Author's Note: Three updates in three days? Who am I?
We get closer to finding out why Elliot is acting the way he is, and Olivia has a few choice words to say.
Olivia walked back into the interrogation room to see that Elliot and Kathy had barely moved a muscle in the time she'd been in the captain's office. Kathy's eyes rose to acknowledge Olivia. "Did he have any news for us?" Kathy asked.
She weighed her options. Some form of the truth would be the best option, but how much of it – and how much would she water it down to make it palatable? The last thing she wanted to do was break them anymore than they were already broken.
Elliot lifted his eyes and looked at her, his gaze issuing a silent plea, and in that moment, she saw the first glimmers of the man she'd called her best friend and partner for so many years. He was broken, and his inner light and fire was dimmed, but he was still in there, somewhere.
"Uh, they have a possible lead they're investigating, but I don't know much more than that right now," Olivia said, as she pulled out a chair and sat in it, and rested her folded hands on the table in front of her, one knee propped over the other. "I know they're doing everything they can to find Eli."
"How many times have we said that to a victim's family and known it was complete bullshit?" Elliot's voice was hoarse, and she knew he had to be picturing the faces of every young child they'd ever encountered on the job and imagining them as his own. He always had. That was his driving force: protect those who can't protect themselves. "Come on, Olivia."
Her voice trembled as she spoke, betraying any of her lingering doubts about the identity of the unaccompanied toddler. "I don't want to give you false hope and have to take it away."
"Any hope is better than no hope."
"Elliot, you don't mean that," Kathy said, smoothing her hand over the back of his neck and tucking his shirt tag beneath the collar. "Olivia knows what she's doing. She's not –"
"I know she knows what she's doing." He paused for a moment, before he stood up and began to pace like a caged animal in the corner of the room. Kathy looked taken aback at his sudden motion. "I know she knows what she's doing, because I was there when she learned a lot of it. I taught her everything I know." He stared at Olivia, almost daring her to stand up herself, and step forward closer to him. "Which is why I want the truth."
She remained seated, but looked coolly over at him. "I told you the truth. Whether or not you want to hear it is another matter entirely."
"We should be out there searching for him."
"No, we shouldn't. This case is too personal for both of us. You know Cragen would have delegated it to Fin and Rollins," and the new girl's name was barely out of her mouth before Elliot spun around to look at her with an odd blend of confused anger and a measure of hurt.
"I've already been replaced. They couldn't even let Jenna's body be cool in the ground before they replaced me."
"Rollins didn't replace you. She was coming in anyway, now that Munch is cutting back on his outside duties." She knew the words were a cold comfort, and if he reacted that sharply to the news of Rollins, knowing Amaro had actually replaced him would send him over the edge. Not that anyone could ever truly replace him for her, but she saw flashes of a resemblance to a younger, more brash Elliot when she dealt with Amaro. Even if it wasn't factually accurate, it was his impression that Rollins replaced him that was important.
He pounded his fist into his palm. "You know what, I can't do this. Eli – my kid, if you haven't forgotten – is out there somewhere wondering where his family is, and is probably scared half out of his mind."
Kathy let out a short, pained wail, and Olivia could only imagine the kind of havoc her mind was enacting.
"I know for a fact Detectives Lu and Dawes are out there right now, following every lead they can. This is their case, not yours."
"Lu is good," Elliot said, half to himself. "She'll probably be taking the Sergeant's exam before long."
"See, Eli is in the best possible hands," Kathy said, forcing herself to speak evenly. "If this Lu is as good as you say she is, then she's the one I want finding our boy and bringing him back to us."
"I know of her by reputation," Olivia said. "Never actually met her, but she's supposed to be a rising star in the department. Elliot's right, she'll probably be a Sergeant after the next time they administer the exam, if she wants it. I trust that Lu – and Dawes, too, of course – will do their very best."
Something in her reassurance settled some of the rage simmering in Elliot's expression, and he sat down across from her, next to Kathy, although his knee kept bouncing against the underside of the table.
"I did want to ask you two something, though, based on my conversation with Cerreta," she said. Before continuing, she cleared her throat. "Can you tell me what happened the morning of June 19th?"
The couple exchanged a wary look, before Kathy said, "that was the morning our garage was broken into. I remember talking to the officers after we got home from Mass and saw the debris."
"Was anything taken besides the tricycle you reported to Officer Linden?"
"You have got to be kidding me," Elliot huffed. "Our son is missing and you're questioning us about some neighborhood punks stealing his tricycle three months ago?"
"I'm trying to figure out if there's any connection between what happened in June and his disappearance today."
Elliot snorted derisively and rocked himself back in the chair. "Yeah, sure. It feels like a lot of grasping at straws."
"Not like you've left me much choice lately." She blew out a breath and looked at the Stablers. "Look, I don't think you're connected to any of this. Cerreta doesn't either."
"Glad to know my partner doesn't think I'm capable of kidnapping my own kid."
"You know, I didn't think my partner was capable of abandoning me for, what's it been, four months now, without as much as a courtesy phone call or carrier pigeon to let me know he was still alive, but here we are. Guess we were both mistaken." God, she really had to get out of here, but she knew she couldn't leave them alone in interrogation, especially if Elliot was willing to pull the badge card on the other officers. Interrogation rooms were stifling under the best of circumstances, and this was far from those.
The expression on his face was stricken, as if she'd slapped him with her hand instead of with her words, and Kathy looked between the two of them like an innocent doe caught in the headlights of an oncoming head-on collision. She knew them best as the solid rocks that anchored each other to the ground, not the combustible combination of gunpowder and fire that they could often be.
"Not even Cragen could give me answers, Elliot. No one could. The first indication I've had since May that you were even still among the living was not even two hours ago, in this exact room, from your wife." She motioned to Kathy. "Do you know how worried sick I've been about you? How many people have asked me 'how's Elliot, where's Elliot, have you talked to Elliot lately?' Cabot, Novak, Cragen, Fin, Munch – hell, even the guy we used to get our morning coffee and Danishes from has asked me a time or two. And my answer is always, 'I don't know,' because you never gave me the courtesy for any other answer."
The large vein on his forehead throbbed as she spoke. "Are you done?" he asked. His voice was eerily quiet and calm, at least by his standards.
"If you have something to say for yourself, I'd love to hear it," she said.
"Do you know how worried sick I've been about you?" he asked, echoing the words back to her she'd only just said. "I failed Jenna Fox. I failed Kathy. Apparently, I've failed Eli, and probably all my other kids as well. I fail everyone in my life, and damnit, I can't fail you too." He fixed his gaze on Olivia and gave her a sad, crooked attempt at a half-smile. His eyes were glassy and watery, making them appear more of a crystalline blue than usual.
How did you ever fail me? You've saved me more times than I can count, and I've done the same for you. I'd continue to do the same for you.
"He doesn't sleep much," Kathy said. "I finally had to kick him to the guest bedroom so at least one of us could get a solid four hours a night and be functional for the kids. It only got worse after the break-in. He's barely left the house since."
That's why he reacted so poorly when I brought up the break-in. It caused him to spiral further into himself. A man's house is his castle and he wasn't there to defend it. Things were beginning to click together in her mind and make more sense, but there were still so many questions that lingered.
As the three of them sat there in contemplative silence, a soft knock sounded at the door to the room, and ended her train of thought. "Come in," Olivia said.
A slender woman with a long black ponytail came striding in, and Olivia rose to greet her. "Detective Kelly Lu, Queens SVU," she said, extending her hand to Olivia. The two women shook hands. "You must be the Detective Benson from Manhattan I've heard so much about."
"You'd be correct," she said. "And this is Detective Elliot Stabler, also from Manhattan, although he's on personal leave at the moment, and his wife Kathy. Stabler was my primary partner on the force for 13 years until his leave started."
Detective Lu nodded in acknowledgement. "Nice to meet all of you. I take it we're all here because of Eli Stabler, and that Captain Cerreta has filled you in on the necessary details."
"It's all necessary, if you ask me," Elliot muttered under his breath, and Kathy clamped her hand down hard on his shoulder, as if to say not now.
"He has," Olivia said, ignoring Elliot's outburst. "Do you have any updates for us?"
"We received reports of an unaccompanied toddler wandering near Little Neck Park, so my partner, Detective Dawes, and I were dispatched over there to investigate," she said. "And – why I don't I let Dawes do the explaining?" She called out loud enough for a person on the other side of the glass to hear, "you can come in now," and walked behind the table, away from the Stablers. She had a slight, expectant smile on her face.
At first glance, Olivia only noticed the tall man – presumably, Detective Dawes - who walked into the room, but soon, the room was filled with a delighted, high-pitched screeching, as Eli came barreling around the corner and saw his parents. "Mama! Daddy!" he called out, running to them.
"Eli!" Both Stabler parents called out his name in unison, and quickly engulfed him in a giant bear hug. They smoothed his fine baby curls back and whispered words of love and adoration upon seeing their youngest, safe and sound. "Are you okay, baby?" Kathy asked.
"The nice lady has a badge like Dad's, and she gave me ice cream, and I haven't had lunch yet!" Eli said, grinning as he looked at his parents with a wild-eyed expression. "Am I going to get in trouble?"
"No, of course not, buddy," Elliot said, pressing his son tightly against his chest. "What matters is that you're here with us."
Olivia looked to Detective Lu. "Yeah, it's one of Dawes's tricks for getting young victims to cooperate. He has a theory that no kid is going to say no to ice cream, and no parent is going to be too angry as long as the kid is otherwise okay." She shrugged her shoulders and looked at the happy reunion unfolding in front of them. "It usually works out pretty well, and if I take the credit instead of him, parents seem to take it better, even though Dawes is a giant softie. He buys out Duane Reade of their clearance stuffed animals after every holiday to give to traumatized kids. You should see the trunk of our squad car. Cerreta calls it the Zoo."
"Did Eli get one?"
"Yeah, we gave him an elephant earlier, but I don't see it right now. I'll have Dawes check the car while I ask Eli a few questions about this morning, and then they'll be free to go."
"Do you have any idea who did it?"
"All he's said so far is it was a young guy who ran really fast and smelled kind of funny. Something must have spooked the guy because he just ditched Eli by the side of the road and ran off."
"Getaway was by foot, then."
"Not a whole lot to go on, I know," Lu said with a sigh. "And let's face it, Benson, unless this guy tries to pull some funny business again, the odds of us getting a usable lead from Eli are slim, and you know how reliable finding eyewitnesses for something like this can be. He's safe, he's with his parents, and he's unhurt. There's not much more we can ask for, at least at the moment."
Olivia knew Lu had a solid point, even though she hated admitting it. Today could have ended so much worse. "Yeah, you're right," she said, slowly breathing out and looking at Elliot, Kathy and Eli hugging and talking animatedly.
Lu and the Stabler parents huddled together for a moment and talked quietly, before Elliot pulled Olivia aside. "I know Lu's told you that she wants to talk to Eli before we leave, but can you stay? Even if you have to leave the room, stay. Or if you have to leave, meet us back at the house later. Please, Olivia."
There were a thousand reasons she should say no, but one big one why she should say yes.
"Okay, fine, I will, but it's for Eli, not for you."
"I earned that."
As Olivia left the interrogation room, she paused at the glass to watch them one last time. She'd always wanted a family of her own, and yet, the closest she'd ever come was being the spectator looking in on Elliot and his family.
Oh, Elliot.
At least he was still alive, so that she could have the distinct honor of killing him for everything he'd put her through the last few months. That was the comfort she took from the experience as she left the precinct and drove off; she had a couple errands to run before she went over to the Stabler's later.
-to be continued-
Author's Note: Sometimes, I might be considered evil, but I'm not "inflict serious harm on a preschooler" evil...but this is far from over. (The not harming preschoolers disclaimer does continue to apply.)