Chapter Two: Preparations

They didn't do anything more that night. They were both tired, both weak - Remus was still suffering the after effects of the full moon. Instead, Remus showed Sirius up the twisty, creaking stairs to the tiny spare bedroom under the rafters. 'It's not much … and it hasn't been dusted in nearly a year but…'

'I spent twelve years in Azkaban with nothing but a concrete floor, a straw mattress and a toilet bowl attached to the wall. Your spare room will be like a palace.'

'Oh I don't know about that - it doesn't come with anything near as fancy as its own toilet.'

Sirius gave his bark of laughter again. 'You're right, I've been spoiled all these years and never even knew it.'

'Well - you were always spoiled.'

'Night, Moony.'

'Night, Padfoot.' Feeling slightly awkward, though he didn't really know why, but like he didn't know what to do with his hands and like his feet were suddenly too big, he left Sirius alone and headed down the narrow landing to his own bedroom. He shut the door, lit the lamp and looked around. It was exactly how he had left it last August, when he had gone down to London in order to catch the Hogwarts Express. That had been just after a full moon too, and he had been too weak and achy to apparate then, just like he was today.

He drew the curtains, pulled his robes over his head and folded them neatly, crawled under the covers and switched the light off. Then he closed his eyes and tried not to think about Sirius, sleeping just down the hall.

...

He was awoken the next morning by a pillow to the face, 'mmmph… whassat?'

'Wake up, Moony, shove over.'

He pried one bleary eye open, caught sight of the pale sunlight creeping through the crack in the curtains and then watched in surprise as Sirius got into the bed beside him. 'What time is it?'

'Early.'

'Why'd you wake me up? - I was sleeping.'

'You were snoring.'

'I don't snore.'

'You have always snored.'

'What are you doing?'

'What do you mean?'

He just stared at Sirius - he looked down at the bed and then back up at the man who had forced his way into it.

Sirius looked nonplussed. 'What? We always get into each other's beds if one of us wakes up early.'

'At Hogwarts … when we were children .'

But Sirius still looked none the wiser, 'what's your point?'

Remus sighed. 'Sirius - grown men just don't go around clambering into each other's beds. It's just not done.'

'Why not?'

'Well - because … I suppose they don't want to.'

'Well I wanted to.'

Remus shook his head … It suddenly struck him that, while he had grown up - grown old - these past twelve, lonely years, Sirius had been trapped in the same state that whole time. He had been miserable, he had been alone, but he hadn't been growing up. And now he was free of the dementors, and back with a friend, rather than moving on he was resetting to the person he had been before it had all gone wrong. He may have lived for 34 years, but Sirius had not matured past the age of 21. And Sirius at 21 had been about as mature as a normal person at 13.

'Alright,' he sighed and fought down a smile. 'Why did you want to? Why are you here?'

But Sirius only shrugged, 'I was awake. You weren't - I woke you up.'

'You are a terrible house guest.'

'We have things to do - you can't sleep the whole day away!'

'It's half past six in the morning!'

'Exactly - six hours of the day are gone.'

'You know, I heard you hadn't gone crazy in Azkaban. That's what people actually said about you. I'm telling you now … you went crazy in Azkaban.' He picked up the pillow Sirius had thrown at him, threw it back and then rolled over onto his side. 'Go back to sleep.' He closed his eyes.

'I'm wide awake.'

'Well I'm not - sleep .'

He heard a grumbling, muttering, chuntering sort of a noise. The mattress shifted underneath him - and then he was suddenly very aware of Sirius' warm body lying right beside his own.

His eyes opened, his whole body went tense and he held his breath… suddenly terrified to move a muscle. God … even after all these years... He flushed with heat - and tried to will himself back to sleep, to think of anything but the man lying beside him, praying Sirius would not notice anything was wrong.

Merlin - this took him back...

And then as he lay there - rigid and sweaty and trying to think about the most unappealing things he could imagine - he heard the soft, deep, rhythmic breathing that told him Sirius had fallen back asleep.

He rolled over and stared at him - incensed. Oh he was wide awake was he? Couldn't let Remus sleep because there was so much to do, was it? He reached behind him, grabbed his pillow and smacked Sirius in the face with it.

'Mmph! Moony, what'd'ya do that for?'

'Because you came in here, woke me up and then fell back asleep quicker than I did!'

'Your bed's comfy! I was more tired than I thought.'

As Remus smacked him with the pillow again, it occurred to him that maybe Sirius was not the only one resetting back to the way he had been before everything went wrong, now he was no longer alone.

...

They slept another two hours - and if Remus thought it was strange that they slept beside each other, Sirius certainly didn't seem to think there was anything wrong with it … so he tried to think that too. Sirius didn't feel the same way he did, of course, perhaps if he knew how Remus felt he would have been less inclined to get this close.

But Remus kept himself under control - his thoughts, his yearnings and his most wild imaginings - and eventually he nodded off again. When they woke for a second time, the sun was higher and it was a more civilised time of the morning.

They went downstairs. 'There's nothing to eat,' Remus said apologetically. 'I only just got back. I'll get something in later. I think I've still got a tin of biscuits in my suitcase.' He went out into the hall where his case was still by the door, where he had abandoned it last night - and carried it into the kitchen.

Sirius filled the kettle, while Remus fiddled with the neatly knotted string that bound his battered suitcase together.

'Wand -' Sirius said holding his hand out.

Remus passed it across, Sirius tapped the kettle and it boiled immediately. Remus stuck his tongue between his teeth and dug his nails into the tricky knots. He didn't know what he'd been thinking when he tied these so tightly …

Sirius carried on making the tea.

'Stupid string - ' Remus muttered, he looked up - Sirius was putting the mugs of tea down on the table. 'Can I have my wand back?' He took it back, took aim at the stupid, stubborn twists of string and said 'diffindo'.

The knot sliced apart, but the suitcase slid backwards a couple of feet, toppled off the table and spilled all its contents over the floor. Sirius raised an eyebrow, 'you - er - were really pissed off at that string.'

Remus tutted, waved his wand so that everything magically got back inside the suitcase and then summoned the tin of biscuits. He put the tin on the table, 'there - help yourself.'

It wasn't much of a breakfast - but they drank their tea in companionable silence, dunking the biscuits before eating them. When they were done they had a second cup of tea … because sitting there in the sunshine, together after all these years, drinking tea and eating biscuits was too nice to just stop doing.

When he was finally finished, Sirius glanced around the kitchen. 'Can I have a shower?'

'There won't be any hot water yet. The house has muggle plumbing. I'll switch the immersion on. Should be ready in about an hour.'

'Right - well - I'll go see to Buckbeak then.'

'Hagrid's hippogriff?' Remus narrowed his eyes. 'What are you talking about?'

'I'll just check he's OK. You did know that's how I escaped, didn't you? On Buckbeak? He's in your back garden.'

Remus rubbed his forehead. 'I have muggle neighbours.'

'There's no one for miles around!'

'People walk past!'

'You worry too much.'

'Just … go check he isn't visible from the road,' and sighing to himself, he got up to go and switch the boiler on.

...

While Sirius went in the shower, Remus left the house and walked the two miles to the nearest muggle shop. He had put on his second hand pair of trousers and threadbare muggle shirt and had taken some notes from the stash of muggle money he kept in his sock drawer. He was the only wizard who lived around these parts - well, it's not like other wizards wanted someone like him around, whereas the muggles didn't know, so didn't mind - and he had got used to having to blend in when he ventured out into the non-magical world.

He yelled up the stairs to tell Sirius where he was going, though he didn't know if he heard over the sound of the running water. But, all in all, he thought it was better that he get out of the house while Sirius was naked and wet and … he forced his mind onto a different subject.

By the time he arrived back, his shopping clutched in his hand in a plastic carrier bag, Sirius was out of the shower, his hair was clean and he was wearing a set of Remus' robes.

'You don't mind do you?' he asked, when he saw Remus looking, 'only mine are filthy … and they're prison robes.'

'No, of course not. I … I've just never seen them on someone else before. I suppose I never realised just what a bad state they're in. How shabby they are. They're all like that.'

'Well if people want you to dress better they can get rid of all their awful anti-werewolf laws and let you earn enough money to buy new,' Sirius said absently. He was peering at himself in the mirror. 'Can I borrow your wand?'

Remus handed it over - and watched as Sirius started using it to cut his hair. It had been a matted elbow length tangle - but now great, two foot long strands were dropping to the floor in clumps.

When he was done he vanished the hair from the floor and then ran his hands through the newly cut, newly neat, newly clean hair on his head … ruffling it up, like he was in a muggle shampoo commercial. Remus watched him breathlessly…

Sirius must have noticed, because he stopped and looked. 'What?'

'N- nothing …' he forced a grin, 'it's just a long time since I've seen you be that vain.'

'I've still got the wand - I can hex you...' he frowned. 'I need one of my own.'

'A hex?'

'A wand. I can't keep borrowing yours. Not if we're going to track down Peter. Not if we're going to stop Voldemort. It's not that I mind sharing with you, Moony - but it'll be easier if I have my own stuff.'

'You're the most wanted wizard in Britain. You can hardly just waltz into Olivander's and get chosen by a new wand.'

'No…well, we need to work out what we're going to do. Getting a new wand will just have to go on the list.'

'What else is on the list?'

'New robes - you don't really have enough for us to keep sharing. And the ones you do have…'

Remus flushed. 'I do my best.'

'I know. It's not your fault. It's theirs.'

Remus didn't have to ask who Sirius meant by "them". He remembered all too well his friend's righteous anger, on his behalf, when they were growing up. Every time they had been faced by something Remus couldn't do or somewhere he wasn't allowed to go or just someone being carelessly rude - Sirius would seethe for him. It made him feel all warm inside to know that Sirius still felt that way. That, even after his own ill treatment, being sent to Azkaban without trial, twelve years with the dementors… he still loved Remus enough to care about the way the world treated him - and get angry about it.

He looked up - and noticed Sirius looking at him, a worried frown on his face. 'What is it?'

'How have you been - all these years? Transforming alone?'

'Oh well - you know…' he shrugged. 'It's been like it was before. Before you were an animagus. I just…' he looked around the room miserably, 'I lock up the house, double enchant it so I can't get out. I put muggle repelling charms round the edge of the garden so no one can get near and then I … And then in the morning I fix up all the damage.'

'They have that potion now.'

'Yes - Severus made it for me at school. But I'm not up to making it myself, you know I'm no good at potions … And I can't afford to buy it. Not that I would want to. I might as well tattoo "werewolf" on my forehead as walk into Diagon Alley and buy a bottle of wolfsbane potion.'

'I'm sorry.'

'I've not had it as bad as you.'

'It's not a competition.'

They were quiet for a moment, just looking at each other - their eyes and expressions sad as they both contemplated where life had taken them, where they had ended up and what they had suffered. Then Remus shook himself - and sniffed - 'anyway, don't we have plans to be making?'

...

They took Remus' atlas of the wizarding world off the bookshelf and laid it out on the kitchen table - opening it up to the map of Europe and pulling it out so they could both study it.

'Merlin - couldn't Voldemort have hidden somewhere a bit closer?' Sirius said, when they had finally located Albania. 'How did he get all the way here? He doesn't even have a body … Did you know Albania was all the way down here?'

'It's … a bit of an unpleasant surprise.'

'I always thought it was somewhere near Poland.'

'Apparently not.'

'It's right by Greece.'

'That's what the map says.'

'... Bugger.'

Remus took a sip of his tea. 'We can call the whole … adventure off. You can just take Buckbeak and go into hiding.'

'No - if I go into hiding … what am I going to do? Hide for the rest of my life? I've got Harry to think about. And you. And I've got a dark wizard to stop and a war to prevent. I can't be put off because the destination is a bit further away than I thought.'

'It's a lot of ground to cover…' He fought to keep his voice sounding neutral and even - and not pay too much mind to what Sirius might have meant when he said he had Remus to think about as a reason to not go into hiding. 'You might be better off travelling as a dog. It'll be safer - the Ministry is still after you. I'm sure they'll have alerted the European Federation of Magical Law Enforcement that you've escaped. They'll have a Europe wide arrest warrant.'

'If I have to travel as a dog … that means I can't go on Buckbeak.'

'No.' He sighed again at the thought of a hippogriff in his back garden. 'But I suppose he can stay here while we're gone. There's a paddock at the back with some apple trees in it. He'll be fine - we'll stick muggle repelling charms around the perimeter.'

'We'll have to get the train,' Sirius traced a finger down the map, past the all magical settlements that were scattered across the continent. 'Down into Italy and then push across into Croatia ourselves, keep travelling down . We'll have to ask if people have seen Peter along the way … What's the German for "have you seen this stinking, treacherous rat?" ... What is it?' He asked as he looked up and caught sight of Remus' face.

Remus had flushed again. 'I - er - I can't afford to buy us train tickets. This route…' he traced it with his finger as Sirius had done, 'that's the one the Flying Frenchman takes. I can't afford one ticket to the first stop on the Flying Frenchman, let alone two all the way to Italy.'

'Are you mental? I don't expect you to pay. I had bushels of gold in my Gringotts account before I went to Azkaban. Both my parents have died since then. The entire Black fortune is mine. You don't have to worry about money - ever again. What do you think I meant when I said I had you to think about as well as Harry?'

'I - er - I don't know.' Though his heart was sinking like a stone. Not that he wasn't grateful for Sirius' generosity - of course he was but … if he were being truthful, sharing his wealth was not what Remus had hoped he had meant. He didn't want Sirius' money … he wanted Sirius. 'But - how can you get money out? - You are … and I fear I've already mentioned this … the most wanted wizard in Britain.'

'I got Hermione's cat to send the postal order for the Firebolt. I think you can handle a similar level of responsibility. You can do all the transactions.'

Remus smiled. 'Fine - so - we got to London, get the things we'll need for our trip at Diagon Alley. Though it'll be safer to buy second hand - your wand, more robes and so on and then get the tickets for the Flying Frenchman.'

'We'll be having Belgian chocolates and German pastries before you know it.'

'And hunting down Peter,' Remus said.

'That too.'

'Well - that seems settled then.'

'I guess it does.'

...

They waited a couple of days before they set out - until the moon had waned a bit more and Remus was feeling stronger, and the dark circles were not quite so prominent under his eyes.

In that time they both laughed more than either of them had in twelve years, perhaps more than they had since before they had left Hogwarts. They stayed up later than they should and drank tea and played wizards chess … and every day, as he ate proper meals after starving for so long, Sirius seemed to grow more healthy. His face fleshed out, his eyes lost their deadened look, his teeth were whiter and every morning he somehow managed to look younger and more handsome than he had the night before.

He was returning to the man he had been. Coming back to life. And every day Remus' heart beat a little faster at the sight of him ...and then sank in disappointment when he reflected there was going to be no similar transformation for him. Sirius may be ageing backwards but, when he looked at Remus, he was always going to see someone grey and lined before their time.

Not that it mattered, he told himself fiercely. Sirius did not feel that way about him - would never feel that way about him. Of course Sirius was not interested in another man. He didn't understand why he felt that way for Sirius - although he always had - but he knew well enough that it was wrong and no one else would ever understand. Least of all Sirius. What did Sirius care that Remus didn't look 21 any more? It's not like he had even been especially good looking back when he was 21… he'd always had the circles under his eyes - and the scars.

No - he was being daft. He should be happy that Sirius was able to regain his health - and do so so quickly. But being a werewolf was too draining, there could never be any recovery for Remus. Their situations were different - and it was stupid for him to want what Sirius had.

...

They presumed that, as he didn't have a wand and because he was widely believed to be dead, Peter would have to travel the length of Britain as a rat. Having to get from the remote Scottish Highlands to somewhere with regular transport to mainland Europe - whether magic or muggle - would take him a while on his little, ratty paws. So they were not in any terrible hurry to set out.

Three days after Remus had first arrived home, they packed up the few robes he had, his stash of muggle money - just in case - and the map of Europe and then they locked up the house, said "goodbye" to Buckbeak and gripped arms. Remus raised his wand and they apparated to a quiet alleyway off Charing Cross Road.

Making sure they were unnoticed, Sirius transformed - and then Remus and his pet dog, Padfoot, checked into The Leaky Cauldron for two nights. They would do their shopping tomorrow and catch the train the day after.