Taking Steps

Author's Note: Originally published on May 25, 2021

Hermione stopped at the bottom of the stairs, spying Ron sitting in front of the common room fire. His head was dropped in his hands, his shoulders slouched forward. It had been such a terrible night and her grief had been pressing down her chest as she'd lain in bed, staring up at the ceiling. She wasn't surprised to see him in the same state.

She quietly walked over, seeking him out for her own comfort. He looked up at her approach; his eyes red-rimmed in the firelight. Her heart broke for him in that moment as she placed a gentle hand on his shoulder.

"I'm so sorry about Bill."

Ron nodded, his voice cracking. "Mum and Fleur are looking after him. They're still up in the Hospital Wing." He hesitated. "It's just..."

"What is it? You can tell me."

He stared down at his hands helplessly. "It's Bill. He's always been the invincible big brother, to all of us. Even Fred and George were in awe of him. To see him all torn up like that..."

His voice ached with a vulnerability he rarely showed her. Compelled to comfort him in his time of need, she held out her hand. "Fancy a walk?"

His eyebrows flew up and he stared at her for a moment. Hermione almost withdrew the offer, but he croaked out an answer. "Sure, yeah."

He grabbed her hand and hauled himself up from the sofa—but didn't let go as they walked toward the portrait hole. The frame was empty, the paintings presumably gathering elsewhere to mourn.

They ambled down the corridor; their hands gripped tightly as if clinging to one another for support. It didn't matter that it was past midnight, and they'd get in trouble if caught. If anyone even cared to patrol the halls.

Their winding path took them away from all the places that had seen tragedy that night, their silence a fitting match for the gloom in the castle.

Hermione glanced up at Ron, noting his furrowed brow and pursed lips. "Knut for your thoughts?"

"I was just thinking about how awful this whole year has been," Ron said, his face screwing up with frustration. "Now all this."

Hermione nodded sympathetically. "It wasn't a great year, but things seemed to get better at the end, until now that is. I really didn't expect it to end like this."

Ron snorted. "Nothing went the way I hoped it would and it all seems so silly now, so meaningless compared to the things that really matter. Bloody hell, even getting poisoned probably prevented me from doing something else I'd end up regretting."

Hermione shook her head, her voice trembling. "Please... please don't joke about that. Not after tonight."

"I'm not joking. Waking up to find you reading at my bedside was the best thing that happened all year. Isn't that pathetic? Gods, I really missed you."

She knew she was blushing but chose not to acknowledge it. "It's not pathetic, Ron. I'm glad we were able to become friends again, especially after everything that happened. We'll need our family and friends more than ever."

He ran his free hand through his hair. "So much time wasted... when we have so little of it. What the fuck is going to happen now?"

She didn't even bother to admonish his language. "I don't know what happens next, but we'll support Harry in whatever he needs to do."

Ron nodded. "It's all we can do, I suppose. Thanks, uh, for listening."

She gave him a grim smile. "You're welcome."

They kept meandering around the quiet castle, hand-in-hand, neither wanting to go back just yet. They'd made so many memories at Hogwarts, despite the looming danger that had marked the years they'd spent at the school.

Her thoughts again returned to the ones that had initially kept her awake. It felt to Hermione like a part of her died tonight. Things were much more real, and the safety of having Dumbledore protecting them left her feeling defenseless. Her fears and griefs came flooding back at the thought.

Perhaps sensing the shift in her mood, Ron broke the silence, giving her hand a squeeze.

"Hey, is everything alright?"

"I-I'm... oh, I can't believe it!" She dissolved into tears, her eyes blurry and her whole body trembling. Ron pulled her tightly against his chest; his arms secure around her. She gripped the back of his shirt as her muffled voice continued.

"Dumbledore... Bill... Snape. It's all horrible, and I'm so scared."

His hands, unsure, slowly rubbed up and down her back, soothing her as she let herself break down for a few minutes. She finally sniffled and looked up, only to find his blue eyes watching her with such concern and tenderness that it nearly stole her breath away.

"S-Sorry about your shirt," she mumbled, looking at the dark wet blotches that had soaked up her tears.

"It's no problem. Feel free to cry on me anytime." The tips of his ears blossomed red and he grimaced.

She let out a hiccup and chuckled. "I'll remember that."

"I'm happy I could be here for you this time. I hope I haven't stuffed things up too badly. Between us, that is."

There it was, that unspoken thing between them. So close, yet so far.

"You haven't," she whispered.

"Good."

Their words remained hanging in the air as they stared at each other in the darkened hallway. They heard a scuffle at the end of the corridor, breaking them out of their trance.

Ron shrugged his shoulders, releasing her and stepping back. She instantly missed the feel of him so close.

"We'd better get back. Mum has enough to worry about right now, without me getting in more trouble. Merlin knows I've had enough of it this year. This really helped, Hermione."

As they made their way back through the common room and to the staircase, she grabbed his hand and gave it a squeeze, causing him to come to an abrupt stop and direct his attention to her, his expression slightly dazed.

"Will you sit with me, at the funeral? I might need to take you up on your offer."

"Of course, Hermione."

She let go of his hand, reluctantly, and began to make her way up the stairs. She felt a bit more hopeful than when she'd come down. Yet, she couldn't help but add one more thing before they retired for the night.

"Ron, about what you said earlier. Even if it didn't seem like it, I missed you this year, too."

Ron's eyes widened. "Yeah?"

She flashed him a shy smile, before turning back to the stairs. "Yes. Good night."

"Good night, Hermione."