Hey, Dark Gothic Lolita here!

I am soooo close to not posting this on a Monday! I currently have one arm due to a new hobby that I have taken up, so this will be the shortest AN from me. I can't type with one hand, it's too long. Thankfully this chapter was already done. Unfortunately, I haven't triple checked for errors. I'll probably do that when my arm is out of my cast.

ENJOY!

Forgetting to remember

Chapter three

The first time that Juvia had come knocking at his door, he genuinely didn't put two and two together. He thought nothing of it when she said that she remembered the feeling of his snow. They had fought against one another in the war that Acnologia and Zeref had ultimately started. Maybe she couldn't remember him much, but remembered his magic.

It was the second time that they had met when he finally realised what she was talking about, and he only realised it the moment he had left. Juvia remembered things from her childhood. He was roughly 3 years older than her and they had met when he had once lived in Fiore.

His eyes widened as he stared at his ceiling. She was the one who had previously brought the rain everywhere. She was like him. He had the snow. Everywhere he went, he wasn't welcomed. He stayed away from all the residential areas, away from crowds. People constantly froze whenever he was around.

But there was that one girl who spoke in the third person. She carried around a teru teru bozu doll everywhere she went. He didn't actually know why he wasn't able to remember her. She was his first friend. He felt her rain falling on him through his snow and they had made a pact to become the best of friends.

They had met up everyday for the better part of two months. He had been skeptical at first, knowing that she would leave him one day, but he got comfortable. He relaxed and let his guard down, let down all his walls. Thinking back to it, he knew his issue was that he had a childish crush on her. Being 8 years old, he obviously didn't know what those feelings were, but it was so embarrassing to look back at it and realise that his 8 year old self was basically in love with Juvia.

But one day, she didn't meet him like she said she would. He was left alone on the hill where they had always been playing with their magic. They taught each other many different things and Invel had finally found someone he wanted to open up to. Until she left him. He thought maybe she was sick, but when he went down to her uncle's house and asked him, he just said in passing that he sent her away. That he could no longer look after her.

At the time, if he was older and a bit more rational, he would have realised that the man didn't look good. He was practically greying. The man was dying and all he cared about was how his friend was gone. How she broke her promise to him and left him all alone.

"Lluvia," he mumbled to himself. He snickered a little bit. She wasn't able to say her Js, even at that age. It was a speech impediment and she had clearly overcome it. It made him smile that his friend was back within arms reach.

That smile was instantly wiped off when he realised his actions. He sat up, his heart racing as his eyes were wide. He had almost had her murdered. He almost turned her mind into mush before he almost made her kill her guild mate and in turn, he almost got Gray to kill her too.

"I just feel like I can trust you."

He sagged, running a tired hand on his tired face as he sighed to himself. It had taken him many years to think rationally about Juvia's sudden departure and by that time, Zeref had already taken him under his wing to be his protégés. Then he just blocked her out of his mind, never wanting to deal with girls again in his life. He knew all about his and Mavis' relationship and he hated it. He didn't understand love and he didn't want to. You were always going to be let down anyway, so why bother to chase after someone who didn't want you? It was much easier to just live for yourself.

But still, he felt the guilt was eating at him. He didn't know what he would have done to himself if he had found out after her death that she was the friend he had sworn he would have seen one day. He also started to question Zeref's past actions a lot more. He was blinded by the kindness that the man had shown to him and he had decided that he would go to the moon and back for him as a form of gratitude. He was ready to help him execute his lover and rid the world of all the humans.

But Juvia was a human, the first human who had been his friend long before Zeref had found him. They hung out everyday together and learned to trust one another. Because he became bitter and heartless, he let someone like Zeref into his life and trusted him instead. He almost became like him.

He wondered if Juvia would accept him as the friend she had once known.

His eyes widened slightly when he could feel her presence within his snow. Why she was seeking him out this time, he didn't know, but he could almost feel her walking towards his house with some purpose. She wasn't letting the blizzard bother her this time and he could almost feel himself shake with anticipation. What was this going to be about? Had they found a way to retrieve all of her lost memories and she was coming to let him know? Or had someone finally told her about his atrocities? Maybe now she'll understand why he was all alone, basking in some atonement.

He had the door open long before she got to it and when she did, she pushed him out of the way, a turbulent look on her face. Invel felt himself gulp because everyone knew that hell hath no fury like a woman scorned. Okay, so someone definitely told her about what he did. It was to be expected. He thought that maybe she wouldn't tell anyone about their little meetings, but he clearly left his scent around Juvia that day that they clashed on their jobs. She must have been there with Zeref's brother.

"Juvia-"

"Why?"

Her name died on his lips as he pondered what to say. He wasn't a man made from excuses, so therefore he had none. He didn't know what to say to alleviate the situation and he wondered if he even deserved being able to do so. This was all on him, his transgressions coming out to the light. He really didn't know what to tell her. Before he knew it, she was speaking again.

"Why did you take my memories from me?"

Her voice cracked at the end and Invel felt sick. He was going to throw up a storm at the fact that he had made Juvia upset. How dare he make the one person who he had cared about cry? He was never going to be able to look her in the eyes again after this. If she didn't forgive him, he wouldn't even blame her. He no longer has any right in telling Juvia the reason why she remembered him from her childhood.

"I-I was following orders..."

It was a very weak and very shitty response, but that's all he could say. The worst part was, it was true. He had been following orders to wipe out any member of Fairy Tail he came across. The difference was that he had no use for Juvia, not when Gray had such dark magic bubbling under his skin. If he was able to control him, he would have been a great asset for Zeref.

Invel almost grunted in frustration. Even with that fool being reincarnated, he was still somehow ruining his life.

"No, that's not right. I chose to follow him blindly, not once questioning his motives. I was just as excited for the war as he was and this is what I deserve."

He watched as Juvia looked up at him with nothing but pity in her eyes and he tore his gaze away. He didn't want nor need her pity, but it was very telling if she had to look at him like that.

"So...you were going to have me killed?"

Invel hesitated, but nodded and he heard her take a sharp breath. "You messed with my mind and got me to either kill myself or kill my guild mate and now I have retrograde amnesia. The least you could do is fix me. Please."

Her eyes now showed some sort of cross between sadness and hope. He decided that he would rather have her look at him with pity instead of those eyes. He was reminded of how beautiful she looked, but he couldn't gaze upon her. Shame crawled through his body, ready to swallow him from the inside out and he licked his lips to wet the dryness that had formed.

"I can't. I created that spell to destroy a person's mind, not ever fixing it. I never thought that I would have to. I'm...sorry."

Juvia leaned back and away from him, clearly disappointed with his answer. He knew that this would definitely be a bad time to tell her that he remembered her. He remembered the fun they used to have together and the fact that he may have been harbouring his little crush on her after all this time. Not like he deserved her anyway.

"I'm sorry," he managed to choke out again and he watched as Juvia expressed her clear surprise before shrugging and her shoulders with a small smile. How she could even smile in such a situation was beyond him. He thought she was coming to slap him for sure.

"It's okay I guess. You were just doing what you were told. I can't think you're inherently evil when you're trying to change your ways and you've just apologised to me. Thank you."

Invel was floored and he could almost his body temperature rise up to an uncomfortable state. Oh. He's blushing.

"I hear there's a memory mage in your guild. Can't he help you?"

"He said it's not due to magic...but it actually is, isn't it?! This isn't because of some trauma to the head like they all thought, this is because your magic went wrong! Oh my gosh, I think I might be able to get my memories back!"

Her happiness was contagious and relief spread through his body. He could only smile slightly, happy that at least there would be someone who can clean up his mistake. Never again would he try something like this.

In her happiness, Juvia ended up jumping forward and hugging Invel close. He stiffened. Her arms were wrapped around him, her head resting on his chest. She smelled of the ocean sea breeze and jasmine, a scent that made him nostalgic. She had never changed and that was enough for him to throw his own arms around her. She felt a lot different to when she was five for obvious reasons. She was a woman now and that made him blush even harder than before.

He heard her giggle as she pulled her head away from him and she looked up with those bright azure eyes of hers. "I honestly didn't think that you were going to hug me back. We're making progress."

She burst out laughing when he pushed her away in annoyance, his face bright red now. He had never been so close to a woman before, opting to keep the hell away from them. In all honesty, he never really got close to anyone who wasn't Zeref. All the others, he stayed clear from. Irene was a powerful woman but opted to wander around, while Augustus was in his own chambers or with Brandish. Invel didn't need anyone.

Or so he thought. Not that he needed her, but he wanted Juvia. It was just a shame that he ruined things with her before anything could take place. The thought of being with someone had never crossed his mind until now. Being lonely by choice was great. Being lonely for atonement was not the same.

Even though Juvia had forgiven him, he knew that nothing would come out of it. Why would there be anything? He could never have the audacity to almost ruin her life and then want to be a permanent figure in it. Just the thought it made the bile rise up from his stomach. It also didn't help to know that she would most probably run after Gray again and that hurt him more than anything.

"I should go and let Mest know that he can help me."

Invel raised an eyebrow. "Won't that raise suspicion? People may put two and two together and realise that you have come to see me in regards to Kami knows what."

Juvia waved her hand dismissively. "Don't worry about that, there's no issues there. Besides, Lucy-chan and Natsu can vouch for me. You were near me without injuring me, so that should be fine. I'll explain myself if they nag me for answers, but I'll keep my mouth closed if they don't bother me."

Invel sighed, nodding his head. She seemed to have a plan on how to get over that obstacle, not like she cared much for it anyway. Just why was she so forgiving? Why was she not angrier with him?

She stepped away from him and Invel went to open the door and he escorted her out. He stopped the snow for her and she paused at the door before turning around with a smile on her face. It was minuscule, but Invel's eyes widened at just how beautiful and ethereal she looked. The snow in the background was so white, it almost shone behind her. She was like an angel. One that he didn't deserve.

"You should join the guild, we would love to have you."

Invel shook his head. There was no way that he could join a guild that he actively wanted to destroy in the war. Even worse, he harmed someone so important to him from that said guild and here she was, offering him a place as if he deserved it. No, he couldn't take up such hospitality.

"I can't, I have some more atoning to do. Besides, just because you would love to have me there doesn't mean that others would necessarily want me there."

Juvia sighed but still kept the smile up. "Well, the offer still stands. Whenever you're ready, you can join us. Have a good day."

Invel watched as she left, making sure she was out of sight before closing the door again. He sighed in relief. Everything that he had done up until this point was slowly unravelling due to him remembering Juvia. She didn't seem to remember him even when they were fighting, so at least it wasn't just him. His feelings had almost let loose and he had to tell himself that things were no longer the same. He wasn't the same Invel and she wasn't the same Juvia. They might not get along as they are now.

Invel thought about the few times that he had gone out and seen Zeref with Mavis, only they weren't the same. Ankhseram had granted the both of them a new life and they were no longer mages. They were regular everyday civilians who were book crazy apparently.

Invel thought it was hardly fair. Zeref caused all these issues and he's the one who gets granted a new life? A fresh start? While all his devout followers suffered the consequences of his damn actions? Invel let out a shaky sigh, letting go of his anger. It had been a long time since he got riled up, he always had to stay cool and collected. Getting angry wasn't his style and he tried his best to let go.

Moving over to the kitchen to cook, he noticed that he didn't have anything in his fridge. He almost had the mind to just sleep it off, but he did need to buy a few things. He hoped he wouldn't run into Juvia though. Every time he saw her, he opened up a little more each time.

He glanced over at the coat that he used to wear when he was a general. It had been a gift from Zeref himself when he had proven his loyalty to him. He cut his eyes from it and stepped out of the house in a leather jacket. He had changed a fair bit and he knew that many people from Zeref's army would be surprised to see him dressed this way. His hair was in a high ponytail and his colour scheme was now black. Almost as if he were mourning his old life.

Fiore was his original home, which is why he had moved back. There was nothing keeping him in Alvarez anymore, so he saw no need to still be there. Fiore would be easier to blend in with the crowd as it was just the council who knew about his transgressions. He had been okay with imprisonment, but they had felt like there was no need for that.

He had started his life anew in Alvarez when Zeref had come for him. He told him that had heard of the land buried in snow and that he would like to adopt him. It was bittersweet at the time, but he was angry with Juvia for leaving him and happy that someone wanted him. He never did process that period of time properly.

He did everything possible to try and forget about Juvia, and it had worked for the most part. She had been long forgotten, Fiore was long forgotten too. He knew deep down that Juvia was always at the back of his mind, but he had done everything possible to forget about her and he believed he really had forgotten her.

Until she came like a whirlwind in all her blue haired glory. Her hairstyle was even different from how he remembered it and he thought that of course it would. It's not like she would look the exact same. Even he looked different and now he was wearing glasses.

"I hate this trip down memory lane," he mumbled to himself.

He felt someone approaching and that person was NOT who he wanted it to be. Instead, he increased the amount of snow that was hammering down outside. He was the last person he wanted to see.

But alas, the idiot was finally at his doorstep and he groaned in annoyance when he heard the knock on the door.

"Let me in you bastard, I know you're home."

He ripped open the door and Gray stood there with a smug look. He rolled his eyes and stepped aside for him to come in. The ice make mage made his way in, taking his own shoes off at the genkan.

"Nice place you got here. Also, nice blizzard."

Invel wasn't in the mood. "Yeah, it's there to keep idiots out."

"Unfortunately, Natsu can still make his way through. He's pretty persistent like that."

Invel wasn't at all amused. If he had come all this way to annoy him, he was going to jam so much snow into his mouth, he would be shitting snow for weeks.

"What. Do. You. Want?" He ground out. Gray's eyes seemed to light up in pure delight as Invel was slowly losing his patience. The snow mage had to take the time to calm himself down. There was no use getting worked up and giving Gray the satisfaction.

"I came to give you an invitation to join our guild. Come on, you know you want to."

Invel couldn't even say he was surprised. He wasn't sure if Juvia had gone blabbing to him about their little meetups, but he hadn't heard from her in almost two months now. He had just assumed that she had gotten her memory back and proceeded to forget all about him, which was extremely ironic. He also wouldn't put it past her. She only seeked him out because of some past connection that she felt when she had amnesia. With her memories back, the connection was severed.

"I don't want to," he replied using a monotonous tone.

Gray gave him a flat look, as if he knew that he was lying. He sighed and tried again. "Natsu told me how you were with Juvia on the last job that they went on and she's been banned from coming to see you as punishment for helping Natsu steal an S class job. The four of them have to be watched by one of the S class mages at all times. Her time being grounded has almost come to an end."

Invel felt his heart thump at the thought of Juvia still trying to think about him while she was basically grounded. He smirked at the idea of her being stuck at Fairy Tail for an even longer period of time. That was what got her into that mess in the first place. She was bored and ended up taking a job she wasn't supposed to, and now she's most probably bored again.

"I knew she was bored and wanted to go on a job, but I hadn't realised that she wasn't an S class mage at the time. She told me was one."

Gray shrugged. "Yeah, was. Back when she was at Phantom Lord and she was running off of those memories. She joined our guild and hasn't been made one yet. After all, our original S class mage trials got interrupted. Who knows, maybe she would have been reinstated as one again. She is far from weak."

Invel sighed and nodded, moving over to the fridge. He waved over at the seat for Gray to sit down, which he did. Invel was surprised that they were being civil with one another, talking as if they were old friends who were catching up. He lifted up the carton of juice and Gray nodded, accepting the drink.

"So what, she told you of our meetings and tried to get you to get me to join the guild? If I join, will it put an end to her incessant nagging?"

Gray chuckled before taking a sip. "There've been loads of complaints from the residents here, talking about extreme cold and snow. Now, this place used to be pretty nice and never had snow, not even in winter. I thought to myself that there could only be one reason why there's snow. You're here. So naturally, I've come to ask you to join the guild. And if not, at least stop with the excessive snow, moron."

The man raised an eyebrow, as if trying to spot a lie in his story. He also ignored being called a 'moron' for the sake of not wanting to fight. It did seem to make sense. It was an entire shame that the town he had picked never suffered any cold weather and had basically snitched on him and his location. The only time they got peace was probably when he was on a job, and they didn't last very long because they weren't difficult.

"If I join...can I still live here?"

Gray nodded. "Yeah dude, you can. You're close enough to the guild without looking like you're overly involved with us. Like I said, you just gotta stop making it snow."

Invel wanted to tell him that the snow was the only thing that stayed by his side and kept him safe. Getting rid of the snow was like getting rid of a part of him. He wasn't too sure that he could agree to that.

But the thought of getting to see Juvia everyday, even if it was from afar, that was now enough for him to want her more than the snow. He couldn't believe himself, he was actually giving in. Juvia had finally won, but he wouldn't give that satisfaction to Gray. He shrugged his shoulders.

"I'll think about it." He had more important things to talk about, but didn't really know how to bring it up. Gray seemed to sense it and resorted to a smirk.

"Juvia's fine. She's better than fine, actually. She's got her memories back. Turns out it was magical trauma after all. Courtesy of your magic after all."

Invel nodded, his heart plummeting. He deserved that little dig. He knew that, yet it still saddened him to know that it was because of him that she had lost her memories in the first place. He saw Gray watching him for a reaction. Gosh, why did he even care?

"So what, she's finally trailing you like some sort of lost puppy again? I bet you're upset that your peace and quiet is gone."

He smirked at the younger ice mage, as if trying to not show him that he wasn't at all affected by anything Juvia related. Why would he let Gray know that he liked Juvia? As much as he had tried his best to forget about her, his mind came back to her. He was almost fixated on her and he really tried not to be. Two months was the same amount of time they had hung out for when they were younger and now two months was the amount of time that he had gone without seeing her.

"What the hell is wrong with me?"

"Actually, she seems to be the same person she was when she had her amnesia. She's not into me anymore and I guess something good came out of something bad. I didn't want to break her heart despite previously telling her that I'm not into her like she's into me, but she doesn't take no for an answer. Now she's off my back and I like my peace. We're really good friends now though."

Relief flooded Invel's body like an ocean. He knew he had absolutely no right to feel this way, but he couldn't help himself. The more he stayed away from her, the more he wanted her. The floodgates to his feelings had opened up and there was no stopping it now. In the beginning, he tried to tell himself that they weren't the same people as before, that they won't get along. But he realised that the more he spoke to Juvia, the less he found himself relying on his snow.

"Hmm, that does sound like a relief for you."

He was trying his very best to act indifferent towards the whole situation. Outwards, he looked as cold as his magic, but he was burning with passion deep within. The worst thing was, he was sure that Gray knew. Gray was like him, as cold as the magic that ran through them and were happy enough to hide their feelings from everyone. He realised that as much as he hated losing to him in that one fight, they understood each other way more than he thought.

Still, that didn't mean he was going to open up to the younger ice mage. No way in hell.

"Good, so now that's sorted, I do have another reason for being here."

Invel raised an eyebrow. "Oh? What's that?"

"Teach me how to make it snow like you do."

Invel frowned. "What? And spend more time than necessary around you?! No, get out."

Gray jumped up. "Oh come on, don't be so cold." Invel sneered at his choice of words, but Gray ignored him and continued on. "Besides, I can tell you all you need to know about Juvia and how to get in her good books."

"I don't need to get into her good books," Invel mumbled as he moved towards the door, ready to kick Gray out.

"You're right, you're already in them. How about brand new information on what she likes and stuff? The Juvia you met must have been pretty different without her recent memories, huh?"

Invel said nothing, but was starting to toy with the idea a little bit. In all honesty, he was prepared to do anything that could get him closer to Juvia, even if that meant spending some time with the man he hates the most, which just so happened to be the man that Juvia loved the most.

Gray was putting his shoes on and Invel heaved a sigh before nodding. "Fine, you've got yourself a deal. When I come to the guild, I'll start your training and you can give me information about Juvia."

There was no use hiding it. Somehow, Gray had managed to figure out his growing feelings for Juvia without them speaking about it. His hate was really growing for the Fullbuster and he wanted to shove him face first into the snow. Either way, he was not a man who enjoyed lying, so that was the moral compass that he was going to go by now.

Gray smirked at him one last time. "So you are joining the guild?"

Invel slammed the door in his face and increased the intensity of the blizzard outside.

So how was that? I'm so glad that there are people who like this story! You guys are amazing. Also, nothing is being edited until my arm is okay. Typing with one hand is tiring. And too slow for my quick brain lol.

Please don't forget to rate or hate, flames or flood! I love you all!

Lolita-chan