They had said they needed to get better at this. They needed to get better at seeing one another more often. This job had consumed both their lives for over 20 years. Even when he was away, he worked the job, just in a different way.

But tonight, she can't spend the night with him. As long as her phone doesn't ring on the way out, she can manage a few hours away. He insisted on taking her out and then taking her back to her place. Which actually works because Noah isn't due home until 8. So, he has to be out by 7:30, no exceptions.

She still isn't ready to introduce him to Noah and he's being understanding. He asks about him all the time, always wants to know as much about her boy as she's willing to give him but knows she's keeping that wall up for a reason.

It has only been a few days since the parking garage and just like that day, her body is consumed with the thoughts of seeing him again. Of having him again. They both know this relationship stems deeper, way deeper, than just sex. But if she's being honest a big portion of it is sex. Really incredible sex. For they know one another better than anyone has ever known them and this part of their relationship, the sexual part, is the only part they really don't know about each other. Like a secret they've both kept hidden from one another that they can finally share. And Jesus, she wants to share it with him.

She manages to slip out of her office by five. They haven't told anyone but she's pretty positive Fin already knows. If it isn't the way he smirks at her as she walks quickly to the elevator, it's the way he completely caught view of the massive hickey Elliot had managed to leave on her neck. She doesn't mind that much. As long as he doesn't tell anyone else, which she already knows he won't, they're fine.

She texts Elliot as soon as she plants her ass in the seat of her car. Because really, she needed to be sure she was getting out of there before she did. The man must be just as relieved, just as excited as she is, because it's not even a minute later that her phone is ringing. His name popping up on her screen.

"Hi," she answers, clicking her phone in her holder and buckling her seat belt.

"Please tell me your out of the garage. I don't want anyone trying to chase after you."

She laughs out loud at that one. "I'm leaving right now."

"Okay, good. What are you thinking for food?"

"Hmm, I know this really good diner by my place."

"Sounds good. I'm about 20 minutes from your place, so I'll meet you there."

"Alright."

On the way home, she tries to settle the butterflies in her stomach. They've had sex twice... well technically six times if she considers all the times her was inside her their first time together. He has seen her from all different angles. He's touched her, tasted her, been inside her but her nerves are still raging through her. She has no doubt his plan tonight is to rock her world as much as he possibly can in the couple hours he has her. Although he was more than a willing participant in the parking garage, she's pretty positive Elliot Stabler is not a fast fuck kind of guy.

He's a pleaser. He wants to please her, very well. Each time they've been intimate ensuring that she has come first. And he has already made her come in way she has never come before. She still can't get over the fact that she can call herself a squirter because, honestly, she always thought that was a little weird. But fuck, it is the most satisfying thing she's ever experienced. And he better make it happen again tonight.

She's never asked him and she's not sure if she ever will, but she thinks, before her, and that bitch Flutura, god she even hates that woman's name, the man had only ever had sex with Kathy. Which is what she expects from a faithful man who got married when he was 17.

It still stabs her with a pang of guilt every time she thinks of Kathy. Of how goddamn good she was. And she feels like she's betraying her. In the way she always promised herself she wouldn't. But as much as it hurts, Kathy is gone. Forever. And she, Olivia, she deserves this with Elliot. They deserve this. Twelve years they never crossed a line. He kept to his responsibilities, she kept to her dignity. Ten years he disappeared, without any fucking contact. 23 years. It took them 23 years to get to this and dammit, they fucking waited long enough.

Her body feels alive again. She feels like a woman again. No longer a dried up prune who wasn't even interested in pleasuring herself anymore. Her favorite toy has once again been brought to the front of the drawer she keeps hidden in her closet. She would prefer it be in nightstand but with Noah, she is not risking having that conversation yet. The toy is no where near as satisfying as Elliot but it at least takes the pressure away... some.

By the time she's pulling into the parking lot of her building, she's already considering skipping food. Or at least getting it to go. Her panties are probably already useless, she can feel the wetness between her legs and fuck, she hasn't even seen him yet. Her body is responding like it did when she was in her 30s and really, she's not complaining. She'll take the constant wetness over those damn dry spells any day.

When she gets out of her car, she walks to the front of her building. He's probably almost here and there's no point of her running up only to come back down. And then she spots him walking toward her in his three piece suit. Something new about him but something she is really starting to love. The man in a vest. Yeah, food is definitely not happening.

She meets him halfway and he's quick to reach out, wrap his arm around her waist lightly to kiss her cheek. As quick as he's there, he's gone and her hearts skips a little at the fact that he knows she's not that big at public affection. But with him? She may be willing to change that a little bit.

She steps closer to him, takes hold of wrist and leans closer to his ear, "So, I changed my mind."

"You changed your mind?" His hand goes to settle on her hip because it's only fair. If she can touch, so can he.

"I don't want food." At all.

His hand grips her hip tighter and she moves her hand down to intertwine their fingers, "You don't?"

"Nope." She's already pulling him backwards towards the door of her building.

Although he grins and follows her steps he says, "I'm trying to take you out, Liv."

It's true. Every time he had tried to meet with her, he had wanted to take her out for food first. Even on their first night together, he had insisted she ate first. It's Elliot being Elliot and she finds it sweet. She really does. But she really doesn't need all that. "I'm trying to get naked." Him naked too. Because, in case he's forgotten, it's been three weeks since they've seen one another completely bare.

His eyes darken a shade of blue and Jesus, why are his eyes even sexy. "You have food I can feed you later?"

She groans lowly. Stubborn son of a bitch. "El, I have an eight year old son, of course I have food."

She sees the moment he gives in and smiles widely at him. She does her daily nod to her doorman on the way to the elevator and when the doors close behind them she's halfway relieved and halfway terrified that they're on it alone. Her floor is 5 floors up and although it's a short ride, it's still long enough for him to step closer to her, wrap his hands around her waist and lean into to kiss her. It's a gentle kiss and God, it only makes her want to kiss him more.

She kisses him again and again and when she tries to swipe her tongue in his mouth he chuckles lowly, "Someone is horny."

She laughs, "Very horny. I'm telling you that toy..." The way he's growls when she mentions her toy sends a wave of arousal right to the tip of her toes. Maybe one day she'll put on a show for him. One day.

"Jesus, Liv."

She smiles, leans forward to connect her lips to his once more and whispers, "You should feel how wet I am already."

He pulls her flush against him, hard enough to feel the beginnings of his erection in his trousers and really, with how endowed he is, it can't be that comfortable for him. She moans lowly and blows a breath of relief out when the doors open for her floor.

She almost drags him behind her on the way to her door and she's seriously feels like a horny teenager again. As she pulls her keys out of her coat pocket she feels his hands land on her back. Feels them roam around her hips to her stomach and when they start a slow and torturous journey upward, she whimpers. "El..."

"Hurry and get the door unlocked, Liv. So I can take care of you."

She groans. Half from frustration, half from arousal and when his hands engulf her breasts fully, she almost drops her keys. He is not being fair. At all. So as she gets the little bit of bearings she can get back, fixing her keys in her hand and shoving them in her keyhole, she pushes her ass back slightly connecting with what is now, his full hard on.

It's his turn to groan and when the door is finally open he's almost pushing her inside. While his hand finds the lock out of instinct, she carelessly throws her purse and keys on her entry table and is just about to push her coat of her shoulders when he's on her. He doesn't even give her time to think, she's up in his arms, her legs wrapped around his waist and fuck, she can't remember the last man who even attempted to pick her up.

It's hot, so she's not even going to try to protest anymore. If he can hold her like he did in his shower, she has nothing to worry about. As he lips drag along his jawline, she says, "You're going to throw your back out one day."

He laughs, his feet already heading down the hallway to her bedroom, "I'll take my chances. Which one is yours?"

"Straight ahead."

Since she really can't keep her mouth off of him any longer, she connects her lips to his hungrily. Her tongue sliding between his lips and Jesus, the man is a phenomenal kisser. She's not sure how he does it because he's only been in her place once and that was when he was high and hadn't made it past the living room. But he still manages to cross the threshold of her bedroom door with their lips attached. One minute she's in his arms kissing him, the next she's flying through the air and landing on her bed. The man really is a showoff.

She laughs when he's just as quick to grab her good ankle because he never once forgets about her bad one, and yanks her down the bed. As he pulls off her shoes, she rids herself of her coat and blouse, leaving her laying before him in just her slacks and white lace bra.

The way his eyes skim along her body, the way he bites his lip in anticipation, the way his eyes darken, she has never felt so wanted. She sits up then, reaches for the buttons on the vest he's wearing and as she busies herself in ridding him of the top half of clothing, his fingers slide up the back of her neck, tangling in her hair to pull her head back just enough to get his lips back on hers. She moans into his mouth when he pulls a tad bit harder and fuck, she's already throbbing. Her heartbeat in tune with her clit.

She fumbles blindly with his buttons but he's not willing to part from her anymore than she's willing to part from him and when she's finally wrenching the sides of his shirt open, her hands landing on the tank top he's wearing underneath she almost whines in frustration. "Why do you have to have so many clothes on right now."

He laughs at her impatience, steps back enough to rid himself of his vest, button down shirt, tank top, socks and shoes quickly. Her eyes move along his body, much like he did to her and god, the muscles chiseled on chest almost cause her to start drooling. One hundred percent man. Solid built man. And she finally gets to have him.

She should already know when she reaches for the button of his pants that he's going to stop her. Of course he's going to stop her. He's already made it clear that he's going to take care of her. And that makes her shiver.

The look on his face as he draws closer to her is predatory, animalistic almost and she can feel everything in the pit of stomach. He has barely even touched her and she feels like she's about to come already. He kisses her again, softly at first, lowering her back down to the mattress and using the strength in his upper body to pull her farther up. Enough that his hips can settle in between her open thighs.

Her hands move along the ridges of his back, pull him closer to her and when the hardness of him connects perfectly to the apex of her thighs, she bucks hard against him. He groans into her mouth, reaches in between them to work on the button of her pants and she moans her approval out loud, "Yes." Fuck yes.

His hand is sliding into her pants without any other prompting. His fingers gliding through her soaked folds effortlessly and she breathes a, "Fuck," against his lips. He pulls his mouth away from her then, not far, just enough so he can stare into her eyes. There's something so hypnotizing about his blue eyes. They draw her in and keep her there. His fingers expertly bathe her clit in her fluids, rub a few tight circles against her ball of nerves, and fuck, she's gonna come already.

But right when she's there, he stops and she groans in disapproval, "Elliot, I was..."

His lips on hers stop her, "I know."

He's sitting up before she can protest any further and hooking his fingers on the waistline of her pants and underwear. He wants her pants off. He wants to give her more. He wants to make her come harder and she is definitely not going to protest. Her hips lift for him to pull them down in one motion, dropping them on the ground and he's almost just as quick to get her bra off of her. Her breasts bouncing on top of her.

His eyes once again take a second to take her all in and when he cracks a grin, she laughs breathlessly. "You're like a child who finally gets to have that piece of candy."

He grins even more, rubs his hand from her hip, to her breast, "That's actually a perfect analogy, Benson."

Her cheeks flush and she shakes her head. The man is making her feel things she's never felt before. His hand gives her breast a firm squeeze, his thumb gliding across her nipple but he's brief. Knows she's on edge, so doesn't deny her long.

She sighs in relief when his hand skims back down her belly, his body settling on the side of her. He uses a hand on her thigh to open her up more and she has to remember to keep breathing. And when he once more slides his fingers through her folds, he growls, "You're so perfect, Olivia."

She wants to shake her head in the negative because she's far from perfect but instead she let's out a low moan when he teases her entrance. She's so worked up, so her hips rise and she whimpers, "El... please."

And of course, he doesn't deny her. She blows a breath out of her lips when he enters her and once his finger is buried to the hilt inside of her, she blinks her eyes open, to once again find him staring at her in awe. Her eyes once more find peace in his and when he pulls his finger out slowly, only to push back in, she moans, "More."

He smiles at her. A smile that shows just how much he wants to consume her alive. She moans when he presses another finger inside of her and Jesus, why does everything about this man feel so good. And with one more sensual kiss to his lips because he's obviously bound determine to watch her, he starts a slow but purposeful pace inside of her. She tries to keep her eyes on his but when his thumb connects to her clitoris she swears, "Shit..." and starts to close them.

"Olivia. Look at me, baby." As her eyes open once more he leans forward to brush his lips against her temple, "I want to watch you come."

She moans. Fuck. His fingers are perfect inside of her and her orgasm hits her suddenly, her hips bucking hard against his hand and God, the man never takes his eyes off of her eyes. "Fuck... Elliot." She expects it to taper off but it doesn't and he makes sure it doesn't. His fingers move faster and harder. And when he finds that spot within her that makes her gasp and moan loudly, he somehow digs deeper into it. His thumb presses harder and circles faster against her clit, and she thinks she's going to pass out. Her hips are moving moving in tune to his thrusts, she's clenching rhythmically around him and goddamn, she needs to...

"I got you, Liv. Squirt, baby."

Jesus Christ. He does have her. Perfectly has her because as soon as she pushes, his fingers are gone and he's rubbing her clit almost vigorously. She screams when the pressure releases and then his voice is there, right by her ear, "Look, Liv. Look how hard you're coming."

She moans and God, this man can talk like this too? She will forever be at his mercy. Her eyes follow his to look down at herself and holy shit. Holy. Shit. She didn't even realize the amount of force behind the spray but seeing it coupled with his fingers that are working her bundle of nerves like a fine tooth comb, only makes her squirt harder and fuck, it's the first time in her bed and everything is going to be rendered useless after this. She's not even sure what kind of noises are escaping her mouth but she definitely doesn't think she's ever made them before.

He groans, his breath hitting her ear, "Fuck, Olivia. You're incredible."

And when the last wave roles through her, she whimpers and falls back onto to the bed. The man hasn't even been inside of her yet and she's completely sedated. She feels his lips press lightly against her ear, the nape of her neck, her cheek, her jaw, her lips and she manages to roll her body over towards him.

He wraps his arm around her, slides his hand along her lower back and she can feel his hard length through his pants. She needs a minute. Just a minute to get her breathing under control, so wraps her arm around him as well.

"You're beautiful when you come," he says lowly.

She laughs, "Only when I come?"

"No, I mean you're beautiful all the time but Jesus, Liv. I wish you could see what I see. I never want to take my eyes off of you."

She flushes slightly. Guess it fits because she never wants to take her eyes off him either. He's still hard in his pants and she needs to at least allow the man to breathe. Her hands are quick to assist him in ridding his pants. And when her eyes drag down the length of his body to the hard cock between his legs, she clenches. She wishes she had the energy to ride him but after that orgasm, or orgasms, she doesn't think her legs will work that well.

So, she takes hold of him in her hand, strokes him slowly from base to tip, savors the look of pleasure on his face and goes to roll on her back to he can settle between her legs. But he seems to have different plans because he's sitting up and pulling her with him. "Elliot..."

"Trust me."

She trusts him. She really does. But she thought they were taking care of the problem between his legs, not standing up. His eyes are almost pleading with her, so she sighs and sits up with him. He helps her. Guides her to her feet. Makes sure she's steady before taking her hand gently and leading her to her bathroom. Turning on the light as they enter. Her bathroom? Okay, she really has no idea what he's doing. "What are we doing?"

"You know, you've never been good with surprises."

She huffs in annoyance, "I just want your dick inside of me, El." She's not a patient woman, she never has been and when it comes to Elliot now, she's never going to be.

He raises his eyebrows at her with that one and when she only raises hers back, he cracks that grin at her again. She still has no idea what his plan is, but when his body steps behind her, his hands landing on the curvature of her hips, and guides her body slightly, so that she's standing perfectly in front of her mirror, her breathing becomes irregular.

And then he's placing her hands on the counter, her back bending slightly, and leaning close to her ear, "I want you to see what I see."

Fuck. She feels the shiver run through her whole body and goddamn, this man is going to be the death of her. She doesn't look at herself naked anymore. It's sad and it still breaks her heart, but as much as she's healed, the marks on her body affect her. Some days she does better than others but most days, she avoids looking at them altogether. And he wants her to watch herself come, in the mirror, with the light on.

"El... I don't..."

He leans even more against her, let's her feel his hard cock pressed against her ass and her hips instinctively tip backward, a small moan escaping her lips. His lips connect to her shoulder, his tongue running along her skin and she keeps her eyes on him in the mirror the whole time. "If it gets to be too much, I'll turn you around."

She takes a deep breath. He'll turn her back around. If she gets overwhelmed, he'll stop. And she knows he will. She nods. It's not a confident nod and he knows it. So, he tries to comfort her even more, "Just watch me, Liv. Watch your face." He knows why this is hard for her. If it was 10 years ago, she wouldn't be hesitating at all.

She nods once more, turns her head to connect her lips to his and when he kisses her softly, hungrily, she melts into him. It's Elliot. It's her El. And she can show every side of herself to him. Even those that he doesn't all the way know because she knows he can handle it. She pushes her ass back against him, encourages him to get her into a position he can enter her in. His hand presses a little more on her back, makes her spread her arms wider, makes her widen her stance slightly, makes her bend her back a little more and then she feels him. Right at her entrance.

He disconnects their lips, drags his lips along her jaw, down her neck, sucking and nipping but in a way that isn't going to leave any marks and then his eyes lift to hers in the mirror. He's checking with her, making sure she's still with him and God, those blue eyes.

And then, he's pushing himself inside of her, slowly, confidently. In a way he has already perfected to make sure she doesn't feel any pain. Her head drops down slightly, her body succumbing to the feeling of having him inside of her again and only when he's to the hilt, does she look back up in the mirror.

He's watching her, like he's always watching her and when their eyes meet he smiles at her gently, sinks his teeth into her shoulder and pulls the length of himself out. The drive back in is the perfect combination of forceful and gentle and when he does it one more time, she's lost.

She's lost in the feeling of him moving perfectly in and out of her, lost in the way his eyes never leave her face, lost in the noises if pleasure escaping both of their mouths, lost in the pleasure erupting inside of her, lost in the look of ecstasy on her face.

God. It's the most incredible view. Being able to see her own face contort with the movement of his hips, being able to see his face contort with the clenching of her. And when his eyes leave the mirror momentarily to glide down her back to them, she's a little jealous that he gets a view that she can never have in this position. His mouth slacks slightly at it and it makes her clench even harder around him.

The clench brings his eyes back to hers and fuck, she's close. Really fucking close. "OH, ELLL..." Her moans match the slapping of their skin and when his hand reaches around to drag along her clit, her eyes connect to his. "I'm gonna come... FUCK... I'm..." and then it hits. Wave after wave and although they both know it's happening, she still finishes her sentence, "I'm COMING." The look of pleasure, of satisfaction, of trust on her face only makes her come harder and fuck, this man is everything.

She not only feels the moment he's about to come, she sees it. And goddamn, he is the by far the sexiest man she's ever seen. He grits his teeth, bites his lip, closes his eyes for a brief moment and when he opens them once more, he groans her name with one last slam into her.

She already wasn't sure she could stand before this and now she really can't. Her body drops back against him heavily and his arms are quick to wrap completely around her. He doesn't stumble once. Holds the whole weight of her perfectly. And when their eyes meet once more in the mirror, she says, "I love you." Because fuck, she really really does. More than she's ever loved any man. She's in love with him. Always has been. But now? Fuck.

He must see the start of panic on her face because he turns her around in her arms, wraps his arms completely around her, presses their bare bodies together, kisses her shoulder, her neck, her jaw and her lips. Brings their faces together, his blue eyes inches from her brown ones. His looking down into hers, hers looking up into his. Another one of those intense stares and Jesus Christ. "I'm in love with you Olivia Benson. I always have been, always will be."

And its then she realizes he did tonight on purpose. He wanted her to see. To see everything. Bare and raw and staring her right back in the face.

She curves her lips up slightly because God, as terrified as she, she's happy. And fuck, she wants to be happy. She wants to have joy out of just Noah. As she tilts her chin up slightly to kiss she knows that this, her and him, this is what she needs to be happy.