Hi there, sorry to have been away so long. Many apologies for keeping you hanging on. I will be posting at least once a week for now and hope to get Fateful Decisions finished too before the end of the year. I hope everyone is safe and well. It's been a very stressful eighteen months for everyone. Love Jules x

Chapter Thirty One

Jasper

I needed to find out exactly what had happened at the cabin and where Darius was but Bella was in no mood to talk. I had carried her in silence near enough thirty miles through the snowy wilderness before I sighted a town. We needed shelter and somewhere to hide in the short term so, with a muttered apology, I sent her to sleep and then set about finding some transport. I didn't have time to waste buying from a dealer, but as I scoped out a parking lot I happened to notice an old truck for sale outside a run-down house and decided it would have to do.

The owner was a grizzled old man who told me that he was selling the truck on behalf of his son who was now doing life for drug dealing and therefore no longer needed it. He handed me the keys and scurried around finding the paperwork while I started the engine.

It ran rough and the silencer was almost shot, but it would hopefully get us to the next town which was all I required. Once there I would dump it and hopefully have enough time to work out my next move.

If Darius had abandoned Bella he and I would be having words.

In the meantime, what the hell was I supposed to do about the collar which was still fixed around Bella's neck? I daren't try to remove it, sure Darius had been telling the truth when he said it was booby-trapped, but she couldn't go around with it in place for the rest of her life. Besides, I wasn't sure Darius would remember to disarm it once he got his hands on Caius. Still, that problem would have to wait a while.

I retrieved Bella from the hollow where I had hidden her sleeping body and after making her as comfortable as I could on the back seat I drove onto the highway headed west. I planned to hole up in a motel until I could discover what had happened and work out what to do next.

This wasn't over yet. Bella might be free of danger as far as Darius was concerned, but there was still the Volturi. I couldn't see Aro giving up the opportunity of acquiring a powerful gift. Especially one that had been foretold would bring about the downfall of his empire.

Keeping Bella safe from individuals would be relatively easy, not many would come up against me willingly, but from the might of the Volturi guard? That was a whole other story. We could continue to run and hide, but that was no way for Bella to live. If she was ever to recover from the horrors she had endured she needed peace and a place to call home.

I laughed as a thought suddenly struck me. I had jumped out of the frying pan into the proverbial fire here. So much for my plan of leading a quiet life free from any responsibilities.

Bella began to recover her senses, although I kept enough control over her emotions to render her docile. I couldn't risk her going nuclear on the highway.

She sat up and looked around groggily, "Where are we going?"

"We're going to find a quiet motel and regroup. Tell me what happened back at the cabin. Where's Darius?"

She looked around the cab, wrinkling her nose at the smell of stale beer and cigarettes.

"Where did you get this heap of junk?"

I shrugged, "It was the best I could lay my hands on. Sorry it's not a limo."

I felt her eyes boring into me and wondered if she was thinking about how she could overcome me and take off after the wolfman.

"You had no right to stop me. That bastard was responsible for Charlie's death."

"I know, your scars too, but killing him wouldn't have made things right."

"Maybe not, but it would have made me feel one hell of a lot better."

I turned to glance at her and shook my head, "No, it wouldn't. Not in the long run. You might have felt better for a while, but taking a life is never easy or without its consequences. Trust me, it will haunt you for the rest of your life."

"And you speak from experience, of course?"

"You know I do. I remember every kill and the pain and terror every victim felt. Each kill erodes a part of you and I will not allow you to torment yourself in that way, not on my watch."

"Then get out and walk away. I absolve you from any feelings of responsibility you may feel for me. Go. If you don't, then one day when you least expect it I will kill you. I vowed to carry on killing until someone or something killed me and nothing you can say will change my mind."

There was something in her voice that told me she didn't mean a word she said, it was all bluff; because Bella, the girl I had known back in Forks was still in there and slowly she was regaining control. She just needed shielding from harm until the process was complete.

I harbored no illusion that I was safe in her company but I wasn't going to give up. Besides, I liked being with Bella and I was sure if anyone could help her through this, it was me.

I repeated my question about Darius, but she ignored it, instead gazing out of the window and I knew it was pointless pursuing the matter now.

Finding a run-down motel on the edge of town I sent Bella back to sleep knowing she would make a run for it if I didn't. I then went in and rented a room for a few days. I just hoped I had taken us far enough that any pursuit would take time to catch up and hopefully miss us.

I woke Bella enough to get her from the car to our room, carrying her would certainly cause raised eyebrows if we were seen and I wanted to stay unobtrusive.

Once inside I told Bella to relax while I went to grab some essentials.

"I'm not going to knock you out, but you'll find yourself too weary to try anything. I'll be as fast as I can. I'll get you something to eat. Any requests?"

She looked up at me sleepily from where she had perched on the edge of the bed and nodded, "Italian, please. Unless, of course, you decide to just get in the truck and drive off. I wouldn't blame you if you left. After all, that's what I want. To be left alone and I'm not your responsibility."

I smiled and went off to purchase some food for Bella and a new cell phone. Somehow I had to try contacting Darius. He must tell me how to safely remove Bella's collar. He might even help me by tracing where the Volturi and Caius' trackers were. I didn't trust anyone else and I needed help if I was going to keep Bella alive and free.

Bella

Jasper was right, of course. I barely had the strength to walk to the door and when I tried to open it, I realized that he had jammed the lock somehow. I was trapped unless I wanted to climb out through the window. I couldn't fault his attention to detail! As I retreated to my perch on the edge of the bed I wondered what I would have done if the door had been unlocked. Would I have made a run for it?

It was so confusing. A few days ago all I had wanted was to kill vampires and guardians too. It had been so simple, I knew I was going to die, but I no longer cared. I just wanted revenge on the creatures who had caused me such pain and misery. Now I wasn't sure what I wanted and much as I yearned to blame Jasper's influence over me for that I knew in my heart he wasn't the cause.

Given the opportunity I would have killed Paul and not felt a twinge of regret and that much hadn't changed, but if I had Darius and Jasper dead in my sights would I still want to pull the trigger? I understood why Darius had done the things he had and I didn't blame him, his motivation was something I knew all about. Maybe that's why I might hesitate with him.

I fingered the collar that remained fastened around my neck. It was chafing my skin and becoming steadily more and more uncomfortable. I hoped that if Jasper could contact Darius, he would ask him how to get the damn thing off. If not I would be starting a new fashion in exploding necklaces, very chic!

For the first time, I realized how alone I was. Charlie was dead and Renee, having fulfilled her task, had disappeared. I had no family, no one who cared about me, except of course for the Volturi supposing Darius had caught up with Caius and removed him from the picture.

A little voice in my head whispered that I was wrong. There was one person who cared about my welfare. One person was putting his life on the line to keep me safe and he was one of the enemy. A vampire.

I wanted to feel safe, sure I did, but did I want it to be one of them who made me feel that way?

I cursed my weakness and stumbled to the door again, leaning against it as the tears began to fall. I had vowed long ago that I would never shed another tear, but I couldn't help myself. Self-pity overtook me and I began to sob uncontrollably.

Eventually, the tears ran dry and feeling even more wretched I went to the bathroom to wash my face and try to make something of the ravages of the past quarter-hour. Looking in the mirror, I groaned. My eyes were puffy and red-rimmed, my nose was like a beacon glowing proudly against my pale face and my hair looked like I'd been attacked by a demented mower.

Looking down I noticed that my clothes were creased and dirty and I tried rubbing the worst marks off with a damp towel. The shower looked too inviting and I stripped off and stood under the hot water, watching as the suds carried away the dirt and grime but not, unfortunately, the wretched feelings.

When the water ran cold, I wrapped a towel around myself and wandered back into the bedroom. Right now I didn't care if Jasper came back. I had nothing clean to put on until my clothes dried and I couldn't face climbing back into them while still damp.

Peering out the window I saw it had stopped snowing and the heap of junk we had driven in was gone. Would Jasper come back with new transport for us? I guessed he would have to if we were still being pursued, although I wasn't sure that I wanted to run anymore. Facing my demons had been much more satisfying even if it was sure to end in my death. At the same time, the thirst for revenge had faded which was probably down to Jasper's gift too.

Maybe if I continued to act passive I could lull him into a false sense of security and then jump him. I should kill him and be done with it, but he had helped me, or that had been his intention. Maybe I could just disable him somehow. Was that even possible? I'd never tried to control the intensity of my gift before, the fact that it killed had been good enough.

Something occurred to me at this point. If I could control my gift then maybe I could muster up enough willpower to use Jasper's gift against him. Send him to sleep instead and then I could do whatever I wanted. He would be safe enough, after all, no one was looking for him, it was me that they wanted.

Feeling restless I peered outside again, glancing around the parking lot and noticing that only one other room had any lights on. It was as I was pulling the drapes closed that something caught my attention. I was sure I had seen movement in the shadows at the edge of the lot farthest from the lights. It could have been a cat or a racoon, but it made me uneasy.

Looking around I turned on the TV so its light would give the illusion that someone was moving about then switched off the room lights. Giving it a minute I went back to the window pleased that the drapes hadn't closed completely when I pulled them shut.

I peered out again cautiously making sure I didn't disturb them and give myself away. It was very dark in the corner but I waited. Had I been mistaken? No, I saw a faint shape against the wall of the furthest room. Whatever it was, it had moved since I first spotted it. The only illumination was from the odd passing car and the next one gave just enough light to see that the shape was someone crouched down as if doing up their shoelace… Or trying to remain invisible.

A shudder ran down my spine and I moved quickly to the bathroom, struggling into my damp clothes as quickly as I could while watching the front of the room through the open door. If someone was watching me would they rush the room? Who was it? The only pursuers I could think of being members of the Volturi and if it was them I was in serious trouble. I was still too weak to use my gift and I cursed Jasper for leaving me here alone and vulnerable.

I glanced around looking for a weapon knowing I stood no chance against a vampire. The real ones didn't care about wooden stakes which ruled out the towel rack which I could have ripped off the wall, or crosses, so the silver cross which hung around my neck was no use either. Think, think!

Fire! That was the only weapon that was effective against vampires. Just for a second, I wished I was a smoker. At least I would have some matches or a lighter in my pocket instead of useless tissues and a stick of gum.

I scanned the room and then stopped and I thanked the Gods for hearing my silent prayer for there on the floor down the side of the bed was a matchbook. Now if only it wasn't empty. All I needed was a couple of matches and the pillowcase off the bed.

I ran, grabbing the pillow and wrenching the case off, then snatched the matchbook and retreated to the bathroom once more. Pulling the towel rack, which was hanging loose, off the wall, I wrapped the pillowcase around it and fastened it with my belt. I'd forgotten something, how was I going to keep the pillowcase alight? I needed fuel to make it blaze.

It was then I remembered my knee highs and yanked them off. The nylon should help my makeshift weapon stay alight. The matchbook contained three matches and all I needed was for one to ignite. I pulled the bathroom door almost closed, then sat on the edge of the tub with the matchbook in one hand and a match in the other, the weapon held between my knees, and waited.

It seemed ages before I heard a soft footfall outside the room and I tensed, wishing Jasper was here.

Suddenly there was a gentle tap which made me jump. Why would someone who had been watching the room from a hiding place suddenly tap on the door? Were they trying to draw me out? Maybe they didn't know I had seen them. I froze as the tapping came again, then tiptoed to the window and peeked quickly out.

My mystery visitor was certainly a vampire, he had a pale, beautiful face and the ability to stand very still as he waited for an answer to his knock.

The only way to have hope in hell of winning a fight with him would be to take him by surprise if that were possible.

I decided to call out for him to come in and present him with my flaming torch when he opened the door.

Calling out I scraped the first match and heaved a sigh of relief when it flared up, then realized that the door was locked. Still, that shouldn't present a problem for a vampire and sure enough, the door sprung open.

I jabbed at the guy as he stepped inside and several things happened at once. Something came flying into the room, knocking the intruder across the room and beyond the reach of my weapon and I heard a loud voice,

"Fucking hell. I nearly got barbecued. What kinda shit storm have you gotten yourself into this time, Major?"