I do not own One Piece.
Part tree: Gazing into the abyss
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The ground was covered with bodies. Curled up, shot, stabbed, without limbs, unrecognizable. In all her years with the marines, she never saw such carnage.
Survivors continued to fight, some submitting to horrors, weeping and screaming. She couldn't blame them. But soon... soon this nightmare will be...
It's over.
She thought as she fended off an unknown pirate, witnessing the deaths of Fire Fist and Whitebeard. Smoker rushed on ahead, telling her to survive at all costs. She held her breath and prayed for his life and the lives of her comrades.
Wordlessly, she walked through the corpses, looking at the victims. Did they know what fate awaited them?
Nothing could have prepared the soldiers for the atrocity they faced.
She felt like a drop in the ocean, incapable of making a difference.
Navy representatives stood tall, overcoming the pirates in vast numbers. Yet, nobody could outdo Whitebeard. He was a pirate, a Yonko, but he died a warrior's death.
Another rush of marines reassured her that it was indeed over.
Any moment now, they will help their comrades, bury the piles of corpses and enslave the foes that survived.
Instead, her companions stepped over their fallen brethren to put the surviving pirates to eternal slumber, acting as the judge, jury, and executioner.
They were painting the Marineford, the center of justice, red.
No mercy was given even if pirates surrendered and begged for their lives.
Disgust filled her insides; she was revolted with the world and herself. She was petrified at the horrors, unable to utter a word.
The presence of her allies and pirates was vanishing at the speed of light. Her head spun. She dropped to her knees, withholding the vomit.
Stop! Stop it! We won! It's over!
"Tashigi! Tashigi!"
Someone grabbed her upper arm, forcibly lifting her.
"This is a mistake... It's over... Why?" She mumbled.
"Get a hold of yourself!"
The man who screamed at her spun her around to face him. He shook her as she stared in a daze, recognizing a friendly face underneath the dirt and blood.
"Ko..."
"I'm glad you're still alive."
"We need to stop them!"
He didn't let go of her.
"Let me go!"
"There's nothing you can do, Tashigi. Admiral Sakazuki gave out the order."
"What?" She stared at the blood on his clothes.
"Did you... Did you... Kill... them?"
"He ordered all pirates to be obliterated."
She shook her head, tears choking her.
"This is not... This is not justice!"
"It's his justice. Absolute justice... and you and I are nothing but pawns."
"THAT'S ENOUGH!"
The whole battlefield went silent.
They both fixed on a man whose desperate shout made everyone freeze.
A marine?
Tears gushed down his face, as he gritted his teeth.
"Stop it, already! All this fighting, just end it!"
Tashigi covered her mouth with her hand; he stood in front of Admiral Akainu.
"We're throwing people's lives away! Every single soldier has a family waiting for them to return! We accomplished our goal!"
Her heart hurt, and she let out a sob. This young soldier was brave enough to stand up to his superior and try to end the pointless bloodshed. Something she couldn't.
"We keep chasing pirates who don't want to fight, drawing out a battle that should already be over and abandoning soldiers who could be saved if we treat their wounds now!"
Koby!?
Tashigi managed to free herself from Ko's grip, wanting to help the young soldier, but Ko grabbed her shoulders.
"Stop it. The kid is as good as dead."
"You wasted my time. The Navy has no use for soldiers who aren't righteous!" Akainu raised his fist.
"Koby! Let go! Koby!" Tashigi fought Ko's hands.
Suddenly, the ground beneath her feet opened; she fell into the depths of the Earth. Prepared to meet her doom, she closed her eyes.
She landed on something cold.
When she opened her eyes, she was met with white; her bare feet touched the purest of snow.
Red camellias were embroidered on the hem of her white dress.
The train of her dress left a trail, as she walked to the figure who awaited her underneath the tree adorned with the snowfall and ice.
"Where am I?"
"That's not important." Ko turned around, greeting her with one of the smiles that reminded her of their childhood. He was dressed in red, standing out in a serene environment.
"This has to be a dream."
"Regardless, it's a nice change, isn't it? To be freed from the terrors you usually dream of."
"You died. And I... I... My mind is playing tricks on me."
"Always first to point out flaws, huh?"
"Ko..."
"Whether I'm real or not, you have no other option but to listen to me."
"I suppose."
"Still a sore loser?"
He chuckled when she frowned.
"There's so much blood on my hands." Ko's voice turned grave.
"We swore we'll never take lives. How foolish of us, right?"
"I... That's- The circumstances-"
"Killing is killing, no matter the circumstances."
Tashigi opened her mouth, struggling to get the words out. She had failed herself yet again.
"If I was stronger... If I was smarter, I wouldn't be forced to take your life!"
"A path of a warrior, right? You're bound to take lives. To protect."
Tashigi bit her lip. Repressed memories threatened to surface again.
"Some things are out of our control. Like Marineford... Now we switched from defending citizens to declaring war to pirates, attacking them with every chance, sacrificing innocent lives in the process. Was I any different? I did what I was told."
Ko was translucent, aimlessly drifting.
His hair was tied into a low ponytail, while his blue eyes were devoid of kindness.
"I see them every time I close my eyes. The faces of people I killed... I don't want the same to happen to you."
"It's too late for me."
"You're still alive aren't you?"
"I... I don't know..."
Ko shook his head and gave a frustrated sigh.
"You have to accept what you've done. Embrace it and overcome it. You should know the value of life now that you were forced to take it. Even if it was an act of mercy."
He floundered for a moment.
"I wonder if I helped someone? Before I became a killer... Or was my existence merely a grain of sand in the hourglass of life?"
"Ko..."
"You don't get answers in the afterlife, Tashigi. Life... is a mysterious arrangement of the thesis, emotions, and inextinguishable regrets. I wish I found love."
"Ko, I am so sorry-"
Tashigi opened her mouth, but Ko held up a hand to stop her.
"There's no need for apologies, my dear friend. I was happy you came to me."
For a moment, she felt like she stood beyond the chronological time and the mortal realm. There was no death chasing her or angels pointing the way to heaven. She seeped into a void of emptiness and silence, realizing that the transition from life to death was like falling asleep.
"Be happy, Tashigi."
Ko's voice was serene as if his soul was liberated from heavy shackles.
"If you find love, don't let it go, no matter what. That's the only thing that will keep you sane."
She opened her eyes to the reddening sun. For a second, she couldn't remember who she was or where she was at.
The surroundings sunk in, telling her that she was far from home, in a haunted place, and that she took the life of her friend.
Her heart pounded, but she lay perfectly still. If she was alone, she would scream, ripping the bandages and opening her wound.
But she sensed his presence.
Her gaze ran over the pirate sleeping beside her. They were both lying on their sides, facing each other.
Asleep, he seemed less threatening. She studied his features, wondering why he dragged her here and looked after her. It wasn't the first time he saved her life.
Why? Why are you sleeping beside a killer?
The wound on her hip stung, an involuntary groan escaping her. Afraid that she woke him up, Tashigi closed her eyes, wishing she died with Ko.
Zoro's heavy eyelids opened at the faint moan. The first thing that came into focus was Tashigi. He reached his hand out to touch her cheek, but he stopped himself.
The color in her face returned, and her breathing was normal. He rose, blinking until his eyes adjusted to the red glimmers of light that came through the cottage cracks.
I could use a drink right now. A strong one.
Zoro rubbed his closed eyelids and heaved a sigh.
He needed to numb his mind.
Three nights ago, he went nuts.
She was losing a lot of blood. He had to find something, but the fucking rain was pouring and he couldn't see a thing. He ripped the fabric of his green coat, compressing her hip. The blood wouldn't stop coming. He felt warm liquid all over his hands. Tashigi's face was completely white.
"She won't stop bleeding~" The creepy voice sang. "Kehehe!"
"Shut up!"
"Her blood was warm and delicious! Kehehe!"
"HELP. Fuck! Fuck...FUCK." He called for help until his throat hurt.
"Don't die on me, Glasses!"
The survivors came out of their shelters, but he didn't let them near her until he was assured there was a doctor among them.
He did not separate from her during the treatment and cursed when he couldn't donate his blood.
The villagers had to pry him apart from the doctor since he grabbed him by the collar.
Izumo lifted a ban from traveling because the "evil that plagued them" was defeated. Most of the survivors left, which was expected.
What baffled him was that some of them stayed out of loyalty towards Izumo. Dude refused to leave, calling this uncanny island his home.
Ko's katana was in the corner near the door, gawking at him. The steel of the blade flashed with a deadly gleam.
It was a first.
The first time that Roronoa Zoro was intimidated by a blade.
While ordinary people saw everything as a blessing or a curse, warriors saw everything in life as a challenge. A blade that carried a hex, a curse, meant nothing to him. He was eager to wield it and master it.
But this frigging katana... It was like it had a mind of its own, and it was nothing like the presence he sensed in his swords.
He felt like he was submerged in the dark water when he took it, paralyzed from the coldness and without a grip on his mind and body.
The surge of power though... It was addictive. He had a vision of defeating Mihawk and helping Luffy fulfill his dream.
"That's right... There's nothing to be afraid of."
I'm not afraid. He replied to the well-known voice.
"Then what are you waiting for? Pick me up. Test my might."
I have to wait for Tashigi to wake up. You're not mine.
"Hyah! I chose you, not that woman. I'm yours and you're mine. You won me in a duel."
You're just a fragment of my imagination. I've been sober for too long.
"Stupid man! We have no time to waste! Or did you give up on your dream? On her dream?"
Rage blackened his vision, urging him to throw the goddamn sword in the sea. He curled his hands into tight balls, biting the insides of his mouth.
"Roronoa Zoro... I was searching for the right master to wield my powers. You're the only one who can do it. You are the only one who can undo all the wrong my previous wielders did. Do not be scared of my power."
He stood up from the bed, grabbing the sword.
This is a challenge. Just another challenge for me to conquer.
Roronoa was not back until the late afternoon, the screeching of the door announcing his presence.
She peeked through her eyelashes.
What was he doing with that... thing? Did he train with it?
Tashigi observed how he examined the sword, turning it over as it shined in the light.
Her love for swords was so passionate that no blade could ever be appalling to her. Their owners were at fault for the atrocities, not the blades.
But this one... this one...
It was a first.
The first time Tashigi didn't want to hold a new katana or admire it. She didn't want anything to do with it.
Deep inside she knew she was being irrational; katanas were killing tools and she used one to end her friend's life. But that's what it was. A tool.
The disgust she felt towards it was psychological, and aimed at herself.
Whenever she examined her hands, Ko's blood was there. Unwashable. Permanent.
She re-lived the same horrors that culminated with Ko's death, her hands drenched in warm blood, his groan as he bled out, his skin turning grey when the light left his eyes. And then... and then...
He became dust.
There was something really odd about it. She couldn't find the logical answer to why Ko would attack her, let alone turn into dust.
During the entire fight, he was a merciless, unstoppable killing machine, defying the laws of the human body. He did not wince or stop when she hit him or cut him, and he had an inhumane strength.
What's more, he didn't seem to recognize her, and she did not know his identity until Roronoa wounded him.
That mask he wore... I've seen it before. But where...?
With a parched throat and rigid muscles, she couldn't focus for long.
Her physical condition was next to nothing compared to the ache of her heart.
Life had to go on.
It did go on. Without Ko.
His death gnawed her insides, sadness pressing her chest, yet she couldn't cry out. Not while Roronoa was there.
She stole another glimpse of him.
Sweat dripped down his face. He swiped his forearm across his forehead, pulling the hem of his shirt over his head. It was true that his green coat did not hide his muscles and a massive scar, but she always avoided looking at his chest. It was inappropriate.
What happened to his green coat anyway?
She let out an unintentional grunt.
"Tashigi?" He approached, kneeling by her side. She nearly yelped.
"Mmm... Hi."
The look on his face was so sorrowful and tender that it frightened her. He touched her cheek softly. The mist in her eyes turned into tears; she had an urge to put her hands around him, but she couldn't, cause they were... enemies.
Are we? He's different... So different. I knew it since Loguetown.
After Marineford, she felt lost, unsure what to believe in. She was convincing herself that she'll find her way back as long as she had Smoker and G-5 beside her. But the fight with Ko compelled her to admit that she was so far off the path, that she could no longer return.
I just took a man's life. Do I have the right to speak about justice?
By the time she focused on Roronoa, he was wiping the tears from her cheeks. She concentrated on his words.
"... my friend who died. The sorrow and anger I felt back then are still with me. The loss can never be forgotten. It's like losing a limb."
He's trying to console me. A murderer.
"Yeah, but you didn't take her life." She coughed. "You don't have her blood on your hands." She turned her head to the side, to escape his fingers.
"You did what you had to do. If you couldn't do it, I would have."
"But you didn't. I was the one..." She swallowed the lump in her throat.
"How long was I out?"
"Three days."
"What happened?"
He briefed her about the events that transpired while she was unconscious. Which led her to a very important question.
She rose into a sitting position. A throb of pain went through her. Her face must have revealed it since Roronoa urged her to lie down again.
"I'm... Fine."
"You'll open your wound. Don't be stubborn." He pushed her shoulders back.
"How come you're still here, Roronoa?" She skipped to the point.
He froze in his tracks, then replied hastily, "Don't worry about that."
"Why are you still here?" She insisted.
"Lie down. I'm gonna bring you something to drink and eat-"
"Answer me!" She seized his hand before he could leave.
"Cause of you, 'kay! I came here because of you... You damn, stubborn woman! Can you cut me some goddamn slack?!" He exploded.
"W...What...?" Her brow puckered, and she blinked over at him. She was stupefied by the way his mind worked.
What was that supposed to mean?
"J-Just lie down and rest!" He yelled, stomping out of the cottage.
When he returned, she pretended to be asleep.
Before departing again, he left some food and water, taking the sword she didn't want to touch.
Strange confusion and panic funneled through her.
Was that a confession?
Don't be stupid.
Then why did he stay? Because of the treasure? In that case, he could have left with the others.
You remind him of the friend he lost.
An arrow of a different kind of sadness penetrated her heart.
Right.
Tears filled her eyes once more.
She wept for Ko and the others who lost their lives, for her future, and for the emotions she had for the green-haired man.
She never felt like this in her life. The closest she had ever come to such a sensation was when she was sick.
Light-headed, dizzy, hot, and cold at the same time.
She closed her eyes, groaning silently.
Confession of love from Roronoa? Ridiculous.
The troublesome feelings were clouding her judgment. She had a debt to pay. A debt of honor.
But more importantly... How is he not getting lost?
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The old man who went fishing every day gave him a bottle of sake.
He grinned.
Nice.
People who stayed with Izumo were in a festive mood and were offering him plenty of booze. Izumo himself gave him the high-quality liquor he drained yesterday. "Don't worry, Zero there's more! It's a small price to pay for the man who freed us from evil."
The alcohol that islanders produced couldn't compare to sake, but he wasn't picky.
Most of the bodies were buried at the cemetery near the village. He took his gift, intending to visit Atsushi's grave.
Hiding behind the tree, he waited for his widow to leave. The dusk has settled when she finally said her goodbyes, her sobs dampening the good mood sake induced.
After removing his swords, he took a seat in front of his grave with his legs crossed.
Yo. I brought you something. Old man Mako always has the good stuff.
He poured a bit of sake in the cup that stood as part of the offering.
Atsushi, the truth is, she's not my wife. She's a marine woman.
With a healthy sip from the bottle, he resumed his confession from yesterday.
Today, I ran away from her. Again. Just like in the old days... My brain shuts down every time I see her... And I think I figured out why I came up with the excuses to stay by her side.
He gulped sake until the bottle was more than half empty.
Ah, fuck. I wanted to savor it.
Was it possible to be more possessed by a desire for any other woman than Tashigi? Despite their bickerings, they functioned well and had a connection that was addictive almost as his connection with alcohol.
He drank long and deep, lowering the bottle when it was empty.
"Just have your way with her and get it out of your system. She's distracting you from your training!" The irritating, know-it-all voice, lectured.
You might be right.
"I am right. You saved her more than once and she acts ungrateful, treating you like a loser! Who needs that woman?!"
Hey. Don't talk about her like that.
"She's annoying! What do you see in her?"
I respect her as a swordswoman. She has potential and she will be great someday.
"You say that cause she reminds you of-"
At first, yeah. But I stopped comparing them a long time ago. Kuina was Kuina and Tashigi... She's something else. Her smile, big eyes, feisty nature, and strong will-"
"If I could vomit, I would."
You're just a sword and a product of my imagination so shut the hell up.
"Still going with that? Fine. Waste your time."
x
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"Not there, you idiot! Go straight! Straight! No, that's left! Go back!"
Shut up! I know where it is.
"You don't!"
Zoro sighed, stumbling in the darkness. His foot got caught on a rock, and he nearly planted his face in the dirt. The thought of her not waking up was torture. So were the thoughts of her relationship with Ko. Almost a form of personal punishment. He had nobody to discuss his feelings with, except with a grave and a hallucination. For the first time, he realized what hold she had over him.
I can't avoid her forever. Man up.
The door of the cottage squealed when he entered, and he jumped out of his skin when he saw Tashigi. She was still in bed, several candles lit around her, the book about swords resting in her lap.
"Hello." She greeted him.
"Yo."
"I... I'm not sure what happened earlier, but let's leave that behind us." She tucked a lock of hair behind her ear, trying to stand up.
"No! You shouldn't-"
"It's alright. I want to do this properly."
Do what?
She stood up on wobbly legs, a grain of sweat on her forehead telling him that it was extremely painful. He recognized her intention to walk to him, and he met her halfway.
Her breathing sped up.
"R-Roronoa Zoro..." She panted. "Thank you for saving my life."
She bowed.
"S-Stop- You shouldn't! The wound-"
"Regardless of the reasons, you stayed to help me... I will cherish my life. T-Though... T-Technically it's yours." She murmured.
What? Were his ears deceiving him? Was she...proposing?
"I can't listen to you, morons."
Zoro removed Ko's sword along with his, placing them on the tree stump table.
He decided to act as though nothing happened. But his excitement could not be restrained. He pressed his mouth, trying not to smile.
"Hm. Your life is yours... You should... live it."
"I will. But it's hard right now, I'm not going to lie."
"It never is, is it?"
"What makes you say that?"
"Come on."
"What are you doing?! You don't have to-"
Not waiting for her to finish, he picked her up in a bridal style and sat her down on the bed, a bit surprised with the lack of resistance. He then knelt asking for permission to inspect her wound.
Her face was flushed, and she agreed, evading his gaze.
His hands trembled slightly as if he was doing it for the first time.
"I have to take care of it."
"W-What?"
"Don't worry. Doc told me what to do."
He left her only for a moment to pick up the Navy medical kit. He placed it in front of him, kneeling before her once more. After a few seconds of shuffling, he extracted a large bottle of saline.
"Stitches are fine. I have to clean it."
Using gauze, he gently cleaned it, careful not to rub it or pick at it.
Tashigi didn't flinch until he finished.
He took a seat next to her when he put away the kit.
"If Ko ever visits you in your dreams tell him that he's an ass."
"I beg you a pardon?"
"I mean... I get why he wanted to die by your hand, but it was selfish. When a friend dies, a part of you dies with him. So, don't think he'll be alone. He has a part of you with him forever."
Her eyes filled with tears, and she pressed the cover to her chest.
"Glasses... You will not grieve forever, but you also won't forget. You'll learn how to live with it. Maybe honor what your friend believed in or achieve his dream. You will build yourself up again, but you won't be the same."
"R...Zoro..." she mumbled incoherent words, sniffing and hiding her face.
He had the urge to put his arms around her, but he held himself in check.
Her sobbing continued, and he hated how it tore his insides.
The hurt of losing a friend could not be fixed with words. It's like getting the wind knocked out of you, forcing you to forget how much you like the taste of the air.
Though he tried, he couldn't see her as a marine woman or a warrior who discovered the new ways life utilized to kick ass.
He put his arms around her and gently pulled her into his embrace. She wrapped her arms around his waist and tucked her face into his chest.
He didn't move as Tashigi's soft whimpers cut through him.
After several minutes she finally relaxed. He wasn't sure how to handle the new feelings he had for her.
Drawing in a deep breath, he wondered if he should talk to her about it.
"Tashigi, I..." His heart pounded violently when she looked at him.
"Hm...?"
"Nothin'. Sleep."