Author's Note: For year 5, I've decided to try to update more often with smaller chapters. Happy Holidays & I hope you enjoy!
Harry strolled onto the train platform with all his admirers gawking at him as usual. Not that he would notice if some of them were muttering about whatever slanderous nonsense the newspapers may have printed. He assumed they were all in awe of his magnificent muscles.
A moment later, after his honeys bid their mum farewell, the trio found a cabin on the train where Lavender Brown was waiting for them. She and Parvati hugged and started chatting a mile a minute while Harry and Padma got their robes and badges on.
"Don't have too much fun without me," Parvati teased.
"I just hope it won't take too long," Padma replied. "I have a feeling Harry is going to do something-"
"Awesome?" he suggested with a grin.
"Something that will give me a headache," Padma said with a fond little sigh. "Would it kill you to try not to go all macho and ridiculous for once?"
"Yeah, it probably would," Harry shrugged. "I don't want to develop any bad habits."
Parvati and Lavender giggled at him. "I have a feeling you're going to drive Hermione extra crazy this year."
"Well, weren't you ladies going to try to hook her up with some dude so she would chill out?" he asked.
"That's easier said than done for someone like Hermione," Lavender answered. "For one thing, we'd have to drag her out of the library."
"And do so without being hexed," Parvati added.
"I have an idea, actually," Padma confessed.
"Really? Why haven't you said anything before now?" her sister wondered.
"I was just thinking about how Harry and I are going to have to do rounds as prefects sometimes," Padma said. "Since we're in different houses, normally we wouldn't be doing them at the same time. But, if we switched partners-"
"Then, Hermione would have to spend some alone time with Anthony Goldstein," Parvati finished with a huge smile. "Have I told you that you're brilliant lately?"
"Not nearly enough," Padma answered with a smug little grin.
"You're brilliant and beautiful, babe," Harry said as he wrapped an arm around her and helped her to her feet. "Now, how about we go see which lesser mortals have been chosen to make the two of us look totally amazing as prefects?"
She rolled her eyes even as they walked out the door.
"Oh, you have got to be shitting me," Harry groaned as he walked into the prefects' meeting.
"What's the matter, Potter? Can't handle being in the company of real wizards?" Malfoy sneered.
Harry took two quick steps and smashed the little whiner's head into the wall, knocking him unconscious.
"What's the meaning of this?" one of the older students asked.
Harry just sat down and pulled Padma onto his lap. "I was just shutting that snotty little bastard up so we can get on with things."
"He should be happy, really," Padma laughed. "At least he didn't get his teeth knocked out this time."
"Is this because Potter hates Slytherins?" Parkinson asked.
"I don't hate Slytherins, though," Harry replied with a confused look. "Just Malfoy."
"Don't forget Snape," Padma reminded him.
"Yeah. At least I only have to have one more year with the greasy sleazebag."
Hermione came running into the compartment and sat down next to them. "I'm not late, am I?"
"We've still got a few minutes before we have to start," the head girl said.
"Oh, thank goodness," she replied before noticing Malfoy. "I take it this is Harry's work?"
"Yappy little idiot should know better," he shrugged. "It's not my fault he can't seem to learn anything. Besides, it will probably sink in one of these days."
"Potter's right," one of the older Slytherin girls added. "Malfoy would just cause problems. I say we leave him. Pansy, you'll just have to fill him in later."
Parkinson frowned but agreed. "As long as Potter doesn't punch me too."
"I'm not really the type of guy that would hit a girl," he shrugged.
"Not even if she really deserved it," Padma added with a glance over at Parkinson. "So, you're safe for now."
"Eh, if a chick was being that much of a problem, I'd just point Parvati at her," Harry replied.
"Not me?" Padma asked.
"Only for really, super serious threats," he answered. "You're way more vicious than her."
Padma laughed and nodded. "And don't you forget it."
Hermione sighed. "I'm going to be in for a long year, I just know it."
She spotted her prey as they exited the prefects meeting and cautiously moved to follow them. There was enough of a crowd that it should have been tricky, but they of course parted for her majestic form, the boys all leering while the jealousy of the girls was palpable. Her navy blue dress was carefully chosen to be sleek and sensual without being too revealing- she didn't want anyone to actually think they might have a chance with her, after all.
Finally reaching her targets, Daphne knocked at the closed door of their compartment and entered a moment later.
"Patil, Potter, Patil," she inclined her head very slightly as her eyes skimmed the three of them. "I have a business proposition for you."
"What type of business?" Brown asked from the other side.
Daphne's eyes glanced at her with a brief hint of malice. "The private kind, Brown."
"Give us a few minutes, Lavender," Parvati said with a smile. "I'll come find you when we're done."
"I guess there may be a few boys worth flirting with," Brown grinned. "Even better if I find out who may have filled out over the summer."
Once the flighty gossip left, Daphne sat down across from the trio. She noticed that the Gryffindor twin was more relaxed, a pleasant look on her face as she leaned against Potter. Her Ravenclaw sister was more obviously suspicious, which led Daphne to focusing her attention on her. Potter was his usual mindless, reckless self with those muscles, and those eyes, and the funny little smile that made her want to...
Focus, Daphne!
"What can we do for you, Greengrass?" Padma asked her.
"Since you and Potter have already been to the prefects' meeting, you will have obviously seen the gross miscarriage of justice," she replied as neutrally as possible.
"Huh?" Potter frowned.
"I think I understand, but please go on," Padma said.
"Something needs to be done to correct things, and I mean to make Snape pay for his incompetence." Daphne struggled to keep her cool. "Since it is well known that the sneering idiot has an enormous grudge against Potter, I assumed that he would be the best tool to show my displeasure. Of course, that meant I would also have to involve the three of you since you have all been attached at the hip for so long, but I am open to negotiating."
"What are you talking about?" he asked with a dumbstruck look and Daphne's subconscious wished that it had been because he was staring at her rather than merely not understanding the circumstances.
"Do you have any idea how hard I worked to become the Slytherin Ice Queen?" she stood angrily and began to pace. "No one has managed to do so as a fourth year since Narcissa Black almost twenty five years ago. I earned my reputation. But now a useless pathetic man has let his obvious biases give that pug faced twit Parkinson the badge that rightly should have been mine. That means he must pay."
"You actually call yourself the Ice Queen?" Parvati giggled. "I thought that was just a nickname because you're so cranky."
"I'm not cranky," Daphne hissed. "I am properly aloof to keep foolish little boys from believing they have any hope of ever being worthy of my presence."
"Okay, now I'm curious," Padma interjected. "How does someone become the Slytherin Ice Queen?"
"There are several requirements," she sat down as she began to explain. "One must be of good breeding, obviously, as we are Slytherins. Intelligence and wit are necessary as well; despite my hair color, I can assure you that I am not a dumb blonde. Beauty is certainly required as well, to assure that those beneath us have something to aspire towards. Proper comportment so that one does not have any flaws or failures that can be used against-"
"What's comportment?" Harry interrupted.
"Behavior," Padma replied before turning back to Daphne. "Go on, please."
She found herself glaring at Potter for a moment even as his goofy furrowed brow made her want to do something out of character. It resulted in a lack of clarity that ended with her spouting off, "Do you have any idea how many people I turned down for the Yule Ball? Forty seven!"
"So, who did you go with?" he asked.
"I went alone," she retorted. "As if any of them were good enough to be my date? I know it may be hard for you, Potter, but try not to be ridiculous."
Parvati laughed. "I don't think Harry can be anything other than ridiculous."
"Yeah, but you love me anyway," he chuckled as his arm squeezed her.
A part of Daphne that she certainly did not listen to felt annoyed and jealous of the affection on display.
"What exactly is it that you want?" Padma wondered.
"I believe the entire school knows that Potter enjoys reprimanding Snape, so I would like to negotiate a way for he and I to do so," she replied. "In a joint venture, if you will. Normally, I would not need the help, but I believe Potter may be the perfect weapon to properly show my ire to my incompetent head of house."
"So, what- you want to snog Harry in front of Snape or something?" Parvati teased.
Daphne paused for a second before answering. "Perhaps, if that would provoke the most torment for him. A display like that may be unnecessary though. Walking into the Great Hall on his arm may be enough. On the other hand, publicly discussing the concept of a more permanent arrangement may upset not only Snape but the more bigoted buffoons in my house as well." Daphne straightened herself before she continued. "I may be a pureblood, but my family is not foolish enough to think that heritage is the only important thing when choosing significant others. Besides, I wouldn't think blood status would matter to the three of you."
"It doesn't," Padma replied. "Harry probably doesn't even know that we're purebloods."
He shrugged. "I never really thought about it. You're my honeys; that's what's important."
Parvati laughed and turned his head towards her so she could kiss him. "Yes, it is."
If Daphne's eyes flashed with jealousy, no one spoke of it. Instead, Padma said, "I think we would need to discuss things between the three of us first. Can we get back to you?"
"Very well," she stood and stepped towards the door. "Please let me know as soon as possible. I am quite willing to negotiate so that we all end up with a happy solution. Farewell."
Once the door was closed behind her, Parvati started to giggle. "I think that has to be the most strange and amusing way for a girl to try to hit on Harry."
"She was hitting on me? Are you sure?"
Padma smiled and patted his arm that was wrapped around her. "Yes, Harry, in a very roundabout way, she was expressing her interest in you."
"Oh."
"I think we should hang out with her some more," Parvati said.
"Why?" Padma asked.
"Because that was so bonkers," she answered with a giggle. "I want to see if she's always like that."
"It would be sensible for us to discover if we can really get along with her well enough to humor her request," Padma acknowledged before she started to grin. "And you're right that it was funny too."
"Did I just get a Slytherin honey?" Harry scratched his head.
"She's not a honey," Parvati told him. "But it would be funny to see Snape have a heart attack if you kissed one of his best students right in front of him."
"Malfoy would likely freak out too," Padma suggested.
"You mean because he'd be jealous that he wasn't snogging Harry?" Parvati teased.
"Ugh, come on babe, don't say things like that in front of me," he moaned. "If I was going to kiss a Malfoy, it would be his mum. Er, I mean the hot, classy one, you know, not the skanky one that's always hitting on me."
Later that night, after enjoying the welcoming feast at Hogwarts, Harry found himself with an awesome new situation as he led the first years up the stairs and towards Gryffindor tower. He'd introduced himself and saw the eyes of all the little kids grow big, and in that moment he knew...
He had minions.
Granger was going on about the classes they would have and Harry decided to stop her before she became too boring.
"Alright gang, let's get to a couple of really important lessons," he interjected.
"Harry-" Granger began to protest but he barreled on ahead of her.
"First of all, if anyone gives you any trouble, you let me know and I'll straighten them out," he grinned as the kiddoes all nodded. "And if you can't find me, just ask for Professor McG because she's a bad mamajama. Or you could ask one of my honeys if you're looking for me.
"On the other hand, if you need to ask about classes or something, you can talk to Hermione here," he patted his fellow prefect on the back. "She's really smart and stuff.
"But for the important things, you can talk to me. Got it?"
The squeaky little voices that replied made him smile. Harry had never thought anything was cute before, but he could see so much potential for his little minions- loyal followers who could help spread the word of his awesomeness. In fact, hadn't there been rumors of a Harry Potter fanclub a year or so back? Maybe he should ask his honeys about that.
But for now, it was time to get back to the lessons.
"Okay, so second thing, and this one is a big secret," he stopped and leaned down for a moment as the firsties all gathered around him in a huddle. "Everyone seems to think the headmaster is this lovable, somewhat crazy old man. But the truth is that he's actually evil."
"No way!" one of the little voices cried out.
"Harry," Granger groaned at him, making him smile again.
"It's true," he countered. "When I was your age, he tried to kill all of the Slytherins. And last year he did something even worse- he canceled quidditch!"
There were several gasps from the kids who grew up in magical families.
"That's horrible," one of them muttered.
"I know," Harry nodded. "So, be careful and remember not to take any candy from him, no matter how much he may offer. If you really need some sweets, you can either go to the kitchens or ask McG because she's always got some biscuits whenever I visit her."
"That's because you're her favorite," Hermione interrupted with a glare.
"Well, I am amazing," he grinned at her. "But don't take it too hard, Hermione. With all the points you earn in class, you're probably her second favorite. And that's not so bad. I mean, it doesn't really compare with saving McG and the entire school from a basilisk, but..."
She rolled her eyes. "We've arrived at Gryffindor Tower. Behind this portrait," she waved to the Fat Lady, "you will find our common room. There will be a password that you'll need to remember to get in. For now, it is Lagavulin."
Harry went through first and helped the smaller kids climb through the portrait as the step was a bit tall. Once they were all inside, Hermione led them to the stairs the went to the dorms, and Harry walked the boys up to their room. There were six of them and he showed them the beds, suggesting they pick one out and once they did so their trunks started popping in.
"Wow! Where did they come from?" one of the boys asked.
"House elves," Harry explained. "They're these little dudes who take care of stuff like cooking and cleaning. But don't think that's all they can do- they're actually pretty badass when they want to be."
"Will you show us the kitchen?" the same boy asked. Harry realized he was going to have to learn their names pretty soon.
"I'll do that this weekend. For now, just be sure to get up and get dressed on time so that you can follow someone down to breakfast, okay? Professor McG will hand out your schedules in the morning too."
The next day, Harry sat down between his honeys during the first Charms lesson of the new term. "So, I'm thinking about what I need to teach my little minions."
"Minions?" Padma frowned. "Do you mean the first years?"
"Just think of all the cool and important stuff that the prefects never taught us," Harry replied. "None of them ever taught me a secret passage or how to get into the kitchens for snack time. I'm not gonna be a lame failure like that- my army of tiny dudes will learn all that and more. From me, their glorious leader."
Parvati giggled and looked at her sister. "You should have seen the way he was talking to them last night. It was adorable."
"They're my little dudes, so I'm gonna make sure they have a good time here at Hogwarts."
Padma sighed and leaned her head against him. "I'll have to make sure the new Ravenclaws know how to stay out of the way."
"Don't worry, babe," he cut in. "If your little dudes need my help, I'll take care of them too. But I have a feeling they won't be as interested in getting buff if they're in Ravenclaw."
"Getting buff?" Padma's eyes went wide. "You're going to teach them to work out?"
"Of course," he shrugged. "It's ridiculous that the only sport we have here is played while sitting down. I mean, flying is cool and all, but come on. If I didn't have my badass trunk with all my weights and stuff, I wouldn't be nearly as awesome and ripped, and that would be a tragedy."
"Indeed it would," Parvati agreed with a smirk.
"Yeah, and just think of how scrawny so many of the wizard dudes are around here," Harry added. "Other than me and Hagrid, this place is full of wimps."
"I have a bad feeling about this," Padma sighed.