A/N: Sorry for the delay in updates, peops. We were suffering what felt like 'Bama heat here in the UK last week and I really don't deal with that very well. Little to no writing got done, so there were no updates, but here we are, all back to normal now. Y'all ready for this big date that Zoe & Wade are planning to go on? Strap in now! ;)
(For disclaimer, etc. - see chapter 1)
Chapter 18
Tonight was the night. It had taken some fixing up, changing the schedule at the Rammer Jammer with Lemon's help, asking Lavon to pull some strings at a fancy restaurant over in Mobile, but Wade reckoned it would all be worth it. Tonight, he was taking Zoe out on the date of her life, and later, at a private table on a rooftop terrace of a real fine dining restaurant, by moonlight and candles, he was going to tell her he loved her.
"It is gonna be perfect," he told his reflection, straightening the tie he had finally gotten on straight.
Of course, when they got back home, Wade hoped Zoe might stay over with him too, which was why he had spent so much time cleaning up his place. It wasn't exactly a pig pen most of the time anyway, but for her, he made extra special efforts to make it look good, especially for tonight.
Looking around the room one more time, Wade then checked his watch and realised he had time to kill before the car arrived and he needed to go by the carriagehouse to pick up Zoe. It was more than his life was worth to be too early anyway, he knew that. Much as she was beautiful, no matter what, Wade knew how his girlfriend liked to have her bubble bath and put on her fancy dress and do her makeup just so before a date. He wouldn't mess up her plans and start the night off on the wrong foot, not for anything.
Snapping his fingers, he crossed to the stereo and the pile of CDs beside it. He had got through a lot of them in the last few weeks, figuring out what was what, since he had little memory of his music collection from before. He pulled out an album he knew contained a lot of smooth, romantic tracks and flipped on the stereo, intending to have the disc in there ready to play when he and Zoe came home tonight. He hadn't noticed the setting was still on radio. Immediately the power came on, so did whatever music was playing on the last station he had listened to.
Wade's hand halted half-way to putting the CD into the stereo. The song flowing from the speakers was familiar, beyond familiar, it was indelibly tattooed onto his brain. The melody, the words, everything. The force of the memories that came with it quite literally knocked him backwards off his feet, and he sat down heavily on the bed.
With his head in his hands, Wade swore he was going to throw up as way too many memories all crashed into him in a rush, making him beyond dizzy. His momma singing along to the radio, to this very song, then he and Earl singing the same words and melody, up on a roof somewhere. Wade saw flashes of family and friends, his parents, his brother, Lavon, Zoe. One thing after another popped up in his head, everything competing for space and priority, until he just couldn't take it anymore.
Wade Kinsella got up onto his feet and ran.
Zoe was starting to worry. No, scratch that, she had started to worry a half-hour ago. Now, she was deep into that worry and feeling as if she might drown in it. She didn't mind much when Wade was late picking her up for their date. Though his punctuality seemed to have improved a lot since the amnesia, she was more used to him being late than early, so five and ten minutes beyond the time he had told her and she didn't mind much at all. Then it was fifteen minutes and twenty, an unusual amount of time for him to be delayed, and Zoe did start to think maybe something was wrong.
Picking up her cell, she considered calling him to see if he was okay. Then she thought that was dumb when he only lived right across the pond and headed for the front door, planning to walk across and see what was going on. She stopped herself at the porch steps and turned back. No, calling was better, or maybe just giving him five more minutes. Otherwise, she might spoil some part of his plans for the night.
Ten more minutes went by and Zoe couldn't take it anymore. She hurried outside, down the porch steps, around the pond, and arrived at Wade's door, raising her fist to knock. She was surprised to find the door was not just unlocked but free to swing wide open the moment she touched it.
"Wade?" she called warily, cautiously stepping inside. "Wade, are you okay?"
He didn't answer and she couldn't see him anywhere at all. Zoe was afraid something terrible had happened, like he had fallen in the shower and hurt himself, but after checking the bathroom, and every other possible out-of-sight place that Wade could be, she realised he really was just not home.
Frowning hard, she came out of the gatehouse and headed up to Lavon's place, dialling Wade's cell as she went. It rang and rang, until finally it went to voicemail, just as she came in through the back door of the main house. Zoe closed up her phone.
"No use leaving a message if he turns out to be here," she said to herself. "Wade? Lavon?" she called into the seemingly empty house.
There was no response from anyone, no sound at all at first, and then, suddenly, a clattering of footsteps on the stairs and Lavon appeared, tying his robe around himself.
"Big Z? I thought you and Wade had your big date tonight," he checked, frowning at the sight of her. "Didn't I book the car to pick you guys up a half-hour ago?" he asked, looking to the watch he belatedly realised he wasn't wearing.
"You probably did." Zoe nodded. "But Wade never came over, so, I went to the gatehouse, but he's not there. He's not anywhere around and... and I'm worried, Lavon."
Five minutes later, Lavon had yelled for Annabeth to come down from upstairs and the three of them started a real serious search for Wade. They called everybody who might know where he was, and then, Lavon went out in the car to drive around and see if he could find his friend, while Sherriff Bill was called upon to do the same on the other side of town.
Zoe stayed at the house, with Annabeth to keep her company, just in case Wade came back of his own accord. Lemon was at the Rammer Jammer and promised to call if he came in, since it seemed a likely place he might go if he were confused or in trouble in some way and too far from home.
"I'm sure he's just fine. You know, Wade Kinsella is real good at taking care of himself," said Annabeth kindly as she placed a cup of tea in front of Zoe.
"The old Wade could take care of himself," she noted, thanking her friend for the drink, "but this version? He's not the same, AB. I mean, he is, but he's not. I love him just as much, I swear I do, but things are so different. He's so different. I'm just worried something awful has happened."
"Well, he doesn't drive since his accident, so we don't have to worry on him crashing again," said Annabeth positively, "and I can't think he's gonna walk outside of Bluebell's limits. With everybody phone-treeing the message around town and keepin' their eyes peeled, he's sure to be found sooner or later."
"But what kind of state will he be in when we find him?" asked Zoe desperately. "I mean, what made him leave in the first place? Is he upset, is he hurt? What if he's suffering some latent symptoms from his head injury? It does happen, AB. People seem fine and then suddenly... suddenly..."
She couldn't bear to finish that sentence. Zoe knew what all the words were, knew the grim reality of what happened to people sometimes, people that seemed perfectly fine, but weren't at all. She just couldn't stand the idea of anything bad happening to Wade. It would break her heart to find out something like that.
Zoe was about five seconds away from some kind of hysterical episode when suddenly her cell rang. She made such a fast grab for the phone that she almost knocked it clean off the counter. It was only thanks to AB's fast reactions that it stayed within reach and was soon in Zoe's hands. She accepted the call without even looking at the screen.
"Wade?"
"Z, it's Lavon," he told her. "Now, calm down, girl, everythin' is okay. I found out where Wade is."
"Where is he? Is he okay?" Zoe asked fast. "Oh my God, is he hurt? Is he alive?"
"Woah, woah, Zoe, breathe," Lavon instructed, "or we're gonna have more to worry about in your health than anything else. Now, Wade got himself a little worked up and he left the gatehouse, not even sure himself where he was headed, from what I can figure. He's over here at old Earl's place."
"He's with Earl?" Zoe gasped. "But I called him before, nobody answered."
"Can't say that I know why that is," said Lavon, "but this is where he's at, and I think maybe you should get yourself over here. Ask AB to drive you, okay? 'Cause the state you're in already, I don't want you behind the wheel."
"But why can't you just bring Wade back here?" Zoe shook her head in confusion. "Lavon, what is going on? What are you not telling me?"
There was a sigh from the other end of the line and then finally Lavon gave her the whole story.
"Zoe, Wade got his memories back, and before you start celebratin', he ain't feeling too good about things. There's a lot of stuff I think he was happier not knowing, a bunch of it that has to do with you and him. I really don't think you need to me to say anymore."
A cold, sick feeling went through Zoe when she heard her friend say those words. Poor Wade. His getting his memories back should be such a happy thing, a real reason for celebration, but it wasn't. When the good memories came back, so did the bad ones. Now, he knew the extent to which the two of them had been together before, their whole relationship, from neighbours to friends to casual lovers then girlfriend and boyfriend. He also recalled how that whole thing fell apart, how he hurt Zoe, how Zoe hurt him. These were things she almost wished she could forget herself.
"Zoe?"
"I'm here," she told Lavon, feeling bad for worrying him with her silence too long. "Uh, we'll be there soon. Thank you for... everything."
"No problem, Z," he promised her, before hanging up the phone.
"What is going on?" asked Annabeth, clearly so confused from hearing only Zoe's side of the conversation. "I'm guessin' he found Wade, but somethin' is not at all right, is it?"
"He remembers," said Zoe flatly, looking up to meet her friend's gaze. "He remembers everything."
Wade felt like he had ridden the world's best and worst rollercoaster all at the same time, in the last couple of hours. His whole life, every tiny piece, from his first memory of being a child of three or four, falling from his bike and skinning his knee, right up to the day he swerved in his car on the freeway and crashed himself headlong into a hospital bed, it all came rushing back in glorious Technicolor, until his head felt like it was going to explode. His momma, old Earl, Jesse, growing up in Bluebell, Golden Boy George Tucker and Lemon, high school football games, marrying Tansy, tending bar at the Rammer Jammer, a long line of women too numerous to mention, helping out Lavon at the plantation.
Then there was the fuse box and Uncle Moe's gumbo, a snake bite, a heatwave, and a ghost that wasn't, that all eventually led up to a fight in a barn during a lightning storm, and a different kind of thunder that rolled through the night between two people who waited too long. A casual arrangement that turned into something serious, the most serious relationship Wade ever had in his life, and then the mess he made of it, the fall-out. Painful mistakes on both sides that had ended with him baring his soul and her walking away. It was just way too much.
"Here ya go, son," said Earl, putting a fresh glass of water into Wade's shaking hand. "Oughta be brandy for the shock, but you know I don't have liquor in the house these days."
That at least brought a brief smile to Wade's lips and he reached out to pat his father on the shoulder.
"Thanks, Dad," he said absently, taking a long drink from the glass. "I'm sorry about all this, just showing up here and-"
"Hey, no apologies," said Earl definitely, crouching down in front of Wade's chair. "Like I already told you, I am your father, and if you need me, I am always here for you to come runnin' to. God knows, you done your share in looking after me these past years when you shouldn'ta had to," he said, glancing away. "'Bout time I did my job and acted like the daddy that you need."
"You're doin' just fine, old man," Wade assured him, taking another sip and breathing out slow. "I feel so stupid, just runnin' like I did, but when it all come rushing back like that... it was a lot to take."
"Memories are funny things," said Earl knowingly. "They can be nice, all kinds of comforting sometimes. Other times, it's like blades to your heart just to think about what happened back then."
If anybody knew about painful memories, of course, it was Earl. Maybe that was why Wade ran to his father's home when he went into some kind of panic mode. Maybe it was just that he knew he could hide pretty easy in the cabin in the woods and nobody would find him for a good long while.
When Lavon came knocking on the door, he let Earl talk with him, explain what happened. Maybe they should've let him in, but Wade didn't have it in him to face anyone right now, least of all someone who would want to try his best to be helpful. Lavon was one of the best people Wade knew, but he didn't need a friend right now, he just needed time to get his head on straight. A further knock at the door proved he wasn't going to get it.
Earl huffed out a sigh. "If that's the mayor again..."
"It won't be." Wade shook his head. "Lavon's a man of his word. When he said he'd leave me be when I asked, he meant it. Somebody else must be callin' on you."
"On me? At this late hour?" Earl shook his head as he got to his feet and headed for the door.
It occurred to Wade a little too late who he was probably going to find on the other side. Lavon had been here because Zoe was worried. He promised to go away a while, but nobody said anything about not telling the good doctor where he could be found.
"Wade!" she yelled as she came running into the house in her too high heels. "Oh my God, I was so scared!" she declared, throwing around arms around his neck.
For a couple of moments, he hugged her back, savoured the feeling of her there in his arms, before forcefully disentangling her from him.
"Zoe, don't. Please, just don't," he urged her.
She looked hurt, almost as hurt as he had ever seen her, though he remembered one other occasion that he wished he could remove from his mind all over again. Unfortunately, a person couldn't pick and choose. All his memories came back, even the awful ones, and there was no changing that.
"Wade, what's going on?" she asked him desperately. "I know you got your memories back."
"I did," he agreed, getting up from the chair and moving away from her before she had a chance to get too close again.
Earl muttered something about leaving them to talk things out and disappeared into the next room, something Wade was grateful for. This was a talk he and Zoe ought to have alone, though honestly, he wasn't especially looking forward to having it at all.
"This is one unholy mess we made here, Zoe," he said, the moment it was just the two of them. "I didn't believe it could get much worse, but hey, look at us now."
"What are you talking about?" she asked, shaking her head. "Wade, nothing is worse. In fact, it's probably as good as it's ever been with us, except you didn't have your memories, but now you do, so..."
"So?" Wade echoed, staring at her. "So, what, Zoe?" he asked her straight. "You think everything is just fine and dandy? Come on now, you're not that stupid!"
"Well, apparently, I am, because I have no idea what you're talking about!" she yelled back at him, all the stress and worry of before seeming to catch up on her again, along with all the mixed emotions that came with Wade's memories having returned, no doubt. "Have you not been happy the past few weeks? Because I have. I thought we were happy together."
"And we were, Zoe. God knows, we were," he told her, tears filling his own eyes then, and there was not a damn thing he could do about it. "But it was all a lie. You went ahead and let us build something so good on a bunch of lies, and honestly, I don't know if I can forgive you for that."
To Be Continued...