Moxxie had just come back to the office after taking out the garbage. A task that should have been simple, if it weren't for the contents of the bag being filled with certain fluids that made him gag from the smell of it, having to carry it to the garbage cans in the back of the building. He was starting to think Blitz was fucking with him by filling the trash bags with the grossest shit he could.
"Just once, I would like a trash day where no one has used the cans as their own personal bathroom." Moxxie complained to himself. The I.M.P office had its own bathroom, but it was so worn out and trashy that it made gas station bathrooms look luxurious. Still, it was functional. Moxxie was on his way there to wash his hands of the remains of whatever was in those trash bags when all of the sudden he heard a loud sound that jolted him straight.
BANG! CRASH!
The sound was coming from the meeting room and kept ongoing. It was as if someone was smashing something in there. Moxxie had deduced that this person was either another 'eccentric' client or a robber.
He really, really hoped it would be the latter.
As he opened the door to the meeting room and looked to his left he saw that it was neither. It was Millie, smashing the remains of what looked like a printer with a war hammer over and over again on the table, making angry grunts as she did. Her loud smashes, as well as her focus on the destruction of the remains, prevented her from noticing Moxxie come in.
"M...Millie?" He said with concern in his voice. Millie was able to hear his voice and snap out of whatever frenzy she was in. She looked at Moxxie with surprise as she stopped herself from hitting the remains with the hammer again.
"I...I'm so sorry if I startled you, sweetie." Millie said regretfully. "It's just that this fucking printer ain't copying any of the damn files I want it to and it's really pissing me off!" She then continued smashing the remains of the printer.
Moxxie approached her to calm her down, but as he did she dropped the hammer and started to rest her head on the side of the table crying. Moxxie tried to comfort her by rubbing her shoulders. "Darling, you're usually not this emotional. Is something wrong?" Moxxie said, again, with concern in his voice.
Millie raised her head up, tears in her eyes. "I don't know, Moxxie. Things that normally would just annoy me piss me off to no fucking end. I've been crying more and..." at this point, she started to look at Moxxie with lust in her eyes, "...and I've also been getting really horny." Millie immediately grabbed and pushed Moxxie on the table before mounting on top of him. Her face then got as close to his as possible.
"I wanna fuck you. Right here, right now." She said in a lustful tone.
"Oh...ok." Moxxie was confused but he was happy to help relieve his wife of any sexual tension she was having. They began to aggressively french kiss as they helped take each other's clothes off. As they were undressing and tongue fucking they heard the creak of the door near them. They turned to the source of the sound and saw their boss, Blitz, at the open doorway, eyes wide open in surprise. He slowly closed the door just enough so he could peek through the crack in the doorway.
"Keep going," Blitz said as he motioned them to continue with their sexcapade.
Two weeks passed and Millie's condition hadn't improved. She was able to let all of her extreme emotions out on jobs, but in the office and at home she was unpredictable. One day she smashed her office phone in frustration when a bunch of dumbasses decided to do a prank call. The other day she threw her and Moxxie's TV out of their window when it was having technical problems she didn't understand. Blitz eventually called a meeting to help figure out what was wrong with her.
"Ok, I think we all know why we're here," he said before looking at Millie, "Millie, these past couple of weeks you've been...what's the word?"
"Psycho," Loona said browsing her phone.
"Yes, exactly. You've been acting like a sex-crazed/angry psycho bitch recently," said Blitz, "and it's costing us our office supplies."
Millie sighed, "I'm so sorry," she said as Moxxie was petting her back to comfort her. "I don't know what's wrong with me. I've been having these emotional highs and lows and it ends with me wanting to fuck someone's dick off."
"No kidding," Loona interjected, lowering her phone to look at Millie. "You and Mox have been fucking not just in here, but on my desk, in the bathroom which...how? You've fucked in the van, and you've even fucked right in front of our building where everyone could see!"
Moxxie eventually intervened, "That...actually wasn't as bad as I thought it would be."
"Hey, at least it gave us free publicity," Blitz said to Loona before looking back at Millie. "Look, I'm not against you fucking in the office. In fact, just the other day Stolas and I banged on the chair of a certain white-haired imp."
"OH, WHAT THE FUCK!?" Moxxie shouted as he got up and pushed his chair away in disgust.
"And I'm even not against you occasionally breaking shit." Blitz continued, "Hell, this cellphone I have right here is the 4th phone replacement this month. But the shit you keep breaking is cutting into our budget to replace them, and we can't have that. This is why it's my professional opinion as your boss for you to go visit a doctor. And before you go blowing your entire salary at a hospital, I'll just recommend someone who's just as good."
Blitz handed Millie a booklet. On it was the picture of what looked like a short demon woman with a brown robe and hood, wearing a skull mask that covered the upper half of her face looking at them. She could see long strands of white hair come out from each side of her hood. On top of it were the massive words Witch Doctor Martha! On the sides of the booklet cover were statements like "Guaranteed curing of demonic illnesses or your corpse back!" and "Don't ask how I got my techniques and tools...seriously, don't."
"She owes me a favor, so I'll call and see if she'll give you a freebie." said Blitz.
Moxxie looked at him with a smile as well as amazement. "W-wow, Blitz. Thank you."
Blitz brushed it off, "Yeah, sure whatever. Moxxie, make sure you clean up all the cum stains you and your wife left behind." Moxxie's face immediately went from happiness to annoyance. "Kidding, kidding!" Blitz said. Ever since he tripped balls back in the D.H.O.R.K.S base he'd been trying to become a slightly better demon. It was still fun to dick with Mox though.
The next day Millie and Moxxie went to visit this witch doctor. Her building looked like a medical clinic but about the size of a park public bathroom. As they entered they saw various charms and skulls decorated across the walls, and in the middle of the dark room was a figure behind a cauldron holding a staff in their left hand. "Hello there, lost creatures of hell." the figure said in an ominous voice. As Millie and Moxxie got closer they recognized the figure as the witch doctor from the booklet. "You must be the imps I had foreseen coming, the damned waters of the cauldron know all."
"Um...not to ruin your whole performance..." said Moxxie, "...but Blitz said you owed him and that he would call you about us." The witch looked at him with an annoyed expression.
"Fucking buzzkill," Martha said, this time with the voice of an annoyed old lady instead of a mystic one. She then turned on the lights before approaching the couple.
"Yeah, Blitz called me and mentioned you two."
"How did you end up being indebted to him?" Moxxie asked. "I mean, it's Blitz we're talking about here. I just don't see him going out of his way for anyone but himself...at least in the past."
"He helped me procure things I needed to open up my business, but I cannot elaborate further. That falls under don't ask about my methods."
Martha approached Millie. "So, you're the one that's having problems? Extreme Mood swings? Constant Fucking?"
"Yes," Millie replied.
The doctor thought for a bit. "Hm, I think I might know what's happening."
"You do?" Millie responded.
"I can't be certain, I need to confirm something. Did you bring the sample?"
Millie nodded and gave the doctor her urine in a cup, the only thing that the booklet said to bring. "Fantastic," Martha said before eagerly drinking some of the piss from the cup with a loud slurp. "Ahhhhh, good shit."
"Not that I question your...tastes," Moxxie said with disturbance. "But can we please get back to figuring out what's wrong with Millie?"
"There's nothing wrong with her…" The doctor replied, "...she's just pregnant."
"WHAT!?" Millie shouted.
"Oh thank Satan, I was so worried about...WAIT, PREGNANT!?" Moxxie eventually processed.
Martha nodded, "And from the taste of it…" She then began to take a sip from the cup, tasting the piss like a wine expert determining what wine they're drinking. "...twins."
"Excuse me for one second," Moxxie said exhaustingly as he walked outside of the clinic. He could be heard screaming outside. "WOOOOOOOOOO! YES! FUCK YES! Oh, calling me a limp dick huh!? Well, this limp dick managed to get two in there baby! HELL YES!" He then came back inside, appearing calmer as he cleared his throat. "I'm sorry, I had to let that out."
"Ok, now that that's out of the way, let's talk about how to fix your office mood," Martha said, handing Millie a booklet titled Breathing and Shit. "In there are breathing techniques and other exercises you can do to stop yourself from snapping your phone in half when you answer a spam caller." She then handed her a bowl of what looked like white soup with leaves in it. "And make sure to eat my special concoction soup once a week. It helps with the other mood swings. I'll send you one at the beginning of every week for free, just don't ask what's in the soup. Also, one last thing, Moxxie was it? Make sure you fuck her or at the very least make her cum at home every two days if you actually mind banging in public. Congratulations!"
Millie and Moxxie broke the news to the rest of I.M.P the next day at the office. Blitz was ecstatic, while Loona was mildly annoyed. "Great," She thought to herself sarcastically, browsing her phone. "We'll be having two little Moxxies running around." Blitz put an arm around each of the lucky couple.
"Congratulations! I almost couldn't be any prouder of you two!" said Blitz. "Especially you Moxxie. Who knew that little dick of yours would get a result like this?" Moxxie tried his best not to let his insult ruin the moment.
Blitz took his arm off Millie while keeping an arm around Moxxie. "So Mox, you hope that your kids follow in your footsteps as a murdering badass?"
Moxxie thought for a bit before replying. "While I would love to teach them what I know, I don't necessarily want them to be like me. I have high hopes for them! They could be the right and left hand to Lucifer himself, or the CEO of their own company! But the thing I want them the most to be...is happy with their life. Whatever path brings them the most self-fulfillment, I want to love and support them on that."
Even Millie was surprised by his answer. The amount of confidence he had in it was one of the many, many things that reminded her why she loved him. If only she had that same amount of confidence right now.
It was late in the day and Moxxie was asleep in their bed. Meanwhile, Millie, unable to sleep, sat down on a chair next to their window, looking out into the city lost in thought. At first, she was excited about her pregnancy, but that excitement turned into uncertainty. "Would they be good enough parents?" Millie would think to herself. Normally, she was the confident one while Moxxie was the unsure one. But in this situation, the roles were reversed. Moxxie seemed to brim with confidence about their children, while Millie was unsure about how it would work. She had the idea to call her parents, hoping that they would give her some words of encouragement. So she dialed them up.
"Hey, Millie!" Her mom answered.
"Hey, Ma," Millie replied, "How are things at the farm?"
"Oh, wonderful! We just got a new hand! He ain't as good as Striker, but at least he ain't gonna break your bones if he knows what's good for him. Anyway, what makes you call us this late? Are you finally homesick?"
"No Ma, I just wanted to let you know that...I'm pregnant."
"WHAT!?" Ma shouted, "Hey Joe! Get in here!"
"What is it, darlin'?" Millie heard her Pa in the background of the call.
"Millie's fuckin' pregnant!" Ma shouted.
"SHE'S WHAT!?" Pa shouted back, "...Oh Satan, that's...that's so great. I underestimated that man." Mille swore she could hear Pa crying.
"That's fantastic news sweetie!" Ma said, "I'm so proud of you and even Moxxie. We need more strong demons in this family." Millie sighed, disappointed in Ma's statement.
"Anyway Ma, that's all I wanted to say. I gotta get to bed."
"Alright, We'll come over and visit soon! Love you!"
"Love you too," Millie said before hanging up.
Well, that didn't help much. As if her uncertainty wasn't bad enough, now she had expectations to uphold.
The next day the I.M.P crew came back to the office from a job. They had to kill a cheating husband who drove their client, the cheater's wife, to suicide. The job went well, but Moxxie noticed something was off about Millie. When she split the cheater's head open with her battle axe, she didn't have her usual face of murder joy. He knew something was on her mind.
"I'm gonna go on my break now." She said as the portal closed behind them, walking out of the office and putting her bloody axe on the side of the exit doorway, the blood from the husband dripping on the floor.
"Oh yea, just leave the bloody axe there and let the blood get everywhere on the floor," Blitz said sarcastically, "you're very considerate!"
"I'm going on my break as well," Moxxie said, deciding to follow her.
Blitz was getting extremely annoyed. "Oh ok sure, just leave this mess to me and Loona! I'm sure glad I have such thoughtful employees!" Moxxie didn't listen to Blitz's bitching, his main focus was his wife. He eventually found her on the rooftop, sitting on the side of it looking gloomy.
"Millie," he said, getting her attention. "Is something the matter? You weren't your sweet, joyful self on that hit."
Millie sighed, "You noticed that, huh? I'm...I'm just so conflicted right now. I'm happy that we're about to have babies, but if I'm gonna be completely honest...I'm terrified. I have all these expectations of what kind of parent I want to be, but what if I fuck up? What if our kids end up hating me, or us? What if they do something incredibly stupid? What if everyone ended up hating our kids or hating how we raised them? I just...I just wish I had your confidence hun'."
"Sweetie," Moxxie finally spoke, "I didn't know this was bothering you that much. Why didn't you tell me?"
"I...I don't know. I guess I thought I could handle these feelings myself, plus you seemed so happy and I didn't want to ruin that."
"Millie, listen, I'm terrified as well."
Moxxie's statement surprised Millie. "What? But you seemed so confident when you made that whole spiel to Blitz."
"You mean you didn't notice? Thank Satan, because deep down I'm scared too." He said as he approached Millie. "The thoughts that went through my head are the same ones you're thinking right now."
"But, how are those not keeping you up at night?" She said.
"Well, remember the time when I got kidnapped by those humans in suits?" Millie Noded, "When I was in there they drugged me and Blitz with truth gas. While I was tripping balls under it, I learned some things about myself, mainly that I cared too much about what other people thought. Ever since I've been trying to stop caring." Moxxie reached out and grabbed Millie's hands as well as put his face close to hers.
"Right now, the only people I need approval from are me and you. And I'm sure that, as long as we give our children love and support in their time of need, they will love us."
Millie started to rub tears away. "That's so sweet...but my Ma and Pa, they…"
"Fuck your parents, fuck Blitz, fuck the entirety of hell! What do you want Millie?"
The tears started to come down harder from her, "I want the same thing you want Mox. I want them to be happy and to love us as much as we love them."
Moxxie smiled, tears swelling up in his eyes as well. "Then that's all that matters. And I have a good feeling that as long as we're in this together, we can make it happen."
"Oh Moxxie," Millie said, "you have such a way with words."
"Thank you," Moxxie then turned his head away from Millie, "At least somebody recognizes my silver tongue!" He shouted behind him.
"Eat a dick!" Loona shouted back from inside the building.
Millie pulled his head back towards her and kissed him on the lips before embracing him in a hug. "Let's just stay like this for the last minutes of our break," Millie said peacefully.
"I wouldn't think of a better way to spend it," Moxxie said as he embraced her back. Millie still had some concerns, but no matter what happened next, they would go through it together like they always had. Millie decided to never take that for granted.
"I love this imp." she thought to herself.