Meredith and I spent most of the night talking things through. Despite our problems, we both felt a pull to each other, a deep uncompromising love and a need to always be in the other's orbit. Meredith is the woman that I want to marry, that I want a hundred kids with, a lifetime with. I knew it early on, sure it was disguised by an all-consuming lust, but it had always been there. I have my dreams though and they always feel heavy hovering over me pulling me in and never letting go. I don't know how to have her and my dreams. I envy Meredith – her ability to go with the flow and follow the path that just feels right at the moment. I'm an expert at mapping a future and pinpointing exactly when and how and why. I even made a math equation out of dating. With Addison, it was basic algebra. Choose the girl that's pretty to look at, that's going to be a surgeon too and make her your lover. I did that and then I met Meredith. I realized in that moment that not everything could be so perfectly calculated. You can't help who you fall in love with. You can't help forces outside of yourself willing you to be together. The day I met her; I could have never dreamed up what we have now. All the uncertainty, the pain, the chemistry, the love. It feels like a dream of its on. The problem is, she's not my only dream. Becoming the surgeon I want to be has never felt further out of reach. I want to move to New York. I want to be a student at Columbia. I worked for it. I sacrificed for it. But I can't have both. Meredith needs to finish her last year of school. She deserves to graduate with her friends, just like I will be doing in the next several weeks. She deserves anything she wants. She wants to stay here. She wants her families help with our daughter. She wants to graduate from the college she's spent the past three years at. She doesn't want New York. I don't think she'll ever want New York. So here we are, at an impasse.

I called Columbia the day after our talk, and I deferred for a year. I will take a year off. I will raise my daughter and be there for her mother. I will find a job and support Meredith while she finishes her last semester of undergraduate. I will enjoy every little second of my final year in Rhode Island. I will try and try and try to not become resentful. I will look at staying as a gift. I will never give up my dream though.

Meredith and I are in a better place now. She now knows that her and her alone is my priority. She's it. I'm going to propose to her. I want her to know just how deeply I feel for her. How I will give up anything for her and her happiness. I want to be a family when our daughter is born. I want everything for the both of them so that's what I'm going to give them.

I enlisted Mark's help with the perfect proposal as well as my friends at Angelo's the place I took Mer for our first date. I paced around with the ring box taking up room in my pocket all day. I put on a suit and when I went by Mer's to pick her up, she looked surprised I was so dressed up.

"You look beautiful" I told her taking in her sight. There she stood, my beautiful girlfriend. Her blonde hair long and cascading down her back. Her green eyes bewitching me as always. Her clad in a tight black dress that I wanted to rip off her.

"Where are you taking me?" she asked as I grabbed her hand and led her out of the house

"Let me surprise you" I murmured as my lips found her neck. She was too mesmerizing. Too perfect. I brought my lips up to hers and kissed her gently. She leaned in and deepened it. As always, the bulge in my pants was forming. Our tongues played.

She pulled back and smiled. It took my breath.

"Let's get going" I told her, and she agreed.

The ride to Angelo's was short and we conversed as if we'd known each other our whole lives.

When we arrived, her eyes danced.

"I should've known" she told me with a smile

"Don't move" I told her as I hopped out of my truck. I made my way over to the passenger side and opened the door for her. She obliged. I took her hand and we made it into the restaurant that was reserved completely for us.

"Derek, I don't think it's open. The sign says closed and it looks dark" She commented as I opened the door.

But atlas, there sat our table. The table we sat at during our first date ready for us with candles burning and fresh flowers.

"Derek?" Meredith asked confused

"I told you it was a surprise" I told her

She looked like she was going to cry.

"You rented this whole place out just for us?" she asked me

I grinned sheepishly "I want tonight to be special"

"It already is" she replied moved.

The owners came over and personally served us. The male owner commented on how busy we must have been since our last visit here gesturing towards Meredith's pregnant stomach. She placed her hand on her bump and began absentmindedly rubbing it. I was mesmerized by her that I forgot to listen to what he was asking us. I heard Meredith tell him that it's a girl and realized he must have asked what we're having. He clapped his hands excitedly and kept repeating "Salute, Salute".

I am so happy I can't see straight.

He brought out a special menu and Meredith and I ate every bite. Our conversation throughout dinner focused primarily on our future. Our daughter. Her name. We're naming her Emma and I think it's perfect. We talked about me moving in permanently to the house Mer is sharing with her roommates. I want our own place, but I will give her this. She can have whatever she wants. We talked about her dreams. She thinks she wants to follow in her mother's footsteps and go to medical school too. I support her. She should be whoever and whatever she wants to be. Plus, I love the idea of having my wife work at the hospital so I can see her anytime I want.

"Tonight, was really nice" Meredith told me as she bit into her tiramisu. They made it with decaf for her.

"Tonight, is really nice. It's not over yet." I told her moving my fork over to her plate and stealing a bite of her cake. It tastes amazing.

I pay the bill and we step out into the cool late March air. Meredith takes a deep breath "Do you smell that?" she asks

"Smell what?" I asked amused

"The first day of spring" she replies. That's what being with her feels like, but I don't tell her that. Not yet. I grab her hand "Are you up for a short walk?" I ask her.

She nods and I take her hand taking the path to campus under the trees we both love so much. Mark helped me add fairy lights to several of the trees early today and he was able to turn them on while we were at dinner. They make it seem like we're in a magical forest. He also helped me put a small bistro set under my favorite tree so we could sit.

Meredith looked excited and she went over to the bistro set and took a seat. "Has this always been here?" she asked

"No" I replied

She looked at me with a curiosity in her eyes. "I did this for you." I told her.

"What?...Why?" She stammered

"Because I love you." I told her simply

"You didn't have to do all of this to show me that you love me."

"That's not the only reason."

My hands traced the ring box in my pocket. Now was the time.

"Meredith, I want to spend the rest of my life with you." I told her dropping to my knee and pulling out the box containing my mother's ring.

Meredith looked stunned. "I'm not going to ask you a question. I just want you to know, you're it for me. I want to be with you forever."

She sat there silently looking at the ring in awe. After a moment she told me that she wanted to spend the rest of her life with me too and I slipped the ring on her finger. It fit perfectly. I finally kissed her like I wanted to all evening. Meredith was going to be my wife. Everything is as it should be in the world.

AN: We have two chapters left until the sequel! I seriously cannot wait for you to read that. Please leave me your reviews and let me know if you enjoyed this chapter.