Hey guys. This one goes along with my story the recovery of Amanda in the chapter where Alex finds out about Amanda's regression. This is the story of Olivia seeing Amanda regress for the first time and the discussion they have for Amanda becoming little Amanda. Hope yall enjoy. I take any requests.
It was a cold winters evening in New York city and like most people, Olivia Benson and Amanda Rollins were in doors. Currently, the two women were on the brunette's sofa, having one of their movie nights when Amanda's cell phone rang, breaking the silence that had fallen over them as they watched the movie. "Hello?" Amanda said, and Olivia pressed pause on the remote. "You ungrateful brat. Where the hell have you been and why have you not answered your phone?" Beth Anne's angry voice demanded and the blonde visibly flinched, shifting closer to Olivia, her mask slipping little by little and the urge she had to be a little girl once again becoming stronger by the second. She knew she couldn't slip now though. This was something no one knew about, not even Olivia so she took a shaky breath before responding.
"Sorry, Mama. I was working and I'm with a friend, Olivia. What is going on? Did something happen?" "Oh, now you care. You didn't care enough to answer your phone before now. It is just like when you were little.
You spent hours on end in the closet, never wanting to be with your family." Beth Anne said and Amanda felt her world begin to spin and Olivia gently rubbed her back. "Why are you with Olivia? You know, Amanda, one day she will get tired of you and she will leave you, which is exactly what I should've done." Beth Anne said before continuing to rant about how the blonde was not worthy of love or compassion before hanging up the phone and the little control Amanda had slipped completely and she burst into hysterical sobs before beginning to have a full tantrum as her inner little took over.. .
"Hey, honey." Olivia cooed, kneeling down in front of the little one, staring in shock as Amanda's thumb crept into her mouth and she sucked contentedly. "Amanda, baby, can you hear me?" Olivia questioned gently, now worried immensely for her detective.
"Livia." the blonde mumbled around the thumb. "I sorry, I sorry." "Amanda, sweetheart, what is going on?"
"Little." "Little?" The brunette asked, a confused look taking over her face and Amanda nodded.
"I little." She whispered before it clicked for the brunette. "Honey, do you... mentally regress when the world is to scary sometimes?" She inquired softly, already knowing the answer. All she got was a nod in response as Amanda crawled into her lap, snuggling into her arms.
"Ok, honey, ok. We will figure this out." Olivia whispered, rocking the little one slowly.
A little while later after sitting in silence, Olivia finally decided to approach the subject. "Hey, baby, I need to talk to my big girl." She said softly, not wanting to disturb the calm little one in her arms. "Liv. I'm sorry. I didn't mean to. Please, no closet, I be good." She said, retreating back into little space and the seasoned detective frowned in concern.
"Hey, angel, no closet. No one will ever put you in the closet, not as long as I'm around." She assured. "Can I talk to big girl Amanda for a second?" "Liv, it was my mom." She said, finally feeling safe enough to open up and wanting one thing, to be able to be Olivia's little girl.
"I know, honey. I could hear her." She answered, kissing the top of Amanda's head, knowing the hell she had gone through as a child. "What I really want to focus on is the regression. How long have you been doing that?"
"For a while. Usually when you leave after we have had one of our movie nights or sometimes, when you hold me and I start falling asleep." She revealed, a blush taking over her cheeks.
"Do you feel safe like that with me, sweetheart?" She questioned, the pieces slowly falling into place. She just needed Amanda to confirm it. "Yes, I do. "I-I want to be your little girl." She whispered, her thumb returning to her mouth and Olivia made a note to get some pacifiers next time she was out. "Amanda, listen to me. I know your parents abused you, baby. I don't mind at all if you need to be my little girl, but I also think this will be good for you if I spank you, only when you are naughty though." She added when Amanda began trembling in her arms. "Ok, Liv. Please, just don't beat me." She wailed, clinging to Olivia with everything she had. "Oh, honey. I will never beat you or put you in the closet. The only spanking you will ever have is one on your bare bottom." She explained gently, rocking her detective gently in her arms.
"Promise, Livy?" "I promise, baby, I promise."