Disclaimer: I do not own Ratchet and Clank or any of its characters. I'm feeling all my sad feelings today, so this will be a way for me to get out my feelings and try to turn them into something positive.
The Beauty of Shattered Glass
Savali was the biggest culture shock she had ever gone through.
Nefarious City was a raw place, jagged and vicious in its atmosphere. Anyone in the Emperor's army could stalk someone in the city on the slight suspicion that a robotic citizen was hiding a Resistance member or organic. In the army, you were decked out from head-to-toe with armor and weapon upgrades, ready to brutally enforce the will of the glorious leader of the galaxy.
Savali was nothing like that.
The sky was a soft shade of blue that made the breath catch in your throat. Long stretches of land, filled with the odd mountain range and small settlement, laid over a silent horizon. History infused every structure; the past breathing its presence to those who walked the surface of the planet. It was a serene place, one far from the treacheries of war and oppression.
KT-7461 was all too familiar with her crimes, and Savali was the best place to rid herself of her past.
The little robot hummed to herself, shifting the tiny broom to her other arm. Long fibers scratched against the stone, collecting dust from the Archives' entrance. Overhead, the protective forcefield flashed purple, keeping outsiders away from the treasured knowledge.
Besides the rhythmic thump of the Archives' transport system, the area was wrapped in a peaceful quiet.
It wasn't always like this. KT-7461 could still hear the piercing screams of those she had done harm to. The pure terror in their shrieks… the pleading looks in their eyes…
Her hands froze, and something that felt like nausea swept through her body.
The rebel intruder. The moment where she could have done anything else. The split-second when time had slowed to nothing and her arm had lifted and she had taken aim and-
"KT-7461? …Are you alright?"
She couldn't move.
A gentle hand touched her back, and Gary's comforting face appeared on her left. "KT-7461? Is everything okay?"
"I… I remember them," she whispered. It was impossible to speak at any louder volume. "I want to… I didn't mean to…" The little robot shook her head, turning away and staring back at the floor. Sweeping scratches echoed loud and clear. "My apologies. It was nothing. I shall go back to sweeping-"
Gary's foot tapped the space next to her broom, and with slow hesitation, the little yellow robot looked up to the person that took her in.
His face was the perfect picture of sympathy. Eyes full of care and smile just small enough to dispel any negative feelings. His arms crossed over a few thick books, carrying the stack softly enough to put down at a moment's notice.
"KT-7461, it's okay," Gary cooed. He tilted his head to the side, keeping his eyes on the robot in front of him. "I'm here if you ever need me in any way, and I won't judge you if you're going through something you need help dealing with."
Even though he was showing every sign that he would listen, KT-7461 didn't want to tell him anything.
No thank you, Gary.
It was really nothing.
That was nothing to fret over, I shall head back to cleaning-
"I am broken."
Gary looked at her, the comforting smile falling from his face. "Oh! Shall I call someone that may know how to repair you?"
The yellow robot laughed under her breath. Her optics locked onto the floor beneath them, and her hands moved the broom to sweep before her brain could process what she was doing. "I did not mean physically, although if you know of someone that is in need of spare parts, I am more than happy to offer myself up as a possible candidate."
Her broom stopped mid-sweep.
KT-7461 squeezed the broom handle, mimicked taking a deep breath, and looked up.
Gary stood, hunched over and with his free hand pinching the butt of the broom. "Please, KT, if there is something on your mind, I would like to help you in any way I can. If you don't want to talk to me right now, that's okay. If you don't ever want to tell me about it, that's okay too. But please do not joke about such serious matters." Long fingers let go of the broom. He bent down, taking a knee and getting as close to the robot's eye-level as he could. "No matter what, the Savali monks take in those who choose to make peace with themselves and those around them in the present time. We understand that not everyone here has a spotless past, as there is no such thing. We are not and will never abandon you."
"I-" Sharp pain erupted behind her optics, and something wet dripped down from the blue lenses. "It is an exceptionally difficult topic for me to discuss."
Gary nodded, and the soft, sympathetic smile from earlier returned. He set the books against the floor, careful not to harm the tomes. "Do you want to try and describe how you feel in a different way? Maybe like… using a metaphor for how you feel?"
KT-7461 paused. Nervousness and anxiety churned inside of her, and the urge to push Gary away overwhelmed her…
After a moment, she closed her optics. "I… am broken. Like glass."
"How so?"
"I cause so much pain." Something within the little robot snapped, and more liquid ran down from her optics. "I portray the illusion that I am nonthreatening, and then I cut you in the way that hurts the most. I negatively impact those around me, and I am nothing but a tool for evil-doers to use in order to harm innocent people."
Gary's thumb brushed under her left eye. "That's quite a metaphor," he said softly.
"It is why I am unwilling to strike up any deeper of a friendship between us, Gary." Her mouthpiece moved, though it took an extra minute before sound followed. "I know that if I get any closer to you, it will end with me hurting you in a way that will impact you the most, against my will."
Silence stretched over the space they were in.
More liquid trailed down from her optics, and KT-7461 pushed the back of her right hand over her right eye. When she pulled her arm away, the bright sheen of oil flashed in the mid-afternoon sun.
Gary's hand moved from cupping her face to her left shoulder. "If you feel that way about yourself, I will help you find the beauty I see from those jagged shards of broken glass."
The little robot stayed quiet, though she looked up to see Gary's face.
He tilted his head again, smiling. "I see so much beauty and worth in those glass shards. For every shard an evil-doer uses to do harm, a hero may take another shard and use it to defend the innocent. For every misshaped piece, I see a mural that isn't complete without one last piece of stained glass. For every cut I may receive, I know that the glass did not mean to hurt me, and only lashed out because it is scared of being away from its other halves."
Gary's other hand scooped up KT-7461's right hand, squeezing the metal limb with a gentle steadiness. "Do you know what else I see?"
"…No…"
"I see a fragment of glass that reveals the truth to her and others around her, helping them become the true self they see staring back at them."
A stuttering hiccup left the little robot, and Gary pulled the robot into a hug.
"I don't mean that as flowery praise or sweet nothings, KT," Gary rumbled, patting the little robot on the back. "I cannot reveal too many details of your future, as is the rule of being a prophet for the universe, but I can tell you that you are going to find your place one day, amongst friends that accept you for the good and the bad. Friends that look at you and see the best parts of themselves, urging them to be the heroes they are inside." He paused, letting the little robot pull out of the hug. "Friends that look at you and see the inner strength you wield inside your gentle nature."
An empty feeling swept over the little robot.
It didn't feel true, not in the slightest. There was little she knew about the future, and it didn't make sense to wait around and hope for things to get better. Even working towards a better future wasn't completely logical, because no one was always given the future they worked for.
And yet…
"I do not feel up to talking about it in more detail. I… do not feel up to talking about it anymore in the present moment."
Gary bobbed his head, understanding on his face. "That's okay. Like I said before, please, take time to open up when you feel comfortable to."
He grunted, rising to his feet. With slow movements, he picked up his books and straightened up.
"I can't force you to think over my words, but do consider them." Gary kept his eyes to her, a soft sigh leaving his long nose. "You may see yourself as fragile, but I know there is more in store for you. Your other pieces are still out there. For now, Savali is here to help you heal."
KT-7461 looked to her hands before looking back up to the taller creature. "Thank you, Gary. …I will consider your words." Blue optics looked to the tiny broom on the floor, and her hands wrapped around the handle. "Thank you. For everything."
"You're welcome, KT-7461."
When KT-7461 looked back up, Gary was gone.
She turned back to her work, sweeping at a much slower pace. His words turned over in her head, a war between his assurances and her own self-doubt erupting in the large spaces of her mind. It felt too flattering, too good to be something to take seriously.
It also felt true.
The little robot stopped sweeping. With an emotionless movement, she turned to look out over the Savali plains, watching them move with the Archives' transport system.
There was so much pain that came with broken glass. But if Gary was right, there were people somewhere in the universe that fit with her broken piece, that needed her to be complete.
KT-7461 turned away, muffling the mental war raging in her head. The sweeps started up again, though her pace fell between the fast one she had started at and the agonizingly slow one she had a moment ago.
Until those people—the people looking for a broken piece to complete them—showed up, she would use Savali to heal…
Song Inspo: "EVEN THOUGH I'M DEPRESSED" by Chase Atlantic.
I wrote this all to get out some negative emotions, and I feel a lot better now that this is written. Originally, I had planned to make it shorter and have Kit push Gary away fully to wallow in her self-pity, but my mind told me to end it on a slightly better note. I like this version more; she's hurting, but she knows that there is at least someone that is willing to listen to her and help her heal from her past.
Nonetheless, I hope you all enjoyed the story, and thank you all so much for reading. :)