Complicated

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Chapter One-Rey and Rose

It was only in the darkest hours of the night that Rey allowed herself to admit she missed him. Lying in her cramped cot in the small section of the cave that she had claimed for her own use, she remained wide awake, her pale skin shining with perspiration as she stoically endured the humid heat of the jungle moon.

The Resistance had established a base on the jungle moon Ajan Kloss after their former base on D'Qar was eliminated by the First Order. It contained two parts: A small landing zone for the Resistance's starfighters; and a natural cave used as a hangar for the Tantive IV. The natural limestone cave was close to the starfighter landing zone and was not only used as a hangar for the Tantive IV, but for the command centre for the Resistance as well. Because the base was still in its early stages of construction, General Leia Organa's command ship, the Tantive IV, also served as a generator, barracks, and a primary meeting spot. The command centre was on the left side of the cave, with the Tantive IV in the middle, and Rey's Jedi section on the far-right side. There was also a small room that served as Organa's bedroom, while everyone else who wasn't on duty slept in the Tantive IV.

Since Rey had fled the outpost on Crait with what was left of the Resistance, she had worked hard to not to think of Ben at all, or what had happened on Snoke's ship, or about their intimate Force bond sessions on Ahch-to. Still feeling raw and betrayed that he had refused to let go of the persona of Kylo Ren and return to the light, Rey had buried her hurt feelings behind an indifferent mask. During their last Force bond on Crait, before she had severed their connection, she had stared at Ben, her gaze level and unafraid. She showed no emotion in her eyes, no hatred, but there was no compassion, either. He no longer deserved that from her.

That's what she told herself anyway. In the daylight hours, when she was constantly surrounded by others, she could keep up the pretence that she didn't care. But in the dark hours of the night, the truth spilled out of her. Despairing tears would well in her eyes, spilling down her hot cheeks, and sliding into her mouth. With no one looking and judging, she allowed herself to grieve the loss of her connection to Ben, to mourn the loss of the only one she felt had ever truly understood the depth of her loneliness and pain.

She was alone again. Always alone.

They had a new ally. A spy in the First Order. This knowledge gave the beleaguered Resistance new hope. However faint, it meant that someone was on their side. General Organa had figured that the spy had to be someone quite high up in the chain of command, some of the information he had passed on would only be available to someone who had close access to the new Supreme Leader. Wanting to tread carefully with this valuable insight into the workings of the First Order, the General had given Rose Tico the responsibility of communicating with the spy on their behalf.

Part of the support crew that kept the Resistance starfighters flying, Rose had hated the First Order since she was a child. Now able to fight back against the enemy, Rose was well known for keeping her focus on her mission. Her experiences on Crait had only solidified her resolve to bring the First Order down by fighting to save those she loved.

After her heroics on Crait, Rose had been promoted to be the leader of the Engineering Corps by General Organa. During the course of the first few weeks on Ajan Kloss, Organa assigned Rose's talents to developing new technology and techniques to prevent hyperspace tracking, and to help counter other new advancements in First Order technology. Rose worked with the Resistance droid pool to construct biohexacrypt codes in the pursuit of bypassing First Order jamming or interception, and was integral to decoding the first message the First Order spy sent them through a secure channel. It was one of the reasons General Organa had entrusted her with such a vital role.

It was the middle of the night and Rose was getting ready to contact the mysterious Gingerflower-the secret codename the spy had chosen for himself. During their first tense conversation over the secure channel, the spy and Rose had mutually decided to adopt codenames, ones only they would recognise as a further security measure in an attempt to further protect themselves in case their private communications were ever intercepted by others. If Gingerflower couldn't contact her in person over the channel, by signing off a message with his codename, Rose would always be sure it was coming from him.

Glancing over her shoulder several times to make sure that no one was watching, Rose flipped a switch and opened the channel. "GF, are you there?" She whispered so she wouldn't be overheard.

"You're late, RP." Gingerflower greeted her impatiently.

Rose hid her smile of amusement. She couldn't remember when they had started using the shortened version of their codenames. She had combined her first name with her beloved sister's-Rose-Paige. During their initial discussion about using codenames, Rose wondered if GF had used the first portion of hers for inspiration to add on the word flower to the end of his. Just the thought gave her a secret thrill, just like their late-night conversations did. In a weird way it made her feel special.

For security reasons they were only supposed to be in contact once a week, but their conversations had become so addictive that they were now contacting each other nightly.

"Did you miss me, GF?" Rose teased.

Gingerflower nervously cleared his throat. "I am used to people being prompt, that's all."

"You were worried about me?" Rose persisted. "Admit it?"

Gingerflower let out a resigned sigh. "I admit nothing."

"That's a yes, then." Rose laughed quietly. She pictured her imaginary version of GF rolling his eyes. She wished she knew what he looked like. She guessed she would never know, and that thought made her feel suddenly sad.

"Are you still there, RP?" Gingerflower asked anxiously when she didn't say anything further.

"I'm here." Rose murmured.

"What's wrong?"

"Nothing." Rose said flatly.

There was a momentary pause before Gingerflower responded, and when he spoke his tone was much softer, hesitant. "I did." He confessed.

"Did what?"

"Miss you." Gingerflower confessed haltingly. "Our conversations are the only things keeping me sane at the moment."

"Are you okay? What's happening your end? You don't think you've been discovered?" Rose kept her voice low but her anxiety was still apparent.

"I don't think so." Gingerflower reassured her. "But things are very tense. I continue to be careful. The Supreme Leader is very restless. He hardly sleeps. He endlessly paces his quarters at night. He remains obsessed with finding the scavenger."

Rose's eyebrows shot up in surprise at this news. "I see." She murmured. "Any further hint on his plans?"

"I am not privy to those." Gingerflower let bitterness creep into his voice. "The Supreme Leader is a law unto himself. He is a contemptible man."

"Your d – "Rose stopped talking when she heard movement coming from somewhere to the left of her. "I have to go, GF." She whispered hurriedly as she flipped the switch and cut him off, ceasing all communication.

Rose stared around warily, straining her eyes as she peered through the gloom. Out of the corner of her eye she caught a flash of white, she slipped out of her chair and crouched low to hide her presence from whoever was wandering the base so late at night. Holding her breath, she kept her gaze steady, catching the flash of white again, she finally realised it was Rey she was seeing. The young Jedi was restless, pacing around in fitful circles, much like GF had described the Supreme Leader.

"How strange?" Rose thought to herself fleetingly. She didn't dwell on it, however. Exhaustion was creeping up on her, and she had another early start in the morning. Moving as quietly as she could, Rose crept away from her console and disappeared in the direction of her own quarters, leaving Rey to her own devices.

Rey sensed him before she saw him, his presence as familiar as her own breath. He materialised in front of her, clad in black as always. She wondered if he had any other colour in his wardrobe. Then castigated herself for such a useless thought. He stood staring at her in foreboding silence. She stared back at him, trying to rearrange her features into a haughty expression. This was their first Force bond since she had cut him off at Crait, and she hated the secret thrill of relief that washed through her at the sight of his intimidating presence.

"What do you want?" Rey demanded.

"I should be asking you that." Kylo snapped back. "I didn't initiate this."

"Liar." Rey retorted.

"I've never lied to you." Kylo said simply.

Now the shock of seeing him was wearing off, Rey took the time to notice other things about him. Like the fact that he looked weary, the shadows under his eyes were like purple bruises. If she thought about it, they matched her own. He clearly hadn't been sleeping. Neither had she. Even though he was wearing black, he was dressed casually…well, causal for him, if lack of gloves and cape could be deemed casual. She couldn't see his surroundings, but guessed he must be in his private quarters.

"Then why is this happening?" Rey finally asked.

"It's happening because you wanted it to happen." Kylo pointed out reasonably. "I wasn't the one who severed our connection. You were the one who closed the door on it. Which means you were the only one with the ability to reopen it."

"That's not true!" Rey denied heatedly.

"You can lie to yourself, Rey. But I know the truth. You wanted this. You miss our connection, just as much as I do." Kylo countered, his dark eyes were overbright, almost yearning.

Rey backed off, determined not to be drawn in by a pair of pretty eyes again. Hadn't Luke accused her of that once? Her memory was getting sketchy. She opened her mouth to tell him to go kiss a rather, but he moved too fast, into her space so that he loomed above her. "You want this." He said huskily, his warm breath close to her ear made her shiver. "Admit it."

"I admit nothing."

"Why do you keep denying what you really want, Rey?" Kylo said, his voice gentle, almost coaxing. "No matter how far you run from me, I will find you."

Rey shook her head weakly. She was stronger than this, she was. She closed her eyes and pushed him away mentally. The ground tilted, she staggered, opening her eyes again to find that he was gone.

She was alone.

Again.

A/N-thanks for reading.