"Ten more to go," Sasuke barked. I groaned as I struggled through another shaky pushup, prompting him to gently—for Sasuke, anyway—kick me in the side. I went down like a ton of bricks, my face smashing into the dirt, and made no attempt to get up.

"C'mon." He kicked me in the same spot, much more softly this time. "…Baika?" The tiniest hint of worry crept into his voice, and I groaned again, rolling onto my back.

"I'm good," I panted, swiping the sweat from my forehead with a weakened limb. I forced a deep breath into my lungs, squinting against the afternoon sun. I was grateful that it was still early spring—I was warm enough as it was, though Sasuke still had bundled up against what he called the 'chill.'

"I don't get it," Sasuke mumbled, drawing my attention again. "I can do tons more pushups."

I gathered my strength and flung myself into an upright position. "Well," I mused, "I guess other than dancing with Kaa-chan, I don't exercise much." I ran a hand through my damp bangs, trying not to be disappointed by my performance. I'd known that it wouldn't be great, given that I spent most of my days in the limited space of our small café, but this was frankly a little pathetic.

Sasuke wrinkled his nose. "You look like you're about to fall over and die."

"I see," I said, trying not to be offended.

Sasuke must have noticed the look on my face, because he crossed his arms and huffed. "Look, this was your idea. Do you want my help or not?"

I grew slightly more serious at the reminder of what we were here for. "I do." I looked back up at him, giving him a determined nod. "Sorry, I'm ready to keep going."

He appeared a little surprised by my shift. "…Right," he coughed, glancing away. "Since you're tired, I'll run you through the katas."

"Yes, Sasuke-sensei," I answered, unable to keep a sly smile from creeping its way to my face.

Sasuke scowled, stomping a foot, looking very much like the five-year-old he was. "Hey! You said you were gonna take this seriously!"

I laughed breathlessly. "I will. Couldn't resist." I staggered to my feet. "The katas."

Sasuke pouted and turned his nose up. "I'll show you."

Sasuke began to move through a choreographed sequence of punches, kicks, elbow strikes, and evasive maneuvers, his body surprisingly graceful for that of a five-year-old. I watched as closely as I could, paying close attention to his footwork and noting the emphasis on a wide, strong stance, but by the end I knew that it'd take me a long time to master it the way he had.

When he returned to his starting position, I clapped politely. He flushed but played along, bowing dramatically with a surprising show of playfulness. 'Maybe I'm rubbing off on him.' "Very good. But I hope you realize that you're going to need to guide me through each one of those again," I said with a sheepish smile.

"Figured," he said. "You'll get it quick, though. This is baby stuff."

I tried not to fixate on that statement too much over the next few hours as I attempted to replicate the movements and had everything from my stance to my swings to my strikes picked apart. "I told you already, you have to move your leg with control when you kick or you'll throw yourself off balance," Sasuke chided.

I grit my teeth in exasperation at this latest correction. 'I am not annoyed at Sasuke,' I reminded myself. 'I am annoyed that I am not getting this as easily as I want. I am not annoyed at Sasuke.'

I kicked at the air again and, to my immense satisfaction, managed to pull off the high kick without a stumble. The victory was short-lived, however, as Sasuke shook his head again. "Your back foot was at the wrong angle," he said.

I was so frustrated that I was smiling. 'I am not annoyed at Sasuke,' I repeated.

We finished at last around dinner time. "I didn't know you were so weak," Sasuke said with a frown.

At that point, the exhaustion had caught up with me and I didn't have the energy. "Well, we can't all have talent, Sasuke," I snarked, stretching my arms and doing my best not to imagine how sore I would be tomorrow.

Sasuke frowned. "Talent…? Everyone in my clan can do this stuff. What talent?"

I looked at him askance. I supposed that, from his perspective, his abilities would hardly seem impressive. "Sasuke," I began, then stopped, mulling over my next words carefully. "Just because everyone in your clan can do it doesn't mean everyone else can, too."

Sasuke blinked. "Well… Yeah, I know," he said, but I was already shaking my head.

"No," I said, pursing my lips. "You may think you know, but you really don't. I live as a civilian and I have the fitness of a civilian. I'm the average one here."

He squinted. "…Average," he repeated dubiously.

"Average." I nodded.

Sasuke appeared as if he had been just been given a long, complex mathematical equation to solve. "…You're telling me," he struggled, "that civilian kids are all weak?"

"…I mean. Compared to you, uh. Yeah?"

Sasuke shook his head. "I... oh," he said. "Sorry then, uh. For how I talked today."

I snorted. "You mean how you made fun of me the whole time?" I let him squirm for a moment, taking some admitted satisfaction from the guilty set of his shoulders and the way his eyes darted to the side. "I'm not mad or anything. Promise. In fact, thanks."

He gaped. "Thanks?! For what?" He appeared as though I'd insulted him somehow, a reaction that baffled me, but that was somehow very, very Sasuke. The thought made me smile.

"Well. I might be average for a civilian, but I don't want to be a civilian. I wanna be a ninja. So 'average for a civilian' isn't enough."

Sasuke's expression relaxed a bit, his eyes scanning my face for something unknown to me. I let it go on a moment, but he kept doing it and I finally couldn't anymore. I swatted at him. "What?" I asked, a strange anxiety suddenly taking hold of me.

He blinked. "…You just made me realize something, is all," he said at last, turning to face forward.

"What?" I repeated, folding my arms defensively, a very six-year-old reaction.

"…I guess that's how I feel too," he said after a moment. "Grownups tell me I'm strong for a kid my age, but I don't wanna be a strong kid. I wanna be strong, period." A faint blush stained his round cheeks. "Someone who Nii-san can respect."

My chest tightened. "Itachi-san does respect you," I heard myself say.

He scoffed and kicked at the dirt. "How can he? I'm so weak compared to him," he mumbled.

A wave of emotion rose from deep within me. I grabbed his hand and forced him to meet my eyes. "He has every faith in you," I said with absolute conviction. "There is no better type of respect than that."

Sasuke stared at me, some unnamable emotion flickering behind his black irises. He squeezed my hand, so quickly and gently that I could have missed it, then dropped it and turned to face forward. "…Thanks, Baika," he said.

We walked in silence the rest of the way, a companionable feeling buzzing between us so tangibly that I could almost mistake it for chakra.

"Did you have a nice time?"

I looked up from my dinner. It was an innocuous enough question, but Kaa-chan's demeanor was a dead giveaway that she was searching for something.

I took a large bite of rice at that moment, taking my time to chew, and studied her. I knew she couldn't have seen any of our training. Her chakra signature was one of few that I could pick out of a crowd without fail, and I hadn't felt so much as a flicker of it.

I swallowed the mouthful and nodded. "Yeah," I said as nonchalantly as I could. "It was fun enough."

Kaa-chan's eyes met mine. A warm smile curved her lips. "What did you do?"

Rather than answering right away, I took another giant bite, somewhat savoring the tiny flash of irritation in her gaze. "Played," I said after a moment. "Tag, mostly."

"Ah," she said with a nod. "That must be how you got so dirty. You didn't push yourself too hard, did you?"

I shook my head. "No. I did get kind of tired, though. Sasuke's so much faster than me."

Kaa-chan laughed gently. "Well, that's to be expected," she said, gesturing with a dainty hand. "He's training to be a shinobi and you work at a café."

Her words weren't meant as a barb so much as a prod. A reminder of the way of things. Even so, they stung my pride.

I gave nothing but a curt nod, finishing my food quickly and thanking her for the meal, moving to clean my own dishes without a further word being exchanged between us that night.

I sat in the kitchen alone, turning over the conversation in my head, a faint sense of guilt twisting within me. I didn't like pushing at her that way. I didn't like seeing the wall we were building between one another, even if I had laid the first brick.

'She'll move on,' I told myself, staring at my now cold cup of tea, but I thought again of her face, completely closed off to me, and couldn't find it in myself to believe it.

"Better," Sasuke chirped as I completed the katas again. "Almost no mistakes that time."

"I'd hope so," I muttered, thinking with deep dissatisfaction about how many 'playdates' it had taken me to get to that point. With almost all of my time spent with Kaa-chan, I didn't have many chances to train on my own, or else I was certain I'd have gotten the movements down much faster. As it was, I was far behind where I wanted to be.

"You're still slow, though," Sasuke added, seemingly oblivious to my brooding. "We can't start sparring until you're twice as fast at least."

I stared at him. "Twice as fast," I repeated.

He folded his arms. "Twice as fast," he confirmed. "In a real fight, you don't have time to think about your movements. You need to be able to do them right away without thinking about it, and if you do them sloppily, they'll be worthless." He began moving through the same katas I'd just been doing, but at a speed at which I'd never witnessed them. I hadn't realized the mastery he had over his body before, but now, watching his precise, perfectly balanced strikes, the true chasm between us was perfectly clear.

When he finished, he hadn't even broken a sweat. "See?" he said. "So we're gonna work on helping you go through them faster."

"But how?" I asked. "It's not like I can just move faster because you said so."

He smiled, and I was suddenly filled with a deep foreboding. Something about that smile was just a bit too sweet to come from Sasuke…

"Just try it," he chirped. "Go on, start again."

I eyed him with suspicion, but his cheerful expression was giving nothing away. I cleared my throat and began again.

I had scarcely begun when I saw something small hurtling toward me and dodged it, heart pounding out of my chest. "Wh—" I watched the cherry fall harmlessly to the ground with a light 'thump' and turned to Sasuke. He appeared not to have even moved, but the sweet smile had changed to a smirk.

I stared. "Did you… throw a cherry at me?"

"Did you see me throw a cherry at you?" he replied.

My eyes narrowed. "Sasuke…"

He shrugged. "I don't see anybody who could have thrown it. Maybe it fell from the sky," he suggested. "Although, you didn't need to stop. If you'd just gone to the next kata, it still would've missed you."

I could not believe him. "…You little bitch," I whispered in English.

He blinked. "Huh?" he asked.

"Don't worry about it," I said, jaw setting. "Okay, I see what you're doing. Fine. Let's do this." I began the katas again. This time I was prepared for the projectile that came my way. I sped my movement and used the next kata, a forearm block, to strike the cherry and send it flyaway from me. I was confronted by four more cherries after that and managed to avoid them all.

"Good," Sasuke praised, and I resisted the urge to make a very childish face at him.

'How many cherries can he even have on him?'

By the end of the day, I had my answer: more than his pockets should have possibly held.

"Your dancing has improved so much," Kaa-chan noted one day as she guided me through the steps. "Your footwork is so quick!"

"Really?" I asked, feigning surprise. "Huh. Wonder how that happened."

I had known this would happen at some point, but that didn't reduce the shock that jolted through me the first time I opened my door expecting Sasuke to greet me only to see Itachi standing beside him, the pair smiling warmly at me even as my heart sank. 'You agreed that he could be in on it,' I reminded myself.

I felt Kaa-chan's presence creep up behind me. She placed a hand on my back, and I could tell from the way that Itachi straightened his posture that she must not have looked pleased to see him.

"Good morning, Asuka-san, Baika-chan." Itachi bowed at my mother. I automatically returned the gesture.

"Good morning, Itachi-san," I mumbled.

"Good morning, Uchiha-kun," Kaa-chan returned, her voice honey. "I didn't expect you would be joining Sasuke-kun and Baika."

"I just completed a lengthy mission," he explained, his head inclining. "I want to spend as much time with my brother as possible."

I didn't have to look at Kaa-chan to know the exact smile she was giving him. "Isn't that sweet," she cooed. A faintly disconcerted look appeared on Itachi's face.

Sasuke, his spirits as high as they always were when Itachi was around, appeared to miss the tension in this exchange. "Let's go," he urged, grabbing my hand and tugging me from the doorway with a strength that would have surprised me before we'd begun training together.

I staggered after him, turning and waving to my mother, somewhat enjoying the displeasure behind her tight simper. "Seeya, Kaa-chan," I called before we rounded the corner.

It wasn't until we were far away from the house that Itachi cleared his throat. "Sasuke has briefed me on the situation," he said lowly as we wound through bustling streets. "And as long as you are being careful, your secret is safe with me."

I glanced over at him, and though this still wasn't ideal from my perspective, that had been one of my biggest worries regarding his involvement. Some of the pressure released from within my chest, and I nodded.

The hike to the training grounds we frequented was filled with Sasuke's eager chatter. Itachi, by contrast, was companionably silent, and in another life, if my foreknowledge hadn't been bearing down on me with every step, I might have found it pleasant. It was all too soon that we arrived at our training spot, Sasuke running ahead and Itachi chuckling fondly as I followed. I halted at the edge of the clearing, staring down at my feet with hesitation, the shadows of the massive trees above us shifting idly with the breeze.

"Nii-san's the best teacher I know," I heard Sasuke proclaim with pride. "If anybody can make you shinobi-level, it's him."

'Yeah, I figured you'd say that,' I found myself thinking.

My discomfort must have read plain as day on my face, because before I knew it, Itachi was kneeling at my side and placing a gentle hand on my shoulder. I forced myself to meet his eyes, unable to miss the already forming creases beneath them, and he gave me a reassuring smile.

"You have nothing to fear from me," he said earnestly, and I could see so clearly why Sasuke idolized him so much. His father was strong too, but Itachi held such a tenderness inside him, even now as a member of ANBU.

In spite of myself, I softened. "I believe you," I mumbled, breaking our eye contact and staring back down at my feet.

He lingered there another moment, then gave my shoulder a squeeze and stood, hand falling back to his side.

"Sasuke tells me he's been working on your katas," he commented as he stepped back. "Show me."

I pushed aside my nerves more easily than I would have thought and nodded, taking a decisive step away from the shelter of the trees and into the sunlight.

Baika had taken the little bit of freedom I had given her and run with it. During the week, she was mine, as perfect a daughter as ever, serving customers and tidying the café without complaint. Once the weekend hit, however, she was out the door with Sasuke, a quick word of farewell being all I heard from her until evening came and she trudged back through the door, covered in dirt and sweat and dripping exhaustion from every pore, and never with any better excuse for it than, "We played a lot of tag."

I didn't remember tag being such a big part of my childhood, but then, I'd hardly gotten to enjoy any games at all. By the time I was Baika's age, I was already being molded into the perfect weapon, pitted against my peers at every stage. I didn't have the time for games.

It wasn't until spring gave way to a harsh, unyielding summer that Sasuke and I had our first spar, Itachi having deemed my progress more than satisfactory during our previous training session and having offered me my first real tips on how to translate the katas into an effective taijutsu method.

("It will be difficult at first," he had said, "but the katas will serve as a foundation and help you progress with your sparring much faster. I am sure you will be proficient soon."

I had been startled to realize that hearing this from Itachi meant a great deal and had bowed my head to hide the blush that had automatically sprung to my cheeks. When had I become comfortable with Itachi?)

Sasuke scratched out a rough circle with a stick, about five feet in diameter. "In a real spar, s'usually first blood," he stated, walking around his work to inspect it, "but without weapons that doesn't make any sense. So, the person to get pushed outside the circle loses." Apparently satisfied with the boundary he had drawn, he tossed the stick aside. "And no face hits. That'd be a dead giveaway to our okaa-sans."

I nodded. The terms were simple enough and doable from my perspective. I stepped into the circle and prepared the defensive stance from the katas I had down to a science at this point.

Sasuke mirrored the stance. "The match starts now," he said, and promptly leapt at me.

I hadn't expected that. I lurched backwards and just barely avoided the punch he threw at my stomach. I had hardly recovered my balance when he dropped low and lashed out with a leg to try and trip me. I dodged to the left, directly into his next arm strike. His fist connected with my middle and the breath left my body all at once, my back arching forwards reflexively as he shoved me.

"You lose," he said, and sure enough, I had stumbled outside the circle. "Let's go again."

I groaned, trying my best to get my breath back. "In a minute," I wheezed.

"Enemy shinobi won't give you a minute," he barked, but he still allowed me to take a moment to recover, and when I was ready, I nodded, and we began again.

By the end of that day, I hadn't gotten much closer to pushing him out of the circle, but I'd begun to grasp the rhythm of his fighting and was improving at keeping up with Sasuke's moves, translating the katas into dodges and the occasional (usually unsuccessful) strike. It was with some satisfaction with my progress that I finally plopped down beneath the trees on the edge of the training ground, guzzling from a water canteen, Sasuke coming to sit beside me. "You did better than I expected," he said stiltedly, and I could only laugh at his attempt at to praise me for what I was sure was a very poor attempt from his standpoint. He excelled at criticism, but Itachi had told him more than once that he needed to get better at positive reinforcement.

"Thanks, Sasuke," I said, punching his should lightly. "You're a good teacher."

He coughed, clearly uncomfortable. "In any case, I think you'll get the hang of this quicker than the katas."

I ran a hand through my bangs, probably messing them up. "Good," I mumbled. "I'm running out of time to figure this stuff out."

Sasuke paused. "You mean until the next term starts," he said slowly. "So… you're really going ahead with the Academy?"

I nodded with a grimace. "If I can."

There was another pause. "Why does your mom think you can't be a shinobi, anyway?" Sasuke asked, leaning back against a tree.

I sighed. "There's something weird about my chakra. It's complicated."

He blinked. "Your chakra?" He placed his chin in a hand, contemplating. "Then how are you gonna make the Academy happen?"

I took another sip of water. "Getting stronger will help with my chakra problems," I said firmly. "That's how."

Sasuke started ripping up the grass in front of him, deep in thought. "Why d'you wanna be a shinobi so bad?"

I pulled my legs in close to my body. "…I guess you could say there's someone I have to protect," I said, tilting my head up to watch the wind blow through the leaves.

"Protect?" He seemed surprised. "Who, your okaa-san?"

Everyone. "Yeah, Sasuke," I answered instead. "My okaa-san."

I swept the café diligently, eyeing the clock. It was almost time to close up. I glanced over at my mother as she wordlessly counted ryo, making note of the day's earnings in her ledger.

This was the seventh time my mother had retreated into herself, and I had come to accept that every birthday of mine would include this period beforehand. I couldn't even muster the energy to hold it against her this time. I had to just keep living through it.

The bright side of the situation was that I had more time than usual to train with Sasuke, as Kaa-chan truly didn't have the energy to attend to work. Something told me that, were it not for the café, she wouldn't get out of bed at all during these times. As it was, she moved mechanically around the space, attending to everything with exactly the right amount of energy required and no more.

When the clock signified the end of business hours, I set aside my broom and dustpan and strode to the back room where I hung my apron. I slipped off my yukata and pulled on my change of clothes, some civilian-grade joggers and a simple black shirt. It was a light ensemble for the weather, which was as cold as Konoha typically got during the year, but I didn't mind the chill and knew I'd still work up a sweat soon enough. I neatly folded my yukata and stowed it in my rucksack.

"Love you, Kaa-chan," I said aloud as I pushed the door open and turned the sign to 'closed'. She gave me no acknowledgement.

I whistled to myself along the way, idly watching civilians going about their lives. Other kids my age tugged at their mothers' skirts, ran through the streets without a care, even as they collided with adults who chastised them. I couldn't help remembering a time when I'd felt that way, but I couldn't bring myself to mourn over it anymore. I'd shed enough tears over lost innocence.

Sasuke was waiting for me at the training grounds. "Aren't you cold?" he groused, pulling his jacket tighter around himself.

I shrugged. "No." I fished in my bag for my canteen and took a long sip of water, then placed both out of the way as we began our warmup stretches. These stretches always reminded me of yoga, something Eva had enjoyed once upon a time. I was better at it now, though, my young body far stronger and more flexible than hers had ever been.

As I finished stretching and readied myself to begin our customary jog, however, Sasuke thrust something under my nose.

"Happy birthday," he said, his pink cheeks contrasting with the light scowl on his face.

I stared at him. "What did you say?"

Sasuke stared back. "…February 18th, right?" He said slowly. "That's what Okaa-san said, anyway."

I took the package from him, heart racing. The 18th couldn't be here already, could it? But if Mikoto had reminded him… "It IS my birthday," I said slowly. "But then…"

Kaa-chan hadn't come out of it yet.

This was the first time Kaa-chan had missed my birthday.

My grip tightened on the parcel. Numbly, I unwrapped it.

"A set of shuriken?"

Sasuke fidgeted. "Well. Weapons aren't part of our lessons, 'cause they won't help you get physically stronger, but I think you've gotten pretty strong compared to how you started, and I thought you might like to practice your aim. For when you enter the Academy." He watched my expression. "…Did I get the wrong thing?"

I shook my head, a tender smile spreading across my face. "Not at all, Sasuke," I protested. "It's very thoughtful of you."

We continued to train, Sasuke clearly able to see that something was wrong but not pushing the issue. When we finished, we headed in different directions, he to the Uchiha compound and me to my apartment complex. When I arrived home and slipped my shoes off, I paused by the entrance, staring at our closed bedroom door. "Tadaima," I called softly, but there was no answer.

I sighed. Kaa-chan truly was not going to wish me a happy birthday. I trudged into the kitchen to fix myself dinner.

"She'll come out of it soon," I told myself as I ate my bland rice and vegetables alone, and sure enough, two days later, she returned to me, her smile loving and apologetic as she presented me with a home-made birthday cake. Neither of us mentioned that my birthday had already passed and neither of us celebrated the day with the same joy that we had previously. It was, all in all, a sign that Kaa-chan was only slipping further.

Rather than dwelling on this fact, I threw myself into my training with gusto. The Academy would begin its new term in April, and I was determined to be there for it. I started target practice, and it came to me easier than anything else we'd done together had, much to my surprise and Sasuke's apparent pride. I reached personal bests in my kilometer run, my pushup count, even the length of my spars with Sasuke, though I had yet to win.

There was one test I knew I couldn't put off much longer, though. One thing I hadn't attempted in years.

"You want me to—just watch," Sasuke repeated blankly.

"Yeah," I said, focusing on keeping my breaths even. "If—that's okay, I mean."

"I just… don't know what I'm watching for," he replied, scratching the back of his head. "What do you think is gonna happen?"

I rolled my shoulders and set my jaw. "You'll know it if you see it," I said.

This was hardly the explanation he was hoping for, but I was not about to tell him about the last time I'd tried chakra work. I didn't need him worrying any more than he already was.

"What are you even doing this for?" Sasuke asked, shifting uncertainly from foot to foot.

"I need to see if I can control my chakra more easily than the last time I tried," I said as I sat down, rolling a small rock around my hand. I had chosen a stone instead of a leaf because I thought it might not freeze as easily if this went wrong.

"I don't like this," he was saying, but I was focusing too much on what I was about to do to respond with more than an absent hum. He gave me a gentle kick that snapped my attention back to him. "I don't like this," he repeated firmly. "Are you sure this is safe?"

"Totally," I lied. "We've been training for months. There's no way my physical chakra hasn't increased after all this time." I tossed the stone up and caught it, trying to project a relaxed attitude that I did not feel. "So, stop worrying."

"I'm not worrying," Sasuke muttered, sitting across from me with folded arms and a frown. "Just think this is dumb."

I smiled. "I need to see if this is actually working," I said. "There's only a month left until the Academy term begins." I squeezed the stone lightly. "It'll be alright, Sasuke. If I mess this up, we'll take care of it."

Sasuke grumbled but fell quiet enough as I closed my eyes and quieted my mind. I had held to my resolution and hadn't done this since that day alone in the apartment, but the imagery of a cold river came back to me just as quickly and as clearly as it had then. This time, however, I was far more hesitant about the idea of climbing into it. I watched the current swirl lazily before me, my breath coming out in white clouds, my faint dread contrasting with the idyllic winter scene.

As I submerged my fingers in the water, I forced myself to remain calm in spite of knowing how quickly it could go wrong.

'I control this,' I reminded myself, easing my hand further in. 'I control this, it is part of me, not the other way around.'

I stopped when my arm was elbow deep. The air was cooling rapidly the way it had before, but I focused on the way the water licked at my skin and how the current tugged at me.

"You are part of me," I reaffirmed, and opened my eyes, rejoining the world and meeting Sasuke's anxious gaze.

I looked down at myself. The slightest trace of blue tinged my fingernails, but my skin was mostly unchanged, and no ice clung to my body. Carefully, so carefully that it almost seemed silly to me, I told the river where to go.

My chakra slid down my arm in the tiniest increments I could manage, gathering in my palm. To my chagrin, some of it spread across the surface of the stone I held, and traces of frost traveled along its underside. I bit the inside of my cheek, focusing intently. 'Don't you dare,' I willed. The frost spread a little further, but then I watched with relief as it stopped, and I felt the chakra knit together the space between my skin and the rock. Then, my breath still, I turned my palm upside down.

The stone clung to me another moment, then fell to the ground.

A grin traveled across my lips. "I did it," I breathed. I looked up to Sasuke, expecting a similarly joyful expression, but halted at the almost spooked look in his eyes.

"…What did you do to it?" He was staring at the stone like it might jump up and bite him.

"I told you," I said slowly. "This exercise uses chakra to make something stick to your skin."

He looked up at me again, his face grave. "No," he said. "I mean… that ice. What was that? I've never heard of that."

Shit. "Ice?" I asked with the most carefully neutral voice I could muster. "What ice?" I had hoped that he wouldn't have noticed it, especially when I'd reigned it in so quickly.

"You know what ice!" His brows furrowed and he stood. "What did you do?"

I swallowed, heart in my throat. "…I-I… I told you, my chakra is weird," I said half-heartedly. "I'm pretty sure that's just a side-effect." That was what I'd been telling myself, anyway.

Sasuke wasn't buying it, I could tell, but I could also see that he was disconcerted enough not to push it. "Right," he muttered. "Makes sense."

I nodded, ignoring the quiet knowledge that it didn't really make sense at all.

"It's been too long since we've had you over, Baika-chan." Aiko smiled warmly down at me.

"Hi, Bai-chan," Kazuya said shyly.

I smiled back at them both. "I know," I said. "I'm sorry about that. I guess I've just been busy helping Kaa-chan with the café."

Aiko smirked. "Really? Because from what I hear from your mother, you've been spending an awful lot of time with that Uchiha boy."

I took one look at that expression and knew I had to nip this in the bud. "Sasuke? Yeah, I guess we play sometimes. He's a good friend."

She hummed indulgently. "A friend, is it? Well, of course, you're probably too young to think about that sort of thing…"

Kazuya flushed, appearing to know exactly what she was insinuating. "Kaa-chan," he whined. "C'n me and Bai-chan just go and play already?"

She giggled. "Yes, of course, don't let your Kaa-chan keep you from having fun." She tousled his hair. "Go on."

Kazuya huffed and ushered me through the door. "C'mon, let's get to the park 'fore it fills up," he urged, and I obeyed.

We contented ourselves with tag for a while ("How'd you get so fast?" Kazuya panted after our fifth round, and I could only smile in answer). I hadn't played like this in a long time, and I had forgotten how quickly it brought out a childish part of me that I rarely expressed. At the end of the day, I was still seven years old, and I never knew it more than when I was chasing Kazuya around in the sun, screams and peals of laughter ringing out in the air.

When we finally flopped onto the grass, I was slightly winded, and Kazuya was gasping desperately. We lapsed into a comfortable silence for a moment.

"…I missed you," Kazuya mumbled at last, and I glanced up. He was staring up at the sky, looking more somber than I was used to seeing him.

Guilt spread through me. "I guess I haven't been around for a while, huh…"

He turned to look at me. "You don't really like Sasuke more than me, right?"

I frowned. "Is that what you think?" I asked as I sat up.

He turned away. "…I've just missed playing like this," he repeated. "'M glad you're here now."

The guilt intensified. My plans had gotten in the way of my friendship with this boy who I'd known for years. I hadn't thought about how all this would affect Kazu.

And the worst part was, the real reason I was even here wasn't about him. I needed an opportunity to talk to Aiko alone. I needed to ask her something.

"What?"

Aiko's confusion and concern were plain. I tried not to be discouraged by that. I couldn't afford to be, at this point.

"Kaa-chan told me," I said slowly, shifting in the chair Aiko had ushered me towards when I had knocked on her door. "About my spiritual and physical chakra imbalance. And that it was. Concerning."

Aiko nodded. "Yes, I've discussed as much with your mother." Her eyes slid from mine. "To tell you the truth, something like that goes beyond my skill level. I'm better trained in physical care than sophisticated chakra issues like yours" she confessed.

"That's okay," I said quickly, though it might not have been. We were so close to the next Academy term, and I needed to know for sure whether this whole venture had worked. "You could still tell the difference between my physical and spiritual chakra levels, right?"

"Well, yes, I suppose I could," she said. Then, with an unreadable expression, "Is there a reason that your chakra might have changed?"

I fidgeted. "I'm just a lot stronger than I used to be," I hedged, not technically lying but leaving a lot out. And it looked like she could tell by the way she pursed her lips.

"Have you been doing something your mother wouldn't like?"

I shook my head. "Just—please, Aiko-san. Just tell me what you can tell about my chakra." I shifted my weight from foot to foot. "Please," I repeated.

Her frown deepened, but her eyes grew a little softer. I could only imagine what I looked like to her— a desperate kid, hands clutching urgently at my sundress. "…Sit down," she instructed as she rose to her feet, a green glow emanating from her outstretched hands.

I did as she asked and attempted to swallow the trepidation that threatened to take me over. Her chakra slipped into my system as if it had always belonged there, and I couldn't help marveling at the skill it had to take to do that.

There was a pause. "…Well," she said. "There is an imbalance."

"Yes," I agreed patiently.

She cleared her throat. "But… It doesn't seem so massive to me," she stated. "Not that I'm the expert," she added pointedly. "It just… seems like you could maybe work with it. Have you tried?"

Heart pounding, I leaned forward. "Well, actually," I began.

Just then, a knock at the door interrupted me, and as I instinctually reached out with my chakra sense, I froze. I knew that signature better than any in the world.

If Aiko noticed the way my posture collapsed in on itself, she didn't acknowledge it. The green glow receded, she rose to her feet and calmly left the kitchen. I heard her footsteps grow fainter as she disappeared into the next room. I heard her open the door.

"Asuka-san," her muffled voice greeted. "What brings you here? Kazuya was going to walk Baika home in a few moments."

"Ah, forgive me, I was just nearby and thought I'd grab her while I was here," Kaa-chan's syrup-slick voice replied. "You see, I…"

I tuned out the ensuing conversation as I wracked my brain. Could Kaa-chan have felt Aiko use her chakra? I had no idea how her sensory abilities were. If they were anything like mine, though, it would have lit up her senses like a beacon. And if I knew Kaa-chan, she would know something was going on.

The voices grew closer to me. I did not move as Kaa-chan and Aiko entered the kitchen.

"Blossom," my sweet, warm, loving mother called to me. "I'm here for you."

I finally turned my head to face her and it only took one glance to see that she knew.

My head, heavy, nodded once. I felt the crushing weight of all of my secrecy pressing down on my shoulders, a dam threatening to break and let all of the consequences I had been dodging for so long rain down and drown me.

She continued speaking. "I have some things I want to ask Aiko about really quickly," she said. "Why don't you play a little longer with Kazuya."

I nodded again, my tongue lead in my mouth.

She smiled.

We didn't speak the whole walk home. Kaa-chan's demeanor was as perfectly pleasant as it always was in public. She waved to several people on the way, a genial smile on her face, but her hand held mine in a vice grip that told me exactly how she really felt. If I had any doubts that I was in trouble before, I had none now.

Our apartment wasn't far from Aiko's, really. It was, perhaps, a ten-minute walk. Even so, the distance currently seemed insurmountable, the journey passing at an agonizingly slow pace.

When we did finally enter our home, Kaa-chan and I changed out our shoes for our house slippers in silence. She strode toward the kitchen, and she didn't need to say anything for me to understand that I was to follow.

She sat at the kitchen table, and I sat across from her, placing my hands in my lap and trying not to fidget.

"Aiko has told me," she began softly, "that she thinks you may have been playing around with your chakra."

I swallowed. "…I've just gotten a lot stronger in the last year," I said, "and I think—"

"This is not about what you think," she said sharply, and I fell silent, closing my eyes. She took a deep breath. "I told you what could happen, Baika. I told you why you were not to play around with this. You could have gotten seriously hurt! You could have hurt someone—" She cut herself off and I looked back up.

"Hurt someone else?" I asked incredulously. What about my chakra could possibly do that?

Kaa-chan continued without answering. "I just can't believe you right now," she snapped. "I'm assuming this is REALLY why you've been spending so much time with Sasuke? Well, that ends now."

My jaw dropped. "Kaa-chan—"

"In fact, since it's clear that I CANNOT trust you, you are not to go ANYWHERE without me from here on. Is that clear?" She was glaring at me now, her usual composure slipping as she gripped the table so tightly the wood creaked, but I wasn't intimidated anymore. I couldn't be, because I had worked too hard for this.

I stood, my chair skittering behind me across the floor. "It doesn't matter," I ground out. "Because I'm not going to stop. I'll keep finding ways to become a ninja, Kaa-chan. I'm not delicate anymore! I can use my chakra now."

Kaa-chan's anger faded, a slight pallor coming to her complexion. "…You've tried?" she whispered.

I nodded firmly. "And succeeded."

Kaa-chan exhaled tremulously and pinched the bridge of her nose. Her blond hair fell in her face, and I was reminded again of how young she was—scarcely older than I had been, in another life— as I watched her struggle to calm herself. Finally, her hand dropped to her lap, and she looked up, gray eyes narrowed.

"You're really determined to do this."

I nodded again.

She sighed. "…I would rather you do this safely and under supervision than secretly and without an adult," she admitted begrudgingly.

My heart leapt, my mouth opened, and I started to speak, but she cut me off with a single raised finger.

"I will allow you to attend the Academy IF you promise me not to do unsupervised chakra work anymore," she said. "And you'd better work your hardest, because if I catch you slacking with this opportunity, you'd best bet you're going to be out of there."

I was already flinging my arms around her neck, eyes screwed up tightly to hold in tears. "Thank you, Kaa-chan," I whispered, unable to speak at full volume. "Thank you."

She wrapped her arms around me in return and gave only another shaky sigh in answer.

I really was weak when it came to her.

I had worked so hard and planned so extensively for this moment. I had toiled seemingly without end, been knocked down time and time again, been dragged through the mud both literally and figuratively, and it had all paid off, all had led me to this moment.

And now, standing at the entrance to the academy yard, watching the other children stream toward the doors, bickering and teasing and laughing and hollering with a gaiety that did not suit the killer's lifestyle they were entering into, I was frozen in place. My head spun with the gravity of my own actions and what exactly I had trained so hard for. Until this moment, I had been so focused on bringing up my strength that I hadn't really prepared myself for what would come next. Now, however, I felt it acutely; when I started walking forward, followed after these children, my classmates, there would be no turning back from this path.

And I wasn't ready. How could I be?

Would these children still be laughing if they knew what I knew? Or would they turn tail and run home to their families where children belonged? I knew the answer. They were only doing this because they still believed it could be honorable, that they could build happiness for themselves.

I held no such delusions.

What kind of person would I be, to be fully aware of the grim reality that awaited me ahead, and to still walk straight into it?

Something brushed my arm and I jumped, snapping from my thought spiral to see Sasuke's proud grin at my side.

"Ready, Baika?" he asked.

I looked into his eyes and saw naivete, saw a young boy who deserved to be protected. Something uncoiled and settled itself within me, and once more, I knew what to do.

"Ready," I said, and took a step forward.

AN: Hey everyone! Firstly, I would like to say that I intended to finish this chapter much sooner but was delayed because I moved and began a (socially distanced) master's program. For that reason, updates may be relatively slow in the future as well, but I'm aiming to post a chapter each month.

Secondly, I wanted to thank you for the positive response! It means so much to hear that you're enjoying this story. Special thanks to AilahtaN, WestOfTheGlass, nagi92, Abdur Rauf Aymaan, chloemika, SnowCatt, Saria Skye, A little stupid, and guests for reviewing! Your feedback is what keeps me writing.