Much Ado About Negawing: Stalk the Dad, Part 1 - Darkwing Duck (1991)
Negaduck frowns he prowls down the shadowy, street-lamp lit sidewalks of St. Canard. He whips his head back and forth, pulling his jacket closer around his body. Normally he doesn't wear disguises, but this is the only way he's going to be able to get around the city without the cops coming after him within the next ten minutes.
Even if he doesn't have anything evil planned for the evening.
No, he has something else entirely on the schedule tonight, and it doesn't include crime. Negaduck slips unnoticed into a dark alleyway. He doesn't have to wait long. Just as the criminal glances down at his wristwatch, he feels a pair of arms settle around his shoulders.
"I am the terror that flaps in the night," the voice murmurs. "I am the amorous champion of love who leaves Romeo in the dust! I am—"
Negaduck whirls around, smirking as he grabs the other's wrists. Even through the hero's own disguise, he'd know that semi-annoying voice, those bright blue eyes, those soft white feathers anywhere. "Darkwing Duck."
"I work hard on my introductions, the least you could do is let me finish them."
Negaduck shrugs, sliding his hands up Darkwing's sleeves. "Where's the fun in that?" He wraps his arms around the other duck's shoulders, and the Mighty Mallard returns the favour, settling his hands on his disguised double's back. "Miss me, Dipwing?"
"That's for me to know," Darkwing murmurs, closing his eyes as they press their foreheads together, "and you to find out."
. . . .
Earlier that night…
In the middle of the well-lit living room of her home, Gosalyn Mallard paces back and forth, her favourite hockey stick resting in her hands. Launchpad and Honker sit side by side on the couch, glancing at each other intermittently with puzzled expressions.
"Dad's been sneaking out in the middle of the night," Gosalyn finally pipes up, coming to a halt. She jumps up, her fingers curling around a plastic ring hanging from string curled around something attached to the ceiling, and pulls hard on it. A wide sheet of paper lowers, revealing several crude drawings scrawled across it. "Nobody knows why. It can't be for crime-fighting, cause he hasn't taken Launchpad with him even once. And he normally doesn't keep that a secret. It can't be to—"
Honker's raised his hand.
Gosalyn sighs, tilting the hockey stick in her hand towards her friend. "Yes, Honker?"
"What if he's doing something for S.H.U.S.H.?" Honker offers. "Like a super, top-secret mission to—"
"I already called Director Hooter, and he said Dad isn't working on any missions. And, in fact, there's actually a bunch of cases they've been waiting for him to take for a while now." Honker has nothing to say to that, so Gosalyn continues. "Dad can't be meeting with Morgana, cause they broke up a while ago, and when they were still dating, he wouldn't keep his dates with her a secret either. If Dad's not crime-fighting, hasn't taken any new S.H.U.S.H. cases, and isn't seeing Morgana, then it can only mean one thing. He's seeing someone new, and hasn't told us!"
"I dunno about this, Gos," Launchpad speaks up, a frown creasing his beak. "I mean, if this is something DW wanted us to know about, wouldn't he have told us? Maybe we should just wait for him to tell us himself."
Honker nods enthusiastically. "I'm with Launchpad on this one—"
"Overruled!" There's a pause, and Gosalyn grins, clutching her stick with both hands as she says to no one in particular, "Hey, this is kinda fun!" She then clears her throat and taps the pointy end of her hockey stick against the sheet of paper behind her, addressing the two birds sitting on the couch in front of her once more. "Tonight, whether Dad likes it or not, we'll find out just who he's been seeing! It's time for 'Operation: Stalk the Dad!'"
"Oooh, I don't think this is going to end well," Honker mutters, shaking his head as he shares a look with Launchpad. "My stomach feels all queasy."
"Not to worry, little buddy!" Launchpad pokes him gently in the stomach as he adds, "Maybe some Hamburger Hippo will help settle your stomach."
"… if you'll excuse me, I need to use the bathroom. Right now."
. . . .
Back to the present…
"Is it just me," Negaduck starts, looking over his shoulder, "or are we being followed?" He sees nothing but shadows and street lamps behind him, along with a couple of cars parked next to the sidewalk, and yet— he feels like they're being watched.
"You know, I was kinda wondering the same thing. My gas gun should scare them off!" Darkwing replies, also looking over his shoulder. He reaches in between his double layers of jackets, searching for the cool metal handle of the aforementioned device.
"I think my shotgun would be a little more effective," Negaduck retorts as he crosses his arms, unimpressed.
Darkwing pulls out his multi-purpose gadget with a triumphant grin, and then frowns at the other's words. "And what if the shrapnel hits an innocent civilian?"
"Isn't that what the hospital is for?"
"… I… we'll discuss this later," Darkwing tells him, shaking his head. The superhero then points the barrel of his gas gun towards the shadows. "Okay, listen up, pal! I don't know who you are, or what it is you're trying to pull here, but all I want is one night with my boyfriend where we're not being interrupted by some creep—"
A familiar face steps out of the shadows, her arms crossed as she glares at the older duck.
"… Gosalyn?!" Five other familiar faces follow her. "Launchpad?! Honker?!"
"Plus three twits," Negaduck growls, eyes narrowed dangerously as he glares at Bushroot, the Liquidator, and Megavolt. "Just what do you think you're doing here?!"
"You forgot about a previous engagement," Bushroot shoots back angrily. "That's what!"
"We were supposed to rob the St. Canard Museum of Questionable Art," Megavolt adds, crossing his arms. The two plug-like prongs on the top of his hat spark dangerously. "But someone stood us up!"
"Gee, I wonder why that is," Negaduck drawls mockingly. "Could it be because I hate you guys? Could it be because I'd rather spend my time with someone else?! Someone I actually want to hang out with!?"
"No, none of those could possibly be the reason!" the Liquidator declares. "The Liquidator suspects that there's something else at play here!"
Negaduck facepalms, a low growl emanating from his throat. "Remind me why I ever teamed up with you imbeciles…"
"Why would you keep this a secret from us, Darkwing?" Gosalyn pokes her father hard in the chest. "No. Why would you date Negaduck, of all people?!"
"Guess the cat's outta the bag…" Darkwing's shoulders sag, and he looks away from her.
"You're darn right it is!"
"This really isn't going to end well," Honker mutters for what is probably the millionth time that night.
Launchpad starts, "Gos, I might not be the smartest mower in the garage—"
"It's 'the sharpest tool in the shed,' L.P.," Darkwing corrects drily. "Not 'the smartest mower in the garage.'"
"Really?" Launchpad rubs the bottom of his beak with his hand, clearly surprised. "I always thought it was 'the smartest mower in the garage.'" He shrugs. "Anyway, I might not be that smart, Gos, but I do know this… that I paused for dramatic effect and I forgot what I was gonna say." The pilot shrugs, offering a sheepish smile.
Darkwing sighs, kneeling down beside Gosalyn and putting an arm around her shoulder. "Gos, I didn't want… I didn't want to keep this a secret from you. I really didn't. But I was afraid of how you and L.P. would react…"
"Good to know at least one of your brain cells is working!" Gosalyn snaps, pulling away from her father. "Why— why him, Dad?! Why Negaduck?! He's one of the most dangerous criminals of St. Canard, he's tried to kill all of us more than once— and I just don't get it!"
Darkwing sighs, looking away from her again and rubbing the back of his neck. "Because— I— we—" He looks up when a hand settles on his shoulder.
There's something in Negaduck's eyes that sends a cold streak of dread through his heart. And then the words come. "Maybe we should just… stop."
"What?! No!" Darkwing stands up and snatches the villain's other hand, gripping it tightly. "Negs—"
"'Negs,' what?" There's an emptiness in Negaduck's voice as he pulls his hand away. "For one, I keep telling you not to call me that! Second, this… was never going to work out. You and I both knew that. Sooner or later, our roles were gonna catch up with us. You're the city's hero. I'm public enemy number one—"
"Actually, Dr. Slug is public enem—" The glare Negaduck sends Bushroot's way shuts the scientist right up. "I said nothing!"
"Dipwing," Negaduck murmurs, no longer able to keep eye contact with the other duck. "It… it has to end here." He turns away, stepping into the shadows, out of sight.
Darkwing stares uncomprehendingly at the place where Negaduck had been just a moment earlier. The empty space beside him feels cold. Unbearably cold.
"DW, are you okay?" Launchpad asks, his concern for his friend growing.
Heartbreak is written all across the superhero's features.
Darkwing turns his gaze on the three Fearsome Five members still standing there, chattering amongst themselves about what just happened. His expression dissolves into a scowl, and he points his gas gun at them. "So. What's this I heard about an as of yet unexecuted plan of robbery of the St. Canard Museum of Questionable Art?"
"Uh oh…" Honker watches the superhero stomp up to the remaining villains— who then start backing away from him a bit, clearly on edge.
"Which one of you depraved executioners of villainy wants to go to jail first?!"
. . . .
"Launchpad, I think I made a mistake," Gosalyn mutters to the older duck as they watch Darkwing just lay there on the living room couch, as he had been all morning today, doing absolutely nothing. Unless staring at the ceiling counts as an activity, which in Gosalyn's book, it doesn't. "A really bad one."
"Everyone makes mistakes, Gos," Launchpad tells her, gently patting her shoulder. "Including me! One time I made the mistake of eating this whole jar of peppers that was sitting on the counter of Hamburger Hippo. I think that was the most water I'd ever drunk in my life!"
"This is different," Gosalyn says, waving a hand towards her still unmoving father. "He doesn't even get mad at me when I break something now. Watch." She walks up to the coffee table, and picks up a glass of water. And throws it at wall. Shards of glass scatter across the carpet, and a puddle of water saturates the cloth.
Darkwing just keeps staring at the ceiling.
"You see?" Gosalyn waves her hand towards the nighttime superhero again. She walks back up Launchpad, a look of determination crossing over her face. "So you know what we're gonna do?"
"Uhh… find DW a good therapist?" Launchpad guesses, giving her a sheepish smile.
"No, no!" Gosalyn pauses, putting a hand to her lower beak. "Actually, that's not a bad idea. Let's save it as a last resort. But I was thinking… we should try to get Dad and Negaduck back together!"
Launchpad scratches the back of his head, now rightfully skeptical. "I dunno about this, Gos… the last time we interfered, things didn't go down so well. What makes you think we'll be able to get them back together?"
"Oh, I know someone who might be able to help…"