Chapter 19: The Days Before

"No, no, no!" Sae uttered in frustration for what felt like the 100th time. "That's all wrong!"

The two male servants stopped in their tracks, their faces identical looks of bewilderment.

"That statue goes on the other side of the fountain!" Sae pointed a finger in the opposite direction of the room. "Now take it back, please!"

Grumbling under their breaths, the men lifted the heavy stone statue and slowly struggled to heave it towards the place she had indicated.

Blowing out an agitated sigh, Sae monitored them a moment longer before moving on to her next problem. As she turned towards the right she had to take a step back to let another bustling maid hurry past her, carrying a pile of silk that towered over her head.

"Make sure you don't drop those!" Sae called after her, catching the wobbly way she was walking.

"Yes ma'am!" the maid called back, slowing down her pace.

Pivoting back around, Sae regarded the ballroom with a critical eye. The decorations were coming along, not as fast as she'd have liked, but at least there were things she could check off her long list of requirements. With the exception of the statue currently being hauled to where it needed to be, the rest of the stone figures were set in their desired places. The two fountains were properly set and in working order. The lavender colored curtains were half way up to being draped over the ceiling high glass windows that ran along the whole left side of the ballroom. And the maids tasked with scrubbing the floors were cleaning up the last section of the room.

All in all, she'd say they were about halfway done.

But considering they were a week away from the night of the ball, Sae wasn't completely confident that they would have everything ready in time.

Since the evening the lord had requested her presence at dinner, Sae had been required to attend all suppers thereafter. He rationalized that her role in helping plan Rin's birthday party warranted constant supervision, since she was not always the "best" at following direct orders. So Sae ate her dinners with the lord and Rin in silent bliss, trying her best not to show her pleasure at partaking in the meals. Even though the lord interrogated her about the plans at the end of every feast, it hadn't taken away from the enjoyment of eating such delicious food.

Her days, however, had not been filled with such pleasant delights. She never expected that helping plan an event like this would be so challenging. Not only was keeping everyone organized a difficult task within itself, but trying to meet Rin's desires as well as satisfy the lord's impossible demands was causing Sae some serious amounts of stress.

So much so that she almost wanted to give up all together.

But Rin's excited chatter whenever she started talking about all the fun they were sure to have, kept her going.

So Sae had pressed on, attempting to deal with problem after problem that came hand in hand with throwing a party this grand.

The lord had decided that the small gathering that Rin had originally wanted had not been adequate enough for a ward of his stature. He decreed that a ball, the size one would throw for a girl of nobility, was no less than what she deserved. So the criteria for such an event had doubled, if not tripled, in size. And Sae had been left to fulfill her duty as Rin's caretaker and (now) birthday planner.

Honestly speaking, Sae supposed the stress of organizing the birthday was a lot better than those of certain maids tasked with clearing out the grand room …

Who happened to kept throwing daggers her way, she remembered with an eye-roll.

At first, she couldn't understand any of their ire. For no apparent reason she had female servant after female servant give her the stink eye every time she turned around; as if they found her mere presence vexing. Which confounded her, really. She had worked side by side with most of these girls. They had sweat and toiled together, serving under the tyrant many called housekeeper.

Sure, she'd been disguised as a male, but other than Asumi, she did not see why anyone would really care what gender she actually was. She'd never gotten particularly close to anyone else.

"They are jealous," Asumi had informed her one afternoon, listening to her friend voice her concerns.

"Jealous?" Sae was incredulous. "Of what?"

Asumi looked her in the eye. "Of you."

"Of me?" Sae's voice reached a new note. "But– but why?"

Asumi shrugged. "Of how close you have gotten to the lord."

"Close!?" Sae's mouth gaped open in astonishment for a moment.

"That's what they-"

"We are not close," Sae cut in vehemently, shoving the memory of the lord's kiss to the back of her mind. "I am still a servant under his rule, just like everyone else! I still have to serve him whenever he orders me to. I have no down time, really, because as a caretaker I am in charge of Rin practically every second of every day! I am not complaining because I do care for the girl but my point is that I'm her MAID as opposed to being a kitchen maid."

Asumi was holding up a hand, nodding in agreement. "I know that, but you know how they get once an idea is put into their heads. They might as well be a dog with a bone."

"Urgh, it's not fair though," she continued, still peeved. "If they only knew the truth of it. I would trade places with any one of them if I could!"

Asumi was silent for a second. "Would you?" she asked softly.

Sae looked at her companion in confusion. "Of course, why wouldn't I?"

"I don't know …" Asumi trailed off before shrugging. "I have noticed that the lord is … different when he is around you."

"Different?" Sae snorted. "If you mean more devious and cruel then sure, he is definitely that."

"No," Asumi was peering at her closely. "He seems more… intent somehow. It's hard to explain but there is certainly a difference in his demeanor."

Which started Sae on a long rampage about how untrue that was.

Even now, Sae still continued to add incident after incident onto her long long list of reasons why the lord did not hold a soft spot for her. The very idea was preposterous. If only everyone could have witnessed everything that had happened.

True, things had gotten less upsetting after she moved to the room connecting to Rin's. And by upsetting she meant less opportunities for the lord to get under her skin. But even still, she would not say that it was proof of his favoritism.

It bothered her to think that others were holding circumstances she had no control over against her. It was not as if she asked for any of this to happen. Like everyone else, she was merely a victim of fate. For whatever reason, by the whim of some god, Sae was now part of the Lord of the Western Land's castle.

For the rest of her life, most likely.

Sae rubbed her arms, feeling the goosebumps rise on her skin.

She couldn't dwell on that right now. She had a birthday to help come together and, because of who the guest of honor was, Sae wanted it to be everything that the little girl could ask for. It was the least she could do for the only person in the whole castle who brought back a little laughter into her life.

"Excuse me," a maid bumped her shoulder from the back before quickly scurrying out of the ballroom and into the kitchens.

Sae looked around the grand room and was surrounded by the consistent chatter and busy movement going around the area.

If she wanted to pull it off, she had better get a move on it.

Taking a deep fortifying breath, Sae moved deeper into the room and back into the fray.

"Alright everyone, listen up …!"

By nightfall, Sae was so exhausted she barely recalled any details about super, the process of getting ready for bed, or the fairytale story she read to Rin before she went to sleep.

Her bones feeling achy, Sae fell face first into her small bed. Her cheek hit the pillow in a small whoosh as she sunk deeper into her blankets. The moonlight was shining brightly through her small arch shaped window on this particular warm summer evening. Her room was softly lit by its ray, illuminating her face as she stared out into the starry night sky.

During times like this, when she was alone with her thoughts, she could not help recall certain events that still unsettled her.

It had been awhile since she'd been alone with his lordship. In the mornings, when she was reporting on her schedule for Rin, they were usually surrounded by other servants cleaning around his chambers. At night after super, Sae went over the ball's progress at the table as Rin waited for her to take her to bed and the kitchen maids cleared out the remaining food.

In that time, Sae had come to the discomforting conclusion that she'd gotten so accustomed to having him around that she was now feeling as if something were missing …

Which was ridiculous!

Just more proof of how mixed up the lord had gotten her. How easy it was for him to play with her emotions. To confuse her so much that she even began to miss his way of moving, his cool eyes, or even his overwhelming presence …

Urgh.

Sae buried her face into her pillow.

No, she mustn't think this way. It was just another one of his ploys. Another game he was so much more experienced and ultimately better at playing than she was. She knew those … embraces had been nothing more than a maneuver for power. A way to keep her under his thumb.

Yet, in her dreams, she still remembered clearly the feel of his heat along her body as he pressed against her, the touch of his fingers on her skin as they moved up along her arms, and the softness of his lips as they pressed against hers. The way her very temperature had risen by a mere flick of his tongue or how she had tried to fuse herself closer to him as he held her hands above her head.

She never experienced anything quite like that before. Being sadly naïve in the ways of men, Sae was seriously lacking in any knowledge on the subject of intimacy. So it wasn't truly a mystery as to why she could not help but dwell on his kisses or that she had bewildering reactions to anything that had to do with him.

But she refused to let him get to her that way. The lord already overwhelmed all other aspects of her life as it was. So much so that she didn't even remember what it felt like before her life at the castle. Not that it was all bad, of course. There were things in the past she didn't mind forgetting. And there were quite a bit of aspects in her daily life now that she did not mind. She'd even go so far as to say she enjoyed some of it. Like her time with Rin, the dinner's she was now privy to, or the freedom to roam around freely.

No, she supposed not all of it was bad.

Nevertheless, this uncertain and vulnerable reaction she felt whenever she thought of the times in the lord's chambers were fixations she could do without. It was exactly what he wanted, she was certain. To tangle her up inside so much that she would no longer fight him on anything ever again. A way to shape her into the perfectly obedient human he could control without problems.

Sae, however, was not going to be another one of his women. So eager to please him that they would take any type of treatment for mere scraps of affection. She was better than that. When love happened for her, if it ever did, she knew she wanted a person who was as much devoted to her as she was to him. That was the only way she could see herself trusting another with her heart.

And it was common knowledge that demons did not love.

So she mustn't let what other people say trouble her like this. Even if it had been said by a dear friend like Asumi. Which, indeed, was the whole reason she was even stressing on the matter. Her comment about how the lord was supposedly different around her had stayed permanently lodged in the back of her mind throughout the day, even though all the busy tasks she had accomplished.

Why would anyone even assume that to be true? She had wondered, pondering on the possible behavior they had latched upon to come to that conclusion. When she thought back on the last encounters she had with the lord, there'd been nothing to imply that he felt anything towards her other than his usual boredom and underlining distain for humans. In fact, had Sae not been the person whom he embraced, she'd have thought the whole thing a figment of her imagination.

Because Lord Sesshomaru was incapable of those softer type of emotions.

But Sae could admit, in the dark quiet space in her room, that there had been a part of her that perhaps had sort of … kind of … wanted him to see her differently. That somewhere in her chest had leaped at the thought of the lord favoring her in some way.

Maybe she was insane. Or maybe she was just as stupid as all those other girls. She wasn't sure. But she could not deny that there had been a moment that she'd hoped what Asumi had been saying was true.

Not that she would admit it to anyone, obviously. In fact, come morning, Sae would not even admit it to herself. She couldn't afford to. Otherwise, she'd fall victim to that age old trap that caused so much heartache in the end.

Sighing, Sae turned over to her side and closed her eyes.

Sometimes, when in doubt, it was better to just keep moving forward. There was no point in getting all twisted up about it when she had no doubt the lord barely gave her a second thought.

Must be nice being not to experience emotion, Sae thought before drifting off to sleep.

"I can't believe you pulled it off," Daichi was saying in wonderment, gazing around the ball room in awe. "It looks … amazing."

Sae couldn't help but stand proudly. "It really does, does it not? I won't lie, there was a moment there I didn't even think we could finish in time but thankfully, with everyone's hard work and sense of urgency, we have completed the impossible!"

Daichi looked up at the ceiling, his eyes transfixed on the glittering candle chandelier. "It does remind me of something from one of those fairytales Lady Rin is always going on about."

Sae eyed him, looking closely at his face. "You aren't going soft on me are you, Daichi?"

"What?" the indignant male twisted in her direction. "No! I was merely pointing out-"

"Don't worry my friend," she cut in with a smirk. "I won't tell anyone … especially the women."

Daichi's eyebrows furrowed. "I'm not-"

"Aaaanyway," she interrupted her friend, before he got into a long tirade. "I need you to leave the ballroom."

"What?" Daichi stared after her as she strode past him. "Why?"

"The dance instructor will be here soon and I have strict orders about who may be present for the lesson," she replied, grabbing a small chair by the window and facing it towards the ball room floor. "The lord wants to make sure Rin has no distractions during her lesson."

Daichi made a snorting sound, his obvious annoyance at the mention of the lord. He, like everyone else, knew his place in the lord's castle. But he, unlike everyone else, now harbored a slight grudge against the dog demon.

"I know," Sae sighed, partly in accord with his annoyance. The lord's list of demands only seemed to get longer and longer the closer they got to Rin's birthday event. Sometimes she even wondered if life as a kitchen boy would have been less taxing. "But it was a direct order and I'm already on the hot seat as it is."

"What did you do?" Daichi scoffed. "Offend the lord's sensibilities?"

"I wish," Sae muttered, immediately recalling the incident. She winced, as if the sound of the shattering porcelain was still echoing around the room.

Daichi's interest was immediately peaked. "Oh? What did you do?"

Sae mumbled under her breath.

"What?" Daichi's voice held a note of amusement now. "I didn't catch that."

Shooting him a glare, Sae said in a louder voice, "I broke a family heirloom."

"Which one? Most of them are locked away and safely stored."

"Not this one," the disgruntled brunette bemoaned. "It was –very inconveniently I might add!- next to the northern entrance of the ballroom. And I might of, accidently, bumped into it on the second day of planning the ball."

The young male burst out laughing.

"It's not funny!" Sae instantly protested.

"Of course you did!" he continued to roar. "Only you would bump into a priceless artifact in the biggest room in the castle!"

"Stop that," she ordered, her lips twitching. At the time, she had been terrified of the lord's reaction and what that would mean for her. But after a tense and awkward talk with him, Sae'd gotten off with a few more chores on her plate and stricter guidelines about planning the ball.

So now, a few days later, Sae could admit the absurd amusement of it all.

"Sorry," Daichi chortled, wiping his eyes with the back of his hand. "I could not help myself."

With a small smile and a roll of her eyes, Sae went over to grab another chair and place it next to the first.

"I guess I better leave then," Daichi said after a moment with a dejected sigh. "I have a few more tasks to complete before nightfall."

"See you tomorrow," Sae nodded, her hand resting on the handle of a chair.

He waved before turning towards the exit and walking out.

Inhaling deeply, Sae circled the chair and sat. It felt like the first time in the last few hectic days that she was able to have a moment of peace and quiet. With all the running around and frenzied chaos that resulted in putting together an event, she barely had any time to just sit and take a breath.

Stretching her legs out in front of her, she tilted her head back and took another gander around the ballroom. It really was quite breathtaking to see it in all its splendor. This room had been all but dusty and empty up until a week ago. Most of its furniture had been covered in old white linens and the windows closed shut with the dark drapery keeping any sunlight from reaching inside. Upon seeing it, Sae had felt an overwhelming sensation of dread. There had been no possible way she, of all people, could transform that musky old room into a hall fit for the guests of nobility.

Sae smiled to herself. But she had and there was a measure of pride to be taken from that. After all, she'd been born from a poor family and had grown up as an orphan. A ball of this scale was not something she had ever known. There was something to be said about a person who could still take on the such a responsibility.

If she said so herself.

"Sae!" came a happy exclamation right before a bundle of yellow silk threw themselves at her.

"Rin!" Sae laughed in surprise, her arms automatically encircling the little girl. "Why are you in such a hurry?"

Her grin was wide as she looked up. "I'm just excited! Only 2 more days until my birthday and then we'll get to have so so so much fun!" her body could barely contain her enthusiasm as she bounced up and down. "I can't wait!"

"Oh Rin," Sae chuckled, placing her hands on the girl's narrow shoulders. "I'm excited too, but you'll have to calm yourself before your instructor gets here. We don't want you tripping over your own feet."

"Okay," she took a deep breath and visibly tried to hold herself still. "I'm ready."

Sae couldn't help her small snort of laughter. Rin's attempt at self-control was too funny. The little girl was obviously not accustomed to standing still. Although her bouncing had seized, her feet just could not seem to stop from rocking back and forth.

Rin's instantly looked confused. "What? What's so funny?"

"Nothing, nothing," Sae waved it away, hiding her grin. She then looked out the tall glass windows and checked the clear blue sky. "Where is your instructor? He should have been here by now. The sun is well past the mid-sky."

"I don't know," was her young companion's response. "Maybe he got lost in the woods?"

"He's coming by one of the lord's carriages." Sae said automatically, worrying her lip. If the man did not show up, then Rin would have no one to teach her the new dances they were going to play at the ball. And if Rin could not dance at her own party, then she was surely going to get upset. And if she got upset then the lord was most certainly going to blame someone for it.

The obvious target being her, Sae.

"Maybe you could teach me."

"What?" Sae's thoughts were abruptly cut off as she looked down at her charge.

"Since the instructor isn't here, why don't you teach me the steps?" Rin's eyes shone with delight. "It would be so much more fun if you taught me, Sae! Oh please? I will pay extra close attention, I promise!"

"Rin," Sae held out her hands helplessly. "I don't know how to dance. Not the proper way, anyway. I never learned how."

The girl's eyes went wide. "You mean you've never learned to dance at all?"

Her face flushed a deep red. "Never."

Rin stared up at her, obviously in thought.

Shifting uncomfortably, Sae cleared her throat. "Which was fine with me, I- "

"I'll show you," Rin cut in, a bright smile spreading across her lips.

"No," Sae began to shake her head. "Rin I- "

"Come on," Rin grabbed one of her hands and began pulling her towards the middle of the ballroom. "It's easy."

"Rin," Sae allowed herself to be led, even as she tried to protest. "This is unnecessary. I don't need to learn how to properly dance. I am completely happy not knowing- "

"Everyone should at least try," Rin interrupted her again, her small footsteps determined. "It'll be fun, promise."

Exhaling in defeat, Sae let herself be dragged into making a fool of herself. When Rin got into this type of mood there was no talking her out of it.

"Okay," said Rin, in a very business-like manner, as she let go of her caretaker's hand and twisted to face her. "First you have to learn 1, 2, 3."

"1, 2, 3?" Sae repeated skeptically, crossing her arms.

"Yes," her little face was set in the severest expression she'd ever worn. "It's what will help you count your steps. So remember those numbers for what I show you, ok?"

"Ok," Sae agreed slowly, still unconvinced.

"Now hold out your arms," Rin prompted, demonstrating how she wanted her to position them.

Reluctantly, Sae held out her arms.

Rin then came closer and, her head barely reaching Sae's chest, put one of her tiny hands on Sae's waist and placed the other on top of Sae's left palm. "I'll play the boy and you can be the girl," she informed her with a smile.

Sae looked down and sniggered. The irony. "Considering my height, don't you think it be better if I was the boy?"

"No," Rin stated simply, with an air of superiority. "Because I know how to lead."

Stumped, Sae did not press farther.

"So now you will take a step back and I will take a step forward then to the right then a step back and then end to the left," Rin's words jumbled together at the end. "Got that?"

Sae could feel her eyes grow wide. "No- "

"Go," Rin gave a slight push and began her steps.

Sae clumsily followed her lead, awkwardly stumbling a few times.

"Remember to say repeat 1, 2, 3," Rin encouraged, not once missing a step.

Nodding, Sae concentrated on her feet as she repeated the numbers in her mind.

1, 2, 3 …

1, 2, 3 …

1, 2, 3 …

"You're doing it!" Rin smiled brightly, her face gazing up. "Sae, you got it!"

Unable to fight it, Sae lifted her head and grinned at her young instructor. "I can't believe it," her voice was giddy. "I'm actually dancing. I never thought I'd have the chance to learn. You are one great little teacher, Rin."

Rin giggled. "It's easier to learn with a friend. Now, let's do it with music!" She whirled around in a mil a second and like a flash of light was running towards the open doorway of the ballroom. "I'll be right back!"

Chuckling, Sae waited for her charge to return.

In what seemed a matter of minutes, Rin was dragging along a group of men Sae recognized as workers from the fields. All had similar looks of confusion and befuddlement; No doubt wondering how they had been dragged to the ballroom by such a little creature.

"The instruments are over there," Rin was saying as she pointed to a corner of the room. "I'll tell you when to start."

A couple looking as if they wanted to scratch their heads, the men shuffled over to where the little mistress had indicated and each began to pick up different instruments.

"You really are a force of nature," Sae shook her head in amazement.

Rin grinned as she shrugged. "Ready?"

Sae held out her arms. "Yup."

"Now please," Rin motioned towards the men and then stepped into her companion's arms.

Feeling her heart lighten, Sae gazed down at her charge with affection. She was once again grateful to have met such a kind little girl such as she. "Let's try spinning next, yes?"

"Yeah!" Rin's sudden excitement was tangible.

"On 3," Sae grinned.

"1 …"

"2 …"

"3 …"

And they began to twirl.

Sesshomaru leaned against a cold column, his arms crossed over his chest, and his eyes once again transfixed on the two laughing females in the middle of the ballroom floor.

He'd come to inform his ward of the unfortunate accident that kept her instructor from arriving for her lesson. He'd planned to tell Rin that she was free to divert herself however she wanted while he gave her caretaker another set of requirements for the ball.

Only to step into a hall filled with the thrumming of music and tinkling laughter.

At once, with ice running through his veins, he took a few steps to stop that nonsense. No one, unless he gave direct permission, was allowed to use his possessions at any given time. He was lord of this castle, therefore his commands were to be obeyed.

Only, like a few confounded times before, something stopped him.

That a peculiar young woman with the scent of roses was partly to blame, he could not deny. Sesshomaru had known that he'd been curious about the female. What he had not foreseen was the fascination that the curiosity had transformed into. The process in figuring out the girl had become an interest of knowing more about her. At what point it had turned from a passing fancy to required knowledge, he could not be sure.

But when he realized it, Sesshomaru put an immediate stop to it.

He would not lower himself by trailing after some woman like an unschooled pup. He was Lord of the Western Lands. He was privy to any and all beautiful maidens of this realm. A lowly servant girl from one of the small villages was most certainly no match for him. No matter how intriguing he found said female.

He had thus separated himself from her company. He would not lie and say he had not gotten accustomed to having that insolent woman around. Her quick temper and passionate outburst had given him some amusement for a time.

He, however, knew it was merely because she'd done what no one else had dared to do.

Defy him.

That, he had concluded, was the only reason he kept her around him for so long. Her defiance had been different. Like a breath of fresh air in an overly crowded room. His everyday life in the castle had become so mundane that her fiery spirit had been an almost welcome interruption.

At first, he could admit, he'd not seen that way. That she dared go against his decrees had put him in an almost murderous mood. But after time, as he had observed her behavior, he'd grown almost entertained by her actions. He'd never met anyone so foolhardily tenacious or stubbornly pigheaded. He could almost respect her for it, if he hadn't known better.

So instead of dumping her back to the kitchens where she belonged, he had kept her around and, in result, had lead to her position as Rin's caretaker. Another thing he had not foreseen. Having raised the child, Sesshomaru would have never guessed the attachment his young ward had developed for this particular female. But the connection was there. Proof was in the way the two females interacted and played together.

Or danced, as was the case now.

"I'm getting dizzy!" Sae laughed, her hair flying behind her as they continued to circle around the room.

Rin's girlish giggles filled the air.

Sesshomaru's eyes fastened on his ward's face, taking note of the joyful brightness in her features. He'd never seen her so carefree. Even as he continuously showered her in gifts, her happiness had never been as apparent as it was now.

It was obvious to him that Rin had been craving female companionship. Particularly from a mother-type figure. He supposed it was only natural for a girl her age. Soon she would need the guidance of an older female to help her mature into womanhood.

Perhaps it was time for him to consider his options. He had been advised for some years now that the time to secure his lineage was fast approaching and his need of an heir was of utmost importance. That she would also help Rin grow into a lady was just another reason to look into the matter.

"Faster Sae, faster!" Rin exclaimed.

Sae gave a peal of laughter as she picked up the small girl and began twirling her around and around.

Sesshomaru felt his face harden, as his attention was immediately captured by the lowly servant girl. This would just not do. How was a simple female like her able to snare his regard so easily? The explanation was illogical. He was of noble birth and she …

It seemed that he would have much to consider in the next few months. The female was his property and she would always be there to do with as he wished. But the question that lay before him, whether he agreed with it or not, was exactly what he wished to do with her.

Studying the lines of her face, Sesshomaru tightened his hand into a fist before turning around and walking away.

"Only one more day," Asumi said matter-of-factly, her legs tucked underneath her as she sat on the corner of the small bed.

Sae sat on the wooden stool by the window, gazing out at the dark night sky. It was well into the evening but the hours seemed to blur together for her. After her "lesson" with Rin yesterday, a servant carrying the news about her instructor reached them. Sae had then been tasked with even more demands from the tyrannical demon lord. She could not be sure, but she was rather certain that he was just trying to torture her at this point.

"Sae?" Asumi's voice held a tint of curiosity.

"Hmm?" Sae looked over her shoulder at her friend.

The red head shook her head. "You haven't heard a word I've said have you?"

Sae grimaced guiltily. "Sorry Asumi, I'm just really tired and still have so much on my mind. I feel as if I still have so much to do."

Asumi's featured were sympathetic. "I understand. It is a lot of work but it'll be worth it in the end, no?"

Sae shrugged, turning back to the window.

Asumi's voice became breathy. "You will have such a wonderful time tomorrow night. Among all those elegant ladies and dashing lords! I can just picture it now. You'll walk in, dressed in your gorgeous gown, looking just absolutely beautiful and everyone will stop and stare at the mysterious maiden whom no one will recognize."

Sae finally turned herself all the way around. "You really are a romantic, aren't you?" She asked with a chuckle. "I'm not going to make any grand entrances into the ball. In fact, I'll probably end up in the back making sure everything runs smoothly. If I'm lucky, I'll get to eat some good food and perhaps watch the others dance for a short while."

"Oh Sae," Asumi sighed, wistfully. "Why do you always do that?"

"Do what?" Sae shot back. "Be realistic?"

"No," Asumi's mouth twisted ruefully. "Expect so little for yourself. I know this is not what any of us would consider the ideal life, but you have the opportunity to experience something that most girls here could only dream of. You should take advantage of it. Enjoy it. Don't let your circumstances ruin something that could potentially be a wonderful memory for you."

"I wasn't," Sae replied defensively. She wasn't accustomed to having a friend analyze her behavior anymore. No one around to tell her when she was being foolish, stubborn, or, in this case, pessimistic. It hadn't been something that she'd particularly cared for before, but even less now.

"You are."

"Am not."

"Are too."

Sae's eyes narrowed. "What did we agree about know-it-all's?"

Asumi laughed. "That no one likes them," she nodded with mirth. "In this case though, you have to agree that I'm not only right but you would also be silly not to listen."

Sae grumbled, looking away.

"What was that?" Asumi asked innocently.

Sae sighed. "I'll try," she spoke in a louder tone.

"Good," her turquoise eyes reflected satisfaction. "Not that it'll be too hard, of course. I'm sure you'll be enjoying yourself in no time, dancing the night away and feasting on delicious food."

"Mhmm."

Asumi eyed her companion. "You don't sound like you're trying very hard."

Sighing, Sae got up and walked towards the bed. She then plopped herself onto the blankets and laid down, her feet dangling off the side. "I'll try, promise."

"Do you ever wonder what it be like to be in love?"

Sae turned her head warily, wondering where that abrupt question had come from. "What do you mean?"

Asumi ducked her head, a look of bashfulness over taking her features. "I-I mean to love someone and be loved in return."

Sae's thoughts unconsciously -and idiotically- turned back to what she had been musing about the other night. "Not really," Sae lied, unwilling to voice her inner turmoil out loud.

"Really?" she looked a little crestfallen. "Oh. W-well I have."

Sae looked into her eyes sympathetically. "About Daichi."

"H-how did you know?" Asumi appeared surprised as her face turned bright red. "I never-"

"I guessed," Sae admitted.

Asumi was silent for a moment. "Is it that obvious?" she asked quietly.

Sae grimaced, unsure how to answer that.

"Oh."

"Only to me!" Sae rushed to reassure her, watching her friend's eyes mist over. "I know it's been a while since we've seen each other but I recognize your expressions. You are reserved by nature, however, so I doubt anyone else would pick up on any of the subtle hints. And Daichi himself is oblivious."

"I suppose that's good, at least." Asumi voice was barely audible.

Sae bit her lip, hoping she hadn't just made her feel worse. Had it been any other subject, she would have been a little more confident in advising her friend, but seeing as the issue was about love, Sae felt like she was treading on treacherous waters.

"Do you think …" Asumi trailed off, appearing very hesitant.

Sae tried for an encouraging smile. "Think what?"

Her friend took a fortifying breath. "Do-do you think that he could ever– well– you know-?"

"Um," Sae suddenly understood and wished she hadn't pushed. How was she supposed to be honest with her friend but also spare said friend's feelings? She didn't want to hurt Asumi but she also did not want her to grasp onto false hope. Had it been anyone other than Daichi, she would have thought there'd be a chance. But she'd spent too much time in the male's company to mistaken him for a decent match for Asumi. He was just too fickle for that.

"Asumi …" Sae shook her head, unsure how to voice her thoughts. "Daichi isn't that kind of- "

"But what if I could change him?" Asumi's eyes abruptly blazed with emotion. "He isn't a bad person, Sae. I think with a little bit of work he could- "

"Asumi," Sae cut in sadly, hurting for her friend. "It's not just that he is diverse with his women …"

Her turquoise eyes were wide. "What do you mean?"

"He-" Sae stopped, dreading what she had to say. "He hasn't shown any signs of that kind of interest in you."

The room filled with disquiet silence.

"Right," she finally said in a hollow voice.

"I'm sorry," Sae apologized, hating the look on her companion's face. Although it was the truth, it was no easier to say because of the pain it caused. Her friend was such a compassionate and kind hearted thing; she didn't deserve this kind of disappointment. But she also didn't deserve to be lied to, either.

The truth could be rather brutal.

"I suppose," Asumi spoke weakly, around a sniffle. "It wasn't something I hadn't already known."

Sae reached over and patted her slim hand in comfort.

Her features twisted in self-mockery. "I mean I have eyes, I know he doesn't look at me in that light. I have spent enough time in his company to note the glint he gets when he sees a girl he likes. It did not escape my notice that it's absent when he stares at me.
He has always been a good friend to me, though. And there were times that my chest felt so tight that I was sure it would explode. One smile from him and my day just … got better. I'd laugh a little harder, talk a little louder, and walk a little taller. Not that he noticed, of course. He has this way of staying so very uncomplicated, it makes me envious at times." She sighed. "There was just a part of me that had wanted- no hoped that if I cared about him enough, he'd eventually see me the way I see him. With a heart so full that even I would look like the most beautiful woman in the world to him."

"You are beautiful Asumi," Sae insisted, staring her in the eye.

"Oh Sae," Asumi laughed lightly, squeezing her hand. "Loyal to a fault, as always. I am not attractive in the same way that you are; features so very flawless they form a beauty. Sure, I have my redeeming qualities, but overall most would consider me plain. But that's ok, because I know who I am and I have a lot more to offer other than what people see."

"You are too good for him anyway," Sae said fiercely, wishing she could smack his carefree face in that moment.

Asumi was grinning, as if reading her mind. "I wouldn't say that, my friend. But for the sake of my pride, we'll go ahead and pretend."

"Ok," Sae agreed, still picturing Daichi's dumbfounded face as she gave him a good thrashing.

"What about you?"

"Huh?" Sae mentally shook away her pondering. "What about me?"

"Is there a particular someone that has been taking up space in your thoughts?"

"No."

Asumi became oddly intent. "Are you sure?"

Sae frowned. "Yes."

"Positive?"

"Yes!"

"Truly? Because there are times when I catch you staring off into the distance, as if you were thinking of someone."

"Youhei of course," Sae shot back easily.

"No," Asumi shook her head. "There isn't any underlining sadness in your expression, as you always have when you talk of your brother. It's more of a speculating and absorbed look that comes into your eyes. Like you're trying to figure out an intriguing puzzle."

"Don't be ridiculous," Sae retorted, crossing her arms over her chest defensively. "You are just imagining things."

"Am I?" the red-head regarded her in disbelief. "Or are you simply in denial?"

Sae's lips thinned. "I am not in denial. How am I supposed to admit to something that is not there? You are grasping at straws, my friend, and it isn't something I wish to indulge in any longer. So may we please move on from this topic?"

After a few seconds, Asumi stopped staring at her in speculation and sighed. "Ok, you win. We can drop the matter."

"Thank you," Sae returned promptly, feeling herself relax again.

"Do you have your dress ready?" Asumi asked, in the spirit of changing topics.

Instantly, Sae perked up. "Yes," she smiled, feeling herself growing pleased. The dress would be the nicest thing she would ever own. The material was from the best silk there was to buy and the seamstress who the lord had hired was of an esteemed reputation. After only a couple fittings, Sae'd been presented with the most gorgeous gown she'd ever laid eyes on.

"Can I see it?"

Sae jumped up, not bothering to reply. She rushed towards her closet and carefully pulled out the gown that had been made especially for her. "What do you think?" she asked, holding it up in display.

"Wow," Asumi breathed, awe in her voice. "It's beautiful, Sae."

"Is it, isn't?" Sae peeked over the dress to grin at her. "It is the prettiest thing I've ever worn in my entire life!"

"I won't lie and say I'm not envious," Asumi admitted sheepishly, when Sae came to rejoin her on the bed after putting away her dress.

"I wish you could come," Sae replied sadly, a twinge of guilt hitting her chest. "It would have been nice knowing someone other than Rin at the ball."

Asumi's gave off an air of sudden mischief. "I don't envy you that."

"Thanks," Sae replied dryly.

"I suppose I must head to bed, before someone catches me in your room," Asumi's voice held a heavy sigh.

"I guess you're right, now that we finally figured out how to sneak you in," Sae agreed sadly. "It wouldn't be worth the risk."

"Since the guests will be arriving tomorrow I won't be able to slip away for the next few days. I think the best time will be after the party."

Sae nodded.

"Promise you'll enjoy yourself at the ball?" Asumi looked her in the eye. "And tell me all about it afterward?"

"Promise," Sae half-smiled, hoping that she could keep her word.

*Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of Rumiko Takahashi. The original characters and plot are the property of the author of this story. Any violence, perceived abuse, or negative behavior should not be taken literally. The plot is for entertainment purposes only. This author is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any previously copyrighted material.