Dreams came rarely for Elsa, something she remembered only a few times a year. And even then she rarely remembered all of the details, the memories coming to her like a foggy haze; a woman's voice singing quietly, the feel of hands in her hair and eyes like amber gold.
It was those eyes she remembered most clearly. They didn't belong to her mother and certainly not her sister, but Elsa knew this woman. Knew her as though she'd belonged with her for a lifetime. Elsa knew those amber eyes even better than herself. It just felt like she was missing some kind of intangible thing that was complimentary to her. It sounded crazy, but she felt it all the same.
Elsa tried not to think about it, content to go through her life alone. Not entirely alone, she had Anna and Kristoff and their friends of course, but still. She watched what her sister had and thought that she wouldn't mind it.
"Are you sure you don't want to come with us?" Anna asked, sweeping by the kitchen table where Elsa sat with her coffee. Speaking of her sister...
"Are you kidding?" Elsa looked up at her, "It's Valentine's Day, I'll just be a third wheel."
"You're never a third wheel."
Elsa laughed, "Most of the time I'm a third wheel."
Anna pursed her lips, then tilted her head and gave Elsa a little nod, "Okay, true facts except that we love hanging out with you? But you shouldn't stay home. Try going out somewhere. Who knows, maybe you'll meet someone." She came up behind Elsa, wrapping her arms around her and nuzzling the top of her head, "Maybe you'll meet the one. This mysterious girl with eyes like gold you keep telling me about. I've read enough fanfiction to know this is totally a soulmates thing."
Elsa sighed. She'd promised to let Anna in, but sometimes she had regrets, "I refuse to let my life be dictated by a silly recurring dream. And soulmates don't exist."
"And when was the last time you went on a date?" Anna poked her cheek, "If you weren't holding out for Ms. Mysterious you'd put yourself out there more."
"Uh."
"Exactly." Anna kissed the top of Elsa's head then straightened, "Just promise me you'll go out somewhere? Just to get out of the house. Take a drive down to the lake, have a nice hike or something. You need air."
"Yeah, I'll definitely meet the girl of my dreams out in the middle of nowhere," Elsa retorted.
"You know what I mean! Now promise!"
Knowing it was useless to argue, Elsa nodded, "I promise. I'll take a walk somewhere. It might do me some good."
"And bundle up!" Anna checked her phone, then grabbed her purse and her coat as she rushed for the door, "It's really cold out!"
"You know damn well the cold doesn't bother me!" Elsa called out, ducking when Anna threw a hat at her. She stuck her tongue out.
"That's because you cheat." The door closed behind Anna, leaving her alone in their house, her only company her thoughts and the sound of her rats playing in their cage in the other room. Getting to her feet, Elsa walked into the living room, opening the cage and letting her girls climb up her arms and snuggle on her shoulders and in her hair, "What do you think, ladies?"
They were nearly identical albinos, except Elsa had learned to tell the difference between their distinctive sounds, as well as Cass having the cutest little spot on one ear. It was Cass that answered her with a chittering squeak as she started to wash herself, licking her arms and rubbing them over her head not unlike a cat.
"You're right, I shouldn't stay home."
Cass squeaked again.
"You think so?" Elsa reached up to stop the other Rat as she tried to climb down inside her shirt, "Okay that's enough for you." Gently, she returned her to the cage then plucked Cass off of her shoulder and nuzzled her belly with her nose before putting her in her home too.
After making sure their water was clean and they had some treats, Elsa grabbed her jacket and stepped outside. It was overcast, the clouds heavy with unfallen snow. She waggled her finger at the sky in warning as she made her way to her car.
It was her pride and joy, something she and Anna had worked on together, finding the parts they needed and fixing the engine. It was through this vehicle that she and her sister had reconnected from years of estrainment; she'd in fact met Anna again while at the junkyard digging through an old wreck for parts. So while it was 'her' car it was also Anna's in a way, and extra special to her for just that reason.
The '69 Cobra Hardtop has been a lot of work, but it had so been worth it.
She ran her hand along the hood before getting in behind the wheel and starting the car. The engine roared to life, and she closed her eyes for a moment to enjoy the feel of it before pulling out. Elsa liked driving, she liked the calmness of the road and the rumble of the Cobra's engine. It hugged the road and made her feel like she was part of some experience that she lacked the words to describe. Another one of those intangible things. Maybe this was what it felt like to ride a horse?
Elsa drove for perhaps an hour, listening to love songs on the radio as the sky grew darker and more ominous with an approaching storm. She thought that her sister and Kristoff were probably finishing dinner by now and Anna had mentioned something about a hotel. It meant that Anna had invited her along to be polite and knowing that Elsa would have had no intention of sticking around after dinner. But it also meant Elsa would be alone the rest of the night and probably tomorrow, too. That was … fine.
All their other friends were out of town, and normally Elsa would be okay with that. She enjoyed time alone, but for reasons she couldn't quite pin down Anna's words had stuck with her. It was why she'd gotten out, even if she was going no place in particular.
The radio cut out and for several seconds it was completely silent. Elsa reached over to jiggle the dial when a voice came through the speakers. A woman's voice, singing a hauntingly familiar melody. Then as suddenly as it had happened, the radio returned to the normal station, even though Elsa's blood had run cold and she felt like she was losing her mind. That voice she'd heard in her dreams, and she had the sudden vivid clarity of golden eyes and brown skin and the taste of —
Elsa suddenly spun the wheel, taking a turn off so quickly that the car fishtailed. But she recovered and bounced along a dirt road, pulled by some power or force she didn't understand. She only knew she was on the cusp of finally understanding her recurring dream and what it could mean.
The road went on for miles and miles, looping around in several places until Elsa started to feel a little lost. The shadows grew long as evening approached and yet, compelled, Elsa continued to drive. She turned on her headlights, the trees menacing, tires crunching on the snow but her driving as sure as she herself would be on ice. The road narrowed the further she drove, until she was barely squeezing through the trees on either side. The radio turned to static, so she flipped it off. That left just the silence and the crunch of her tires.
It wasn't entirely dark, even with the sky overcast. The city was to the north, the lights shining on the clouds and casting them in a faint orange hue. But that was the only light besides her car and even that disappeared behind her as the road turned to the south and the trees obscured what the mountains did not. Elsa's heart raced as she realized she'd have to back out if the road didn't widen or offer some kind of way to turn around.
"Keep going," Elsa said, thinking that talking to herself would help. "You're not afraid of the dark or some creepy trees and you've got nothing to fear from the snow and the cold."
Just a few years ago, she'd had everything to fear from the snow and the cold. But the past was in the past and if she was honest, it was the trees that were the most alarming part of this. Their branches stretched out over the road like skeletal fingers bleached white by snow, threatening to close down on top of her and trap her forever. But just as it started to feel like that was an inevitability, the road widened and then let out on the edge of frozen lake. The car lights showed a driveway that led to a cabin with a red pick-up parked alongside.
There was a warm glow coming from the window, and Elsa put the car into park as she stared at the cabin, realizing she'd just become every white woman protagonist in a horror movie. Ever.
But instead of doing the sensible thing, like using the driveway to turn around, Elsa cut the engine and got out of the car to meet Freddy Kruger or whoever (she wasn't into those movies the way Anna and their friend Raps were).
As she closed the door, snow fell onto the roof and into her hair, making it glimmer slightly in the light from the cabin. She jumped when the front porch light flicked on and the door opened.
A figure stepped outside, trim and fit with feminine curves. Elsa swallowed and called out, "Hello? I'm sorry, I kind of, got … turned around and actually I don't know what I'm doing here." She shut her mouth before she said anything crazy.
"Is that a Mustang?" The figure rushed down the front porch and approached Elsa with a confident stride. She appeared to be a woman with brown skin and wide features, and Elsa relaxed a little.
"Cobra," she clarified. "'69 hardtop model."
"Nice." The woman grinned, gingerly touching the hood with her hands, "It's gorgeous." Her eyes flicked up to Elsa's face and she could have sworn the woman whispered you're gorgeous but maybe she was just hearing things.
"My sister and I spent ages fixing it up. I wish we could take credit for the paint job, but that was a friend of ours." Elsa tucked some hair behind her ears, enjoying the way the snow was getting caught in the woman's hair. She felt out of sorts and yet strangely emboldened, "I'm Elsa."
"Came a long way to get lost," she replied, offering her hand as she stepped close. "I'm Honeymaren."
Elsa took her hand and found herself staring into amber eyes, gold reflecting in the warm light from the cabin. There was suddenly the scent of flowers in spring and Elsa saw firelight dancing on Honeymaren's face. From the depths of her memory she could hear the sound of creaking wood and feel the weight of Honeymaren's body pressing her into a hammock.
Unbidden, Elsa's voice lifted into a soft lullaby, "Dive down deep into her sound…"
Honeymaren's joined her in harmony, "But not too far, or you'll be drowned."
Everything spun around Elsa, engulfing her like a storm for several seconds as she struggled to understand what was happening. There was more, so much more rushing up from the hidden places inside her soul and she found herself gazing with wonderment at those beautiful amber eyes.
"I know you," Honeymaren breathed, sliding her hand up Elsa's arm before she cupped her cheek. "I'd recognize you anywhere, Elsa."
Needing to prop herself against her car, Elsa whispered, "Mare." The weight of a life in that word, that name, Honeymaren's face aging rapidly, her hair growing white, wrinkled hand held in Elsa's equally aged fingers. She blinked, and the vision was gone.
"Yeah." Honeymaren smiled, and Elsa's heart fluttered about in her chest.
Nothing about this made any sense what-so-ever, but Elsa suddenly understood that intangible missing thing was Honeymaren.
"And here I was expecting another lonely Valentine's Day," Maren said, eyes searching Elsa's. "Would you like to come in from the cold?"
Elsa smiled, chest fluttering still, "The cold doesn't really … actually I am a little chilly." Especially her lips, her lips were very cold all of a sudden and could use a little warming up. She flushed at the very thought, but it somehow felt like that wasn't the first time she'd ever had it.
Seeming to read her mind, Maren leaned in, their lips meeting and a jolt striking through Elsa at the kiss. It wasn't even just how nice the kiss was or the way it made her head spin; it was the familiarity, like coming home from a long day and settling in. Excited and yet still nervous, she took Maren's hands, "It feels like I'm dreaming again."
Maren laughed, guiding her towards the cabin, "I remember… snow. Lots and lots of snow."
As she walked into the inviting and familiar warmth of Maren's cabin, Elsa's eyes glittered like ice and she replied, "…yes. About that…"