Chapter 2
Rules #16-30
16.) You can NOT use Ace in an attempt to roast Marco, figuratively and literally.
Thatch: It's not like it works anyways….God fucking damn it….
Marco: Thatch. Enough, you child.
Thatch: You're the child!
Marco: My point exactly.
17.) STOP threatening to withhold meals when Ace gets on your nerves. His whining is annoying and you always give in to his puppy eyes anyways. Save us all the trouble.
Thatch: I understand now, Izou. They are Ace's most powerful weapon. How does he do that?
Ace: Do what, haha?
Thatch: You damn well know what I'm talking about.
Ace: No clue!
Thatch: Not only shall I starve you, but I am going to smother you in your sleep!
Ace: Eeep! The list says you can't starve me! As for the smothering….Marco, help?
Marco: No.
Rakuyo: Oh damn, that's cold.
18.) Rule #11 also applies to marines and enemy pirate crews. We know about the Shanks/Mihawk story you and Izou wrote. STOP it.
Thatch: It was Izou's idea, I was just a consultant on it.
Izou: Oh, that's fucking BULL and you KNOW IT!
Ace: In all fairness, it was actually a really good story. Very….dirty, though…
Marco: Ace?! Izou, Thatch. You two are done for when I find you.
Thatch: Okay, Ace is a grown ass man and can READ WHAT HE WANTS! We are not to be held accountable for his actions!
Izou: That's debatable.
Thatch: Izou? Betrayal!
19.) STOP making 'goo-goo' eyes at Izou when you think no one is looking.
Thatch: I don't make 'goo-goo eyes at Izou'. Can't a man...appreciate...another man's physical assets?
Curiel: Just admit you check him out, man. Save us all the trouble.
Thatch: I don't!
Izou: It's quite alright Thatch, I'm used to stealing glances. It doesn't bother me any.
Thatch: You're...you're used to it? What does that mean? Who?
Marco: And there he goes, stop riling him up Izo.
Izou: No promises. ;)
20.) STOP hazing new crew members or alliances.
Thatch: No.
21.) You are to NEVER play those cursed bagpipes again.
Thatch: Awe man, you gotta be kidding me. They weren't cheap! Now what am I gonna do with them?
Vista: Where did you even get them…?
Thatch: That's a secret. A kinky secret~~~
Jiru: Thatch!
22.) You can NOT threaten to feed Ace's baby Den Den Mushi to the sea kings as revenge for the hair cutting incident.
Thatch: He just about MAIMED ME! I think feeding that thing to the sea kings is a mild form of revenge.
Ace: His name is Squishy, show some respect you uncultured swine.
Thatch: No.
23.) STOP hiding Fossa's cigars just to irritate him.
Thatch: I'm just worried about his health is all! Back me up here Curiel.
Curiel: You know, I would but I quite like living and my main man Fossa is still looking for you. Last I saw he was searching the crew's quarters. So look out.
Thatch: You betrayed me only to slightly redeem yourself. My revenge will be minimal.
Curiel: Whatever, you dramatic beehive.
Thatch: Excruciating revenge! You will rue this day!
Curiel: Dramatic.
24.) STOP using Namur as sea king bait when he's too drunk to wake up.
Thatch: He's the best bait though! And he doesn't mind.
Jiru: That's because he is out cold from drinking too much. He cannot consent to being your bait asshole.
Thatch: So what your saying is, use him as bait when he's sober and he'll be cool with it.
Jiru: No!
Namur: I hate it here.
25.) Zombies are NOT pets, dumbass.
Thatch: Zombies are people too!
Marco: No? They aren't, yoi? This should be a rule that goes without saying and I am embarrassed for you right now, Thatcher.
Thatch: I stand by what I said and I still want one.
Whitebeard: No, Thatch. There's enough chaos on board without zombies.
Thatch: But Pops!
Whitebeard: No.
26.) STOP holding drinking competitions before noon. It fucks up the whole day.
Thatch: …..No comment. I feel bad. Sorry Atmos.
27.) You are NOT Izo's pimp, quit acting as such.
Thatch: He hasn't told me I'm not? He's never denied it? I even bought a pimp cup!
Blenheim: Izou, hasn't this gone a little too far?
Izou: Oh hush. I like sleeping around on islands and if some people offer me a little money here and there, who am I to refuse it? And if Thatch just happens to be my wingman...well, hehe.
Blenheim: That is the most downplayed definition of a pimp and prostitute that I have ever heard.
Izou: Call me that again and say goodbye to your manhood. I just happen to enjoy the physical pleasures. Slut shame me if you will.
Thatch: I won't let any of these bastards slut shame you! I'd be a terrible pimp then!
Marco: I have no words for this. I think I'd rather take a swan dive overboard than address this.
Jozu: You dumbasses broke Marco, good going.
Thatch: Hey!
28.) You can NOT threaten to poison someone's meals just because you're currently in a fight with them.
Thatch: It's not even deadly if it's in small doses….
Curiel: I'm not taking care of your poisoned victims.
29.) NOR are you allowed to poison any current prisoners, whether their pirates or marines.
Thatch: I believe there should be an exception if the prisoners are assholes.
Blamenco: I second this.
Kingdew: I third this.
Marco: I ban this, yoi. No poisonings of any kind.
Thatch: Fine, fine. No poison.
30.) NO capes. End of discussion.
Thatch: Damn, foiled again.