Hiei lay awake in his bed, head pillowed atop his arms as he stared up at the dark ceiling aimlessly. It was another restless night; he could tell that sleep wouldn't come easily.
Returning to Mukuro's fortress after the tournament should have been a smooth transition. He had everything he needed here. A cutthroat and merciless leader whose ideals aligned with his own. A decent post with soldiers to command. A purpose and duty that suited him just fine.
But he would be lying if he said that thoughts of the people and places he'd left behind didn't creep up on him like a shadow from time to time. His mind lingered on blue-hair, bright eyes and a warm smile wrapped around the words of an invitation.
He frowned. Both the human and spirit worlds were comparable to a rotting cancer. They were filled with all sorts of soft ideals and notions. Too many emotions plagued their citizens. And weaknesses seemed to be celebrated and coddled at every turn.
He even found himself succumbing to such softness on more than one occasion.
Returning to his roots was the best thing that could have ever happened for a soul like his. This was where he belonged. This was where he thrived.
And so, he stayed away. From Yukina. From the rest of the team. From everyone.
But then the ferry-girl came around, dredging up the past and making him remember everything. He found himself thinking about the motley crew he couldn't seem to forget and wondering about how much changed since he last deigned to be in their presence.
Returning to the fortress should have been a relief, but the silence he once found solace in was starting to feel more like a noose around his neck than a comfort.
He shot up before he had the chance to regret his decision, making his way out of the fortress and into the first portal to the Spirit World he could find. The familiar winding road sprawled out before him, and he could spot the temple looming in the distance like a beacon. It wasn't hard to locate Botan among the maze of halls and rooms; the woman's energy signal was as familiar to him as his own after all the time he'd spent with her at the tournament. He leapt up to her balcony, unsurprised to find the doors unlocked. Entering was pitifully simple. The Spirit World was always far too lax.
Botan sat at her vanity, back turned to him as she brushed her hair. She didn't even notice his approach, too busy humming to herself.
"Woman."
She turned around with an ear-splitting shriek, her brush clattering to the floor. Hiei winced in response.
"Oh, Hiei!" she breathed out, a hand over her chest. "You scared me!"
"Yes, I could tell."
"W-what are you doing here?"
He wanted to see the ferry-girl. It was as simple as that.
"You were the one who said not to make myself scarce again."
"That's true. But I certainly didn't expect a night visit," she said. Concern lined her features as she tucked a strand of hair behind her ear. "Is everything okay?"
"I'm fine."
And it was the honest truth. He was fine now that he was in her calming presence once more. All signs of restlessness vanished the moment he was surrounded by her floral scent and familiar aura. It was almost as if the ferry-girl was like a balm, suffusing through the rough layers of his guard and soothing the very core of him. It was an admittedly peculiar thing to think, so he tore his gaze away from her doe eyes and glanced around at her room instead. It was a lot less gaudish than he thought it would be, but just as lived-in and colorful.
"Well, regardless of the late hour and the sneaking in, I really am glad to see you again," she stated.
Botan usually said what she meant; he should've been used to her blatant honesty by now, but he found himself struggling to respond when faced with her shining smile. He was beginning to rethink his impulsive decision to come here at all, when she spoke again.
"Do you want some tea? We have a really nice selection in the break room."
Hiei crossed his arms over his chest. "I doubt your fellow denizens will appreciate the sight of a demon roaming the halls."
"In that case, I'll fix us something warm and soothing and bring it back up here," she decided. "Sound good to you?"
"If you insist." He knew he relented far too easily, but he lacked the energy to care.
"Great! You just make yourself comfortable and I'll be back in a jiffy!"
Hiei had never found himself particularly comfortable in the Spirit World, but for the next few hours, he was at ease. Botan did most of the heavy lifting in the conversation as they drained through their cups of tea. She was perfectly content to run through all manner of topics, while he listened and commented where he saw fit. Time didn't exist when he was surrounded by the woman's sanguine disposition. And before he knew it, the first pale beams of sunlight shone through the windows, catching both of their attentions.
"It's morning already," Botan realized, blinking at the soft rays of light. "I can't believe we stayed up all night."
He couldn't either. He didn't mean to linger for so long. There was just something about the ferry-girl that made him want to stay.
Botan walked him to the balcony. Once again, she moved as if she wanted to embrace him, before hesitating. "U-um, well, I-"
Hiei took the initiative, pulling the ferry-girl's body against his own. He didn't know the first thing about a proper hug, but he knew well enough not to crush the woman, so he tempered his strength just enough to keep her in his hold. The ferry-girl was stiff in his arms and he could feel the tension wracking her slighter frame. She was nervous, but she made no move to push him away.
"You wanted to do this before, at the end of the tournament," he said.
Botan nodded mutely, voice catching in her throat. "I wasn't sure how you'd react…"
He supposed that was fair. He wasn't the touchy-feely type by any means; sentimental gestures and friendly touches were beyond him.
But this…
… this wasn't the worst.
Botan finally relaxed in his hold, bringing her arms up to wrap around him experimentally. It was odd - being this close to another without violence or bloodshed on his mind. He allowed himself to linger in the foreign exchange for a few more moments, breathing in her scent and memorizing the feeling of her body pressed against his. This close, he could feel the rise and fall of her chest against his with each breath. He could hear their heartbeats creating a rhythm all their own. He could count the seconds as everything else fell away and his world was reduced to nothing but this.
Botan pulled away first, the blush on her cheeks undermining her teasing tone. "I never thought you'd be the one to initiate a hug, Hiei."
He crossed his arms over his chest, angling his face towards the horizon to avoid the weight of her playful expression. "Watching you flounder gave me second-hand embarrassment."
"Well, excuse me for trying to respect your boundaries..."
"That isn't necessary." Hiei met her gaze again without any conflict clouding his eyes. "I'm not so weak that I can't endure a simple hug."
Botan brightened much like the rising sun, swathes of golden daylight washing her smile in a bright and open light. "Alright, mister macho man. I'll be sure to keep that in mind for next time."
Hiei nodded.
Next time didn't sound like such a bad thing.
Botan straightened her posture before knocking on the dark oak door three times. Her heart fluttered in her chest, nerves racing with anticipation and excitement as she waited with bated breath.
It wasn't long before the door swung open to reveal onyx hair, red eyes and a familiar figure. Shock flashed briefly over Hiei's expression before he covered it with one of his unreadable looks.
"Surprise?" she grinned.
"What are you doing here?" he asked. Behind the door, she could see the inside of his room. It was every bit as bare and sparse as she'd imagined it to be. Utilitarian and unfurnished, empty and clean. "Don't tell me you came on your own."
"Give me some credit, Hiei. I'm not that senseless!"
He shot her an unconvinced look.
"Lord Koenma had business with Lady Mukuro, so I asked if I could tagalong," she explained. "And luckily, one of the soldiers was kind enough to tell me where I could find you."
Hiei folded his arms over his chest as he examined her. "It was unsafe to wander around on your own."
"I'm fully capable of taking care of myself, you know."
"In the Spirit World, perhaps. But danger lurks around every corner of this fortress," he said with a hint of pride in his tone. "You shouldn't be so blithe here."
He was worried about her, she realized. It was evident in the furrow of his brow and the tick in his jaw. The knowledge that he cared about her made her heart bloom and blossom with more warmth than it should have. She pushed it aside in lieu of fixing him with a light grin. "Well, I'm with you now, so all's well that ends well, right?"
Hiei's eyes widened almost imperceptibly, but he nodded his head in agreement nonetheless.
"Now," she began, clapping her hands together as she peered around curiously. "Do you think you could show me around? I've been to Yomi and Raizen's strongholds, but I've never had the chance to see Lady Mukuro's."
"That's because it isn't a tourist attraction," he said, stepping out into the hallway and closing his room door behind him. "But if you insist, then follow me."
Botan brightened, trailing after him as they passed through all manner of dark, gory and grotesque corridors. Yusuke told her all about the rather unique design of the fortress, but it was one thing to hear about it and another to see it with her own two eyes. She shrunk back as they passed through a particularly morbid hall lined with all manner of entrails and limbs. A shiver ran up her spine and pulled her face into a grimace.
"What's the matter, ferry-girl," Hiei taunted, voice reverberating in the narrow hall. "Not up to your aesthetic standards?"
"It's certainly different," she replied weakly, sidling closer to Hiei as one of the eyes embedded in the wall tracked her movements.
He let out a low sound of amusement, too harsh to be a chuckle but too soft to truly be derisive.
"It isn't funny, Hiei!" she said, latching onto his arm.
"Agree to disagree."
"Why are you taking us through the creepiest path, anyway?" she complained.
"Because it houses less people, and the less attention you draw, the better."
"Hey-"
"It isn't meant to be an insult," he cut in. "Majority opinion on the Spirit World remains largely negative. Most won't take kindly to a ferry-girl in their space."
"Oh."
Botan's lips pressed together in a thin line. It was foolish of her to come without considering the consequences of her actions. Things were far from stable between the three worlds and the last thing she wanted to do was stir up trouble for the fire-demon.
Hiei must have sensed her discomfort because he slated a questioning glance her way. "What's with that look?"
"I didn't think about the political ramifications of the two of us being seen together…"
"It's fine."
"Are you sure? I wouldn't want to inconvenience you or anything."
"You have a bad habit of putting words in my mouth, woman," he stated, his tone lacking any true vitriol.
"I wouldn't have to speculate if you just opened up your mouth and told me what was on your mind!"
"Do you care that we might be seen together?" he asked.
Botan was a little caught off guard at his deflection, but the answer was already halfway out of her mouth before she could think twice. "Of course not!"
"Then you should know that I care even less," he replied. "I make my own decisions, including who I choose to spend my time with."
Botan's pulse stuttered as a rush of pleasant satisfaction ran through her entire being. Hiei's declaration wasn't a particularly emotive one, but it still managed to make her feel as though she was soaring high above the clouds. Her steps were weightless and light as a slow smile spread over her features. If Hiei noticed the change in her disposition, he refrained from commenting on it.
"So… where are we headed?" she asked, if only to refocus on the task at hand and ignore the fluttering of her heart.
"There isn't much that would interest you within the fortress walls," he began. "But there is one place that will undoubtedly suit your tastes."
He pushed a large door open to reveal the gardens. Botan released his arm to walk further onto the path, mesmerized by the sight of lush green grass and flowers of every color.
"Mukuro doesn't much care for beauty and grandeur, but the staff was adamant about maintaining the grounds," he explained.
"I can see why," she marveled. "It's breathtaking."
He grunted noncommittally, pushing his hands into his pockets as he led her further into its depths. They ended up seated on a bench with little space between them. The faint sounds of marching echoed in the distance. Overhead there wasn't a cloud in the sky, no rumbling thunder or flash of lightning in sight. It was peaceful. Calm.
"Do you come here often?" Botan asked curiously.
"No. I spend most of my time in the training hall."
"I should have figured as much," she noted fondly, leaning back and letting out a comfortable sigh.
It felt natural, sitting beside Hiei under the bright red sky and basking in the warmth of the afternoon sun. For a while, they simply existed in the tranquil silence. Content not to do or say much. And while Botan enjoyed the change in pace, she realized that she ought to do what she originally set out to do. She wasn't sure how much longer Koenma would take with Mukuro and she really couldn't afford to wait much longer.
"A few of us are meeting up for lunch at Yusuke's cart tomorrow," she mentioned casually. "You should stop by, if you can…"
Hiei's jaw tightened as he glanced over at her. "You know I don't care for such things."
"I know," she appeased. "The choice is there, so it's up to you to show or not. No pressure."
"You say that, but I can tell that you're expecting me to."
"I wish that you would," she corrected pointedly. "But… I understand if you decide not to. Or if you're just not ready yet."
"Don't coddle me, woman. If there's something you want to say then say it," he challenged.
Botan frowned. "Is that really what you want?"
"I wouldn't have asked otherwise."
She took a deep breath, fingertips grazing the hiruiseki stones beneath her kimono. "I've been trying to understand your stance on your relationship with Yukina, but I just can't wrap my mind around it. I've seen you grow and change. I've seen you care for others in your own way. And I know that you think you're doing what's best for Yukina, but from where I'm standing, it only looks like you're doing what's best for yourself."
Hiei's expression darkened, but she wasn't finished.
"You've built up so many walls for the sake of protecting yourself, but that will only harden your heart in the end," she stated. "You're stronger than you give yourself credit for. You don't have to be limited to the chains of the past. You can be there for Yukina in the ways she needs you to. I'm certain of it. And I'm hoping that one day, you'll realize it, too."
Hiei's expression had smoothened out from its frown over the course of his speech, features blank and devoid of any emotion at all. She couldn't read his stare or the line of his mouth any more than she could decipher what his silence meant.
"Hiei-"
Her communication mirror beeped, cutting off whatever words she attempted to scrape up. Glancing down, she viewed Koenma through the small, circular device.
"Sir?"
"We're ready to go." Koenma's voice was tinny as it filtered through the speaker. "I'll be waiting out front."
Masking her disappointment with a nod, she answered dutifully, "Alright, I'll be there in a jiffy."
She stood to her feet, smoothening the wrinkles in her kimono and casting a glance at Hiei. "I suppose that's my cue."
Hiei rose without a word, escorting her towards the main entrance mechanically. Botan bit her bottom lip as she slid her gaze back towards the fire-demon.
"I really didn't mean to overstep my bounds-"
Hiei met her gaze, sharp eyes pinning her with a look that was far from disparaging. "That's all you ever do, Botan."
She blinked slowly, rendered speechless by his tone of voice and the unfamiliar emotion coloring his eyes. Before she could even hope to respond, they had reached the front gate.
"Ready to go?" Koenma asked, flanked by two members of the SDF.
Botan noded mutely, casting one last look at Hiei's back before carrying on.
The following day, Hiei found himself seated between Botan and Yukina underneath the awning of Yusuke's cart. It was a cloudy day, but the autumn leaves brightened the area in splashes of red, orange and yellow. Steam rose up from the piping hot bowls of food Yusuke placed before them, mixing with the cool fall air. Botan was stationed at his left, bundled up in a two-toned pink sweater. Yukina sat at his right, wearing something of the same fashion, although her reasoning was borne out of aesthetic rather than actual necessity.
"It's a shame the others couldn't make it," Botan said conversationally.
"Yeah," Yusuke returned, back turned to them as he stirred the contents of a pot slowly. "It's getting harder and harder to round up the good old team nowadays."
Yukina hummed in agreement, a reflective look on her face. "It is a lot quieter without the others, but this is nice, too."
"That's true!" Botan agreed, clinking her bottle of soda against Yukina's with a grin.
Hiei remained silent.
It was an odd trio. While Botan and Yusuke had always been unusually close, he was almost certain Yukina and Yusuke never exchanged more than a handful of words before. And yet, the longer he observed them, the more he realized just how wrong he was. They interacted with a familiarity he wasn't used to. It was…
Well, the fire-demon didn't know how to classify the strange feeling budding in his chest. All he knew was that he must have missed a lot over these past few years.
Truth be told, he wouldn't have bothered showing up if it wasn't for Botan. The words she'd said to him at Mukuro's fortress struck a resounding chord within. Nobody, not even Kurama or Mukuro, ever commented on his relationship with Yukina with such brutal honesty or clear insight. And yet, a powerless ferry-girl who always kept her head in the clouds said the words to him he wasn't ready to hear, much less face.
He admittedly came a long way from the short-sighted, blood-thirsty and rage-filled man he used to be. He'd learned and grown and adjusted over the years, and he was cognizant enough to admit that he stayed away from Yukina because it would be easier. For her. For him. For all involved. It was a selfish decision. He knew that much. And after the ferry-girl's parting words had settled in, he realized that he owed it to himself and to Yukina to at least attempt to know her outside the glimpses he'd gotten through his jagan.
All in all, the little luncheon wasn't as terrible as he thought it would be. Yusuke wasn't nearly as insufferable without Kuwabara to bounce off of and the food was a definite bonus.
While the ex-detective and ferry-girl were preoccupied in a heated discussion over a trivial human world television show, Yukina's eyes caught his. It was the first time she regarded him alone over the course of the afternoon.
"I didn't expect to see you today, Hiei," she said gently.
"I didn't expect to show up, either."
Yukina smiled knowingly, features lifting with the soft curve of her lips. "I assume we have Botan to thank for that."
Crimson eyes moved towards the woman in question. "She's far too meddlesome."
"It seems like a lot has changed since we last saw each other."
Hiei nodded, taking a sip of his drink before regarding Yukina once more. "The ferry-girl told me you moved in with the Kuwabaras."
"It was a bit of a transition," she answered through a fond, reflective expression, "but I'm enjoying the change in scenery. Kazuma and Shizuru have both been so welcoming and kind."
Hiei's mouth tightened on reflex and Yukina noticed it immediately. She smiled a little sheepishly.
"I suppose you'd think it's strange for a demon to assimilate to the human world like this…"
He paused before answering, taking a moment to really look at his sister. She was relaxed, comfortable in her own skin and emotions. He couldn't fault her for choosing to live in a world he couldn't quite understand. She was stronger than him in that sense; opening herself up to the unknown. Embracing it. As much as he loathed to admit it, her time here was good for her. She had grown into her own while he was too busy ignoring that she existed.
"No," he replied finally. "You can do whatever you please. I imagine that's the reason you left that oppressive glacial village in the first place."
"I left to find my family," she admitted. "But over time, I've realized that family isn't just limited to blood."
"So, you've given up your search for your phantom brother," he concluded.
Yukina shook her head. "I still believe we'll find each other one day, just as I'll always hold onto the hope that we can be in each other's lives. I refuse to abandon him like our people did."
Hiei swallowed thickly as her words sliced through his chest. Aside from the night he left for Makai, he and Yukina had never really spoken about her quest for her brother. He should have told her to abandon such fruitless hopes. He should have discouraged her. But he couldn't ignore that burning in his chest: a mixture of pride, respect and something he could quite determine as she promised to stand by him, even as indirect as it was. He couldn't bring himself to turn away; not when there was such a fierce resolve shining through her ruby eyes.
"I see," he replied tightly.
Silence settled around them for a while. He listened to the faint sounds the wind created and the sounds of footsteps as people passed by.
"Will you tell me what Mukuro's fortress is like?" she asked, picking up the conversation once more.
"I didn't realize you held an interest in demon world affairs."
"There's a lot we don't know about each other," she said pointedly. "But it doesn't have to remain that way."
He didn't remember her being so direct, but he supposed he didn't have a solid point of reference to begin with. He never took the time to know his own twin; he never bothered to look past the shallow surface. So, he answered her questions and asked a few of his own in turn.
The conversation was easier than he ever thought it would be. Yukina didn't pry or push, and she listened as much as she spoke. He found himself leaving with more facts about the ice-maiden than he ever thought he would collect. It wasn't necessarily a bad thing, even if an uncomfortable weight rested in his chest as they bid each other farewell.
"Botan," he said, catching the ferry-girl's attention before she could leave.
"Yes?"
He thought he had found his purpose and calling in Makai. He thought he was suited for the life of a soldier with little to no ties to the past. But as he stood in the world he claimed to hate, in the company of the people who shaped him more than he was willing to admit, he could see the truth now. He shut himself off from these bonds because it was easier to guard his heart than let it be suffused by the exclusive brand of humanity and light that the others represented.
He realized now that his past actions were spineless and weak, a blatant betrayal of the code of honor he held himself to. In the end, his selfish decisions amounted to nothing more than a fool's cowardice.
He refused to succumb to it a second time.
"You were right to say what you did before," he finally spoke.
Botan tilted her head in confusion, blue brows crinkled slightly.
"About me… being selfish," he clarified lowly.
Surprise washed over her features as she quickly backpedaled. "That's not what I was getting at-"
"I chose to turn away; I took the easy way out. There's no excuse for that."
"We all make mistakes, but the important thing is that you're here now," she said meaningfully. "That makes all the difference."
He raised a brow at the ferry-girl. She was outlined in the last rays of the setting sun, beaming at him as though he deserved a single ounce of her understanding and time and care. Something calm and content settled in his chest cavity, filling the emptiness with a warmth he couldn't ignore. "You really believe it's that simple."
"I really, really do."
And when she smiled at him like that, he couldn't help but believe in those idealistic notions too.
Botan was thrilled to see Hiei joining them more and more in the coming weeks. He assimilated back into the group easily, filling the fire-demon shaped vacancy he left behind years ago. He begrudgingly tolerated Yusuke's good-natured taunting and teasing. He slung brand new insults at Kuwabara and glared at him every time he was within Yukina's general vicinity. And he continued to respect and gravitate towards Kurama, despite judging the latter's insistence on keeping up his human ruse.
Although the boys managed to slide back into their tried and true routine, there were a few noticeable changes with the way Hiei interacted with the remainder of the group. For starters, he actually began acknowledging Shizuru and Keiko when they were around. Even if it was nothing more than a grunt, or a brief tilt of his head, or a millisecond of eye-contact, both women seemed to appreciate it.
Secondly, the fire-demon often lingered around her, not once brushing her off or pushing her away when she approached him first. He remained tolerant of her company, even when the others were around to witness it. It was just as he said back at the fortress: he really didn't care what anyone else thought. Even as the others side-eyed them and whispered conspiratorially about their sudden and unexpected camaraderie, he remained as stoic and unaffected as ever.
But, most importantly of all, was the newly found effort he put into spending time with Yukina.
Botan watched the siblings in the distance with a fond curve of her lips. They were standing in front of one of the many festival stalls, nearly swallowed up by the sea of yukatas and street food and sweets. It took a little convincing to get Hiei to come, of course, but he appeared like clockwork once the entire gang convened at the agreed upon takoyaki cart. Pride and affection welled up within the ferry-girl as she observed the fire-demon and ice-maiden. Hiei appeared to be calm and settled in the presence of his sister. There wasn't a single line of tension in his expression or in his posture. He had come so far in such a short amount of time and she couldn't be happier for him.
"You're smitten."
The bluette was jolted out of her thoughts when Shizuru came into view. The taller woman wore a simple peach and white kimono at Botan's behest. Her hair was tied into a low side ponytail, a few wisps of loose chestnut locks framing her face softly. She was fixing Botan with a knowing look, hazel eyes glittering with a hint of a smile.
"I'm what?"
"You know," Shizuru replied with an easy wave of her hand. "Head over heels, completely sprung, enamored?"
"That's-that's preposterous!" Botan stammered over the loud thudding of her heart against her ribcage.
"Is it?" Shizuru lifted a perceptive brow. "Because from where I'm standing it's as clear as day."
The ferry-girl's face fell. She had done her very best to ignore the budding feelings that took root in the threads of her soul. She hid every blush, curbed the tendrils of affection from softening her gaze, tempered the fluttering of her heart and squashed every little daydream before it could take form. She thought if she pretended her attraction didn't exist, it would never manifest into any real problems. But if Shizuru could see the truth that was sequestered away in the chambers of her heart, then it was only a matter of time before the others did, too.
And if Hiei ever found out…
"Hey," Shizuru said softly. "Earth to grim reaper. Everything okay?"
Botan bit back a frown. "Am I really that obvious?"
"Just to anyone with working eyes and a brain," Shizuru replied coolly. "Which means the boys haven't figured you out yet."
Botan couldn't help the relieved laugh that punched out of her lungs. It was a small consolation that no one else had caught on yet. She didn't know how Hiei might react to the news, but she had a feeling it would be far from positive. In fact, she was almost certain her little secret would ruin things irreparably. It was only by some strange miracle that they managed to make it this far in the first place; she didn't want to go back to the way things were before.
"You shouldn't think so hard, ferry-girl, you might rupture something."
Botan snapped out of her thoughts to see Hiei standing before her. Try as she might, she couldn't prevent the smile that was burgeoning over her expression any more than she could abate the silly fluttering of her heart. "Must you always be so mean to me, Hiei? A little kindness goes a long way, you know…"
"Kindness isn't one of my strong suits."
"It wouldn't kill you to try."
"It just might."
"Well," Shizuru interrupted, covering her smirk with a paper fan. "I think I'll take my leave now. Wouldn't want to interrupt… whatever strange mating ritual this is."
"Shizuru!"
But she was already walking towards Kurama, no doubt still wearing that sly expression on her face. Hiei frowned at the retreating psychic, brows furrowed and mouth slanted down in confusion.
"Don't mind her," Botan urged, tone sheepish as she waved a dismissive hand. "You know how Shizuru is…"
Hiei eyed Botan for a few terse moments, before mercifully choosing to let it go. He took a determined step forward and pushed an item out between them. The ferry-girl blinked down at the adorable stuffed panda gripped tightly in Hiei's hand.
"The oaf challenged me to a pathetically simple and thoughtless contest," Hiei explained. "But I have no use for such a victory prize."
"Are you sure you want to give it away? It's very cute," she noted, reaching out to boop the panda's black nose. "And it would certainly add some character to your place at Mukuro's."
"Very funny, ferry-girl," he commented dryly. "I have no qualms with incinerating it if you don't want it."
"I never said that!" Botan exclaimed, rescuing the stuffed animal from his grasp and patting its fake fur placatingly. She lowered her voice into a mock-whisper, fully well knowing that Hiei could still hear her. "Don't you worry, Hi-chan, I won't let your mean spirited eponym burn you to a crisp."
"Hi-chan?" Hiei snarled, eyes narrowed into thin slits.
Amethyst met crimson as she glanced back up at the fire-demon innocently. "Well, I was going to go with Hiei-Junior, but Hi-chan sounds much cuter, don't you think?"
"I think you're deranged and demented."
"And I think you need to loosen up!" she countered, looping her arm through his and leading him towards the row of stalls up ahead. "Let's see what else the festival has in store for us."
"I'm not sure I want to be subjected to any more of your twisted whims and fancies, woman."
"Oh, don't be such a wet blanket!"
Despite the grumbling protests still falling from his lips, Hiei allowed her to guide him towards their next destination.
"Want another?" Botan asked, pushing the plate of rice balls closer to the fire-demon.
They sat on the roof of a nondescript building within the human world. Hiei didn't bother learning which one it was, but he did appreciate the quiet and emptiness the secluded area afforded.
"There's no need to be shy," she pressed. She sat with her legs folded beneath herself and hands in her lap. There was little to no space between them, as it often was nowadays. "I made these for you, after all…"
He grabbed another. "You shouldn't have."
"I wanted to," she said earnestly, smiling when she saw him take a bite. "So, how was your day? What did you do?"
"...I saw Yukina earlier."
Botan's wide eyes filled with a mixture of surprise and excitement. "You did?"
"I've been seeing her," he revealed. "On my own."
"Oh, Hiei, that's wonderful," she cheered, clasping her hands together. "I had no idea."
"That's because I didn't plan on advertising it. And unlike you, Yukina knows how to keep a secret."
An offended look crossed her features. "You're awful, you know that?"
"..."
"The absolute worst!"
"..."
"Here I am, so happy for you, and all you can do is insult me!"
"Don't pretend you don't like it, woman."
"What is that supposed to mean?"
"You're pitifully easy to read. The look on your face isn't one of anger."
She folded her arms over her chest and turned her nose up in the air. "Well, it's not my fault I'm such an agreeable and pleasant person…"
He snorted at that, grabbing another salmon stuffed rice ball and making short work of it, if only to appease the ferry-girl. Yukina already filled him up with more food than necessary, but he knew Botan would turn pouty if he didn't finish the meal she'd worked hard on. Eyes fixed out into the vast distance, he contemplated how quickly things changed. He had gone from complete and total isolation to bi-weekly meet-ups with the others, frequent lunches with Yukina and whatever this was between himself and the woman.
The two of them seemed to exist in a liminal space; a vacuum of unknowns. Despite the ambiguity, it wasn't unnerving to him at all. He was comfortable around the woman and didn't feel the need to turn away from the private moments they shared. He still didn't know what it was she saw in him. He couldn't fathom what drew a soul as bright as hers to one as damaged and dark as his, but so long as it kept her around, he didn't need to dwell on it.
A cool breeze passed by, drawing his attention back to the golden moon hanging in the opaque sky. He could feel Botan's eyes on him, so he turned to meet her gaze. He often caught her glancing at him, the look in her eyes distant and muddled with emotions he couldn't decipher. Perhaps now was the time to get some answers.
"See something of interest, woman?"
"Maybe," she said airily.
"My face can't be that interesting."
"There's no need to be so self-deprecative. You're actually quite handsome, you know."
"I don't know about that."
"I mean it! Your features are conventionally attractive," she maintained, leaning in closer to examine him. "You've got a strong jawline. Striking eyes. A straight nose. And your mouth-"
He raised a brow as she trailed off. Her amethyst eyes were fixed on him, a light dusting of color over the apple of her cheeks and lips parted slightly.
"Go on, woman," he urged.
Hiei didn't know when the distance between them disappeared, but Botan never seemed to mind their proximity. It never even crossed her mind that he was a killer whose hands had committed many crimes and were stained with the blood of so many souls. She continued to stare at him intently, features softened in the faint glow of the moonlight. That look in her eyes was beckoning him to do something impetuous and reckless. He was going to ruin everything and he couldn't even be bothered to care. It seemed the only things he was good at was pulling away, or pushing forward and burning everything in an inferno. But he was too close to her to think rationally. He was just a man, and the woman's spell on him was unbreakable.
Surprisingly, Botan was the first to make a move. Warm lips brushed tentatively against his own, soft and gentle and far more careful than he deserved. Suddenly, everything began to make sense. Those private looks and soft smiles. The diminishing distance between them, coupled with the gentle, familiar brushes of contact. The way she sought him out. The extent at which she cared, pushing far beyond the measure of common decency.
Hiei didn't even have the chance to respond because she was already pulling away, eyes wide and lashes fluttering as she blinked in surprise. She opened her mouth wordlessly, before snapping it shut.
"Botan," he began, unsure of what he was going to say.
"I'm so sorry," she blurted out as she collected the empty serving plate and avoided his gaze. "I don't know what I was…" She broke off with a shake of her head and a troubled look in her eyes. "I really should get going. It's late."
His fingers itched to reach out and stop her, but he remained rooted to where he stood with his hands clenched into fists at his sides. He watched numbly as the ferry-girl materialized her oar and shot upwards past the clouds.
Hiei remained up on the roof long after she left, the phantom touch of her lips still lingering on his as he reconsidered everything he thought he knew.
Botan lingered at the edge of the forest, not yet willing to take the final few steps leading to the shore. The others were already gathered on the sand, their voices ringing clearly in the cool, crisp air. It was a clear and bright day, the complete opposite of the storm raging in her chest.
Hiei hadn't arrived yet. Whether that was a blessing or a curse, she couldn't yet say. He was surely going to kill her when he found her and, at this point, she was ready to be put out of her misery. Whatever tentative relations they'd built were effectively shattered by her silly, impulsive, yearning heart.
If she could reverse time and undo the damage she'd afflicted, she would. In an instant. But life didn't work that way. And eventually, she would have to face the music.
"Botan."
She nearly jumped as she turned around to view Hiei. He had his arms folded loosely over his chest, posture just the slightest bit shy of relaxed as he leaned against a tree. Underneath the dappled sunlight, it was hard to read his sharp gaze.
"Fancy meeting you here, Hiei," she greeted, trying to hide the nervous undertone in her voice under a cheerful air.
"Yes," he said, kicking off of the tree to stalk towards her. "Considering you've been avoiding me."
Botan avoided his gaze, guilt flooding through her conscience and overpowering her emotions. "I was just busy, is all…"
Hiei didn't look convinced, but he remained quiet nonetheless. The air was heavy and tense between them. She didn't like it one bit. Pushing aside her nerves, she fixed the fire-demon with an apologetic look.
"I'm sorry," she began. "I shouldn't have kissed you out of the blue like that."
Hiei was silent for a few, tense moments. Botan's heart thudded painfully in her chest as she awaited his response. The fire-demon had every right to be upset over both the kiss and her willful avoidance. She just hoped that she didn't destroy the trust and friendship that they managed to scrabble together over the course of the last few weeks. She waited for him patiently, head bowed as she played with her fingers nervously. And just when she was beginning to suspect that he might not say anything at all, he surprised her.
"Was it just a whim?" he asked.
"What?" She lifted her gaze to view him in confusion, before shaking her head firmly. "No, of course not."
"You meant to do it."
"Yes, but I-"
"-Then you don't need to apologize."
Botan closed her mouth, at a loss for words. While she was happy that Hiei was in a relatively agreeable mood, she didn't know where that left them. She had no idea how he felt about the kiss, aside from him not being angry over it. She could only stare back at him in uncertainty, unsure of where to go from there.
Hiei glanced away, staring off into the distance as he continued.
"There's something I should have done a long time ago," he stated. "And I'll need Yukina's stone to do it."
Botan quickly forgot about their dilemma as the realization swept over her features. "You mean… you're going to…"
"I'm considering it."
"That's wonderful!" She removed the necklace and passed it over to him with a smile.
She watched as he reclaimed Yukina's stone and pocketed it. Then, he passed the necklace and his stone back to her, their fingers brushing together lightly. "I only need the one."
"...I don't understand."
"I want you to hold onto my stone."
Botan's eyes widened in surprise.
"I'm willingly giving it to you this time, with no ulterior motives," he revealed plainly. "You understand what this means, don't you?"
Botan stared back at Hiei with wide, unbelieving eyes. Her head was spinning with the amount of information she was receiving today and she almost pinched herself to ensure it wasn't a dream concocted by her sweetest fantasies. She could hardly believe that Hiei was willing to trust her with so very much.
"Are you certain?" she asked.
He held her gaze evenly, nothing but surety and confidence in his red eyes. "I know what I want, Botan. The question is, do you?"
Botan nodded, fingers moving to re-clasp the necklace around her neck once more. Warmth, affection and joy overflowed in her chest as she felt its weight rest against her heart once more. "I do."
"Good," he said, taking a purposeful step closer.
"Good," she echoed, following the fire-demon's lead. Even with his hands settled on her waist, she could hardly believe this was happening. She could hardly believe that she managed to breach that stone heart of his.
Hiei paused halfway to her lips with a searching look in his eyes and a challenging tilt of his brow. "You're not going to run away this time, are you, ferry-girl?"
"No," she said, hiruiseki stone glinting in the sunlight as it shone between them. Leaning in closer, she brushed her smiling lips against his and promised, "I'm right where I want to be."
And that's a wrap, folks! I hope you all enjoyed this little tale; I definitely enjoyed writing it.
Please consider dropping a review to let me know your thoughts.
Catch you all in the next fic~