(A/N): Hey guys! After an eventful and long awaited moment, the game has been changed yet again.
Right now, the Paw Patrol are holding their breaths for Rocky, as his fate is still unknown, and Ryder may continue to go down to the pit of despair, once Rocky's condition is finally revealed, While Chase tries to make sense of all that has just happened. Will he tell Ryder or anyone? It's time to find out!
I know you all are very suprised to see this, after i said that I decided to rewrite this Chapter and the next one, so whats going on?
Well I only needed to change the later part of this chapter, the reason why i said that i needed two weeks, was i was taking my personal life into consideration. the next chapter is the one im totaly rewriting and im almost done, so i may be able to get it up by next friday. We'll see what happens
Now that thats out of the way, Welcome back to Paw Patrol: The Ballad of Dally!
Chapter 35: Accepting the Impossible
It has been four hours since Rocky was brought in Katie's emergency room, and Zuma's patience has been drained. He barely had any energy to keep sitting there, but he sat as stiff as a statue, waiting for Katie to give the good news….or the bad news.
Zuma can't do it again. He can't find a way to motivate himself to get through yet another death of another best friend. Especially Rocky's. Marshall's was heart pulling. Zuma saw him as an inspiration. A big brother if you will, but Rocky, was vastly different. Rocky was his first friend, not to throw any shade at the others, but Rocky was the one who stepped up when Zuma needed somebody.
After being abandoned at the age of three, Zuma put no effort in being with friends. He couldn't fathom the understanding of why his dad left him, and really thought that he would be back one day to pick him up. Rocky gave him the hard reality check and promised him that he would never be alone. But even after that, didn't get Zuma to be more social until Rocky showed him the most generous act, by crafting him a surfboard from scratch, leaving a permanent mark on Zuma's heart. Now Zuma could be hardly seen without Rocky. He did warm up to the other's and spent a lot of time with them, now, motley Rocky of course. At least, that's how it was before, but when Marshall died…...a dramatic change occurred that Zuma didn't see coming.
He didn't expect Rocky to have a smooth and quick recovery from Marshall's passing. With the first few days being the hardest for him, that included shutting himself up and even making an attempt at his life. But even with the worst of it over, Zuam knew that the mixed breed was not really "okay"
The first signs of this were the first few months after Marshall's passing. Where Rocky barely played with the pups. He was more seen around Ryder's garage or his own pup house, usually working on something like a vehicle or something that may or may not be an important for the team, but Rocky would think otherwise. There were even times where Zuma wouldn't even get a hello from the recycling pup. Either he was so focused on whatever he was building or just didn't want to talk. Unfortunately, Zuma took it as Rocky not wanting to be his best friend any more.
Zuma had no idea what he did to make Rocky ignore him, but at least it wasn't exclusive to him. He would treat the others like that as well. With that in mind, Zuma would expect that the others would notice and try to help Rocky, if it weren't for their own problems.
However, despite how Rocky was acting very strangely, Zuma never felt that Rocky straight up ignored him. He still had a smile on his face when Zuma was near him, and he at least had the decency to say "Sorry pal, not today." When Zuma would ask him to spend the day with him. He was at least lucky to get that, and could tell that Rocky was doing his best to make it through. But a few months ago, a massive wedge was driven between them, which nearly pulled them far away from each other.
When Rocky told him that he believed that Marshall was still alive, Zuma didn't believe him at all. He thought that Rocky hadn't moved on at all, and felt that he never will. He told him how impossible it was for Marshall to survive and urged Rocky to simply "Let him go."
That turned out to be a huge mistake. The minute he said that Rocky blew up at him out of nowhere, and screamed at him to go away, leaving Zuma in tears. He thought the first few days after Marshall's death was a difficult time to be Rocky's friend, but after the screaming incident, Zuma couldn't tell if dealing with a mentally damaged Rocky was worse, or Rocky being neglectful to him. He no longer smiled when Zuma was near and flat out ignored him when Zuma would attempt to talk. During this, Zuma felt very guilty for Chase. This was the exact thing he did to the shepherd months prior and it seemed that karma was in full effect.
Zuma didn't understand why though? Why was Rocky so mad at him? He knew how close he was to Marshall, but why would Rocky be so sensitive about him that he would push away everyone for his sake? Even if he knew Marshall would want him to move on? It didn't make any sense to the lab, and it made the water pup have the assumption that Rocky cared more about Marshall more than he cared about himself, let alone his best friend.
The lab began to have serious doubts about his friendship with Rocky. He didn't think that Rocky didn't care about him at all and just pretended to, but it made him think that Rocky saw Zuma as a second best friend, like he valued Marshall more than Zuma. That was a knife that plunged Zuma's heart, as he thought Rocky saw him as his best friend in the world, but Zuma found that it was not the case, and after a bit of being ignored, he considered giving up on him.
Thankfully, the Wintergreen trip happened shortly after and Zuma couldn't have been more glad to be wrong. That trip made him realize how much Rocky cared for Zuma. They came into Wintergreen with their friendship broken beyond repair, but came out more close than they ever were before.
Zuma endured a lot of physical abuse on the trip, from receiving injuries from fights to even being so close from being shot. Each time, Zuma would notice Rocky would be all over him, constantly asking him if he was okay and if he could do something to help him. The most memorable instance though, was when Zuma almost drowned after being stuck in a jeep when it sank in the water. Zuma would've been a goner if it weren't for Rocky diving in and saving him in the nick of time. What made it more eye opening, was the talk they had that night, where the both of them couldn't sleep, and ended up talking to each other and pouring their hearts to each other.
Zuma found out not only what he meant to Rocky, but also vice versa. Right away, Rocky apologized for being such a jerk to him, and making him feel that Zuma didn't matter to him. Followed by Zuma making the apology to Rocky for telling him that he needed to let Marshall go like it was easy.
He then found out that he was not only wrong that Rocky put Marshall ahead of him, but it was shockingly the other way around. Rocky cared about Zuma more than Marshall, even when he was alive. Zuma obviously had doubts, and told Rocky to prove it, and Rocky did, by doing the one thing he never did to Marshall. He kissed him.
Right there, out of the blue. Completely catching Zuma off guard. But what surprised him the most, was the fact that he….enjoyed it.
Prior to the trip, Zuma had no affection for Rocky. In fact, he didn't have any affections at all. Maybe because the pup was still very young and hadn't grasped the concept of love yet, but Zuma wasn't even sure that he liked boys and girls. All he cared about was spending time with friends and nothing more than that. But it changed instantly when Rocky kissed him. Like a cure for an infection Zuma had, Rocky's love spread all over him, amplifying his feelings for Rocky dramatically. When Rocky let go, Zuma lusted for more, so he rushed on him and kissed him back, and the two kissed the night away, falling asleep on each other.
Zuma will never forget that night for as long as he lives. He never had a speck of an idea that he had any deep feelings for Rocky that he knew about.
The night after, Rocky told Zuma that while what they did that night was amazing, he was very skittish about coming out to the rest of the team, feeling that they needed to hold back. Zuma was hurt by this, arguing that they couldn't just brush off something like that. Rocky insisted and Zuma argued, until that came to a middle ground saying that it was "too risky" to follow through with their feelings, at least for now.
What made it hard for Zuma, was that now he was madly in love with the mixed breed. It was torture for him to hold back, and he could tell Rocky was as well. In fact, there were plenty of times where they forgot about the barriers and slipped away.
Zuma often wonders if it will ever happen, that the two can be together with no resistance. Maybe the time just hasn't come yet.
But now, it was a time of hope. Rocky was hurt very badly when the ship crashed. He looked pretty bad when Katie brought him in, unconscious and covered in….blood…." It scared Zuma that he might lose Rocky, like he lost Marshall a year ago. Even without his love for Rocky, Zuma would probably die of grief if Rocky were to go. That's two friends…..two friends within a full year. He didn't want it to become a reality. Especially since Zuma now owed Rocky the biggest apology he could give.
Just before the mission, Rubble confirmed the possibility of Marshall being alive after all, with Marshall's pup pack being somewhere out there in the wild. When he was told that, he felt extreme guilt for not believing Rocky. Which was the one thing that caused all of the animosity in the first place. He needed to say sorry to Rocky, and he needed to tell him about Marshall's pup pack. Rocky was onto something, and although he had nothing to go off of before, it still mattered because Zuma said it was straight up impossible for Marshall to survive. It hurt Rocky, and Zuma was wrong.
The door finally opened, shooting Zuma's focus back on it while Katie walked out of the room, wiping her hands of blood with a towel. Zuma along with Ryder, Skye, and Rubble, all perk, ready to hear Rocky's condition.
"Katie! How is he?! Is he okay?! Will he make it?!" Zuma asked frantically, his words firing off like a gatling gun.
Katie had a soft look on her face. "Settle down Zuma. Rocky will be fine. He's resting now."
The entire room exhaled the biggest sigh of relief as Ryder got up and walked over to her. "Oh thank goodness. You are the best Katie. Thank you."
"A pleasure Ryder." Katie smiled, as she accepted the quick hug Ryder gave her.
"Ca-Can we see him?" Zuma asked suddenly.
"Of course you all can Zuma." Katie answered. "But I have to mention. He's still asleep and..he may not look very pleasant to you all."
"That's okay Katie,...I just….want to see him." Zuma whimpered. Not noticing the worrisome eyes everyone was giving him.
"Are you okay bud?" Ryder asked with concern.
Zuma gave a sad sigh. "I will be, if I see him."
Katie opened the door as Zuma immediately led everyone through. When he got in the room, Zuma nearly passed out. Katie was not kidding at all, it was very upsetting to see Rocky look so dead.
He was laying on his back with his head back. Having a painful look on his face, the fur on his body was near impossible to see due to the plethora of bandages that were all over him, along with his forehead.
The lab shuddered as he went up to his bedside, rising on his hinds and resting his paws on the side of the bed. Starting at the still, sleeping body of Rocky.
Before Ryder could walk in with his pups, Katie put a hand and pulled him aside. "Hold on Ryder. There's something else I need to tell you."
"What is it Katie?" Ryder replied with a curious tone.
Katie put a hand on her forehead and rubbed it gently. "I didn't want to say this to any of the pups, but you need to know this. Rocky….may have suffered some brain injury due to his concussion."
Ryder's heart sank at that. "Oh no. What's it going to do to him…or...what has it done to him?"
"I.." Kated started to speak, but struggled to even start. She lowered her head as if she was embarrassed. "I...uh...I don't know Ryder. I'm not a fully licensed vet, so there's only so much I know right now. Uggh, I feel so ignorant. I'm sorry Ryder, but I don't have a single clue."
Ryder put a comforting hand on Katie's shoulder and gave a smile. "Don't apologize about it Katie. You did all you could for him. The only way for us to find out is to wait until he wakes up."
Katie gave a smile back to her dear friend before they both walked in the room to join the pups, and Ryder's breath was instantly stolen from him. "Man. You weren't playing around when you said unpleasant Katie."
"He had at least fifteen cuts on his body. I was surprised he didn't bleed out." Katie stated. "I had to bandage pretty everything."
Ryder looked all over the pup and shook his head. Nearly tearing up at the sight. "My god. My poor pup."
Rocky suddenly groaned as he fluttered his eyes open and whimpered in pain, as he raised his head and looked around the room.
"Wh-Where am I?" He groans as he pans over everyone who had very worrisome manners on them.
"You'we at Katie's dude." Zuma answered. "You hit youw head on the boat."
Rocky snapped over to Zuma and formed a certain look on his face that creeped Zuma a little. Ryder caught on as he saw the instant confusion Rocky had on his face. He hoped it's not what he thinks it is
"Um….I'm sorry but…..who are you?"
Ryder saw all of his pups gasped deeply, with Zuma nearly being blown across the room at the shocking question.
"Wha-Wha-What do you mean dude?" Zuma breathed, sounding very hurt. "It's me…..you'we best fweind. Zu…"
"Wait! Wait! Don't tell me!" Rocky urged. "I...I do know you. You're my friend, but….I…..you name is there, I know it is….it's….it's…...Z…Z…. Zulu?"
It took nearly all Ryder had to cease his laughing. He was pleasantly surprised to hear Zuma himself, struggling not to laugh.
"He heh heh. No dude. He he. That's not my-heh-name." Zuma powered through, barely keeping in his laughter. "At….At least you know me though."
Rocky stared at the lab for a bit, with Zuma staring back as well. Skye then stepped forward. "What about me? Do you remember me?"
Rocky looked at Skye and cocked his head in pure confusion. "Uh…..N-No. I'm sorry but, I don't remember you."
Skye gave a whimpering gasp. "What? Y-You don't remember me at all?"
Rocky shook his head slowly. "N-No. I-I'm so sorry…" He started to whimper.
"Me? Do you know me?" Rubble asked.
Rocky shook his head as tears formed in his eyes. "I-I don't have a name right now, but I definitely have seen you around."
It was then that Katie walked over to the completely lost Rocky, and snapped her fingers to get his attention. "Hey, Hey, look at me pup."
Rocky met eyes with the girl with a wince. "Huh? Wh-Who are you?"
Katie placed a hand on his paw to comfort him. "Don't worry about me right now. I just want to help you. Can you tell me your name?"
Rocky looked at Katie, a little confused at the question. "Of-Of course I can. My-My name is Rocky."
Katie gave a small smile followed by Zuma, Ryder, and Rubble. Skye was close to sobbing at Rocky remembering Rubble and Zuma, but not her. Ryder went up to her and comfortably petted her for comfort.
Katie then pointed at Ryder. "What about him? Do you know him?"
Ryder looked at the boy and squinted his eyes as Ryder went up to the foot of the bed.
"Y-Yes. I know him. He's my owner. Um?...duh…..uhmmmm…" Rocky was struggling visually as well as mentaly.
"It's okay If you can't remember my name Rocky. You don't need to stress yourself." Ryder warmed.
"No no no! I know it! I know it! Um…" Rocky closed his eyes and concentrated. "You're…..you're…you're…..you're…..R….R...R…. R-Ryder?" Rocky answered with low confidence.
Ryder gave an uplifting smile to the mixed breed. "You're right Rocky...my name is Ryder."
Rocky gave a proud smile back. "It is? Oh thank goodness. That's a really cool name you know."
Ryder let out a small chuckle. "Yeah, I know!" Though his concerns for Rocky still grew. His pup was having a hard time remembering everything, and he was feeling very guilty for putting him in this situation in the first place."
Katie then sped up to him and whispered in his ear. "Ryder, do you have a picture of Marshall on your pup pad?"
Ryder inhaled deeply at Marshall's name before taking out his pup pad. "I-I should. Hold on." Ryder swiped through hundreds of photos, until he found a full body shot of Marshall, smiling directly at the camera. A tingling chill went down his spine as he stared at it. Not wanting to take his eyes off it for more than a millisecond.
Katie grabbed the pup pad and tried to retrieve it from his hands, but Ryder unconsciously gripped harder, not letting it go. "Ryder? C-Can I borrow it for a second?" Katie didn't get a response. Ryder continued to stare at his lost pup, almost scaring Katie to death. "Please Ryder. Your pup needs to see it."
Very reluctantly, Ryder slowly let go of the pad as Katie took full control of it. Katie hesitated a bit, before going back to Rocky.
She showed the picture to Rocky. "Rocky? Do you know who this is?"
Rocky looked at the picture and immediately smiled. "Of course I do. That's my best friend, Marshall."
Everyone in the room was stunned. After he struggled with everyone else's names, he suddenly had no problem with remembering Marshall. Zuma, Rubble, and Skye looked as if Rocky was choosing who he remembered or not, but Rocky said something else that took their breath away in shock.
"Wh-Where is he? I don't see him here. Is he okay?"
Ryder was immediately speechless, along with Katie and the pups. He willed himself somehow to give Rocky the grimful answer. "I-I'm sorry Rocky, but…..Marshall's dead. Heeeee's….been dead…..for a year now."
Skye, Rubble, and Zuma whine for their lost brother. Skye almost fell to sobs. However, they weren't more distraught than Rocky suddenly was.
"Wh-What?! N-No! No! No! No! NO! He can't be! Not Marshall!" Rocky cried his tears out. "No Marshall…...Marshall no! He's my best friend! He's stronger than that!" Rocky then opened his eyes and looked straight at Ryder's. "Please Ryder! Please! He can't be dead! Marshall can't be dead!"
At this moment, Ryder felt like this was a replay of a year ago, where Ryder delivered the heart breaking news to his pups. The only thing he could do, is do the same thing he did when Rocky asked him back then, bow his head in defeat.
Rocky hyperventilated. It was as if Ryder, the pups, and Katie were watching Rocky accept Marshall's death again. He could hardly take it. He was sobbing closer and closer to wailing out loud. "No No, Marshall no! How?! How can he be dead?! There's no way he could be dead for a year?! That can't be true! I just saw him yesterday?! Did I….I….I….I-I-I… Aghhh! My head!"
Katied petted Rocky to calm him from his episode. "Rocky, please. You need to calm down."
"HOW CAN I CALM DOWN?! MY BEST FRIEND IS DEAD!" Rocky wailed, grabbing his head in agonizing pain. "AND I APPARENTLY MISSED IT! HOW DID HE…." Rocky then ground as the wailing caused his migrain to grow. "Ooooow my head hurts!"
"Rocky. You're not well enough to handle this screaming." Katie urged.
"I'm...I'm...so…..tired." Rocky breathed out, as his head plopped on the pillow, and relaxed himself to sleep with an exhale.
Not a word could even attempt to come out of anyone. The shockwaves of what just transpired was unlike anything they have ever felt before.
The only one not in a shocked state was Katie, who put a hand on Rocky's forehead, and brushed it gently. "He's okay pups. He just fell asleep."
"Katie? What in the wowld just happened?" Zuma let out with a cracked voice. "What is wong with Wocky?"
Katie let out a long sigh as she stood up to address the pups and Ryder. "To put it bluntly, it seems Rocky is suffering from a little amnesia, and only has a few memories intact."
Zuma cocked his head in complete confusion. "A-Amnesia? What's that?"
"It's when someone loses their memory. When Rocky hit his head, it shook his brain and caused his mind to misplace a number of his memories."
"You mean, Rocky has lost his memory of us?" Rubble asked delicately.
"Not entirely. It seems like only parts of his memories were lost." Katie explained. "Thankfully, it seems that it's only minor. That's why he could only remember Zuma and Ryder, but only remembered your faces. That's also why he recognized Marshall immediately, but couldn't remember….you know."
The pups whimper again, prompting Ryder to ask the questions. "How long will it take to regain his memories? If he hasn't lost them completely, that is."
Katie looked at Ryder sternly. "I don't really know Ryder. It depends on how fast his mind can replace his memories. It could take days, weeks, months, and even years."
The pups let out more whimpers, with Zuma looking at Rocky with unbearable tears.
"From what I can see through, it doesn't seem like it will take too long. Rocky seems to be recovering his memories pretty fast, meaning that it may take….a week or so."
"A whole week?!" Skye winced. "A week without knowing us? Oh poor Rocky."
"It may take longer and it may take sooner. But that's the best guess I can give." Katie stated. "Now, I feel so sorry for doing this, but I need you all to leave and let Rocky rest for now."
After the pups looked at their friend for what seemed like hours, Ryder motioned his pups to leave the room. They began to walk out the room, with their heads down low and whimpering at each step. All except for poor Zuma, who continued to stare at Rocky like he would disappear.
"I-I can't stay with him?" He asked with a hopeful tone.
"I'm sorry Zuma, but Rocky needs his rest, and I don't want you in here for long. It's not healthy for you." Katie reluctantly replied. "You can come back tomorrow pup. But for now, We need to leave him alone."
Zuma stayed still, taking a few minutes which felt like hours for Ryder. "Zuma? Come on bud. Let's go."
A few minutes later, Zuma bowed his head and closed his eyes, before finally getting back down to his fours, and slowly made his way out of the room. He took one last look at Rocky before he exited the room completely.
Ryder was about to do the same, until Katie suddenly grabbed his arm. "Ryder, hold on."
"What is it Katie?" Ryder asked
"I'm a little worried about what other effects he may have. This amnesia alone could render him from creating new memories as well. I'm going to need to do a lot of monitoring him for the coming months, but I want to ask you personally, be careful what you have him do." Katie requested. "I know you can be pretty careful, especially after Marshall, but you can also be a little too ambitious sometimes. Just, dial it back on not just him, but everyone else. Including yourself."
Ryder looked at Katie and gave a mellow look at her in which she was instantly reluctant on her actions. "Ry-Ryder…..I didn't mean to single you out. I just…."
"It's okay Katie. You're right." Ryder said sternly. "I need to be more careful with my pups. Not to worry, you don't need to stress yourself." He walked to the door and suddenly looked back to her before uttering out another statement. "In fact…..You will never worry about them ever again."
It had been close to maybe an hour since Chase last moved. He had no idea how he ever got to his cruiser and sat in it. Sitting completely still and not even starting it up.
The discovery a few moments ago had completely broken Chase like a machine without a crucial part. Even though his logic proved that there was an extreme possibility of Marshall surviving the fire, there were still some things Chase hadn't figured out to fully accept it.
If Marshall survived that fire, how did he get out? Chase tried to recall everything that happened before he got out. Falling through the floor, Marshall and Skye rescuing him, and Marshall pushing both Chase and Skye out the way from disaster and letting it fall on him. He remembered hearing Marshall say something along the lines of that they were almost out, but Chase couldn't remember seeing any door ways out the building. Then again, it was pretty hard to see anything through a mask and the smoke and flames. So maybe Marshall did see an exit in front of him.
But Marshall was also buried under that huge pile of rubble. He wouldn't have been able to lift the pile up. Rubble himself would've had some trouble, so how could Marshall be able to get out from under it? Maybe if Marshall was standing a little away from the middle, he would have a chance, but Chase didn't know for sure. He didn't see the debris falling on him.
It was impossible to come to a complete answer as to how Marshall survived. The only thing that supported Marshall getting out was that they found no body. They definitely would've found something under all of that. More than a cracked helmet and burnt collar. But they didn't find anything. As if the body just disappeared. Which incited that he was burnt to ash, but Chase just deduced that even that was impossible.
With all the causes of death debunked, Marshall was without question alive. But….was he?
Why did it take a whole year to find him, and why did he not recognize Chase? Why did he not speak of Ryder or even his parents? Why didn't he acknowledge his name? And how in the world did he wind up with Stacy Jackson?
Why didn't he come home?
It was like Marshall had a completely different life without them and he'd always had it. He couldn't fathom that, but no matter how unbelievable it sounded, it looked that way. How could Marshall just forget about his friends and family? Did he…..fake his death...so he could get away or something?
Chase threw that theory out in his mind. Even if he could get past the thought of Marshall wanting to get away, it wouldn't have been wise for Marshall to stay in Adventure Bay for sure. Not to mention, if he was trying to stay away from them, Marshall wouldn't have stayed behind and talked. Marshall would've darted away the second he realized who he ran into.
So…...what gives?
Is he alive or dead? Which one is it?
It was very obvious which one Chase wants to believe, and the lack of evidence from the fire says for sure that Marshall at least survived. But he didn't come home after and acted completely oblivious to Chase and Ryder. Maybe it wasn't Marshall, and Chase's eyes and ears were playing a very cruel joke on him.
Chase's mind was a ping pong, bouncing back and forth between each side. Chase wanted to step on the alive side, but couldn't fully get out from the other side until all things were proven that Dally was Marshall.
Maybe his mind was playing tricks on him, and it was just an illusion.
Bleep! Bleep!
"Chase? Come in bud."
Chase twitched as he answered his pup tag. "I-I'm here Ryder sir."
"Chase where are you? I thought you just had to drop off a notebook?" Ryder asked.
"I-I did Ryder sir."
"Well it took a long time to do that. Are you okay?" Ryder asked back with a little worry.
"I-I'm fine Ryder sir. I'm on my way to Katie's right now." Chase reported.
"Chase, we're not at Katie's. We're back at the lookout."
"What? You're not? But what about Roc…"
"Rocky's fine Chase. He just needs to stay at Katie's for a bit." Ryder said.
A wave of relief washed over the Shepherd, as he was thanking for Rocky's survival. "C-Can I visit him?"
"No Chase. I'm sorry but Katie insisted that Rocky rest on his own for now." Ryder answered.
Chase whimpered in sorrow. "Oh. I see…"
"It's okay Chase. You can visit him tomorrow. For now just come on back to the lookout." Ryder requested. "There's…...something I need…..I need to talk to you about something?"
Chase found that very interesting to him. What could Ryder want to talk to Chase about, and why was he being skittish? "S-Sure Ryder sir. Like I said, I'm on my way now."
"Thanks buddy. Ryder out."
By the time Ryder was done with his office, his tank was entirely gone. He was only able to pick the shelves up, turn over his desk and chair, and pile the billions and billions of beans that were scattered on the floor up and throw them away. The consoles were still laying about, the TV was at least standing on it's base, although it was now useless along with his computer, which was put aside in the corner.
All of the picture frames, hanging shelves, and glass were picked up and tossed, and the pictures and certificates that were in those frames were put in the drawer and that was Marshall's fire permit.
Ryder looked at it as he sat down behind his desk reading the words on the certificate over and over.
Fire Pup Permit
The Fire Dog Association hereby recognizes
Marshall
As an official Fire Pup.
Permitted to fulfill his duties as a protector of blazing flames
while under the watchful eyes of active FRDA firedog
Sparky
Ryder cursed at himself for the bloodstains on the certificate. That was of course his blood from him hitting his head with the frame. He didn't even remember why he did it, but he knew how, and it made him feel so horrible for staining his lost pup's proud possession. He can get a new frame for it, but there was no way to get the blood off the paper.
The past two years had been a grueling test for the boy, and so far, he was failing spectacularly. One pup was dead, countless injuries, concussions, and close calls. His equipment was failing left and right, and almost all of his pups had been seriously injured at least once, along with himself. The only thing that hasn't happened, yet, was the death of a client, thank god.
Is he really a good leader? Does he deserve to have his pups and run the team? Is he really as smart as everyone thinks he is? He doesn't, and the proof was in his hands. The permit of the fire pup who Ryder failed to save. A pup who loved him and believed in him. How wrong he was.
Ryder couldn't stop his tears from falling on paper. He set it aside to not ruin it more than he had. It wasn't helping at all anyway. But just as he put one out of his mind, another one came walking in. Rocky.
Seeing his recycling pup look so hurt, so weak, caused Ryder to doubt himself yet again, and this time, it's going to take a lot more than just being told that he was a good leader and owner. He wants to see it for himself. There was nothing anyone could say to save him now. Not his dad, his pups, the Mayor, Katie, Sparky and Ashley, and not even….
"Ryder sir? You wanted to see me?"
Chase. His first pup. The first being who gave his loyalty to him. The pup Ryder saw as his best friend more than any. A pup he can trust to be honest with him, which was why he wanted to talk to him. He wanted to hear that honest pup tell him what he really thinks of him and if he actually thought Ryder was a good leader and owner.
Upon looking at him though, he noticed that the shepherd had a little troubled look on his face. Like he himself was fighting a battle in his mind.
A curious look dawned on Ryder, as he sat firmly in his chair. "Are you alright Chase? You seem conflicted."
Chase suddenly tightened up as he shook it away. "It-It's nothing Ryder sir."
Ryder lowered his eyebrows. "You sure? You look more uncertain than ever. Is it really nothing?"
Ryder saw the urgency in Chase to change the subject, as the shepherd shot his eyes around the office. "Gee Ryder. You cleaned this place up pretty quickly. Though I'm not used to seeing the TV like that, or your computer not on your desk."
Even if that bundle of words were suitable, Ryder wouldn't have gone with it. He's hiding something. "Chaaase. You know better than to shoo me off like that." Ryder sternly said, glaring at Chase with more concern than annoyance. "What happened to you? Did you really go to drop off the notebook, or did you lie to me?"
"N-No Ryder sir. I-I didn't lie. I did drop off the notebook. I swear!" Chase defended.
Ryder stared at Chase like a judge. He did believe him, but he's still trying to cover something up. "Did anything else happen?"
Chase stared back at Ryder like he was a criminal being interrogated. While the pup is usually great under pressure, they were weaknesses, and standing in front of his owner was one of them. Ryder can break Chase open with only a few words and he knows all of his tricks.
Chase sighed as he bowed his head. Closing his eyes in defeat. "Yes Ryder sir, something did, but….I don't know if I should tell you."
"...why not?" Ryder asked. "Is it something bad?"
Chase raised his head back up. "No...Not really. It's actually quite wonderful. I'm just...not sure about it. Please Ryder, let's talk about what you wanted to. I'll decide on the way, to tell you now, or later."
Ryder was now obsessed with what happened to Chase. He didn't want to just put it on the back burner, but he was lucky to get at least that much out of him.
"Oookay Chase. I'll back off if you're not comfortable yet. But don't expect me to just forget about it, okay?" Ryder replied, his voice as rigid as he could make it.
"Yes sir Ryder sir." Chase accepted. "Now, what did you want to talk to me for?"
Ryder suddenly averted his eyes at the question causing Chase to ask another one. "Ryder? What's wrong? Are you okay?"
A moment of silence filled the room as Ryder debated on whether or not Chase was the right one to talk to. Maybe if Marshall was here as well, it would've been much easier.
He reset his eyes on his police pup and just went with it. "Chase….. Am I a good leader?"
The shepherd stood back in surprise. "Huh? Ryder sir, why would you ask that? Of course you are."
Ryder clasped his hands and hung his head back. Taking a deep breath before he looked at the now worried Chase. "Are you absolutely sure?"
He could see his pup now struggling to answer, which concerned him about what he would say.
Chase let out a mild chuckle. "R-Ryder. You're sorta putting me on the spot here buddy. Wh-Where did this come from?"
"Does it matter, Chase?" Ryder slurred.
Chase's nerves went away, as he suddenly stood firmly. "It does matter Ryder. Trust me. I've had doubts before. It's important to talk about them, or you will never feel confident in yourself. Please Ryder sir. Why are you asking me a question that you know what my answer will be?"
Ryder didn't expect Chase to switch on him like that. In that moment he saw his best friend in him, not the team leader of his rescue team.
"Chase...I'm going to just go ahead and say it." Ryder replied, gaining more confidence to talk as he went on. "I have not been a good leader and owner. In the time since we started, I have had more mess ups, more injuries, and more stupid decicions than I could count. Nearly every mission, one of you gets hurt. I've also given you all faulty equipment and put you all in more danger than the last mission. You pups work so hard for me and all you get is scrapes, bruises, concussions, exhaustion, and broken hearts. That's all you've gotten out of this team. You all put your full trust in me. I can't be more appreciative of that. That's why it tears me apart to see any of you get hurt. Because I failed to keep you all safe, and I know you're all noticing and doubting me." Ryder picks up Marshall's permit which made Chase squirm as Ryder looked at it. "Especially after Marshall's death."
Another moment of silence as Ryder continued to stare at the paper that mocked him.
"...Marshall dying woke me Chase. He gave nothing but his love and trust in me, and I gave him death. With all of you suffering and scared through each mission. Because I made one stupid mistake that changed our lives. I pushed through because I knew you all still trusted me, and in time, I actually felt more better about myself. Thinking that I had learned my lesson I needed. But today told me something different. Today I realized that I haven't changed at all. I put Rocky in a very dangerous position and he almost died. All because I…."
Ryder stopped when he noticed Chase was not looking at him anymore. His head was slightly lowered, and his eyes wide as basketballs.
"Chase?" Ryder called, letting out a whistle to get his attention.
Chase twitched at the whistle and landed his eyes back on Ryder.
"Chase? Have you been listening to me?" Ryder asked, a little irritated.
"Y-Yes Ryder sir. I have." Chase said, suspiciously.
"Then why were you not looking at me? Did I say something to you?" Ryder asked, testing Chase's comprehension.
"As a matter of fact Ryder sir, you did. All of it." Chase stated, matching his solidarity with Ryder's. "You know darn well we don't hold you accountable for those accidents we've had. Not even for Marshall's death. Don't you remember? It was me who lied to you about my paw, and I was the reason Marshall went back into the building in the first place."
"Well..yeah...but…"
"But nothing Ryder. You made the decision after I lied straight to your face. You would have never sent me in had I told you different. So you see? It's my fault as much if not, more than your's, and I'm willing to accept that."
Despite Chase's attempt to motivate Ryder up, it was not working. Ryder felt more guilty for making Chase feel that he had a part in Marshall's accident. Which was true, but Ryder still felt that he had most of the blame.
"Chase. I understand you trying to make me feel better bud, but I still made that decision. I should've never considered you to be in that group." Ryder laid down. "It was me that came to you."
Chase blinked at his owner. "I don't want to play the blame game here with you Ryder sir. It doesn't matter whose fault it is. It's not going to change anything that happened that day."
"I know Chase…"
"Then why are you still beating yourself up about it?" Chase cut off again. "You need to let go of it."
"I can't let go Chase!" Ryder blurted out with a loud slam on his desk. "Marshall should've never been in that position to be crushed! I could've put Zuma, or Rocky or Rubble! Heck I should've gone in! But I put you in! With your paw hurt, I sent you in anyway!"
Chase was going to speak but Ryder shot him down. "Yes! I know you lied to me! I know you underestimated your pain! But I did too! I thought you would be fine, and you and Marshall could be such a great team like you two always were! But I was wrong and I lost Marshall because of it!"
Chase tried to speak up again, but Ryder got louder with sobs. "And now, I've done it yet again! I almost killed another pup today, and now he has brain damage! All because of me!"
Ryder laid his head down and sobbed on his bare desk. "I'm a horrible owner Chase! Plain and simple! I can't run a rescue team! I'm not smart at all! I'm just a stupid ten year old boy who just wanted to help you reach your dream! I went way out of control, and all of you are suffering in my wake because I can't keep you safe from anything!"
Ryder continued to sob loudly. Having fully met his breaking point. Realizing how much of a big screw up was. Then, he felt a tongue lick his face and a paw around his neck. Ryder saw the pup's caring face doing his best to cheer his owner up.
His sobs grew softer as he instantly hugged him back, and cried in Chase's fur, feeling comfort from his first pup. "Why do you even put up with me Chase? Why do you all still look up to me? I can't possibly be this god you all see me as. I didn't give life to you. So why do you all still love me?"
Chase gave a warming smile as he looked at Ryder. "Because Ryder sir. You are more than an owner to us, we see you as a father to us."
Ryder opened his mouth. "Uh uh uh. I'm not finished Ryder sir. You want me to be completely honest, you let me say what I need to say."
Ryder stayed quiet as Chase removed his paw from Ryder's mouth. Sniffing here and there as Chase went on.
"Now, I'm going to forget everything about the Paw Patrol for a few minutes to tell you what you do for us every day. You give us a place to live, you feed us everyday, you play with us, and you talk to us when we feel that we are the worst dogs in the world. We don't follow you because you're our leader, we follow you because we love you. There is no one in this world that we would prefer to take care of us. You've given us a chance to have the best life we could ever have. Being in a rescue team is a big bonus for us."
Ryder looked at Chase with gratefulness. Chase was doing a great job putting him over. But you know what the important thing is though? Rocky, Zuma, Rubble, and even me don't really have anything other than this. Rubble was a stray since he was born, Zuma was abandoned by his father, and Rocky ran away from bad life after bad life, and I….." Chase paused for a second, as his smile faded. "L-L-Lost my father three years ago. What you've done for us is more than we need ten times over. We are soooo lucky we ended up with you Ryder. Had it not been for you, we would have nothing. Skye would've still been with her parents, with no place to call home, and Marshall…." Chase paused again for a moment. "...I-I'm not sure where he would've ended up, but he would've never had a chance to be what he wanted to be. We all have reasons to follow you, because without you, we've got jack squat. Period."
Chase sat firmly as he continued to look at Ryder with sincerity. Ryder felt as if he was just reminded why he started this team in the first place.
"Ch-Chase. I-I'm hum…"
"Hold on Ryder sir. I'm still not finished."
'What is it now?'
"Now you claim that your leadership and your decision making is hurting us. That we are doomed whenever we go out because of you alone. With all due respect Ryder sir, that is the most ridiculous thing I have ever heard in my life. If you think for one second that we blame you for everything going wrong, you are dead wrong."
Ryder just couldn't keep his mouth shut after that. "Chase, please, don't…"
"You seem to forget what the Paw Patrol is, Ryder sir." Chase cut off yet again with a very authoritative voice. "We are a rescue team, not a dance group. We all know how dangerous our job is. It doesn't matter what mission we're on. We could be decorating Adventure Bay with balloons and anybody could still get hit by a car or something. We know that the minute we take the oath."
Chase then sat on the desk, looking straight at Ryder as he suddenly recited the Paw Patrol oath, holding his paw up to his head. "I, Chase as Paw Patrol's police pup, promise from the bottom of my heart. That I will support, protect, and defend my friends and family. From any who threatens their way of life. And will to the best of my ability and unique skills, lend a paw to anyone who cries for it. From the mundane task of picking up sticks, to the daring tasks of suppressing criminals. Even at the cost of my life. So help me god."
Ryder was appalled at Chase's memory of the oath. More at the god part, considering Chase's beliefs.
"I know the oath by heart Ryder sir. I say it to myself everyday, because it's what I live for. It's what we all live for, and it reminds me what my job is and how dangerous it is. Everytime I get in my cruiser, and drive to my mission, there is always the eerie feeling that I may not come back and despite that, I will always do what I can to protect those I love. Marshall had that same drive every day as well."
Chase was still as a statue, while Ryder took in all he was saying. He knew this. He knew everyone of his pups would say the exact same thing Chase was saying. But that didn't excuse Ryder.
"Of course you all know that Chase, and I couldn't be more proud of you all for that." Ryder stated. "But that doesn't help my case Chase."
"It does Ryder sir. Because you live by that oath as much as we do." Chase said with a sharp smirk.
Ryder raised his eyebrows. He didn't think of it that way.
"In fact, it probably means more to you than any of us. You've got all of us juggling in your mind every rescue. You're always planning out multiple ways for us to be safe and efficient. Sure some plans don't work out and some have definitely failed more than others, but even the safest plan in the world could go wrong, or even our equipment can break down at any time. Don't get me wrong buddy, I understand completely how much pressure you have every rescue. How much you squint, wince, and shake in fear of something going wrong. I don't blame you at all for taking responsibility for everything that goes wrong. But the big reason I'm telling you all of this, is to remind you that you are not alone."
Ryder's eyes grew wide at Chase's assurance. "Huh? What do you mean boy? I know you're the team leader, and I don't mean to discredit you, but I'm usually the one that has to plan on these rescues. I decide who comes on the mission based on what we need to do. How are you along with me when I'm usually the one giving out the orders?"
"Because Ryder, I'm the rescuer. I'm the one who goes in to follow your orders. If I screw up in any way, I could compromise the mission. That's how we feel everytime we go out there. We wonder constantly, if we're doing a good job, not just for you, but for our clients and ourselves."
Chase closed his eyes and was embarrassed. "There's no doubt in anyone's mind that I screwed up in the fire. I should have told you the truth. I should have stayed outside while somebody else went in with Marshall and Skye, but I let my ambitions get the better of me, and I lied straight to your face about my hurt paw. It doesn't matter how much you say that you made the decision, because I'm the one who convinced you and Marshall. I betrayed your trust Ryder, and made you look bad in front of everybody, and I'm taking full responsibility for the rest of my life. Because of my little lie, I made you completely doubt yourself as our leader, and made you believe that you had no right to own us. Now I'm not admitting fault here, because really, there is no fault. It was just an accident."
Chase walked close to Ryder, and jumped in his lap. His eyes now inches from his face. "I love you, Ryder sir. You are the best owner I could ever ask for. You're also an amazing leader and the smartest person I know. You can tell me that I'm wrong all you want, but nothing will change my mind. It's hardwired into me because I truly believe that."
Moved by Chase's words, Ryder hugged the shepherd tight and gave him a warm smile. "Ch-Chase. I-I don't know what to say."
"You don't have to say anything Ryder sir. Just please, if you ever doubt yourself again, remember what I told you, and if you need me to say it again, all you have to do is yelp." Chase responded with his full love for his owner.
They stayed like that for a good few minutes, feeling each of their love and admiration for each other. Ryder's second wave of doubts were gone. Thanks to Chase, his police pup.
They eventually let go, with Chase jumping off Ryder's lap, and making his way to the door. Neither one had anything else to say. Well…...not really. Chase stopped midway, and slowly turned around and looked at him with a little uncertainty.
"R-Ryder? There's something else I need to say to you. I-I'm not sure about it, but I think if I tell you this, you can help me…...make sense of it."
Ryder looked at his police pup with curiosity. This must be what Chase was referring to earlier about what happened to him. He leaned on his desk, and looked welcomly at Chase ready for anything. "Go ahead Chase. You can tell me anything."
Chase swallowed a baseball down his throat. His nerves are as high as a skyscraper. "Well….while I was returning the notebook, I….ran into a pup. A pup….that I know."
Now Ryder was on the edge of his seat, very intrigued. "Wh-Who was it Chase? Who did you run into?"
Chase shook as he tried to be as certain he could. "...It…..It was….. Marshall, Ryder sir. I ran into Marshall."
Ryder suddenly let out a huge gasp. Nearly launching his chair back to the wall. His heart climbed as he exhaled his response in pure shock and disbelief.
"What did you say?"
(A/N): Oh what a crucial cliffhanger! It seems Chase will tell Ryder of Marshall's survival! What will happen? Will Ryder believe Chase or will he shoo him off and claim that he is insane for even saying such a thing?
Find out when the finale of Act II releases!
After the finale, Ballad of Dally will take a little baby break so I can make sure that everything is ready, but not to worry! Lost and Found is just around the corner, and after Lost and Found is done, the final Act of Ballad of Dally will commence! Check back in the cave for more information!
Also, there will be an update from the Dragon's Cave on Monday, detailing Lost and Found, and a little insight from the upcoming fic, Raiders of The Lost Ark! I hope to see you there!
Question of the Chapter: In your opinion, Is Ryder a good leader?
let me know in your review!
Please review and tell me your favorite parts and if you have any questions about the story or anything else, just put it in your review or pm me and l'll get back with you as soon as I can.
This Is Sean Thames of Dragonsfire Entertainment signing off!