"Grr..." He twisted and turned in the sticky expanse of darkness he found himself in. No matter what he did, he couldn't move an inch...
So this was it, huh? After death was just... black. Nothing less, nothing more.
To be honest: he didn't really hate it. His life was always filled with anxiety and distrust, being a mafioso. So for once, he wanted to cherish this eternity of darkness and peace…
Of course, that would never actually last, and he soon found himself being woken up by some strange pull of energy…
It got stronger, and stronger and stronger before—
"Woah?!" Doppio looked around in confusion. Where was he? Why is he in an apartment room? Wasn't he supposed to be dead? And… who were the three other men with him?
"I see you've woken up," One of them suddenly spoke. He was a blonde, wore a well-kept suit, and carried the general demeanour of a high-level bureaucrat…
"W-Who are you?!" Doppio asked, naturally confused as to what they were doing here.
"No… don't encourage him..." One of the other people in the room muttered. Doppio tilted his head sideways, but just as he was about to ask the man to elaborate, the first one was already speaking:
"Ahem," He cleared his throat, and almost instantly, Doppio wanted to kick himself,
"My name is Yoshikage Kira. I'm 33 years old. My house is in the northeast section of Morioh, where all the villas are, and I am not married. I work as an employee for the Kame Yu department stores, and I get home every day by 8 PM at the latest. I don't smoke, but I occasionally drink. I'm in bed by 11 PM, and make sure I get eight hours of sleep, no matter what. After having a glass of warm milk and doing about twenty minutes of stretches before going to bed, I usually have no problems sleeping until morning. Just like a baby, I wake up without any fatigue or stress in the morning. I—"
"Purururururur! Purururururu!" Suddenly, the man named Yoshikage Kira was interrupted by Doppio.
"Oh! I'm sorry, but I think I have a phone call coming. I'd love to hear all about you, but I need to take this call!" He excused himself to a corner of the room before putting his hand on his head.
"Moshi moshi? Ah Boss! Yes… Mhm.. Mhm..."
"Great… I'm stuck with two idiots..." The man who muttered facepalmed as he looked disdainfully at both Kira and Doppio. He then turned to the quietest person here, "At least you're—"
"Shut it, you inferior waste of space,"
"...Or not," He sighed tiredly. What was a defeated vampire who stops time on a whim to do? Nothing much, really…
In an attempt to zone out from the two insane in the room, he began to focus on where they were actually imprisoned.
You see, he was the first to wake up, but because of his rush to get out and go back to fight those accursed Joestars, he wasn't able to study the room very clearly. It didn't help that he was shocked to the point of smoking the moment he touched the doorknob of this damned exit.
The room(he surmised to be the living room), apart from the doorknob, was shockingly(pun definitely intended) ordinary: it was a spacious, decorated room filled with both tints of the modernity he had a chance to witness while waiting in Cairo and something far more futuristic.
The room was white, square-like in shape, and was accommodated with trifles he was probably too old to really care about.
One of them was the large, black rectangle in front of him. It was put on a table and set just a few meters away from the L-couch he was sitting on. And although he could tell it was likely used in conjunction with resting on said couch, he had no idea what it was for the life of him.
Then there was the mini black rectangle on the coffee table in front of the couch. There were four sets, which correlated with the four of them. And just like before, he knew it was for personal use but never really figured the hows or the whys.
The rest of the room was largely empty: a few pot plants here and there, abstract paintings on the walls, and… a scratching post?
"Will any of you imbeciles be willing to tell me why we have a scratching post when there are no cats around?" He lazily turned to stare menaci— ahem! Menacingly at the trio.
"Oh, that's for Killer Queen!" Kira answered nonchalantly, and his stand appeared behind him.
Dio mimed a silent 'ah' in understanding before going back to—
"Wait, what the fuck! You have a stand?!" His eyes flew comically out of his sockets as he stared at the pink humanoid floating Menacingly behind the man.
"Woah! I thought cat girls were just a fantasy! But since there are cat boys, there must be a female counterpart!" Doppio added, not helpfully, mind you, but I digress.
Kira's eyes widened when he saw Dio's reaction and immediately went into fight mode, "Since you can see my stand, I must eliminate you to protect my secret!" He walked towards Dio, his stand at the ready.
Dio also summoned his own stand and chuckled, "Hoh? You're approaching me? Instead of running away, you come closer?"
Kira growled, "I can't beat the shit out of you if I don't come closer,"
Dio laughed maniacally, "Hahaha! You're not Jotaro; you'll never be able to beat my stando powah!"
"We'll see about that..."
"ZA WARUDO: Toki wo Tomare!"
"KIRA QUEEN: Daisan no Bakudan, Bites za Dusto!"
They fired off their most powerful moves in the blink of an eye. However… nothing happened.
""W-What?! Why is my stand not working?"" They looked incredulously at each other, shocked that their respective abilities weren't triggering.
"Why?" They heard a voice before the door opened up, "Because this room was created to stop reality-altering moves like yours from happening,"
Standing by the door were two people: a woman and a man. The woman had her face covered with a blindfold. She held a scale in one hand and a double-edged sword in the other. The man, on the other hand, simply held a plain staff.
"Good evening, gentlemen," She greeted them with a smile, the small mole next to her lips moving in tandem.
"I'm sure you must be confused as to why you're here," She continued, her voice soft and motherly, subconsciously relaxing the four.
"That's an understatement," Kira and friends muttered under their breaths.
"Speak when spoken to, trash!" The man screeched, his tone snooty and annoying.
"It's fine, Samuel," She calmly soothed the man, "Anyways, let's continue: you four are here because you all have died,"
"!?" Everyone recoiled in shock. So their memories weren't fake… they did perish…
"And normally, you'd just be sent straight to hell! However, powers like yours are very hard to come by, and I think it's fitting that instead of wasting such a good opportunity, we could use your abilities,"
She paused to prompt the man with a nudge. He nodded and began chanting…
Soon, they were faced with a giant map. On it was countless spheres littered carelessly on the paper
"These," She hovered her fingers over a particularly large ball, "Is our current dimension,"
She then trailed her index finger haphazardly across the whole map, "In exchange for not suffering eternal damnation, we want you four to team up and save one hundred dimensions. After the one-hundred mark, you will be automatically reincarnated without any strings attached. Do we have a deal?"
"..." The four of them stared at one another, noticing each other's indecision.
"Oh, and to help incentivize you, this is hell~!"
Suddenly, a gaping hole opened from below them, allowing them to clearly see the ongoings inside: rivers of blood, guts, pained screaming, devils, and a whole bunch of please forgive me gods populated the plane. After a few seconds, she closed it and spoke.
"So, do we have a—"
""""Deal!""""
"But we'd like to—"
"I want to swit—"
"Let me get this st—"
"Oh no! I can't be with bo—"
"Good! I just knew you were going to say yes!" She cut them off with her rapid speaking, "Anyways, this place is your new house! Your mission begins next week, so get ready and bye-bye!" And with that, the two of them ran out the door, not so much as even acknowledging the four's protests…
""""Damn it all...""""