I don't own twilight.
also please note that I do have dyslexia. I'm not ashamed of it because it is something I cannot control but I am self-conscious about it. so a lot of my words are misspelt and many, many of the sentience's are a little back to front. I can't tell you the amount of time I've gone to reread something that I have written but couldn't even understand what I was trying to say.
Please leave comments and listen to the songs if you haven't already heard them.
Be my baby chapter 8 Electric Feel By MGMT.
One month later
"ya know… Oscar Wilde went here. there are over 200,00 books in this library". Demetri said raising his eyebrows at the she wolf. The pair were walking down the street, with Leah holding on to the tracker's hand. To anyone, it would look like they were just another couple having a Romanic stroll together. When in reality the she wolf was only holding on to his hand because she didn't want to fall over and squish the half vampire half wolf inside of her. it had been one whole month since leaving her childhood home, one whole month since she had seen any of her friends and family, and one whole month since she knew that all said friends and family were running around the world looking for her. her stomach had grown to the size of a watermelon in this time. everywhere she went she either have to hold on to the wall for support or clutch on to Demetri. she could stand on her own for a few moments but those few moments never lasted too long. Her legs would begin to start getting weak and she would start to feel dizzy. It had been getting harder and harder to hold any food or drink down. She figured her stomach only look bigger than it was because of all the weight she had lost in that month, but she couldn't be sure. when the tracker would go out hurting he would bring back fresh blood for her. they would mix it in with her food, due to her refusal to drink it from a cup. the brawl that had taken place the first time Demetri had encouraged her to drink blood became so bad that that one of the many hotels workings had to go up to their room, and tell them to keep it down or they were out. The absolute last thing Leah wanted to do was drink any kind of blood. The she wolf just kept telling him that yes, even though their baby was half vampire she was a wolf, and the baby was part wolf. She just insist and insist that she would overcome her craving, and just be fine sticking with bananas and whatever else she could hold down. But eventually, once Leah had begun to get weaker and weaker he talked her to in it and she gave in.
The tracker had stayed with her every step of the way just like he had said he would. they would bicker and she would throw stuff at him from time to time but all in all, having him around twenty four seven hours of the day wasn't the worst thing she thought had ever happened to her. Leah had actually grown to enjoy his company. Demetri would take her out raguly, to parks to little cafes and stores, telling her that walking was good for her and the baby.
They were about halfway down the start when looked up and spotted the trinity college library.
The tracker knew she enjoyed reading so he walked her in there.
They'd been there for a few hours before she began to feel hungry. The couple was sitting over by a window both reading books.
"I'll go get you a muffin".
"hold the blood". She said not looking up from her book.
He smirked at her moment. "without the blood you wouldn't be able to stand".
She shuttered at the memory of the metallic liquid making its way down her throat. She shuttered harder remembering how much she liked it. Leah moved one hand over her rounded belly. 'couldn't have liked chocolate and candy-like every other kid in the world did ya?. no you just had to like other people's blood. I'll tell ya, your lucky that your my life's priority now.
"What flavor?". He asked. Demetri got his answer in the form of a snort. "right, banana, why did I ask". He walked off just as her phone rang. The tracker looked back at her and her ringing phone.
She took it out of her pocket and gazed at it. "it's fine it's just Seth".
He nodded and continued to walk away from her.
She held it up to her ear. "Seth I told you I'm not telling you where I am". She rolled her brown eyes. Every time her brother would call her the first thing he'd do was ask where she was.
"you'll slip one day and tell me". Seth huffed.
"keep dreaming". she scratched behind her ear.
"Mum's still worried bout you. she'd like to talk to you again".
Leah sat up a bit straighter. For the first time, the week before Leah had spoken to her mother for the first time since leaving. There were tears and some pleading. But in the end, Sue agreed to let Leah do what so felt she needed to do. they talked for a while but the baby began to kick her…. hard. As much as it pained her to do it, then the she wolf had to make up some excuse and needed the phone call.
She cried for a long time after that.
"is she with you now?". the she wolf asked anxiously.
"no, she's umm….. in her room…. Asleep".
'bullshit'. She thought. Leah knew that her mother wasn't in her room. That they weren't on the rez at all. Demetri had been keeping tabs on everyone from back home. using his mind tracking stills, telling her where they were every time they moved. She knew who was looking for her, and who was looking for her where.
And right now her mother, brother, and pack were in Aspen.
'I bet they're there because one night at dinner I said I would have wanted to go skiing'. The blacked hair beauty looked over her shoulder, trying to spy on the tracker. When she couldn't see him she turned back around. "okay…well…. Maybe when she wakes up then….. in her room". Leah couldn't let on that she knew where they really were. If the she wolf were to let know that she knew they were in Aspen her brother would question how she knew this. The she wolf knew that Seth may not be able to figure it out but if it got back to the Cullen's…. well. There was no doubt in her mind that the vampires would put it all together. They'd figure out she was with Demetri and hellfire would rain down upon her from everyone she knew.
"so what are you up to today?".
"nothing just ready a book, enjoy a nice sunny day on the beach". she lied. It was so overcast that the morning sky almost looked black.
'so it's sunny where she is? better get back to Jacob on that'. Seth thought in the back of his mind. "what's the beach called?".
"what you gonna googled it and book a plane ticket?".
"yeah thought I'd try my new floaties out".
Leah chuckled.
"what are you reading big sis?".
She flipped back to the front page. "the six wives of king henry the eighth".
"Which one you up to?".
"still on Catherine of Aragon".
"was she the one who got beheaded?".
Leah could tell from her brother's voice he didn't really care. History wasn't something that interested the young wolf, and he was going trying to keep the conversation going. "no that was Anne Boleyn….. or Katherine Howard".
"He beheaded two of his wives?... what a prick".
"that he was little brother, that he was". her pretty dark up gazed up at that moment and caught the eyes of a handsome man sitting a few tables away. 'well hello' she thought. He had short dark red hair and dark eye like her own. She couldn't tell how tall he was but he seemed like he had some muscle on him. 'his cheek bones could cut glass. In looks, he got nothing on Demetri though'. Her eyes widened realizing what she had just thought. 'where'd the hell that comes from. Leah shook her head forcing it out of her mind. She squinted at the handsome stranger for a second longer then went back to her phone call. "so how's life back on La Push?".
"same old, same old. Quill gave Embry a black eye playing basketball". That actually was true. It didn't happen on La Push but it did happen.
"fascinating…. Captivating stuff".
"only the best news for you". Seth chuckled. "you gonna asked about the Cullen's?... Ness, Jake?".
"how's Jake and I don't care about the Cullen's". her voice went flat.
"do you at least care about Jake's imprint?".
She rolled her eyes "yes fine. How is our alpha's imprint?".
"she's fine".
"that's it….. she's fine?".
"well yeah".
"I wasted my breath just to be told that she's fine?. At least tell me she's driving, or grown boobs or something?".
"Hahaha". He laughed sarcastically.
The she wolf peered up over her book again to see the man now coming over to her. 'oh crap he's coming this way. "hey little brother…. I'm gonna call you back".
"you're ending our call already?".
"yep bye". The she wolf hung up just as the stranger approached.
"This seat taken?".
"umm…. No". she knew she should have told him to get lost. But in truth, Leah wanted to see how this placed out. It had been a long time since a good looking man had come up to her.
"what's a lass like you doing seating all alone". He raised a red eyebrow.
'I'm not alone' she what she wanted to say. "why you wanna know?... you wanna keep me company?, is that it". she smirked. "are you lonely over there with all your books?".
"I just don't think a fine looking lass such as yourself should be left alone".
"Is this a dangerous library?".
"only the worst of the worst". He chuckled. "that's your name?". He asked with a kind smile.
"Leah….. you?".
"Darren". He leaned on the wall and looked out of the window. "nice day".
"you call that I nice day?". she pointed to the dark sky.
He grinned. "nice enough for a walk".
'I wonder if he's noticed my stomach or not. She thought almost sadly…. Almost. The she wolf had been sitting on the edge of the window seal. With her knells tucked up to her chest… or at least as close to her chest as she could get them. 'if only you knew Darren'. She decided not to step her feet back on to the floor and enjoy this for a little while longer. Knowing that nothing could happen more than a little flirting. 'the second he sees my stomach he'll be turned off. no guy wants to be shackled to a chick with a kid that isn't his'. "well I hope you have a good walk then".
"what's wrong? got something against taking a stroll with a good looking lad on your arm on a nice day?. or just don't like walking?".
"It isn't the company".
"well at least I get to take peace in that?". he laughed again. "come on…. there's a park..".
"I have your muffin". A smooth voice interrupted from behind her.
She stiffened and closed her eyes. 'Demetri'. Darren stood up a little straighter. Leah bit the inside of her cheek. 'how long has he been listening for?'. "deme..". she was cut off before he could finish.
"I got you your muffin". He repeated. This time looking in to Darren's dark eyes. "banana….. just like our baby ordered".
"baby". Darren took a few steps back.
Leah chuckled and looked up at the library ceiling with her lips in a tight line. She then scooted her body to the side of let her feet touch the floor. displaying her large pregnant belly.
"ohh….. so I guess you're not alone then". he tried to chuckle but it died in his throat. "I'm sorry that I bothered you then".
"you really didn't".
"Apology accepted". The tracker talked over her and smirked.
"congratulations on the babe". He nodded to Demetri and turned away. Heading back over to his table to pick up his book as if nothing had happened.
"was that really ness…..".
"was talking to him?". he cut her off again, taking his seat across from her. he tossed her the muffin, which she caught with one hand.
"he just came over". She said taking a rather large bite. Closing her eyes enjoying the taste of banana. "it wasn't a big deal".
He scoffed.
"what?". She raised an eyebrow. "you worried he's was gonna become our baby's step dad did ya?". Leah suppressed her smirk.
"that's cute. But our…". He emphasized the 'our'. Our baby doesn't need a stepfather. I'm his father and I'm right here".
"his?".
"were doing this again?".
She shrugged.
"All I'm saying is I'm this baby's father. Boy or girl this is my baby. and I'm the only one it's gonna call daddy".
"All he did was come over". She gave him a sly grin.
"All he did was come over". He shook his head. "all he did was try to sleep with you".
"so?". she laughed.
"so?". he raised one of his eyebrows.
"It isn't like I could do anything if I wanted to. encase your forgetting I can't walk to the end of the hallway without feeling dizzy".
"but if you didn't?".
"but if I didn't what?".
"feel dizzy….. would you…. Of..".
"you're a pig". Leah broke off part of her muffin and throw it at him. "what are ya thinking asking me that for".
He shrugged. "I don't know…. I just know that…. that?". a big toothy smile grow on his face.
"that, that, that what?. Say it".
"I may not know I whole lot about humans. But I have heard that some pregnant women….. went it".
"sex". She raised her eyebrows.
"yeah…. Have you?".
"be careful". She warned.
"do you get the urge?".
The she wolf throw her head back and signed. "if I did..". she picked her words carefully. "you wouldn't need to know".
"Ohh really".
"Mmm Hmm".
"you know I could right?... I mean….. help you with that?".
"I'm sure you would love to help me with that wouldn't you?".
"Yeah, I'm really helpful that way". he shrugged.
"I'm sure you are".
"you'd remember". he grinned back at her.
"actually….. I don't".
"really nothing… nothing of that night….. our night". He reached over and carefully caressed her stomach.
"I remember waking up the next morning feeling horrified". She took another bite. "if that's what you're referring to". the she wolf covered her mouth as she spoke. Not wanting little bits of her food to fly out as she talked. "why would you even want to anyway?".
"is that a trick question?". He asked.
"I just mean don't I smell like crap to you?".
"you're not so bad". Demetri shrugged. "now that you carry my child within you I can barely smell the wolf on you at all".
"How can that be?".
The tracker shrugged again.
"do you think it would just be to you?. or could others vampire not smell me like I did before?".
"no idea, don't want to find out". He answered truthfully. "All we really know is my smell has changed to you. it has become as desirable as my face to mere mortals". Leah sarcastically laughed. "whether or not yours is, is a mystery. A mystery in which we aren't not going to be figuring out any time soon".
'any time soon. The words ran through her head. Leah looked back down at her banana muffin and took another small bite of the edge. Pondering on what Demetri had just said. "Demetri..". he looked up at her. "what do you think will happen if your family finds out".
"if?... they'll find out".
The she wolf sucked in a sharp breath out air.
"But..". he reached over and took her hand in his. he rubbed it gently with his thumb, trying to calm her. "I'm going to protect you, both of you. nothing will happen that would hurt". Leah didn't look even the slightest bit convinced. His purple eyes, due to the contacts, flickered down to her stomach. "He wouldn't kill you… or our baby".
"But how can you be sure?". she crawled.
"because there is nothing that even comes close to the uniqueness of what you hold inside of you. and then we have you, who is also yourself extremely unique. You're both one of a kind and Aro….".
"I'm not living them the vampire mod". She cut him off angrily.
"I'm not asking you to". he defended himself.
"oh really?. Because it sounds a hell of a lot like you are".
"I would never ask you to do something that would make you so uncomfortable".
"why!?, because you care about me so much!?".
"yes". Demetri said firmly with hardened eyes. He scanned the room quickly to make sure no one was listening to their conversation before turning back to his baby Mumma. "you are the mother of my child. Yes…. I am still loyal to the Volturi. They've been my family for over two thousand years. But it's all different now, it's all changed now". the tracker had now taken both of her hands in his. "all I am…. All I have…. And all of my loyalties…. Are now to you and this baby".
Leah felt her eyes beginning to get damp. No, she would not cry. The she wolf hated feeling weak. She hated feeling like she needed a man to look after her even though she knew it wasn't the case. Deep down she knew that Demetri wouldn't have taken all the way to Ireland just for some cruel trick by the fancy vamps just to trap her. she knew deep down he was being truthful and meant every word he said. as much as Leah didn't want to let herself fall in to his cold arms, she felt herself falling…. Falling hard.
He suddenly smirked. "have you ever met an Italian?". He chuckled. "we're all about the family". Demetri said making the hand gestures.
She snorted.
"besides". He lent back and signed. "you both a hell of a lot safer with Aro than I am with your family". The tracker stopped to think for a moment. "in fact, I think you are safer with Aro than I am with Aro".
She cooked her head to the side, letting her hair fall down her shoulder. "how do you figure that?". she finished off the rest of her banana muffin.
"you're not the one who went against your family for one night of truly…". He shut his eyes for a moment. "truly mind blowing pleasure". She shot him a look. "knowingly at least". He grinned.
"Demetri… are you in danger?". Leah hadn't really thought about if the father of her child would be in danger of his own coven or not. Yes, she had thought about what would happen to him if her own family or the Cullen's found him. but hadn't considered what would happen went he or they went back to Italy. 'I just amused….. or at least at first amused that when he came back for me that he was going to take me back to Italy with him. as some sick girt or prize for his masters. I really hadn't thought about if they would hurt him or not for what he had done. If he would suffer any consequences for sleeping with me. but I see how stupid of a thought that was now. I'm not only a wolf but I'm on the side of the coven his coven hates and wants to destroy. It would be like if Princess Leia randomly had sex with a stormtrooper. What was the idiot thinking?'. She didn't wait for his response. "you idiot". Leah exclaimed loudly. "what were you thinking?".
"I was thinking a drop dead bombshell of women was throwing herself at me. and when a pretty girl wants to kiss you, you let her".
"no matter how drunk she is, I guess". Leah crossed her arms. "you put yourself in a dangerous spot just for sex?... that's it. I will never ever understand man". She shook her head angrily.
"I guess I thought you were so beautiful you were worth it".
"no!". she pointed at him. "you can't sweet talk me out of being mad at you. no matter what you say your still an absolute idiot".
The tracker chuckled.
"what if we do get caught by your psycho family?. Tell me, what's your plan when he kills you for knocking me up and I have to be there alone with no pack members to have my back and no family to lean on?. and on top of that I'll have a baby to take care of". she bit her lip hard. "I don't want to be alone. I…..I don't think I could handle being alone without you". Leah couldn't bear looking in to his eyes as she said that last part.
In the last month, they had spent together is was the most real moment they had, had together.
The first truly honest moment between them.
Right down to the core.
Demetri scooted himself right over to her and held her in his arms. "If I thought even for a second that you would be alone in this….. there. In that place without me. then I would never have come back for you. I know it wouldn't risk killing me. I'm one of his most favored guards. By killing me he'd have less power and if it's one thing Aro wants more in the whole world than blood it's power". He grabbed both sides of her face and forced her to look in to his eyes. "your safe….. I'm going to keep you safe". He almost lovingly ribbed her cheek with his fingers.
As a touch, as she was enjoying his display of affection she couldn't quite stifling her yawn.
Of course, he noticed immediately
"come on". he stood up and reached out his hand for her to take. "it's time to go home".
Carlisle and Esme.
"he's a hard bugger to find isn't he". The doctor mused as he walked down the street. His wife's hand in his.
"Carlisle my love it's been a month. He hasn't picked up even one of your calls. He doesn't want to be found".
"We have to keep trying. If we don't find Alistair we may be forced in to asking Demetri". "the Volturi?". She spoke sadly.
He mirrored her sadness and nodded.
"it will be the Absolut thing we'll do if we have to…. but my love you didn't see her. she was dead on her feet. If I let anything happen to her I would never be able to forgive myself, never be able to look Seth or Sue or Jacob in the eye ever again. I know I'll never be able to look at myself in the mirror even again".
"she was that bad huh?". Esme said quietly.
"I know she wants to be alone, I do think it isn't right how we're all looking for her when she doesn't want to be found. But she was so sick. I just need to know if she's alright. I need to know that she isn't any worse and if she is…. Then I need to know that I could help her".
Esme sweetly smiled at her husband. She moved towards him and touched his face. "I married a good man".
"it's a shame that good man isn't a tracker". The doctor joked.
His wife quietly laughed. "then the man who is the tracker better answer one of your calls soon".
Edward, Bella, Jacob.
"I don't understand?. So one of your pack just up and left?". Tonya asked Jacob, who was sitting across from her on the couch.
"something like that". the shapeshifter replied. "she was…. ill before she left us. we need to find her, make sure she's okay".
"if she was so ill why did she leave?". Kate slightly frowned. the tall blond was sitting beside her sister on the sofa. And to the surprise of both Edward and Bella, and golden eyes Garrett resided in the home with their cousins. It hadn't come as a complete surprise that he was with Kate, but they still hadn't known that the tall vampire had changed his diet.
Renesmee was fast asleep in Carmen and Eleazar.
"that's the thing she won't tell them". Bella rubbed and hand through her hair.
"How can we help?". Eleazar asked Edward who was rubbing his wife's shoulder. The mind reader could tell that Bella didn't want to be there. As much as she wanted to help Jacob find Leah. she'd be lying if she said the she wolf was high on her priorities of things to do.
"All we ask is that you keep our eyes and ears out for anything. Eleazar you still keep in contact with Aro every so often…". Edward didn't get to finish.
"you do?". Bella frowned looking up at Eleazar.
"it was part of my agreement for being able to leave. I could go, as long as I went back every so often to identify if anyone could be useful".
"you help them". to her credit she was able to keep the hurt and disgust out of her voice. 'how could anyone willing help them'. she thought angrily, trying to keep her face as blank as she could.
"I was a part of the Volturi for years, Bella. Agreeing to still be a part of the Volturi from afar was the only way I would have been able to keep and peaceful and safe exit. Nobody can just leave them without a good reason. the only reason Carlisle was free to leave without consequences was that Aro and Carlisle had a friendship".
The shield nodded and looked down. Not knowing what else to say. 'it isn't like I could be mad at him for still being a part of them. he did what he had to do to survive". She told herself. Even if Bella didn't really agree.
Edward took over again. "we're just asking that if you hear anything tell us as soon as you can. We don't know where she is and the last thing she or any of us needs is for her to be caught by Aro. He'd brutalize her if he had the chance. I saw the inside if his mind. because she's a wolf she isn't high on his list but that doesn't stop her from being one of a kind. that and he's always wanted guard dogs".
"How sick was she exactly?". Asked Tonya.
Edward and Bella both looked to Jacob to answer.
"she could barely stand up on her own. I don't even know how she was able to leave the house". His dark brown eyes panned down to the floor sadly.
"All we know was she wasn't alone". Edward put in. "we went looking around town, hoping to find any sign of her. but by the time we got there she was long gone. When I looked in to a store owner's mind I watched as she hopped in to a car with somebody. We weren't able to find a scent or get a good enough look at who it was though".
"who do you think it could have been?". Kate frowned. "it would have to have been somebody who knows about yours and our kind right?. would she have been able to hide that?".
The thought hadn't occurred to any of them before. All three of them stiffened and widened their eyes.
"oh my god…..". Bella looked up at her husband. "we probably know them".
"shit". The Alpha wolf said through his teeth.
"would it of been someone staying in your home?". Carmen looked to Edward.
"It wouldn't be anyone close to us. everyone who had stayed with had barely known or spoke to her. I truly have no clue who would be helping her".
"a wolf then?". asked Garrett.
Jacob shook his head. "no, no way. we all share a hive mind, we wouldn't be able to keep that from each other. And Sam would of hit the roof if anyone from his or my pack helped her leave. That and none of us are missing".
Edward all of a sudden stood up from his spot on the couch. "I need to call Carlisle, let him know what we've figured out".
"Are you sure that's a good idea?". Eleazar asked concerned. "I mean we have no proof that it's someone you lot know. we could be wrong and I don't believe Carlisle would feel right going around to everyone he knows and interrogating them for information".
"we may not have any proof but it's the only thing that could make any sort of scene right now". the mind reader turned back to Jacob.
"who else does Leah know that could have helped her?".
"I've already told you leech there is no one. the only ones who would know anything about us are, the pack, you guys, or the Volturi. The only other few I could think of are either the elders or the imprints".
"Emily wouldn't go behind Sam's back and help send Leah away?". Bella asked him.
"no, not even out of guilt". He shook his head. "plus she wouldn't do that to Sue or Seth. I drought they'd ever talk to her again if she did".
"another imprint then?". Eleazar rubbed at his chin.
"no. she isn't close to any of them. not even my sister".
"where's my phone?". the mind reader asking feeling in his pockets and looking around.
"I think Ren had it last, she was playing angry birds". Said the shield.
He nodded and headed towards the bedroom.
Leah and Demetri in their room.
After the pair had gotten back from the trinity college library Demetri helped Leah down on to her bed. The walk there and back was a little too much for her and pretty much knocked her right out. After a power nap, the she wolf woke back up and decided to watch a movie. At some point, the tracker had come back in to the room and was sitting on the floor with his back up against the bed, while she lay on her side on the king-size bed. He had been in the next room talking with Felix as his baby mama slept. He used his tracking skills to see the burly vampire was on the other side of the Volturi fortress to call him. he didn't want any of his masters in the room or Jane and Alec, and not to forget Heidi. He'd been worried if he were to call Aro or Caius would take the phone away from Felix and demand answers. Answers he wasn't ready to give. Demetri still hadn't come up with a good one to tell Aro.
'what could I say?. He probably thinks I'm too embarrassed to be a part of them anymore. This isn't true but it's the best excuse I have right now.
He and the burly vampire discussed life back home. how they had both been doing. Felix had tried to get more out of Demetri why he had left so suddenly but like all the other times the pair had talked the tracker reminded tight lip. he just stuck to telling him that all will be well in time and not sure Aro understands he hasn't lost his tracker. But only needed some time to sort something out.
Demetri glanced up at the she wolf who was playing with the ends of her dark hair watching the movie. His mind went back to their earlier conversation, and in the back of his mind hung a nagging question. "could I ask you something?". He asked her.
"shoot". Her eyes flickered down to him for a moment then back to the screen.
"you may not like it". he smirked to himself.
"had that ever stopped you before?".
"earlier today… when we were talking about the conception of our child".
Leah rolled her eyes. "how could I forget". She answered unenthusiastically.
"and you asked me how stupid could I have been to sleep with you knowing the risk?".
"Mmm Hmm".
"would you of slept with Sam?".
"WHAT?". She said louder than she had meant to. 'where the hell did that come from?'. The she wolf thought as she sat up straight on the bed and looked down at him. she punch him in the shoulder. "what do you mean by would you have slept with Sam?".
"you told me how in love with him you were. If….". he angled his body to be facing hers. "after he had imprinted on this Emily, had he asked you to bed with him….".
She cut him off angrily. "I'm no whore".
"I'm not calling you one". he defending himself.
"aren't you?".
"would you have done that to your cousin? have sex with the man who was meant to be yours?".
Leah felt absolutely gobsmacked as to why he was asking her this. She just stared at him not knowing what to say. "I never would of… well… she'd… not after what he had done. I wouldn't have just had sex with him after the way he broke it off with me. "why are you even asking me this?".
"because I was curious. I was curious to know if, if you thought sleeping with him would get him back would of have gone that far. Even if that meant you getting in trouble with your pack and family".
"I would never…".
"you were in love with him at the time". it was more of a statement than a question. "I'm not asking you this to attack you. I'm generally interested in trying ti understand what it would have been like for you. think back to when you had found out about the two of them. if he had asked you for one night, even if you knew that possible it wouldn't have worked. And you would have given up your chastity to someone who might not have loved you after all. would you of have done to prove how much you love him"?
"honesty… I really don't know". Leah replied truthfully. She had never asked herself that before. would what be the lengths she'd go to keep him?
'of course, I was in love with Sam at the time. and I was in love with him afterword's. but all the trust would have been gone. And I'd always have that nagging question in the back of my mind asking me if he was still wanted to be with Emily. If he had preferred her to me, if she was better in bed then I was. why had me felt me in the first place to be with her for. all those question would go around in my mind like a carrousel at all hours of the day'.
"I'd like to think I wouldn't of, but at the time I was in a really bad place. I had lost my father, my future was taken from me, my friends were taken from me, my pricey, I really didn't think I had anything else….. I didn't have anything else. I'd like to think I would have told him to hit the road. But….". she looked down in shame. "I was so in love with him". she shook her head as she talked her voice cracked a little.
"hey". He hopped up on the bed next to her. "I shouldn't have brought it up. I was just being nosy".
"no it's fine. I really hadn't thought about that before. I guess in a way… it's kind of opened my eyes a little".
"How so?". he frowned.
"ya know what….. I don't think I would have done it". the she wolf hadn't meant to but she let out a bark of laughter. "I would have been able to tell him to fuck off".
'I would have been strong enough for myself'.
"thank you?". she suddenly said.
"for what?".
"because…". she bit the inside of his cheek wondering if she should tell him this or not. "because in the mouth while I've been with you…. you've..". she shook her head in disbelief. "taught me more important things then Sam ever did. When I'm with you… I feel like I grow and lean. I….I never felt that with him".
The tracker slowly smiled. his hand crept over to hers on the bed and he gently held it in his.
"the best part of the movies coming up". he knew she wouldn't have wanted to talk about what she had just confessed. So he made it easier for her.
He scooted back up against the bedframe still holding her hand. He pulled her up next to him and stayed that way for the rest of the night until she fell back asleep.
Still with her hand in his.
Notes.
Hi all, sorry I was away for so long. I was really unwell for a long time. then I was still mourning my dad, the grief just comes in waves it's the hardest thing. Then my mum had a breast cancer scare. But thank god she's fine.
I'm thinking of starting the romance between the two soon. Maybe in the next couple of chapters. Or even the next one.
I'm not sure do you guys think?.