Chapter Eighteen

In Search of Lost Time

Through the rain and the tears he almost didn't believe she was real. She was older than he remembered. Taller. More beautiful.

But those eyes…

There was no question about it.

"I-I'm sorry…do I know you?"

Naruto's tears ceased immediately as Ino's expression squared on him and the echo of his voice finally reached his ears.

It was not his voice at all.

With a breath that returned him to reality he wiped his eyes with his sleeve. He knew this was a possibility. He knew he could see her again during this visit.

And he knew that he wouldn't be able to tell her the truth.

But now that the time had come…

Slowly and painfully he swallowed the heart that had jumped up into his throat.

"S-sorry," he muttered, glancing down at the flowers in his hand. "I…I got these from Yamanaka Flowers, and…your mother…um…"

Ino's face softened into an awkward smile.

"Jeez…I'm sorry about that. She's always blabbing about me…" She let out a small laugh. "It's so embarrassing."

Her blue eyes turned to Naruto's hand, and they did the last thing he would have expected them to do.

They saddened.

"Purple stargazers," she said. "They're my favourite."

Naruto looked to her soft smile before turning away once again.

"Yeah…your mother told me."

Ino turned to meet his eyes and the two of them shared a look and a smile. Naruto, finally, was close to her once again; the girl who was unconditionally kind to him; the girl who was the first friend he had ever had; and though it was such a short time they spent together, the memory of her smiling face under the starry sky had carried him through the past five years.

But now, behind the brown in his eyes and the rain that filled them, she seemed farther away than ever.

Suddenly Ino shifted.

"I'm sorry," she said. "You're here for the memorial."

"Oh, it's fine!" Naruto protested, but Ino took a few steps back anyway.

But she did not go.

Naruto, bowing slightly, moved over to the memorial. It was a giant bronze statue molded into the shape of a flame. The foot of the statue was dressed in many flowers, some in bouquets, some in wreaths, and some dancing in the rain by themselves; but though the day in Konoha was wet and cold, Naruto only felt warmth coming from it—especially from the two irises that Ino had just placed down.

A moment later he rose to his feet. It was a strange feeling inside of him: he had come to the graveyard to pay his respects to his parents, to remember the past.

And yet, here was a part of that past standing behind him.

A part that he had found once again.

Joy; sadness; relief; pain; confusion; Naruto felt it all as he stood in front of the memorial, rain beating down on him from the grey skies above.

As Ino spoke, though, all of it vanished, the sound of her voice the only thing that flowed through him.

"If you don't mind my asking…who are they for?"

Naruto saw that Ino's eye pointed to the purple stargazers he had laid at the foot of the flame.

"Oh…um…my parents."

"Oh…" Naruto was unsure why, but Ino was sad once again.

A moment later, though, she continued.

"You're a civilian, aren't you?"

Naruto could not hide the surprise on his face.

"You mean…you haven't heard…?"

Ino mirrored his expression.

"Heard? Heard what?"

Naruto, after his shock wore off, gave Ino the briefest explanation he could. He wasn't interested in lying to her any more than he had to; but the disguise, as much as he wished otherwise, was necessary.

When he finished the story, Ino was left with a mix of confusion and sadness on her face.

"Wow…" Her eyes turned to the ground. "I'm so sorry…"

"Thanks," Naruto said softly. "But…I'm surprised. It seems like everyone in the village knew…"

"Well, the ninja do tend to tell each other things."

Her words hung in the rain for a moment before Naruto fully processed them. As he did, he felt his eyes widen; not at what Ino said, but rather the tone she said it in.

Detached, as if she was talking about other people.

Almost as if…

"You're…you're not a ninja…"

Ino turned to back to him with a smile. It seemed to him as though there was a hint of pain in it.

"No…I'm not."

It took everything Naruto had to not blow his cover.

It felt to him as though a million questions shot across his mind at once; in the end though, he found that they all boiled down to one:

What happened to her?

He was not leaving here without the answer.

"I thought…I thought everyone in Konoha was a ninja."

Her eyes slowly moved away from his. Her umbrella drooped ever so slightly.

"Everyone has some basic training, but…"

"But didn't you want to be one?"

The words nearly burst out of Naruto's mouth by themselves, but once again he fought to keep them in check. It was another moment of pouring rain and the smell of wet flowers before, much to his surprise, Ino continued of her own volition.

"When…when I was younger…I was in the Ninja Academy. I wanted to be a ninja, but…when I was 10, Konoha was attacked, and…nothing's been the same since then…"

Naruto tried his best not to hear the emotion in her voice, but it was too apparent to ignore.

"I'm sorry," he began, "if it's not my place, but…who were those flowers for?"

Ino's eyes remained on the ground, and they were not offended nor surprised by the question.

They did, however, begin to carry a few tears. She sniffled them back before slowly letting them out.

"My…my dad…"

Naruto's heart dropped. Inoichi Yamanaka? Was he…?

"After Konoha was attacked…the new Hokage took over. He…he turned this village into a dark place. Everything before then seemed so bright, but everything since…it's like it hasn't stopped raining."

The drops that hit the umbrellas covered the sound of her tears.

"My dad…he felt the same way…so he tried to stand up to the Hokage, but…they threw him in prison…I haven't seen him in four years…"

Ino's words died in the rain, the dying petals of her voice the only things that reached Naruto. All he wanted to do was throw up or to hug her tightly, and yet he could not bring himself to do either one.

What he did instead was allow the pit of despair in his stomach to grow.

It told him that he should have stayed.

"I'm so sorry," he said with a shaking voice. "I'm so sorry…"

Slowly but surely, Ino composed herself

"I'm sorry," she said, sniffling. "I shouldn't have lost myself …"

Naruto shook his head. "No…it's okay…"

"Well…that's why I'm not a ninja. I didn't want to get involved in a world like that…"

"Yeah…I get it…"

It was true. Not once five years ago did he see her eyes as heavy as they were now.

The quiet of the rain soon took over once again, and though it felt as though Ino's story had finished, neither of them moved their feet.

Ino turned her eyes to the base of the flame statue that stood next to Naruto. In a second, he did so as well, trying to pick out what it was she was looking at. He found nothing…

Until he landed upon the two flowers she had put down.

"There…there are two," he said.

Finally, she smiled once again.

"Around the same time we were attacked…I made a friend."

Naruto's heart, as it did when he first laid eyes on her, jumped back into his throat.

"He was a strange boy. He had no memories," she continued. "I think he was nervous because of that. He was kind of shy, kind of quiet…but I really liked that about him. He wasn't like everyone in this village. He wasn't focused on being a ninja and fighting and…I though that was nice.

For the first time Naruto found himself wishing that Ino would stop talking.

She turned to the trees beyond the graveyard, and immediately he saw a look in her eyes that he recognized; they were searching for something.

The time that had long since gone by.

"After the attack, we spent a week together while the village rebuilt itself, but even though it was only a week…it felt like a year. It was the best time of my life."

Slowly, slowly, slowly…

The tears welled to Naruto's eyes.

"But…he was an outsider, and afterwards, everyone blamed him for the attack. Then the new Hokage took him from us, and then…he ran away."

Perhaps if Ino had noticed the silent streams rolling down Naruto's cheeks, she would have stopped. But as it were, her blue eyes were still caught in the rain, trying to find the past.

A past that she could no longer see.

A past that she could only remember.

"I know it's crazy…I know it wasn't long, but…"

The rain softened with her voice.

"I miss him…"

In the following quiet, Ino heard sobs. She turned to Naruto. He shook with his tears, fists clenched, as the pain, ever-expanding inside of him, finally reached his voice as he tried to speak.

"I…I'm sure…I'm sure…he's out there somewhere…"

"Y-Yui…"

Ino watched him in surprise, confused as to why she felt so strongly about a stranger's story.

If only…

With a deep breath Naruto calmed his tears and did his best to look Ino in the eye. Even through the rain, the blue of the ocean called out to him.

If only they were on the sea.

If only they were outside these walls…

"I'm sure he's thinking about you, too."

Ino's face slowly warmed into a smile.

"Yeah…Thank you, Yui. I'm glad I got to talk to you."

Naruto did his best to halt his emotions for a moment, trying hard to force a smile as Ino bowed and said goodbye. She slowly turned away and headed back to the entrance of the graveyard, and he watched her long blonde hair shift in the breeze under her umbrella.

He waited until she was far enough away to collapse to his knees, umbrella dropping to the ground. The rain seemed only harder.

The clouds only darker.

~XVIII~

The night had fallen by the time Naruto returned to the hotel room. When he arrived, he noticed that Itachi was already there. The Uchiha, who had tied his new hair into a loose ponytail much like the one he usually wore, sat facing the window from his bed, wiping his sword down with a towel. He turned as Naruto came in.

"How was your—?"

Naruto's first action was to plop down on his bed, cloak and hair still wet.

"Day…"

An awkward silence hung in the room for a moment as Naruto removed his cloak and threw it to the ground before bringing his hands up to his face. He felt the urge to cry, but his tears had all fallen already.

"You know," Itachi said, "you shouldn't fall asleep with wet hair."

Naruto did not respond. Itachi, with a blank expression, returned to his sword.

"You found something," he said. "What was it?"

The sheets of Naruto's bed ruffled as he turned to the wall.

"Someone…I thought I lost…"

"I see…that girl you told me about?"

Naruto's sniffle was enough of an answer. Itachi did not press any further.

He didn't need to.

"All this time…all this time I was away…whenever I thought about this place…it was only a painful memory…but…"

First Sakura.

Then Shikamaru.

Now Ino.

There was a reality here for the people he left behind.

"What did she say?" Itachi asked, turning to him.

Naruto took a deep breath before speaking.

"She…decided not to become a ninja…her father's in prison…"

Itachi did not respond. Of course he knew already that there was something wrong with Danzo's village, but…

To see it affect real people…

"It's all my fault…it's all my fault…"

Itachi focused his eyes out the window. The Konoha night was darker than usual. The rain had stopped, and the clouds had, for the most part, cleared; but the warm lights of the village were no where to be found.

He looked to the sky. The stars were bright this evening.

He let out a breath.

"Don't be arrogant, Naruto."

Naruto turned to him.

"What?"

Itachi began wiping his sword once again. "Don't think that if you would have stayed here that things would have turned out differently. Her father may still have wound up in prison. She may still have decided not to become a ninja."

Naruto, though he knew Itachi's words to be, was upset by them.

"How can you say that? How do you know?"

"I don't. But the fact is that Danzo still would have been Hokage…"

He turned to Naruto, green eyes firm.

"And you may have been dead by now."

Naruto's eyes widened for a moment as Itachi's words sunk in. He had nearly forgotten that he left for a reason. The villagers wanted him dead. Danzo wanted him locked up.

That was no way to live.

But still…

"Itachi, I…I ran away…she was my first friend…she was so kind to me…"

He raised an arm to his eyes to cover the tears that had begun to flow again.

"And I ran away…"

For a moment the only sound in the room was Naruto's sobs. As they began to die down, Itachi began to hear voices through the window from the street below. Evening chatter, a bit of laughter, a drunken yell.

This place still had some life in it, after all.

He shifted his eyes back around to Naruto, who had removed his arm from his tear-soaked eyes. They now looked to the ceiling.

Naruto himself knew what he was doing. It was the same thing Itachi had always done. The same thing Ino did today.

When he was a boy, he wondered if his eyes would look like this when he was older. He was determined not to allow it to happen, but…

Here he was, trying to see beyond the ceiling.

Here he was, trying to see through the clouds.

Here he was, trying to find the past.

"I understand, Naruto…"

He did not move his eyes as Itachi spoke.

"I understand what you're feeling. It's hard to leave the past behind. There's a part of you in it…a part of you that you can't let go of…"

Naruto turned to him.

"Then—!"

"I'm not telling you to forget it, but…wishing it could return…"

Itachi finally finished with his sword and placed it beside himself on his bed. It was unsheathed, and he stared at it with longing eyes.

Naruto was certain that Itachi saw something in its reflection.

"All you're doing is searching for lost time…time that won't ever come back."

The room was still.

Eventually, Naruto turned away from Itachi.

"I'm…I'm tied to so many things…Uzushio…Konoha…that seaside village…even you…"

Itachi turned to him but could not see his eyes.

"Even myself…"

There was quiet for a moment before Naruto continued.

"I feel like there's so much…so much that I need to do… that I should have done, but…I don't know where to start…"

Itachi got up for his sword sheath that hung on his cloak by the closet.

"Once again, there seems to only be one question that you need to ask yourself: what do you want to do?"

The Uchiha returned to his seat and sheathed his sword, leaning it against his bed. Finally he turned around to Naruto's answer.

"I want to sleep."

Itachi sighed.

"Then sleep…"

Once more he turned back to the window.

"And hopefully, the sun will rise tomorrow."

Neither of them spoke again before they shut their eyes. Naruto, though, had a single thought blaring loud in his head:

Tsunade was right—it was more painful to know.

Sleep did not come as easily as he thought it would. The silence was deafening, yes, but he may have been able to handle that if the curtains by the window had been closed.

The stars in the night sky, dancing like flowers, shone in through the window.

They were too bright for him.

A psychological chapter, but an important one. I hope you enjoyed reading it as much as I did writing it.

As always, thanks for all the support (reviews, favourites, follows, etc.) It really means a lot.