise, we'll work it out," he brushed her hair off her forehead. "I'm not giving this up easily," he swore, with his heart in his throat. "Neither are you, not when there's so much on the line."
"I don't want to leave you, I don't want to give you full custody of our baby, but it feels like the only way-"
"It's not," he promised her. His voice was gravelly as he spoke. "You need to believe in yourself, the way I believe in you," he implored. "We just need to get your confidence up."
She nodded, "I should go, before Allison comes out here. Come to my house tomorrow, I'll make breakfast."
"Go on," he squeezed her hand again, " what are we going to eat? We gave away your food-" he teased," and I don't have any recipes for water."
"Lunch then," she'd make the effort to get groceries, for Allison at least.
"I'll be there, with bells on. Don't worry about the security guards, I talked to them, they know not to buy into Blake's flash-a-badge, B.S. they'll call us first."
"Okay...thank you for that." She opened the door and got out of the car, without another word. Not even a wave over her shoulder, to see him off.
He watched her walk into her old house, with her ex-husband and their daughter. Dave thought he knew his place and it wasn't in that driveway.
Erin rapped sharply on the door, then let herself inside. "Pete?"
"Mom!" Allison bolted from the living room, towards Erin. "Are you okay?" Tears streamed down the child's cheeks. "Mommy, I'm sorry!"
"I'm okay," Erin said softly, she held her daughter tightly. "It wasn't your fault," she pulled back just enough to look Allison in the eyes. She bent down, to her daughter's level, gripping Allison firmly by the shoulders. "None of this is your fault," she said sternly. "Don't ever think that."
"Okay." Allison pressed her face against Erin's shoulder, "I love you."
"I love you too," she rubbed her daughter's back. "Go upstairs and get your bag, while I talk to Daddy."
Allison nodded, with hope shining in her eyes."Are you staying?"
Taken aback and blinking quickly, Erin tried to come up with a response. "No, Baby…I want you to go home with me."
"Oh." Allison frowned, her chin dropped as she studied her bare feet. The pink nail polish was chipping. "Okay...uh...right." She shuffled back towards the stairs.
Erin waited until she heard Allison's door close, before going into the kitchen.
Peter turned off the facet and dried his hands with the dish towel on the counter, just as Erin walked in. "You okay?" He asked seriously, tossing the towel aside.
"Yes," she nodded, hoping he would drop the subject. "Edwards dropped the charges and the state wasn't interested," she didn't tell him that Dave took care of it.
"Well, that's a relief," he said, letting out a breath.
"You're telling me," she quipped, rolling her eyes. "I need a cigarette." She sighed and rolled her shoulders. What she really needed was a break, just a slight pause in the insanity that consumed her life.
"Are you sure about that?" He reached around to his back pocket but hesitated to withdraw the pack. "You smoked with Cas, but you know better."
"Half a cigarette," she cut him off and offered a compromise, "and you can hold the lecture."
"Half a cigarette calls for half a lecture," he pulled the pack from his pocket and flipped open the lid.
"I pick the topic."
"I get a vote," he insisted.
"Fine."
"Come on." He led them across the kitchen and opened the door that led to the garage. For some reason, all of their big, life-altering conversations happened in the doorway of the garage. They planned their divorce perched on the edge of the steps, and celebrated, when it was finalized. They made a toast with triangles of white bread, to show the kids that everything would be okay, in that garage. Over the years, the dank, cold garage with the lingering odor of motor oil and gasoline, became a lifeline for their marriage.
"Sit." He lowered himself onto the stoop and helped her down beside him, then reached behind them and pulled the door closed. "Here." He lifted his ass off the stoop long enough to get the lighter from his back pocket.
"What's your topic?" He held the cigarette between his teeth and lit it. Then took a drag and offered it to her.
"I need you," she took the cigarette, took a quick drag and paused; letting the nicotine go to her head before blowing out the smoke. "I need you to tell me that I'm still a good mother."
"Huh?" He flashed her a look, "That's a weird thing to want lectured on."
"Don't look so surprised," she took another puff; exhaling a stream of smoke from her lips. "You don't have to mean it."
"Pass that back," he gestured towards the cigarette and waited for her to hand it over. "Erin, you know I wouldn't lie about that. Your kids love you, you love them," he shrugged. "That's a main requirement."
"It's not that simple. Do you…" she paused to gather her thoughts, letting the second hand smoke wash over her. "Do you think they're okay?"
"They're good," he nodded, adamantly. "We'll all sleep better when we don't need 24/7 security, but, aside from that…." He shrugged, "really, I think they're handling it all a lot better than we've given them credit for."
"What do you mean?" She took the cigarette again and stared at her shoes, propped on the oil stained concrete steps below her.
"It turns out that they understand a lot more than we thought."
"That," she looked up, with a serious expression, "or they've been talking to my mother. If you ask her, the divorce was entirely my fault." Vera thought she would lose out on a son-in-law who indulged her insane ideas. He didn't challenge her, instead, he allowed her to tornado through their lives at the drop of a hat. Erin's father was more logical, she took after him.
"Ya know, being on her pedestal isn't what it's cracked up to be."
"That's not somewhere I want to be." She passed the cigarette back to him, it was growing smaller by the minute. Signalling their conversation was almost up. "Are you dating, at all?"
"Kinda," he flicked the cigarette, sending ash onto the concrete floor. "I met someone and...I like her, we have lunch once a week, but it's not serious. You're more committed to someone than I am."
"That's my problem," smoke wafted into her field of vision, she fanned it away with her hand. "He's a good man,"
"But?" He held out the cigarette and thought better of it.
"But you're a good man and look what happened."
"We divorced," he acknowledged, watching her press on her stomach. "That's not the end of the world. In fact, we divorced, really well."
"We didn't try to hurt each other."
"We didn't have a reason to. What does that have to do with Dave?" His voice took a hard edge. "Do you think he would try to hurt you?"
"No, no, of course not." She shook her head quickly, "that wouldn't happen. He wants the baby, he wants to try."
"Don't feel guilty trying to move on from…" he spread his arms wide metaphorically encompassing their old life. "This. Just live." He stabbed the cigarette into the concrete at their feet. "Everything else will work itself out."
"You know," she held out her hand, accepting the cigarette. "I've always hated your blaise attitude." She took a puff and exhaled.
"And you know you can't plan everything. We have three teenagers, there are way too many variables to consider to even try to write a blueprint."
She sighed, knowing he was right, on some level. "What happens with the kids? It hasn't been that long since I moved out and the divorce was final."
He shrugged offhandedly and stomped out the cigarette with the toe of his shoe. "They'll adjust and they'll be okay." He pushed to his feet, standing up and held out his hand to help her to her feet. "I promise."
"I hear you," she took his hand, letting him pull her up before he opened the door, sticking his foot on the step to go inside.
His eyes shined slightly, the corner of his mouth upturned. "Good, that's the point." Just because they weren't married anymore, didn't mean he wasn't allowed to care. "Did you eat?" He asked, opening the fridge. He pulled out a jar of strawberry jam. "There's peanut butter in that cabinet." He turned around, pointing to the proffered cabinet. "Come on, I'll make you a sandwich."
"Do you realize I didn't answer you?" She asked, pulling out the bread, peanut butter and honey.
"I think I know the answer." He laid the jam on the counter and started assembling their sandwiches. "You're here," he shrugged. "Dave dropped you off. He wouldn't drop you off somewhere after dinner, he would have taken you back to his place and brought you back in the morning."
"I told him I wanted to be with Allison…"
"Was he okay with that?" Pete shifted awkwardly, maybe this wasn't a conversation he should be having with his ex-wife. Either way, he wanted to know.
"He was fine," she flicked her attention towards the staircase, 'come on, Allison.' "He's coming by for lunch tomorrow."
"That's good," he pulled a paper towel off the roll beside him and wiped down the jar of peanut butter to keep his hands busy. "With," he cleared his throat, gesturing towards her body. "With your situation, he probably should be around."
"It's more than that… think…" She tried to explain it. "Sometimes I think it's me that he wants but then I think about him with the kids and I'm not sure."
"Have you asked him?"
She stalled, "well-"
"I don't mean hinting around either," Peter continued. "I mean, have you asked him directly if he wants to be in your life, with our kids?"
"Well, I-" she thought about it and she assumed he knew, but she couldn't remember actually having the conversation. "No...Pete, I don't think I have."
"Then do it," he insisted, "you've never had a problem being direct. Just ask him what role he wants to play in their lives. If you don't like the answer, then you can decide what to do. Carpe Diem, Baby." He grinned, indulgently, he loved feeling like the smartest person in the room. "We can't live in fear, you've got his kid. Like it or not, you're stuck with both of us."
"You make a good point," she nodded, "screw that, you're exactly right. I deserve to know what kind of life he expects us to have."
"Damn right, you do." He passed her a sandwich on a paper plate. "Now, eat. You look hungry."
"I'm really not," she insisted, but pulled the plate closer.
"I don't think I want Rossi on my ass if he thinks I let you starve," Pete joked, but he was half-serious. She was fit now, but it was obvious to him that the baby was taking what it needed and didn't leave her much else.
"He'll be alright," she shrugged. "It's the boy," she complained. "I'm exhausted all the time, my appetite has never been high, but it's at an all-time low, now. I felt so much better when I was pregnant with the girls."
"It's all the extra testosterone," Pete shrugged, "If I remember right, you were like this with Paul, too."
"Geeze," she shook her head. "Don't remind me." She'd lost 8lbs in the second trimester but at least then, she slept like the dead. She couldn't say the same for this pregnancy.
Her eyes flicked towards the staircase, her daughter was taking her sweet time coming down. The longer she waited, the more time she had with Peter. Peter liked to talk and she'd already said too much.
"Are you okay?"
"Fine," she dropped her hand from her abdomen. "If the foot in my ribs is any indication, I'd say Carlo isn't a fan of my method of stress relief."
"Can't say I blame him," Peter took a bite from his sandwich. Smoking really didn't suit her, she picked up the tendency, because it wasn't really a habit, from him and her mother. It was a coping mechanism at best, but he had his doubts that it actually helped.
She dropped one shoulder, partly despondent, partly sarcastic. "Mommy's an asshole." She picked up her own sandwich and took a bite.
Pete shoved his plate aside towards the edge of the counter. "You're doing fine. The kids will be fine and you deserve to be happy. I'd say, Mommy's trying."
"Not very hard," she admitted, pressing on her side, trying to coax the foot out of her rib cage.
"What do you mean?" He turned towards the refrigerator and brought back a half-gallon of chocolate milk.
"There are things I could do to manage, but they're tedious-" she had better things to do than write in a journal and read self-help books.
"Like what?" Pete poured milk into a glass and sat it in front of her.
"Doesn't matter, because I'm not going to do it." She took a sip of the milk and sat the glass down. "I would," she clarified, before he could protest."But in our current situation, I have bigger things to think about instead of journaling and identifying my triggers."
"No, you don't." He put the cap on the milk and put it away. "Hear me out on this," he insisted, before she could argue. "Your team is working the investigation, while you're hiding out. The only thing you have to do, is think. You can choose to make yourself crazy thinking about the case, or you can keep yourself from going off the deep end."
"I just," she huffed slightly, uncomfortable and feeling like she was under a microscope. "I don't have the energy for self-exploration."
"I think," he nodded slightly towards the refrigerator, " I have a bag of peas in the freezer, if you want to try to get him to shift-"
"No, no," she shook her head rapidly. "Thanks, but, I'm okay." That was too much and too intimate to try with her ex-husband. She walked to the staircase and yelled, "Allison!" She missed Rossi already.