EXT. FUNERAL HOME – EVENING

A beat-up old Winnebago pulls up into the parking lot of a funeral home. It spews black ash and looks like its on its last limb. Out steps a college-aged DWIGHT JUNIOR RILEY, aka "DJ". He hasn't matured much since we last saw him. His hair is grown out longer and he has a scumbag beard. A passenger side door opens – his girlfriend AMBER LAKES climbs out. Total film geek, shoulder-length hair, thick-rimmed glasses. DJ runs a hand through his hair nervously and gives her an embarrassed smile.

DJ: So – ready to meet the fam?

AMBER: The famous Tatum Riley and Billy Loomis? You think they'll give me an autograph?

DJ: Um, wakes usually aren't the time to ask for autographs, Amber. Especially when they're taking a short break. Also – you didn't geek out this bad when you met my parents!

AMBER: Yeah, I mean it was cool meeting Dewey and Gale, but Billy and Tatum are the stars of the show, know what I mean?

DJ follows behind her as she walks towards the funeral.

DJ: No … I don't.

INT. FUNERAL HOME – NIGHT

We follow DJ and Amber into the funeral home. There are pictures of Great Aunt Nessa along mantles along with beautiful flowers. DJ takes Amber's hand and leads her through the lines of chairs towards the mourning family. We see the casket with Great Aunt Nessa's body – an elderly woman. Standing there, in a black pants-suit, is AUNT JONI, Nessa's daughter, Tatum's cousin and DJ's aunt. She's joined by her husband, UNCLE FRANK, who looks like he'd rather be watching a game than be here. Aunt Joni wipes her eyes, sees DJ and forces a smile.

AUNT JONI: Dwight Junior … thank you for coming.

DJ: Sorry for your loss, Aunt Joni. I'll miss visiting Great Aunt Nessa during the summers.

AUNT JONI: Well, that doesn't mean you have to be a stranger to me. (Beat) If anything, it would be good thing if you came 'round more often. I mean, look what you've done with your hair. You're gonna end up just like your father, I'm telling you -.

DJ: (changing the subject) This is my girlfriend, Amber.

AMBER: I'm sorry about your mother.

AUNT JONI: Well, it's a part of life. So how long have you two been together?

DJ: About a year.

AUNT JONI: A year? Are you guys planning a wedding anytime soon -.

DJ: Hold your horses there, Aunt Joni, let's not rush things.

AUNT JONI: Rush things?! A year is not rushing things. Your Uncle Frank asked me to marry him within six months, and we've lived happily ever after, haven't we Frank?

UNCLE FRANK: (clearly not happily-ever-after) Mmm-hmmm.

AUNT JONI: Kids these days will never know – that's exactly why your aunt and uncle didn't work out. Look how long they dragged their feet to get married. In my day, two people knew what they wanted, went for it and settled down.

DJ: (under his breath) In your day there only were two people.

AUNT JONI: I'm sorry?

DJ: Nothing. Look, can we see her?

AUNT JONI: Of course.

Aunt Joni steps aside. DJ and Amber approach the casket and kneel down in front of it. DJ closes his eyes in prayer and in remembrance of his Great Aunt. He remembers how kindly she had always treated him. He stands up, wipes his eyes and takes Amber's hand before sitting down in one of the seats to talk to another family member. He notices Aunt Joni talking to another middle-aged woman who appears somehow familiar to him. This woman is professionally dressed and is a very attractive middle-aged woman.

There's a tap on his shoulder behind him. He spins around – MARTHA MEEKS is sitting there smiling.

DJ: Martha! What the heck are you doing here?

MARTHA: Can't I say my goodbyes to an old friend?

DJ: (skeptical) You knew my Great Aunt Nessa?

MARTHA: Sure did. She had a big influence on my life. After my brother Randy was brutally murdered, I needed someone to talk to. She was a brilliant therapist, set me on course to become a school therapist myself. Me and Karen Kolchec over there.

Martha motions to the attractive, finely dressed woman talking to Aunt Joni. DJ is skeptical.

DJ: Wait a minute … that's Karen Kolchec? Creepy Karen?

MARTHA: It's called a makeover. Karen was good friends with Randy, heck I think they may have even hooked up once or twice. She took his death pretty hard, went to therapy too. Nessa inspired us both it seems. Karen went on to become an award-winning psychologist, frequently published in academic journals … and I went on to become a school therapist.

DJ: You sound bitter.

MARTHA: Meh, all that glamour and fame isn't what wets my whistle. I prefer following in Nessa's footsteps, helping at-risk kids. Oh crap, here she comes.

Karen Kolchec extricates herself from Aunt Joni and approaches DJ and Martha.

KAREN: Martha, lovely to see you. It's a shame about Nessa, she was such an inspiration. How are you doing by the way, I hear you've been working at our old stomping grounds?

MARTHA: Yes, Woodsboro High.

KAREN: Really? I would've thought someone as intelligent as you would've shot higher academically.

MARTHA: Not all of us care about prestige, Karen. You chose to get a gig as Head of the Psychology Department at some booshie university and I chose to help at-risk kids.

KAREN: You mean like Jill Roberts?

Martha frowns. She has nothing to say. Karen turns her attention to DJ.

KAREN: Ah, this must be Dewey and Gale's son. (Shakes his hand) Karen Kolchec, I knew your parents back in the day. Haven't seen them in years. Your Mother used to write me the most lovely cards. It's a shame she and I have lost touch. Hopefully we reconnect through all this. I'll be in town for a while – there's a convention in the City. Martha – you look good. Let's do lunch one day this week!

Martha sits there fuming as Karen walks off to talk to another family member. That's when they hear it.

GALE: I told you that shortcut would make us late!

DEWEY: I got us here in one piece, didn't I!?

DEWEY and GALE enter, both dressed in black for the occasion. DJ stands up with Amber and smiles, hugging his parents.

DJ: Mom! Dad!

DEWEY: Hey son, long time no see. Half expected you not to show.

DJ: I know, I've been busy lately –

GALE: Too busy to even call your own mother? (Smiles) Hi Amber.

DJ: I've just – had a lot going on. With film school.

GALE: (through gritted teeth) We'll talk later, here comes Aunt Joni, the vicious witch. (Fake-smiles) Joni!

The two embrace. Aunt Joni kisses her on both cheeks.

AUNT JONI: Gale! You look terrific! You lost so much weight!

GALE: (through her teeth) Thanks Joni. I like what you did with your hair. It really screams 'I'm in charge and want to speak to your manager!'

AUNT JONI: Well thank you, I – TATUM!

Aunt Joni shoves Gale out of the way and embraces TATUM RILEY. Tatum appears … healthy. For the first time in a long time she actually looks and feels great.

TATUM: Hi Joni, I would've gotten here sooner but -.

AUNT JONI: Oh, but nothing, you look absolutely fabulous!

TATUM: Two years cancer-free will do it!

AUNT JONI: And one year Billy-free!

TATUM: Yeah, let's … let's not talk about Billy. I told him not to show up tonight.

AUNT JONI: Well there's a smart girl, a funeral is the last place to bring that kind of … drama. But new beginnings often come out of old ends! We can finally reconnect, go out, live it up like we did in the old days!

TATUM: That … that actually sounds fun. I've missed you, Joni.

The two embrace.

AUNT JONI: So … besides all the Billy drama, how have things been?

TATUM: Oh, you know I still get a lot of fan mail from Stab fans these days. "I'm your biggest fan," "I'm your long-lost son," "How do you wanna die?" You know, the usual.

AUNT JONI: Glad to see the divorce hasn't soured your mood.

TATUM: Separation, Joni. We're not divorced, we're still technically married.

AUNT JONI: (smiling) For now.

EXT. FUNERAL HOME – NIGHT

Another beat-up old car pulls into the parking lot. Inside, we see BILLY LOOMIS. Worse for the wear. His hair longer and unkempt, his face unshaven with scruff. He wears a black suit, with an askew tie. He stares at the funeral home, shakes the bangs out of his eyes and sighs.

BILLY: (to himself) Welp, here goes nothing.

INT. FUNERAL HOME – NIGHT

The family sits around in chairs, all having their own private conversations. They fall silent as Billy enters the room. He feels all eyes on him. He straightens his tie and makes a b-line straight for Dewey, Gale and DJ. Gale rubs her arm awkwardly after she hugs him.

GALE: Billy – er, we weren't expecting you …

DJ: Uncle William – you've stepped right into the viper's nest.

BILLY: Yeah, I know. Is Nicky here?

DJ: (folding his arms) Late … like usual.

BILLY: Figures.

He steps past them and towards the casket. Aunt Joni stops him in his tracks.

AUNT JONI: And just what the hell do you think you're doing here?

BILLY: Joni. I know this may be a foreign concept to you, but I'm actually here to pay respects to your mother.

AUNT JONI: Oh, isn't that nice, pay respects. How about all that money she lent you and Tatum that you squandered, you gonna pay me back for that?!

BILLY: I don't want to fight, Joni.

AUNT JONI: No, you came here to start drama at my mother's funeral of all places! I mean look at you – hair unkempt, beard askew, smelling of alcohol, showing up when you're definitely not wanted! You know how they say you marry your parents? Well John may have technically been Tatum's adoptive father, but you are his spitting image! The way he treated Renee – my goodness Tatum couldn't have married a better clone of John if she tried!

Tatum stands up, putting her arm on Joni's wrist, motioning for her to relax. She glares angrily at Billy and he stares just as angrily back.

TATUM: Joni, let me handle this.

AUNT JONI: Tatum, you're not in your right state of mind. He'll say or do anything -.

TATUM: (warningly) Joni!

AUNT JONI: Don't fall for his tricks, Tatum! I'll be right over here in case he tries to charm you over with that forked tongue of his!

Joni turns, speaking with several other family members. Tatum folds her arms, stares up at Billy.

TATUM: What are you doing here, Billy?

BILLY: I told you, I wanted to pay my respects for Nessa! I'll do that, then I'll leave.

TATUM: Yeah, you will.

BILLY: You don't even want to talk to me?

TATUM: We have talked. You refuse to listen.

BILLY: I told you the truth!

TATUM: No, you told me what you thought I wanted to hear.

BILLY: Over twenty years together, and this is it? I save your life three times. All that drama in high school. This is all I get, not even a chance to explain?!

TATUM: (Exploding) Explain? Explain?! Explain all the long nights you worked!

BILLY: Overtime.

TATUM: The woman's panties in your backseat!

BILLY: I told you I have no idea how they got there!

TATUM: You want to talk about throwing two decades away?! You wanna talk about throwing away everything we've been through?! You did that Billy when you cheated on me you son of a bitch!

The entire room is silent. Tatum bursts into tears. She hides her face.

TATUM: I – I can't - …

She turns, racing down the room towards a bathroom. Joni follows her, giving Billy a death glare.

AUNT JONI: Don't you think you've done enough damage?!

She vanishes after Tatum. Billy stands there, everyone staring at him.

BILLY: I never cheated on her.

He turns, looking over at Dewey and Gale for support. They both look away. Billy closes his mouth and nods firmly.

BILLY: Okay … fine … I'll leave …

He turns to walk away – someone stops him and slips him a business card. He looks at Karen Kolchec who smiles sadly and sympathetically.

KAREN: I've helped a lot of families who've gone through what you're going through. If you ever need anyone to talk -.

BILLY: Thanks, but I don't need a shrink.

We hear Joni's voice from another room – somehow she heard them.

AUNT JONI: (V/O) Yes you do!

Billy turns, seeing all eyes still on him. He places Karen's card into his pocket, nods and curtly walks out the door. As he reaches the door, Nicholette appears with her boyfriend Danny. She seems shocked to see her father.

NICHOLETTE: Dad?

Billy nods as he passes her.

BILLY: See you, Nicky.

He vanishes through the door. Nicholette turns, sees the family now staring at her. Late for her own aunt's funeral. Her eyes widen.

NICHOLETTE: What? What'd I miss?

EXT. FUNERAL HOME – NIGHT

Billy sits down on a stoop outside the funeral home, hugging his legs, staring up at the moon. He opens his phone, swipes through pictures. He sees old saved photos of him with Tatum and Nicholette, smiling, happy. He smiles to himself, before he reaches an older photo from over twenty years ago. When he and Tatum were just young teenagers in love.

He angrily chucks his phone and buries his head in his knees.

INT. FUNERAL HOME – NIGHT

The family has begun to disperse for the evening. Aunt Joni and Uncle Frank are thanking their guests.

AUNT JONI: Yes, no she'll be cremated. Tonight. Promptly at midnight per her wishes. Yes, I'm so glad you could come. It was a lovely service even with all the unwelcome drama.

Tatum is still sitting with Nicholette and Danny.

TATUM: I was hoping you'd come stay with me tonight.

NICHOLETTE: Well … we already had plans, Mom. Danny and I are going into the city to meet up with Kirby and a couple of her friends.

TATUM: You made plans? On the eve of your great aunt's funeral?

DJ leans in from the seat behind them.

DJ: Par for the course.

NICHOLETTE: What does that mean?

DJ: Meh, it's just typical behavior. Remember when you had me chasing you across town on a train because you decided to go on a date with a killer on the loose?

NICHOLETTE: I don't understand, is this gang up on Nicky time? Because if it is -.

TATUM: No one's ganging up on you. It's just that we haven't seen you – I haven't seen you and I was just hoping you would spend some time with your Mother.

DANNY: We'll be in town for a couple of days, Mrs. Loomis. I'm sure we can visit with you this week.

TATUM: I was hoping for some mother-daughter alone time.

DANNY: Well … I'll make sure that happens. I'll find some time in Nicky's schedule -.

TATUM: (interrupting) You'll find some time? I was under the impression my daughter was a grown woman.

NICHOLETTE: Mom – let's talk about this tomorrow. Danny just planned our entire week out, he made reservations every night and -

TATUM: You're always busy with Danny. Always.

DANNY: Can I interject here -?

TATUM: No.

Nicholette stands up.

NICHOLETTE: We'll talk tomorrow, Mom. Like you should have talked to Dad.

TATUM: Is that what this is about? Because your father -.

NICHOLETTE: That's enough. What you put that man through is unforgivable.

TATUM: What I put him through? I was a loyal wife! A good mother! He -.

NICHOLETTE: I said that's enough.

She takes Danny's hand and walks out the door. Tatum watches her, shaking her head. As Nicholette and Danny leave, two police officers enter the building. Tatum cocks her head, watching as they converse with Aunt Joni. Joni's hand goes to her mouth. The cops approach Tatum, Aunt Joni right behind them.

COP #1: Mrs. Loomis?

TATUM: Yes?

COP #2: You live at an apartment registered –

TATUM: Just get to the point.

COP #1: Your apartment was broken into this evening. Ransacked. We don't know who -.

AUNT JONI: I'll tell you who, it was that no-good cheating, backstabbing SOB ex-husband of hers. He just left not too long ago, you can catch him -.

TATUM: Was anything stolen?

COP #1: Not that we can tell, but we'll need you to come to the station to give a statement.

COP #2: It's probably not a wise idea to stay at your house tonight. At least until we catch the perpetrator.

DJ: You can stay with me, Aunt Tatum!

GALE: Where, in your Winnebago?

DJ: I do not live in my Winnebago! (Beat) Okay, I'm living in my Winnebago …

AUNT JONI: But this is perfect! Tatum, you and I have been meaning to catch up, this is the perfect excuse! You can come stay with me!

Dewey and Gale exchange nervous glances. Tatum warmly smiles.

TATUM: You know what – after Billy's stunt tonight, I'd like that.

AUNT JONI: And Frank doesn't mind, do you Frank?

UNCLE FRANK: (Barely even listening) Hmm? Oh, no, not at all.

AUNT JONI: Oh, you and I are going to have so much fun! We're gonna hit up the clubs, go dancing, drinking -.

DEWEY: Wow, let's not get my sister into any trouble.

AUNT JONI: Oh Dwight, have I ever gotten her into trouble?

DEWEY: Yes. You got her arrested for drunk driving when you were in college.

AUNT JONI: Oh, that's all in the past, I'm responsible now. What do you say, Tatum?

TATUM: I say, let's recapture our lost youth!

She follows Aunt Joni and the cops out the door. Dewey rubs his sinuses and DJ folds his arms.

DJ: No way this ends well.

DEWEY: I'll say.

GALE: Your sister's a grown woman, Dewey. As much as you don't like to face those facts. She can make her own decisions. Besides … maybe I wanna go clubbing with them too.

DEWEY: I thought you hated Joni.

GALE: Not more than I love a good time!

EXT. FUNERAL HOME – NIGHT

We follow Nicholette and Danny outside the funeral home. Danny wrenches open his car door. Nicholette silently enters the passenger seat. There's a moment's silence.

DANNY: What the hell was that?!

NICHOLETTE: I know, my Mother is -.

DANNY: You made me look like a complete asshole!

NICHOLETTE: What? What are you talking about?!

DANNY: Your mother already doesn't like me, then you go ahead and tell her that I have our entire week booked?! She probably thinks I'm some controlling douche!

NICHOLETTE: I'm sure she –

Danny grabs her arm. He's in her face. He applies pressure and for a moment, Nicholette feels a twinge of fear.

DANNY: Never make me look bad in front of your family again! Do you understand?

NICHOLETTE: Danny –

DANNY: I SAID DO YOU UNDERSTAND?!

NICHOLETTE: You're hurting me!

Danny releases her arm as though he's been stung. He runs a hand through his hair.

DANNY: I – I'm sorry, I don't know what came over me … it's just – you get me so worked up and you know I would never hurt you but then you know how to hit all my buttons –

Nicholette stares at him. He turns. He's smiling now.

DANNY: You know I love you Nicky. Right?

Nicky stares at him.

DANNY: (subtle danger in his voice) Right?

NICHOLETTE: Of course …

DANNY: (putting the car in gear) Great! Now, where were we supposed to meet Kirby and her friends at?