A Sisterly Secret

Those plastic chairs in the waiting area were very uncomfortable, which was surprising given how exclusive the private clinic was. It catered only to the wealthy and famous and really…

"It will all be fine." Lyssa chided her in a gentle voice, covering her hands with hers before she could fold the paper she was playing with again. She had unfolded and folded it again so many times it was starting to fray.

"Of course, it will be." she answered in a mutter, glancing around because they weren't alone. There was a couple in the corner – and, despite the sunglasses and the hats, she was fairly sure they were both famous actors – and two single women, one of which ran in their mother's circles. The other was an anchorwoman for Capitol TV and she had looked at Effie funny.

Not for the first time, she congratulated herself on having enlisted Lyssa's help. It was the second time in two weeks they found themselves in that waiting room. Both times she had booked the appointment under Lyssa's name so she could pretend to come along for solidarity sake.

That had worked out like a charm for both of them, as it turned out. Exclusive clinic or not, gossip was always rampant in the city and Elindra had found out about their visit within three days. She had immediately decided that Lyssa's reluctance to have a third child must be because she was having troubles conceiving – or because of a lady problem that Lyssa was not willing to divulge yet – and had advised Rufus to stop pestering his wife for a while. Lyssa was very pleased with their little subterfuge's results.

As for Effie, nobody suspected she was actually the one consulting the very high profile doctor – if there had been any doubt, it would have blown out in the medias by then – and since Haymitch would never have been able to come with her… Well… Having her sister there as support wasn't a bad thing.

The last appointment had been pretty standard. The doctor had ordered tests… She had done the tests. Now she was going to find out exactly how bad it was and what the game plan would be if they decided to try and…

It still sounded crazy to even think about it.

"I meant to tell you… I started seeing someone." Lyssa said with some sort of nervous energy.

Effie had been coaching herself into not reacting at all when the doctor would tell her she would never be able to carry a child to term and, thus, was taken quite by surprise by that declaration.

"I beg your pardon?" she exclaimed. Too loud. Everyone in the waiting room turned their head to look at them. They lost interest quickly but the anchorwoman's gaze lingered a little longer than the others and Effie hoped there would be no article about how she was visiting a private clinic known for fertility issues… She lowered her voice. "What do you mean you are seeing someone? You are cheating on Rufus? Who is it? Do I know him? Is he handsome? How long has this been going on?"

Lyssa didn't seem very impressed with the rush of excited questions. She pursed her lips and looked at Effie with that expression that was slightly reminiscent of Elindra's…

"Of course, I am not cheating on my husband." her sister huffed. "I meant someone as in… A councilor." She made a small face and amended. "A therapist."

Effie's eyes widened. She glanced around again, she couldn't help it, and lowered her voice even more. "A therapist, really?"

"No need to make it sound like a bad thing." Lyssa grumbled.

"No, no, not at all…" Effie hurried in protesting, shaking her head a little. "It is just… It surprised me, that's all."

The way they had been raised… Well, exposing her problems to a strangers, even to get help, didn't sound like something Effie would ever voluntarily do. She had enough troubles opening herself to Haymitch about her deepest fears and issues. Elindra and Tadius had always been very clear that family matters were to be dealt within the family and should go no further. Privacy was…

"I know." Lyssa sighed. "I feel quite rebellious… Do not tell anyone, dear. Nobody knows. They think I go to a Pilate class every Tuesday afternoon…"

"Your secret is safe with me." she promised. That was only fair after all. She had been piling quite a number of secrets on her sister lately. First there was her whole relationship with Haymitch – not that it was a secret per se but… – and now the baby thing… Well… There probably wouldn't be a baby to speak of. Still… "How did that happen?"

The secretary, all smiles, called an obviously fake name and the couple of famous actors stood up and followed her, leaving them alone with the other two women. They all exchanged polite looks and then Effie turned a little in her seat to give Lyssa her full attention.

It beat focusing on her racing heart as the clock irremediably ticked toward the moment they would call her sister's name and the doctor would tell her children wouldn't be happening.

"Things have reached a very… low point with Rufus." Lyssa hesitated, shooting a furtive glance to the woman they were both sure Elindra knew. She lowered her voice to such a murmur Effie could barely hear her. "He is now trying to sell me the idea of a third child by saying it could be a girl and I have always wanted a girl so…" Lyssa waved her hand in dismissal. "I made a counter-proposition. I suggested we went to see a marriage councilor."

"Couple therapy?" Effie whispered. "I cannot imagine he was happy with that."

Rufus, like her parents, had very specific ideas of where familial problems ought to be dealt with. All the old Capitol families were like that.

"He was not." Lyssa pursed her lips. "He actually laughed at me and called me names. I was not pleased."

Effie's face hardened. "What did he say?"

"Nothing I would care to repeat." her sister sighed.

Her sister's marriage still looked perfect from an exterior point of view. There had been a picture of them not too long ago in a magazine… They still seemed like the perfect couple.

It goes to show, Effie mused.

"You know you can go to my apartment any time, right?" she insisted. "You can even come and stay with us if he become too much of an annoyance. My… assistant would like it better this way actually. He is worried about the boys."

She couldn't say Haymitch's name in public. Not when ears were so obviously trying to listen in to their conversation.

"Rufus would never hurt the boys." Lyssa retorted. "Or me for that matter. Do not go and imagine terrible things about him. We are having a rough patch but he is not a bad man."

She wasn't so sure about that but she hummed nevertheless. "So? How did you end up in therapy?"

"Since he would not come with me, I decided to go anyway." Her sister shrugged. "I had already made the appointment so I thought… Why not? I needed to vent and you were not answering your phone."

Effie winced. "Sorry."

She tried to be better about picking up when Lyssandra called but… It wasn't like her job gave her a lot of free time for personal phone calls…

"Nonsense, you are tremendously busy." Lyssa dismissed. "Anyway… I decided to go. Obviously couple therapy with only one person does not truly work but they referred me to someone else and… voilà. It is quite refreshing. You should try it sometimes."

"Maybe." It made Effie wonder though… Lyssa had always had a lot of friends but if she didn't feel comfortable talking to any of them about this… Did that mean Effie was the closest thing to a real friendship she had? That was sad if that was the case. For as close as they had gotten over the last few months, Effie still went to Portia first. Sure, she couldn't actually talk to Portia about her issues because that would have been admitting to another person she was having an affair with the President of Panem but… "Although an hour of listening to me talk about Mother and anyone would probably want to switch careers…"

"Ah, yes, Mother…" Lyssa hesitated and then lowered her voice to a barely audible murmur again, an amused expression on her face. "Do you want to hear something funny?"

Anything that wasn't how she would never be able to give Haymitch children now that he seemed to want them.

She managed not to say that out loud. "Of course."

"You cannot comment, make a face or react in any way." Lyssa warned, her blue eyes darting to Elindra's friend. Effie nodded her understanding even as a smile stretched her sister's lips. "Mother is a narcissistic pervert."

Effie's eyebrows shot high. "Did you just call our mother a pervert?"

"Narcissistic pervert." Lyssa corrected. "And what did I say about commenting? That is my therapist's best guest. In short, it means she likes to manipulate people to keep them under her thumb."

"You don't say." Effie deadpanned. "I never noticed."

"It makes for very toxic relationships." Her sister nodded wisely. "We got caught up in it without even realizing it."

Oh Effie had realized it alright, and a long time ago, but she didn't want to ruin whatever breakthrough her sister thought she was having so she simply nodded along with her.

"Mrs Flavershym?" the secretary called.

Effie's heart was suddenly racing again. She stood up at the same time as Lyssa, her ears ringing, her fingers tingling… Her breath was short…

"Are you alright, darling? You look deathly pale…" Lyssa worried, looping her arm around hers to offer some support.

"I am fine." she lied. "It is you we should worry about."

She said that last part loudly enough for the anchorwoman to catch. The lukewarm curiosity on the woman's face immediately vanished and she went back to her magazine.

Effie wasn't sure how they made it from the waiting room to the doctor's office and she wasn't entirely sure either about the particulars of what was said. She answered questions when asked but she felt so faint… She felt dizzy, her heart was racing, her breath was coming out in embarrassingly loud puffs…

Having a panic attack in her OB's office wasn't exactly something she was proud of.

Lyssa had to carry most of the conversation after that, once she had recovered and was sipping tepid water in a paper goblet. It was Lyssa who asked pertinent questions, Lyssa who asked about delays and consequences and what not…

Effie's ears were still ringing from what the doctor had said before she embarrassed herself.

She walked out of the clinic on autopilot, not even noticing Gale falling in line behind them… The clinic was exclusive enough that security had denied him entry and she had forbidden him from making a fuss.

"Effie? Effie, do you need to sit down for a second?" Lyssa urged. "Look, there is a tea parlor just a block away…"

"I need to go back to work." she heard herself say. And it was the absolute truth. She needed to go back to work. Plutarch wasn't happy with the amount of personal time she had been taking lately. She had needed a whole day off to do the exams the doctor wanted and… Or maybe he wasn't happy with what he suspected she had taken the days off for. There was no way he was buying she was taking time off to go with her sister to medical appointments that weren't life threatening. He knew her better than that. "I should tell Haymitch."

Lyssa's smile was soft when she hugged her. "Yes, you should."

Effie hugged back, thinking it really wasn't a bad thing that they were becoming huggers…

She managed to walk to her car but her legs were shaky and she honestly didn't think she should get behind a wheel right then so she turned toward Gale. Usually the Peacekeeper followed her in his own car.

"Could you drive?" she asked, handing him her keys.

He pocketed them but nodded at the black SUV packed a few cars behind hers. "Let's take mine. I'll send someone back for yours." She didn't even discuss it, which seemed to alarm him a little. She sat in his passenger's seat and stared at the traffic through the windshield. After ten minutes, Gale seemed properly spooked by her uncharacteristic silence. "Are you alright?"

"I don't know." she whispered and left it at that.

The Mansion was loud.

It was always loud. There were many people on the open office floor having conversations, phones ringing, computer running, copy machines buzzing, dispatch runners hurrying around… She had been so lost in her own head, the noise shocked her.

She dropped her jacket and purse on the couch in her office, riffling through the memos that Peeta handed her, barely listening to what the young man had to report… No emergency. Nothing requiring immediate attention.

She made her way to the Presidential office, stopping at Katniss' desk. "Is he free?"

Katniss studied her for a second with a touch of concern before she waved her in. "He's waiting for you."

The girl didn't ask how it went – because, obviously, the whole thing was a secret but there was little you could hide from one's assistant so both Peeta and Katniss were aware of where it was she had been going.

Haymitch looked up the moment she stepped into the office and was walking around his desk by the time she had slowly closed the door.

He took one look at her and his face fell. "Not good?"

She wondered what exactly she must have looked like. Pale, certainly. Still wobbly from the panic attack, probably. With a lost expression on her face she didn't seem to be able to shake off.

"I…" she started and then reached for the back of the uncomfortable couch to steady herself.

Haymitch was right there suddenly. One hand cradling her elbow, the other at the small of her back… He had a worried expression on his face. "Sweetheart, it's okay. Look… We can adopt, yeah? Nobody's gonna say no to the President… Ex-President… That's probably gonna have to wait until we're done here but…"

"No." she cut him off. She licked her lips. "No, it isn't… We can… I was expecting…"

She hadn't been optimistic and she had been telling him for two weeks the doctor would probably say it was hopeless. Their best shot, as far as she had understood it, was IVF and she had been fully prepared to be advised to try that method – which would have presented a number of problems since that would mean Haymitch would have to go to the clinic at some point but… He had said they would work something out, that it wasn't an issue.

"You wanna sit?" It wasn't really a question. He guided her to one of the visitor chairs facing his desk and took the other one. He leaned forward and grabbed her hand, squeezing her fingers once. "So, what did he say? It'd be the in vitro thing?"

She shook her head, her eyes filling with tears, her throat closing. "He says we can try naturally first. There's a treatment… Injections. To stimulate ovulations." She took a deep breath. "He says we can reevaluate in a year and turns to IVF if it fails but… He said he's optimistic that the fertility treatment would work and… If it takes, they would watch the pregnancy closely but…" She took another deep breath. "We can… We can try. It wouldn't be… It wouldn't be too invasive or…"

She touched her face with her free hand, utterly overwhelmed.

"Any risks?" he asked. "With the treatment?"

"The expected side effects… Nausea, hot flashes… That sort of things. Nothing I should not be able to handle." she whispered.

"You're shaking." he remarked.

"I may or may not have had a tiny panic attack…" She winced. "I was so sure he would say…"

"A panic attack?" he cut her off, clearly panicking himself. "Should have come with you…"

"Right. Because that would have been very, very discreet." she huffed. "The motorcade would have been a great way to let Panem know we are thinking about…" She swallowed hard. She had tried not to say it too much out loud, not even when she had explained to Lyssa why she needed her help – and to borrow her identity. "About having a baby." It was either laughing or sobbing so she chose to laugh. Even if it sounded a little hysterical. "We are going to try for a baby."

She was grinning suddenly.

Haymitch seemed wary of her mood swings but smirked a little. "So you're decided, then? Cause it's on you, sweetheart. I told you, I'm fine with either… If you wanna…"

"We are going to try for a baby." she repeated, leaving her chair to perch on his lap. His arms immediately wrapped around her. "A baby… Our baby…"

He smirked but there was still a touch of concern in his grey eyes. "Yeah… But our baby won't happen overnight so we're gonna be reasonable and not get really depressed if it doesn't work the first time. Right?"

She pursed her lips. "By that we, you mean me, and I resent the implication that I cannot be reasonable. I understand it is a long shot, Haymitch. Trust me, nobody understands that more than I do. I just…I truly thought there was no hope at all or that it would be slim at best. The doctor said… Well, there are issues but he said it is not as bad as I made it out to be." Maybe she had been too shocked when she had miscarriaged to pay proper attention or maybe she had just built it as this whole huge terrible thing in her mind… Maybe she should take Lyssa's up on her offer to try for therapy after all. "It really could work." Haymitch still looked cautious and she frowned a little. "Are you still one hundred percent sure you want this? Because we can still…"

"I want this if you want this." he interrupted and then made a small face. "That sounds shitty. I want this. I just don't want you to do stuff you don't want."

"I was not sure about the IVF." she answered honestly. "And I thought the treatment would be heavier. What the doctor prescribed seems manageable. I want to try."

He leaned in to peck her lips.

"Then we try, sweetheart."

WE ARE TRYIIIIIING FOR A BAAAAABY! Also who wants to take bets on how long this marriage of Lyssa will last? XD Let me know your thoughts!