A/N: To me, the song Hostage by Billie Eilish has felt like Thea and Damon's song from the get-go. When they shared that special moment, and she sang to him for the first time, it was the refrain of the song that I imagined her singing. So it just made sense to include it in this interlude, as the song she'd written for him.
Obviously, the song does not belong to me, but Billie. I may be able to write stories, but songs and music are so far out of my league, they may as well be Siberia.
"I see you everywhere, in the stars, in the river, to me you're everything that exists, the reality of everything." - Virginia Woolf
12.1 Interlude (hostage) :
She was shaken awake when she felt his arms wrap around her, her back against his chest, his face pressed into the crook of her neck.
Burrowing deeper into his embrace, she tried to remain still, to quiet the storm of emotions raging inside of her. She didn't want to rush him, to push him beyond his limits. He would speak if he wanted to.
She felt guilty, so guilty for the anger and worry she'd caused him. For creating a barrier that had otherwise never been present between them through her actions. His anger had never persisted for this long. She hadn't experienced it from him before, in fact, she was the one who'd held onto her anger in the beginning, to distance herself, to keep her heart safe.
What a joke that had been.
"I love you too," he whispered into her skin, holding onto her tighter, before continuing, "I love you too, and I forgive you. I was just scared Thea. I came home in a panic because I felt someone tearing into my neck, and I knew you'd been hurt, only to find Elena kneeling next your body. And you weren't moving."
She turned to him slowly, raising her eyes to his, watching the pain that filtered into his icy gaze. "I pushed Elena out once I noticed that Rose was hallucinating. I knew I'd heal, but she's human and she would have died. I just didn't expect to be so tired, and for her to be so strong. She pushed straight through my barrier, and bit me. I couldn't really do much after that. And she was already in so much pain, I just didn't want to add to it." She whispered back.
"If we weren't connected. If I hadn't known for a fact that your were alright, I would have thought you'd died. For a single second, I did. And nothing has hurt more than that. Nothing in my entire life, could compare to what I felt for that single moment where I thought you were gone."
She closed her eyes in regret, feeling a fresh onslaught of tears in them, as she breathed out a shaky "I'm so sorry Damon."
"I know," he murmured, pressing his forehead against her own. "I know you're sorry. And I'm sorry too. I'm sorry I pushed you away, I just didn't want to say anything I may regret later."
"You have nothing to be sorry for. I knew you were angry, that's why I wanted to give you time to cool down, and think everything through. I didn't want to push you or make you feel like you had to forgive me."
"But I do anyway. I did the moment I saw you were up, it just took me a bit to realise it." He chuckled softly, before hooking a finger under her chin, and raising her face slightly. "I need to kiss you now Angel. Is that okay?"
Keeping his eyes on hers, her waited until she breathed out a quiet, "please." Before he laid his lips over hers in a tender kiss, allowing their bond to thrum between them, vibrating with love and adoration.
—
She surprisingly, woke up much earlier than she'd anticipated. The sky was still dark, dawn having just broken. Tilting her head, she smiled at her bonded's relaxed features, and the small smile that placed on his lips.
Thea knew what had woken her up. It was a feeling she hadn't had in three years, since Andromeda had died.
She had music in her head, and she knew it would not leave her alone, until she performed the act of catharsis, and exorcised out of her head by playing.
Slithering softly from beneath the sheets, she quietly padded through the room, shutting the door behind her noiselessly. She made her way to her living room, reaching a hand beneath her couch and pulling out a black guitar case, one that had clearly seen the strain of time. Its leather was cracked and splintered in places, with random doodles and faded stickers on every available surface. But it was the first one she'd bought herself when she was 9, and she loved it dearly. Opening it slowly, she allowed her eyes to roam over the guitar she hadn't touched in three years. The last gift she'd received from her dad.
It was a vintage Gibson, from 1951. She probably would have refused to take it had her father brought it, but apparently it had belonged to her grandfather, and was simply waiting for another musician to become its owner. And she loved it. She'd cared for that guitar like one would a child, or a pet. Cleaning it daily, and ensuring that it's sound and acoustics were always top-notch.
But that was before. Before tragedy had struck, and music brought her more pain than joy. Before she'd lost her creativity and her voice.
It was strange, she thought as she pulled it out slowly, running her hands over the varnished wood, that finding Damon and moving to Mystic Falls was what brought the music back into her head. She supposed that maybe it was because she no longer felt alone, isolated in the world. She had people who loved her and who she loved back again.
Strumming the cords softly, so as to not make too much noise, she was surprised to find that they only needed some minor tuning, that they'd maintained their sound. She smiled, her dad would have told her that this was a sign, that the music had not left, but simply been waiting, ready for her to feel brave enough to return.
Tuning her chords, she closed her eyes and began strumming softly, allowing the melody in her head to become reality, before opening her mouth and signing slowly, hesitantly.
I wanna be alone
Alone with you, does that make sense?
I wanna steal your soul, and hide you in my treasure chest.
I don't know what to do, to do with your kiss on my neck
I don't know what feels true
But this feels right dos stay a sec, yeah you feel right so stay a sec
Let me crawl inside your veins
I'll build a wall give you a ball and chain
Its nit like me to be so mean you're all I wanted
Just let me hold you
Like a hostage
Gold on your fingertips
Fingertips against my cheek
Gold leaf will cross your lips
Kiss me until I can't speak
Gold chain beneath your shirt
The shirt that you let m wear home
Gold's fake and real love hurts
But nothing hurts when I'm alone
When you're with me and we're alone.
Let me crawl inside your veins
I'll build a wall give you a ball and chain
Its not like me to be so mean you're all I wanted
Just let me hold you
Hold you
Like a hostage
Like a hostage.
She jumped out of her seat when she heard clapping coming from behind her, and turning around, blushed a wild red at seeing Damon leaning against the doorway, a wide smile on his lips.
"How long have you been standing there?" She muttered, eyes dropping to her guitar, fingers fidgeting nervously with the strings.
"Since you started. I woke up with you, just wanted to lay in bed for a bit." He replied, walking towards the couch and taking a seat right next to her. She felt his hand grab onto her guitar, pulling it away from her and placing it on the table, but she kept her gaze downwards.
She was too embarrassed, too nervous that he'd caught her like that, singing the song he knew she'd written for him. About him.
He cradled her cheeks softly, raising her eyes to his, "Was that my song?" He questioned, a small grin on his face.
The girl groaned, rolling her eyes and averting her gaze from his, "yes it was you dick. You know it was."
"I was just asking Angel." He replied, before his voice dropped, and tone become softer, more loving, "You play beautifully, and before you interrupt me with a comment, just take the compliment and run with it."
Thea giggled slightly, raising her eyes to his, "I'm a little miffed you heard all of it actually. I was thinking of recording it and giving it to you on your birthday."
"DO you even know when my birthday is?" He asked, raising a single brow.
The girl tilted her head, smirking smugly at him, "Not all of us wait until the last second to find out vital information about our loved ones Ace. I asked Stefan ages ago. It's June 18th."
He chuckled, humming softly, "Guess I dropped the ball on that one then." He mumbled, before laying his forehead on hers, "Doesn't matter. I love it regardless. Hearing you sing, and play for me? Nothing could ever beat that."
"Because of you." She said.
"What?"
"I wasn't playing for you, I was playing because of you. I think I stopped when they all died because all it did was remind me that I couldn't keep anything I loved, so music was probably going to go too. But you showed me that I can, and you gave me your love without asking for anything back. You made me feel safe again. And that's when I allowed myself to go back to the other thing I loved the most." She explained softly, nudging her nose against his.
She felt more than heard his sharp inhale, and the deep wave of love and humbleness that flowed through their bond, before his lips landed on hers.
I love you. His voice whispered across her mind, and she knew, she knew they would be perfectly alright.