Six: Forests once forbidden

Whatever sadist had planned double DADA on Friday deserved to die. That was the only thought Ginny could keep hold off of as she ate her breakfast without tasting it. She'd slept even worse than usual. Now Snape's cold eyes had joined Dolohov's cruel ones and Riddle's red ones in her dreams. It was ridiculous. He was on their side, supposedly. What kind of girl had nightmares about a mean teacher, especially when there were so many other more terrifying candidates? And still her hand began to shake and her scars began to itch at the thought of spending most of the morning in Snape's class. feigning illness had been tempting, but she could hardly keep that up for a whole year. Besides, Snape would probably assign her detention regardless.

At least she had History of Magic afterwards, which should allow her to catch her breath, and Care of Magical Creatures with Hagrid to round out her day. So all she had to do was survive DADA. When put like that, it almost sounded easy. Then she made eye contact with Snape at the head table and could feel her insides turn to ice.

In the classroom, Colin took the seat next to her. While she was glad for the show of support, she would have been just as comfortable on her own. She and Colin got along, but she'd have never considered him a friend. Still, before she could settle on some kind of small talk, Colin dug up a picture from his bag and handed it to her.

"Here, I thought you might like it," he said.

Ginny accepted it carefully and her breath caught in her throat when she saw it. It was them, and her. Together in the Room of Requirement after a D.A. session. Luna staring at something off-screen that only she could see. Ron and Hermione sitting just a bit too closely together, forever caught in that half-love that would never get the opportunity to be more. Harry and Neville both laughing at something she'd said, the first exuberantly, the other shyly. And she herself, in the middle of some kind of animated explanation, still unscarred.

"They don't move, I know, but just this once I like it better that way," Colin said, sounding almost apologetic.

There was no need for an apology. She knew what he meant, one perfect moment caught in time. The lack of movement just preserved it all the better and there was no need for animation when her memories could fill in all the little details.

"Thank you, Colin," she choked out.

There were a thousand words more to say, but then Snape strode in. She quickly put the picture away, not willing to risk exposing it to him. His eyes drifted over the classroom and once more lingered on her. It was more difficult than yesterday, but she had spent last night practicing her glare in the mirror. That and the thought of the picture pulled her through it..

By the end of the class, she was exhausted. Snape had spared her from any more public demonstrations as they continued work on what he pronounced 'the most lamentable shield charms I have ever seen', but he had not guarded his tongue.

"Are you that eager to add more scars to your collection Miss Weasley? The current set don't garner you enough attention?" he would say when her shield failed. "Five points from Gryffindor for such a poor attempt."

Or, when it held but wobbled, he would sniff and shake his head.

"I'd ask you if you'd expect that kind of shield to stop a Death Eater. But we both already know the answer to that question, don't we Miss Weasley?" he'd drawl, eyes lingering on her scars.

If not for Umbridge last year, she doubted she'd been able to hold her tongue, but that was at least one skill the toad had been able to impart during her DADA classes. So instead she gritted her teeth and kept practicing, one eye always on Snape as he set off around the edge of the classs.

By the time they were dismissed and she'd dropped down in her seat for Binns' class, she was spent. It was only when Colin shook her awake for lunch, that she realised she'd fallen asleep within mere seconds of entering the room. Most students had already left, but Colin waited up patiently as she packed the blank parchment she'd so aspirationally taken out at the start of the class.

"Thanks for waking me," she said, reminding herself that Binns was both a ghost and utterly disinterested in his students, so he wouldn't have been bothered. "I'll try not to make a habit out of it.

"You looked like you could use it. Besides, it's only Binns. Slept well?"

"Decent," she said. Perhaps it had been the absence of the dark, or perhaps just the exhaustion, but she had slept fitfully and felt almost refreshed. "And thank you again for the picture."

"Don't mention it. When I was going through the pictures this summer, I instantly knew that was one for you."

This early in September, Care of Magical Creatures was usually still a pleasure. The sun drove the chill from her bones that had settled there since Snape's class, though long she could not enjoy it as Hagrid guided them towards the Forbidden Forest, its ominous canopy blocking out all but the faintest rays of light. Her classmates all looked rather queasy, huddling together. The fact that Hagrid was lugging around two carcasses probably didn't reassure them either. And these were supposed to be the brave students. As tales of Hagrid's first year of teaching had spread, the elective had seen a record low of enrolments in Ginny's year and numbers only had plummeted even further since then. She doubted anyone would continue this class past their O.W.L.'s.

Worst of all, she couldn't fault them for it, the creatures they'd seen so far had given even her the shivers and she'd grown up with Fred and George hiding spiders in her bedroom until they discovered Ron was a better victim. After that, it had just been rats, though those jokes had stopped after Scabbers had turned out to be Pettigrew. Suddenly, rats had lost most of their lustre.

The forest got more menacing with each step, the gnarled tree branches reaching out to them, the cries, birds or otherwise, becoming shriller the deeper they went. The leaves rustled beneath their feet and whenever someone stepped on a branch and it snapped, everyone started and looked around, as if expecting some vicious beast to devour them the second they made a sound. When she nearly stumbled over a protruding root, she got out her wand and lit up her surroundings with a whispered Lumos. The rest soon followed suit, nine bobbing lights led on by the kindest giant she knew.

They came to a halt in a clearing. Hagrid tossed down the meat and began an explanation, but she wasn't really paying attention because she saw them again. No longer pulling the carriages, but free. Like they'd been on the eighteenth of June. Slender legs, white eyes, black wings.

Ginny loves flying. Looping freely through the sky like a mad bird, wind in her hair, hands on her broom and always, the faint threat of oblivion. To lose yourself to the physical sensation, soaring away as all the whispers and doubts in her head finally fall silent, even Tom's. When she flies, there is only the blue sky, nothing more. She loves it.

What she doesn't love, is this. Holding on to something that doesn't seem to be there as the wind pulls at her, the emptiness below calls out to her and invisible wings beat loudly.

Their wings were no longer invisible. Not to her, though judging by the confused reactions, she was the only one. Hagrid was still explaining something, but she wasn't really paying attention. Something about them being bad omens, or maybe that was just superstition. She wasn't sure about that and instead kept her eyes trained on the beasts. Perhaps it'd be more fun to fly on them now that she could actually see them.

When the class ended, she didn't follow the other students back to the castle, all clearly eager to escape the oppressive gloom of the forest. Instead, she strolled towards the nearest Thestral and extended a hand. It licked it tentatively, its tongue a lot softer and wetter than she'd expected, and then dug into the carcass again. Ginny patted it on its back. It felt exactly the same as last time.

"Y'alright Ginny?" Hagrid asked as he walked up to her.

Ginny just shrugged, stroking the Thestral's reptilian head. What was she supposed to say?

"T'was a terrible thing that happn'd," Hagrid said, sniffling now.

"Yeah," she said. "Can I fly on them?" she asked, hoping to forestall any other questions. She liked Hagrid, but she'd already had to talk about this with so many people this week, she felt too empty, too tired to do it again, let alone with Hagrid who seemed only one word away from bursting into tears.

"If ye want," Hagrid said, scratching his head even as he blew his nose with a very large and very dirty handkerchief.

"Thanks," Ginny said as she heisted herself on the horse and wound her hands into its black mane. She clenched her legs around its body and briefly wondered if this was smart. Then she decided she didn't care.

"Do you think we can fly above the forest a bit? Please?" she asked, remembering how Harry had talked to the horses as well.

She felt just as stupid as he must have, but the Thestral spread its wings, crouched and then streaked upwards as if launched from a catapult. She clutched the beast tightly as the foliage went by in a blur, branches snapping and leaves brushing past her face. They broke through the canopy and then they hovered alone in the air, the sky cold but the sun brilliant. Little dots moved below on the Hogwarts grounds as she wondered how many of them could see her mount. A bit further lay a tiny speck that had to be Hogsmeade, even as the Thestral beat its wings and guided her further over the forest and towards the lake.

"Okay, how about a nosedive?" she asked, shouting over the wind to be heard. The Thestral craned its neck as if to make sure it had heard her correctly.

"You heard me," she said.

It still looked at her rather doubtfully.

"Oh come on, you're not my mum. Or Percy. You look a bit like him though, so I think I'll call you Perceval," she announced. "So, Perceval. Nosedive?"

The Thestral, Perceval, seemed to shrug and beat his wings again, continuing their flight. Just as Ginny thought he was ignoring her and they would need to have a serious talk, he dove.

Her stomach was still catching up as they sped towards the lake. Her eyes were teary and her hair blew wildly in the wind, a loud roar in her ears even as she screamed with joy herself.

Perceval pulled up just before they crashed into the lake, its hooves skimming over the water as they flew past the giant squid. Drops splashed against her face and she let out a wild whoop. This, they hadn't taken from her. This, they'd never take from her.