A/N I'm sorry something came up last week and has kept me so busy that I only had the opportunity to write a few days ago. Okay so, this chapter is inspired by the song 'Way Back into Love' from the movie Music Lyric, but I prefer to hear the acoustic cover by Sabrina. And for those of you who are suspicious about Anna and Elsa's father, you'll find out about it in the next three or four chapters. Anyway, thank you so much and enjoy!
Iduna looked at Elsa in surprise and for a moment the two of them stared at each other without a word. She then automatically let go of Elsa's hand and hurriedly wiped her tears away
"I'm so sorry. I didn't mean to wake you." Said Iduna, unable to look at her daughter any longer. She felt ashamed, she felt guilty and she was angry with herself. She didn't know what to say.
She kept trying to clean her cheeks from the remaining tears even though she didn't have to do it anymore. Until all of a sudden, she felt Elsa's grip on her wrist which was surprisingly strong.
"Would you please stop saying sorry and hug me instead? I missed you, Mom." Said Elsa, with a smile on her face even though the tears in her eyes threatened to pour out.
Iduna eyes widened let out a silent gasp. The fact that Elsa called her 'Mom' for the second time, made her chest want to explode from the overwhelming joy. The first one, she didn't hear it so clearly that she thought she was hallucinating. Her heart felt warm and made her eyes, which had been dry from tears, now flooded with tears again. Her lips quivered with laughter and sobs scrambling for a way out.
She could not take it anymore and immediately stood up and then bent down to hug her daughter very tightly but carefully because she did not want to accidentally squeez her wound. She buried her face between the pillow and Elsa's head, and burst into tears.
While Elsa, she closed her eyes as soon as her mother hugged her. She had hugged Iduna before, she had felt the warmth of a mother's hug from her but now, when she knew that Iduna is her mother, the hug had a different meaning because this time, she actually hugged her mother. She not only felt a mother's hug but now she really felt her own mother's hug. And her tears finally flowed down.
"I'm so sorry. I shouldn't have pushed you away. Please forgive me." Elsa whispered on her mother's shoulder. She felt her mother nod her head vigorously the moment she finished her words and the two of them cried even harder.
The two of them just hugged, crying and no words came out of their mouths for a moment. Until finally, Iduna pulled herself out of the hug and cleaned her face from tears carelessly. She pulled the chair closer and sat down there. Her hand moved to wipe the tears on her daughter's face and gently stroked her forehead, smoothing her slightly messy hair.
"I shouldn't have left you. I have promised myself that no matter what happens I won't let you out of my sight even from afar. I promised that I will protect you from harm even if you are not by my side. And I broke my own promise. I left you, and now you're hurt like this. This is my fault."
Elsa took her mother's hand and squeezed it. "It's not your fault, Mom. Stop blaming yourself. You didn't do anything wrong. From the beginning. I was the one who got too carried away. I misunderstood what you did to me. Whatever you have done to me, it's because you love me, right?"
"Yes. I wanted you to have a better life. Better than my life. I couldn't imagine what would happen to you if I kept you with me then." Iduna said, crying again and covering her face with a hand that was not held by Elsa.
"Hey, hey, Mom." Elsa took both of her mother's hands, forcing her to stare at her. "Stop crying. Don't let your tears start to make me cry again. We should be happy now. You are here, with me." She said, smiling and wiping the tears on her mother's cheeks.
What her daughter said and did to her, made Iduna smile. She took Elsa's hand and pressed it against her cheek, leaning on it. "You're right, sweetheart. I will stop crying because I don't want to see you cry either." She kissed Elsa's hand and looked straight at her. Her gaze turned worry. "How's your feeling now? Your wound, where is it exactly? What did the doctor say?"
"Here." Elsa landed her hand just under her left breast. She winced slightly the moment her hand touched her wound. "They said my spleen was damaged. But they managed to fix it. I'll be fine, Mom." She added the last words to make her mother less worried.
Iduna smiled and her hand stroked Elsa's hair again. A gesture she had been waiting for a long time to be able to do because she only had time to do it the first month of her daughter's life. "I'm sure you'll be fine. You're strong, I knew it."
Elsa looked at her mother and she felt completely comfortable and at ease when suddenly, a thought crossed her mind.
"Mom?"
"Yes, sweetheart?"
"Stay with me. Live with me, in my house."
Iduna's hand stopped instantly. Her hands froze and her expression changed. And that didn't go unnoticed by Elsa. She knew her mother wouldn't immediately agree to live with her because more or less, she understood what kind of woman her mother was.
Even though now they had accepted each other's existence, but Elsa believed that her mother couldn't just say 'yes' right away. She would not want to be a burden to others. But Elsa stubbornly wanted her mother to live with her. Twenty five years was too long for them to be apart.
"You don't want to live with me?" Elsa drew conclusions from Iduna's silence. There was disappointment in her words.
Iduna let out a soft sigh and then she took Elsa's hand again. "It's not that I don't want to live with you, Elsa. I would love to live with you. I would really love to. But I don't want to trouble you, I don't want to burden you, I don't want people to think that I'm taking advantage of you. I don't even have a job. I'm not a good person to be present in your life, Elsa."
"I don't care what people will say, Mom. You are not a burden. You are my mother. You consider what people say, but you don't want to consider what I want?" Elsa had no intention of hiding her disappointment as her tears started to gather in her eyes. And it broke Iduna's heart.
"No, it's not like that, sweetheart-"
"Then what? This is the first time I'm asking anything from you, directly, as my mother. I just ask you to be with me, live with me. Is that too much to ask?" Elsa was already crying, though she didn't know exactly what made her cry, whether the wound that was starting to throb painfully or the fact that her mother had a hard time answering her questions.
Elsa was very happy that her mother was with her now, but when she sensed that her mother might not want to live with her, it made her feel afraid that she would lose her mother again. She didn't want that, she wanted to be stubbornly selfish just for now, she wanted her mother to fulfill all her requests.
Iduna couldn't bear to see her daughter cry and was disappointed that she did not immediately fulfill her request which actually, she gladly granted. She wouldn't lie that she would be very happy if she could live with her daughter but there was something that made her doubt. A doubt that made her feel like a thorn in the flesh. But this time she chose to put her daughter first, and she would face her doubt later.
Iduna stood up and bent down to hug Elsa again, trying to calm her down. "Shhh.. Stop crying. Calm down. I'll live with you, sweetheart. I'll live with you." She repeated her words over and over again until finally Elsa's sobs turned into hiccups.
Elsa pulled her mother closer and buried her face in the crook of her neck. "Please, don't ever leave me again. I need you." She said between hiccups.
Until finally they both calmed down, Iduna pulled away from the hug and wiped her daughter's face from the tears. She kissed Elsa's forehead and smiled. "Don't be sad. I will always by your side from now on, okay? I will never leave you, sweetheart."
Elsa imitate her mother smile and then nodded her head. She took her mother's hand. "Thank you. We have a lot to catch up."
"Yes, and we have plenty of time. Now, just focus on you getting better, okay? You've lost weight I noticed. I will cook your favourite dish everyday and I will make your cheeks plump again."
Elsa giggled at that. "Plump? Are you serious?"
"Of course I'm serious. When you were a baby, your cheeks were so adorably chubby that I could easily do this." Iduna pinched Elsa's cheek, earning a shriek from Elsa.
"Mom! It hurts." Said Elsa, rubbing her cheeks. They both laughed and for a while, they enjoyed the company they had missed. She enjoyed her mother's caress and slowly, sleepiness began to overtake her. However, something suddenly crossed her mind when she remembered something. Well, someone to be exact.
"Mom, is it true that Jack brought you here?"
"Yes. He came all the way from the city to bring me to you. He said that you chased me at the train station but failed, if only I had known." Iduna stared at Elsa's hand and smiled sadly. But then, she looked up and her smile turned into a genuine one. "He really loves you, sweetheart. I could tell."
Elsa didn't know what to say and for some reason she couldn't help but smile awkwardly. Her mother didn't know the problems that occurred between her and Jack. "Do you mind...?" She had a hard time continuing her words and wished her mother would know what she meant.
"Getting him for you?" Iduna prompted.
"... Yes?"
Honestly, Elsa didn't know what she was going to say to Jack. She had misunderstood him just as she had misunderstood her mother. But she felt that everything had to be resolved right away, there was no better time than now. She regretted what she did to Jack, after all that Jack had done to her. Just as she needed her mother, she also needed Jack in her life.
"Alright. I'll get him for you." Iduna stood up and kissed Elsa's forehead one more time.
Seeing her mother walking away towards the door, Elsa turned nervous. She felt like a teenage girl who was about to meet her crush. She didn't understand why this was happening though. She had known Jack for a long time and almost every day, they saw each other. Then why is she feeling nervous right now?
Maybe she was still under the sedative, she should remember to talk to her doctor, on her next visit. However, if she was still under the sedative, she should be sleepy, not nervous. She was really confused.
She then took a deep breath and turned to her fingers, and restlessly played with them. She realized what she did to Jack was wrong and she should apologize for it.
Yes, apologize. It was a start. She should do that.
Elsa was too busy with her fingers that she didn't notice that the door was open and Jack stared at her from the doorway. His expression was unreadable.
When she looked up, Jack took her breath away. The new understanding she had just heard from Emelia about him, made her look at him in a completely different way. She no longer thought of him as a friend, but as a man who told her he loved her and she might feel the same way. She just needed a sign.
But, there was one thing Elsa had to do first. "Are you going to keep standing there or I have to get out of bed and walk up to you to be able to hug you?" She struggled to smile, and when she did, the result was awkward. "I owe you an apology."
Jack's expression softened instantly. He closed the door and walked over to Elsa, and wasted no time hugging her tightly. She was just about to say her apologies for having misunderstood him when Jack beat her.
"I'm sorry, Elsa. Because of me, Manny hurt you." Jack's apology sounded sincere and in fact, he firmly believed that Manny hurt Elsa because his request to get Jamie out of prison he flatly refused.
Elsa understood that and it was natural for Jack to feel guilty. But not in her heart, she blamed Jack in the slightest. From the start she had been beating the drums of war with Manny at the beginning of the Iduna's case. So, if Manny really did it this time, he was the one to blame, no one else.
Elsa felt the need to reassure Jack that it wasn't his fault. Therefore, she moved her hand to cup his face, pushed him slightly from the hug and look at him closely. "It's not your fault. Whatever you're thinking right now, stop." Her heart sank to see his face flushed with tears because this was the first time she had seen him cry.
"But I should have followed you that morning right after you left. I should have tried harder to explain to you that afternoon when we met in front of that house. I should have been able to protect you. I should have-"
Jack stopped talking and his eyes widened as something shut his mouth. He was so stunned that he couldn't process what was happening until finally Elsa broke the kiss.
"Are you done talking?" Elsa had no idea where she got the courage to do what she just did. But from the brief kiss she did, she felt something.
She couldn't put it into words. She only felt it when she did it the first time. When her lips touched Jack's, she wished the moment would last forever. She didn't know if Jack or she herself was a good kisser, but from that brief kiss she felt a strong connection.
Could it be a chemistry between the two of them? All she knew, chemistry didn't come and go. Chemistry had to be there from the very start. And when she looked into Jack's eyes she knew that Jack felt the same way. She wanted more, they wanted more.
"Or are you going to kiss me instead?"
Jack didn't need to answer, and Elsa didn't need an answer. Without warning, they kissed passionately and the longing that had been held back finally erupted. When Jack's warm lips touched her's, she closed her eyes and she felt shock waves run through her body and cause her blood flow to increase, making her entire body tingle.
Her chest rose, her heart raced, and her breath was taken away. She felt her mind was slowing down, and everything seemed beautiful, like an impossible dream. Her brain was filled with dopamine and all negative feelings and thoughts were silenced. She leaned closer and didn't want the kiss to stop. She felt butterflies in her stomach and she didn't know that it actually felt very nice. Until now.
She was just about to deepen the kiss when suddenly, she felt a jolt of pain from her wound and spread through all of her body. She didn't realize that the kiss was getting more and more intense, making her body move beyond its ability.
She broke the kiss and moving her hands from Jack's face to clutch her middle and then closed her eyes tightly and whimpered in pain. Jack, who had been flying over the moon because of the kiss they shared, had to fall free when panic and worry took over.
"Elsa? Oh God, I've hurt you. It's your wound isn't it? I'm so sorry. I'll get the nurse." Jack was ready to leave the room but Elsa held him back by grabbing his hand.
"No. It's okay." Said Elsa, already opening her eyes and smiling as best as she could. The lines of pain were still clearly visible on her face but she tried to conceal them. "It was me. I was too enraptured when I kissed you."
"Are you sure?" Jack was still unconvinced because he felt the same way, he was too enraptured and maybe he accidentally made her wound throb.
"Yes." Elsa smiled reassuringly and took Jack's hand. "I'm alright."
"Okay. No kissing for a while. Not until you recover." Jack was serious about what he said and he didn't mind waiting for Elsa to recover until he could kiss her again, he didn't want to hurt her.
But surprisingly, Elsa pouted against what Jack suggested. She was new to this kind of sensation and it turned out that she loved this kind of sensation. She didn't want to wait that long. And then Jack advised them to stop doing it until she recovered? Jack screwed it up already.
"You didn't want to wait until you recover?" Jack asked to clarify the meaning of Elsa's pout, and Elsa's blushing face was enough of an answer. And then a shake of her head confirmed everything. "Why?" He chuckled and asked intending to tease.
Elsa looked up at the ceiling because she was embarrassed and confused about what to say. She couldn't possibly say, because I love kissing you. So, she thought hard to find a reasonable answer. She bit her lip then looked at Jack.
"I don't know." She shrugged, because she really didn't know what to answer or explain. She just didn't want to wait that long.
"Just say that you like kissing me, Elsa." Said Jack teasingly. And seeing Elsa blushing even more, he laughed and then pinched her nose. "You're so cute when you blush like that."
Elsa rubbed her nose and giggled. She found that she was no longer annoyed when Jack did that and instead, she felt her heart flutter because of it. They then stared at each other affectionately for a while and she felt like it had been a long time since she had felt as happy as tonight. The arrival of her mother and Jack made her feel like she could go home right now and forget the fact that yesterday someone had tried to take her life.
"I still owe you an apology though." Said Elsa after they broke their gaze. She took Jack's hand again and squeezed it. "Your mother told me everything. About your past and the reason why you came to that house. I apologize that I didn't want to hear your explanation. I had too many things on my mind at the time. Please, forgive me?" She looked up and stared at Jack.
Jack just smiled and brought Elsa's hand to his lips. "It's fine, Elsa. I already forgave you. Don't worry about it, okay?" He moved his hand to brush Elsa's hair and caressed her head. "I'm just relieved that you're awake now. You have no idea how scared I was when I saw you unconscious yesterday. I thought I would lose you."
"But I'm here now. I'm not that easy to get rid of." Said Elsa trying to lighten the mood, making Jack smile.
"I knew that." Jack sighed softly. "And you should be sleeping now. It's-" Jack checked his watch, ignoring the disapproving look on Elsa's face. "It's past midnight. Come on. You still need a lot of rest. I'll stay until you fall asleep." Jack bent down to straighten the blanket which was covering Elsa's body, only to get an irritated sigh from her.
"But I still want to talk to you." Elsa whined, holding Jack's hands firmly to stop them from moving. "How about you tell me how you found my mom?"
Jack didn't have the heart refuse Elsa's request, so he sat back in the chair and recounted from the beginning when Kai suggested him to look for Iduna in Northville.
Meanwhile in the waiting room, Iduna and Emelia sat side by side not knowing what they could do. Emelia noticed the look on Iduna's face which actually looked sad. Shouldn't she be happy to finally meet her daughter?
"Is everything alright?" Emelia shifted her position to be more comfortable talking to Iduna.
Iduna looked up not expecting Emelia to talk to her. She still thought she was a lowly person even though it might just be in her head and she knew very well how people looked at someone like her.
"It's okay. You can talk to me." Emelia tried to reassure her.
Iduna thought for a moment. She did need someone to talk to. The only name that came up was Gerda. But it had been a long time since Gerda had asked her to be honest with Elsa and she was sure when Gerda heard this she would immediately support Elsa's wishes.
She needed someone who was neutral, someone who wasn't judgemental, someone who would see problems as just the problem without considering anything else and she needed a new point of view, she needed a pure opinion.
"Elsa asked me to live with her." Iduna started.
"Really? That's great." Emelia's excitement sounded genuine because there was nothing better for her than the reunion of a mother and her child. She experienced it herself when she finally got to live with Jack. But seeing the look on Iduna's face, her excitement subsided. "But you don't want to?"
Iduna let out a long sigh and stared at floor below. "I really want to live with her. There's nothing else I want more than that. But I still have a doubt." She shifted her gaze to look at Emelia. " You see, she is a successful lawyer now. I don't want to ruin her career because of my presence in her life. I don't want to embarrass her for having a mother like me. I don't want people to look down on her the way people look at me."
Emelia smiled at Iduna's words. "You know, when someone makes a bad decision, it doesn't mean that they're a bad person. It's a bad person who always makes bad decisions. Look at me, my own husband is the one who tried to take your daughter's life. My husband is a big criminal. I should be ashamed to have a husband like him. Even though Jack has reported him and now he is behind bars, but still, people will look at me as the wife of a criminal. But they didn't know that Manny had threatened to kill me too." She paused for a moment when she saw Iduna's shocked expression.
"People will always talk, Iduna. But they don't know what we've been through. They can talk as they please but they will never know what it would be like to be in our shoes. I'm sure you have an explanation for why you took that path in the first place, and you can switch paths from now on. Leave your past in the past. What matters now is how you look to your future with your daughter."
Hearing Emelia's words, Iduna seemed to be enlightened. What Emelia said was true, she didn't have to care about what people would say. What was most important for now was how she lived the days ahead with her daughter. She was determined to no longer be a prostitute and she would make up for all the time and moments they had missed.
And with that thought, she was finally able to smile and the weight on her shoulders could be lifted a little.
"Thank you."
