……
Gus carefully swung the golf club the way Mabel had shown him. The little white ball whizzed into action, ricocheting off several objects and finally crashing through a sloped, wooden wall near the ceiling. Gus cringed.
"Eh. It's fine, these walls are like, a trillion years old." Mabel shrugged.
"Chronologically and historically impossible." Dipper pointed out from behind his journal.
"No, you!" King said. The other kids laughed.
"Because of all the portal and finding Chad biz, shouldn't you guys also be more focused on helping Ford?" Dipper pointed out.
"Dipper, not everyone finds looking at notebooks relaxing." Mabel said. "And I'm trying to calm these guys' nerves by distracting them from all of that and having fun!"
Luz nodded. "Come on, why don't you join us for a round?"
"I..really shouldn't. In fact, I'm going downstairs to brainstorm with the adults." Dipper decided. He stood up and exited the room. Mabel rolled her eyes. "He does that when he gets anxious. Alright, who's next?"
"Ooh! Me! I'm next!" King said, jumping up and reaching in vain for a golf club on top of Dipper's desk. "That kid's lucky he fled while he had the chance. Not only will I beat you feeble teens, I will play the best turn of mini golf this realm has ever seen, and rule over mini golf kind forever once you crown me as your immortal tyrant! Nyeh! Nyeh!" He continued, on tiptoe, to desperately grasp for the golf club. Luz giggled and handed him hers. King stopped jumping up and down, accepted the club, and cleared his throat. "Ahem. Thank you."
"I don't see why you make Dipper so nervous." Mused Willow, cross-legged on the floor, cradling the dead Chad plant in her arms.
Gus set a ball down, and King raced forward and swung it with the club and intense vigor. The ball zipped through the air, landing on the wall, then the ceiling, then another wall. It bounced off Mabel's head, knocking her off her bed. It finally crashed through the triangular window. "Uh, oops." The little demon said.
Mabel sat up, cheering wildly, a huge purple bruise adorning her forehead.. "Woo! Hoo! Way to go, King! I've never seen anything like that in mini golf ever! And you're cute. You know what? You just won."
"Yes. Yes! YES!" King cackled triumphantly.
"Uh, Mabel, you got a little something-"said Luz, gesturing to her own forehead about where the golf ball mark on Mabel's was.
Mabel waved a dismissive hand, eyes going slightly unfocused. "I'm fine, Dipper. Ow." She rubbed her head.
"Uh…" said Luz.
There was suddenly a ginormous crash from somewhere outside. "What in the world?" Came a Southern-accented voice from the ground below. "Some golf ball just flew out of nowhere and made me swerve into a tree!"
"Yes, I can see that, Ted."
Curious, the Boiling Isles natives (and Mabel and Luz) peered our the three-sided window to see just how much damage they had caused. Somehow, a truck had crashed into a nearby tree, and several boxes had spilled out of the bed onto the Mystery Shack grounds. Gideon Gleeful and the man he had called Ted exited the truck.
"What do you see?" Wondered Mabel.
"It's that kid from last night! The one Lilith nearly devoured!" King recognized.
Mabel gasped and stiffened. "I don't exist. I do not exist." She shrank to the floor and hid herself.
The others crowded the window and continued to eavesdrop. It wasn't that hard to do so. Gideon was yelling quite loudly.
"No! You idiot! Are you telling me you don't even understand basic directions? I told you to 'deliver these to my father's residence for decoration.' Not 'spill generously across our neighbor's front lawn!'"
"Now, now, Master Gideon, calm down." The driver reasoned. "It was just one little accident. A mistake."
"YOU WERE A MISTAKE!" Gideon screeched.
The driver looked taken aback. "Well, now, you don't have to bring that up…"
Gideon inhaled deeply. "Don't you understand? These things are smuggled from another world and are thought to possess special powers! If Mabel ever walks by our house and happens to smell one, she may just fall head over heels for me! This isn't completely without hope!"
The truck driver glanced in the opposite direction awkwardly. Then, he bowed, opened the door for Gideon, who, with help from him, was lifted into the passenger's seat of the truck. Ted closed the door and they sped off down the dirt road, cargo, mostly various plants, once again loaded neatly into the truck bed.
"Wait! Do you see that?" Gus suddenly asked.
"What?" Everyone else asked.
"Look at those flower boxes!" Gus urged.
They all squinted at the back of the truck, which was slowly vanishing from view, to see that a couple boxes of flowers contained blooms with large, neon purple petals and swirling golden tendrils. In other words, they looked identical to Chad.
……
The four adults (if you can call some of them that) and Dipper were sitting in the living room in silence, trying in vain to come up with any new ideas when they heard a thundering of feet come flying down the stairs. "Quick! Quick! It's Chad! To the car!" Mabel screamed.
The adults turned to her, startled. "Woah, woah, kid, slow down." Stan said. "What's this all about?"
Luz took a deep breath. "We were playing golf in the attic and we saw that kid, Gideon, I think his name was, in a truck that crashed onto the front lawn that was holding boxfuls of flowers that looked exactly like Chad!"
"They were actually Transpalnts! I saw them with my own eyes! I don't know how or why they're here, but we definitely saw them!" Willow added.
"Woah, woah, woah, what?" Dipper exclaimed.
Gus grabbed him by the shoulders. "Dude. The Gleefuls have the flower we need!"
Dipper stood up from the carpet and began pacing furiously in a tight circle. "That's incredible! What are the odds? No, like, seriously, there was like a one in a billion chance of that happening. But that means…we have to get one….or maybe multiple, that'd be even better! But how? Do we just…take it?….We might have to break in…"
"Yes?" Stan perked up at the sound of the words 'break in'. "Breaking into that little creep's house? Count me in!"
Now, now, there must be a more legal solution!" Lilith urgently argued. "Really, Stan, for shame! It's like Edalyn's schoolgirl pranks all over again." Lilith shook her head. "No. I insist we at least try to ask these Gleefuls for one or two plants before we jump to anything drastic. Alright?"
Stan slumped in his chair, grumbling.
Mabel glanced at Luz. "I guess I could use a walk."
……
About twenty minutes later, the girls reached the Gleeful residence. Before Mabel knocked on the door, she groaned. "I really don't want to do this, Luz. It would be so much easier and less awkward to just raid the house."
"It'll be okay! Just let me do the talking." Luz suggested. Mabel hesitantly knocked on the door, cringing away from it. Almost instantly, Gideon answered. "Why, sweet Mabel Pines! How are you doin' this fine day? And your friend, too, I guess."
"Hi. I'm Luz Noceda." Luz said. "Listen, can we ask a favor? See, my friends and I were pulled to this town from another dimension, and only the power of one of the flowers you had in that truck can bring us back. So, we were just wondering, can we borrow one?"
Mabel nodded earnestly as Luz finished recounting the situation. Gideon tapped a fat finger on his chin thoughtfully. "Need one of my magic flowers, hm? Well, I'd me more than happy to help a few stranded strangers out!"
Really?" Mabel asked eagerly.
"Sure! If Mabel agrees to marry me this afternoon." He said with a more crazed look in his eyes.
Luz and Mabel slammed the door shut and took off down the street at a run.
……
They emerged through the doorway of the Shack a few minutes later, wheezing.
"Well?" Said Lilith.
"He'll only do it if I agree to marry him." Mabel groaned.
"So, do we have the plant or not?" Eda asked.
"Not!" Mabel and Luz answered indignantly.
"We're gonna have to go with the break-in plan, then." Gus said.
"Yes!" Stan said, sitting up excitedly. "Break-in plan! I'm going in to get that troll's stupid flower. Who's coming with me?"
"I'll admit, I'm up for an adventure, especially if it helps us get back home." Luz said. "I'm in."
"I'll come, too!" King said. "Committing crimes is much easier when I'm around, you know!"
"If you two are really gonna do this, I'd better come and make sure you don't expire." Eda sighed, then quietly added, "And, I guess Stan will be there too, or whatever…"
"What about you all?" Stan asked, gesturing to the remaining five. "You wanna break a law today?"
"No, no." Said Willow, stroking brown, dry Chad. "This plant still might be salvageable. I'm staying here to see if magic can work somehow. In fact, Gus, I might need your illusionist insights."
Gus shrugged. "Alright. I'll stay and help Willow."
Dipper averted his eyes when the schemers' gazes fell on him next. "Yeah, I'll just keep doing research in case this psychotic way doesn't work out….Mabel can go, though. She knows that house better than any of us."
All eyes fell on Mabel.
"You know, I'm feeling kind of good about trespassing in my jerky ex-boyfriend's house today. Also a little woozy." Mabel rubbed her head where the golf ball bruise was, still grinning widely. "Go, team break-in!"
Stan, Luz, King, and Eda cheered.
A-are you really going to let them do this?" Lilith asked Ford. He shrugged. "So long as no one dies.You'll get used to it. Lilith and I will be down in the basement, coming up with more alternative strategies." He informed everyone.
"Team break-in!" Mabel cheered.
"Alright, if we're gonna pull this off, we've got to plan." Said Eda. "And we gotta plan well."
"Screw it, let's go!" Stan said, already halfway out the door. The kids and King whooped and hollered and followed excitedly. Eda shrugged. "Eh. Why not?" She followed the lunatics and shut the door behind her apathetically.
……
She wandered along behind the kids, down the dirt driveway and into a red, retro car. She grinned, filling to the brim with nostalgia. This was the very one she had stolen from Stan fourteen years before.
"Nice." She remarked. "Not a scratch on it. It's as if I stole it only yesterday."
When they reached the little blueish house after parking a little ways down the street, Stan turned to them. "Alright, kids. Breaking into a house requires stealth and speed. If you get lost or separated from me and the witch, just head back out to the front garden."
"Remember: time is of the essence!" Eda added.
"Hahaha! The sidewalk is a snake that's all wiggly." Mabel giggled.
"Alright, girls, and, uh, demon, let's roll! Time is money!" Stan called, leading the way up to the house. He made sure no one was around, then carefully broke the nearest window with a rock. He, and Eda, with King on her shoulders, climbed through, followed by Mabel, who almost faceplanted onto the pile of broken glass in the next room. Luz, with quick instinct, helped Mabel through and then awkwardly crawled in herself.
She was amazed by what she saw. These guys were actually very well off. A rich, complex carpet ran down a hallway full of cheesy photographs and creepy clown paintings. The house itself was surprisingly tall and high-walled; she doubted she could reach the ceiling if she jumped. At the end of the hall was an open door, where they could hear Gideon Gleeful humming to himself.
"Take cover!" Hissed Stan.
"Where?" Asked Eda.
Stan looked around. "Good question. Uh-"
They ended up all scrambling into the nearest room, the master bedroom, where Gideon's mom sat knitting in bed. They all gasped, and so did she, before pausing, thinking for a bit, then shrugging it off, "Just keep knitting, just keep knitting…" she decided. Everyone breathed out in relief.
"Right, someone check if that troll's out of the way." Eda said.
Luz cautiously opened the door a crack to see Gideon walking down the hall, humming contentedly.
"All clear!" She whispered.
They inched out of the room, leaving a forcefully oblivious Mrs. Gleeful.
"Let's head to Gideon's room! If there's weird secrets anywhere in this house, it'll be in there!" Mabel suggested, eyes out of focus.
"And you know this how?" Stan wondered.
"Great idea! He's distracted outside right now!" Luz reported from the window. " To the creep's room!"
……
Inside the room, Luz inspected the kid's cluttered desk first. "Office supplies, string, and one, two…seven wooden Mabel dolls. Dang."
She checked the corners and around the closet. "Nothing. Wait." She noticed something on the top shelf and took it down. It was some sort of crystal that sparkled and shone from within, as if there were lightbulbs implanted in it. A small sticky note stuck to the side of it, in very neat cursive, read: Found by the library.
"Pretty." Luz admired, setting it on the desk next to a Mabel doll. She continued searching and found nothing else interesting. "Guys, I think we need to search the rest of the house."
"Meh. Fine." Stan said, ceasing to throw random drawers open and pocket loose change from the bottoms of them.
Eda noticed something shimmering out of the corner of her eye, turned around, and gasped. "Sparkle thing!"
She hopped over and started fingering the crystal the light was coming from.
"Eda, what are you-oooh!" Mabel also laid eyes on the crystalline glow. "Oooh." She also started fingering it. "Sparkle thing. Ow. My head."
"Sparkle thing." Eda agreed.
"Sparkle thing." Mabel echoed.
They didn't notice King, Stan and Luz exit the room.
They also didn't notice Gideon enter the room.
"Yes, mother, of course I remembered to-agh! What in the world? Intruders! Wait, Mabel?"
Mabel and Eda glanced guiltily up from the crystal, which they had both been licking, then all of a sudden snapped back to their senses once they realized what exactly their situation was.
"Gideon!" Mabel cried. "This isn't what it looks like!"
Gideon stared back blankly. "I don't even know what this is supposed to look like. What are you doing in here? I-I am so dang confused! And, wait a minute-you're that demon who tried to eat me, aren't you?"
"Well, actually, that was my sister. Funny story, we-"
"Henchmen! Seize them!" Gideon decided. His two hulking ex-prison mates appeared and grabbed both Eda and Mabel.
"The kid has bodyguards. Unbelievable …" Eda muttered. She wiggled, but couldn't escape the guard's hold. "Crap."
Gideon surveyed both of them for a moment. "Gentlemen, to the stake out front!"
"Ooh, that sounds delicious." Mabel said.
"A stake for 'burnin, sweetie. The menace needs to be dealt with before the wedding, after all." Gideon clarified.
"Oh." Said Mabel. She and Eda gasped. "WHAT?"
"Well, you really didn't think I was gonna let the monster waltz into my house, did you? She's clearly deranged! Look at those teeth, Mabel-pie!"
"Don't call me that." The girl murmured. She and Eda were led by guards down the hall, out the front door, and into a pretty little front garden.
"Tie her to that stake!" Gideon commanded, pointing to a nearby live-sized Cupid statue of himself on a fountain. The guard holding Eda's wrists took out a rope and started binding her to the nearest statue.
"No! Don't do this!" Mabel cried. "You can't just burn us! That's gotta be illegal or something!"
Gideon slowly turned to face her. "Well, of course you'll be spared, Mabel-pie." He said. "and our wedding will follow shortly after the last of the beast's ashes rise into the sky!"
Eda shrugged from her prison of ropes. "I wish I could say I was less used to this. It's okay, kid. I'm magic, for Pete's' sake." She attempted to draw a spell circle out of habit. "Aw, curse word. I really need to stop forgetting about that."
"You're making a mistake! Eda's not a monster! Well, most of the time. It's just this curse she has; it's not even under her control!" Mabel begged as the bodyguards began to throw a pile of wood at the witch's feet.
"Do you think I can be persuaded by those kinds of lies? " Gideon snapped. "This isn't just for me, Mabel. It's for this whole town. We need to protect ourselves from threats such as this! The witch must burn!"
"No!"
...