(For disclaimer, etc. - see part 1)

To Be A Shooting Star

Sometimes she wonders what her life would've been, could've been. Back on the home planet, Core of the 'verse, core of a family like that. Shudders at the pictures she conjures. Nothing fits.

River went off course, but found the way in the end.

When her mind can focus, which happens more and more these days, River smiles and laughs, thinks like a woman, walks on her feet, hears with her ears. Sits among the crew, her new adopted family, and wonders at the beauty she sees.

Here are real people, like mother and father, brothers and sisters, but better. Stronger bond, a new kind of love and a promise to keep safe. Always safe within Serenity's embrace.

Then there is Jayne.

Just a soldier to most, a hero to a handful. Something much worse to those who ever crossed him and a few that just got in the way. More sinner than saint, can't deny it, wouldn't want to. After all, even a river couldn't wash away the red on her hands, in her head. They both have sins enough to bear, but together, the past isn't so dark and dangerous, and the future is bright as a new dawn.

Took a while, but all the best things do. After Miranda, when she was grown and the nightmares became shadow puppets only, then she was ready. Jayne took longer. Slow and steady, got there in the end. Asked her to look inside his head and see what lived in his heart, and so she did, and so it began.

Many a woman came before her. Some bought and paid for, others more than willing. She was willing too, and yet, understood even as he kissed her goodnight and walked away as gentlemen did, he took her to his bed in thoughts and dreams alone. She knew. She did the same, though never spoke of it.

To feel as a woman did was something River wanted, but did not speak of. For Jayne Cobb to deliver her home 'unsullied', showed respect for body and feelings both. Hadn't had much of that. Much appreciated, no matter the ache of longing left behind.

A month passed before they were dirt-side again. Second date, much like the first, but better. Strong bond formed through working close together, sitting side-by-side at meals, talking, laughing, sparring. Kissing until feelings almost ran away with them. Almost, never quite.

River knew she was ready, wished Jayne read thoughts as easily as she could.

"Actions are louder than words," she had told him as they arrived back aboard, second date accomplished, but so much more she wanted, needed from him.

Pushed up on ballet pointes, unwilling to wait longer for her chance, she kissed him. Same pleasant sensations came from the first touch of lips, but if he was willing, and Jayne always was, then River wanted it all tonight. Hoped she made it plain, realised she failed when he pushed her away, gentle but firm.

"You don't slow down in a second, woman-"

"What if the woman didn't want to?" she asked, not slipping back in using third person, only borrowing his words. "Would the man be ready, willing, able?"

Confusion was not foreign to his features. Was not exactly well-schooled in the traditional sense, though he knew the world, knew more than enough of life. Ought to know what she was offering, but River didn't blame Jayne for wondering.

"Leap into the unknown," she said with a wry smile. "Carnal is one kind of knowledge missing," she added, her hand at her own head, "and though he knows much... first time that it's mattered?" she asked curiously.

Still no reply, then slowly he reached for her hand, brought it to his own temple, closed his eyes. She smiled, a sweet invitation offered several times before. Men of few words preferred to share in other ways. Sometimes action, sometimes just 'come see for yourself.'

She knew of his experiences, not in detail, but enough. What she saw then, from his mind to hers, was the truth in what she had guessed. Intercourse was easy, casual, fun, but now for something different. Feelings, deep and all encompassing, a four-letter word that neither had spoken, but it was there, burning bright.

"Nothing to be afraid of."

Words meant for her as much as him. Eyes opened at the same time, faces much closer than before. Life just too short to wait any longer, it was agreed. Then lips met, arms wrapped around each other, and so it began at last.

All concept of time disappeared in the heat of passion. Minutes, hours, days, even the great mind she possessed could not compute. Perhaps just didn't care to. So much pleasure and joy, tears shed at the wonder and freedom, the safety and calm. Colliding emotions at every turn, but an absolute assurance that she was loved, a warmth enveloping every part of her, even when it was over. Especially when Jayne's arms were wrapped around her and hers around him.

"Worth the wait," she said softly, an absent, lazy kiss on his chest.

"Can't argue with that, bao bei," he agreed, words rumbling beneath her cheek, making her smile. "You, uh... doin' okay?"

A wider smile that made her cheeks ache came from his sweet concern.

"Feel... good, better than good," she tried to explain, sure all the words in the world wouldn't be enough. "Alive and vibrant, calm and peaceful, all at the same time. Understand?" she checked, lifting her head to meet his eyes.

"Yeah," he told her, nodding his head, mouth quirked up in a half-smile. "Reckon so."

Love. From his eyes, from his body entwined with hers, though the words were never spoken. Perhaps they never would be, but River couldn't care. Even without an ability to see inside the heads of others, she was sure she would know. Know with her heart, more than her head. Know without question.

Love from him and from her. One a perfect match for the other.

He was not far from sleep, she knew. Though River was comfortable enough for rest, sated and settled and calm, could not find it in her to close her eyes. The world was a wonder, the 'verse a great wide landscape full of possibilities, but River had lived inside her own head too long. She was afraid of the inside more than the out, and even as she recovered, got a little better every day, there were pieces missing, holes in her world, in her mind, in her soul.

Finding Serenity and family, filled in some of the gaps, but River would never flow as she should, not without Jayne. Unlikely partner in some ways, perhaps, but also the ying to her yang, the other half she needed to be whole.

A fair exchange, as she tried to fit into the gaps he had too. Now they were two and also one, and also exactly as they should be, ready to face the world. Now, they might fly, soar, burn their brightest, like shooting stars across the black, always knowing they had each other to come back to, to seek comfort and shelter when all else was over.

"Thank you," she whispered in the dark, unsure if he would hear.

"What for?" he muttered, barely awake.

River smiled. "Being Jayne Cobb."