A/N: Hey, some people are actually interested in reading this – very cool! Thanks to those that took the time to review, much appreciated. I should point out before going any further that I'm taking Zoe's date of birth to be February 1982, based on her being not-quite 30 when she arrives in Bluebell in Sept 2011 in canon, and the celebration of her birthday in Season 3 being a February aired episode. Now, let's head back into Bluebell in 1982! :)

(For disclaimer, etc. - see chapter 1)

Chapter 2

May 1982

Ten months. Candice could hardly believe she had been living in Bluebell, Alabama for the better part of a year already. Some days she felt as if she had been there her whole life, that living the way she did now was completely normal. Other days, other nights, she woke up from dreams of her old life in New York, of what it might have been with Ethan. The wedding they would've had, the house, the home, a child she might have made with him.

Not that she regretted the baby she had, not exactly. When Candice looked down at the little bundle in her arms, most of the time, she smiled. Sometimes, she cried too, but that wasn't poor little Zoe's fault. She was the sweetest child. A little loud sometimes when she got upset, but mostly happy. Happy and hardy as the old phrase went.

Harley doted on the child, on Candice too. He was everything he promised to be and more. Candice couldn't fault him. She really couldn't find anything bad to say about her husband or the town they lived in, not the house or the neighbours or anything. Everybody was good and kind, everything was nice and calm and peaceful... and Candice felt as if she were going crazy in the middle of it all.

"You're not happy."

Those words from Jackie's mouth startled Candice so much she physically jumped, then worried for Zoe who was supposed to be securely held in her lap. Adjusting the baby on her knees, she was relieved to see was fine and sleeping yet.

"I'm sorry," she said to Jackie then. "What did you...?"

"I said you're not happy," her friend repeated, "and you know that's what I said. Come on, Candice, you can talk to me. I get the feeling this has been going on a while now, and it ain't just the baby blues either, is it?"

The thought had occurred to her that it could be. Candice knew that some women suffered more than others after the birth of a child. Post-natal depression, that was what they called it, but Candice was already sure that wasn't what she was suffering from. It had been going on a while now. Besides, she had these feelings long before, off and on.

Some days, it wasn't so bad. Sometimes, she could go a week or even two without feeling out of place, without wondering what was going on back home in New York, without wishing she was elsewhere. It had very little to do with Zoe and it certainly wasn't Harley's fault. Candice was very well aware that she was the only one to blame here. She felt she had waited too long to confess it, even to herself. Now, Jackie was giving her the chance, and before she knew where she was, the whole truth came spilling out like water from a burst damn.

"It wasn't supposed to be like this," she admitted, knowing the tears were coming and feeling powerless to stop them, so she let them pour down her cheeks as she went on. "When I found out I was pregnant, I just... I thought I could get away with it. At first, I really thought I could just tell Ethan it was his baby and that would be that. He would've believed me, I know he would, not because he was a stupid man. I could never accuse him of that, but because... because he trusted me. That just made him a little foolish, I suppose, in the circumstances.

"Anyway, when it came to it, I couldn't quite bring myself to lie. I had to tell him the truth, knowing that if he ever found out some other way... It wasn't worth the risk. Even then, I thought he might just accept it, accept me. I thought he loved me enough that he'd forgive me one little affair and... and it'd be okay. That everything would go according to the plan.

"He said he could. He said if it was just a fling on a cruise ship, he probably could've got past it, but... but not a baby. Not my baby that wasn't his too."

She looked down at Zoe then, just as the little one stirred awake in her arms. Those big brown eyes peered up at Candice, all full of love and trust, and her heart lurched. It wasn't supposed to be this way.

"I had to keep her, and that meant I couldn't keep Ethan, or that he didn't want to keep me. My parents weren't exactly thrilled either. Getting pregnant without being married, that would've been bad enough, but I'd cheated too, and they couldn't get past that. They have all these morals and ethics... I think they must've skipped a generation with me," she said, laughing humourlessly.

"Hey, now," said Jackie kindly. "You got morals enough for me, Candice Wilkes. You told that old fiance of yours the truth, didn't you? Then you came right here and confessed it all to Harley too. Sounds pretty moral to me."

"I only came here because I had nowhere else to go," said Candice crossly, frustrated with herself for being so stupid, and with Jackie for wanting to see the good in her when she was having trouble finding it herself. "Harley, he... he loves me. I knew he loved me and I told him I loved him too. I think I did, in a way, or maybe it was just wanting what I couldn't have... and then, what I should want?"

She didn't know how to properly explain it. From the start, her feelings for Harley Wilkes had been such a mystery to her. Candice knew he was attractive, in looks and manners and way of talking. He was different, older, wiser, handsome and kind, and nothing that wasn't wonderful. He quite swept off her feet on the cruise and she was more than happy to let him.

When she came here to tell him about the baby, he had come off like the perfect combination of superhero and Southern gentleman all over again, Candice just couldn't resist. She stayed with him, married him, decided that she might as well make the best of life in Bluebell, for the baby's sake as much as her own. It might've worked, if she were a better person. If she were the type to settle, but Candice was fast realising that she wasn't that type at all. She wasn't sure she ever had been or ever could be.

"Now, you listen to me, Candice Wilkes," said Jackie then, meeting her friend's eyes and holding her gaze firmly. "You married Harley, for better or worse. You two have this beautiful baby girl right here, and that man loves you as much as any man ever loved anyone, I know it," she said without pause. "I know it's not the life you pictured for yourself, but honey, you really have to give it more of a chance than this," she urged her.

"I'm lying to him, Jackie," she said of Harley, hating herself even as she confessed the regrettable truth at last. "I tell him I'm happy, I tell him I love him with all my heart. It's not true," she said sadly, shaking her head. "This isn't the life for me. It never has been, and Zoe... she just deserves better."

"What kind of foolish talk is that?" Jackie asked her with a look. "What better could there be for a child than their own momma's love?"

Seeing Jackie with her own children, Candice could well understand the sentiment. At every turn, her friend was there for little Jesse and for baby Wade. Her boys were her world, them and Earl, anyway. Candice looked at the Kinsella family and wished it was that easy for her. She so wanted to love Harley and Zoe the way Jackie loved Earl and her boys, but somehow, she just didn't seem to have it in her.

"I'm sorry," she said eventually, sniffling hard and thanking Jackie for the handkerchief she provided. "Please, ignore me, I'm being so stupid."

"I'll say you are at that," said Jackie, the smile on her lips proving she meant no harm by it. "Candice, honey, we all have days when we feel this way. I promise you, there are times when I would love to just run off into the deep blue yonder and never look back, because Earl is being a sour puss and Jesse is driving me to distraction and Wade won't stop crying no matter what I do. But a little while later, when the world is all calm again, I know I'd never actually go ahead and leave them, not for as long as I have a choice in it," she said with her usual warm smile. "I know, deep down, that's how you feel too. You couldn't leave Harley and little Zoe, not for anything."

Candice forced a smile, nodded her head like she was agreeing, because she knew that was what she ought to do. Still, she couldn't shake the feeling that the real answer to what Jackie just said was quite different.

She could leave, if she really put her mind to it. She could run away and never look back. Some days, she thought she might just go ahead and do it. Other days, she told herself she wouldn't dare. Now it just came down to which kind of day this one might turn out to be, and whether Candice Wilkes would hold her nerve when she made her choice.

"I'm sorry, honey. Did I wake you?" Jackie asked Earl as she climbed back into bed.

"What time is it?" Earl asked, rubbing at his eyes.

"Almost four," she said, checking the clock.

"Was it Wade fussin' or Jesse?" he asked, turning to look at her properly.

"No, neither of our good boys," his wife confirmed, shaking her head. "Just me that can't settle. I'm so worried about Candice still. She really wasn't herself today."

Earl sighed, pulling Jackie close in his arms and kissing the top of her head.

"You worry too much for other folks, sweetheart," he told her kindly. "I don't think anybody cares so much for everybody else as much as you."

"You make me sound like a saint or some such."

"So you are then," her husband assured her.

Jackie laughed softly, but the humour was gone from her in a moment, the smile too. She really was so very worried about her friend, and for what might become of both her and baby Zoe in time.

"She was talking real strange today and crying so hard, my heart just broke for her," she explained. "I tried to be comforting and understanding, but it wasn't so easy. I mean, sometimes, I guess a person can think about running out on a husband or wife, that happens plenty enough, I'm sad to say," she considered, hugging Earl tighter because she never wanted to see a day when that happened in her marriage, "but a child? I could no sooner leave Jesse or Wade than I could fly to the moon. The way Candice was talking..."

"Come on, now, Jackie," said Earl, looking down at her. "You don't really think she'd up and leave that precious little bundle o' hers, do ya?" he checked. "What mother would?"

"Some do," Jackie considered. "I don't like the thought of it, but they do. I actually think what worries me more is if she were to leave with Zoe than without her. You know, Harley dotes so on that little girl of his. I think maybe his heart could stand the loss of Candice herself, maybe, but Zoe?"

"I'll admit, I never saw a man so crazy over a child," Earl admitted, "'cept maybe me with my two fine boys," he said, grinning in the very next moment.

"I want them to grow up to be good friends, you know?" Jackie smiled too then. "I got high ideas of our Wade and little Zoe being awful close, them being born so close together, and me and Candice becoming such fast friends and all."

"I'm sure they will, darlin'," Earl told her, kissing her lips, "but go to sleep a while now, Jackie. Lord knows, we'll have to get up early enough when those boys decide it's time for breakfast."

Safe in the circle of her husband's arms, Jackie finally managed to banish her worrisome thoughts for a while and get some sleep. It was only for an hour or two, but it was something at least. When she stirred again, she expected to realise it was Wade's crying or Jesse's calling that had roused her, maybe even Earl's snoring, truth be told. She never could have expected it to be the telephone. She never would've reckoned on Harley Wilkes being on the other end of the line either, frantic and panicked, asking if she had seen or heard from Candice at all in the last few hours.

"Of course not," Jackie told him quickly. "I haven't seen her since early on yesterday. What's happened, Harley?"

She asked the question, and yet, was sure she already knew the answer. As Zoe cried loudly in the background, making her presence felt, Harley had to confess to Jackie that Candice was gone. Though neither said it, they were both well aware that she was unlikely to be coming back.

To Be Continued...