A/N: Thanks to those still reading and reviewing - I honestly do appreciate it a lot, especially on a fic that is neither pure Zade nor a very easy-to-understand story (by which I mean, no-one really seems to know where I'm going with it but me! lol) Anywho, from here there is going to be a lot of Zoe & Wade, and before too long, a very happy ending. Hold onto your hats, kids! :)
(For disclaimer, etc. - see chapter 1)
Chapter 6
Lavon said the same thing as everybody else. When he called Zoe back and she told him about her mom's letter, he was so great, so understanding and cool about everything. He told her what she already knew, what George and Lemon and Wade had all said. That it was ultimately her choice to make, but maybe it was worth at least giving Candice a chance to speak her piece, rather than live forever never knowing, always wondering.
"'Course you want the rest of my advice, that'd be to tell your Daddy about this letter," he had told her firmly. "That man loves the bones of ya, Z. You know it would kill him to think you was keepin' secrets like this."
She knew he was right. He was always right. It ought to be downright annoying, and sometimes it was, but mostly Lavon was just a great brother to have, blood or no. Zoe knew any advice he gave her was perfectly sound, so she followed it, almost immediately.
The next morning, over breakfast, amongst talk of plans for the day and for the weeks of summer vacation ahead, Zoe pulled the letter from her pocket, complete with New York post-marked envelope, and pressed it into her daddy's hand. She apologised for keeping it from him, even for twenty-four hours, then urged him to read what Candice had to say. The moment he was done, Zoe barely gave him time to process before she started talking - she couldn't help it.
"I need you to know that I love you, and that whatever I decide to do about this, that will never, ever change. Mostly, I just... I need to know what you think. I need you to tell me whatever choice I make isn't going to hurt you, because I don't think I could live with that."
The soft smile on her father's lips, the way he reached across the table to take a hold of her hand and squeeze it all confirmed what Zoe ought to have already known. Where her daddy was concerned, she had absolutely nothing to worry about.
"Zoe, darlin', whatever you choose to do, I will always love you," he promised her faithfully. "And it wouldn't hurt me any to know you did or did not want to go see Candice. Now, she is your mother and no matter what she has done in the past to hurt either one of us, I do believe she loves us still, in her way."
Zoe scoffed at that, she just couldn't help it. Her father carried on regardless, without a word said about her reaction.
"That said, she hasn't been a part of your life since you were too young to remember, and I could well understand it if you made a choice to keep it that way."
It really wasn't the solid advice that Zoe was hoping for, the yes or no answer that would tell her exactly what she should do next. Of course, he wouldn't be her daddy if he went ahead and told her what to do or think or feel. Harley Wilkes believed in letting a person make up their own mind, and so, that was Zoe had to do.
She supposed, in the long run, she was glad of the chance. When she looked at all the evidence, all the good advice she had been given, and then, finally, consulted her heart on the matter, she knew what she had to do.
"I'm gonna go to New York," she said later that same day, announcing it to her father with conviction and firmness, "and I know that you did say you would come with me if I wanted you to, which I really, really appreciate, but..."
"But you'd rather do this by yourself," he said, nodding knowingly.
She agreed he was right, though Zoe began to doubt herself the second it was said. After all, New York was a big city, much bigger than any she had been to before. The furthest from home she had ever been so far was a year of college in Birmingham. That was a big enough place all its own, but New York was a heck of a lot bigger and scarier, and that was before she considered the part where she had to face her mother.
"You're awful quiet, honey," her father noted as they sat in the living room that evening, neither one as engrossed by their reading material as they seemed, apparently.
Zoe looked up at him and forced a smile that didn't quite come off.
"What we said about me going to New York alone," she said softly. "It's not that... I mean, you know I would..."
"Come on now, Zoe. Whatever it is you have to say to me, you just say it. You know, I'll not mind a bit."
That made her smile for real as she got up from the armchair and came to join him on the couch. With her daddy's arm around her, a kiss pressed to her hair, she found the comfort and strength she needed.
"Wade offered to go with me," she admitted then. "He said it before, when I first got the letter. He said if I needed him, he'd be there."
"You know, he might have himself a reputation around town for being quite the little scallywag," said her father, "but Wade Kinsella is a fine young man, when all's said and done. I can't fault him for his kindness to you anyway."
"He's my best friend." Zoe shrugged easily. "And I just think maybe it would be good to have him with me, you know, somebody neutral?"
She lifted her head from his shoulder to look at him and found her daddy smiling fondly at her.
"Zoe, if you would like Wade to go with you to New York, then that is what we'll arrange," he promised her. "It's not a problem at all."
"Thank you, Daddy," she told him, hugging him tight one more time.
Of course, he was as good as his word. Everybody knew that Harley Wilkes always was. Not that even Zoe expected him to take things in hand quite as much as he did.
Just as soon as everything was firmly decided, that Zoe definitely did want to go meet her mother and that Wade was absolutely determined to be by her side when she did so, everything was done to make it happen. It was Harley who called Candice to confirm the situation, Harley who paid for the flights and booked the hotel rooms, Harley who ensured Zoe and Wade had money enough to take with them to the big city and plans in place for where they would be and what they would do, regardless what happened with Candice.
"And if you need me at all, in any way, for any reason at all, you just call me, sweetheart," he said at the airport, hugging Zoe tightly to him. "I am always, always here for you."
"I know," she confirmed, nodding her head as they parted.
"I promise to take good care of her, sir," Wade said firmly, his hand on Zoe's shoulder.
"No doubt in my mind that you mean that, son," said Harley with a genuine smile. "You two be safe now."
He waved to them as they walked away. Zoe kept her eyes on him until the last second when she had to go through the door only open to boarding passengers. It was so strange to walk away from the only parent she had ever really known, knowing that in the next twenty-four hours she would be meeting the other one, who she didn't even remember.
"You doin' okay, Zoe?" Wade asked her, when they were finally sat alongside each other on the plane.
"Yes," she told him, before immediately shaking her head. "No. I don't know," she realised aloud. "This is just such a big deal, you know?"
"I know." Wade nodded in understanding. "Can't think of a much bigger deal than meeting your mother after all this time, and in such a place as New York City, but it'll be okay, Zo. I promise, I'm right here for ya."
Zoe had to swallow hard to keep her emotions in check when he said that, picking up her hand from the armrest and squeezing it tight.
"Thank you, Wade," she said shakily. "It means a lot to me that you're here."
"No place I'd rather be, sweetheart," he promised her, usual grin a mile wide on his face, at least until the plane started to move.
It was a first for both of them, the whole flying thing. They held hands on take-off and for a part of the journey, at least until Wade fell asleep. Zoe wished she could do the same, but she already knew it was impossible. Her mind was too busy, spinning with way too many thoughts, scenarios, possibilities.
She had seen a couple of pictures of that her father had, but they were so old, Zoe really had no idea what Candice looked like now. She wondered if, when they met, they would see any similarities between themselves. She wondered what her mother's voice would sound like, if they would have the same laugh, if they would like any of the same things.
Zoe honestly wasn't sure if she wanted to find a connection with the mother who abandoned her, or if it might be easier if she felt nothing at all when she met her at last. It was too much to figure out, though she had been trying for days enough up to this point. She supposed in a few hours, there would be no more wondering to do. She would have the truth of the situation, when she finally came face-to-face with the woman she ought to have known her whole life and called Momma, just like Wade had called Jackie.
Glancing over at her friend, still sound asleep in his seat, Zoe thought of all the years they had spent growing up together, particularly in the early days, when Wade's momma was still around. Jackie had been the best. So, kind and understanding, and yet, with a tough side too. She wouldn't stand for any nonsense, as Zoe recalled, but she loved with all her heart. She simply adored her family - Earl, and Jesse, and Wade - but she always made it clear that family didn't just mean her blood kin to her. She couldn't have loved Zoe any more if she had tried.
It almost felt like a betrayal somehow, not just to Jackie, but to Harley too. Coming away to meet a woman who never cared anything for her in real terms. Zoe's stomach twisted in knots just thinking about it, but she reminded herself that she did have her daddy's blessing in all this. Surely, Jackie would understood too. After all, she had been a friend to Candice before Zoe was ever born.
"What the...?" Wade woke up very suddenly, looking confused for a second, until suddenly he looked at Zoe and smiled. "Oh, hey, Zo," he greeted her with a half-smile, stretching himself out as much as the plane seat would allow. "Sorry, did I drop off for a while?"
"Just most of the flight." Zoe rolled her eyes, though she was smiling all the same.
"Hey, you been cryin' again?" he asked then, looking concerned.
Zoe's hand went to her face in a second and she was surprised to find her fingers came away from her cheeks damp and makeup stained. She really hadn't realised how emotional she had gotten until then.
"I was just thinking," she admitted, cleaning up her face a little, using the backs of both her hands. "Mostly about growing up and... and your mom."
Wade sighed. "You know, there were times as I recall, when you'd go home after playin' over at our house, and Earl'd say somethin' not-so-flatterin' about Candice. Momma would jump down his throat so fast, he all-but choked from it."
"She didn't like to hear anyone being mean about anyone, ever," said Zoe, remembering Jackie with so much affection.
"You got that right," Wade agreed easily, "and even though she would admit that she could never do what your momma did, she always wanted to think the best o' her. You know, she always used to say that one day she'd come back. One day, some day."
"I guess she was right, sort of." Zoe sighed. "I mean, she never came back, but she did write. She did invite me to come see her. That means she has to care a little bit, right?"
It bothered her more than she would've liked when Wade didn't immediately agree with her. Of course, she could always trust her best friend to be honest with her in all things. Honesty was better than lies, even if the truth did hurt on occasion.
"I don't know, Zoe," Wade admitted, shaking his head. "I mean, a person who leaves their kid like that, at a few months old, doesn't even write or call or anythin', for nineteen years?" he said sadly. "I'd like to think she does care. Damn it, Zoe, she oughta care about you, and not just 'cause she's your momma either. If she had any idea how amazin' you are..."
He trailed off then, clearing his throat and making a big deal of looking out of the window. Zoe felt as if somebody just hit her right in the chest. She couldn't breathe for a few moments, taking in what Wade had said. He never complimented her quite like that, never looked at her that way before. Of course, she never found herself in such a situation as this on any previous occasion. Going to New York, meeting her mother for the first time she would remember, it was all pretty unprecedented and overwhelming. Still, she hadn't expected Wade to be waxing lyrical about how amazing she was, not even in these strange circumstances.
An announcement from the pilot began then, letting them know they would be coming in for a landing in the next few moments, that everyone needed to sit up and fasten their seatbelts and all. Zoe complied, glanced over at Wade when he did the same, but neither one of them said a word. She worried something was irreparably damaged, but only for a few seconds. Suddenly Wade's hand was around hers, as the plane made its final descent towards New York, and Zoe breathed again.
To Be Continued...