Episode 17: Get Schwifty

The cold vacuum of space is mostly known to be empty, save for the stars, planets, and galaxies that populate it. However, something else has been floating through the endless night sky, heading straight towards the Earth. It was a giant head covered in yellow skin, having eyes, a unibrow, a nose, and a mouth in similar placement and appearance to those of us humans, save for its humongous size. Upon nearing the Earth's atmosphere, its own gravitational pull interefered with the natural order on Earth, causing hurricanes, typhoons, and all manner of storms in places they shouldn't be in.

From a nearby forest, animals fled as their home got engulfed in flames by a sudden forest fire. A lone deer attempted to run towards the nearby city, only for chunks of the ground to sink down as clouds began to form and a storm began to arise. On the other side of the fault, a man swung his golf club at a ball. He greatly missed the hole, but the earthquakes began creating a large sinkhole, to which the golfball fell in. "Hey! Golf is easy now!" Unfortunately for the man, the sinkhole grew bigger, even touching the ground he stood on, causing him to nearly fall in before he clung onto a ledge. "Aahh! Golf is hard again! Golf is hard agaaaaaaain!"

The giant head's arrival didn't take long for it to be on the news. On one of the stations, a news anchor was standing in the midst of the city in a raincoat. Behind him, people were running around in fear as some looked back to see the giant head in the distance. "The view here is the same as yours, Jim." the news anchor said. "A giant head has entered Earth's gravity, triggering climate change and natural disasters we thought were impossible for at least another eight years."

The reporter, Jim, was in the news studio at the time, sporting brown hair and a big furry mustache. "Let's not make this political, Terry. Do we know what this giant head wants?"

As if it was on cue, the gigantic head cleared its throat before speaking. "SHOW ME WHAT YOU GOT!" As it spoke, it caused strong winds that blew across the city. Across the coastline, the tides changed rapidly due to the mysterious being's presence.

Fortunately, the news anchor spoke once more. "Jim, you heard -BZZRT- said 'Show me what you got!'."

"SHOW ME WHAT YOU GOT. I WANT TO SEE WHAT YOU GOT." as the mysterious head spoke, a nearby lamppost slammed into Terry and the cameraman, presumably ending their lives as the newsscreen became nothing more than static.

"Hoo boy, wonderful weather out there, huh, folks?" Reimu asked sarcastically. She looked back to see Rick, Morty, and Marisa in the room, the last of which was still down about having shot Mister Poopybutthole at the mistake of thinking he was an alien parasite. Rick and Morty were looking at her in a weird manner. "What? I was trying to lighten the mood up a little."

Marisa couldn't help but smile a little. "Yeah... thanks for the boost, ze..."

Rick couldn't help but sigh. "Alright, people. It's time to go." Rick stated.

"You mean you know what that giant head thing is?" a curious Reimu asked.

"Where we goin' this time?" Marisa asked.

"We're going to the Pentagon." Rick said. He presumed to put on a pair of sunglasses and looked at the three teenagers. "I mean, not THE Pentagon. *urp* The lame one, here on Earth."

"Of all the things I experienced so far, this one seems tame in comparison." Reimu said. The three then looked out at the giant head in the distance. "Though, with that giant head in the equation, we're not gonna be here for an ordinary visit, huh, gang?"

"Nope. Besides, I hate politics, but this seems like our best bet with this sit-*urp*-uation." Rick responded.

While the quartet were preparing for their trip to the Pentagon, they found that the weather outside was chaotic. The wind was so strong that rain began to blow sideways along with some of the newly-bloomed springtime leaves of trees. The atmosphere was stormy, yet the light of the sun managed to peek down from above. Beth, Jerry, and Summer were standing just right out the front door, seemingly unbothered by the new weather.

"Is it God? If it's God, do we get out of school?" Summer asked.

"It's not God, Summer." Beth blatantly stated.

"She's allowed to think it's God if she wants, honey!" Jerry said with a smile.

"Shut up, Jerry." Beth retorted.

"Okay." Jerry said.

Soon enough, the garage door opened, and Rick was driving the Space Cruiser out of it, with Reimu in the shotgun while Morty and Marisa were in the back seat. "Dad, what do you know about this?" Beth asked.

"The four of us are going to look into it. You guys hold tight." Rick stated.

The three remaining members of the Smith family watched as Rick flew off on the Space Cruiser with Reimu, Marisa, and Morty inside. Soon enough, Mister Goldenfold arrived wearing a red and white helmet and riding a moped. "Scary stuff, huh? Pretty freaky." Goldenfold stated. "Hi, I'm Morty's math teacher. I'm also part of the street team inviting folks to the church downtown so we can pray together." the math teacher explained.

"How is praying going to help?" a disbelieving Beth asked.

"Ma'am, a giant head in the sky is controlling the weather. Did you wanna play checkers?" Goldenfold stated. "Let's be rational! I'll see you at God's house!"

Meanwhile, at the Pentagon, several important figures were sitting around a table in the war room. The President of the United States, Curtis Romley, an African American man with brown eyes, black hair, and an outfit consiting of a dark blue suit and a dull red tie, listened as the conversation devolved into a petty argument. Seeing that it could escalate into needless violence, he immediately stood up and put his hands outward. "Gentlemen, gentlemen, one at a time! Simon?"

Upon the presidents call, another man got up. He was of North European descent and had greying hair, think eyebrows, and a thin mustache. He had an outfit consisting of a white button-up shirt, a green and yellow striped tie, and black pants held up by a belt. "SETI, NORAD, and every broadcaster on the planet are attempting to show this being what humanity's got. String theory, world history, the human genome." the man stated.

Another person got up, that being the man next to Curtis, being a grey-haired man with blue eyes and an outfit that was similar to Curtis's, but being a black business suit with a blue tie. "International affairs are just as mixed up. The German Empire and United Kingdom have reported that neo-pagan cults have risen in their territory, and Italy has been seeing a Roman revival lately, with many of its inhabitants turning to Hellenism once more. I fear we might be next."

Soon enough, someone slammed his hand on the table. Everyone looked to see a muscular man of North European descent, one who had a chiseled face despite his old age, showcased by his grey hair. He had an outfit that consisted of a green military suit, a light green tie, and badges to display his status. "Have you tried sending it launch codes? Mr. President, what America's got is 70,000 megatons of KABOOM-BOOM! And I say we show it right up this floating head's ass!"

The argument began starting again, but before they could continue, a green portal opened up a few feet away from the meeting table, and Rick stepped out of it, followed by Reimu, Marisa, and finally, Morty, the last one of which looked nervously at the sight before him. "Hold it! Don't move!" One of the guards ordered, causing Rick and the girls to look at them while Morty yelped and held his hands up.

"Stay back! This watch turns people into snakes!" Rick said, holding his arm out to reveal the same watch he used to activate the blast shields. The guards looked to General Nathan for approval, and he silently nodded. The two were about to shoot, but Rick proceeded to shoot a beam from his watch at the first man, causing him to disappear, with a green snake in his place. The other man looked in shock, only for Rick to shoot him.

As the two snakes slithered away, Reimu facepalmed. Fortunately, Curtis managed to stop any more people from getting the wrong idea. "Stand down. Everybody stand down! I'm the leader of these people and I'm unarmed. There's no need for any more snake-makery."

"And we know who you are, Mister Romley, but we're not here to hurt you." Reimu calmly stated.

"We're actually here to help you guys with that varmit, ze." Marisa added.

"Anyway, my name is Rick Sanchez," Rick introduced. He then guestured to the three teenagers with him. "This is my grandson, Morty Smith, my granddaughter, Reimu Sanchez, and their friend, Marisa Kirisame." A chorus of introductions greeted them as Reimu let herself give off a friendly wave and for Marisa to smirk. "I've seen enough of the galaxy to know that what we've got here is a Cromulon from the Cygnus-5 Expanse. So you can forget about nukes, and you can forget about math."

"Besides, do any of you know the size of that thing?" Reimu asked, pointing to the screen showcasing the gigantic head. "It's gotta be really big in order to cause all these interferances with the Earth's weather patterns. Nukes won't even give a scratch on it!"

Nathan was about to object, but Curtis spoke to him. "Nathan, stand down. Our nukes were meant to destroy cities, not planets."

Rick looked at the general. "I know you guys in the military are all nuke-happy, but Reimu's right, it won't work on a Cromulon. This head won't go away until *urp* Earth shows them it's got a hit song."

As various voices were muttering towards one another, Simon looked at Rick for answers. "You mean like Vivaldi?"

"No, Frasier." an annoyed Rick stated as he walked towards the meeting table. "A live performance of a newly-written, catchy, original song. The Cromulon feed on the talent and showmanship of less-evolved lifeforms."

Before anybody could speak, President Curtis re-entered the coversation to prevent another argument from occouring. "All right, all right. Thank you, Mr. Sanchez. Change of plan, people. Get me Pharrell, Randy Newman, Billy Corgan, and The-Dream." An awkward silence paused, and the United States' leader spoke to them. "The-Dream? He wrote 'Umbrella' and 'Single Ladies'? You people haven't heard of The-Dream?"

"Nope." Reimu stated.

"Nada." Marisa repeated.

"Who is this Dream guy? Is he also someone who exists in this timeline?" a confused Morty asked.

Everyone, bar Rick, Reimu, and Marisa looked at him. Before anyone can ask, Rick began to speak. "Don't mind him. You're gonna wanna put them on that giant speaker system at your sonic testing facility at Area 51."

"How do you know about that?" an angered general asked as he walked towards Rick.

Soon enough, President Curtis walked towards Nathan. "For God's sake, Nathan, the man turns people into snakes. He can use Google Maps."

Before an argument could continue, another man in a uniform similar to General Nathan's spoke. He was calling from a phone and had a look of despair on his face. "Sir! Pharrell, Newman, Corgan, and that Dream guy. They're all dead." the man stated.

"What!? How is this possible!? Do people just die when I name them!?" Curtis asked in disbelief.

"The Grammys, sir. There was an earthquake and all the musicians..." The aide attempted to hold back as he began to bring the bad news. "All the famous ones, they're gone."

"Dear God." President Curtis stated.

Reimu and Marisa couldn't help but sigh before the latter spoke. "I suppose it'll be up to us, ze."

Before they could leave, the aide held the phone again. "Hold on you guys, just a minute. Two people have survived, those being famous hip-hop artist Ice-T and Japanese musical prodigy Hatsune Miku, who apparently has a good singing voice. They're inbound on an F-15, ETA two hours. The British band KISS also survived, but they have not attended the Grammys and won't be able to arrive in eight hours."

"Good luck, Mr. President." Rick stated.

Before Rick could open a portal, Simon began to bring more bad news. "Sir, the magnetic poles are about to reverse. In two hours, there may not be an Earth to save."

Morty couldn't help but quiver at that. "Aw geez, do we have to do it?"

Reimu sighed. "It appears we have to."

Before Rick could open a portal, President Curtis walked up to him. "Sanchez! Are you a musician?"

"I dabble, President Romley." Rick stated.

"Well, we're what we got, so hopefully we can make it work." Reimu stated.

"Get this man and the three kids with him on a Blackhawk to Area 51." President Curtis ordered.

Back at Seattle, most of the town's residents have went towards the church for answers as forest fires raged on outside. Various people were panicking and/or discussing amongst themselves as the Cromulon loomed down at the Earth. From his spot at the lectern, Father Bob attempted to calm down the panicked citizens. "People! Everyone! Remain calm! Every crisis of faith is an opportunity for more faith! When God deals you an 11, you don't fold! You double down, and always hit on a soft 16." the bespectacled elder stated, attempting to calm (and convert) as many people as he could. "That means you, Jews."

The man that he pointed to a younger man with a full-on mustache and beard with sidelocks braided against one another. He was wearing a top hat, a suit, and a sash with a blue Star of David on it. He got up to bring his argument. "I beg your pardon, pastor, but the last I looked outside, it seems to be you that's been dealt the weak hand." He suddenly pumped his fists. "Jews rule!" At his proclaimation, nobody joined in. "Nobody? Okay, tough church."

After the Jewish man finished speaking, Principal Vagina got up and proceeded to speak on his account. "Hi, Principal Vagina. The name's real, possibly Scandinavian. I'm just gonna come out and make this pitch." As he spoke, the principal of Harry Herpson High School got up and turned around for everyone to see him. "The old gods are dead. Fuck all previous existing religions. All hail the one true god, the giant head in the sky." Various reactions rippled amongst the crowd, and Father Bob was about to protest when Gene proceeded to interrupt him. "Ah, di di di di. Bob, Bob, I get it." He proceeded to pull out a silver cross so the crowd could see it. "But unless this could beat that, what have you done for me lately?" He tossed the necklace to a disappointed Bob, who caught it with both of his hands. "So if you wanna excuse me, I'm going out on the sidewalk and dropping to my knees and pledging my eternal soul to the thing that literally controls the fucking weather! Out of my way!"

As Gene Vagina proceeded to walk out and close the doors behind him, Father Bob decided to seize the opportunity and redirect the crowd's attention back to him. "Okay, if sanity's been restored to this assembly, I'd like to talk about the cost of repairing our new organ." He gestured to a woman that was standing nearby. "Sally, the plate, please."

As the woman began walking across the ailes, Mister Golenfold held up a dollar bill in giddy. "Ohhhh, this is my favorite part!"

By now, President Curtis has taken the ragtag quartet on a fleet of helicopters into a restricted airspace above the Nevada desert. Marisa idily kicked her feet in the air as she sat by the side of the helicopter and looked on at the scenery, even if there was an apparent lack of it in their current location. Meanwhile, Rick, Reimu, and Morty were sitting in the vehicle's chairs as they conversed with one another.

"Rick, Reimmu, are you two really musicians?" Morty asked.

"It's not my first pick of a hobby, but I did do a few things at music class." Reimu stated.

"Who's NOT a musician, Morty?" Rick asked.

"Me!" Morty stated with a tinge of sadness in its voice.

"We might not be musicians, but we're what the Earth has at the moment." Reimu replied.

"'Sides, why do ya keep that there attitude with ya? You know it ain't adventure appropriate, ze." Marisa asked.

"That's because I'm scared about my family." Morty answered.

Marisa shook her head. "Seriously, let go of that attitude. They're more likely to be goners if ya keep that mood up than if ya pull your weight."

"Besides, the sooner we 'show it what we've got', the more likely we will have a home to return to." Reimu explained.

Before the conversation could continue any further, a muscular man with black, balding hair and a shaven beard walked up. He had an outfit consisting of a dark green jumpsuit, a pair of headphones, and a visor for his eyes. "We're in the drop zone! I'm the jump master! My name's Jamey! With an E-Y! Go, go, go!"

Rick was the first to c;o,n down the rope, followed by a hopeful Reimu and an excited Marisa, but a distressed Morty spoke to the jump master. "B-b-but we don't have a song!"

The strong winds have dulled down a little, and while most of the people in the Sanchez/Smith family's neighborhood were inside the church, Principal Vagina was outside praying to the giant head. "Giant head in the sky, please forgive all that we've done. We're sorry for increased levels of emissions and our racism. And of course, the amber alerts I keep ignoring on my phone." Gene was holding his hands against each other as he sat on his knees, hoping that his prayer to the head would work.

Meanwhile, Rick, Reimu, and Marisa were busy climbing down the rope before their feet touched the ground once more. When Reimu got onto the ground, she proceeded to walk a ways for Marisa to land. Reimu looked around and noticed the gigantic set of speakers right behind the group. "Hey guys, look at this! It's pretty neat, don't you think?" She looked back to an impressed Marisa, who whistled in response before speaking.

"Totes malotes, ze." Marisa replied.

Soon enough, the three of them heard screaming. They looked up to see that Morty was screaming as he slid down the rope. Once he neared the ground, he immediately flopped on his belly and fell face first, causing Reimu and Marisa to wince at him. "Are... are you okay?" a concerned Reimu asked as she and Marisa looked at him.

"Aw geez, why did I even have to go with you guys?" a regretful Morty asked.

In contrast to the two girls, Rick did not appear to show concern for his grandson's entry. "Alright, you're here, Morty! Why don't you, uh, find a button on one of those keyboards and lay down some kind of beat?"

"Rick, I think we need to cut our losses. We get our family and portal out of here!" a distressed Morty said as he got up.

"You're still goin' on like that? You really need to learn to lighten up in the face of danger. You killed those parasites like a pro!" Marisa stated.

"Listen to Marisa, Morty. Good music comes from people who are relaxed." Rick said with a grin on his face. "Just hit a button, Morty! Gimme a beat!"

As Rick pushed Morty towards an electronic piano that was conveniently placed, the awkward teen looked at it and stood silent, debating on whether or not he should press the button. He looked towards Marisa, who spoke in response. "Come on, ze. This ain't like killin' someone. Press a button and let the tune do the rest."

"Oh man, ok, all right, um…" Morty quickly pushed a button, and soon enough, a beat began to permeate the area as Rick began to sing.

Ahhhhh yeahhhhh

Ya gotta get schwifty

At this point, Morty started beating a tambourine as Marisa decided to take the drums and Reimu took a guitar.

Ya gotta get schwifty in here

It's time to get schwifty

Meanwhile, from the comfort of the building they were in, President Curtis, General Nathan, and several other government officials were sitting on their desks as they watched the quartet perform. "Get… schwifty? What the hell is that?" a confused Nathan asked.

"It's our world's best effort, that's what." President Curtis responded.

Take off your pants and your panties

Shit on the floor

Time to get schwifty in here

I'm Mr. Bulldops

"Mister Bulldops?" a confused General Nathan lamented.

"Don't analyze it, Nathan. It's working!" President Curtis assured.

Take a shit on the floor

Time to get schwifty in here

All around the world, the extreme weather started to die out. Cities miraculously went up, filling any sinkholes that previously took their place. Floods began to recede, and people who previously found themselves trapped on trees were easily able to get back down again. All the while, Gene Vagina continued his prayers to the Cromulon.

Within the church, Father Bob was continuing his speech. "And third-level donors get our all access family pass."

Before the priest could continue, an observant Summer got up from her seat to tell everyone the big news. "Listen! The storm is stopping!"

Hey, take your pants off

It's schwifty time today

At that point, the quartet stopped their song, waiting for the Cromulon's judgement. "HMMM..."

By this point, the people of the neighboorhood were walking out of the church. They looked with anticipation as Gene Vagina remained on his knees and continued praying to the Cromulon. "Please be kind to us for we are but tiny things with entire bodies stuck to your ground."

"I LIKE WHAT YOU GOT!" the Cromulon stated with a smile on his face. "GOOD JOB!"

As it flew off, everybody began to cheer. Reimu and Marisa let out heavy sighs of relief as the various governmental figures celebrated from within their shelter.

Back at Seattle, the townspeople (Summer included) began to cheer and lifted Principal Vagina into the air as they chanted his name. However, a skeptical Beth stood a few feet away from the crowd. "Now hold on a second, let's be rational about this." she stated, causing everyone to look at hear as if she grew another head. "No, I'm…" Beth stuttered in her words as she attempted to find the right set of words for the situation. "No, I'm… I'm just saying, we don't know if there's a cause-effect relationship-"

Before Beth could continue, another earthquake suddenly shook the entire world, causing not only herself to slip and fall, but several members of the crowd as well.

Back at Area 51, Rick, his grandkids, and Marisa were attempting to keep their balance as the people within the base panicked. As this chaos ensued, the Earth got engulfed in a blue aura before being teleported in a flash of light.

The President was the first to speak, however looking the wrong way upon the Earth's disappearance. "What the hell happened?"

"I think that Cromulon guy took us with him, that's what's happened." Reimu stated. Everyone looked to see the raven-haired girl walk in, followed by her companions. Everyone looked at the monitor to see that the blue sky above has been replaced by a bright yellow sky with what looked like a giant disco ball in the sun, and to make matters worse, there were multiple Cromulons of varying colors floating about.

"Yeesh, and whatever neopagan cults are arising are gonna have a field day with this pile of horse radish." Marisa stated.

Reimu merely facepalmed at the sight of the swarm of Cromulons visible in the sky. Soon enough, everyone heard Simon's voice. "Sir, we've started picking up on a garbled signal. We're decrypting it now." Everyone looked towards one of the screens, which displayed various alien runes in orange and yellow static. The lines gradually became more and more like a camera before clips of musicians from various planets were shown, including the Earth.

As dance music played in the background, the Cromulon's voice narrarated. "WE ASKED THEM TO SHOW US WHAT THEY GOT. AND THEY DID. NOW WE'LL SEE WHICH OF THEM HAS GOT THE MOST." Soon enough, the footage showed planets being blown up by some sort of superweapon, which caused everyone's eyes to widen. "24 HOURS, FIVE PLANETS, FIVE SONGS. BUT IN THE END, THERE CAN ONLY BE ONE. PLANET MUSIC! ALL PARTICIPATION IS INVOLUNTARY. DISQUALIFIED, LOSING, AND HOSTILE PLANETS ARE DISINTEGRATED BY PLASMA RAY."

"Great, this is lunacy!" an irked Marisa said.

"You got that right, Marisa." Rick said before looking at President Curtis. "Uhh, it's probably a bad time to mention it, but any astronauts you guys had in orbit are definitely dead."

"This isn't my day..." Reimu said before slumping onto one of the chairs.

"This ain't my day either, Reimu." Rick assured as he took a sip out of his flask.

Back at Seattle, the people were still gathered around the church, looking at the many heads with curiosity. Gene was the first to speak as he held his arms up high. "The head has left and sent its children!"

"HOLY CRAP!" a stunned Beth mentioned.

Like clockwork, most of the town got onto their knees and held their hands in prayer, starting with Summer. "Oh dear giant head, we apologize for that discussion! It will never happen again!" As the various people murmured prayers, Beth, still stunned, reluctantly joined them, though she did not say anything amongst the chorus.

After a moment of pondering, everyone looked to see the music play on the screen again. "FIRST UP, LET'S HEAR THE LATEST SONG FROM PLANET PARBLESNOPPS. THEY GREYBOOBES!" The planet had a swampy climate with gigantic trees that resembled pitcher plants. It was also flooded with water, and on one of the giant lily pad-like structures, a quartet of froglike aliens stood with a collection of insturments at their display as a Cromulon came towards their view. "SHOW US WHAT YOU'VE GOT!"

The froglike aliens were about to play, the lead singer held 'his' hand up to speak. "Hold it! Hold it! Stop!" After the lead singer's partners put their insturments down, he began to speak to the Cromulons. "Music isn't about competition or captivity! If you love music, you love freedom. Let these worlds be free, please!"

Despite the lead singer's plea, the Cromulon's brow sank down as its bore a scowl. "DISQUALIFIED." Almost as if on cue, all of Parblesnopps was disintegrated by the ray, leaving nothing but dust in its wake. "THERE'S ONE EVERY SEASON. MOVING ON TO ARBOLEZ METEROSOS." The planet mentioned was red with blue double rings. The landscape under the clouds was rocky and dotted with cities. The people there were sluglike aliens with one eye and four arms. "ARBOLIAN METEROSOSIANS. SHOW US WHAT YOU'VE GOT!"

The Arbolian Meterososians, despite the heavy amount of clouds in their atmosphere, were easily able to see what happened to Planet Parbelsnopps, the lead singer looked at their bandmates. "Ah two, three, four…" They proceeded to play a very simple and underwhelming song while nervously looking at the Cromulons for approval.

Marisa turned the TV off and sighed. "Welp, this is depressin'. At the rate they're goin', we might need to work double-time."

The blonde girl proceeded to sit down on the couch, unsure of what to do. She proceeded to drink from her Coca Cola when she noticed the government aide came in with a mixture of hope and fear in his eyes and a neutral expression on his face. "Alright, everybody, we've got good news and bad news. The bad news is obviously coming first beacuse I do not want to dangle hope in front of you and yank it away. Anyway, the time table's shifted. We've got about six hours, give or take."

"Like we're not already under enough pressure!" an angered Morty yelled. He was about to flip the peanuts, but Reimu grabbed his hand as the man spoke.

"The good news is that Ice-T and Hatsune Miku have arrived. In fact, they're right here." He stepped to the side to allow two people to enter the room in his stead.

The first person to enter was a man of African-American descent. He had a light brown skin color with black hair tied up into a ponytail, and a face that had brown eyes and a goatee that circled around his mouth. The outfit he was wearing consisted of a black shirt, dark grey pants, white boots, and a necklace with a plastic gun on it.

The second person to enter the room is a young Japanese girl that was the same age that Reimu and Marisa are. Her long teal hair was done up in two twin tails that fell down her back and towards her thighs, being held up by black, diamond-shaped scruhcies. Equally teal eyes scowered the area as she bore a hopeful smile. The girl's outfit consisted of a sleeveless grey shirt that held a blue business tie, a pair of detatched sleeves that had futuristic yellow and pink patterns on them, a black skirt with blue edges, and a pair of knee-high black socks and some boots, both of which had a blue triangular pattern on them.

Morty's eyes scowered the girl, and found that she was pretty well-endowed for her age, and let out a light moan of pleasure as he was about to reach out, nearly forgetting about the Cromulons for the moment as his focus shifted towards the girl. Fortunately, Rick blurted in before he could attempt to touch her breasts. "Morty, what's with the chick with a *urp* lack of fashion sense?" he asked before sipping .

"Hey! I don't say the same about your labcoat, Rick! Be nice!" Morty yelled, snapping out of his aroused state as the stress kicked back on in full force.

"Oh, this is just the outfit I wear when performing live." the girl stated with a heavy Japanese accent, which sounded rather adorable on her. "I'm Hatsune Miku! It's a pleasure to meet you!" Her smile shifted to a frown as she looked back to the memory of the floating heads and the tremors they caused. "Though, I wish that our first meeting was not due to the threat of planetary annihilation."

Rick looked towards the man, who proceeded to lean against the wall as he started texting on his phone. "And I suppose you're Ice-T, huh?"

"Yup." the man stated without much focus on the scientist.

"Cool." Rick replied.

"Alright, so we've got Ice-T's hip-hop, Miku's J-pop, and whatever it was we did." Reimu said, counting with her fingers as she listed out the different genres of music. "If we all pull in our best qualities for this song, we'll be able to easily get through this home free."

"Or we could be blown to smithereens!" a distressed Morty yelled. "Could you guys take it less easy?! We've got six hours to come up with a song!"

Miku shook her head at that. "Music does not run off of stress, Mortimer-san. You have to 'go with the flow', if you will."

"Listen to Miku. Genius happens in the moment, Morty." Rick added as he put down a guitar he was holding and proceeded to walk towards an electronic piano.

"Well, can we at least go get our family? You know, so we can take them with-with-with us if we lose?" Morty asked.

"That's planning for failure, Morty. Even dumber than regular planning." Rick proceeded to press a button on the piano and speak into the microphone. "Balls."

Morty walked up towards the portal gun as Rick proceeded to record, but Reimu placed her hands on him before they could continue. "Morty, please listen. You can't just sneak out and go back. I am just as stressed out about this as you are, but the world needs us! Are you willing to trade the lives of an entire world just for a few dysfunctional souls?"

"Now you're sounding just as selfish as Rick!" Morty yelled.

"Yeah, and I hate to break it to you, but there's only so much charge left, and we can only do so many stops on this." Everyone looked to see that Rick was standing there, somehow retaining that smirk on his face. "Besides, if you continue down that path of attempting to make everyone nervous, then we can't get schwifty."

At Rick's gesture, Morty wedged himself out of Reimu's hands and angrily glared at Rick. "Stop saying it like it's a thing! You made it up!"

"Please listen to them, this is not just a matter of your family. It's a matter of the whole world!" Miku interjected.

"Yeah yeah, they could be dead for all I care." a nocoholant Ice-T said as he continued to text on his phone.

"FUCK OFF, ICE-T!" an enraged Morty protested.

Rick somehow retained his smirk, despite the tense aura that Morty was radiating. "Hey, Morty! Could you lick my…"

Before he could press the keyboard, Marisa stepped in front of him. "Don't do what I think you're about to do, ze, it'll only add fuel to the fire!" Marisa warned.

On the other side of the room, President Curtis, his aide, and General Nathan were watching the group go at their antics, with Morty going on about his argument as Reimu, Marisa, and Miku attempted to cover their ears. "I've seen enough. These guys are one-hit wonders." Nathan said.

"And what's your plan, General?" Curtis asked in a knowing voice.

As he expected him to do, Nathan went to his superior's ear and spoke. "We still have the nuclear option. On my word, we can launch a nuclear missile at every one of those heads in the sky."

Curtis merely sighed and pushed Nathan away from him. "Our planet's held captive on a live game show and your solution is to shoot the audience? Until then, I'll put mine in Rick, his grandchildren, and our planet's musicians. 'Get Schwifty' was a jam."

As the group spoke with one another at Area 51, all of Seattle, or at least the general neighboorhood the Sanchez/Smith family resides in has devolved into a theocratic cult dedicated to the worship of the Cromulons. The leader of the cult was none other than Gene Vagina, who now wore long, ornate robes that covered most of his body, which were mostly white in color with some golden trimmings and a red capelet around his neck. He was surrounded by various close friends who became Headist priests wearing similar yet less ornate robes. Several people were gathered around the new clergy, which began handing out hats in the likeness of the Cromulons.

As for Principal Vagina, he was holding a rod with a makeshift satellite dish and stethoscope tied to it, holding the stethoscope to his ears as he supposedly 'communicated' with the Cromulons. "Hello? Yes sir, yeah. Thank you sir, thank you." Upon taking the earbuds off, he looked out towards the crowd. "He says he's proud of what we're doing and hopes we have a great Ascension Festival! Happy Ascension!"

"Happy Ascension!" the crowd cheered back.

Among the few that did not cheer nor were wearing Cromulon-themed hats were an unimpressed Beth and a curious Jerry, who was holding an ice cream cone. "We should pack up and leave town now." Beth said in an angered manner.

In contrast to Beth, who was still trying to find a scientific way to explain this, Jerry didn't seem to care. He was more so worried about his wife's reaction to the Cromulons rather than the new theocracy that rose up. "I think it's inspiring that our community is coping with fear in a way that involves a festival and homemade ice cream. If you'd stop being such an evangelical atheist, you might start enjoying yourself." As soon as Jerry said it, Summer came in, wearing the cult's signature hat on her head as she carried two others in her arms. At the sight of her daughter's current state, Beth couldn't help but to rub her temples as Jerry looked at her with a smile on his face. "Whoa! Look at you! You're wearing the hat and everything!"

"Here's yours!" Summer gleefully replied. She proceeded to hand one of the hats to Jerry, who put it on much to Beth's displeasure. "Mother, mind if I cook dinner tonight?" the redheaded teen asked in an uncharacteristic manner of her.

"Yeah, sure." At first, Beth paid no mind, instead attempting to rub some sense into her eyes. A few moments later, however, she realized what Summer was doing and developed a shocked expression on her face as she put her hands to her side. "Wait, what?"

"I love you guys. You gave me life." Summer said with glee as she walked between her mother and father and gave them each a side hug. "And it's the will of the many heads that all children honor their parents."

"Sounds nice..." an unsure Beth said with a smile.

The trio soon heard a voice and looked to see Ethan walk towards them, wearing a hat of his own. "Pardon, Mr. and Mrs. Smith. Summer, are you coming to the Ascension?"

Summer looked towards Jerry for approval. "Father, can we please go to the Ascension?"

"Sure! Let's go to the Ascension." Jerry answered gleefully. Soon enough, he developed a puzzled expression on his face. "Wh-wh-what is it?"

As if on cue, they once again heard Principal Vagina spoke and focused on him and the other priests in Seattle's new makeshift clergy. Gene's clergy had gathered three people and tied them up. All of their mouths were taped, and they were all tied to balloons via ropes and tethered to the ground to prevent them from floating away. Gene was holding a pair of large scissors in his hands as he made an announcement to the crowd. "We hereby send these unwantables skyward that they might be inhaled by the many heads, later to be sneezed back to us as better babies!"

He went towards the first person, who is a ginger-haired, bearded man with blue eyes and an outfit consisting of a dark grey hoodie over a black shirt, a pair of jeans, and a pair of black shoes. A label that read 'THIEF' was strapped onto him. "Headward, free now to rise." As Gene spoke, he cut the first rope and moved on to the second person.

The second person was a fat, overweight woman with dyed purple hair that was shaved at the sides, with her normally green eyes stylized to resemble a cat's eye. She wore a dark purple blouse and midnight blue skirt, some striped socks that led down to midnight purple boots, and some spiked braces that connected to fingerless gloves. Much like the supposed 'theif', she too had a label, only that it read 'GOTH' on it. "Headward, free now to rise."

The next person was a young man wearing a midnight blue shirt, some khakis, black shoes, and a pair of glasses. He was slightly obese, had fair skin, blue eyes, and black hair that was combed over. He had a label that read 'DOMINIONIST' on his chest. "Headward free now to rise."

As the captives were left to float into the sky, an enthusiastic Summer cheered for their departure. "Oh yes, yes! Rise to the giant heads! You are free to be free!"

As Summer cheered on, Beth began thinking to herself about the whole head situation. 'God, I hope Dad, Morty, Reimu, and that Marisa girl are handling the situation.'

Back at the studio, Rick was sitting with Ice-T and Hatsune Miku, while Marisa was experimenting with notes from the guitar. Reimu was sitting on a rocking chair near the couch as she proceeded to write lyrics for the new song. As she wrote, Ice-T was talking to Rick. "A squeegee comes up from the garage, right? And he's got a lobster in one hand and movie tickets in the other. He's like, 'I'm ready!'." At that statement, Rick let out a laugh while Miku merely smiled. "Who would take a lobster to see Finding Nemo?"

As Rick and Ice-T laughed, Miku proceeded to speak. "Still, we're on in four hours and we need to think up a song to please these things in the sky."

"Don't mention it. I've already got you covered." Rick said as he looked to Miku. He looked to the snacks that he and Ice-T were eating with the occasional snack taken by Reimu, Marisa, and Miku and proceeded to take an Oreo cookie and eat it before taking a drink from his flask. "Besides, if we man-*urp*-age to pull our strengths together, they will declare our world the winner and never bother us again."

Ice-T attempted to reach for one of the snacks, but realized he was out of a certain type. "Aw, damn. We're out of original flavor Fig Newtons." Ice-T proceeded to stand up from his spot on the couch. "I should get going anyway."

"Wait, Ice-T." Reimu said. Ice-T stopped in his tracks as Reimu looked towards Rick. "Grampa, are you still able to afford a few more portals with that thing?"

"Wait, what!?" a stressed-out Morty asked.

Rick looked at his portal gun and smiled. "Don't worry, I can supply you with snacks and still have room to spare." Ice-T proceeded to sit back down as Rick proceeded to open a portal down at the floor, causing Morty to get visibly angrier as the mad scientist proceeded to jump down. A few seconds later, Rick opened another portal on the ceiling. He fell down onto the couch as a well-stocked set of food fell down onto the table.

At the display of food, Ice-T couldn't help but to be impressed at the situation at hand. "Damn. You didn't tell me you fuck around with portals and shit."

"That's it!" Morty snapped. He attempted to grab the portal gun, but Reimu grabbed it before the hormone-driven teen could do it.

"Morty, please stop it! You don't even know what you're doing!" a worried Reimu warned. She looked to see Morty attempt to snatch it from her, but she stepped out of the way and looked to see that the brunette have visible anger veins on his scalp. "Hoo boy."

"Morty, just stop and think about it." Rick said. "Y-y-your cousin's right, you don't know what you're doi-"

"FUCK OFF, YOU CARELESS SHIT!" an confused and angered Morty yelled, causing everyone in the room to gasp, with the exception of Ice-T, who merely stared with eyes wide opened. "I will not tolerate liars and pieces of shit like you any longer!" He proceeded to bite Reimu in the arm and punch her in the chest, causing her to scream in pain as the brunette attempted to snatch the portal gun from Reimu's hands, but the raven-headed girl kept a firm grip. "GIVE ME THE PORTAL GUN!"

"No! Not with the way you're acting!" an angered Reimu retorted. Morty attempted to punch her in the eye, but Reimu managed to block it with one of her hands. The remaining people attempted to stop the fight, but before they could reach them, Morty and Reimu accidentally fired a portal in the wall. Morty proceeded to bite Reimu in the arm, causing her to let out another scream as he snatched the portal gun and attempted to make a run for it, with a fully enraged Reimu on the chase.

"Ahhhh, shit!" an overwhelmed, stressed-out Rick said.

"Ah shit." President Curtis lamented from his spot beyond the studio. Unbeknownst to either of them, General Nathan bore a grin on his face.

Meanwhile, Morty emerged from the portal and looked around. Unfortunately for him, he did not appear to be in Seattle, and instead found himself in a world that was seemed to house some kind of run-down one-story building in Japan. Upon closer inspection, the building wasn't really run down, it just appeared to be with the several places on the roof and a few windows boarded up. He looked at the portal gun in anger. "Shit! Gotta find my fami-Gah!"

"OH NO YOU DON'T!" Morty found himself suddenly tackled by an enraged Reimu, who still had a bite mark freshly carved into her arm. "You've got some nerve to pull that selfish little stunt of yours, huh!? Stealing the portal gun and running off! Don't you know the fate of the world is at stake!?"

"FORGET THE WORLD, MY FAMILY IS AT STAKE!" Morty yelled as he proceeded to shove Reimu off of him and ran into the building. The two of them let out heavy breaths as Reimu chased Morty, who looked back to see that the former bore an enraged expression on her face as tears fell down her eyes. "I'm sorry I'm doing this, but they're more important than some shitty musical talent show!"

"Important? Because of your little show, they're most likely dead!" Reimu pointed out.

At that statement, Morty stopped as his anger deepened. He attempted to punch Reimu in the eye, but the Japanese American ducked and attempted to sweep the awkward teenager's legs, to which he let out a high-pitched scream as he jumped and latched onto Reimu's back. The two were engaged in a fistflight as both sides attempted to grab the portal gun for their own use as they tumbled towards the building. "HOW DARE YOU! YOU'RE SELFISH! YOU'RE NO BETTER THAN RICK!"

"I AM FAR FROM 'NO BETTER'! AT LEAST HE IS TRYING TO SAVE THE WORLD!" Reimu yelled back. Morty started pulling at Reimu's hair, to which she responded by punching him in his left eye, which caused him to scream as they rushed towards the wall, causing the two to crash right through the wood like it was paper.

On the other side there was a classroom, but not any ordinary classroom. All of the students were holding rifles as they aimed and shot at a yellow octopus-like creature wearing an outfit consisting of a black academic jacket over a red robe, a small black squarish academic cap with a yellow tassel, and a large black tie with a yellow crescent-shaped moon on it. The octopus, despite being continuously shot at by its pupils, continously bore a goofy grin on its face as it constantly deflected all the bullets shot at it. As they shot at the creature, it spoke in a joyful voice at their performance. "Ī, totemo ī. Watashi ga saisho ni jiko shōkai shite irai, minasan wa kanari gekiteki ni kaizen shite imasu-"

Before the creature could continue, the wall parallel to the door burst open as Reimu and Morty tumbled into the room, causing the students to lose focus and shift towards the two intruders, some of which shifted their guns towards them. Reimu and Morty screamed at the sight of guns pointed at them, but the bullets harmlessly bounced off of the two, much to their shock. "N... nani?" The person who said this was a boy whose light blue hair was tied into short pigtails.

"S-s-sensei, k-korehanandesuka?" The second voice belonged to a shaking, bespectacled girl who had her hair done in twin braids.

Another person was about to interject, but Morty managed to throw Reimu off of him. The raven-headed girl snarled as Morty shot a portal where the door was, and the two came tumbling through it and wherever the portal went. As soon as it closed, all the humans in the room looked to the octopus for an explanation. "Anata ga tazuneru mae ni, īe, sore wa watashi to wa nani no kankei mo arimasendeshita."

Meanwhile, back at Seattle, the various residents of the city had started plowing their yards as they planted potatoes into the ground. In the front yard of the Smith Residence, Beth, Jerry, and Summer were hoeing a small square, tilling the small garden for their potatoes to grow in. Summer, was, of course still in the Headist cult, discussing to her parents what she did with Ethan. "And then Ethan played guitar and we learned the Seven Contemplations of the Head by singing them. It was really fun." After telling her parents her story, she looked up in the sky at the multitude of Cromulons. "Praise be the heads!"

"Praise be the…" Jerry and Beth attempted to respond to Summer in kind, though it was in a forced tone. They stopped midway before Jerry spoke. "Yeah..."

Everyone heard a bell ring and looked towards the streets. The new Head Priest, Gene Vagina held a megaphone as he rode on the back of a bicycle-like vehicle that another member of the clergy drove. "Hi folks, Head Priest Vagina. Thanks for farming all those potatoes. It's 6 p.m., so if you're a parent, you're now entitled to adoration from your children."

After he left, Summer looked towards her parents and spoke. "I'm going to start dinner!"

As she left, Jerry and Beth looked at each other with smiles on their faces. Beth was the one to start the conversation. "I don't know what to say. Summer is doing really well here." the blonde housewife/horse surgeon stated.

The de facto patriarch of the Sanchez/Smith family was the next one to speak. "She's aced every test in potato class, and look how important potatoes have become."

"She's not getting pregnant or doing drugs or missing curfew…" Beth listed out. "God, as sweet as my neice is, Summer's behaving even nicer."

As they were talking, a man was being pulled upwards a few meters behind them via the balloons strapped onto his body. He had the label 'COMMUNIST' strapped onto his torso and an outfit consisting of a simple red shirt, some khakis, and black shoes. "Please help me! You can reach me if you try. Please help me!"

Unfortunately for the informatively-labeled 'communist', Beth and Jerry shifted their focus away from the man. "That's not our business as long as Summer is thriving!"

FORTY-FIVE MINUTES LATER...

By now, Beth and Jerry were sitting at the dinner table as Summer walked towards them with her head hat on her head. She was carrying a tray that had a lid on it at sat it at the dining table. She lifted it to reveal twelve tacos on the tray. "Taco time! I hope it pleases you as the heads desire."

Despite the situation at hand, Beth and Jerry couldn't help but to feel proud of their daughter for the sudden change in her behavior. "That's wonderful, Summer!" Beth said.

Jerry proceeded to pick one of the tacos up as he looked at his daughter. "We're so proud of you. But honestly, you don't have to make dinner every night."

"Of course I do, silly!" As soon as Summer let out her statement, she immediately gasped in horror as she dropped the lid. "Oh my heads! Daddy, I'm sorry I called you silly! I'm so sorry!" Summer immediately fell down to her knees as she pressed her hands together in prayer. "Heavenly head and cranial creator! Forgive my transgressions against family and community! May my chores complete me as I complete them!"

After her short prayer, Summer immediately walked upstairs towards her room, leaving Beth and Jerry to puzzle out the situation at hand.

The next world that Reimu and Morty landed in their fight for the portal gun was a lush, green jungle world. The two didn't take their time to admire the scenery, and instead resumed fighting once they made their way through the portal. "Give me the portal gun, my family needs their safety!" Morty yelled, attempting to punch Reimu. By now, they were visibly exhausted, with several injuries covering up their bodies ranging from scratches to bite marks, and both of them even had a black eye from getting punched.

"Your family? The one you left behind!? Isn't Grampa Rick family?" Reimu retorted. She attempted to punch Morty once more, but the awkward teen dodged it.

"He is not my family, and neither are you! Why can't he be like any other drunk grandfather!?" an angered Morty asked before kicking Reimu in the shin.

"Well if it weren't for him, neither of us would even EXIST, YOU SELFISH BRAT!" Reimu was about to punch Morty in the nose, but before she could do so, she and Morty saw a shadow descend from the sky. They looked to see that the person who cast the shadow was none other than Rick's old friend, Birdperson. "B-Birdperson?" Reimu asked.

"Yes, that is me, Reimu." Birdperson stated. Once he landed, he noticed the pose they were in. "Why are you two fighting? Aren't you supposed to be cousins? And why do you have Rick's portal gun?" Reimu and Morty realized what they were doing and quickly let go of one another. Despite Birdperson speaking in a deadpan manner, the two could see worry in his eyes. "Let me take you two inside first, I can heal you there."

"Thanks for the save..." Reimu mentioned. At this point, she and Morty started feeling guilty over fighting one another.

By now, a worried Rick was pacing back and forth, leaving Marisa to stress eat, Miku to look at him in worry, and Ice-T to continuously text on his phone. "Please, I know you are worried about your grandchildren, but as you said, stress does not make music. Ice-T and I are still here." Miku gestured to Ice-T, who merely looked up from his phone with an uncaring expression on his face.

"Eh, pass. I think I'm done with this rock anyhow." Ice-T stated. He was about to walk towards the door when Miku stopped him.

"Please! You and I are the last surviving musical artists known! You can't just waltz out when the world needs heroes!" Miku begged.

"Yeah, ya can't just walk out, ze! There's a planet in need of savin'!" Marisa joined in. She walked towards Miku and stood beside her. "'Sides, the United States government picked you up for this occassion! 'Ya need to pull yer weight around here!"

"Pfff. I ain't worried about no Earth blowin' up, man." Ice-T nohocolantly replied.

"Wait, what!?" a shocked Rick asked.

"Yeah, you're just as human as us! You should care!" a worried Miku pointed out.

"Well, tough shit. I ain't even human." Ice-T took a few stepps back and assumed a T-pose. Much to the shock of the room's other occupants, Ice-T began floating as he transformed into a gigantic shard of ice floating a few centimeters above the ground, though his face remained intact and he still wore his plastic gun necklace.

"Oh my God, what is this?" Miku asked in shock.

"What the fuck? That's your true form? Just a plain ol' pillar of ice!?" an equally surprised Marisa asked.

"Just the hell is up with you!?" an angered and surprised Rick yelled.

"My story begins at the dawn of time in the far away realm of Alphabetrium." Ice-T narrated. "There, every being is a letter of the alphabet. But I was frozen and exiled to the cosmos by my elders as punishment for not caring enough about anything. Earth is just one of the many stops on my lifelong journey with no destination. So you better believe I don't care if it blows up! Cause I'll just be ice, floatin' through space, like a comet!"

"Take it from me, Ice. *urp* You can't just *urp* float around space not caring about stuff forever." an angered Rick stated.

"This is insane..." a shocked Miku lamented, attempting to proceeds the information that Ice-T gave her. She soon shook her head and looked at the plastic gun necklace that he had around him, which was still intact even after his transformation. "Wait, that necklace of yours... it was made here on Earth, correct? Then there must be something here that you cherish!"

"Eh, potato pototo." Ice-T blatantly replied. "It doesn't even matter. Good luck, you three. You'll need it." Ice-T gathered up energy and proceeded to blast off, leaving a temporary ring of dust, a gaping role in the roof, an angered Rick, a shocked Marisa, and a frightened Miku, who proceeded to faint at the sight.

Beyond the glass wall, the President and General Nathan looked on in shock. "Ok, things are getting out of hand. I better make sure Rick and the remaining members of his crew have everything they need to 'get schwifty'."

"Oh, for God's sake, that's enough." after pinching his nose, Nathan pointed a gun towards the President.

"What the hell are you doing, Nathan? I'm the goddamn President of the United fuckin' States!" the President replied.

"Not anymore." Nathan replied with a sadistic smile on his face. "I'm setting the nuclear option to launch one minute into Earth's performance, and setting a distraction in the place of these wannabes. And you, Mr. President, I hope you like being shot in the face with a gun!"

Before the President had any time to ponder, General Nathan knocked him unconscious with a pistol in hand and a smirk on his face before shooting the door, short-circuiting the mechanism responsible for opening and closing it. As he walked outside, a shocked Marisa walked up to the window and watched in horror as he proceeded to tie the President up. "No!"

It turned out that Reimu and Morty landed in Birdperson's home planet, which was known as Bird World. Morty and Reimu were sitting on a couch in Birdperson's house as Birdperson himself was recharging Rick's portal gun, which from the outside resembled a bird's next with a mud brick hut stationed on it. Within the building, it was functionally like any house on earth, though there were some tribal and even animalistic themes within. The two were telling their story from the beginning when the Cromuolon showed up all the way to when Morty stole Rick's portal gun and caused a fight between himself and Reimu over it.

"...and that's the jist of it. I guess I screwed up big time." Morty said. By now, he had finished the story as Reimu looked at the bowl that Birdperson presented to them.

"I believe I can access the history of Rick's gun and help you get back to him." Birdperson stated, causing hope to light up in Morty's eyes.

"Really? You could!? I really need to patch things up." Morty said. Soon a guilty look went onto his face. "God, I hope my family is okay."

"Was your intention to abandon Rick using his own portal gun?" Birdperson asked. "In bird culture, this is considered a dick move."

"You got us on that part, Birdperson." Morty stated.

"Then why did you do that?" Reimu asked. She proceeded to look at Morty as she shed a few tears from her eyes. "Why flip off? I asked Grampa Rick if he had enough charge for a few stops, then you just upped and left. A dick move indeed, but why?"

Morty took a deep breath before speaking. "Remember that day where Rick and I replaced our dead counterparts, the day we replaced your cousin and your grandfather after they died in an explosion?" Reimu didn't say anything, yet merely nodded in response. "I did not want to experience that again, and I knew that my family would be in danger out in the open, which was why I wanted to get them. If I had to move to another dimension, I would've taken them with me. I did not want to start all over again."

"I get it." Reimu said. She proceeded to hug Morty. "However, you're not the only one in the room who knows what it's like to lose friends and family. Before my original Grampa and Morty died, I lost my parents. Both of them. It took a few days to bounce back, but while I am still able to give genuinely happy smiles, there are times I just want to go to a corner and curl up into a little ball and just cry, but no. I have to stay strong, I have to stay positive, that's what Mom and Dad would've wanted for me, and I am pretty sure that would be what Beth and Jerry would want from you."

"R-really?" a tearful Morty asked.

Reimu released the hug, but gave him a stern glare. "Really, but riddle me this. Your parents and sister are just a few fish in an endless ocean. I get that you lost your original versions and have to make do here, and there's even more out there. But don't you think that they might come face to face with the same thing you did? I doubt that Jerry would survive the encounter with his dead self unscathed, as for Beth and Summer, I hope that they could recover." She proceeded to look at Morty directly in the eyes. "As for me, well... I am not sure what I would do in this 'other world'. Even though four relatives died, I still keep things positive. Not because I want to, but because I have to. I have to stay strong for Mom and Dad, and for my original versions of you and Grampa Rick, otherwise, I'd end up going down a path that spells nothing but heartbreak and trouble. Are you willing to go down that path yourself?"

"N-no, Reimu." Morty answered.

Reimu's eyes lit up as she let herself smile. "Then get that metaphorical mud off your pants. Hopefully, they haven't gotten to Earth yet, so perhaps we might have some time."

They were about to leave, but Birdperson proceeded to stand up. "Before you two go, there is something you must know about Rick. Sure, he doesn't think about the consequences of anything he does, but as a result, he has the power to save or destroy entire worlds. And he is the reason you and I know each other. And the reason I'm alive at all." Birdperson pointed towards the wall behind the two humans present, and they were greeted with a multitude of photos.

Morty looked at one photo, which displayed a younger Rick with his hair slicked back. He was engaged in a side hug with Birdperson, who was standing in front of what looked like a primitive flying machine similar to Leonardo da Vinci's blueprints, only that it was made of metal instead of wood. Reimu looked at a photo that displayed Rick, Birdperson, and Squanchy, the former of which was wearing a tank top and and earring, holding a guitar as Birdperson screamed into the microphone with his arms and wings spread out while Squanchy played the drums. From what Reimu read on the drum's logo, Rick and his friends were in a band called 'The Flesh Curtains'.

"Wait a minute, this one is weird, Reimu." a curious Morty said, electing Reimu's attention.

The two looked to one last picture and saw a younger Rick standing beside an alternate Johnathan and Katasura. "Mom? Dad?" Reimu asked as her eyes widened. The two were as she remembered them ten years prior, but the young girl at the center was a younger Reimu. Rick was engaged in a side hug with his son, who was holding hands with his spouse in a loving manner. Johnathan was in a typical business suit with a white undershirt and red tie while Katasura was wearing the miko outfit that her parasitic clone counterpart was wearing. The young Reimu stood on a box behind the two, having her hair shortened in a bob cut, and had an outfit consisting of a casual white shirt and a crimson red denim skirt, as well as some white socks and black Mary Janes shoes. The young Reimu bore an innocent smile on her face as she waved at the camera with one hand and held a graduation cap in the other. Even if it was a picture, the light in her eyes was reminiscent of a kid on Christmas morning and still shone just so.

"Yeah, and there's a younger you right there." Morty added, pointing towards the young Reimu. "Why would Rick keep this? I didn't have you in my life until Rick and I abandoned our original dimension... Does that mean my Rick isn't from the dimension I am from?"

"Unfortunately, Rick won't allow me to tell you. He's made me keep it a secret for years, and made me swear not to tell anyone." the avian stated with a slight look of guilt on his face as his eyes looked downward. "However, I will not stop you in your quest for answers, but know that your grandfather is not the one to give up secrets right away. Take your time in your quest, and sooner than later, the answers will arrive."

Before they left, Morty and Reimu found that Birdperson's television was on, broadcasting the Cromulons' Planet Music show. The television displayed Earth being surrounded by a bunch of Cromulons. "THAT WAS CHUNKY TUNK WITH 'FULL MING MONG, EMPTY GOP DROP!' UP NEXT, PLANET EARTH!"

"Oh my God, we've been fighting for that long!?" a worried Reimu yelled out.

"Holy crap, we have to go right fucking now!" Morty said. Reimu nodded and proceeded to open a portal to Earth.

The two proceeded to go in as Birdperson looked on. Once the green portal vanished, the avian alien found himself alone once more. He took his time to take a deep breath and proceeded to walk towards the television. Despite his tendency not to show any emotions, he couldn't help but to be worried about them. However, "Good luck."

Back at Seattle, Beth and Jerry have been called over to the church, where they were sitting around a conference table with Gene Vagina and the rest of the clergy. "Jerry and Beth, your family is a golden example of what Headism has to offer the world." Gene Vagina concluded as he stood up from his chair.

"The world?" a confused Beth asked.

"Headism is a hit." Principal Vagina said. As he spoke to Jerry and Beth, he walked towards the couple with a smile on his face. "We're taking it worldwide and would like Jerry to be our church's 'Head' of Advertising."

"You… would?" a confused Jerry asked.

"Beth, we'd like to promote you from horse surgeon, straight past human surgeon, to 'Head' of Medicine." Gene Vagina continued.

At that statement, Beth immediately stood up and clasped her hands together in glee. "That's my dream! That's my dream."

As Gene Vagina and the rest of the clergy got up from their seats and shook hands with one another, Jerry decided to speak on his and Beth's behalf. "Thank you. This is all so overwhelming, but, uh… we can't."

"Absolutely not." Beth said, still wearing a grin on her face as he spoke in tandem with Jerry.

At that point, Gene Vagina let go of his fellow Head Priest's hand and looked at the couple with a scowl on his face and eyes widened with shocked. "I'm sorry?"

At the shocked question of the ironically-surnamed man, Beth proceeded to give an answer. "We've been waiting sixteen years for our daughter to respect us." As she spoke, her smile turned into a slight frown. "But the key is, it has to be "our" daughter, not this person she's become."

"We'll take our chances raising her without fancy new jobs outside of a potato-based religion." Jerry continued, causing gene to raise a brow in annoyance as the brown-haired man put his shoulders on his wife. "And you know what? I'm sick of pretending that we're together because of our kids and niece in the first place! I married you because you're the love of my life!"

At her husband's statement, Beth put her arms around his sides. "And I'm lucky to have you and I never tell you that! You know, we will come out of this stronger as a family!"

A FEW MINUTES LATER...

Unfortunately for Beth and Jerry, Principal Vagina did not take the rejection of his offer lightly, and instead labeled the couple as heretics. They were currently tied together and tethered to the ground as their own daughter tied balloons on them to make them airborne. "Please don't do this, please don't do this! Summer!" Beth begged, attempting to get to her daughter, who was not listening to her mother's pleas.

"Summer, listen carefully." As Jerry spoke, people began gathering around as the clergy prepared a new Ascension. "I stole a paper clip and I have it in my cheek but I don't know what to do with it and it hurts."

"You're going to be okay, you'll come back as babies." an unfaltered Summer assured.

"I AM A BABY! I'M A BABY NOW!" a fearful and frightened Jerry yelled as he attempted to struggle free.

By now, Reimu and Morty have managed to return towards the studio, only to find that Rick has been sitting on the couch with a saddened Miku while a desperate Marisa was continuously trying to break out of the door. Upon hearing the sound of the portal open, Rick immediately ran towards the two. "Jesus Christ, it's about time you two managed to put aside your differences!"

"What happened here?" a worried Morty asked.

"That Nathan guy happened, that's what!" an angered Marisa answered. "He pistol-whipped the President and locked us inside! Ice-T flew the coop as well, and he was literally made out of ice, too!"

"Does stuff like this happen all the time in the United States?" a confused Miku asked.

"Thankfully, no and not everywhere. It's usually confined to Seattle." Reimu answered. She looked towards the President and saw that he was tied up. 'Normally, I would not see the sight of seeing someone tied up as a good sign, but given the circumstances, it was a blessing that Nathan didn't kill him.' Reimu didn't say anything, though she looked at her grandfather and handed him the portal gun.

With the sight of the President being tied up and the door being sealed, Rick immediately opened a portal to the other side. As soon as the last person went through, Marisa went towards President Curtis and proceeded to untie him. Almost immediately, he gasped and proceeded to climb up on the console and push a button. "This is Bluebird. Code tango-niner-alpha. Abort launch. Abort! Hello?"

The sound of crickets chirping echoed across the room, and Reimu began to don a confused expression on her face. "Why am I hearing crickets?"

"I don't hear 'em." Marisa answered.

"Just don't think about it, Reimu." Rick stated.

The President was about to say something, but shook his head. "Never mind that. He's blocked me out!"

A worried Morty ran towards the President. "Sir, we need to get to the stage and impress those things!"

"It won't matter how impressive we get, Morty. The General's got nukes set to launch halfway through a song set up to buy him some time!" the President pointed out.

"Well we've got six people here, counting you, President Curtis!" Reimu pointed out. "Grampa has done some pretty crazy beats, and Miku has natural musical talent, while you have the authority needed to call off the nuclear strikes. That leaves Morty, Marisa, and yours truly able to be in either team."

"SHOW US WHAT YOU'VE GOT!"

The muffled voice of the Cromulons elected their attention, and everyone looked at each other. "Okay, how will we sort this out? We've on right now, so Nathan's probably got the missile launchers prepared." President Curtis asked.

"Mr. President, if I've learned one thing today, it's that sometimes, you have to not give a fuck!" Morty proceeded to look at Rick. "Rick, open a portal to the stage, right now!"

"Wait, why?" Rick asked.

Morty let out a sigh. "Even if we can't save my family, I want to at least save everyone in this room. Now enough talking, let's just get the fuck to that stage!"

"Why did General Nathan ask us to do this again?" a brown-haired, blue-eyed man of Mediterranean descent asked.

"All he said was that the previous pick was 'unavailable' right now. In all honesty, I don't know. He said something about music and making a song." The person who responded was of Northern European and Native American descent, and he was just as uncertain as his colleague.

"SHOW US WHAT YOU'VE GOT!"

At the sound of the Cromulon's booming voice, the two leapt back with a yelp. "Okay, okay!" 'God, we're not musicians, don't rush us!' They attempted to play music and sing along to it, but it was a low-key, unimpressive song, which made the Cromulons angry. They eventually let out boos, jeers, and the point that it was not the individuals who they wanted to play.

By now, Beth and Jerry have been fully airborne, and Gene Vagina proceeded to pull out his trusty pair of scissors. "Headward free now to rise!"

Before he could cut the rope and send the dysfunctional couple into the air, the Cromulons seemingly became displeased. At the sight of several angered heads, the townspeople began to think they must have done something wrong. "Hey! Look at the heads! Looks like the heads are gettin' angry!" Mister Goldenfold pointed out.

"I'm sure that has… that has nothing to do with this." Principal Vagina was undeterred by the heads' sudden started to boo and jeer, seemingly at Beth and Jerry's Ascension.

Upon the observation, Summer gasped. "The heads are displeased!" Summer proccedded to grab her parents' legs in order to hoist them down, soon joined in by Ethan and several other residents of Seattle.

At the anger of the Cromulons, the two men took several steps back. "We're not musicians! General Nathan put us here, we promise!" the first man protested.

As soon as they spoke, a portal opened on the stage, and six certain individuals walked out. "Alright, gentlemen, you are relived for the day." The person who spoke was none other than President Curtis, who arrived with Rick, Reimu, Marisa, Morty, and Miku. At the sight of Rick, his granddaughters, and their friend, the Cromulons began to smile and cheer.

"M-Mister President, we were told that you were dead!" the second man said in shock.

'He claimed that I was dead but didn't kill me? Man, he's such a moron.' President Curtis thought. He proceeded to look towards the soldiers. "Regardless of my life, I should let you know that we should leave this business to the professionals."

At the sight of the heads cheering, the townspeople began to pull harder in response. Beth and Jerry were quickly untied as soon as their feet touched the ground, causing them to let out heavy sighs of relief. "The heads love this! They love it when we DON'T kill the Smith family!" Mister Goldenfold stated.

At the threat of his newfound power, Gene Vagina pointed an accusatory finger at the crowd. "No! Stop that! You're not allowed to interpret the will of the heads!"

"But what about the General? He blocked you off, didn't he?" Morty pointed out.

At that part, the President, who was looking in his watch, realized what Morty was saying and looked towards one of the soilders. "Can anybody let me borrow their watch for a second?" The second soldier said nothing and proceeded to hand him the watch. "Well look who's getting a raise." Curtis proceeded to activate the watch, turning its camera and microphone on before proceeding to speak into it. "Call off the nuclear strike! This is the President. Stop the nuclear missile launch!"

Back in the shelter, various officials looked in shock, yet obeyed their leader regardless. However, General Nathan observed this with a look of anger in his eyes. "Just launch the missiles!" Despite his orders from his superior, Nathan proceeded to press the button, causing two nuclear missiles to launch straight towards the yellow Cromulon.

The general did not correctly estimate the size of the missiles, nor did he care how big they were. When they hit the gigantic head, they did not even make a dent on the planetary being, who merely scowled in response. "BOO, NOT COOL!"

An annoyed Gene Vagina was protesting against the seeming revelation, angered that even his clergy had turned against him. "I'm the only one that speaks to the heads!"

Suddenly, one of the Cromulons zoomed closer towards the Earth, looking considerably angrier than the rest. "DISQUALIFIED!"

"The heads disqualified Vagina!" Mister Goldenfold said. "Get him!" He pointed an accusatory finger towards the Head Priest, who looked on in fear as an angry mob proceeded to chase him and take him into the ground. Beth and Jerry stood back, having been unsure of what to do as the town proceeded to tie the principal up.

"DISQUALIFIED! DISQUALIFIED!"

As the Cromulon zoomed further, they activated their plasma ray, which began to glow purple as it pointed towards the Earth to strike. Though the General retained his cocky smirk despite his failure, the scientists and officials in the bunker began running around in terror. Rick was about to pull out his portal gun in defeat when Morty pointed towards an object in the sky. "Rick, what's that?"

As the laser fired towards the stage, the object flew into its path, causing the laser to get reflected from its target. Reimu and Morty, despite not having seen the events that happened after the latter stole Rick's portal gun and caused the former to fight him for it, somehow recognized the entity. "Ice-T?" the two asked in unision.

Miku couldn't help but smile at the sentient ice shard as a single tear fell down her eye. "So you do care after all..."

"That's right, it's me, Ice-T! I care now! You made me care more!" Despite being able to reflect the laser, it was clear that Ice-T's body was crumbling and could only hold the blast back for so long. "With all due respect, I'd like to hear what Planet Earth has to play."

"Thanks for the save, Ice-T! We really needed that!" Marisa praised. She was happy that they were able to keep their version of Earth for another day.

As the Cromulons deactivated their laser, Reimu and Morty looked towards Rick and Miku. "So what do you say? Are you in?" Reimu asked.

"Certainly." Miku said with a smile.

"Well in that case, are you ready to get riggity-riggity WRECKED, BITCHES!?" At Rick's question, several of the heads began cheering in response. Morty proceeded to tune the piano to a different tune, and he, his family, and his friends began singing, with the exception of President Curtis, who merely danced to the tune.

Rick: Alright!

Reimu, Marisa, and Miku: Ohhhh yeahhhh!

Rick: Come on, here we go!

Morty: Ohhhh yeahhhh!

Rick: Say it with me now!

As they started singing to the tune, President Curtis mentally shrugged. He couldn't help but to dance to the tune of the new hit song, even singing along on a few lines.

All: Head bent over (yeah)

Raised up posterior (oh yeah)

Head bent over (oh yeah)

(Raised up posterior!)

The Cromulons started to cheer due to the next song. Back in Seattle, Goldenfold, the new Head Priest, was currently tying balloons to a scared and freaked out Principal Vagina for his ascension. The cheering of the Cromulons only enticed them to continue. A priestess proceeded to use Vagina's own scissors to cut him from the rope which he was tethered to, allowing him to get sent skyward. "Ohhh my fucking GOOOOODDDD!"

All: Head bent over (yeah)

Raised up posterior (oh yeah)

Head bent over (oh yeah)

Morty: Raised up posterior!

As soon as the six finished their song, the lead Cromulon looked down at the Earth with a smile on their face as they proceeded to talk. "AFTER NINE HUNDRED AND EIGHTY-EIGHT SEASONS OF PLANET MUSIC, THE CROMULONS HAVE DECIDED TO DECLARE EARTH THE FINAL WINNER AND BRING OUR MUSICAL REALITY SHOW TO A CONCLUSION. GOODBYE!" The Cromulons proceeded to transport the Earth back to its pre-existing location in its orbit around the Sun. Surprisingly, the moon hasn't been thrown out of orbit by the Cromulon or Earth being transported to their show.

Upon seeing the blue sky once more, everyone started to cheer.

At Seattle, the Headist cult started to disband upon what they heard from the yellow Cromulon. As everyone started at the now blue sky in shock, various people were starting to take off their Cromulon-themed hats as Ethan released the balloons from his hand. "Did he just say 'musical reality show'?" a confused Goldenfold asked.

"Yeah, it's possible that we may have been correlating some things that weren't actually related at all." Jerry answered.

Beth didn't say anything, but deep down, she knew that the heads were no gods all that time. Before she could say anything, everyone noticed that Principal Vagina was still floating in the air, barely being brushed over by the trees. "HEEEEELLLLPPPP!"

At the sight of Principal Vagina's current state, a worried Beth looked towards the crowd. "We should go get him."

Back at Area 51, everyone was celebrating now that the Cromulons were gone. The various soldiers posted outside were dancing and singing, and Miku let out a heavy sigh of relief as she smiled. 'Not my preferred genre, but surprisingly, it did a good job at impressing those things.' She looked around and smiled. 'I might not ever sing with them again, but perhaps I could set up a team of my own once I return to Japan.'

As the various staff celebrated, the President proceeded to shake hands with Morty. "I hope I can call on you again if we need you, Morty."

"Aw geez, it's a little too much to ask for me, my grandfather takes my cousin along for the rides." Morty answered as he awkwardly rubbed the back of his head.

"Well, I'll *urp* admit it, Morty. Unlike most Mortys, you've got serious balls of steel." Rick said before taking a drink from his flask.

"Aw geez, thanks." Morty took a moment to look at Reimu, who merely smiled, and then at the President. "I was kinda hoping that I could get a selfie with you?"

"Actually," Curtis developed a sheepish expression and called two Secret Service agents over, who proceeded to smash Morty's phone in half. When President Curtis spoke a second time, his voice was as cold as ice. "Actually, if you try to tell anyone what happened here, we'll deny it and probably worse."

"Come on! The boy just wanted to take a selfie with you!" an annoyedand angered Reimu protested. The two agents looked at each other, and then at the President, who shrugged in response. The raven-haired girl looked at her brunette cousin. "Don't worry, I'll buy you a new one once we get home."

"DIIIIIIIEEEEEE!" Everyone looked to see an enraged and pissed-off General Nathan run towards the group with a rifle in his hand. Before he could get close enough to shoot any of the people on stage, Rick readied his watch and fired at him, disintegrating his entire body as the gun harmlessly dropped to the ground.

The President looked in confusion at the situation. "Why didn't he turn into a snake?" Curtis asked.

"Trade secret. Particle beam in a wristwatch… snake holster on the leg." Rick pulled one of his pants' legs up, revealing a machine which opened up, releasing a small green snake into the area, which began slitering past the soldiers, one of which whistled in amusement. For the President himself, even though Rick didn't turn people into snakes, he was still impressed that he had perfected the technology. He internally admitted to himself that he was starting to feel envious, yet said nothing as he smiled.

After the incident with the Cromulons and their music show, any Headist cults that were centered around them had disbanded, though there were some that persisted, either in denial or for those that were preparing for similar events. After everything died down, people started to return to their normal lives as if nothing happened.

However, there was something happening in Gensokyo, specifically, the neighboring forest. As isolated as it could be from any human activity, there existed a mansion. The stones and overall structure would appear to be centuries in age, but the Western (specifically German) style of build contrasted with the oriental structures around the time. Many would say that the mansion is an urban legend, perhaps even a myth, but little do the people of Gensokyo know the history of the mansion, or those who reside in it.

Despite being isolated from the world, the mansion had inhabitants. Among one of them was the head maid Sakuya Izayoi, who had been standing on one of the mansion's balconies. She saw the lead head as it spoke out its last announcement, and in a flash of light, it was the regular old sky with the moon in view as it should be. Even if the mansion survived unscathed, she couldn't help but to let out a stressed sigh after everything that happened. "Just my luck. First that family, and now those flying heads? What in Izanagi's name did I do to earn this?" the maid asked cynically.

"Perhaps it has nothing to do with what you earned. Perhaps it is a matter of fate." the voice of a young preteen girl said. Sakuya looked to see the owner of the voice, who has the appearance of a small child of European descent. She had short blue hair, blood red eyes with catlike slits and strangely enough, a pair of batlike wings sprouting from behind her back. The girl had an attire consisting of a light pink mob cap with a red ribbon on it, a pink dress, white stockings, and some black Mary Jane shoes. She was also carrying an umbrella, providing a bit of shade for her to hide from the sun's rays.

The vampire looked at Sakuya, who took a deep breath and responded. "Mistress Remilia, if I might ask, but how do you suppose that this is all fate-related?" a confused Sakuya asked.

"Eh, just a deduction of mine." the young child put her hand into her view, and looked to see strings manifest in her hand. "I don't have as much of a hold over fate as I used to, but I can still make pretty accurate answers." Remilia smirked as she looked at her maid, displaying a pair of sharp fangs that stationed themselves in her mouth. "And who knows? Perhaps they're connected in one way or another?"

"Yeah..." Sakuya lamented. She looked towards her mistress once more, seeing that she was walking back into the mansion. "Where are you going, Mistress?"

Remilia stopped and looked at Sakuya. "I've got to have to feed my little sister. While you're at it, you could prepare some tea and biscuits for the two of us so we could discuss this further."

As the child walked into the mansion, the maid took one last look in the sky before pulling a photo out of her dress. It was a photo of the Sanchez/Smith family that she snagged, which included the parents, whose names were Beth and Jerry. Marisa was absent, so she deducted that the blonde is not related to them by blood and was a freeloader or some close friend of theirs. Since her encounter with the family, she has developed a grudge against them. A part of it was because of her status of being raised by youkai, and another was because she nearly got caught by the time cops once again, and another part was that they were abusing time. But there was one person (even if it it was in one of the sixty-four timelines) who showed her a bit kindness, and that was Reimu.

Sakuya didn't know what to think about her. If it weren't for the information she's gathered, she would've that that Reimu was adopted, but it was a surprise that she was blood related. The girl's overall appearance reminded her of the Hakurei shrine maidens of the distant past, who disappeared after their shrine was bulldozed. While she wasn't on her duties, she was thinking of ways to get back at the Sanchez/Smith family, though a small piece of doubt sprouted in her mind. She quickly shoved it down, and sighed, though one thought remained in her mind as she walked towards the kitchen. 'Could she be... one of them?'

Here we have it, folks! My rendition of the 'Get Schwifty' episode of Rick & Morty. I am proud of this one, but at the same time, I am doubtful that I set this up with good storytelling. Now, Hatsune Miku was there as a guest character, though I might bring in more of her in the future. I saw a lot of Touhou art and Vocaloid art together, and much like the popular crossover between Rick & Morty and Gravity Falls, I decided to put her in as well. I hope that I am not bringing myself to a screw-up with this chapter, considering I slightly altered Nathan's plans in the later half, but again, I am doubtful. On the flip side, did you see what happened with that extra scene I added at the end of this chapter?

By the way, with Christmas coming right up, so does the one year anniversary of this fanfic. I am planning on adding a surprise later on down the line, so just stay tuned when it happens, okay? It might not be where I was expecting it, but I needed to get it off my chest. See ya when I publish the next chapter!