"I don't think I like this story very much, Your Highness."
Flora was picking through wooden crates of produce that had shown up at the kitchen door earlier that day. Lucien had dropped by crates of oranges, mangos, lemons, grapefruits, and peaches from his most recent shipment from Solaria. It had been nearly two weeks since Helia and Flora began their nightly routine of him sneaking down to the kitchens to read to Flora after she had finished attending to the princess for the day. With the dress complete, Flora had taken to completing chores that would usually fall to someone else, but Flora liked to keep herself busy as she listened to Helia. He had offered to teach her to read before, and he still had every intention of doing so, but Flora had told him that she had grown to love the sound of his voice as he brought the story to life.
"And what do you not like about this one?" Helia asked as he rolled his eyes, setting the book face down on his lap.
"Well," Flora placed her hand on top of the mound of grapefruit, "I am not too fond of the violence in this story. A wolf eating Red Riding Hood's grandmother? The huntsman killing and gutting the wolf to save Red Riding Hood and the grandmother? I much prefer the story that you read to me last week, Your Highness. I think that one has been my favorite thus far."
"And which one would that be?"
"The one with the princess cursed to sleep, only to be woken up by true love's kiss."
Helia chuckled, "I suppose most women get lost in the idea of true love's kiss. Little girls dream of it and grown women wish that such a thing as true love exists."
Helia felt comfortable being himself in front of Flora. After long days of training the troops with Duncan and the monotonous and draining teas with the princess. Saladin was right, again...Bring with Flora, and being himself, was far easier than being the man that his father had wanted. He had much preferred his nights reading to Flora in the basement of the palace rather than the uncomfortable and whiskey-fueled dinners that he would have with his father where if Helia dared to be himself, he would be yelled at by his father. Or worse...
Ever since he had begun this small ritual with Flora, Helia had never felt the urge to reach for the bottle. His liver was in the handmaiden's debt, that was for certain. But the voices in his head stopped swirling around him and had quieted. Of course, the voices loved to make themselves known when he was training with Duncan. The captain was always showed off when he was in front of Helia. Smirking, as a way to remind the prince that he was his father's favorite, not the prince. But there was something else in his eyes, something new and wicked, that made Helia want to beat the absolute shit out of the captain. But he had kept those thoughts at bay, not giving in to the unspoken taunts being thrown Helia's way about who knows what.
"I was going to say that I liked the idea of being allowed to sleep so soundly but I also enjoyed the part about true love's kiss."
Helia rolled his eyes once more as Flora placed the grapefruits from the crate into a large bowl on top of the wooden table in the middle of the kitchen.
"I can hear you mocking me, Your Highness."
"I didn't say anything." Helia countered.
"Being the princess's handmaiden has made me well attuned to any silent jeers thrown my way, Your Highness. But I shall overlook it this time."
"You will overlook my actions?" Helia folded his arms across his chest and rose up from the wooden chair in the corner of the kitchen, "I thought that I was the prince? What right do you have to overlook anything that I do?"
Helia stood behind Flora as she moved onto the mangos, their oblong shape making it harder to organize the fruit. Flora's breathing became deeper and slower as she looked over the fruit, her concentration of finding any bad spots faltering as she felt the warmth from the prince behind her. His hand shot out from behind her and landed to her side on the table as he leaned on his arm and looked at her from the side.
"Just because I am a handmaiden, Your Highness, doesn't mean that I should be treated with disrespect. Nobody should," Flora took in a deep breath as she turned her head to look at Helia, "including you."
Flora wiped her hands on the white, cloth apron tied around her waist as Helia removed his hand from the table and rose from his casual position. He had only meant to tease Flora, but instead, she had looked at him with a tender seriousness that took away any teasing mood from the warm kitchen.
"Fine, no more stories like Little Red Riding Hood." Helia walked back to his chair and picked up the small red book. He held it tightly in his hand as he turned on his heels and made his way out of the kitchen.
Flora looked up and her eyebrows lowered in confusion. Her hands hovered over the mangos, she had not meant to upset the prince. She didn't think that he would find offense to what she had told him. She did believe it though, the prince was deserving of respect and she hated the way that he would talk about his father-when the topic had been brought up-and she hated the way that Duncan had looked down on him. Helia would talk about his frustrations with the captain at trainings and when they would run into each other in the hallway. Flora was fortunate enough not to have seen Duncan since that chance meeting in the corridor outside of the king's study where he had grabbed her chin and made disparaging remarks. Helia could not be so lucky as to avoid the captain's presence.
Helia disappeared from the kitchen and Flora could hear the sound of his boots growing fainter as he made his way up the stone staircase, back to the main floors of the palace. He hadn't even told her goodbye. Flora felt something in her chest sink, thinking that the prince had just left her there. She would never admit it, but her favorite part of the night is when Helia would tell her goodnight. There was something different, something special about the way that he left her. His dark blue eyes would warm as he gazed down at her and his mouth would turn up into a slight smile that made her skin tingle in a good way. Not like how her skin tingled when she was in Duncan's presence.
And Flora hated the way that she felt when he said goodbye.
She shouldn't be feeling anything for the prince. She should have said no when he had asked to read to her. She should have ended their nightly meetings and she should have stopped teasing him as if he were a friend...or something more. He was right, he was the prince and she was just a handmaid who was nothing more than insignificant in the world of Hademort. All of which made her curious as to why Helia had offered to read to her, to make her happy? He did not owe her anything, he was right again about that, and he had no idea who she really was. To him, she should have been nothing more than dirt under his boots.
Flora strived to do everything that she was supposed to, to make sure that everything she had done was right, just, and good. But there was nothing right about secretly meeting with the prince when the rest of the palace was asleep. There was nothing just about going behind her princess's back and spending time alone with her future husband without her knowing. And there was absolutely nothing good about the feelings that began to develop deep within her for the moody and troubled prince. She did her best to abandon the thoughts before guilt would set in and nothing good ever came when Flora felt guilty. It would ruin her. Best to ignore it, she thought, ignore it and it shall go away.
Returning her attention to the crate of mangoes, she began to separate the good mangos from the stellar ones. The good ones would be used in dishes and the stellar ones would be cut up for the princess to eat in the morning. When the mangos had been separated accordingly, Flora moved onto the peaches. She opened the crate and the sunny and citrusy smell of the orange fruit wafted through the air and Flora took in a deep breath. She was brought back to picnics with her mother, father, and sister. Spending their days out in the country, her parents spreading out in the wide field and Flora and her sister playing in the...
No, Flora shook her head, she couldn't think like that. She promised herself never to think of moments like that ever again. She didn't deserve to think of times like that. She couldn't think of those happy memories or she would begin to dwell and again, nothing good ever came when she let guilt set in and consume her.
The sound of steps coming down the stairs brought Flora back to reality and her stomach fluttered when she saw the familiar prince come down the stairs carrying a worn, small, brown book in his hands. He stopped and stared at her when he reached the bottom of the steps and then looked behind him.
"What?" Helia asked as he returned his gaze to Flora who had been staring at the prince like she had just seen the ghost of a loved one.
"I thought that you had left, Your Highness," Flora replied, softening her face but the shock still lingering.
"You said that you didn't like the story so I went to get another one from the study."
"You did not have to do that, Your Highness." Flora sighed.
"I wanted to."
Helia took a step towards the chair that he had been sitting in previously in the corner of the kitchen. He placed the brown book on his lap and Flora glanced over to where he sat.
"What story do you have this time, Your Highness?" Flora asked as she began separating the peaches in the same way that she had the mangos and the grapefruits.
"I, um, I actually have one that I hope that you will like. It was actually my mother's favorite. She would read it to me all the time even if I much preferred the tales of Robin Hood and his Merry Men."
Flora smiled and took off her apron and placed it on the hook on the stone wall. She grabbed a peach, the same color as her gown, and walked over to the other wooden chair in the kitchen that sat beside where Helia was seated. This had been her usual seat when she would finish whichever chore she had taken on for the night. She felt so comfortable being this close to the prince and she would not admit to anyone else that she longed to be closer to him.
Lowering herself into the chair, the peach in her hand, Flora looked at the prince whose eyes were fixed on her.
"I have enjoyed all the stories that you have read to me, Your Highness."
"You just said that you didn't like Little Red Riding Hood." Helia scoffed.
"I said that I did not enjoy it as much as the others, not that I hadn't enjoyed it at all, Your Highness."
Helia narrowed his eyes and did his best to hide a smile but when Flora had smiled at him, he felt it hard to hold it in any longer. They both smiled as they stared into each other's eyes, the kitchen and the rest of the palace disappearing around them. If someone were to walk down to the kitchen and find them, they would have thought the prince and the handmaiden had gone mad. Well, maybe they had.
Leaning back, Helia broke eye contact as he cleared his throat, causing Flora to slowly fall back into her chair.
"Well, I believe that this story will have everything that you enjoy."
"You are about to share your mother's favorite story with me, Your Highness. I cannot wait for you to read it to me."
Helia did not say a word but merely nodded to Flora as he adjusted his posture in the chair and opened the book to the first page. He gave her one final look as she took a bite of the peach that was in her hand, watching as the juice of the fruit covered her lips and the smell filled the air. He had never felt better.
He began.
"Once upon a time, in a faraway land, a young prince lived in a shining castle. Although he had everything his heart desired, the prince was spoiled, selfish, and unkind. But then, one winter's night, an old beggar woman came to the castle and offered him a single rose in return for shelter from the bitter cold. Repulsed by her haggard appearance, the prince sneered at the gift and turned the old woman away, but she warned him not to be deceived by appearances, for beauty is found within. And when he dismissed her again, the old woman's ugliness melted away to reveal a beautiful enchantress. The prince tried to apologize, but it was too late, for she had seen that there was no love in his heart, and as punishment, she transformed him into a hideous beast, and placed a powerful spell on the castle, and all who lived there. Ashamed of his monstrous form, the beast concealed himself inside his castle, with a magic mirror as his only window to the outside world. The rose she had offered was truly an enchanted rose, which would bloom until his twenty-first year. If he could learn to love another, and earn her love in return by the time the last petal fell, then the spell would be broken. If not, he would be doomed to remain a beast for all time. As the years passed, he fell into despair, and lost all hope, for who could ever learn to love a beast?"
Helia read on about the girl from the small village and her father. He read about the man who had come back from war who had every intention of marrying the young woman, however, the village girl had no desire to marry the man. He was crass, brutish, and too self-absorbed. Flora wanted to laugh, the man reminded her of the captain but she was thankful that the captain had no intentions of marrying her.
As Helia arrived at the part of the story when the father came upon the Beast's castle, Flora leaned back in her chair and took another bite of the peach. She moaned contently as she chewed the sweet fruit. Helia glanced up at her, stumbling over his words. He quickly regained his composure as he shifted in his seat and brought the book back in front of his nose, Flora out of sight.
"He had asked for her hand. Belle did not know what to think other than she would not do it. That was for certain. How dare he show up at her home when her father was away and ask her such a question!? Without thinking, Belle opened the door and pushed the man out of her house and out into the crowd where everyone saw that Belle had rejected the most eligible bachelor in the village. But how could she marry him, she did not love him."
Flora shut her eyes as she listened to Helia read the story, the words filling her head but she had been drawn more to the sound of Helia's voice.
"Are you falling asleep?" Helia asked, a slight lilt of a laugh to his voice.
Flora's eyes slowly opened and she met Helia's gaze. She smiled as she looked at him with fondness. If she looked anything like she had felt, Flora knew that she shouldn't be looking at him that way. But how could she stop looking at him like that when he was looking at her the same way.
She had never seen the prince's eyes so soft. Usually filled with anger, desperation, or pain, he had looked at her with none of that. Flora did not know what it was, but it was different than anything that she had seen in the prince before. Should she avert her eyes? She certainly didn't want to.
"I want to apologize." Helia broke the silence.
Flora blinked, "For what, Your Highness? Have you done something? If so, I don't know what it is."
"For the way that I treated you when you first arrived. The way I yelled at you and the way that I brought you into the middle of the troubled relationship with my father."
Flora gave the prince an empathetic smile, "You have already apologized, Your Highness, and I have accepted. You have no need to apologize to me, Your Highness."
"No, no," Helia closed the book and leaned forward, "I haven't. At least not properly."
"What do you mean, Your Highness? You have read to me every night for the past two weeks and you have attended tea-"
"I have done these things because I could not find the words to tell you. To really tell you that I am truly sorry. I just...no," Helia shook his head, "I will not make excuses for what I have done. I told you to not make excuses and I will not begin to make them myself."
"Your Highness-"
"No, please. I have to tell you how deeply sorry I am. How sorry I am that you had the misfortune of having to join the princess in this frozen wasteland of a country. You deserve so much better than what I have given you, what my father has given you. What this country has given you." Helia stretched out his hand and took Flora's hand in his, "I am truly sorry and I would do anything to make you happy. I would spend the rest of my life apologizing if need be. I would-"
Flora snatched her hand away from Helia's. "I have already accepted your apology, Your Highness." Flora quickly repeated, "If you would please continue read-"
"I don't think that you understand what I am trying to tell you."
Flora rose to her feet and walked back over to the large wooden table that held bowls of fruit. She began mindlessly sorting through the fruit that she had already sorted, taking stock of what was there but in her head, her mind was racing.
Helia continued, "These past two weeks have been the happiest that I have felt in a long time. Perhaps the happiest I have felt since my mother was still alive. Ever since you stepped off of that ship, I have...I have felt..." Helia took a deep breath and he shut his eyes as he continued with an exasperated groan, "you were so frustrating. And I suspect that I was not any better. No, I know that I wasn't any better. I tried to suppress the very obvious feeling that I had, have, towards you."
Flora kept her eyes on the peaches, her half-eaten peach on the table beside the bowl, "But the princess-"
"What about her?" Helia stood up and placed the brown book on the seat of the wooden chair, "I attend those silly little teas for you. I feel nothing for her. I don't care whether she hates me or-"
Flora snapped her head around, "How could you say such a thing, Your Highness?!"
Tears began to well in her green eyes, causing them to sparkle under the light of the lit sconces in the kitchen. This was not how any of this was supposed to go. Helia and Krystal would fall in love like in the stories and marry each other in the most lavish ceremony that anyone has ever seen. He wasn't supposed to feel anything for her. Nobody should feel anything for her.
And she wasn't supposed to feel anything for him.
"How? Easily!" Helia took another step towards Flora as she began sorting the peaches by color. Such a silly task to occupy her mind with the silly nonsense that was spewing out of the prince's mouth. "I simply do not care for her. She is kind, beautiful, and everything that any prince would want. But not me. I don't want her. I want-"
"You are a prince with certain obligations. Just like the rest of us." Flora tightened her grip on the peach that she held in her hand. "You have an obligation to the princess and she has one to you. I promised that I would not see this union-"
"What union, Flora? How much clearer can I be? I don't want Krystal! Damn it, Flora, I want you!"
Flora gasped and turned her head slowly to face the prince. Her nails pierced the peach, her fingers becoming wet and sticky from the juices.
"And tell me, Your Highness. How does this story end?" Flora's voice was level and cool as she wiped her hand on the apron around her waist. She sent a quick glance to the brown book on the wooden chair.
"What?"
"Let me guess," Flora looked up at Helia, her eyes boring into Helia's, "the young woman from the village falls in love with the Beast and breaks the curse and they live happily ever after."
Helia didn't respond but his expression easily confirmed Flora's guess.
"And as you always love to remind me, Your Highness, it is just a fairytale. A work of fiction meant to give those who read it a false sense of hopefulness. Who could truly learn to love a Beast? Nobody could love a Beast, a monster."
Helia backed away from Flora, her words cutting him deep. His face hardened as he looked at Flora. She had made herself perfectly clear.
"You're right," Helia's voice was as cold as the day they had met, "how could you learn to ever love someone like me?"
"Your Highness, I-"
"You have made it perfectly clear. I know that I am probably the last person you would ever want. How could someone like you have any feelings towards me? I am not good at anything, I am not the shining hero that Duncan is to the utter disappointment of my father, and I am-"
Flora slammed her hand on the table as she spun around to stare Helia right in the face, "I am not talking about you! I am talking about me!"
Helia's mouth snapped shut and he took a step back. What the Hell was she talking about? What did she mean she was talking about herself? Helia didn't finish telling her the story, in fact, they barely got into it, but if anyone was the Beast in this kitchen, it was him. He was the one who had been behaving like a beast and just like the beast in the story, he had admitted to the most beautiful and kindest woman that he wanted her. And just like in the story, the beautiful and kind woman rejected him. But not for the reasons he thought.
"How could you not be talking about me? You are nothing like-"
"You don't know anything about me and yet you say that you want me." Flora directed her gaze down to the floor. "I have enjoyed our time together and I am beyond thankful to the hours that you have spent reading to me and allowing me to become wrapped in the stories that you tell, Your Highness. But there are things that you don't know about me, and if you did, I know that your feelings towards me would change. You can't want me, Your Highness. You shouldn't and you mustn't."
Helia looked at the handmaiden who looked just as small that night in his room. But it wasn't due to his anger distorting what he saw, but instead, she had curled into herself, a look of shame and guilt etched across her face.
"I am certain that there is nothing that you could have done that would ever make me think poorly of you. You are kinder than any person I have met, you are caring, beautiful, outspoken, and unafraid. I have never-"
"Please stop, Your Highness. I am not who you think I am, and you are betrothed to the princess. My princess. None of this is fair to the princess, your future bride and queen. I cannot allow this to carry on any further. I should have never accepted your offer. It was a mistake. This," Flora motioned between herself and the prince, "was a mistake."
"A mistake?"
Flora brought her head to look up at Helia, her eyes watering as she met his gaze. She gave him a soft nod as tears fell onto her cheeks and her nose became red and puffy. Helia still thought she looked more beautiful than anything that he had ever seen. After everything he had put her through, the yelling, the screaming, the insults, it was now that she cried. She cried when he told her he had feelings for her. He thought that she would be happy. He thought that there was some sort of mutual connection or had he been imagining it?
"I don't know what you could have done to make you think that my feelings for you would be diminished. I could never think less of you. I think that you forget who my father is and the kinds of people that he chooses to surround himself with and thus, surrounds me with."
Helia took a step towards Flora and reached for her hand, his hand wrapping around hers. She didn't move but the tears continued to flow from her eyes.
"I have never felt this way about someone before and I know that what I feel for you, I could never feel for the princess. I have spent every waking minute since you stepped off of the boat trying to suppress that feeling but I can no longer ignore it. I have never felt more free than when I am with you. I feel...I feel more like myself. I don't have to pretend with you or prove myself to you. Flora, I lov-"
He pulled her into his arms but Flora pushed him away.
"Please, Your Highness. I can't-"
"Do you not feel the same way? I thought-" Helia furrowed his brow in confusion as he looked down at Flora. His arms wrapped around Flora, her hands on his chest as she held herself away from him. She refused to meet his gaze.
"I can't..."
"Tell me that you don't feel the same way. Tell me that you haven't felt something between us. Anything. I know that I don't deserve you and that you would be much better off with someone who isn't me but I-"
"You're supposed to-"
"And I thought that I told you that you do not tell me what I am to do. I know what I must do but-"
"Please let go of me, Your Highness."
"Not until you tell me how you feel. Do you not-"
"I do, Your Highness! I want you too! I want you more than I have wanted anyone else! I love-"
The words shot out of Flora's mouth but she caught herself before the words became too much for both Helia and her to fully understand. She loved him despite everything. She froze in his arms and the feelings for the prince came flooding in. But so did the guilt. The guilt of what happened all of those years ago. The reason that she was even here in the first place. The reason her family was...
Finding her senses, Flora pushed the prince away from her and rushed over to the opposite side of the kitchen.
"But I can't be with you. I won't, Your Highness."
Helia's face darkened, "You feel the same way but you w-"
"The princess looks forward to seeing you tomorrow at tea, Your Highness." Flora interrupted. "Please leave. It is late, Your Highness."
Helia spoke more forcefully, unfortunately bringing images of his father to his mind, "Do not change the subject. You feel the same way but you demand that I leave? You demand me, the prince, to leave?"
"What did you think that I would say, Your Highness? I don't know what it is like to be royal, but people like me don't get the luxury of doing whatever we want. I will not go behind the princess's back and betray her. I will not betray Linphea. I have my duty and you have yours. To your country and to Her Highness."
"How are you so devoted to her?" Helia scoffed, both frustrated and curious. "How do you follow her so blindly?"
"Please," Flora's voice darkened, "leave."
"You treat her like a daughter or like some little sister. I would love to have someone as devoted to me as you are to the princess. You are unlike any other handmaiden I have ever met. Why do you dote on her so?"
"Your Highness, I will not ask again."
"Just tell me-"
Helia stopped as Flora abruptly turned around and exited the kitchen, throwing her apron onto the kitchen table. If Helia wouldn't leave, then she would. She needed to get away from him before she became angry or worse, she gave in to him. Flora wanted nothing more than to ignore the betrothal promise between Linphea and Hademort but she couldn't. She knew all too well how actions had consequences and how much she did not deserve to have the happiness that she felt when she was with the prince. She would not bring that to Helia, she knew how much he struggled with his father, she didn't want to add her dark past to his burdens.
Hearing footsteps behind her, Flora made her way down the hall to her small, cold room. Flora made it to her room as Helia followed behind her. She quickly opened the door and slammed it shut, right in the prince's face.
Flora took in a deep breath of relief and outside of the room, Helia fought every urge not to return the man that he was before, the man that his father would prefer to see. He could storm into the room and demand that she tell him why she would not be with him. He would beg her, no, command her to ignore the princess. If she would not follow his orders, he would invoke the might of his father. But he wouldn't. He couldn't. Not to her.
Helia raised his fist to knock on the door but as the air silenced and stilled, he could not find it in him to knock. He loved her and he knew that deep down, he would always love her. It was in that moment, for the first time in years that Helia yearned for his mother. To listen to her comforting voice and give him advice on what to do next. But what would she say? His father loved her and she loved the man that his father once was before her passing. What would she say when two people loved each other but could not be together? He didn't know and he would never know.
Flora was right. This was all a mistake. He should have never given in, should never offered to go to those stupid teas, never offered to read to Flora at night. Maybe he was as weak as his father always said he was. God, it hurt so much.
What had she meant about him not loving her if he knew the truth about her? Why would she refuse to answer his questions about her unyielding devotion to the princess? Helia only saw her as the same breathtaking woman who stepped off the boat and the more he spent time with her, the more he fell deeper in love with her. He was desperate to know why she thought this way. He wanted to know more about her. He wanted to know everything about her.
But that would have to wait for another day. For now, Helia would follow the advice of his grandfather and not speak when emotions were high. He would ignore the pain in his chest and head to bed. He would remember Flora and the peach, how her eyes shut and lips parted as she listened to him read. He would remember the feeling of her body in his arms and the moment when she told him that she felt the same way.
"I knew that I loved your father and when I realized it, it had been the most glorious feeling in the world. But what they won't tell you is how much better it feels to be loved in return."
His mother's voice rang in his head yet again but this time for a much different reason. He loved her and she said that she loved him. He should feel amazing.
So why did he feel like absolute shit?