Disclaimer:
I do not own the characters of middle earth or anything, just having fun, that is all.
Summary:
So a bit of fun based off of "meat is back on the menu's boys" said by Ugluk, how did he know of menus? This insanity came to mind, Saruman takes Ugluk out to eat and discusses his plans with him.
MEHOP ™ (Middle Earth House of Pancakes) saw a lot of things. This close to the war at 2 in the morning even more strange things were seen. It was a typical MEHOP ™, a large main room with blue booths and wood table tops with a high peaked ceiling with the flags of middle earth above. It was clean, so very clean and the cook was watching the two who had entered. Oh he did not have to fear being on the menu himself, cooks were rarely eaten as they were needed to cook food, even for orcs. The tall orc, grey and clad in armor and leather, well made armor and leather took a seat across from the old man with long white beard and hair clad in white robes, or they looked white from here.
"Thank ye Sharkey." Ugluk said.
"You deserve a reward after all you have been doing for me, the lads work hard under you and follow your orders well." Saruman said and the waitress came over with menus and put them down. "Thank you."
"Yes thank ye." Ugluk said.
"Do order what you wish." Saruman said.
Ugluk looked over the menu and then over at the human waitress, tall, clad in the blue gown that was the MEHOP™ uniform for women with white apron. She was chewing gum and looked bored, she glared back at Ugluk with the look of a seasoned waitress, which was nearly as bad as a warrior. Ugluk went back to his menu, so many choices, but he took his time and found what he liked. She came over with her pad and clicked open her pen.
"So what will it be?" She asked.
"Coffee, and meat lovers omelet with a side of bacon, and more bacon and sausage and Swedish pancakes." Ugluk said.
"Vegetarian omelet with chocolate chip pancakes, no whip cream though, gets in my beard, extra butter please." Saruman said "and tea please, regular tea."
"Got it, be right back." Ellie said walking off.
She came back with coffee and tea and put it on the table and left while the cook got busy making the food. Ugluk added sugar but no cream to his coffee and sipped at it. He could be civilized when he wanted to, that was the advantage of the Uruk-hai after all, and why he had the rank he did. He smiled at Saruman, such a good master and boss, he always thought about his lads. Why they tried the old fight and kill each other around him and someone was getting a beating to correct that behavior.
"So you ready to head out to get what is needed?" Saruman asked.
"Yes, but what do these Shire rats have?" Ugluk asked.
"An elfish weapon, one you should not handle, it would hurt you." Saruman replied, "I really hate sending any of you into battle but…"
"Sharkey, Sharkey it is what we were created for, war and dark things are in our blood, but you made it so the sun she don't hurt us." Ugluk said. "You care, that I like about you, hard as iron you are but a good boss."
The food came and Ugluk showed he had manners, he used his fork and knife well and ate with more grace than even some kings. Saruman made sure to be very careful to not get syrup in his beard and he ate well too. MEHOP was always a good place to go. In fact Ugluk had made sure to bath and so was as clean, despite being rather awful creatures, orcs did bathe even if they did not swim. Good warriors knew to keep clean as that helped them keep going. Though in battle that was a different story.
"I wish I could go to Helm's deep." Ugluk said.
"This may not seem like it but is a better reward." Saruman said, "you have earned my trust."
"Thank ye." Ugluk said.
The rest of the meal was spent quietly, the orc and wizard enjoying the fine food of this establishment. Well fine food might be pushing it but it was comfort food. Ugluk loved the coffee and drank mug after mug and even Saruman switched to coffee as he found the tea terrible, not the fault of MEHOP™ but the tea tasted like someone did not know anything about tea, he had to put the teabag into the cup himself and it was not brewed for him and brought to the table like the coffee. Smoking was not allowed in the restaurant either but Saruman could wait on that.
Finally the meal came to an end and Ellie brought the check. Saruman counted out the money to pay and left a very generous tip. Ellie did not much care for orcs but Saruman was always a good tipper and she did not mind him here. The two left and Ugluk thanked her getting a smile from her. If only her human customers could be as nice.