Chapter 9: The Decision
The three minute wait for the results was painful. So I did whatever I could to pass the time. I got dressed in comfy, flattering clothes; denim leggings, a cranberry tank top and a matching loose sweater. I also had another can of ginger ale. It actually was satisfying to have and eased the nausea that I've been having since I woke up.
The pregnancy test rested face down on the bathroom counter. I didn't want to see the results pop up. Sesshomaru looked at his phone for how much time we had left, "thirty seconds left on the timer."
My heart picked up in speed, "I'm scared, Sesshomaru." I could feel my knees wanting to buckle under me. I had that feeling that I would faint if I saw the results show up positive. Please be negative and I just have a simple stomach bug.
"I know, Rin. Just remember if the test does come back positive, I'll be with you, always." Sesshomaru pulled me closer and gently embraced me in his arms. "I've got you and I love you. You are my one and only."
"Thank you, Sesshomaru." It feels like time has frozen at this moment. More thoughts were going through my mind. Like the test would be broken and I would have to wait and take it over again. Or that something worse was wrong with me. A word I didn't want to think of.
The timer on his phone finally finished. "Do you want to see? or should I?"
"I don't know." I was scared to check, but I wanted to know now. "Maybe together?"
"Together." We both walked into the bathroom and faced the counter. Our hands overlapped the white and blue pregnancy test. Ready to turn over any second. "Ready?"
I took a deep breath, "yes," and we slowly turned the test upward to find the word PREGNANT in bold letters on the little plastic screen. "It's positive!" my tears came out more. My worst fears had come true and I dropped the test into the sink, turned around, hid my face and soaked up Sesshomaru's expensive white cotton shirt. "I'm scared." I'm carrying a little half-demon baby inside me. "How?" How can this happen when I'm on birth control?
I felt his slender fingers brush some loose strands of my hair behind my ear and rub a hand against my back. "I have you, Rin. We'll get through this together."
"How? We don't have jobs and we're still in school! Sesshomaru, are we capable of being parents at our age?"
"We'll figure something out and yes we can!" His claws ran up and down my back again. Doing what he could do to comfort me. It wasn't helping. The nausea returned and I knelt down over the toilet again. Sesshomaru was right behind me, down at my level and still rubbing my back.
As I remained over the toilet, "Sesshomaru, I don't think that I can do this."
After I relieved myself, and rewashed my face and mouth out, Sesshomaru pulled me back into my room and had me sit on his lap. "Rin, I know you can! You've been through so much worse and pulled through. You're a survivor of abuse, sexual assault and the worse massacre Japan has ever seen done by two demons." He kissed the side of my brow and rubbed my lower stomach, near my hips. "Rin, you are now carrying a precious gift right now."
How can he call it a precious gift when it wasn't even planned? "Sesshomaru, your words are meaningful, but I just don't think I'm ready for motherhood. I feel like I just need more time to grow up." I cried into his neck and shook up against him. "Sesshomaru, I'm scared that something could happen to me and my aunt and uncle somehow find out…."
"Rin, even if...I know. I know that fear is still there, but they cannot get anywhere near you. I won't let them. Even their accomplices and they will never find out." I didn't look at him and I hid my face in his neck. "One thing Rin, don't ever call them your aunt and uncle no more. They never were. The only family you have now is mine."
"I won't," I know they'll find out. They always do and I know I will face a horrible death soon. The worst way possible, with whatever they plan for me.
I nuzzled my nose on top of Rin's head. All I could smell was dandelions, pain and hot salt off of her. I miss her lavender scent and to go nine months without it will be hard. Since I now know why I couldn't feel Rin's connection this morning, so much will have to change for us starting very soon. She'll have to homeschool, myself included. We'll have to be hundred times more cautious and aware of our surroundings. I will go with her to every appointment so that no one can get within reaching distance of her.
"Sesshomaru?"
"Yes, my love?"
"What do we do from here?" I bit my lower lip. We would have to leave and head back home and...
…With a quick inhale and release, "we go and inform father and Izayoi of the news." Father is gonna be very unhappy when we tell him. I can already hear what he will have to say. The same words he told Inuyasha three years ago.
"Toga is gonna be furious with both of us." He'll have the same energy when Inuyasha told father three years ago. So it won't be so bad.
"Father will be a little furious, but he'll get over it quickly and accept his new grandchild." He accepted his first grandson very quickly. "If it makes it easier, before we go and tell father, would you rather tell Izayoi first?"
"Yes! I know she'll be a little upset when we tell her the news. I can already hear her giving both of us a lecture about being young parents and the responsibilities that come with a baby." All we need to do is have faith and we'll be great. Rin is very nurturing, mature and has that mother's care already.
"You already have all the responsibilities that come with being a mother Rin."
"I've never taken care of a baby...only one time when we babysat our nephew." She cracked a smile and I wondered what she was thinking or remembering. "It was still funny when Kenji peed on you."
"Don't remind me," first time changing him and he peed all over my new suede sweater. "I'm glad to see your smile, Rin. I want to continue to see you smile everyday."
"I'll try." I could feel her relax more and her breathing too. "Sesshomaru?"
"Yes?" I bet she's hungry.
"Can we go eat somewhere that we have never been to before?" Knew it! I know a perfect place to go eat. Though it's thirty minutes away.
"Yes, we can." Before we head out, I'll stop to get her coffee. "After you finish packing we'll head out."
The whole ride I was nauseous, which made the drive the whole lot longer. Sesshomaru had to pull off multiple times to the side of the road so I could relieve myself. It didn't bother him. He was doing whatever he could to take care of me. He was so caring to stop and get me a bottle of ginger ale and rice crackers. I hope this morning sickness doesn't last much longer.
"Rin, you should talk with Izayoi, Kagome and Sango about what they ate to help with their morning sickness." He's right. But every girl is different when it comes to that. It's usually cravings I heard that helps. For me I wanted deep fried apple fritters and salted caramel ice cream, topped with hot caramel sauce and salted peanuts.
"I will." I also told Sesshomaru what I was craving. He told me he knew of a place that would serve that type of dessert dish. It's gonna suck when I puke it back up.
We made it to Izayoi's design studio in the city after our lunch at a pastry cafe. She was in the process of starting her next collection for spring wear after just having her latest fashion show in London. I already know she has plans for our own personal wear. The guards allowed us entrance and Sesshomaru drove to the top floor, where he had his own parking space.
The air inside the parking garage was cool and eased the nausea I felt I was about to have. Though I had to hold myself because it was really cold. Strong wind blew through, almost knocking me to my feet. Sesshomaru was at my side, holding me lightly by the waist. Avoiding any tight pressure on my body. "Would you like me to carry you in?"
"No, I'm afraid I'll get motion sickness." I don't feel the need to throw up now, but I know it will eventually come. "We're almost inside. So I'll be fine from here."
"Okay."
Izayoi does know we are coming over. She was excited to see us, but we didn't tell her the reason for our visit and I can already see her reaction when she finds out that I am with child. I know she'll be a lot calmer than Toga.
He won't know till tonight.
Inside Izayoi's studio, she was busy at work, pinning fabric to her cloth mannequin. It looked like she was making a casual dress for spring. Something told me that it would be made for me. Unfortunately it won't fit me by then.
Izayoi looked up from her project, smiling towards us and pinning a pin into the fabric. "Rin! Sesshomaru! You've finally made it!" She looked at her apple watch, "I expected you to be here about an hour ago." She gestured a hand towards the new boucle couch.
"We had to make a couple of stops," Sesshomaru explained.
"Shopping?" She wondered.
"Not exactly," I explained anxiously. "Izayoi.." I was feeling nauseous again that I knelt over the couch and puked into the trash can. I hope I didn't get anything on the couch.
"Rin!" I could sense her by my side, and she began to rub my back. "Are you ill?" I shook my head no. "Sesshomaru, there's bottled water in the lounge and saltine crackers on the counter. Could you grab them?" I knew she was gonna ask me in private.
"Yes." I felt him get up from the couch, rubbed my back too and proceeded towards the lounge.
Izayoi took a seat beside me, massaging the middle of my back still. "Rin, are you pregnant?"
"Yes. I found out this morning," I let her know so she wouldn't have to ask how long I knew. "I'm scared, Izayoi."
"I was afraid this day would come. Does he know? Have you both talked about your options?"
When I felt relief, I sat back and breathed through my nose, lightly. "Sesshomaru knows. He got concerned when he couldn't feel our connection and rushed to see me this morning. We haven't fully discussed our options. Part of me is not ready for this obstacle, but Sesshomaru told me we would be great at being parents." I know abortion is out of question. I couldn't put myself through that. I would hate myself if I went that route.
"You and Sesshomaru will be great parents. I've seen it first hand when you took care of Kenji. Though I wished you and Sesshomaru took better precautions. These things do happen and I'll be there for you both every step of the way. Toga too." I know he'll give a harsher lecture when he finds out later.
"Thank you, Izayoi."
"Anytime, my dear." We hugged each other and I felt relieved hearing her meaningful words.
Sesshomaru was back with what he was ordered to bring me and handed them over, "did you tell Izayoi, Rin?" He sat on the couch arm, massaging my neck. It felt great.
"Thank you and yeah." I turned to Izayoi and asked, "after we tell….Toga later, what will be our next step?"
"Well, first get you homeschooled of course. Then I'll have an appointment set up for you to see a special OBGYN." Special? Aren't all baby doctors the same? Or do I have to see a demon baby doctor? "Do you know how far along you are?"
I should have seen it coming that I would have to homeschool. I knew if I continued at the academy, I would be the only girl pregnant. I could already hear everyone pointing and gossiping about me. Mostly the ice twins and Sesshomaru's cousin. They're the ones who dislike me the most. For Izayoi's question, I had to think back to the night of conception. I remember it was the night of my nineteenth birthday. I told Sesshomaru that I wanted to go without any barriers. "My birthday."
"So that would put you at two months." I agree. She huffed, "when are you telling Toga? You know he's gonna know when he catches a different flower scent."
"Here soon. We came to tell you first before we told him," Sesshomaru explained.
"Would you like for him to come here? Or wait till you're at home?" It didn't matter. "Or should we go to the small restaurant from three years ago?" I knew which place she spoke of. The same one when I found out I died at one point in my young life.
But I had another idea, "maybe order out and have it brought here?" It would make it less stressful without anyone hearing our conversation. I just hope I can keep my composure when we tell him.
"If that's what you want to do Rin, then I'll have Toga pick up food for us. I feel like you'll want something light to eat?" Anything with broth. I don't want anything too heavy.
"A bowl of miso will do for me." I was feeling uneasy again, but I breathed through my nose. "Izayoi, what did you have to help during your morning sickness?"
"Lots of chocolate bars, haha. I know it was bad considering my son is a dog demon, but it was the only thing I found to help relieve the nausea. I did crave soups in the beginning and then my typical food I usually eat now."
I was craving sweets and now I wanted peanut cream on coffee cookies. "Rin, do you need me to get you something from the local market?" Even though Sesshomaru can't feel our connection, at least he could see into my eyes and know that I was hungry.
"Yes."
"What can I get you?"
"Peanut cream, the extra creamy one and those coffee cookies that I like." I haven't had them in a while.
"I'll be back here shortly and I'll call father…." His face changed from soft to hard in a matter of seconds. I had a strong feeling that….
"Sesshomaru!" Toga's voice made all three of us jump to our feet. We all turned towards the door where he stood. I thought he was at work? "Is she pregnant?...Is Rin pregnant?" His heavy golden eyes were just on Sesshomaru only. He had to catch my pregnancy scent outside. Not unless he could smell me from all the way in here.
I heard Sesshomaru swallow the lump he had built up in his throat, "she is."
His eyes then went to me. They remained the same, heavy with anger. He's never been this angry with me before. That scares me. "Rin, how far along are you? How long have you known?"
"I'm….I'm…." I was feeling more queasy now that I left them all behind and ran for the bathroom.
On the other side of the door I could hear Toga demanding Sesshomaru to tell him everything. It was very heated the way Toga spoke. I think he is more incandescent than he was with Inuyasha. Though I wasn't there when they all spoke. "Rin is two months along and we both found out this morning." Sesshomaru on the other hand was more composed. Though I know he's scared.
More vomit came out as I couldn't hear what Toga asked next. But for whatever he asked, it seemed like Sesshomaru already had the answer he hoped Toga would accept. "Allow me to work with you. Or…." Or what?
"You have something else in mind? If your thoughts are to marry, then no." Marriage? Why would we….the will my parents left! It's stated that if Sesshomaru and I were to be married we would inherit money they left. The amount they left was equally separated for me and my siblings if any harm came to our parents and we were placed with the Tashi's care. But since I lost all of them that fateful night, I was left with everything. I don't know how much it is, but I would save it and put it towards….I rubbed my belly where our child was growing. That money would go towards our baby and other things before our needs.
"I have, father. It is stated in Rin's family's will that if we were married that money would be left for us and be used for whatever we put it towards. That money would help us raise our growing family and….go towards…." Go towards what? Are they whispering about something that I can't know?
"Sesshomaru, no. It will….Izayoi, go check on Rin. Sesshomaru and I will go speak outside." What are they gonna talk about?
"Yes, dear." I heard one door open and knock on the bathroom door. "Rin?"
"Come in!" I couldn't move. I was still unwell.
"They'll be back soon. They went to get our lunch." I have a feeling they'll talk the whole time about everything.
"Can I get you anything?" She was now on the floor, rubbing my back for comfort again.
"No...Izayoi, what were they talking about a moment ago?" I hope she understands what I meant.
"I can't tell you, dear. Toga and Sesshomaru both told me that it can't be revealed," is it something serious?
"Something bad?" I want to know!
"No, dear. It has nothing to do with what's going on right now with the pregnancy or with the jailbreak. It's just….something that's not ready to be revealed."
"When will I know?"
"Well, since you'll have to homeschool now, so sometime around you graduate high school." Spring time isn't far.
"So about April or June?"
"Yes! It would also be around the time you give birth!" She announced, combing her fingers through my hair. "I apologize for the way Toga reacted. Rin, just understand he'll come around and be his usual self. It's just work has been getting rough with all that has happened these past two months. He still can't get any info on the grave robbers from the photos he's received from an anonymous tip."
"Izayoi, I understand and….would Toga allow Sesshomaru and me to work for him?" I'm nineteen, so he could allow me, even though I don't have a college degree.
"That I'm not sure, Rin. I would wait to ask until we get everything done getting you back home and after your appointments I have to set up. You don't want to rush this quickly or you'll do harm to yourself." Izayoi's right! I don't do well if I overdo it. "I think it would be better to just have Sesshomaru work and you focus on finishing school."
"Okay." I was feeling a bit better that I could finally move.
"Sit down, dear. I'm gonna fix your hair."
"Thank you, Izayoi." I love her motherly charm.
"Anytime." She combed her fingers through my hair and pulled it back into a tight braid. "Just give this time for Toga to cool down and he'll be his usual self again." I know what she means. The news hit him pretty hard. I know in time that he'll come to accept this new grandchild. "There you go! Now if you feel sick again, at least your hair will be out of your face." I only smiled.
After a while, Sesshomaru and Toga returned with our lunch and we all spent that time discussing the plans for the future. I would be starting homeschool in the coming weeks and Sesshomaru would continue with school and begin to work with his father. Since I wouldn't be protected by the barrier that once surrounded the academy, I wouldn't be able to leave the house without Sesshomaru or Toga with me. These changes are gonna be a new adjustment in my life, but I'm gonna have to get used to this till the day that they are all caught and locked away forever.
Jenny Crum: Sesshomaru has such a keen sense to know when his love is unwell. He was so caring to be there every second to see the results. Were they what you expected? How do you see Naraku and Kagura finding out that she is pregnant? Do you see them doing anything to her while she is pregnant?
VirgoJen88: No poison, just pregnancy. Were the results what you were hoping for? Naraku and Kagura can go dig a ditch, lol. What do you see them doing in future chapters?
SesshRin4ever: Was this chapter to your liking?