I hope everyone is having a good Thursday and an even better start to the summer!

In the last chapter, we were offered a glimpse of Sam's individual sessions with Jazz. We learn that Sam's family has been supportive and she's starting to pick up on skills to use that aren't harmful to herself (and others). Sam is welcoming to their support, but she's still hesitant about any type of advancement in her and Danny's relationship. However, after a long and joyful day celebrating Dani's 11th birthday, Sam was thankful that she gave in and stayed the night with Danny in his room.

Chapter 27: Relapse

Amity Park's Park

May 10th

3:16 pm

Now that school was over for the year and Dani had caught up fairly quickly to the other kids her age, Sam thought it was only fair to give Dani the same summer break as everyone else. It's not like they would stop teaching Dani-her daughter loved learning and she also had a lot still to learn about being a ghost-but spending daylight outside instead of at the kitchen table was good for the whole trio. Danny had decided to pass on summer school substituting this year so he could spend more time as Dani Phantom's mentor.

The small family were taking a picnic in the park and enjoying the spring weather. There was a small band of what looked to be college students playing for tips and across the way were some high school students in a ragtag game of touch football. Some people were playing fetch with their dogs closer to the fountain and some other families had the same idea of eating lunch on a blanket in the park. It was an all around picture perfect day.

Maybe that was part of the reason the lovely couple a few yards ahead of them had decided to come to the park too. Maybe that was the reason the young man had also brought his girlfriend a bouquet of flowers-because it was picture perfect. Maybe that's why he hired a professional photographer to hide behind the tree line so when he knelt down on one knee the picture would have the perfect background of his proposal to the perfect woman for him; the woman he fancied he wanted to spend the rest of his life with. She was overjoyed and accepted his ring and a small bout of applause erupted from the other park goers who were lucky enough to be privy to the romantic scene that unfolded. How sweet!

Danny had also applauded, having seen the young man early enough to bring Sam and Dani's attention to the display. He quietly narrated the scene to his daughter who didn't understand what was happening at first. "So she accepted? Are they going to go get married now?"

Danny laughed, answering, "Yes it looks like she did accept, but they probably won't get married for at least a year."

"A year? Why does it take so long?" Dani asked, looking between her parents for her answer.

Danny didn't have much to say on the subject other than, "I suppose it's because they want to celebrate with their friends and family, and that means giving them some time to come together. And then a wedding often includes a meal and booking a place and lots of other celebration stuff. But you won't have to worry about any of that until you're 30 years or older."

Sam shook her head at Danny's attempt to steer Dani clear of romance. "It's more than that. When a couple decides to marry, that's a really big promise they're making to each other. They need time to celebrate and talk over anything that might cause their marriage to fail before taking their vows. And yes, weddings are for celebrations with those who are closest and care for the couple, so that means some people might have to travel. Places, or venues where weddings are held can be booked years in advance and can cost a lot of money that couples need to save for. And then the vendor, or the place that cooks the food for everyone, needs time to plan a meal. And the wedding cake can take some time and a bride's dress is often handmade and that takes 8 months on average. And depending on the details, a year sometimes isn't enough time and a couple needs longer. Only sometimes will a couple elope, which would be going to the courthouse to make it legal right away, but most people choose to hold off to have a bigger celebration."

"O," Dani's hand found its way to her chin as she took in everything her mother had just shared. That sounded like a lot of work. "Why does a couple decide to get married instead of stay dating?"

The mood changed but only slightly, not enough for Dani to pick up on it. Unbeknownst to her she hit a sore spot. Her dad was slightly annoyed with himself as he was reminded that he almost married Maci even though he knew she wasn't the love of his life. That's the answer he wanted to give his daughter, but he felt a little like a hypocrite. Sam was tense because she was thinking along the same thoughts as Danny but she also felt anxious because she knew eventually she and Danny would have to talk about marriage. Was it something he wanted? Was it something she wanted? What would a marriage mean for them?

"Well," Danny began, knowing his daughter was expecting some type of answer, "a couple might decide to get married because it's more permanent than just dating. And there's some various legal rights that go along with that too. Not to mention most people get married to start their families." He looked to Sam to see if she had anything else to add and immediately noticed how she wrung her hands in her lap. This subject was stressing her out so he did his best to change the topic and distract their daughter, "Speaking of families, are you excited to see your cousin today? I heard he's begun to stand and he might be walking soon!"

Dani took the bait and started talking with her dad about Jazz and Tucker's son and how Dani was always surprised to see how small he was and how she liked when she could get him to laugh. Sam did her best to be present in the conversation but she kept zoning out as she thought about that proposal. Did Sam want to get married? A marriage would be so definite. So permanent. Could she ever get married? She supposed she had always wanted to get married and to fall in love but she had spent years believing it wasn't meant to be for her. She had truly only loved Danny with the intensity and faith that she would want in a marriage.

What about Danny? Danny had never proposed to Maci and he had told Sam a few times that he had never loved that woman the way he loved Sam. Actually Danny was quite open about how he loved her and told her every chance he got, even though she had yet to reply in kind. He had told her that was ok because he didn't want her to say it if she didn't mean it, and he was patient. Of course she loved him-he was the father of her child! But did she love him like she had as a child? Was that really love? Did she love him the way she should love a husband?

The visit with the Foleys kept Dani distracted from her mother's racing thoughts and Danny tried his best to subtly comfort her, but poor Danny didn't know he was part of the reason Sam was freaking out. Every time he reached for her hand or kissed her cheek she wondered if anyone could ever make her feel the way Danny did. She wondered if he would always be there to comfort her. What would happen if one day Danny wasn't there? Or one day Danny didn't love her? Could she handle that?

Again?

Sam excused herself to the restroom and Jazz gave her a knowing look-Sam was trying to use a skill though Jazz didn't know why. They would talk about it later, at their next session. Jazz didn't worry about Sam being alone in their bathroom as there was no medication of any kind out in the Foley residence except for some pregnancy vitamins that Jazz had in excess. She could tell her brother was worried but he seemed to know why Sam was having the anxiety. Jazz took his hand just before he was about to excuse himself to follow her, knowing that Sam needed a chance to regulate on her own, "Little brother, I hope you know this means Dani will be our first babysitter when the two are a little older."

As Jazz extended Sam's time alone, the Goth did some breathing exercises and washed her hands in warm water. Out of curiosity she had peaked inside the medicine cabinet but wasn't surprised when she found nothing of interest. Jazz was a big believer in the power of medication and was passionate about her view that it should only be used as a last resort. That means anything the couple would have would need to be prescribed by a doctor and both were quite healthy adults.

Sam rejoined the group feeling a little more put together, but she could tell the breathing skill wasn't as successful and knew that she needed to try another when they made their way home in a little while. Until then she did her best to engage with the kids and distract herself from Danny's puppy dog eyes. The flight home was quiet and Dani could tell that her mother was distracted, but she didn't think much of it after being asked if she would like to paint together before dinner. Dani did and she enjoyed herself, even if she didn't quite enjoy abstract as much.

Sam enjoyed abstract art because she didn't have to think when she did it, but unlike most nights Sam wasn't able to turn her mind off to a dull lull. Instead her mind sucked her inside as she wondered what she might feel if Danny had proposed to her in the park. What might she feel if she were ever proposed to? What might she not feel? Was Danny even thinking about marriage with her? Would she want to marry Danny? Would she want to marry him to feel secure in their relationship?

Danny made dinner and the halfas kept the conversation light. Sam remained quiet and kept a mug of tea between her hands to stop them from wringing. She tried to do some breathing again at the table but it wasn't working and her head was swimming now. "I was thinking tonight you could read, Dani. It's been awhile since I let you," Sam offered as her daughter scooted over for their bedtime story later that night.

Dani accepted the book and read the chapter only asking for help up a few times. Sam helped her with a few words but otherwise she felt rather detached from the plot, trying to calm herself down with the hum of her daughter's voice. Danny had decided not to join them which Sam was thankful for. She was hoping some time alone with Dani would be enough, but still her vision began to darken along her peripherals and still she felt detached, even after wishing Dani a goodnight. She let Danny know his daughter was ready for him to say goodnight and she made her way into their bathroom in a blur.

This was a panic attack, she knew, but she couldn't for the life of her knock herself out of it. She swayed, her hearing leaving her as she began to shake her hands. But they weren't shaking, per say. Rather she was doing the actions of shaking her pill bottle. O what she would do for just one pill. To hear the percussion of the pills landing on top of one another, against the sides of the plastic. What she wouldn't do for a moment of clarity. Sam began to pace.

Danny had gotten rid of all her pills, she knew, but suddenly she couldn't stop herself from just double checking. Just opening and closing the drawers, over and over. Nothing was beneath the sink. Nothing was in the towel closet. Sam was so lost in the need that she didn't even hear Danny call out to her. She didn't hear Danny walk up to her. No Sam was lost in her world but Danny was going to do his best to bring her back. "Sammy? Sammy can you hear me?"

It took a minute for Sam to notice that she wasn't pacing anymore. She closed her eyes, opening them slowly to see Danny staring down at her in sorrow. "I was just looking," Sam explained, hushed.

"Looking for what Sammy?"

Sam wrung her hands again. She licked her lips before she answered, "I don't know. I was just looking. A pill I guess. I can't-I can't pull myself out. Anxious." She couldn't do more than whisper as she was overcome by the emotions Danny brought with him. She could literally feel his resolve to help her; to love her. "I was just looking."

Danny took a moment to rub her arms with his warmed hands. He knows she likes the cold but he didn't want to shock Sam, necessarily. The slight glow of his hands brought Sam's focus downward, and she was looking at his hands, at his bare hands. At his bare fingers. They almost looked out of place without a ring. A ring would look so natural on Danny. "What are you feeling anxious about?" Danny asked.

Sam wanted to tell him she was anxious about what they saw at the park. She wanted to tell him that she wasn't just anxious but she was jealous too. She wanted to share with him that she had come to realize she wouldn't be able to go on without him, that she only wanted to be with him for the rest of her life. She wanted to tell him this and so much else, but she couldn't find the words so she let herself turn into his hold and cry. She cried softly against his chest and it felt good. As strange as it was she felt the tears wash away her fears. After a few cleansing minutes Sam found that this time when she opened her mouth to speak the words just tumbled out.

"Danny I love you. I love you so much it hurts. It hurts to think that there might come a day without you again and I never want that day to come. It hurts to think about all those nights alone, missing you. I want nothing more than to be with you and with Danielle and with any other children we might have one day. Because I want any children of mine to be yours because I can't imagine ever finding someone as courageous and wonderful and heroic and special as you are to me. I love you. I love only you. I want to be with you for the rest of my life and I know that now and it makes me feel so good and so nervous because it took so long for us to finally be together. I love you Danny Fenton."

Danny continued to stroke Sam's raven locks, lost in the feeling of amazement. It was electrifying, but not in the dangerous to-become-a-halfa electric. No this was so much more incredible. And wait-did Sam just say…? Did she really...? Did…?

Danny drew back with the world's biggest smile, drawing forward again only to kiss her forehead. "Sam...I'll be right back." He left a very confused Sam standing in the middle of their bathroom as he practically flew to the front hall closet and grabbed the item from a suit jacket he had long ago decided would be the safest place to keep this hidden. He returned to find Sam wiping away her tears and looking a little pissed that he had just left her there after she poured out her heart and soul. Surprisingly, she didn't feel anxious anymore. She was much too taken aback for the relief of finally telling Danny exactly how she felt about him after holding it in all these years.

She did feel something flutter in her stomach as Danny returned only to drop down to one knee in front of her with a very familiar red box in his hand. She had seen that once before. "Sam, I've been waiting for you to love me the way I love you. And I want you to know that I picked this out with only love in mind, which is why it always belonged to you and no other."

With his left hand he opened the ring box held up in his right hand to show the woman he had loved since childhood the ring that could only ever be meant for her and asked, "Please Sammy, will you marry me?"