So, here we are three weeks later. I apologize for how long this chapter took me to write I know there are a few of you who are deeply invested in the story and I'm sorry for making you wait! I unfortunately have been sick for the past week (thankfully not Covid, just the common cold) and it's taking me a while to feel 100% again. Hopefully the chapter doesn't disappoint! Anyway, Happy Reading!
Disclaimer for Liverpool fans: this is fiction and not meant to offend anyone. I don't pay much attention to Liverpool/their players but I'm sure everyone is lovely in real life lol
The hotel bar was about to close, and Jamie was sitting alone while nursing his bourbon. He never cared for darker liquor before, usually sticking to vodka or gin, but tonight he needed something stronger. Tomorrow would be hell and he'll likely regret getting smashed the night before a game. However, he knew Lasso was preoccupied so he didn't need to keep an eye out for prominent mustaches.
"Can't we at least try to see where this goes?"
Lexie had looked at him so sweetly, it almost made him forget everything and take her to his room. A year ago, he wouldn't have had a second thought. But things had changed since then. He had changed. What was he supposed to do? Say fuck it, and risk everything he'd built in the past year? Even if he did just that, what would happen in a few months when she goes back to the States? Maybe they'd try to make it work long-distance for a while before slowly going their separate ways. And that would only happen if Jamie didn't fuck it all up before then. There was something about the way she looked at him so genuinely that made him want to try.
The most serious relationship he'd been in was with Keeley. They only lasted six months before Keeley realized she deserved better than him. Since their breakup, he'd just been hooking up with women he barely knew nor cared enough to remember.
"Did the bartender run out of vanilla vodka?"
Jamie groaned into his glass, not just from the stingy sensation in his throat but from the baritone voice behind him.
"What d'you want?"
"Keeley left her clutch in the booth we were sitting in earlier." Roy explained. "I'd gotten her up to the room and tucked her into bed when she drunkenly mumbled something about leaving her pussy power clutch behind. She would be devastated to lose such a high-quality fashion accessory."
Jamie breathed out a chuckle. Keeley was truly one of a kind and unapologetically herself. He wished he could go to her for advice right now, but he knew it would end with him meeting Roy Kent's fist.
"Then I saw you sulking in the corner and decided against better judgement to come over." Roy continued.
There was silence between the two men for a moment before Jamie felt the other's body slid into the seat next to him. Roy rested the shiny, pink clutch on the bar, acting as a barrier between them. The bartender gave him a tired look while approaching Roy for his order, to which the older man shook his head dismissively. Jamie however asked for another glass of bourbon, against the wishes of his burning throat.
"Am I going to have to bench you tomorrow?"
Jamie grinned sardonically. "You'd love that, old man."
"If we were having this conversation a few months ago, I would have said you're right." He'd been looking down at his clasped hands on the sticky bar top, clearly forcing the words out past his prideful reluctance. "We need you, Tartt. The whole team is counting on you to help get us out of relegation."
The relegation I put you in, Jamie thought guiltily. He remembered the game that defeated Richmond as clear as day. A lot of what drove him to win that game was the anger of being tossed aside. When he was told Man City was taking him back, well, it should have been a relief. Richmond was an amateur team compared to the heavily trophied Man City. However, that feeling of being given up on by Lasso hurt more than he'd ever admit. Jamie wanted to prove a point to Richmond and Coach Lasso that he would be just fine without them, that he was better than them. He wanted to show them he didn't care if they didn't want him. He'd succeed on his own.
He'd won the game and reminded Lasso and the players who doubted him why he was the best fucking player in the league. Then he went and mucked it all up. Jamie didn't want to give up football, but his father kept pushing him and pushing him until he finally snapped. He left Man City and did his own thing. Arrogantly, he assumed Manchester would wait for him to finish fucking about. He didn't think it would end with him begging Lasso to take him back.
"You wouldn't have to get out of relegation if it wasn't for me." He picked at his fingernail and waited for what the grumpy old twat had to say.
"You shouldn't have left Richmond to begin with," Roy finally looked at him straight on. "And that wasn't your fault."
"What d'you mean?" Jamie scoffed. "Of course, it's me fault. The entire team thinks so."
Over the past few months, he'd been able to repair most of the damage his ego caused towards the rest of the team. However, Jamie knew they still secretly held resentment towards him, and he didn't blame them.
Roy sighed, suddenly looking overly tired and weighed down. "You do know that Lasso didn't want you to leave, right?"
Jamie shrugged casually, "He told me Man City wanted me back, but he could 'ave fought harder to keep me." He took a sip of his drink. "But he just let me go."
Roy shook his head with thinning patience. "Look, Tartt, you fucked up our last season, fine. But I understand why you did." The statement caused Jamie to raise his eyebrows in shock. "You were playing for another team who was counting on you to win, and you did. You're at Richmond now. Move on and help us get back on track. Forget about what Lasso did or didn't do. He brought you back on the team for a reason. He trusts you to help us, and more importantly, he cares about you."
Jamie took a moment before nodding thoughtfully, "Thanks, mate." His eyes shifted up awkwardly to see the former footballer looking at him sincerely. "I appreciate it. But that's not why I'm down 'ere drinkin'."
More to his surprise, he saw the understanding in Kent's eyes paired with a knowing nod. "I know." He looked around casually to make sure no one was around. "This is about Alex."
Jamie stiffened at the mention of her name. His heartbeat pounded in his ears as he realized what he thought was his own little secret, was out in the world and somehow known by the man he used to despise. "How'd you find out?"
Roy quickly covered his amused grin with a cough, still looking rather pleased with himself. "I love Keeley to bits, but the woman can't keep a secret to save her life."
Jamie's face scrunched up in an almost cartoonish way. "Did Lexie tell Keeley everything?"
"Oh, so it's Lexie now, is it?"
"Shut up." He instantly replied, followed by a bitter swallow and a defeated look. "She asked me if we could try bein' together."
If Roy was surprised by Jamie's statement, he didn't show it. "And? What did you say?"
Jamie sighed, shaking his head as if to clear the fog from his mind. "I told her I needed to think about it first."
The bartender reapproached, ready to refill the empty glass with more bourbon. "No thanks, love." Jamie gave her a small, polite smile.
Roy cleared his throat next to him and brought the attention back to the matter at hand. "You're worried about Lasso?"
Jamie nodded. "'m fuckin' terrified of what he'd do if he knew."
The older man let out a breath through his nose. "Has anything happened that would give him reason to kill you?"
Jamie crinkled his brows, "You mean besides wantin' his niece? Eh, I think that's reason enough, don't you?"
"Have you hurt her? Made her cry?" Roy lowered his voice for the next question. "Did you fuck her and not call her the next day?"
"I couldn't do that to her." Jamie looked off to the side, catching a glance of a couple drunkenly giggling and exiting the bar, barely keeping their hands to themselves. "Lexie's different."
He looked back at Roy and found him staring back as if he discovered unicorns. "Is this really Jamie Tartt speaking? The little prick who thinks the fucking sun shines just to keep his arse warm?"
Jamie scoffed at him for a second before shrugging at the warranted insult. "I've changed. I'm trying to be a better person." He looked down at the rings on his fingers and gave them each a twist. "Which is why I can't disrespect coach."
"Jesus fucking Christ," Roy grumbled before thumping Jamie on the back of the head. "When did you turn into such a fucking baby?"
"The fuck you do that for?!" Jamie rubbed the sore spot on his head.
"If you want to be with Alex, then grow a pair and tell Lasso." Roy could see the protests starting to rise out of Tartt's mouth, prompting him to give him another whack. "If you keep on with this teenage bullshit behind his back, someone else is going to tell him and then he will kill you. Not because of what you're doing, but because you tried to hide it."
Jamie could hardly sputter out his reply, still coming back from the hits Roy gave him. "Alright, let's say I tell Lasso how I feel and Lexie and I date, and it's all fucking roses, until she goes back home to the States. Then what?"
Roy shrugged, not really sure where Jamie was going with his point. "So what? No one is saying you have to bloody marry her."
"What 'm tryin' to say is," Jamie took a breath to gather his thoughts. "What's the point? Why risk what I have if it's only going to be temporary."
The older man looked as if a light had gone off behind his dark eyes. Jamie didn't like his amused smile or disbelieving laugh. It made him feel like a child.
"Tartt," Roy said slowly as if bracing him for a revelation. "Everything in life is temporary."
Jamie stared at him silently, waiting for him to continue with his point. Roy shifted in his seat and lowered his head closer to the young striker. "You're young, Jamie – Don't roll you're fucking eyes at me I'm trying to fucking help you – I know everything in your life right now seems like it's all you're going to have, but I've learned since having to leave football behind that everything comes and goes when it's meant to. Even the things you hold closest to you. And it'll fucking hurt like a bitch when it's gone, but it's a kind of pain where you know you wouldn't change a thing if you could. So, you might as well enjoy it while you have the chance."
"Enjoy what you have with Alex, as fleeting as it may be. Just because it's not meant to last doesn't mean it isn't real."
"Hey, Little Lexie, do you mind if we sat down to talk for a minute?" The cheerful, yet muffled, voice of her Uncle Ted carried through the wood of her hotel door.
Alex quickly got to work throwing away the tissues she collected on the beside table. She bolted to the bathroom and gasped as she let the cold water from the sink splash on her face in an attempt to hide the puffiness of her eyes.
When Jamie left her standing in the hallway, with an unanswered question and consuming self-doubt, the only thing she could do was numbly go to her room and hide under the covers until she eventually fell asleep. It was cruel of him to leave her with nothing but her mind to eat away at her already fragile confidence. She knew he was struggling to figure himself out, so she couldn't hate him for it. She just wanted to know where they stood, if they even had a chance. Was that so much to ask for?
Another knock jolted her out of her thoughts, and she patted her face dry before going to the door to let Ted inside. Alex put on her best smile and welcomed his loving hug. She never had to question how much her uncle cared for her. The thought of it almost made her start crying again.
"How'd you sleep, kiddo?" Ted quipped as he looked around her semi-messy room, courtesy of her multiple outfit changes last night before going to the bar.
"Pretty good, these sheets are definitely softer than the ones on my bed back home. I think they're Egyptian cotton."
Ted sat himself on the corner of her bed. "You know, a lot of folks don't know this, but Egyptian cotton isn't as high quality as it once was. A lot of the time it's blended with regular cotton to cut costs. I guess people are just in de-nile."
Alex squinted her eyes suspiciously as he laughed at his joke. "What's going on? You only make terrible jokes like this when you're nervous about something."
Ted scratched the back of his head and looked past her at the neutral-toned wall. "Well, uh, there is something I need to talk to you about."
She noticed his shift in demeanor and instantly knew where this conversation was going. Alex wasn't about to give away that she knew something was going on between him and Rebecca. She wanted to give him the opportunity to confide in her when he was ready.
Once she sat down next him, he clasped her right hand in his. "Before I say what I came in here for, I want to start by telling you how much I love you and how much I love having you here with me."
Alex smiled through misty eyes and swallowed at the sudden pang of emotions his words hit her with. "I love you too, Uncle Ted. I'm so glad you wanted to have me here."
He smiled down at her softly, almost painfully, "It's hard to believe only a few years ago I was coming over to visit you on the farm for a cookout with the family. Michelle would immediately go help your mother in the kitchen while your dad and I argued over how to cook the burgers. You would always take Henry outside to shoot hoops in the driveway and play until the fireflies came out, even when he was being a brat about sharing the ball."
They both laughed as the memories hit them. Ted wiped bashfully at the tears leaking from his eyes. "Oh boy, here I go."
"It's okay to miss them," Alex assured him softly.
He nodded sternly, willing the tears to stop before he started unraveling all the things he's locked away about the past. "I know. I've accepted that chapter of my life has closed. At least with Michelle. I'm always going to love and respect her as Henry's mom, but I know I have to move on."
Alex rested her head against his shoulder and gave his hand a reassuring squeeze. "That storyline in your life might be over but those little side characters that held it all together will still be with you. Henry will always be apart of your life. My dad, my mom, and me – we're always going to be here for you, Uncle Ted."
She felt his arms squeeze her tight and his chin rested gently on her head. "Oh Lexie, you are so much more than a side character. I hope you know that."
"What were you wanting to talk about?" She thought it'd be best to get the conversation back on track before they were both nothing but pitiful tears.
"Right," He cleared his throat. "As I said, I'm doing my best to move on, and I've found someone who makes me feel ready to be happy again."
Alex waited patiently, with what she hoped was a neutral expression. She didn't want to scare him out of confiding in her about something so important.
"Rebecca and I have recently started seeing each other." Ted finally spouted out the words all in one breath. "She's been there for me through this dark time, and she understands the ugliness of divorce. We've bonded over having to navigate the world alone and it's turned into something I don't want to miss out on. I know there's the tricky matter of her being my boss but she makes me happy and-"
"Uncle Ted!" Alex exclaimed, putting a stop to his rambling. "Rebecca is an incredible woman. I'm happy for you."
She practically felt all of the tension deflate from his body. "Thank you, Lexie. I can't tell you how much it means to me that you're okay with this."
"Why wouldn't I be? I just want you to be happy."
Ted placed a grateful kiss on her forehead and gave her another squeeze. "Yeah, Rebecca told me you'd say that. She really adores you by the way."
Alex blushed at the compliment. "I adore her, too. Rebecca is the most powerful and confident woman I know. She inspires me to go after what I want."
"And what's that?" Ted looked down at her with genuine intrigue.
Love. "Experiences. Meeting new people and not covering up everything that makes me who I am. Rebecca inspires me to take chances."
Her uncle looked down at her with a twinkle in his eyes. "I'm proud of who you are, Lexie. I always have been."
She grinned and gave him a nudge. "I had a great teacher growing up."
After a moment of just sitting in each other's company, Ted patted her on the shoulder before standing up to stretch. "Ah, heck. It's almost game time and all I want to do is take a cat nap."
"Didn't get much sleep last night?" Alex asked cheekily.
He raised an eyebrow at her and shook his finger like a reprimanding father. "That's none of your beeswax." They shared a light-hearted chuckle. "How's about you join me and the other coaches out on the sidelines today? It'll be like old times."
Her grin wavered for a moment. Being with her uncle also meant being near Jamie, and with things as they were right now, she didn't know if she could look at him. She'd put it all out on the table for him and he walked away. Nonetheless, her uncle wanted her by his side, and she wasn't going to let him down.
"I'd love to."
Jamie focused on lacing up his trainers alongside the other players in the visitor's locker room. To his dismay, Lexie was standing in the corner with the kitman, helping him fill up the water bottles. Every few minutes, he could feel her green eyes piercing holes into him as he forced himself not to look at her. If he did, he probably wouldn't be able to stop himself from going to her and letting it all out.
After talking with Roy, he knew what decision he was going to make, but he was going to do it the right way. First, he would speak to Lasso privately and tell him everything that's happened- well, not everything. Then, if Lasso doesn't end up chopping off his balls, he'll go to Lexie and do all the things he's longed to do since their kiss on the pitch.
Right now, Jamie needed to concentrate on the game. Liverpool was a tough competitor, and they needed this win to continue the season. He couldn't let everyone down.
"You alright, bruv?" Isaac snapped him out of his inner monologue.
He looked up at his captain. "'m fine, yeah. Just tryin' to stay focused on killing those Liverpool twats."
Isaac hesitated before saying, "I'm just worried about you, mate. That's the fourth time you've laced your trainers."
Jamie was about to reply, but he was interrupted by Coach Beard's booming voice as the coaches came strutting in.
"Alright, gentlemen listen up!" All the conversation came to a halt as Coach Beard pulled his whiteboard to the center of the room and began going over plays.
"Liverpool is going to be bringing the heavy defense tonight. We're going to be pulling all the stops, so be prepared." Beard finished, before giving Lasso the floor to speak.
"It's nothing we haven't done in practice. Just do what you know and trust each other out there, alright? Richmond on three, let's go!"
"1, 2, 3, Richmond!" The huddle broke to start heading out to the pitch. Jamie glanced to his right to see Alex already staring back at him. He noticed the skin under her eyes was a bit darker than normal and her natural glow was missing. Did she not sleep last night? Guilt churned in his stomach at the realization of him being the reason for her current state.
His eyes softened for a moment before he was swept up in the male energy of his teammates. He tried glancing back at her as they strode out of the locker room, but she was lost in the sea of blue and red.
Coach Beard had been right about Liverpool bringing their best defense. Their seemingly never-ending energy paired with the electricity of the prideful crowd definitely gave them an advantage. Jamie gritted his teeth at the sound of the whistle, in favor of Liverpool for a penalty kick.
He looked over to the sidelines and saw his favorite red-headed girl spitting out insults at the referee. Roy Kent was standing to her right, looking impressed and proud. While Lasso was speaking gently in her ear, as if trying to calm her down. Jamie did his best to conceal his grin at her adorable attempt of intimidating the referee.
Focus.
The penalty kick went into motion. Luckily the shot was blocked by Zoreaux and the ball was back in Jan Maas' possession. Richmond was quickly making their way down the pitch back into Liverpool's territory. Jan kicked the ball across the field into the possession of Rojas. He quickly delivered a powerful angled kick into the goal but was blocked. Jamie was tracking Liverpool's best offensive player, Diogo Jota, staying close to hopefully regain possession.
"Who's the bird next to Lasso?" The little prat asked Jamie smugly. "She looks like a good time."
Jamie felt his face flood with warmth and suddenly his world shrunk to solely the fucking wanker in front of him. He gritted his teeth and gave Jota a warning nudge with his chest. "I'd stop talkin' if I were you, mate."
His response only seemed to amuse the Liverpool player. His dimpled smile was nothing but mischief and arrogance as he gave Alex another look. "Is she with Yankee Doodle? Or do you all get to fuck her?"
Before the other player could react, Jamie's fist connected with his jaw. His vision was instantly a blur of red and blue. Voices were shouting in all different directions. Whistles were being blown. Various hands were tugging at his jersey.
Sam and Dani had managed to pull him down the pitch, away from the taunting little shit who was grinning with bloody teeth. Jamie was usually the one to get under the other team's skin. He didn't like not being in control of the game. Or even his own fucking life for that matter.
One of the referees stalked over with a red card dangling from his hand. "You're out, Tartt."
The rest of Richmond were baffled and tried to argue with the referee, but Jamie knew it would be no use. He shook his head and scoffed out a laugh before walking off the pitch. All of his coaches were watching him with looks of concern and disbelief. He wasn't sure what look Alex was giving him. Truthfully, he was better off not knowing right now. He trained his eyes forward and walked past his stunned coaches without explanation.
He knew it was the half when the sound of dozens of men talking carried into the locker room and the door busted open. They all looked sweaty and tired as hell. One by one they plopped onto the benches, all side eyeing Jamie as they did so.
"Alright fellas," Ted Lasso's light-hearted but serious tone filled the room. "Now that we have some time to chit chat, does anyone want to tell me what the hell happened out there?"
There was a silence in the room. All the eyes meeting in the middle of the bench to land on Jamie, who had his head down as he prepared for the onslaught of questions and reprimanding.
"Jamie?" Beard prodded. "Seeing how you were the one ejected from the game, you're probably the right person to ask."
"The prick said something that pissed me off." Was all he said. He wanted to say more, much more. But he knew it would blow the lid off of everything he was trying to do right. Alex deserved better than him airing out their personal lives to the entire team.
Lasso stuffed his hands into his pockets and nodded. "Okay," He rubbed his mustache in false pondering. "So, this fella was talkin' trash - something you deal with all the time - and you decided it was worth throwing the game over?"
Jamie clenched his teeth in frustration. "He pissed me off and I went mental. I don't know what else you want me to say." He looked up finally at everyone staring at him in frustrated disappointment, except for one person. His paused for a fraction of a second to linger on her empathetic eyes, and that soft smile that told him he wasn't alone. "I'm sorry, Coach. I know I messed up."
"Yeah, well don't apologize to me. Apologize to your team mates you just left out in the cold." Lasso muttered and looked around at his discouraged team. "Just because Jamie is out doesn't mean we don't have a shot. Coach Beard, run them through the second half."
Jamie nodded his head, accepting the harsh dismissal Lasso just gave him. He knew he reacted selfishly and now their season might be over. There was no point to him being here right now, not after letting everyone down.
He began abruptly collecting his things and made his way towards the door. As he was walking out, he heard her soft voice calling him, trying to bring him back to the moment. But he was too lost in his self-disappointment to listen.
Ted Lasso whistled to himself as he walked through the doors of Nelson Road Stadium. It had been a few days since the game in Liverpool and he was feeling pretty darn good. They ended up winning against Liverpool, thanks to two goals from Rojas and a penalty kick by Obisanya.
That game had a bumpy start, but he had faith his players would turn it around. However, he knew he'd need to squeeze in a little one-on-one with Jamie soon. He wasn't acting like himself these past few weeks and Ted wanted to get to the bottom of it. The last thing he wanted was for his team to be keeping secrets from him. For their own good, and for the team's overall success.
Rebecca told him to be patient and wait for Jamie to come to him when he was ready. Yet he knew Jamie came from an environment in which talking about feelings wasn't exercised. The young footballer was as sealed shut as a clam when it came to sharing his emotions. He'd left the game during the half and was as quiet as a mouse on the trip back to Richmond.
Maybe he could get Roy's help to figure out how to talk to Jamie. The two seemed to be growing a closer bond. Okay, maybe that was a bit of a stretch, but they no longer hated each other at least. And that was truly a remarkable achievement.
Ted waltzed into his office to find Beard already in his usual position and reading a well-worn novel titled Who Will Cry When You Die?
"Doing some light reading this fine Monday morning, coach?" Ted quipped as he rid himself of his jacket and draped it over his chair.
"I like to start my week off with a bang." Beard replied in his usual monotone voice, clearly immersed in the writings of Robin Sharma.
Ted chuckled under his breath as he sat down in his semi-comfortable chair. It had nothing on the La-Z-Boy recliner he had in his college dorm, but it would do just fine. He looked down to open his planner and found a yellow envelope sitting on top of it. After finding there was no name on the package, his always rampant curiosity spurred him to open it quickly.
He pulled out a photograph that halted his breath and caused everything around him to fade into the background. His eyes flickered across the picture with confusion and disbelief. The image showed Lexie pressed against a hotel wall by Jamie Tartt. They were clearly familiar with each other; his hands were placed on her hips as she kissed the corner of his mouth.
Numbly, Ted pulled out a small piece of paper that was still inside the envelope.
This is what your star player gets up to behind your back. Be careful who you trust.
As always, thank you so much for reading! Let me know your thoughts with a comment, I love hearing from you! : ) xoxo