A:N- Other than the romantic pairings, one of the main disappointing things from Harry Potter, for me, is that Ron never got a good opportunity to mature and become a hero in his own right. So, this is my attempt at fixing one of those things. Ron returning to the hunt having matured in his absence but a Harmony AU.DISCLAIMER- all characters and source material belong to J.K Rowling and Warner Bros.
The two of them sat there, on the snow-blanketed ground, breathing heavily. At last... The locket is gone. And not just that, but Ron is back! The relief had rushed through Harry the moment he registered who it was who had saved him from the pond. A sudden urge to hug him had overwhelmed Harry, an urge he did not even try to suppress.
But then they had opened the locket. What Ron had seen come out had launched butterflies into Harry's stomach, and not the good kind. He had squashed them down in the moment to encourage Ron to brave through the torment and destroy it. But now that he had, the next hurdle in his friendship with Ron presented itself harshly.
He really did like Hermione. Harry had seen Hermione telling Ron he wasn't good enough. Sure, he had seen Harry telling him similar things, but Hermione had mentioned comparing Ron to Harry. He knew that Ron had faced this insecurity about comparing to him before, most notably in fourth year, but something about the fact it had been Hermione saying it made Harry anxious. There must have been meaning behind that, right? It was trying to play on his fears. Then, of course, the ghostly forms of Harry and Hermione kissed. At that moment, something clearly clicked in Ron to finally convince him to take out the locket. He didn't want Harry kissing Hermione.
But that was exactly what Harry did want. Hermione was the one person Harry had always been able to count on. She had never failed to be at his side when he needed it and, of course, he liked to believe he had been there for her when she really needed it. He felt a connection to her unlike any other.
He had considered the idea of being with Ginny, of course. It was very clear towards the end of the previous year that Ginny was infatuated with Harry, and he was not oblivious to the fact that she was beautiful. He seriously considered it, even decided to spend some one on one time with her, walking around the lake once or twice, talking about Quidditch and whatever else they found engaging. He had problems though. It was very clear that her infatuation with him came from his fame, his status as the Boy-Who-Lived, as well as the memory of him saving her. She hadn't fallen for him as who he was, rather his fame and heroics. The other problem was that he didn't feel any kind of profound connection with her. Nothing like he had with Hermione.
So this lead to the current problem. He wanted to be with Hermione. Over the past month or two, or however long it had been since Ron left, they had struggled. They were silent for a few days, still having the heartbreak of Ron's departure in the forefront of their minds. But, soon, they found their routine without him. They got closer again, started working amicably again and even became more open with each other.
The climax of that time had been when they had, somehow, acknowledged their connection out loud. They had voiced, to some extent, their feelings for each other. It was a thrilling moment, filling Harry with joy and ecstasy. However, the final decision was that they couldn't afford to distract themselves from the mission, which was a real danger given how easily it could be for them to immerse themselves in each other and act like the rest of the world didn't exist. So, they didn't take the relationship any further. They worked, they laughed, but they didn't let themselves fall in love. For now.
But, now, although Harry was immensely relieved to have his best friend back, Ron was going to complicate things further if he started pursuing a connection with Hermione, only to discover that his apparent worst fear had been realised.
It was this realisation that lead Harry to the decision that he couldn't, wouldn't lose either of his closest friends. So, he shuffled himself closer to Ron, who was facing in the opposite direction, and placed him self directly next to him, but remaining facing the other way.
"She cried a lot you know. We hardly spoke to each other for well over a week afterwards. Even after we got back into the swing of the mission, to whatever extent we even did, there were days we hardly spoke. But we kept going 'cause we had to. She didn't stay for me. She stayed for the mission." For those last few words, Harry turned to look directly at his friend, and he stared back. For a moment, afterwards, his brow furrowed, and he looked at Harry with a questioning look. Harry wasn't sure what he was confused about, but then Ron's eyebrows rose in realisation. His jaw slacked for a moment as he turned away and it only took another moment for him to respond vocally.
"I don't know if I ever actually admitted this to you properly or not" he began" but I was always very jealous of you. You got all the attention, you were respected by people whom you had never even seen before. You were an instant head-turner just because of your name and something that you hadn't even been responsible for as a baby. All that jealousy built up over a few years and then came to a head, as you probably figured, in fourth year. A fourth triwizard champion. Unheard of, against the rules, hence TRI-wizard, and of course it was you. The great hero. I was so angry. All because I felt like nothing compared to you.
"It took less than a day for me to start hating myself for how I reacted. Hermione took you those piles of toast every day at breakfast and gave me the scariest death stares known to man every time. But out of my pure stubbornness, I refused to let myself apologise. Why would I admit that I was in the wrong, right? Why would anyone give up just like that? It would've been humiliating. It only took you going head-to-head with a dragon for me to forget all that and not be able to resist running to see you after. I'd all but forgotten everything until I was stood in front of you in the medical tent. At that point, why would I turn back? I knew I had been wrong the whole time, but my idiocy had stopped me from apologising." At that moment, Harry noticed that there were tears starting to roll down Ron's cheek. He was clearly feeling guilty about this still, but where this was going, he wasn't at all sure.
"Then all that happened with Hermione. Man I was obsessed with her. She was simply brilliant. She still is. I've never been able to understand how someone could have that kind of attention span. Sitting in the library, reading and writing for hours on end. She always helped us, even when she was swamped, she looked over our essays, corrected our mistakes, even wrote bits of the essays for us. School would've been so much more difficult for me without her there. But, only really because I was lazy. I didn't want to work so I used her as an excuse. That excuse then became some kind of infatuation. We all remember how I handled that.
"I gave in to my most negative emotions that year, and I knew it too. Fifth year I tried to be nicer. Didn't always succeed but I tried. We got on fairly well most of the time. Continued with that same arrangement, friends and she did the hard school work for me a lot. Then last year rolled around and she seemed pretty taken with you, not that you noticed of course" This part made Harry perk up a bit. Really, where was this going?
"All that talk of you never being more fanciable made me kind of uncomfortable, and then Lavender came along. To this day I'm not quite sure I understand why she was so taken with me. But I let it ride. Didn't refuse, I liked the attention you know. And there was the added bonus of, 'hey, maybe this'll make Hermione look at me now!' Of course, she did, but only because I was purposefully rubbing it in her face, not that she was actually jealous. There was a moment, that you never saw, and probably never heard about, when I accused her of realising that I was more generally desirable than she was and the only romantic thing that had ever happened for her was a guy 2 or 3 years older than her taking advantage. Not my finest moment. In fact, probably one of my worst." Harry, indeed, had never heard that this had happened.
"Then, I realised what I had been doing. Trying to make Hermione jealous when all I ever actually liked her for was that she helped me do well in school. We argue a lot and when we do it's incredibly aggressive. Liking her made no sense. I mean, I thought, maybe, we could balance each other out. She's the strict one and I'm the fun one. In theory, we would compliment each other, right? But, reality set in soon after." Suddenly, Harry's heart starting picking up pace. Maybe he wasn't going to hate where this was headed.
"I realised, I just wanted my friend, Hermione back. My friend. So, between then and when Lav ended it, I started talking to someone more openly. I mean, we've never really discussed emotions that deeply. So, I wasn't sure if I should come to you or not. Then Luna came up to me and told me I looked like I had been infested with Wrackspurts. That, or I was really upset about something. We talked for a while and then I realised how comfortable I was with her. I mean, we'd partnered up a lot in the DA. She's always had that way of being so blunt and honest which I've found quite comforting. We spoke whenever she came to see Ginny at the Burrow and I think that when I was talking to her about these issues was when I really understood what it's like to be vulnerable. I don't think I'd ever let myself before. I let my guard down, I guess, but she made me feel secure about it all."
Harry was slightly in shock. Ron likes Luna? How did that make sense with the vision they had just seen from the locket? Harry then realised Ron was looking directly at him, for the first time since he had started this speech. Clearly Harry must have looked perplexed because Ron's next words explained exactly what he had been wondering.
"The fears that the locket just showed me were about how I have always felt like I was out of place with you and Hermione. There has always been that nagging doubt that I wasn't good enough and I brought nothing to the group that would help with everything we've faced over the years. I was almost always just a spectator.
"But, the one thing I think you didn't see was the third figure in that vision. The whole thing was aimed at me so you didn't see the whole image. Behind the figures of you and Hermione was Luna. But she was walking away. She looked back once with a real dirty look on her face. One you could never really imagine from Luna, right? She seemed so disappointed in me; like she couldn't bare to look at me. She walked away and I was stuck feeling inadequate next to you and Hermione. As well as being the third wheel. " Harry sat there, his wide eyes fixed on Ron's. Ron, then, shifted his position so more of his body was facing Harry directly." I know you like Hermione and I know she likes you. You don't need to worry about me, mate. I've moved on." He simply left it there with a smile.
A number of emotions hit Harry at once. First, was relief. There was no conflict between him and Ron anymore. It seemed to have all worked itself out. But then an immense feeling of sympathy towards Ron overwhelmed him. He had never realised Ron had been going through anything to that extent. He always seemed so confident. Though, finally, a question rose from Harry's curiosity and he hadn't been able to stop it before he had started talking.
"If that's how you have been feeling the whole time, what made you come back?" Harry realised very quickly that that could go very badly and knock Ron's confidence further, but, thankfully, he didn't seem upset.
"Well, I spent a lot of my time away thinking about all of that. Thinking about why I left, about the mistakes I've made over the years, mostly with you and Hermione, and why. After a while, I reasoned with myself that, surely, if the locket had been telling me that, it had to be exaggerated, right? It can't all be true if You-Know-Who is trying to persuade me of it. As soon as I realised that, I realised how much I missed you both. Then, I was determined that, if I was ever able to find you, I would, just to show you I still want to help. I still want to be here." Harry felt a great wave of affection for Ron then. He couldn't stop himself from beaming at him in gratitude for this surprisingly profound confession. Clearly Ron noticed this because he chuckled and followed that up by saying "I had to grow up at some point right?"
Harry also chuckled at this, before pausing for a moment, considering his next words with care. "You have always been an important part of my life Ron. And this team, for want of a better word. Without you, joining the wizarding world would have been a lot more difficult, Hermione and I would not have won the Chess match in first year. Who knows what would've happened then. We might've died, and You-Know-Who could've risen again much sooner. Without you we might not have realised to use the Felix on Slughorn until it was too late. Also, you just saved my life five minutes ago from that pond. Had you not come back right then, I'd be dead right now. But, most importantly, for me at least, you are always there when I need you."
"I've abandoned you because of my jealousy twice now Harry. That's plainly not true." Ron countered.
"But you came back. You came back both times, and it means so much that you did. I can't judge you for giving into your emotions. I did the same thing fifth year. I shouted at people a lot. I snapped at you and Hermione and, even though the logic presented to me by Hermione made so much sense, I let my emotions convince me that Sirius was in trouble and then he ended up dying anyway. Probably even because of it." Harry hadn't spoken about that moment since and nearly choked on the words as he said them, feeling the weight of tears behind his eyes as he finished. "We can't get it right every time."
For a few moments, they just stared at each other, both with tears rolling down their cheeks. The emotional weight of the past few minutes really starting to take its toll.
"It's good to have you back, mate."
"It's good to be back. But, we should probably go find Hermione now."
"Yes, absolutely. If she wakes up and I'm not there she's gonna freak out."
"How angry is she gonna be at me?" They stood up as Ron asked this, with a sudden terrified look on his face.
"I'm assuming you don't actually want to hear the answer right now." Ron let out a brief, pitiful whimper that simply made Harry laugh. "Don't worry, she'll forgive you eventually... I'm sure. She's gonna be so confused when she's sees you. Actually, yeah, I'm still confused! How did you find us, anyway?"
"That, I'm still not sure I quite understand myself."