Author's Note: This chapter takes place in the White Lotus camp on the day of Sozin's Comet, before the Gaang splits up to fight their final battles (episodes "Sozin's Comet, Part 2: The OId Masters" (S3 E19) and "Sozin's Comet, Part 3: Into the Inferno" (S3 E20)). In order to make this chapter complete, I also included two scenes from the episodes and fleshed them out from Katara's POV.
Chapter 7: Choices
Katara stood in the middle of the clearing formed by the circle of huts in the White Lotus camp. She gazed up at the sky, which was streaked with feathery clouds tinged with the golden glow of the early morning light. If Aang was out there looking for their group, she wanted to make sure he could see her easily. She knew that what she was doing didn't really make sense—he didn't have any way to fly, not without Appa or his glider. But his disappearance didn't make sense, either. Whether things made sense or not didn't matter. She just wanted to be the first person he saw when he found them. And she wanted to be the first one to see him.
Several members of the White Lotus began to stir from their huts and go about their morning. Katara was beginning to feel a little silly standing in the middle of the camp by herself. She spotted a large, flat rock at the edge of the clearing and sat down on it to continue watching for Aang.
As the morning went on, more and more people emerged from their huts, and soon the camp was bustling with activity. Sozin's Comet would arrive today, just after dusk. The White Lotus were making preparations to coordinate their attack on Ba Sing Se with the comet so their firebenders would be at the peak of their power. Katara and the rest of their group—along with Iroh, if he agreed to join them—would need to travel back to the Fire Nation to the site of the airship launch, which was about a day's journey from Ba Sing Se. Which meant that they would have to leave soon, right after they all got something to eat.
And yet, there was still no sign of Aang.
People were starting to sit down in small groups to eat breakfast. Katara would have to join them soon, if she didn't want to be hungry for the rest of the morning. She sighed in discontent and kicked at a scrubby tuft of grass.
Her brother walked over and sat down next to her on the rock. "You know, you should really eat something. We'll have to leave soon if we want to meet Aang at the airship launch."
But Aang wasn't going to meet them at the airship launch. He didn't even know where it was, not exactly. And he had no way of getting there on his own.
As long as Sozin's Comet was something that was going to happen in the future, Katara could hold on to the hope that Aang would return. But now that Sozin's Comet was almost upon them, cold reality set in.
"Aang's not coming back, is he?" she said quietly.
Sokka laughed nervously. "Don't say that. Of course he's coming back!"
Despair began to drag Katara down into a dark place, so she forced herself to focus on more practical matters instead. "How are we going to fight the Fire Lord without him?"
"If Iroh comes with us, we would still be six against one, and we'll have two overpowered firebenders on our side. I think the odds are with us." Sokka paused, realizing he just admitted that he didn't think Aang was coming back, either. "Hypothetically speaking, that is."
Katara saw Iroh approaching them with a tray that held several teacups. "Why the long faces?" he asked, as he handed her and her brother each a cup of tea.
"Aang isn't back yet," Sokka said.
"I noticed that the young Avatar is not with you."
"Aang went missing three nights ago," Katara explained. "He left everything behind except for Momo, who must have gone with him."
"He completely disappeared," Sokka said. "Even the bounty hunter with the shirshu couldn't find him."
Iroh stroked his beard. "Mmmm. That is mysterious, indeed."
"I'm afraid…we're afraid he's not going to come back," Katara said.
"Do not worry," Iroh said. "Aang will return."
Katara stared at the old general. He seemed so sure. "How do you know that?"
"He is the Avatar. Facing Ozai is his destiny. He will return."
Katara watched the steam swirl as it rose from her teacup. There was no reason why Iroh would have more knowledge of Aang's whereabouts than the rest of them did, but she wanted to believe him. His words carried the weight of the wisdom of many years. She would believe him. She had to. If she gave up hope now, then she really would be giving up on Aang.
"Great, that's settled, then," Sokka said, eager to change the topic. Then he waved to someone across the clearing. "Oh look, there's Zuko. He was going to help me practice a few sword forms before we take off today. See ya!" Her brother jumped to his feet, and with a quick wave, he trotted away.
After Sokka left, Iroh sat down next to Katara. "I can see you are worried about Aang."
"Yes, I am," Katara said. With Iroh, she didn't feel the need to hide the way she truly felt. She barely knew him, yet they seemed to share a special bond. It probably had to do with the way he had given himself up in Ba Sing Se so she could escape with Aang.
"Even if Aang does come back, I worry about him fighting the Fire Lord," she said. "He's caught in a dilemma. He has to take the Fire Lord's life before the Fire Lord takes his. Aang has never killed anyone before. He doesn't want to, not ever. It would go against everything he is."
Iroh sipped his tea. "It is up to Aang to determine the path he should take. After he figures it out, he will do what needs to be done."
"But that's just it. I know he'll do what needs to be done. He wouldn't run away from something like this. But I'm worried about what killing Ozai will do to him." Katara stared at her feet. "I almost killed a man, once. I wanted to kill him. Part of me still does. But even though I held back, it almost destroyed me.
"I know we need to win this war. But Aang…" A lump rose in her throat, choking off her words. The night before Aang disappeared, he sat by himself during dinner, away from the rest of the group. He had looked so small and alone. And when he talked about gluebending the Fire Lord, he had seemed so genuinely hopeful until Zuko shot him down. Aang had such a good-hearted, gentle nature. He hadn't developed calluses on his soul by growing up in a time of perpetual war like the rest of them had.
Katara swallowed hard and tried again. "What will it do to Aang, if he kills the Fire Lord?" Her eyes filled with tears. "What if he can't bring himself to do it? What if he…loses?"
As much as she believed that Aang would follow through with killing the Fire Lord, she still had a tiny sliver of doubt.
"Aang is the Avatar, and only he can shape his own destiny," Iroh said. "I have only had the privilege of speaking to him once, but I believe he will choose the right path."
The porcelain teacup was warm in Katara's fingers, but her hands were cold. There were only two possible outcomes to Aang's battle against the Fire Lord. Aang would kill Ozai and, in doing so, destroy his own spirit. Or he would refuse to take Ozai's life and be the one who is killed, instead.
"I'm afraid of losing him. Even if he survives." Katara was crying openly now, the tears flowing down her cheeks. "I can't watch him die again. I can't watch him destroy himself by killing Ozai. I won't be able to save him this time. What should I do, General Iroh? What can I do?"
"Your fears are justified. You suffered a great loss in Ba Sing Se." Iroh turned to face her. "But you cannot let your fears control you. You must learn to let them go. How Aang deals with Ozai is his choice to make, and his alone."
"But how do I do that? How do I let go of my fears?"
Iroh's eyes seemed to see straight into her soul. "Do you believe in Aang? Do you believe he will make the right decision?"
Katara thought back to the times when she had depended on Aang—trusted Aang—to get them out of sticky situations or make important decisions. Overcoming Bumi's tricks during his trials in Omashu. Persuading Heibai to stop attacking Senlin Village by giving the spirit an acorn, as proof that the forest would grow back someday. More recently, deciding not to fight Ozai after the eclipse had passed. Accepting Zuko into their group, despite Katara's misgivings.
"Yes. I trust him. I believe in him," she said.
"Then you have your answer. You must have trust and faith in Aang to fight his own battles. Only then can you begin to let go of your fears." Then Iroh smiled at her, a kindly, gentle smile. She wondered if Iroh was what Aang would be like in his later years.
Katara closed her eyes and took a deep breath. Trust in Aang. Believe in him.
She began to relax as the tension left her body. Let go of my fears.
"You should try your tea before it gets cold," Iroh said.
Katara opened her eyes. He must have brewed the tea himself, she realized. She felt a little embarrassed that he noticed she hadn't so much as taken a sip.
Not wanting to seem rude, she lifted the teacup to her lips and sipped the amber-colored tea. The taste was smooth and slightly sweet, without any hint of bitterness. It filled her with warmth and dulled the edges of her anxiety.
"The tea is delicious," she said with some surprise. "And very soothing."
"I am glad you like it. Gaoshan tea is famous for its calming effects."
Katara set the teacup down and stood up. She held one hand upright, placed her other hand in a fist against the base of her palm, and bowed before Iroh. "Thank you, General Iroh, for the tea and the advice. Both have helped me very much."
Katara and rest of the group sat in a circle with Iroh as they ate a breakfast of stewed meat and pickled greens over rice. Zuko asked Iroh to join them in fighting the Fire Lord, but the old general refused, saying that it was Aang's destiny to face the Fire Lord. Instead, Iroh insisted that his own destiny was to conquer Ba Sing Se with the White Lotus and return the city to the Earth Kingdom.
Then Iroh turned to his nephew. "Zuko, you must return to the Fire Nation, so that when the Fire Lord falls, you can assume the throne and restore peace and order."
Katara stared at the bowl of stew in her hands. General Iroh really believes that Aang will come back to face Ozai, she thought. Maybe I will see him again. We'll fight the Fire Lord together, and we'll win.
"But Azula will be there, waiting for you," Iroh continued.
"I can handle Azula," Zuko said.
But Iroh frowned. "Not alone," he said. "You'll need help."
Zuko nodded. "You're right. Katara—"
Katara looked up at the sound of her name.
"—how would you like to help me put Azula in her place?"
What? Zuko wants me to help him fight Azula? Katara hesitated. She couldn't leave Aang to fight the Fire Lord without her. But Zuko needed help facing Azula, and Katara was the best one for the job.
General Iroh believes in Aang. I need to believe in Aang, too.
Besides, it was Azula. It was time for payback.
She nodded at Zuko with more confidence than she felt. "It would be my pleasure."
It was dusk, but the orange hue of the sky wasn't from the sun, which had already set. The source of the eerie light that suffused the landscape was a brilliant—almost blinding—plume of light on the horizon. The rocks and trees that passed below were bathed in a deep orange color, giving Katara the impression that they belonged to another world. A dull roar filled the air, a low, constant rumble that got louder with every passing hour.
Sozin's Comet had arrived.
Iroh's words echoed in Katara's mind. Our destinies are upon us.
She and Zuko flew on Appa over the rugged terrain of the Fire Nation. They would reach the royal palace within the hour. Iroh and the White Lotus would soon be breaching the inner wall of Ba Sing Se. Sokka, Suki, and Toph should have reached the site of the airship launch by now. Katara and Zuko would face Azula, the source of so much grief and suffering for them both.
And Aang…
What if Aang doesn't come back? Toph had asked earlier that morning.
Aang will face the Fire Lord, Iroh had replied. Once again, the old general had seemed so certain.
Katara had to believe. Aang would come back. And he would defeat the Fire Lord.
Zuko had grown quiet since they passed the Black Cliffs, the last major landmark east of the Fire Nation capital. Soon, they would be at the Great Gates of Azulon, with the harbor and the capital not far beyond.
He must be getting anxious about fighting Azula, Katara thought.
"Zuko, don't worry. We can take Azula," she said.
Zuko shook his head. "It's not her I'm worried about. I'm worried about Aang. What if he doesn't have the guts to take out my father?"
That wasn't the response Katara was expecting. Caught off guard by his reply, she couldn't help wondering, What if Aang can't bring himself to kill the Fire Lord?
Zuko looked her directly in the eyes, as if he knew exactly what she was thinking. "What if he loses?" he said.
All the doubts and fears that Katara had worked so hard to keep dammed up came rushing back. What if the Fire Lord kills Aang? What if I never see him again?
If Aang dies, it will be my fault. Because I wasn't there to help him. I should have gone with Sokka and the others. I should be with Aang right now!
But she had made her choice. She would continue on to the royal palace and help Zuko defeat Azula. It was too late to turn back.
Katara had also chosen to place her trust in Aang, to have faith that he would be strong enough to make the right decision and do what needed to be done. She clung to that faith, no matter how fragile it was. She had to. It was the only thing she could do.
Because right now, she needed to focus on the task facing her and Zuko. Azula was waiting for them.
"Aang won't lose. He's gonna come back," she said adamantly.
Aang was going to come back from wherever he had disappeared to. He was going to come back from fighting the Fire Lord.
"He has to," she said, more to herself than to Zuko.
Because Katara wouldn't be able to live with herself if he didn't.