Mission

Pain

Amy was in so much pain right now.

It had seemed like such a good idea at the time, but now that the adrenaline was wearing off, she couldn't help but wonder distantly if she'd made a mistake.

Voices pierced and flickered just outside of her sphere of caring. It was hard to tune into what was being said when compared to the many strikes of lightning that seemed to land all at once on every square inch of her body. Screaming was out of the question when something even so pathetic as a whimper was too much for her to handle. Hell, it was a chore just to stay in the moment. She wanted desperately to let herself go, away from the constant throb of this existence and into blissful quiet she had a sneaking suspicion would never end. The lullaby of eternal sleep pulled at her mind, even beyond the panicked symphony of voices that danced in and out of her hearing that matched the part of her soul that wasn't ready to back down yet.

She wanted to care more, really. She just wasn't sure how to care about something that seemed so far out of her control; not anymore, anyway.

Amy's neck cracked as she forced it to look to her left as people quickly pulled a tarp under her body to help lift her away. Green, bloodshot eyes zeroed in on the sudden focus of the last bit of eternity that had led to her disconnected, damn near agonizing present.

Shadow lay on the ground, blood red eyes struggling to meet hers, looking about as mangled as she felt. Amy's heart thumped desperately in her chest as Shadow reached out to her, pain and defiance intertwining and radiating from every part of his being. His eyes squinted and trembled in the effort to keep them open, and Amy could just see the glimmer of unshed tears threatening to fall.

"Don't cry," she wanted to say, her eyes following the shards of cobalt blue debris that littered the ground, "It wasn't your fault."

She steeled her resolve as she felt herself being whisked away. Pain continued to redefine itself into new heights of agony as she was jostled into some sort of vehicle, she couldn't really tell what. Her heart broke anew as Shadow's eyes widened, a desperation that reflected the one in her own heart. Her own tears fell now and it was getting harder to breathe.

"Don't leave him there!" she wanted to scream, "This wasn't what was supposed to happen."

Wasn't it?

Amy couldn't let herself slip into the dark, but the weight of excruciating existence was getting too much to bear, so distraction was her only recourse. Still, all she could think about was what happened.

It was supposed to be a simple mission- protect the ancient chao temple. It was the oldest chao garden that had been discovered recently with the largest population of feral (Amy could hardly call them feral, they were so darn friendly) chao the United Federation had ever encountered. The original plan was to study the creatures quietly. They'd done fine by themselves for centuries, it was only natural that they be allowed to live their lives in peace. But then Rotor found out that Eggman had plans to use the chao as a new power source for his machines. Amy and her new team had been sent out to help Team Dark with the defense of the temple, while other teams from both the Acorn Kingdom and the United Federation led an evacuation of the terrified and now deeply distrusting chao. It was only when Cream and Cheese explained the situation to them that they were even remotely willing to cooperate, and even then evacuations were slow.

Eggman's forces were harder to dispatch with her new team to focus on. While Amy could breeze through them with ease, she was constantly on the lookout to make sure her team was doing just as well. Even before this battle, she was finding it difficult to figure out when it was time to intervene and when it was time to let them figure it out. Her team, while strong and intelligent in their own right, was not battle hardened like she was. Today was not the day to play fast and loose with their lives- Amy flew from one battle to another, protecting her crew, barking orders and encouragement alike and keeping eyes peeled on chao throughout her team's section of the temple.

She felt less guilty about coddling her team when Metal Sonic arrived.

Metal Sonic flew to meet Sonic, who was busy fighting Eggman's giant mech (what did it look like again? Amy's mind fuzzed in warning, it wasn't important and it was too much to think about). Shadow, seeing Sonic in danger, teleported to Metal Sonic to take over the fight, leaving Eggman with Sonic, alone. Amy watched anxiously as Shadow and Metal traded blows, her attention being stretched so thin, it was hard to remember any specific moment in those fights anymore. All she remembered was she needed to keep her team alive. She was Captain Rose now. She was a responsible officer in His Majesty's Freedom Fighter Corp. She was finally in a place to do some lasting good in the world and teach the next generation of officers and Freedom Fighters to defend themselves and others. That was her mission.

It was her mission. When did that change?

Some would argue it was when she started seeing Shadow take more hits from Metal Sonic. Amy knew through Sonic and Tails that the bot had gotten more underhanded lately, even talking more often. She could only imagine what was going through Shadow's mind as he took harder and harder blows from Sonic's doppelganger. More and more of her attention was going towards him, even as her team struggled and called for more help from her.

She hated to admit it, but Amy would argue it had happened much earlier than that.

Although everyone agreed that Amy had gone past the point of no return by the time Shadow's agonized scream ripped through the temple.

Amy vaguely remembered a white, crackling shot of something ancient and primal coursing through her body as Shadow crumpled to the ground. It filled her to the point of vacating everything that she was, setting her on fire and leaving her cold and overflowing with a rage and fear that was beyond anything she'd ever felt in her life. She'd frozen when the cry of unmistakable rage and pain pushed her very soul out of her body. Was it hers? Shadow's? Someone else's, Rouge or Omega perhaps? All she knew was that it had all the power of a siren's call and before she knew it, she was in front of Metal. Before either of them knew it, she had smashed his leg to pieces and was working on ripping his arms off. But by then, Metal Sonic had recovered and her battle with him began in earnest.

Amy couldn't remember much after that. There were some vague flashes of Shadow or others trying to intervene in her battle, none of which she or Metal allowed. He would answer for his crimes, and he would see no one less to make him pay than the little pink hedgehog who he'd set on her path so many years ago. Amy agreed, but the cost of such destruction was destruction of herself in kind.

This was fine with her. It wasn't something Metal Sonic expected from her and she took great, sadistic pleasure in his shocked sockets flickering out of existence before she herself succumbed to her wounds.

He would pay for hurting her Shadow.

She felt phantom will-o-the-wisps tracing stitches of unbearable pain that brought her back to cruel reality. Harried voices swirled around, making her so nauseous she wanted to vomit. Still, her ears twitched around, trying to find the voice she wanted to hear most through the cacophony of determination.

Where is Shadow? Did they leave him behind? Would he be alright? She had to go back and make sure. She wasn't going to die without making sure there would be a world with Shadow in it.

She didn't remember falling into the darkness, but she remembered waking with a start, the dull ache of now treated wounds rumbling a warning of greater pain to come if she moved without thought again. She took several, tentative breaths, flinching when she realized she'd definitely broken or at least bruised some ribs this time. Taking stock of her injuries was the last thing she wanted to do. All alarms seemed to go off at once. But when she heard the gentle shuffle of sheets to her right, she ignored everything and was flooded with beautiful aching relief.

Shadow shifted in the cot beside her, steady breathing apparent even under many layers of stark white bandages. His eyes shifted behind closed lids, taking in an unsettling dream. Amy's vision blurred. He wasn't unscathed but he was safe and he was here. She leaned back in content, allowing other thoughts of her team, her friends, the chao flooded her mind as she wondered about the fate of the rest of the mission.

She could only revel in her relief for a brief second before the reality of what had happened really hit her. Her mission had changed, alright. It had changed right back to where she was when she first began. Her first mission at eight years old had been to serve and be the best woman to Sonic she could be. She would dedicate every fiber of her being to his happiness. If it meant she became a Freedom Fighter and protected the world, so be it. As she got older, she learned the more she pushed for the intimacy that she desired, the more he ran away, so she learned to ask for less of it. So much less until she finally stopped trying and he cheerfully became her greatest inspiration and friend. Any move towards the closeness she craved from him was met with unease and denial. So her mission changed. She would be an inspiration for others, like Sonic was for her. She would become the best of the Freedom Fighters, so no one would think her unworthy of anything.

When had her focus shifted so thoroughly that she was willing to throw everything away for Shadow?

Guilt wracked her body. She'd left her struggling team behind. She'd abandoned the chao. She'd been ready to sacrifice her whole life in order to keep Shadow alive and destroy everything that threatened him.

She chose Shadow.

Had she relegated herself to such a lowly mission again? To keep herself chained to one hedgehog who would be her highest priority to the detriment of the world? Could she really be so selfish? And what about poor Shadow? What did he think of that? Did he even feel an ounce of the passion she felt? What if it scared him? What if he laughed? Used her? Ran away?

Amy moaned miserably as tears ran canyons down her fur and flowed into her pillow. She couldn't decide which reaction was worse. She remembered the crippling loneliness she'd felt in those long years of her first mission. She remembered how long it took for anyone to take her seriously because of the source of her determination instead of seeing the vast power it provided her. That only in shifting the scope of her mission was she able to find the fulfillment she craved from the moment she laid eyes on Sonic. To realize that she would go back? And for someone else? Shadow, as worthy as he was, didn't deserve to be bothered by the weight of her emotions.

She sat there, mourning her her own stupid, impetuous love when she felt something warm and bright wash over her that startled her. It wasn't oppressive by any stretch of the imagination. It felt very much like a ray of sunshine breaking through a chilly and cloudy day. Was she being drugged? She hadn't heard a nurse or anyone come in to check on her and all she had attached was a bag of saline keeping her hydrated. As she searched the room for the source of such comfort, her eyes honed in on the object of her affections in the bed beside her.

His arms trembled from exhaustion, but it was clear that he was sharing some of his chaos energy with Amy, trying to cure whatever hurts she had. Amy stared in awe as Shadow recklessly gave more than he should of himself just to save her a bit of pain. Amy tried to sit up, if only to stop him, but even the energy wasn't enough to stave off the pain from that particularly stupid idea. Shadow flinched in kind and barked out a rough, "Don't." At the same time she did.

Amy glared at him, "What about you? Shadow, you're hurt worse than I am!"

Shadow glared back and Amy was both thrilled and annoyed at the fact that this man had never backed down from the fire of her temper, "You're on much thinner ice than I am. Now where does it hurt?"

Amy's heart skipped a beat, the wavering of his arms was nothing to the steady, unbreakable determination in his eyes. She broke away first, unable (unwilling) to believe what that could mean, "I'm just… I'm worried about the mission. I kinda broke off from everyone just to take down Metal. I hope I didn't screw anything up."

It was mostly the truth, but even then, Shadow only stemmed the flow ever so slowly before cutting it off completely. He leaned back gingerly, his eyes wincing in pain but never taking them off of her. Only once he was settled in did he look up at the ceiling and firmly say, "Don't cry. This wasn't your fault."

Amy started then turned to Shadow in shock. He met her gaze again and Amy felt the full weight of his convictions in his next words, "Whatever happens, I'm here now. I'm not going anywhere."

"I'm not going anywhere."

Amy had never believed in anything so completely in her life. She felt a new wave of safety and love that purely reflected the intensity of her feelings. She couldn't help but giggle at the thought. She forgot that Shadow was a deeply passionate person, despite his pensive nature. Of course, they would have to talk more about it later. Shadow probably didn't know how she felt, but she had a newfound hope that Shadow wouldn't be frightened off by something he felt too. A new feeling, a more familiar wave of comfort washed over her, gently soothing her poor aches and pains.

Her mission wasn't to destroy the world at the whims of another hedgehog. It was to find a partner to share in its defense. She couldn't argue against the selfishness of such a love, but then, knowing that he felt at least some glimmer of the same for her…

...Well, it was nice to know someone was watching her back now.

"Thank you."

Shadow grunted decisively and Amy smiled as she slipped into a much more comfortable rest.

"Maybe it was a successful mission after all."