The bleak morning sun of the late summer shone down on the training arena as Helia was preparing to train for the day. He had intended to talk to his father at breakfast but Azrael was nowhere to be found. A servant had told Helia that his father had been up late talking to Duncan the night before and if Helia knew one thing, it was that when his father had been up late with Duncan, nothing good would come out of the next morning. Not because his father would be in a bad mood, but that his father would yell at him for not being Duncan.
Helia knew that he had to talk to his father about the ball but his father would never agree to it. He would just yell at him and ask him why the Hell Helia thought that he needed a ball for his birthday when he was such a fucking disappointment. Maybe if Helia had presented the ball for another reason? To celebrate the arrival of the princess? To celebrate the eventual victory in Koria?
Instead, Helia decided to distract himself with training. His father seemed to be in a bit of a better mood when Helia was actively training. It allowed Helia to show off his skills and strength, all things that his father had admired in any person. However, when Helia had stepped into the arena, his thoughts went back to Perran and the discussion that he had with Saladin. What if he wasn't good enough for either his father or Flora? He hated himself for what he did to Perran, but he reveled in the brief adoration that his father had given him the night of.
But what felt better? The brief moment of acceptance from the person he had spent his whole life trying to please or the kindness of a woman who he had just met?
Helia's mind was brought to the night before and the look on Flora's face as he read to her. Nobody had ever enjoyed his books or being in his presence as much as Flora had last night. The cold kitchen felt warm and the tea the she made had been delicious. He remembered her gasps and sighs at the appropriate parts of the story and how her mouth turned up into a smile when the story ended. He would read to her every night just to see her smile, he would do anything.
Pulling his hair back, Helia shrugged off his outer layers and made his way out to the middle of the arena to begin his training. He raised his arms above his head and his joints cracked as he bent back. Helia lowered his arms and shook away any residual tightness in his arms, neck, and shoulders before he moved on to moving his legs to work out any tightness.
"Your Highness," one of the men in the arena turned to Helia and gave him a bow, "I was not expecting you this morning."
"No, I suppose not." Helia shrugged as he looked around, "But I am here and I am looking to train."
"Yes, Your Highness. Shall I prepare the swords, the bow and arrows, or shall I find you a sparring partner this morning?"
Helia was once again back to that late afternoon, the smell of blood filling his nose, the battered man, and Duncan's arm wrapped around Flora. Sparring was out of the question.
"No," Helia replied, "I think I will just run the obstacle course this morning."
"Very good, Your Highness. It has been a while since anyone has run the course."
The man had been right. Helia had been one of the only people who had utilized the obstacle course, finding it therapeutic to complete when he had a lot on his mind. The last time he ran it was before his coming of age ceremony years ago, before he would officially become the crown prince and he would begin to shoulder the weight of what it took to run a country. But that had been over five years ago. There would be the occasional soldier who would run the course but most thought the obstacle course to be a waste of time, choosing instead to focus on combat and strength training. But didn't a soldier also need to be agile in battle? No. As long as a man knew how to bludgeon the enemy to death, that was all King Azrael cared about. Helia was surprised that the course was still up.
Yes, he would run and do his best not to think about what his father might say to him when Helia would hold up his promise and ask for a ball. Not think about his impending marriage to a woman that he couldn't care less about, not think about the captain's arm around the woman he found himself caring more and more for as the days passed on. He had a lot he could think about and Helia wanted to think of nothing.
Helia approached the obstacle course and began to run. Climbing ropes, scaling walls, and dodging the attacks that came is way. But as he ran and climbed and dodged, all he could hear was her.
"Tonight will be a night that I will always remember and one that I will cherish for the rest of my life."
Helia kept running as her soft voice entered his ears. She didn't know what he had done just over a week ago. Would she have taken him up on his offer to read to her if she had seen what he had done? He had treated her so terribly for the past month and she still found a happy memory with him. How sad had her life been for him to be the cause of such happiness? He knew that her father was dead but she did not speak at all of her mother nor anyone else that might have been in her life. She seemed to care for the young princess, treating her like a daughter, or perhaps a younger sister, but for him, him, to bring her joy, how much was her love for the princess just blind obligation? Or was there something else.
No matter how hard he run and how hard he concentrated on the obstacle course, he still saw her. Saw her bright green eyes, her pink lips, the slope of her button nose, and worse, the times that he had interrupted her at night and the early morning when all she was wearing was that short robe. Soon Helia's thoughts turned to her long legs, desperate to see where they met at her wide hips. Images of her covered breasts in the sheer material of her gown filled his mind and Helia did his best to shake them away. But who could blame him? She was gorgeous and it drove him mad to know that he was not the only one who thought so.
However, images of Flora were replaced by the memory of her warm skin on his. What had possessed him to touch her in such an intimate manner the night before? The mere memory of the feel of her soft skin sent tingles coursing through his arm and he longed to touch her again. She also touched his arm with such tenderness as she would seek to comfort him. Why would she touch him so casually and why had she not backed away when he had touched her? But he suddenly remembered that she had not backed away when Duncan had wrapped his arm around her waist. Was she just trying to be polite in accepting his touch? Or did that moment not mean the same to her as it had to him? But Helia became slightly comforted when Flora's comment came flooding back to his mind.
"If it is any consolation, Your Highness, but I much rather prefer your company to the captain's. You are far more...pleasant."
Her words meant much more to him than a comment that could be thrown away. Nobody preferred him to Duncan, maybe save for his grandfather. His father had no qualms about reminding Helia that Duncan was far superior in every way. He was stronger, quicker, smarter, tougher, more handsome. But when Flora had told him that she had preferred him to the captain, even after everything he had done to cause her such grief, he felt warmth radiate through him, and at that moment, he had never felt more love.
Helia remembered, deep in the corners of his mind, the voice of his mother as she read to him at night. Her blue eyes gazing down at him and the soft embouchure of her voice, rivaled by only Flora's, telling him tales of love and the feeling that one gets when they know that they are in love. He remembered him telling tales of how she had felt the moment she had met his father and when she knew that she had found the love of her life.
"I knew that I loved your father and when I realized it, it had been the most glorious feeling in the world. But what they won't tell you is how much better it feels to be loved in return."
Was this what he was feeling for the handmaiden? The woman that he could not have? He couldn't love the poor servant girl, she wasn't his to have as he was promised to another. His mother told him of the marvelous feeling of being in love and being loved in return but she never told him how much it hurt when he knew that the person he loved could never love him in return. Why would someone as beautiful, both inside and out, love a sorry excuse for a prince and person like him?
Helia completed the course but he still had so much on his mind, so he ran it again. And again. And again. He would run until the thoughts of his father's scrutiny and the images of the arrogant captain were out of his head. He told Flora that he would talk to his father about a ball, and he needed to be prepared for the verbal lashing from his father that he would receive as a result of asking.
"Your Highness," a voice called out to Helia, stopping him in his tracks as he ran through the course. Helia jumped down from the climbing wall and ran over to the man who had called him.
"What?" Helia huffed in annoyance, he really didn't want to be interrupted because when he was interrupted, that meant that somebody had wanted him in a professional capacity. He really didn't want to think about being the prince, it was too stressful.
"His Majesty would like to speak to you, Your Highness."
His stomach dropped and he wanted to throw up. What did his father want? Whatever it was, history has shown that it was never good. Helia began to run through all of the things that he had done since the last time he talked with his father over a week ago. He had gone to all of his trainings, even leading set trainings with Duncan, attended his meetings...Was his father mad about his daily teas with Krystal? Had his father found out about his little arrangement with Flora?
Helia stilled his face and his blue eyes became steely as he regained his composure. He looked to the man who had called him and thanked him for passing on the message. Helia grabbed his outer layers and put them over his body. He took down his hair and ran his fingers hastily through his long locks as he marched towards the palace. Throwing his hair into his father's semi-approved style of a top knot, he walked into the cold palace and made his way to his father's study.
The large wooden door loomed over him as Helia stopped and stared. He looked up and took a deep breath before adjusting his clothes and raising a fist to knock.
"Get in here, boy!"
It was like his father knew it was him.
Helia swallowed the saliva that accumulated in his mouth and placed his hand on the metal handles of the door. With a swift move of his arms, Helia pushed open the door, walking inside where his father stood over a stack of papers and maps.
"You wanted to see me, sir?" Helia asked, placing his hands behind his back and standing up straight.
"You will be taking over the training of the new recruits at the end of the summer." Azrael stated bluntly, never removing his eyes from the papers below him.
"But doesn't-"
"Silence, boy!" Azrael's eyes shot up to glare at Helia, "Do not speak unless spoken to or have I taught you nothing?"
Helia silently nodded his head, focusing his eyes on nothing in front of him, daring not to look at his father.
Azrael brought his attention back to the documents on his desk as he continued to speak, "The captain will be joining the troops in Koria to destroy the rest of the Paladins and end this war once and for all. You will take over his duties and I trust you not to fuck it up, boy." Helia was silent. "He will leave at the beginning of fall, we will throw a ball in his honor at his request. I know that your little princess will be pleased to hear that."
Helia nodded his head, "I understand, sir. I will let her know and coordinate with the other training officers. Is there anything else that you need from me, sir."
"No, that will be all. Leave."
With a low bow, Hellia left his father's study, closing the large doors behind him. He rested his back against the hard wood and exhaled. Well, Krystal had gotten her ball but Helia wanted to scream. Of course when Duncan asked for a ball in his honor he had gotten one, but if Helia were to ask, he would have been yelled at by his father.
"What makes you think that you deserve anything, boy?"
Helia could hear his father's voice as clear as the waters of Andros. He thought that after twenty years that he would be used to it, but his father's words and his father's adoration of the captain never ceased to sting. His father had to know how his words affected him, but Helia learned a long time ago that his father did not care.
"Good morning, Your Highness."
A soft voice brought Helia out of his trance. He blinked and his attention was brought to Flora's beautiful smile and gem-like eyes that sparkled under the light of the lit sconces. She wore the same lavender gown that she had worn during the first dinner that she and the princess had at the dinner. At least he thought it was the same, he had been too inebriated that night to really remember specifics other than she had looked absolutely breathtaking.
"Are you alright, Your Highness?" Flora asked, her smile falling.
"Yes," Helia exhaled a shallow breath, "just...slightly winded from training."
Flora's smile returned to her face, "I hope that you did not exhaust yourself too much, Your Highness. I know that the princess looks forward to you joining her at tea and I..." Flora's cheeks developed a slight rosy tint as she brought her eyes down to avoid Helia's gaze, "I am looking forward to tonight's story."
Helia wanted to smile, to place his hand under Flora's chin and bring her head up to meet his gaze once again. But they were in the middle of the hallway, right outside of his father's study, and anybody could walk by and see them. He was the prince for goodness sakes and she was just a foreign, lowborn, servant. He had to refrain.
"Tell your princess that I will be there this afternoon." Helia said with a commanding tone to his voice, "And you may also tell her that there will be a ball held in the beginning of the fall."
Flora raised her head and a wide smile spread across her face and her eyes began to sparkle once again, "Really? Princess Krystal will be so happy! Thank you, Your Highness. I knew that His Majesty would-"
"The ball isn't for me."
Flora tilted her head to the side, "What do you mean, Your Highness? Is your birthday not-"
"The captain is heading off to join the troops and my father is throwing a ball in his honor."
"But-"
Helia's mouth formed a thin line across his pale face and his blue eyes steeled to a cold expression, "Your princess has got her ball and she will get to wear the gown that you have made for her. You also needn't attend anymore since I did not ask him."
Flora's mouth opened slightly and then closed as nodded her head slowly. She looked as if she were going to cry, but what did she have to cry about?
"And tonight, Your Highness?" Flora's voice was no louder than a whisper.
"I will see you and the princess at tea." Helia leaned forward, "And I will see you tonight."
Helia spun on his heels and walked away from Flora, leaving her in the middle of the large hallway as he made his way to his room to change out of his training clothes and prepare for the rest of his day.
Flora watched as the prince walked away and disappeared as he turned the corner. She brought a hand up and wiped her eyes. She was glad that the prince did not see her tears fall. He might not admit it but she could see that he was hurt by a ball being held for Duncan during the time as his birthday. He couldn't cry so she did for him, if only momentarily.
She took a deep breath and adjusted her posture as she gathered her composure to travel the rest of the way to Krystals room to get her ready for the day.
"Well, well, well," Flora turned around to see the captain heading her way, "I didn't know that I would be running into you this morning. I would have worn something other than my training uniform."
Flora gave the captain a forced smile as the captain came closer and closer to her. His leather boots stomping against the stone floor of the corridor until he stood in front of her.
"Good morning, captain." Flora responded, "You shouldn't feel the need to look presentable in front of me. I expect that training is very important for a captain."
Duncan smirked as he looked down at Flora, taking in her appearance, his eyes hovering over the top of her bare chest, following the curves of her collar bones down to the cleavage. Flora shuddered and wanted to run away when his tongue darted out and momentarily licked his bottom lip. Was he that crass? How could anyone ever throw a ball for someone like him?
"What are you doing in front of the king's study?" Duncan asked as his eyes tore away from Flora and to the large door of the king's study. "I didn't know that the king entertained meetings with servants."
"He doesn't, captain. At least not with me. I just ran into someone in the hallway." Flora figured that Duncan didn't need to know it was Helia. She didn't really want to talk about the prince with Duncan. Flora knew that there was some sort of tension between the captain and the prince, mainly because of the king's joy when it came to the captain.
"Is that so?"
"Yes, captain."
Duncan glanced back to the door again and narrowed his golden eyes as he brought his gaze back down to Flora.
"You will find that you will not want to lie to me."
Flora gulped, "I assure you that I am no liar and I have no intentions of starting now."
"Good, lying is such an...ugly trait. And you are anything but ugly."
"Thank you, captain," Flora said through slightly clenched teeth as she smiled.
Flora let out a small gasp and jumped back slightly as Duncan's cold hand propped up her chin and lifted her head to look at him.
"And I would love for you to be just as beautiful when I return. I would hate to return to see your beauty soiled by something...or someone...but I know that you will be such a good girl and stay beautiful for me."
Duncan released Flora's chin but she held his gaze with a fierce gaze of her own.
"Oh don't look at me like that," Duncan replied, "I won't be gone for too long. If you frown too much you'll get lines on your face and that just will not do."
"I have to get the princess ready for the day." Flora cooly replied.
"Then you best not keep her waiting. I know that I don't like to be kept waiting either."
Duncan walked past Flora and knocked on the door of the king's study.
"Come in." the king's voice sounded from the other end of the door.
"I hope to see you around, gorgeous."
Duncan opened the door and when the door shut, Flora did everything in her power to keep herself up on her feet. He touched her again and she hated it just as much as she had the first time. His touch was cold and the way that he looked at her sent chills up her spine, and not the good kind. It reminded her of... Flora closed her eyes and took a deep breath. She refused to take her mind to that time and place. Better to block it out and never think about it. Never think about him again.
Flora didn't know why Duncan had been so drawn to her, there was nothing special about her, well, nothing special that he knew. And there was nothing special about him, nothing that drew Flora to the captain. Quite the opposite in fact.
His touch paled in comparison to the light touches of the night before and the small swirls that the prince absentmindedly drew on her hand as they had talked. Helia's hands were warm and not once did she want to back away. Flora shook her head, trying her best not to think about the touch of the prince. She shouldn't enjoy his touch, that touch was not hers to have as he had been promised to Krystal and Flora had sworn herself to a life of maidenhood as the Guardian and as Krystal's handmaiden.
Flora once again took a deep breath and closed her eyes as she tried to banish all thoughts of the captain who had gotten too close, the prince who she could not have, and the promise that she made to Krystal and her home of Linphea.
"Stay positive. Stay positive. Stay positive." Flora repeated to herself once again before regaining her composure and making her way to the princess's room, ready to begin the day and do her best to forget the incident with the captain in the hallway.
"Really?!" Krystal exclaimed as Flora got her dressed for the day in a dark green wool gown, "There will be a ball?"
"Yes, Your Highness. It seems that you will wear the gown I am making for you after all."
"Oh, I am so excited, Flora! It has been so long since I have been to a ball. I was beginning to think that I would never attend a ball. Well, at least not until the king finally died."
"Hush your mouth, princess!" Flora scolded as she paused trying the strings of Krystal's gown across her back. "You should not say such things about His Majesty."
"You know that I am right, Flora. King Azrael is a horrid man."
"You still should not say such things about him. He will be your father-in-law, Your Highness."
Flora resumed dressing Krystal as Krystal crossed her arms over her chest.
"Don't remind me." Krystal groaned.
"Why do you say that, Your Highness?" Flora asked as she smoothed out the thick fabric of Krystal's dress.
"Because Prince Helia isn't much better."
Flora held her tongue. She wanted to tell Krystal that it wasn't entirely true that Helia had been as bad as Azrael. Sure, the prince could have a temper and was a bit moody but he was nothing like his father, last night had proved it. What prince would spend time reading to a servant? But Flora couldn't tell Krystal that or else she would become curious and the small, private world that she and Helia had built together would be shattered. Flora had to admit that it was nice to have something that Krystal didn't, even if the person that she shared the small world with wasn't hers to have.
Why was she even thinking this way? In the few moments at tea and their time together the night before, Flora found herself learning more about the prince that had intrigued her. Saladin had been right, he was troubled and his father had been the main culprit of his torment. He had shown her that there was some kindness in him and she found herself drawn to him. But the feelings that were starting to develop...ridiculous and based on nothing but her own wish that someone might actually like her and that the same person might harbor some feelings for her in return. But the prince? The man promised to her beautiful princess and best friend? Absolutely out of the question. She had to return her mind to the princess and focus on preparing her for the day.
"I think that His Highness has shown that he is quite a better man than his father."
"I suppose so," Krystal sighed as she sat on the edge of her bed as Flora picked up Krystal's sleeping gown from the floor and draped it over the back of one of the large chairs in Krystal's room. "Though he is quite quiet."
"I guess," Flora's mind went to the in-depth she and Helia had the night before but quickly wiped it from her head, "perhaps you haven't brought up anything of interest to the prince, Your Highness. Though I think everything you say is interesting."
"Maybe I could thank him for the ball and probe him for details about the ball. I want to be perfect for the prince, it is his birthday after all."
Flora once again held her tongue, keeping herself from saying what she wanted to say. She had omitted the part where the ball wasn't exactly for Helia and his silent disappointment in the fact when she had run into him in the hallway. Krystal was just so happy that there was going to be a ball that Flora did not want to spoil that happiness of the reality that the ball was for Duncan, thus getting into the tense relationship between the captain and the prince that Flora barely understood herself. Better to let Krystal think that the ball is to commemorate a joyous occasion.
"I think that would be an excellent idea, Your Highness." Flora stood in front of Krystal and held out her hands. She pulled her up and walked her over to the small vanity to finish getting ready for the day.