Journeys & Jovial Manners
On the very same morning when Caroline Bingley was dismissed from Netherfield, Jane Bingley returned to her husband in hopes of comforting him. When she entered his study, she found his hair disheveled. Bingley's eyes held bags beneath them while his cheeks were wet from the tears of dismissing a family member. She walked beside him and brought her arms around his chest. Jane felt his shoulders relax beneath her.
In turn, he brought his body around to face her. Looking into his eyes, she saw grief. Looking into hers, he saw comfort. The couple had long ago borne their souls to one another. They no longer required words to explain the emotions which they felt, whether it be love, fear, joy, heartbreak, sorrow, or guilt. Theirs was a love brought on by mutual admiration, not lust or simply physical attraction. Jane wished to bear the grief with her husband. If he took on this burden alone, it would consume him.
"Caroline made her own choices. She was taught right from wrong. Her poor decisions do not reflect badly on your character in my eyes, nor in the eyes of our family. Those are whose opinions matter the most. Perhaps, this change of circumstance may bring out the very best in her. We shall wait and see. In time, she may yet change. I know there is goodness in her, as I know there is goodness in you."
"Thank you, my dear. Your words of encouragement strengthen me during such trying times. Your presence calms my soul and relieves the pain which overwhelms meme." The couple remained there, holding one another during the first moments of peace seen at Netherfield quite some time. Their state of mutual support and comfort lasted for several hours without interruption.
Mary Bennet went about her mornings as she usually did: playing the pianoforte, reading, and waiting for callers. She sat with her mother, sisters, and now with the addition of Miss Darcy as their neighbors awaited to spread the gossip from Meryton. However, with the changes in Mrs. Bennet's character, she was less inclined to contribute to such activities as criticizing their neighbors and making a mockery of herself. Although not officially out, Georgiana could spend tea time with the Bennet family as neighbors came calling. It was a late July day while going through her usual routine that a letter arrived addressed to Mary. this event disrupted all semblance of familiarity in her day. Upon closer inspection, she discovered it was from her Aunt Gardiner.
My Dear Mary,
After the events of the past year, your uncle and I would like to invite you on a trip into Derbyshire a senight hence. Justly, you may wish to be at Longbourn when Lizzy delivers the baby. Your Uncle and I are in agreement and believe a change of scenery may be in your best interest. We hope you would like to come with us, but understand if you are unable to accompany us on our journey. We eagerly await your response.
As Always,
Madeline Gardiner
Excitement and anticipation immediately filled her senses, for the first time in months she was truly happy. This happiness was short-lived as Mary concluded that she could not journey away from Longbourn, or Lizzy. After Jane married and moved to Netherfield, Mary took on more responsibilities. With Lizzy's pregnancy, she took on even more tasks. She was needed at Longbourn with her family and that was enough. Mary had wished she could venture out of the world she knew. Having never traveled further north than Hertfordshire, she longed to see the beauty of the world. She wished to remedy that. Perhaps someday she might, but not now. Letter in hand, Mary returned to her room and stored the letter away. A response declining the offer would be written on the morrow. She would stay at Longbourn for the summer; as it should be.
Mary returned to her sister's room. Lizzy lay in bed whilst Georgiana read to her from Aristotle. Georgiana's voice was soothing and melodic which made the next words she uttered all the more profound.
"Fear is pain arising from the anticipation of evil."
Georgiana paused her reading, allowing all three women to meditate on the words of the ancient philosopher. To each, it brought on differing personal revelations. Georgiana pondered on the consequences of her actions regarding Wickham. She feared her ability to choose well for herself. Perhaps she was inherently evil. After all, if good attracts good and there is opposition in all things, evil would in fact attract evil.
Mary's thoughts turned to her letter which she received. She was to refuse an offer, but why? Because she feared living her own life. She feared leaving the safety of her home, for Lizzy had done so as had Lydia and both faced struggles as a result. However, Jane found herself in a rather pleasant situation, she supposed it depended upon the hands one was given. Looking through the glass of the lives of her sisters, Mary concluded that she feared the unknown. Additionally, she began to fear her past self, in the past months, under Lizzy's direct influence, she had become an enhanced version of herself. No longer did she praise sermons night and day, but found joy in the simplest of tasks. If she left the confines of Longbourn, was it possible she would return to her old ways? Her greatest enemy was indeed the Mary Bennet of old. She prayed she would never have to face her again.
Elizabeth's contemplations were much darker. Given her present circumstances, it was only natural that such a profound statement would cause her to meditate on her position as an expectant mother. She feared her child would share traits of its father. Her mind turned to the grievances he caused her, the pain and anguish. Tears welled in her eyes. The anticipation and fear alone built up and encased her in darkness; the darkness which only she could rescue herself from. She knew such unpleasant thoughts were not good for her state. Elizabeth slowed down her speeding heart rate by focusing her breaths. A few minutes later, her body now relaxed, she met with dreams.
Mary returned to her room to peruse the invitation sent from her Aunt Gardiner. With Aristotle's words in mind, she found the courage within herself to face the unknown. To forge her own destiny. Returning downstairs, she made her way to her father's bookroom to seek his permission. Finding him seated at his desk, she handed him the letter.
Looking up, Mr. Bennet asked, "Mary, do you wish to venture out into Derbyshire with your aunt and uncle?"
"Yes, father. I am aware my actions may cause pain for Lizzy, which is why I shall speak with her directly following this interview. My aunt is correct, I require rest from Longbourn for a time. I am certain this holiday shall be exactly what I need. I am determined."
"Mary," he said, "I very well cannot act against that logic now can I? If this is what you wish, then of course I shall give you my consent. Now go speak with your sister, then write back to your aunt."
"Thank you, father." She kissed his cheek, then ran up the stairs to find her sister still asleep.
She sat at one of the chairs which had been brought in to keep Lizzy company. Mary silently began to read from Shakespeare's sonnets. After a three-quarter hour further, Elizabeth awoke. She looked all around her and saw Mary sitting in a chair with a book in hand. Georgiana was embroidering a cushion cover.
"Hello, how long was I asleep?" She asked through a yawn.
"Just over an hour Lizzy, it is nothing to worry yourself over. It is good for you and the baby to get plenty of rest when your energy is lacking."
"Thank you, Mary."
"Of course Lizzy." She paused and took a deep breath to calm her troubling nerves. "Lizzy, I have a matter of great importance to seek your opinion on. May I do so now?"
"Indeed Mary, what is the matter?"
"Aunt and Uncle Gardiner have offered for me to journey with them to Derbyshire. They intend to leave in a senight and stay in the area for a fortnight. I know your final lying-in is fast approaching, but I believe that I shall return prior to that day. You shall not be alone, as Mama and Georgiana will be here to bring you comfort. I wish to do this, but one word from you will silence me on this subject."
"Oh Mary, of course, you should go to Derbyshire. The mere fact that you ask shows how much you have matured in these past months. Indeed I am grateful for your support and comfort, but upon the birth, there shall be little peace at Longbourn for some time. Pray, go and enjoy yourself." She said warmly with outreaching arms to engulf her sister in a comforting embrace.
"Mary," Georgiana looked up from her embroidery, "I am very pleased you shall be going into my home county. After all, Derbyshire is very beautiful and peaceful. I believe you may very well fall in love with the peaks and the woods which surround the area I am fortunate enough to call my home. I pray you and the Gardiners will visit Pemberley. It is so beautiful at this time of year."
"Our Aunt is from Lambton. We might very well spend time in the area. I would prefer to see the house with you, but if you would like us to tour the house, then I am sure we would be happy to."
"Of course I want you to see the house, we shall miss you terribly while you are away. Only the hope that you shall bring back stories of your adventure and tell them to us upon your return, will fill your absence." Georgiana smiled at her friend, hopeful that she would enjoy her trip. Shortly thereafter, Georgiana sat down and penned a letter to her dear brother.
A senight later found the Gardiner carriage pulling into the drive of Longbourn, its occupants excited to see their nieces. Their children had been left in London under the care of their nanny. The master and mistress of Longbourn, their daughters capable of doing so, and Miss Georgiana Darcy all greeted their company as the carriage pulled to a stop. While Georgiana had previously met the Gardiners, she was eager to become better acquainted with the couple. After hearing wonderful things about them, she was looking forward to speaking with Mrs. Gardiner of her Derbyshire origins. Georgiana found the Gardiners to be genteel people, despite being in trade. The evening went well and soon enough Mary, Georgie, Kitty, and Lizzy were in Lizzy's room to say goodbye to Mary.
"Mary, how proud I am of you and the woman you have become. You have earned this trip. Please enjoy it, my dear. Enjoy the solitude and tranquility. I love you very much, sister." Lizzy teased.
"Oh Lizzy, I know that my departure may be difficult for you, but Georgie is here. She and Mama will oversee all further preparations before the baby's birth." Turning to Georgiana, Mary continued. "Georgie if she begins to have severe pains in her midsection, send a note for the midwife and another to Netherfield. Jane will wish to be here. This should not happen while I am away, but if it does indeed occur, pray see to it. Enjoy yourselves and I might return with gifts for all, including your baby."
Mary and the Gardiners were soon in the carriage heading northward towards Derbyshire. As she sat in the carriage, Mary reflected on the great heaviness within her chest. Her goodbyes were difficult. The guilt that consumed her was great indeed. These somber reflections surely must have been clearly evident, for Mrs. Gardiner spoke up.
"My dear Mary, I know your disposition. You feel the guilt of leaving your sister while she nears the end of her confinement. You wish to be here when this event comes about. But know this, Elizabeth wishes for you to go on this journey with us. If it troubles you so much, we can turn this carriage around and take you directly back to Longbourn. What say you?"
Meeting her aunt's eyes, Mary knew she had no real need to feel guilt and the words formed before she thought them through. "Knowing Lizzy wishes for me to be here is encouragement enough. I must apologize for my melancholy mood whilst in the carriage. I should very much like to continue onto Derbyshire." And so it was, their carriage continued.
As they ventured across the sights and beauties of the county, Mary found herself at peace. She scarcely had seen anything more beautiful than the untamed nature of the peaks themselves. Walking through Chatsworth made her hopeful for her sister's future. If Pemberley was anything as lovely as the beauty of this estate, she knew Elizabeth would be content to walk the illustrious groves which Georgiana described in such detail. If Lizzy and Mr. Darcy were to ever find happiness together, Mary believed her sister would be content.
With Mrs. Gardiner's affinity for Pemberley, the group set off for the estate. Little did they know that prior to their arrival into Derbyshire, two letters were sent from Georgiana to Pemberley; one to the Master and one to the Housekeeper. The morning in which their party intended to make the five-mile journey from the Inn in Lambton to Pemberley, Mary became hesitant with their plans. She knew that Georgiana intended for her to visit the estate, but she felt unwelcome knowing that Mr. Darcyーwith whom Elizabeth had not great previous interactions withーresided in the house. Her uneasiness was apparent to her aunt and uncle as they sought to console. The couple offered to forgo their plans. Nevertheless, Mary sought to take a page from her sister's book and declared that her courage would rise at every attempt to intimidate her.
As the trio made its way into the woods which surrounded Pemberley, Mary was amazed at how extensive the property was. Of course, she had heard of its grandeur from Georgiana, but her modesty was apparent as Mary witnessed the beautifully situated house. Lizzy, if you become Mistress of such a house, I now apologize for this must be a serious undertaking indeed. As they pulled into the drive, they were shown to the Housekeeper Mrs. Reynolds for a tour. Unbeknownst to them, Mr. Darcy had previously asked to be informed if these particular individuals arrived at his doorstep.
Just before they were to begin the tour, they were greeted by none other than the Master himself who bore a smile upon his face and bowed before speaking. "Mr. Gardiner, Mrs. Gardiner, Miss Bennet, how good it is to see you all again. I heard it from my sister that you would be touring Derbyshire, I am so very glad that you could make it to Pemberley."
"We thank you for welcoming us to Pemberley Mr. Darcy, I have never visited the house before, but Mrs. Gardiner as you know is a Lambton native." Mr. Gardiner said kindly returning the gentleman's bow.
"I am glad that both you Mr. Gardiner and Miss Bennet shall be able to enjoy Pemberley for the first time. I also wish for Mrs. Gardiner it may be all as you remember it. I have anticipated your visit since I received the letter from Georgiana announcing your plans. I very much enjoyed our evening together in London."
"Have you heard from Georgiana? Is there any news regarding my sister?" Mary's love for her sister was made evident through the anxiety on display in her tone. Since they had been traveling about the country for several days and had not stayed in any place long enough to receive word. She was concerned for her sister's wellbeing.
"I have heard from Georgiana, she said nothing other than Mrs. Collins is doing well. The pair continue to go about their daily routine as usual."
"Thank you, Mr. Darcy, I appreciate any news. The welfare of my sister is of the utmost importance to our party. It took a great deal of convincing on Elizabeth's part to convince me to come on this tour with my aunt and uncle." Mary confessed.
"I understand. I am glad to be of use." He said in a jovial tone with a smile. The trio walked through the gallery, Mary was astounded as to how many Darcys there have been before Mr. Darcy. If she were in Elizabeth's place, she might have been distracted by the painting of the master, but she took joy in learning about the history of the estate.
Mr. Darcy invited the Gardiners and Miss Bennet to dine with them for the next evening, they agreed. The group made a merry party and enjoyed each other's company greatly. Mary was forced to admit to herself that the standoffish, taciturn, and proud Mr. Darcy was no more and she was fully prepared to give her approval should Lizzy turn to her for guidance.
Too soon, they began their journey home for they wished to not miss anything for Lizzy's sake. Unbeknownst to them, another carriage began its journey into Hertfordshire shortly thereafter theirs from Derbyshire with the same purpose in mind.
A/N: Hey y'all! Guess what story is back from purgatory? Well obviously you know, cause you just read the chapter, but "An Odious Match" is back! Before I begin this, I want to thank every one of you for supporting me throughout the journey that this story has taken. The last time I updated this was over two years ago and I find that very hard to wrap my brain around. Many of you have wished for this to continue and have been incredibly patient and kind and I appreciate it so very much. Now, this chapter is setting up quite a bit for future chapters. Many of which are in the final stages, but I am hoping to get further along with them before I post them. I hope to release about two chapters a week on this story until it's done...be patient with me. Additionally, keep in mind I started this my senior year of high school, so some of the writing in the early chapters is a little rough. Let me know if y'all would like me to go through and edit everything. I am reluctant to do it but will do so if it is what you guys want.
Random question to any other writers out there...Does anyone else have like 15-or 20-different story ideas at a time that distract you from staying focused? Or is this just me? And the best ideas always happen at 3 in the morning. Why is that? Perhaps my insomnia manifests itself in brilliant story ideas which I will never have time for, but live rent-free in my brain nonetheless. I think that's why I like writing short stories so much, because I can get the idea out there quickly and focus my attention on the bigger projects, like this.
As always, smile, have a great day, and be kind!
-Camille