Author's Note: To quote one of our favorite detectives, I love you...I love all of you.
(No, really. I love the support this story has received, on both AO3/FFN and from Twitter. It means more to me than you'd know.)
"Have a great day at school, Noah," Olivia said, brushing a kiss on her son's cheek in the car the next morning. "Lucy will be here to pick you up, 3:30 sharp, right here." She'd woken up as the first rays of a spring sun punctured through her curtains and made a few early morning calls to Lucy and to Fin – Fin, to say she'd be in later that morning and to only call her in case of emergency or a big case, and Lucy to explain a bit about what was going on and to emphasize how much she wanted both of them to be safe right now.
He rolled his eyes – oh, his teenage years were going to be a blast, if his attitude was peeking through already – as he grabbed his backpack and lunch box and reached for the door handle. "She always does."
"I know, but humor your ol' mom, okay?" She rested her palms flat against the steering wheel. "Love you."
The mumbling that came out of his mouth as he ambled out of the car and toward his group of friends sounded enough like love you too, mom that she was willing to accept it. She watched him with his friends for a moment; the boys were digging in their backpacks looking for something – probably those trading cards Noah had been begging her for ever since his friend Ethan gave him a pack for his birthday last year.
She'd been denying him – what was the point of those things, anyway? – but maybe, given everything that was going on, she could spring for a pack or two for him as a little surprise. Here, Liz had survived some sort of an attack last night, Eli was in hiding with his older sister and her boyfriend, and wherever Kathleen and Rich were, she hoped beyond hope they were safe too. By comparison, Noah and his trading cards seemed like nothing.
The route to Elliot's temporary apartment was becoming muscle memory in her mind, but she swung by a bakery first and picked up an assortment of donuts, and made another stop by another location of the coffee cart her and Elliot used to frequent for three steaming hot cups of coffee. She wasn't sure how Liz took her coffee – if she even liked coffee – but she made sure to snag an ample supply of creamer and sugar, just to be safe.
In her backseat, she had a duffel bag with some clothes that looked like they would fit Liz, and a couple other things she thought Liz might need, if she was staying with Elliot for longer than a day or two that he was unlikely to have.
It took a bit of a balancing act, but she was able to carry everything she needed to into Elliot's building and up to his apartment in one trip. She managed to tap a short knock at his door with her crooked finger and hoped it was loud enough for him to hear.
"Morning," Elliot said, as he opened the door to her. He looked like he'd barely slept a wink all night, with dark circles rimming his eyes. "I would have come down and helped you carry that up, you know."
"Yeah, well, I didn't want to wake you up."
He knit his brows together and looked at her with a soft gaze. "You know I wasn't sleeping last night, Liv. Not with what happened to Liz."
She closed her eyes and sighed. "I should have known." All of their grasps on sleep had been tenuous at best, and she knew the only reason they'd gotten any sleep the last time she'd been here was because she'd crawled into his bed and comforted him after a PTSD-induced nightmares. Had that really only been the day before? It felt like so much longer, but between the Ashcroft girls case taking up her day and all the emotional turmoil since she'd left the precinct last night, it seemed about right.
"She's still in Eli's room, last time I looked in on her."
"Do you think she slept much last night?"
"I doubt it, but I never heard a peep."
Footsteps sounded from somewhere behind them, and a tousled blonde head peeked around the corner at the two of them standing there. "Hey, I thought I heard voices out here," Liz said. "Oh God, Olivia, you didn't have to bring us coffee." She looked impossibly small standing there, wearing her dad's old clothes and clearly disheveled from a difficult night spent in an unfamiliar place; Olivia could clearly remember the small girl with the cautious smile she'd met so long before, and maybe time wasn't so long and winding, after all.
"There's donuts too, and I brought you some spare clothes from home." She gestured to the duffel bag sitting on the floor near them.
"Damn, Dad, if you don't snatch her up, I'll date Olivia myself," she said with a brief laugh, twirling on her heel a little as she went into the kitchen for plates. The sudden movement allowed the fabric to swish in a way that showed another bruise developing where there hadn't been an obvious one the night before.
They grow up so fast.
They grow up so fast.
One moment, he'd looked and she was his youngest child – by two minutes, as Rich was quite fond of reminding her – at least, until Eli came along, and always his youngest daughter. She was the quiet one, the one who never wanted to cause any problems, the one who lived in everyone else's shadows. And the next moment, she was a beautiful young woman.
"Dad, if I tell you what happened, please – please don't punch the wall. It's not worth it, okay?" She had a dazed look, which was probably attributable to the lack of sleep, but she sipped idly at her coffee and occasionally looked at him or Olivia.
He looked at his daughter, who'd always been wise beyond her years – too wise , by half – and he exhaled. Just like when Olivia had confided in him, Liz needed him now, and she didn't need him to be the volatile ball of fury and anger he knew he was known for being in some circles. Not now. "You can always tell me anything, Lizzie," he said, using her childhood nickname. "I love you, and I don't want anyone to hurt you, and if someone did, that's going to piss me off, but it's not about you."
Olivia's foot nudged his under the table, and he reached over to squeeze her hand. At least he had his partner back by his side, and even if things weren't back to how they'd been before he'd left – if they ever could be – they had a good thing going and he was so glad that if anyone had to bear witness to him in this moment, it was her.
"I'd met some friends for dinner in NoHo after work – it's stupid, really, but Tracy broke it off with her fiancé last week and she didn't want to be alone. I was so tired after finishing a major deadline, all I wanted was to go home, but she dragged me out for dinner; I passed on the drinks at the bar after, though."
She paused and breathed in and out slowly, and Elliot could hear her counting softly under her breath. It was something he remembered Kathy teaching her, as a form of meditation.
"Caught the 6 train down to the M headed home, was waiting on the platform for my train when –" She tore her donut in half, and then in half again, shredding it into tiny, bite-sized portions with her bare hands. "- this guy came up behind me and shoved me toward the tracks. I – I tried to remember everything you've ever told me, Dad." Her eyes filled with tears again, and she swiped at the errant tears that fell. Olivia mutely handed her a napkin and mouthed something Elliot couldn't decipher.
"I'm sure you did, honey," he said. Until the end of time, he could tell people how to fight back against a prospective attacker, but he knew as well as any of them the instincts that overrode every other sense when in the heat of the moment. Sometimes, nothing else worked besides the sheer basic instinct toward survival and self-preservation.
"I tried to fight back, but he was strong, and no one was paying me much attention. When he pushed me a second time and I fell onto the tracks, I heard him tell me, 'tell your mom she made such pretty fireworks.' That – that's how I knew – that's how – oh."
Elliot felt his stomach turn over and retch, and he wanted more than anything to vomit the donuts he'd just eaten, or dry heave, at the very least. But he had to be supportive for his daughter. He'd promised. Olivia's face looked stricken. Even when they faced the worst of the city every day, there was a difference between it happening to someone else, and it happening to their loved ones.
"They say I landed between the roll bed and the rails, and that that was the best place to land. A couple guys helped me off the tracks once the train went by." She exhaled and buried her face in her hands. "Officer Kerry and his partner took my statement, I refused medical treatment, and then they asked if there was anywhere that they could have another officer drop me off, where I'd be safe. First thought was the old house, but, uh, I know there's a different family there now, but I had this address in my work bag, and -"
"I'm so glad you're alive," Olivia said, as she gently ran her hand along Liz's back and made eye contact with Elliot. "You were brave, and strong, and you did everything you could."
"But –"
"I won't hear any buts from you, young lady," Elliot replied. "You heard Olivia. You survived, you're here and that's the important thing right now. You're safe now with us." He wished he could believe his own words, but maybe by repeating them enough times out loud, he would begin to speak them into reality.
He stood up and gathered Liz and Olivia – two of the most important women in the world to him – in his arms and held them tightly against him. He only wished his arms were big enough to hold all his other children, as well as Noah, and protect them against the craziness of the outside world.
"We'll get them, Lizzie," he said, in a whisper meant for only the others to hear. "We'll get the guys who hurt you and your mom. I promise."
If it's the last thing I do on this Earth, I'll protect you. All of you.
Even you, Olivia.
Especially you.
Oh, his new therapist could probably pay for an all-inclusive resort vacation to Fiji and a new model Maserati with all the things he could unleash on her. Still, there was another day before his appointment, and all he could do was wait.
"This is Captain Benson," she said, answering the phone later that morning. Liz had faded off to sleep on the couch after another shower, as morning talk shows played faintly in the background, and Elliot had gone out to talk to Officer Kerry and swing by to check on the task force. She'd checked in with Fin – nothing they couldn't handle; she'd been repeatedly assured – and now she was watching over Liz. Neither of them wanted to leave her alone in the apartment.
"Yes, this is Principal Tegel, from your son Noah's school."
"Is everything alright, Principal?" She sat up straight on the couch, and was relieved when she realized she hadn't startled Liz's dozing. "Is Noah okay?"
"Ms. Benson –"
"It's Captain Benson."
"Captain Benson, we know what your position is and who you are, and we know how highly you value your son's safety as a result, which is why we called you." She heard Principal Tegel sigh. "After lunch today, when your son's class was at recess, a playground monitor noticed a stranger standing by the fence and watching the class intently. She alerted us at once, but when we talked to him, Noah indicated he'd seen the person around before and felt uneasy."
"My poor sweet boy." She looked over to Liz, who had draped her arm over the armrest. She knew the fear that raced through her heart at the thought of anyone harming Noah was the same fear that had fueled Elliot's sense of justice and purpose since long before she'd known him. "Is there anything you want me to do?"
"Is there any way you can come and pick him up? Or have –" she heard clicks in the background, "Lucy Huston, Sergeant Odafin Tutuola or Detective Amanda Rollins pick him up? You have them listed as your emergency contacts."
She thought for a moment. Both Fin and Rollins would love to help, she knew, but with them picking up her slack today, she couldn't ask them for yet another favor. And she seemed to remember that Lucy had an important doctor's appointment that she couldn't miss today.
"Can you add a name to that list?" It was her best shot. Worst case scenario, she could wake Liz up – no matter how reluctant she was to do that – and drive the two of them over there herself, but she really didn't want to disturb her sleep, now that she was getting some.
"I suppose we can."
"Add Detective Elliot Stabler. I'll send him over right away."
"Does Noah know this Detective Stabler?"
"They've met. He knows he's safe." How much Noah had picked up about Elliot over the years – from all the half-finished stories and the couple times he'd met him from a cautious distance – she didn't particularly know. But she knew he'd know enough to know he was safe with him. "I can send you a picture to attach to the student file."
"That would be perfect. Thank you, Captain Benson, for your understanding."
As she ended the call and sent the one recent photo she had of Elliot to the school's automated text line, she breathed out the shakiest of breaths and stared vacantly into the distance. There was no reason to suspect that anyone was after Noah – but surely, Liz had thought the same thing, not even the day before.
And now, here they were.
"Hey, Elliot?" she asked, as he picked up the phone. "Sorry to bother you, but, uh, there's been an emergency at Noah's school."
She could almost hear the panic in his voice. "Is he okay? Do you need me to do anything?"
Surely, he was imagining something horrific, and she had to quickly calm him down. "He's okay. I promise. Principal Tegel called and wanted me to come pick him up, but I had her add your name as an emergency contact, and I sent her a picture so she knows what you look like. Can you pick him up and bring him over here?"
"Absolutely. Send me the school's address and I'm on my way."
"You're a lifesaver, El."
"For you, Liv? Anytime."
-to be continued-