Author's note: Chapter 9 is a direct continuation of the previous chapter.
Chapter 9: Destiny
Katara leaned over the low stone wall that bordered the koi pond in the manicured gardens of the Fire Nation royal palace. She watched the koi fish swim, scales of orange and yellow and black glittering in the late afternoon light. The koi undulated their spindle-shaped bodies as they glided through the water, their gossamer fins fanning out and flowing behind them.
Every now and then, two koi would circle each other before swimming off on their separate ways. Like Tui and La, the Moon Spirit and the Ocean Spirit.
The previous winter, when the Fire Nation attacked the Northern Water Tribe, Katara had battled Zuko to protect Aang when he entered the spirit world to enlist the help of the Moon and Ocean Spirits. But Zuko had knocked her out and snatched Aang away from under her nose. It was not the first time that Zuko had taken Aang captive, but it was the first time Katara had lost Aang because she failed to protect him when he needed it the most. But the sense of dread she had felt when she discovered he was gone was only a pale shadow of how devastated she would be when he was struck down in Ba Sing Se.
Katara remembered Ba Sing Se like it was yesterday. The rush of awe when Aang emerged from his crystal fortress in the Avatar State. The shock and horror when Azula's lightning convulsed his body. Her overpowering grief as she cradled his lifeless body in her arms. Grief that gave way to joy when the spirit water revived him, but then spiraled into despair as he slipped away into unconsciousness.
The weeks that followed were some of the darkest weeks of her life. She spent hours every day attempting to heal Aang as he hovered on the fragile border separating life from death. Her hands became shriveled and pale from spending so much time covered in water. When they dried, her skin was like brittle parchment that cracked and bled with every movement.
Even when Aang was out of danger, it seemed like he would never wake up. At first, Katara began every morning with the spark of hope that today was the day he would open his eyes. Even though she had her own bunk in the ship, she slept on a pile of blankets on the floor of his room, wanting to be the first person to see him—and be the first person he saw—when he woke up. But he remained silent and motionless, completely unaware of her presence.
Then every day started to feel the same until they all bled into one another. After a while, Aang was no longer the charming and vivacious boy whose smile brightened Katara's life. Instead, he had become nothing more than an empty shell, as if his spirit had fled and left his body behind. Even as he grew stronger with her healing, Aang remained asleep. The hope that she would one day hear him laugh again and look into his clear gray eyes—that hope began to fade. She stopped sleeping in his room.
The wound on his back was the worst of all. The flesh was red and raw, angry and twisted, a rupture where there should have been smooth skin, where his arrow tattoo should have run through unbroken. Whenever Katara tried to heal the wound, she wrestled with an energy that was warped and tangled and resisted her best efforts. No matter how many times she tried, no matter how many different methods she used, the twisted energy remained stubbornly unchanged.
The unhealing wound became the symbol of her failures. Her failure of judgment, in trusting Zuko. Her failure as a fighter and a waterbender, losing the battle in the catacombs and leading to Aang's death. Her failure as a healer, as the wound made a mockery of her skills while Aang remained dead to the world.
Eventually, though, Aang woke up and the wound on his back scarred over—on the surface, at least. So did the wound on Katara's soul. But for both of them, their wounds ran deep and never fully healed.
Aang's death in Ba Sing Se and the dark days that followed haunted Katara. But the memories had lurked below the surface, out of sight. After the war ended, the walls she had raised to protect herself were stripped away. Aang had survived the war—they had all survived—and she had believed they were safe, now. But when she kissed him on the airship, when she started to open up her heart to him, all the pain she had suppressed came welling back up.
I love Aang. I loved him then, and I love him now. But I can't go through another Ba Sing Se. I can't go through losing him again.
Footsteps approached from behind, and Katara turned to see Iroh walking up the path. He joined her at the edge of the koi pond, his hands clasped behind his back.
"Thinking about the young Avatar?" he said.
Her eyes grew wide. How did he know?
"You looked like your mind was somewhere else," he said, by way of explanation. "Aang did well. He followed his own path, in the end."
Then he gave her a solemn look. "I should thank you for saving my nephew's life. We both owe you a great debt."
Katara shook her head. "No, he was the one who saved my life, General Iroh. I wouldn't be here right now if it weren't for him."
Speaking of Zuko…
"Shouldn't you be with Zuko and his advisors right now?" she said. "The coronation is tomorrow."
It had been two days since Aang defeated the Fire Lord. Two days since she and Aang kissed in the captain's cabin of the airship. Two days since she told him she wasn't ready for them to be together. Maybe she never would be.
She hadn't seen much of Aang since then. He had been swept up in the events that came with ending the war, such as assisting Zuko in establishing the allegiance of the Fire Nation military and making arrangements to free their allies who were imprisoned after the invasion. And then there were preparations for the coronation and beyond—from the little things, like getting measured and fitted for robes for the ceremony, to weightier matters, such as being appointed honorary advisor to the Fire Lord.
Katara thought that Zuko would have asked Iroh to be one of his advisors as well. But Iroh gave a hearty chuckle and said, "I meant it when I said that I was going to run my tea shop and play Pai Sho every day. Zuko has found his own path and forged his own destiny. He no longer needs my guidance. Besides, I wouldn't want to give the impression of trying to rule the Fire Nation through my brother's son."
"You must be proud of Zuko. He's changed so much."
Iroh nodded. "It was a difficult road for him, but he managed to find his own way."
"But he didn't do it alone," Katara said. "After he joined us, he talked about you all the time. When his path was still unclear, he needed you. You were there for him in a way no one else ever was."
The old general bowed his head. "Zuko…was like another son to me."
"Another son?"
"Lu Ten, my only son, was killed while fighting in the siege I led against Ba Sing Se. That was five years ago."
Iroh didn't say anything more. He watched the koi fish swim their elegant dance without really seeing them.
Katara's fingers went to the pendant of her mother's necklace. "I'm sorry to hear about your son. I've also lost someone I love to the war. My mother. She was killed in a Fire Nation raid on my village when I was eight years old."
Iroh heaved a long, weary sigh. "I am sorry for your loss. I truly am. The list of atrocities that my country has committed in the pursuit of power and glory is long indeed."
"I grew up without my mother," she continued. "In fact, I had to take her place and her responsibilities, for my family and my village. It wasn't supposed to be this way. She was supposed to be the one teaching me how to cook. She was supposed to be the one to hug me when I was scared or sad. She was supposed to take care of me and Sokka after my father left to fight in the war.
"She's supposed to be here, right now, celebrating the end of the war with us. But she's not. When she died, part of my life ended, too. The future I was supposed to have with her just…disappeared."
Katara's vision blurred with unshed tears. She wiped at her eyes with the back of her hand, smearing the tears across her face.
"After my son's his death," Iroh said, "I called off the siege and traveled the world, grieving my son and searching for a way to enter the spirit world to find him. I don't know exactly what I thought I would accomplish by finding him in the spirit world. I just knew I did not want to accept that he was gone.
"I persisted in my search for two years. While I eventually found a way into the spirit world, I never found Lu Ten. But in my journeys, I learned what it meant for my soul to find peace. I would never fight alongside my son again, nor would I see him become a decorated soldier in the military. I would never see him marry or have children of his own. But I learned to let go of my grief and not let it consume me.
"I decided to live the rest of my life in retirement. I no longer wanted to be part of the cycle of war that took sons from their fathers and mothers from their daughters. But Zuko was banished not long after I returned home. I had lost a son, and he had lost a father. So I joined him in his search for the Avatar."
So that's why Iroh traveled with Zuko. That explained why even though Iroh had been on Zuko's side, he never exuded the sense of menace or animosity that his nephew did.
"You must have known that hunting the Avatar was a dangerous mission," she said. "Is that why you joined Zuko? To protect him? After you lost your son, were you afraid that you would lose Zuko, too?"
Iroh turned to face Katara. He reminded her of a benevolent grandfather, but in the creases on his face and around his eyes, she also saw the formidable general who had conquered entire cities for the Fire Nation. Though his eyes were compassionate, they were also the eyes of someone who had seen death and lived with the knowledge of having been responsible for the deaths of others.
"Once you've lost someone you love, the fear of it happening again never leaves you," he said. "But you cannot let your fears control you. Zuko needed to make his own decisions and figure out his own path. I could help him and guide him, but I could not protect him against every danger. Nor was it my place to do so.
"But no matter how hard I tried to steer him in the right direction, he made a fatal mistake when he sided with Azula in Ba Sing Se. After we returned to the Fire Nation, he visited me in prison, but he still seemed confused. He was angry, and he was suffering from the consequences of his decision. I thought I had lost him for good."
Even though Katara had forgiven Zuko, she felt a momentary flash of bitterness at the mention of his betrayal. "It must have been difficult for you to watch Zuko choose the wrong path, after everything you did for him. It must have hurt."
Iroh sighed. "Yes, it did hurt. But when you love someone, you cannot cling to them out of fear. You must allow them to fight their own battles, even when it hurts."
Was that what Katara was doing then, with Aang? Clinging to him out of fear? She watched another pair of koi fish swim in a circle around each other. Tui and La. Push and Pull, the endless dance between the Moon and Ocean Spirits. That's what she was doing with Aang. The love between them was so strong that it kept pulling her to him, but she kept pushing him away. She wasn't clinging to Aang out of fear—she was clinging to fear itself.
"General Iroh, when we were in the White Lotus camp, you told me that I needed trust and faith in order to let go of my fear of losing Aang. You helped me trust in Aang to fight his own battles. It was very good advice, and I was able to do it, for a while."
Katara's fingers curled over the rounded edge of the wall around the koi pond. "The war is over now, but I still can't let go."
She remembered how it had felt to hold Aang, with his arms securely around her, how perfectly they had folded into each other when they embraced in the twilight of Sozin's Comet. The kisses she had shared with Aang in the airship still lingered in her memory and on her lips. They had never been so close before. But it wasn't just the kissing—they had talked, too, about things she'd never told him before.
"I want to let go of my fear."
She did want to. She had opened the door to starting something new with Aang, to becoming something far more than friends.
"I have to let go of my fear," she said. She already had one foot over the threshold. There was no going back.
"But…" She couldn't bring herself to step all the way through to give her heart to Aang. "I just can't do it."
Being with Aang meant making the promise of a future together. Not marriage—they were much too young to be thinking that far ahead. But it would be more than just dating a boy she liked. Because he was the Avatar, and he was Aang. They had been through so much together. And even though they were young, their love for each other was very, very real.
But Katara had watched him die in Ba Sing Se. What if she had used up the spirit water to heal Zuko's scar? What if the spirit water hadn't brought Aang back? He wouldn't be alive right now. Any future she might have had with Aang, even as his friend, would have ended in that moment.
"Live long enough, and you will lose someone you love," Iroh said. "We will all lose our parents someday. Husbands and wives, brothers and sisters—they will lose each other, eventually. Your children, too, if you are as unfortunate as I was. But you cannot let your fears steal the present and keep you from savoring the moments you have with the people you love."
Katara knew what Iroh was saying was true, and that he meant well. But she also knew that letting herself fall all the way in love with Aang, opening up her heart completely to him, would make losing him even more devastating than it had in Ba Sing Se. She couldn't bear the thought that one day he would be gone, when he was supposed to be at her side. Just like what happened with her mother.
"How can you bear it? The thought of losing someone again?" she asked Iroh.
The old general pondered her question for a moment. "I miss my son, and I will always grieve for him. But there is still much joy to be had in life, even if Lu Ten is no longer with me. Living in fear of losing someone again would have robbed me of the bond I now have with Zuko, and the world would have suffered for it. Never underestimate the consequences of your actions. Even the smallest pebble can create ripples that spread across the entire ocean."
Then Iroh looked her in the eyes, and Katara couldn't shake the feeling that he could see straight into the heart of her problem. "We cannot live life driven by fear, trapped in the idea of what was supposed to be. We must make the most of whatever life gives to us. Each one of us has the power to shape our own destiny."
The hubbub of the crowd died down as everyone took their places. Katara and her friends made up the front row of the audience for the coronation ceremony of the new Fire Lord. The people who had fought in the war—fighters and soldiers from the Southern Water Tribe, the Earth Kingdom, and the Foggy Swamp Tribe—stood behind her in long columns in the plaza before the Fire Nation royal palace. Even Fire Nation soldiers were present, making up the fourth column.
It seemed surreal to Katara that the Earth Kingdom and Water Tribes would stand together peacefully with the Fire Nation in the very place where she and Zuko had battled Azula, the then Fire Lord-to-be. That she would join her brother and father, her friends and allies, in attending the coronation of Zuko, once their sworn enemy, as the new Fire Lord.
The gong sounded and the crowd cheered as Zuko appeared on the dais atop of the steps of the royal palace. With his hair brushed back and styled into a topknot, the Zuko onstage reminded Katara of the Zuko who had attacked her village and taken Aang away. But the Zuko in front of her today was not the same one who had hunted Aang in a single-minded quest to restore his honor, nor was he the one who had turned on her and Aang in Ba Sing Se. This Zuko had forged his own destiny and chose to restore his honor by joining forces with Aang to restore balance to the world.
There was nothing Zuko could do to make up for the wrongs of the past. But his regret was sincere, and Aang—and the rest of the group, as well—had forgiven him.
Katara was reminded of her conversation with Zuko after she had finished healing him on the airship. "No one deserves to be forgiven," she had told him. "But once someone forgives you, the past is just that—the past."
Zuko held up a hand to silence the crowd. "Please, the real hero is—" he gestured to the wide doorway behind him "—the Avatar."
As Aang emerged from the entranceway of the palace, Katara's breath caught in her throat. He wore a gold-colored shawl over light yellow robes, a red sash tied around his waist and a necklace of wooden beads and tassels around his neck. Katara had expected Aang to be in formal dress, but actually seeing him in the garb of a master airbender with her own eyes was something to behold. He looked older and more mature, but even more strikingly, he looked every bit the Avatar that she had believed and hoped he would become.
Aang and Zuko stood next to each other on the dais, but it was not her friends that Katara saw. What she saw was the Avatar and the Fire Lord standing together as allies who had fought on the same side to end the hundred-year war. The vulnerable and inexperienced had become the protector and adept. The betrayer and treacherous had transformed into the trusted and honorable. They were proof that no matter how hopeless things might seem, change and redemption were not out of reach.
As the crowd continued to cheer, Katara could not take her eyes off Aang. He was both her dearest friend and the boy she loved, the free-spirited boy she had broken out of the iceberg. But more than any of these things, he was the Avatar. The bringer of change and balance, through not just combat and bending, but through compassion and friendship as well.
Katara finally understood what it meant for Aang to be the Avatar. Aang was not just a uniquely gifted boy whose quest was to learn the elements to defeat a powerful enemy. He was Avatar Aang, whose responsibility—and destiny—was to change the world and help usher in a new era of peace. And he would do so in a way that remained true to who he was. He would shape his own destiny and the destiny of the world, just as he had done when he battled Ozai.
The full meaning behind Iroh's words to her in the White Lotus camp now became clear. "You must have trust and faith in Aang to fight his own battles. Only then can you begin to let go of your fears."
Fear loosened its grip on Katara's heart, and the wounds that she harbored deep inside finally started to heal.
Katara noticed Aang scanning the crowd, as if looking for something. Then their eyes met. Time slowed down, and the world froze. She no longer heard the cheering around her, and the only thing she saw was Aang. Her heart swelled at his warm gaze, the very same look he had given her when they kissed that night on the airship.
There was something else, too, in the way he looked at her, but she couldn't put her finger on what it was.
But it didn't matter. He loves me, and I love him. And I'm finally ready to do something about it.
Katara was done with being pushed and pulled by her emotions. She was ready to take her destiny into her own hands.
Katara walked down the hallway that led to the guest quarters of the Fire Nation royal palace. The torches lining the deep red walls and the dark marbled floor gave the halls an ominous and unwelcoming feel. She had to remind herself that the Fire Nation was no longer her enemy, and that the palace was now home to one of her friends.
Earlier that day, post-coronation celebrations included reunions, explorations of the Fire Nation capital, and a lavish banquet that continued well into the night. After a day filled with activity and high emotions, Katara was exhausted. She was grateful for this moment of solitude.
Katara had tried to find Aang after the ceremony, but he was predictably occupied with meeting with officials and ambassadors from the three nations. He wasn't even able to join her and their friends in touring the capital, though she was sure he would much rather be out exploring than stuck in meetings all day. Even at the banquet, Fire Nation advisors and functionaries constantly demanded Aang's attention. She saw him cast longing looks at their group of friends, while trying to pretend that he was listening to what was surely a dry conversation.
Poor Aang, stuck with those stuffy officials all day long, Katara thought. But maybe I can be a bright spot in his day.
It was late, but she hoped that he was still up. She looked forward to having a quiet conversation with him, telling him that she was ready to take the next step, that she was ready for them to be together. And then they would kiss. Her skin tingled just thinking about it.
She approached a three-way intersection and turned left to enter the hallway that led to Aang's room.
Two guards wielding halberds stood sentry a short distance down the hall. One of the guards stepped in front of her and held up his hand. "Halt! What business do you have with the Avatar?"
Katara blinked in surprise. "Oh…I'm one of his friends. Please, let me through."
The guard scrutinized her through narrowed eyes. "Only the Fire Lord or those with official business may see the Avatar," he said, and waved her away.
"But I do have business with him! I'm one of his closest friends!" Katara said, and started forward.
The other guard stepped up, and the two guards crossed their polearms to block her way.
Katara sighed. "Okay, okay, I get the hint. Could you at least give him a message? Tell him that the waterbender—he'll know that's me—would like to talk to him about…about something important. Please ask him to meet me in my room. It's down that way—" she pointed behind her to the other hallway that branched off the intersection "—and it's the third door on the right."
The guards didn't respond and only stared at her, stone-faced.
Okay then. Guess that's my cue to leave.
Back in her room, Katara waited up for Aang. She read a book, paced the floor, and bended the water in her pitcher into a cup and back again. Eventually, she curled up on her bed, still fully dressed. I'll take a nap until he shows up, she thought, and drifted off.
But Aang didn't come, and Katara slept until morning.
"I'd say that went well," Katara said.
She and Aang descended the massive staircase of the Earth King's palace in Ba Sing Se that led to the streets below. Sokka, Toph, and Zuko walked several steps ahead of them. They had all just met with King Kuei about the problem of Fire Nation colonies in the Earth Kingdom. Zuko had promised the Earth King that he would remove the colonies, and Aang had volunteered to help oversee the process.
"Yeah, it did," Aang said. "Thanks for offering to come with me to the Fire Nation colonies. Having you and Sokka come along would be a big help."
"And maybe we'll get the chance to spend some time together, too," she said, giving him a meaningful look.
Aang smiled at her. "It'll be just like old times, wouldn't it? You, me, and Sokka traveling the world. Only this time, no one will be chasing us. Too bad Toph isn't coming, though."
Katara frowned. She was pretty sure her meaning hadn't been lost on him. This was the first time since the coronation that she had the chance to talk to Aang, just the two of them together, even though the others were not far off. She wanted—needed—to tell him that she was ready to be with him. Walking next to each other, they were close enough to hold hands. Her fingers itched to reach out and touch his hand. But she was in no position to do that, not until they talked.
They still had a few days before they planned to leave Ba Sing Se, but she didn't want to wait that long. She couldn't wait that long. Besides, Sokka would be with them, too, which would make things even more complicated.
Maybe she needed a more direct approach.
"Hey Aang, if you're not busy tonight, maybe we could take a walk along the river after dinner. Just the two of us. Things have been so hectic lately, it would be nice to catch up." Then she blushed, feeling shy. "There's…something…I'd like to talk to you about."
Before Aang could respond, Sokka leaped down the last few steps—they were almost at street level now—and turned to face the group. He clapped his hands together and said, "Listen up everyone, we're going to spend the rest of the afternoon unwinding and having a good time."
He whipped out a flier emblazoned with a picture of a badgermole and the characters for "COLD DRINKS" and "KARAOKE" across the top in large print. "The Blind Badgermole Tavern is hosting a live band for karaoke today! They'll be playing the hottest tunes for us to sing along. The menu of finger foods is to die for, and they're even serving iced mango lassis."
"Uh…okay," Katara said, rather miffed that her brother had interrupted her conversation with Aang.
Sokka hooked an arm around Aang's shoulders as he stepped onto the street. "And you could definitely use a break, my good man, after a whole week of Avatar business. Whaddya say?"
Aang shrugged off Sokka's arm with a good-natured smile. "Thanks, Sokka. But actually, I was going to take a ride on Appa. I haven't been spending much time with him, and I think he's been feeling neglected."
"Aw, come on. Suki's going to meet us there. This could be the last time for a while that all of us are going to be together, just relaxing without a care in the world."
But Aang pulled out his bison whistle from his robes and blew into it. Although the whistle made no audible sound, the massive, furry air bison came soaring over the rooftops and landed next to them in the street.
"Come on, twinkle toes. Just one last time. It'll be fun!" Toph said.
Aang shook his head. "Sorry, guys. I've kind of missed flying with just me and Appa." With a nimble grace, he hopped onto Appa's head in a single bound and grabbed the reins.
"Please? Just one last time?" Sokka begged, clasping his hands together.
"You guys go enjoy yourselves. You really don't want to hear me sing, anyway."
Before Aang took off, his eyes landed on Katara, and he seemed to hesitate for a fraction of a second. Then with a "Yip-yip!" and a flick of the reins, he was airborne and soon disappeared into the distance.
Then it hit Katara like a punch in the gut. Something about the way he had looked at her at the coronation, and again just now.
One last time, she realized with a sinking sensation. He was looking at me like that for one last time.
Katara and the others were gathered around Sokka, admiring—then poking fun at—his painting of their little group. It was their last night in Ba Sing Se, and all of them, including Zuko and his girlfriend Mai, were enjoying a quiet evening together at Iroh's tea shop, the Jasmine Dragon.
"Well, I think you all look perfect," Toph said, and everyone laughed.
Katara laughed along. Although she sometimes clashed with the opinionated earthbender, she had to admit that Toph's sense of humor was spot-on.
But not everyone was gathered around Sokka and his painting. Out of the corner of her eye, Katara saw Aang get up from where he sat on the floor and walk outside, affectionately patting Appa's nose before going down the steps to the courtyard in front of the tea house.
Katara watched him go with a twinge of sadness. Why doesn't he join us? she wondered. Perhaps he felt out of place, as the Avatar and the last airbender, living in a world and in an era that were not his own. She suspected he must have often felt that way in their travels, but there had been too much going on for him to dwell on it. But now that the war was over, perhaps he could finally slow down and deal with the emotions that had been brewing below the surface. Katara knew that she certainly had.
She followed Aang outside and found him standing at the railing of the courtyard, gazing out over the city. The setting sun painted the horizon in soft oranges and purples, bathing the rooftops of Ba Sing Se in its golden glow.
"It's beautiful, isn't it?" she said as she joined him at the railing.
"Yeah."
"There's finally peace in the world. And it's all because of you, Aang."
But Aang shook his head. "I did my part, but none of this would have been possible if it wasn't for Team Avatar and the White Lotus."
"Team Avatar," Katara said, chuckling. "Sokka certainly has a knack for catchy names."
Then she turned toward him and said softly, "We still are a team, aren't we?"
He didn't reply. Maybe he didn't hear what I said. Regardless, there was nothing to do but to forge ahead. She might not get another chance to talk to him alone like this for a while. Taking a deep breath, she said, "Aang, I want you to know—"
"Katara, it's okay," Aang said, interrupting her in mid-sentence.
"What do you mean?"
"I've thought a lot about what we talked about on the airship last week," he said, still looking out over the city. "We can be friends. It's probably best that way. And I'm okay with that."
A jolt went through Katara like an electric shock. No…he didn't just say that. He can't mean that.
Her eyes searched his face. Even though he wasn't looking at her, she could tell that he kept his expression carefully neutral.
He's closing himself off to me. This can't be happening.
Katara balled her hands into fists, her fingers trembling. I need to fix this. I need to bring him back. But how?
He's always been so open and trusting with me. But I've hurt him too many times.
Open and trusting…the opposite of what she had been, when it came to her feelings for him.
Katara knew what she had to do.
"Aang…I know I haven't been straight with you, ever since we kissed on the submarine," she said. "I was confused, and I didn't want to talk about it with you. But I really should have. So I guess…that's why I'm talking about it now.
"I've had feelings for you for a while. I think it all started after we kissed in the cave of lovers, on the way to Omashu. Maybe even before that, when we were still trying to figure out how to get to the Northern Water Tribe. I wasn't aware of it, though. Not really. It just…crept up on me, I guess.
"But when Azula shot you with lightning, everything changed. That's when it became clear that I felt something for you—something very strong—but I didn't know what to call it. All I knew was that you were one of the important people in my life. And that I couldn't stand to lose you again."
Katara sneaked a glance at Aang, who now looked thoughtful. That gave her the courage to go on. "After you kissed me during the invasion—after we both kissed—that's when we stopped being just friends. I'll admit that I didn't want things between us, our friendship, to change. Not yet. I was so worried about whether or not we would win the war. I was afraid I would lose everyone I loved, especially you. That was all I could focus on at the time.
"But when you disappeared from Ember Island, that's when I finally understood how I felt about you. We didn't know where you were, and I thought I had lost you again, this time for good. That's why I kissed you on the airship. I didn't know if I would get a second chance."
Katara took a deep breath. This was the part where she had to be completely open with Aang. It scared her, made her feel incredibly exposed. But she had to do it. "Looking back, I shouldn't have kis—it wasn't fair of me to kiss you. I just did it, because…because I was only thinking about showing you how I feel. Because the war was over, and I thought everything was going to be okay.
"But I wasn't okay. I was afraid of getting too close to you, because losing you again would hurt so much more if I did. But when I saw you standing next to Zuko at his coronation, that's when I saw it. I saw you, Aang. I saw the Avatar. When you faced Ozai, I thought I was going to lose you, even if you won. But I didn't lose you. The world tried to change you, but it couldn't. You changed the world, instead.
"That's when I stopped being afraid, Aang. When you say you'll come back, I believe you. I'm not afraid of getting close to you anymore. I'm not afraid to be with you. I'm ready…I'm ready for us to be together."
Katara turned to Aang, holding her breath as she waited for his reaction. He was quiet and seemed to be studying the stone railing.
A few long moments passed. Then he said, "Katara, I know you meant what you said just now. But you've changed your mind so many times. I don't know what to think."
Katara grew cold. He doesn't believe me.
"I know you don't trust me right now," she said, her voice quivering as she tried to fight back tears. "I don't blame you, after everything that's happened between us."
But she couldn't stop the tears from flowing down her face. "I understand if you don't want to be with me just yet. And maybe you never will. I know I've hurt you with some of the things I did and said, and I'm so sorry. I never meant to hurt you, but that doesn't change the fact that I did."
Aang had given so much of himself, had been so patient with her while she struggled to come to terms with her own emotions. But she had pushed him to his limit, she realized. Her dearest friend was hurting because of her, and that was more than she could bear. So Katara came to a decision.
"I want to be with you, Aang. But I don't want to be the reason why you keep getting hurt. So if you think we're better off as friends, then I'm okay with that. I'll do whatever you think is right. In the end, I only want what's best for you, no matter what it means for me. Because…because…"
Just say it.
"Because I love you, Aang."
Katara closed her eyes. She had laid her soul bare, and all she wanted to do was shrink into the ground and disappear. Now she understood how Aang must have felt every time he put himself out there to show her how much he loved her. It was ironic—and perhaps only fair—that their positions were now reversed, and that she was the one who was at risk of being rejected. But she loved him, and she didn't want to hurt him again, even unintentionally. She would wait until he was ready, if he ever was—
Aang's fingers brushed her fingertips, and Katara's heart missed a beat. Not quite believing that he had forgiven her, that he was opening himself up to her, she hesitated, then slipped her hand into his. To her relief—and delight—he responded by twining their fingers together. When she opened her eyes, she found him gazing at her, just as warm and open as ever before.
Katara dried her tears on the sleeve of her robe. Reaching for his shoulder, she pulled him into a hug. She nestled her cheek against his neck. "I've missed you," she whispered, even though they had seen each other almost every day since the end of the war. But she knew he would understand what she meant.
"I've missed you, too," he said.
As they held each other, Katara realized that this was their true reunion—the sharing of the same understanding, the healing of their friendship. The fears, the walls, the confusion—those were all gone. With their arms around each other, they were close again not only in body, but in spirit and in their hearts also.
Eventually, they stepped apart. Still holding Aang's hand, she watched as the sun slowly sank toward the horizon. In the soft light of the setting sun, the city of Ba Sing Se on the outside looked as serene as she felt on the inside.
Katara turned to face Aang, and in his smile she saw his unwavering love for her, as well as a peace that hadn't been there before. This was how it should be—both of them at peace with themselves, and with each other.
She reached out and gently held his face between her hands. How close they had come to letting each other slip away made their love—and Aang himself—even more precious. She kissed him, soft and tender at first. Then Aang leaned into the kiss with a warmth that made her heart soar. As their kiss deepened, as they embraced each other, the fears that had held Katara back melted away, and she completely opened up her heart.
For the first time, they kissed without confusion or uncertainty. They kissed each other without holding back, fully knowing that their love would be returned. And for the first time, it felt right.
The End
Author's note: A big THANK YOU to all my readers for making it all the way to the end! If you enjoyed this story, please check out the epilogue, The Beginning.
I also need to give credit where it's due. Several scenes in this story were inspired by fanart by the amazing PöttyösPanna. You can find her art and follow her on Instagram under the username pottyospanna_art.