This is being cross-posted from Ao3. It was originally posted on 15 November 2020.
Huge thank you to GaeilgeRua for allowing me the use of her Grammarly subscription to read this over. Any other mistakes are definitely my own.
Disclaimer: Harry Potter belongs to JK Rowling, Bloomsbury, and Warner Bros. Marvel belongs to Disney. No copyright infringement is intended.
Prompt: #MMFRollAThon 14 Nov Crack Fic: Accidental Marriage/Matchmaker
#MMFBingo20 Square 0$: Jane Foster/Theo Nott
#ExcelsiorBingo19 Square 03: Accidental Marriage
"We're in Vegas!' Darcy cried, throwing her hands up as they drove through the desert and into the sparkling city.
"It looks a bit tacky," Draco sneered, but he plastered a smile on his face when his girlfriend shot him a glare.
"You are always such a spoilsport," Darcy said, now crossing her arms. "Jane, you're excited, aren't you?"
Jane, who was driving, gave Darcy a glare and then put her eyes back to the road. "Darcy, we're not even here to have a good time. Besides, when have you ever gambled in your life?"
"I can start, can't I? When are we ever going to come to Las Vegas again?" She wiggled her eyebrows up and down and elbowed Draco in the side. "Maybe you and I can get hitched while we are here. What do you say about that?"
"Darcy, as much as I adore you, I don't think you or my parents are ready for us to get married just yet." Draco pinched the bridge of his nose and continued, "I already told you we would get married someday, but I'd like to do it somewhere a little less garish."
Theo, who had been completely quiet this entire time, finally spoke up from where he was sitting in the backseat. "As long as we get to have a few drinks after meeting with Stark and Rogers, I'm fine. If we came all the way from England to Las Vegas and don't have at least a little bit of fun, I'm going to drop you guys as soon as we get back to the Ministry."
Darcy sighed heavily and threw a few pieces of popcorn into the backseat where Draco and Theo were sitting. "Why is it that we always get stuck working with you two?"
"Because you and I are dating, remember?" Draco said, laughing and then leaned forward to place a kiss on the side of Darcy's cheek. "How much farther until we get to the hotel?"
"We just have to drive down the strip a little bit further, and we should be there," Jane explained, pointing into the distance. Even early in the morning, roads and sidewalks were crowded with vehicles and people wanting to visit the casinos or eat at the restaurants.
As they passed by a chapel, Darcy said, "Come on, Draco. Last chance."
"Leave him alone, Darcy. He already told you he is going to marry you. At least do it his way and not the cheesy American way," Jane playfully scolded.
Darcy slouched into the front seat. "Spoilsports. All of you."
"I think we need to set up Jane and Theo," Darcy said as she flopped onto the mattress next to Draco.
"By set up, you mean to get them together?" Draco drawled, opening an eye. "You do realize that sounds insane right. Theo is more rigid than Hermione ever was, and Jane seems rather…"
"Lame?" Darcy supplied, earning her a smile. "She can be, but underneath she's fascinating… I think."
"She dated Thor," Draco said, tugging Darcy closer and kissing her neck.
Darcy's eyes fluttered shut, and she let out a little moan as Draco continued to pepper little kisses down her neck. "She did-oh- and she can break the rules from time to time. I think they would be good for each other."
Draco rolled over onto his knees and began to unbutton Darcy's blouse. "After we have a bit of a rest, I suppose we could come up with a scheme to get them on a date."
"I like the way you think, Malfoy," Darcy said with a grin as she reached for Draco's zipper.
"Draco and Darcy aren't coming back, are they?" Jane asked as she and Theo waited at the bar. Their companions had gone to the bathroom some twenty minutes before and never returned.
"I could have told you that," Theo mused, refolding his cocktail napkin in the opposite direction. "They didn't even go toward the bathrooms; they went to the elevators."
"They're as bad as rabbits," Jane mumbled, grabbing for her purse.
"What are you doing?" Theo asked, watching as Jane took some money out of the bag.
"Paying so we can leave," Jane explained, leaning around Theo to try and get the bartender's attention.
"What? Already?" Theo explained, grabbing for her arm. "It's not even nine. Let's have a few more drinks." When Jane made a face, he relented, "Okay, one more drink? Then we can go to bed."
Sighing, Jane put the money back in her purse. "Okay, one more drink, but you're buying."
Grinning, Theo quickly waved down the bartender. "You got it."
Groggily, Darcy struggled out of the large comforter on the bed. She and Draco had slipped out of the bar the night before but still managed to get intoxicated from the minibar. She had no idea how the rest of Jane and Theo's night went, but she hoped that they were able to talk and maybe see that there was more for them there than just partners and friends.
After chugging a bottle of water, Darcy tiptoed through the living space and peeked into Jane's room. Slapping her hands over her mouth at the sight, she ran back to Draco and jumped on the bed.
"Draco!" she hissed, shaking him awake. "Come quick. You will never believe this!"
"Darcy…" Draco said, covering a yawn. "...Too early…"
"It worked!" Darcy exclaimed, still shaking him. "Theo and Jane are sleeping together. Come and see!"
Now Draco was awake, throwing back the covers and hurrying to slip on some pants. "You're kidding? I wasn't sure it would."
Together they hurried back to Jane's door, and sure enough, Theo and Jane were wrapped around each other in the bed. "I told you," Darcy whispered, but clearly not quite enough.
The tow in the bed began to shift, and then Janeaane sat up abruptly. "What the!?" Her eyes were wide as she spotted Draco and Darcy in the door. "Shit." She punched Theo on the arm, effectively waking him.
"What's happening," Theo slurred, rubbing his eyes as he too sat up in the bed. When he spotted Draco and Darcy, he groaned and flopped back down on the bed. "Busted."
"Oh you're definitely busted," Draco said, smirking. "Looks like everything worked out for you two last night."
Taking a deep breath, Jane shrugged one shoulder. "I think it went a lot further than we all expected..."
"What do you mean?" Darcy asked slowly, her eyes going back and forth between the two.
Jane simply held up her left hand where a large diamond ring now adorned her finger. "We sort of got hitched."
"Sort of!?" Darcy was floored but excited as she rushed forward to take a look. "This is fantastic!"
"We were going to get it annulled this morning," Theo mumbled from under the blanket.
"I think it's great," Draco said, walking forward into the room and wrapping an arm around Darcy's shoulder. "Let it sit a while. See how it unfolds."
"You want us to stay married?" Theo asked, revealing himself again. "We accidentally got married last night in a drunken stupor, and you think it's a good idea?"
"Sure," Draco said, glancing at Darcy. "What do you think, love?"
"I love it," Darcy said, unable to contain her excitement.
Jane surprised them all by saying, "I wouldn't mind waiting either if I am honest."
"Really?" Theo said, eyes lighting up as he turned to face his apparent new wife. "You want to stay together?"
Jane looked at her ring and then up at Theo. "Yeah, I've sort of liked you for a while."
"This keeps getting better," Darcy muttered to Draco.
"Then let's give this a go," Theo agreed, taking Jane's hand.
"Let's give it a go," Jane agreed, leaning forward and kissing Theo.
"This is the best trip ever," Darcy whispered to Draco as they watched their friends kiss.
Darcy simply chuckled and tugged her from the room. It was clear that Theo and Jane had new plans this morning, so they might as well enjoy themselves too. As they disappeared back into their own bedroom, Darcy couldn't help but be excited for her friend. Jane deserved all the happiness in the world, and Theo would surely give her that just as Draco made her happy too.