Note: I know I said this story was only going to be four chapters long, but I love this little family so much, so I had to continue writing it.
Warning: this chapter is pretty deep, so you may need some tissues at hand.
I wouldn't change you for the world,
but I'd change the world for you.
.5.
Edward.
I was pulled away from my blissful sleep at five o'clock that morning.
I lay in bed for a few minutes as I allowed my body to fully wake up, and although I was more than used to this routine by now, it was still hard to adjust to the new day. The sun was still to fully rise, Bella was peacefully asleep next to me, and the only sound I could hear was the gentle wind that whistled past the windows.
But I didn't wake up at this time by choice, and regardless of how much I enjoyed the comfort of my bed, my daughter came first before everything. Delilah woke up at six o'clock every morning, and it was a rarity if she stayed asleep for longer than that. As soon as she was awake, I needed to be by her side as I assisted her with her morning routine. So I used this first hour to have a shower, get dressed for the day, and carry on with any other mundane tasks if I had the time to complete them.
When Delilah's routine changed, Bella and I had a discussion about who would be at her side first thing in the morning, and we figured it was best that I took that shift. Bella worked from home, which meant that she was around for the rest of the day, so I wanted my wife to sleep for as long as possible before I had to leave for work. Today was a Saturday, so I didn't have to work, but the morning routine occurred regardless of the day.
It was also Bella's birthday today, so of course I wasn't going to make her wake up before the sun.
Delilah and I had it all planned out, from the gifts we bought her, to the breakfast we'd give her in bed. We had so much to thank Bella for, and although she was stubborn and didn't ask for anything in return, Delilah and I loved to spoil Bella on her birthday. Apart from our wedding day, today is the only time Bella will accept a gift without telling me I shouldn't have bought her anything. But she's changed our lives, so I wanted to treat her as much as I could.
Speaking of my beautiful wife, as I stepped from the bed I gave Bella a sweet kiss on the cheek, and then tucked the comforter over her shoulders to keep her warm. Then once I'd poked my head out the bedroom door to make sure Delilah wasn't awake yet, I headed into the bathroom.
There had been a lot of changes in the two years since Bella walked into our lives. One of the changes being the grand move we'd made last year from Seattle to Forks. Unfortunately, Delilah's condition worsened, so it soothed my anxiety to know that my father was only five minutes away whenever I needed him.
That was the main reason for the move, but we were looking for a new house anyway, so it worked out perfectly. Because of the cystic fibrosis, Delilah often found it difficult to complete daily tasks without getting out of breath, or feeling rundown and tired. That was why she needed a nasal cannula, but it wasn't just her lungs that were affected. On the days that Delilah struggled to walk from one end of the room to the other, she relied on a wheelchair to get her from A to B.
Our previous house only caused more issues on those particular days. The doorways were too narrow for the wheelchair to get through, unless it was folded up, our bedrooms were upstairs, so it meant Delilah was essentially stuck in one place until someone could carry her downstairs again. But we also had steps that led to the front door, and I couldn't handle the pain on Delilah's face as she watched her friends playing outside, but she couldn't go and join them without Bella or I helping out.
Our house was now all on one level, just in case Delilah's energy changed throughout the day, and she could use her wheelchair without needing to ask anyone for help. Not like Bella or I wouldn't help her, but Delilah could be pretty stubborn, and she loved to do things by herself whenever her body allowed it.
Money's no object when it comes to my daughter, and I would have paid the costly price to have the house converted to make it wheelchair accessible, but with the constant hospital visits, it only seemed right to move to Forks.
Delilah's spent a total of six months in hospital over the past two years, and every time she's admitted, I'm almost certain I won't make it out alive. To see the sad look on her face as she's settled in a new room, her tiny, fragile body in the large hospital bed just about killed me, but there's also the fear of the unknown. No one can say whether she'd ever leave that building, or how long she's going to be in there. The doctors and CF team don't have a magic wand to make the illness disappear. All we have is hope and prayers, and that's what gets us by.
There is still currently no cure for cystic fibrosis, but occasionally new treatments and medications are created, so as long as the life expectancy continues to rise, then Bella and I still have some hope that the doctor's first age limit could have been wrong. That was one part of the condition that we hadn't told Delilah about. She's far too young to hear that sort of thing, or fully understand what it means. I wouldn't even want to think about what it would do to her scared little mind if I said there was a chance Bella and I would out live her.
No. I inform Delilah of every change that goes on, and I'm honest when I tell her how sick she is, but a life expectancy is something we're keeping to ourselves for now.
0-0
Once I was finished in the bathroom, I changed into a simple pair of beige chinos and a white shirt, and then I headed into the kitchen to set up Delilah's medication. The majority of her medication is in pill form, which she's now an expert at taking, but there's some that she takes through a nebulizer that delivers the medication straight to her lungs. The majority of the pills are enzyme capsules, which she has to take before she eats anything. The enzymes assist in the breakdown of food, which her body no longer has the ability to do naturally, so she has three pills for a main meal and two for a snack. It doesn't matter what she eats, whether it's an apple or a slice of cake, if she doesn't take the pills, then her stomach would be in serious pain for a long time.
Because Delilah is only eight, Bella and I make sure she takes each pill, and completes her daily therapy. So my main task in the morning is to put the correct amount of medication into small, divided boxes to make it easier for everyone. We're only human, and there's been times in the past where Delilah helped herself to a chocolate bar without us realizing, and she spent the rest of the day in the bathroom.
It was five minutes past six as I closed the lid on the final box, and a nasty, dirty cough came from Delilah's bedroom. She was awake.
She usually coughs from anywhere between thirty minutes and two hours when she first wakes up, but then it gradually simmers down throughout the day. The mucus has sat there all night long, so now Delilah needs to cough it up as much as she can, and that's where she needs our assistance.
"Hey, sweetheart," I said as I dropped down onto the side of her bed.
"Hi," Delilah croaked, and then she tucked her teddy into her chest to help her soothe the pain.
I sat in silence as Delilah continued to cough, and I rubbed and patted her back to try and get the mucus to move. Her vest did the same therapy, but Delilah found it uncomfortable to lie on her side with the vest on, so I helped out as much as I could.
It took forty minutes for the coughs to subside, and in that time Delilah had a few sips of water and dosed in and out of consciousness.
"Do you want to get up?" I asked as she began to wriggle around on the bed.
"Yeah." Delilah smiled softly. "It's Momma's birthday, right?"
"It sure is," I replied. "Do you want to help me make her breakfast?"
"Yeah!"
Although Bella wasn't Delilah's biological mother, our daughter has called her 'Momma' since before we were married. Bella adopted Delilah a month after the wedding, and I sobbed when Bella asked me if that was okay.
Once Delilah had slipped on her slippers and robe, the two of us headed through to the kitchen. Another change that's occurred is now Delilah's oxygen tank is on wheels, which meant we no longer needed to carry it for her, and Delilah can wheel it around the house without an issue.
"Daddy?" Delilah asked as she climbed onto a bar stool.
"Yes?"
"Is it today that we're going to see Grandpa?"
"Yes." I nodded. "But we have two appointments, remember?"
"One for me, and one for Momma?"
"That's right."
Delilah danced happily with a cheeky grin on her face, and then she swallowed back her pills as she continued to dance. I couldn't help but laugh, and I watched Delilah let out her excitement as I cracked some eggs into a bowl.
"Why are you so excited?" I asked with a smile.
"Because today we find out when I'm getting my sister!"
"That's not strictly true," I laughed again. "Today we find out if Momma can have a baby, but if that happens, we can't decide whether we have a boy or a girl. So, would you be okay having a baby brother?"
"Um…" Delilah tapped her chin as she thought. "Yeah, I guess so. I really want a sister, but I can play with a brother too, right?"
"Of course," I replied. "Auntie Alice and I played together when we were younger."
"Okay, then I'll have a brother, too!"
I almost feared Bella would wake up from the noise we were making, but Delilah was so funny, so I couldn't help my laughter. I just hoped we were able to give Delilah the wish she truly wanted.
Tanya and I, Delilah's biological mother, both carried the faulty CF gene, which we weren't aware of. Both parents had to have the gene, and according to science, there was a one in four chance of Delilah being born with cystic fibrosis. Bella and I had a long conversation about having another child, and even though it was something we both desperately wanted, we were also aware of the risks. We love Delilah more than anything else in the world, but we couldn't take the chance of having a second child battling this horrific condition.
We had no idea whether Bella also carried the faulty gene, and she couldn't say for sure if someone somewhere in her family tree had also battled with CF, so today Bella was undergoing a genetic testing to see whether or not she carried it. If the blood work came back clear, then we'd try for a baby and give Delilah the sibling she desperately wanted. But if we found out Bella also had the same gene, then we'd potentially look into adoption instead.
It was incredibly difficult to decide whether or not it was the right decision to make. Of course I wanted more children, and of course I wanted to see our family grow, but I didn't think I could cope if I had to watch another child suffer the way Delilah did. There were days where I thought she wasn't going to make it, and I spent a countless number of nights sobbing at the thought that my daughter wasn't going to make it to see the next morning. I wouldn't wish this on my worst enemy, so I didn't want to be selfish and bring another baby into this world if there was a high chance they'd go through the same thing.
Throughout the years I'd spent in hospitals, I'd met a number of parents who had lost their child to CF, or had more than one battling the condition. Every patient is different, and not every child went through the same ordeals that Delilah did, but my heart shattered as I watched those grieving parents mourn the loss of their baby. I often felt hopeless and useless, and there's nothing worse than watching Delilah get hooked up to various machines, knowing that I couldn't do anything to help her.
Delilah's timeline wasn't set in stone. She could go from running around the room laughing, to being put into the back of an ambulance within a matter of minutes. Her lungs were slowly being destroyed from the mucus that clogged them, as well as her pancreas and intestines. She could live to see her twenties, thirties, or forties, but at the same time, this could be the last day we had with her.
Would I want to see another child go through that? Would I want to potentially risk losing both children before I died? Or, would it help Bella and I if we had another child to keep us going, and to get us out of bed in the morning?
Not an hour went by where I didn't think about those horrific questions, and that's what made the entire process so much harder.
"Daddy, the eggs!"
I shook my head to rid myself from those painful thoughts. I was so distracted that I'd almost ruined Bella's breakfast, but fortunately, I had my little helper there to assist me.
"Thank you, sweetheart," I laughed humorlessly. "I don't know what I'd do without you."
0-0
"Can I go in?" Delilah asked quietly.
"Yeah, but be quiet."
Delilah smiled and smothered her giggle with one hand, and then she gently pushed open the bedroom door and wheeled her oxygen tank into the room. From the soft snores that filled the room, I knew Bella was still asleep. Either that, or she was pretending for our sake.
Then Delilah scrambled onto my side of the bed, and she placed her hands sweetly on her mother's arm.
"Happy birthday, Momma!"
Bella awoke with a startle, and it appeared to take a second for her to realize what was going on, but then she rolled over onto her back, and peered up at us.
"What's this?" Bella asked.
"Daddy and I made you breakfast! Well, Daddy did all the work, but I watched him do it!"
"Oh, thank you." My wife smiled and pulled herself up into a sitting position.
"And look, Momma, I'm having my breakfast with you, too!"
I wish I could've captured the look of love that shimmered in my daughter's eyes. Delilah had loved Bella since the moment they first met, and that feeling had intensified as the two years went by.
"I love having breakfast with my baby girl," Bella said as she placed a kiss on Delilah's crown. "But what about Daddy? Doesn't he want any breakfast?"
"Someone's got to be the servant." I grinned. "I also had a bowl of cereal before 'Lilah woke up."
Then I placed their assigned trays on their laps, and Bella and Delilah didn't hesitate to get tucked into the scrambled eggs, bacon, and toast I'd prepared. I'd made Bella a cup of tea in one of her favorite mugs, and I'd filled a matching mug with some orange juice so Delilah could feel like they were both enjoying the same breakfast.
I set up Delilah's vest and nebulizer as mother and daughter devoured their food. It was another reminder that no matter how much we enjoyed these special moments, or whenever things appeared normal, the darkness of the condition constantly lurked in the background. Bella and I made a decision that we didn't want Delilah to see us upset, or to watch us cry, so we did whatever we could to constantly put on a brave smile.
Once the plates and mugs were empty, Bella carried the dishes through into the kitchen, and I assisted Delilah in slipping on her vest. I tightened the straps to make sure it was snug against her, and then Delilah placed the nebulizer in her mouth as the equipment was switched on.
The vest vibrated wildly, and a cloud of steam blew from the nebulizer as the medication was delivered into Delilah's lungs. I'd timed this round for five minutes, but later on in the day Delilah would go through the same routine again, and then the nebulizer would be set for three minutes instead.
"Daddy," she said in a croaky, robotic voice as she brought the mouthpiece away. "What about the presents?"
"Don't worry, I've got them." I winked. "I bet you're excited to give Momma your gift, right?"
Delilah bobbed her head, but then our conversation came to an end as Bella returned to the room. She instantly headed toward her dresser, but I stopped her before she could look out an outfit.
"Take a seat, love. Your birthday isn't over yet."
"What?" Bella frowned. "But, Edward, we need to leave soon."
I glanced at my watch and noticed the time was nearing seven-thirty. We wanted to leave the house in an hour, so that was more than enough time to get everything done.
"Come and sit next to me, Momma."
Bella gave me a soft glare, and then a beautiful smile lit up her face as she tucked herself in beside Delilah. Before my wife could say another word, I pulled out the small pile of gifts I'd hidden under the bed, and handed them over.
"Thank you," Bella blushed as she accepted the gifts. "You really didn't have to."
"But I wanted to." I shrugged, and then shot her a wink.
"I picked my own out all by myself," Delilah said as she brought out the thin, rectangular present.
"You did? Thank you."
I sat on the edge of the bed as I watched Bella peel back the wrapping paper. Delilah and I had bought this gift a few weeks prior, and it was difficult to keep it hidden for so long.
The gift was presented in a royal blue box, and nestled inside was a silver chain with a silver cookie charm. The chocolate chip cookie looked like someone had taken a bite from it, and the second Delilah spotted the necklace in a store window, she knew she had to buy it.
Well, I bought it, but Delilah handed over my credit card.
"Oh, sweetheart, I love it," Bella said with pure emotion in her voice.
"Look on the back," I told her.
We'd had Delilah's name engraved on the back of the charm, and happy tears coated Bella's eyes as she ran the pad of her finger over the name.
"You and I make…" Delilah paused to cough. "We make cookies together, all the time!"
"We do," Bella smiled as she brushed back her daughter's hair. "It's my favorite thing we do together, and now I can have one of your cookies on me at all times."
"I think we should get a matching one for you, 'Lilah," I added.
Delilah nodded her head wildly as a sign that she agreed to my idea.
"And I think we should make the real things soon." Bella smirked. "Perhaps we could try a new recipe out?"
Delilah was reaching the end of her treatment, so she couldn't remove the mouthpiece to speak, but the excitement was clear in her eyes and the expression on her face. I was glad Bella hadn't mentioned making the cookies today, because I still had a few surprises up my sleeve, but I kept them a secret for now.
Then Bella opened the rest of her presents, which included a few items of clothing, two books I overheard her mention, and a personalized candle that was vanilla cookie scented, and it had a picture of the three of us from our wedding day on the front. Bella and I weren't interested in buying extravagant gifts for the sake of it, and I much preferred buying her gifts that she actually wanted, instead of spending thousands of dollars on a bracelet she'd keep safe in a box.
Of course, if Bella wanted an expensive piece of jewelry, then I'd buy it for her in a heartbeat, but I knew she much preferred the sentimental gifts, like the cookie necklace and the candle. Things were slightly different when it came to Delilah's birthday and Christmas, because she didn't fully understand the concept of money. If Delilah saw something on TV, or passed it in a store, she wouldn't even think about the cost of it before she said she wanted it. We didn't spoil our daughter, and we didn't buy her everything she asked for, but we liked spending a little more money on her instead of each other.
There was also the horrific thought constantly at the back of our minds, and if buying Delilah a special gift put a smile on her face, then we didn't think twice before we bought it. We're thankful for each and every day we get to spend with our little girl, so we wanted to make her life as positive as we possibly could.
"Edward, are you okay?"
I shook my head once again, and I looked over at Bella and Delilah and I noticed that Bella had stood up from the bed.
"Sorry, I was in my own little world."
"It's okay, I understand." Bella smiled. "I was just saying I'm going for a shower, and then we can think about leaving soon."
"Good idea. We don't want to keep the doctor waiting."
"You mean Grandpa?" Delilah frowned.
"Yes, I mean Grandpa," I laughed. "Will you be okay to sit here while I find you an outfit?"
"Yeah." She smiled. "But, Daddy, can you get me my pink dress? The one with the flowers on it?"
"You want to wear that one today?"
"It's my favorite, and Grandpa said I looked really pretty in it."
"That's true, he did," I replied. "Well, if my girl wants to wear her pink dress, then your wish is my command."
I heard Delilah's giggle as I headed from the room, and I felt my heart break from that sound alone.
The day had started off well, and hopefully it would continue in that same pattern, but there was no way to say for certain. I just hoped that we got through this day without a hitch, but whatever happened, I knew we'd deal with it as a family.
Note: There will be more chapters from here on out, but I cannot say how many. What I can say, however, is that the chapters won't be in chronological order. The next chapter will probably be the rest of the day and birthday celebrations, but then it might go back in time to when they first met Bella. It'll essentially be little snapshots of their life whenever an idea comes to my mind.
If you have any questions, please leave them down below and I'll do my best to answer them as best I can. And if you enjoyed this chapter, and wish to see more of little Delilah, then let me know! Reviews really do give me the motivation to write.
