Chapter Three: Foul Play on the Flying Frenchman

'I need two tickets - all the way to Maggiora.' Remus had to raise his voice over the sounds of King's Cross station: the muggle trains pulling in and out; the announcements over the tannoys; the swarms of harried looking muggles hurrying past. He gave them a flustered look - it was a lot busier at this time of day than it was at 11 am on the first of September. He'd never seen it like this before.

Sirius sat at his feet, disguised as Padfoot - barking at pigeons. He got an amused look, before Remus turned back to look at the ticket wizard standing in the booth. Like everything that belonged to the magical world but was located in the muggle one, it had enchantments on it so the muggles' eyes slid right past it. It wasn't invisible exactly, but their brains just didn't register it was there. Remus was the only person in the train station who could see the person he was talking too - and Sirius of course.

'Is the dog going?' The ticket wizard asked, eyeing Padfoot suspiciously.

'Yes, of course, that's why I need two tickets… would it - would it be possible to get a private compartment, just the two of us?' He didn't know why he blushed as he said that. Well, he did - because he knew why, in his heart of hearts, he wanted a private compartment just him and Sirius. But that wasn't actually what he meant - and it surely wouldn't be how either Sirius or the ticket wizard interpreted it. He bit his lip and tried to will himself pale again.

The ticket wizard shrugged, 'only get private compartments in First Class.'

'Well -' he shot an apologetic look at Sirius, who just shrugged his dog shoulders at him, 'I suppose I'll have two First Class tickets to Maggiora, then.'

He saw the way the ticket wizard's eyes raked over him - as if taking in the shabbiness of his robes and his greying hair and the battered suitcase, once again tied up with neatly knotted string.

'You can't afford First Class.'

He felt himself flush again. Down at his feet, Sirius tore his eyes off the pigeons and began to growl at the man behind the counter. 'I think I can decide for myself what I can and can't afford, don't you?' Remus said, keeping his voice pleasant.

'Look, mister, the other First Class passengers won't want you up there with them.'

'What do you mean?' His voice had lost its pleasant tone now. Beside him, Sirius was baring his teeth as the growl rumbled away in his throat.

'The dog,' the ticket wizard said, shooting a nervous glance at Sirius. 'They won't want the dog up there.'

'Is that so?' He had the very distinct feeling that this was not what the other man had meant at all.

'No animals in First Class. Company policy.'

'Hmm - I'd like to see where that's written down.'

Now it was the ticket wizard's turn to blush. 'Look, mister - the train leaves in ten minutes,' he blustered, 'you want the tickets or not? Standard Class only.'

'Oh alright.' He carefully counted out the gold he had taken from Sirius' bank account - trying not to faint as he handed the money over. Even at Standard Class prices, he had never paid so much for just one thing in all his life.

Maybe it was because he was a dog, and his face could not show much in the way of emotion, but Sirius seemed supremely unconcerned by the cost. But then maybe it was because Sirius had always been rich… He had bought a boy he had never met, at the time, a Firebolt for Christmas after all. Gold didn't mean much when you had so much of it … or so Remus had heard, he had never had any and so wouldn't know.

He took the tickets, nodded his thanks to the unhelpful wizard behind the counter and left. 'Come on, Padfoot,' he said - and Sirius lolloped along at his feet. They made their way to the hidden barrier between platforms seven and eight.

''Ere!' A voice shouted after him. He turned to look and saw a red faced muggle guard yelling at him. 'That thing ought to be on a leash.'

'It's not a thing - He's a dog. And he's perfectly well ... trained.' He bit his lip to stop himself from laughing. 'I won't say he's well behaved.' Sirius barked at him in outrage, and he lost the fight not to laugh.

The guard was watching him closely - his eyes narrowed and suspicious - flicking up and down, taking the whole of Remus in - especially his robes. 'What are you laughin' at? And why are you dressed like a right weirdo?'

'Because I am a right weirdo. And my dog and I have a train to catch. If you'll excuse us.'

'Where are you goin'?'

His eyes flicked to the departures board - 'Edinburgh Waverley,' he said, reading the destination of the platform seven train.

'Are you Scottish?'

'Och aye …' The dog sniggered at his feet. Dogs shouldn't be able to snigger. 'Do I sound Scottish? And what business is it of yours? - Now please, I'm in a hurry.' And shooting the guard an irritated glance - he hurried away, checking that Sirius was keeping up.

They lurked by the barrier hidden between the two platforms - very aware that the guard was still keeping an eye on them. 'Oh come on - look away,' Remus muttered. He looked up at the big station clock. It was now only five minutes until the train left.

Finally, the guard sneezed - and the man and dog seized their opportunity and slid through the brick wall and out onto platform seven and a half.

...

Steam billowed across the platform, so it felt like everything was shrouded in mist. They struggled their way down to the Standard Class part of the train, Remus checking the tickets until they found the right carriage. He opened the doors and pulled down the steps.

There was a slight breeze and the steam cleared for a moment. He just got a brief view of another late passenger, a squat little witch with a wide face, who was getting on at the other end of the train. Clearly she had been deemed good enough for First Class.

Then the whistle blew and he and Sirius hopped up into the carriage, slammed the door closed and began to make the way down the aisle until they came to their own sleeping compartment.

The train began to pull out of the station - and the floor heaved and swayed under their feet. On his four paws, Sirius did a much better job of keeping his balance.

'We're in 22B,' Remus said to him, checking the tickets again. 'Berths 1 and 2 … should be just up here…'

As they staggered their way up the carriage - minding their own business - they suddenly heard a strangled yelp, and a door slammed shut very loudly and quickly. Remus frowned at Sirius, 'something we said?' he said. 'Here it is.' They arrived outside 22B, Remus slid open the door and ushered Sirius inside before following him in and closing the door behind them.

There were four berths in the compartment - bunk beds - and Sirius and Remus had the ones on the left hand side. Sirius yelped and scrambled his way up to the top.

'How come you get the top one?'

But Sirius only barked at him.

Berth 3 had a stout, red faced wizard already in it - already sleeping, snoring loudly. He wore traditional Austrian lederroben and smelled strongly of beer. Remus and Sirius glanced at each other. 'I think, if we leave it half an hour to make sure no one is coming for that final bunk, you should be safe to transform … not that you're not a more pleasant travel companion this way.'

He got another bark of outrage.

Fifteen minutes in, the ticket inspector came round to check their tickets … he tutted when he saw the drunk wizard in berth 3 and rooted through his pockets until he found his ticket.

Fifteen minutes after that, berth 4 was still empty, the Austrian wizard was still passed out … and Sirius transformed back into a man and scrambled down to join Remus on the bottom bunk. 'Shove over, Moony.'

They curled up on the bed together - like they were boys back at Hogwarts - and looked at the map. 'First stop is Beetje Heks-Stad,' Remus said, 'a few miles east of Bruges. We should be there late tomorrow morning.'

'How long does the train stop for?'

'We'll have a couple of hours. Have a look around - ask anyone if they've seen Peter.'

'How's your French?'

'They might speak Dutch.'

'How's your Dutch?'

'Worse than my French.' They both laughed.

'Well - we can always speak English very loudly and slowly,' Sirius said.

'Bound to work.'

...

The countryside whipped past the window - and before long they could see the sea sparkling in the distance. 'Does the train go over the top of it?' Sirius asked, peering out.

Remus looked at him like he was mad, 'well it could hardly go under it, could it?'

'The muggles have a train that goes under the sea.'

'What?'

'I saw it in a muggle newspaper while I was on the run. It's just opened. There's a tunnel that goes right under the Channel and a train runs through it. They can take their cars on it and everything.'

'Sounds useful.'

'They seemed pretty pleased with themselves. Though I think the French did most of the work.'

'We've not been fighting them for a thousand years just to let the Frogs take the credit for all the hard work … even if they deserve it,' Remus smiled.

'Too right. You know I met a wizard from Beauxbatons once. Right snooty bastard he was. They really look down on us.'

'I'm pretty sure it was just you he was looking down on, Padfoot.'

Sirius snatched up the pillow and smacked Remus with it. Remus snatched it out of his hands and smacked him back.

The Austrian wizard gave an almighty grunt … they both froze and watched him … but he just rolled over and carried on snoring.

'It doesn't even matter - we're not going to France. We're headed into Belgium and then through to Luxembourg.'

'They all go to Beauxbatons too,' Sirius said darkly.

...

By now the train was skipping across the sea. The waves broke in little white caps at the wheels - and the foam leapt upward, soon their window was covered in a fine layer of spray.

Night began to fall. The lamps were lit. The train continued to sway and rock as it crossed the water. The Austrian wizard slept on.

A few hours later, and the boys decided it was time for bed. Remus picked up their washbag, Sirius transformed back into a dog - and they made their way unsteadily down the carriage towards the bathroom.

The door was stuck, when they got there - and Remus had to use his wand to unjam it. They discovered why as soon as the door slid open.

There was a wizard lying on the floor, unconscious. He looked very well to do; his robes were very fine; he wore a large gold watch and an even larger gold chain. Remus felt even shabbier than normal just standing next to him. The two men squeezed inside the bathroom, closed the door and Sirius transformed back.

'Should we try and wake him up?'

'Maybe we should tell a guard he's here.'

'He looks like he should be in First Class,' Sirius said, nudging him with his toe. 'I can't believe the ticket wizard wouldn't sell him First Class tickets.' His voice had a bitter edge to it.

'Maybe he's just cheap.'

'With all that gold? Come off it. How did he end up here? And how did he end up like this?'

'He looks like he's been stunned.'

'He got into a wizard's duel in a bathroom on a train?' Sirius squatted down and rooted through the man's pockets until he pulled out his wand. Then using his own new second hand one, he put the tips together and muttered 'prior incantato'.

The shadow of a red ball of sparks exploded outward.

'He was stunned by his own wand?' Remus said, surprised.

'Something funny's going on here…'

'Look - I think we should forget it. We need to brush our teeth, get back to our compartment and pretend we saw nothing. We can't afford to stick our noses in or get in the middle of something. I feel like a Jarvey who only ever learned one sentence every time I say this but … you are the most wanted wizard in Britain. We don't want to bring any attention to ourselves - not even by reporting other people's crimes. Let's just brush our teeth and go to bed. Let the next people in here find him and sort him out.'

He climbed over the wizard, took out his tooth brush and toothpaste and began to brush his teeth. Behind him he was aware of Sirius abandoning the unconscious man and then … he was having a wee. Remus rolled his eyes.

It wasn't that they hadn't used to go to the toilet in front of each other all the time back when they were boys - of course they did - they shared a dorm and bathroom, and skived off lessons and hid out in the boys toilets all the time. And some of those castle bathrooms - the urinals were basically one big trough. Over seven years together they had hardly been precious about their privacy. They had been teenage boys - they used to have competitions to see who could get it highest up the wall (Remus had always won - even when it was all four of them. A high water mark was apparently his hidden talent). There was nothing either of them had not seen before.

But they weren't boys anymore. They were men. Only Sirius did not seem inclined to act that way. The longer he was around Remus, the more and more he acted like he was fifteen again. And the more and more Remus felt like he was fifteen again … and had to fight to remember that no - it was twenty years later, he was a grownup, and grownups didn't act this way around each other.

But there was no point telling Sirius that. He had no interest in being 34 and mature and acting like everyone else. He had lost too much time, had too much taken from him - he wanted to go back to exactly who he had been before and start again … or maybe he didn't even realise he was doing it.

The sound of the … stream stopped. 'Come on, Moony, hurry up - I need to do my teeth.'

Remus spat out his toothpaste, rinsed everything off and then carefully stepped across the unconscious wizard to let Sirius at the sink. Sirius started washing his hands - and Remus eyed up the toilet. He was uncomfortable at the thought of going in front of Sirius but - after Sirius had clearly thought nothing of it - knew it would seem weirder if he caused a fuss, waited until Sirius was done at the sink, kicked him out of the bathroom and then went.

He sighed, shook his head, and reached for his flies - hoping that Sirius wasn't watching him in the mirror.

'A ant eleve ow ood is eels.' Sirius said - through a mouthful of toothbrush and paste.

'And in English that would be…?'

He took out the toothbrush and spat. 'I can't believe how good this feels.'

Remus froze - the sudden clatter of the wee hitting the toilet bowl sounded deafeningly loud, even over the train. 'How good what feels?'

'Brushing my teeth.'

'Oh,' everything unclenched - and went back to normal.

'After twelve years. Every time I do it it's like … I can't believe how good it feels.'

'You said that already,' Remus said, drily. He finished up.

Sirius was still lost in the ecstatic dreamworld of personal hygiene. When he was done brushing his teeth he washed his face and then dried it on their hand towel and when he came back up … dammit, he looked younger and more handsome than he had before he had started. Remus narrowed his eyes - either Sirius was just irritating, or he was cheating. It was unfair that a man could spend 12 years in Azkaban and then still look better than everyone else.

It never even occurred to him that maybe it was just the way that he looked at Sirius that was biased.

'Come on,' he said. 'Let's get back.'

...

They returned to compartment 22B. The drunk Austrian was still snoring loudly. Struggling to manoeuvre in the small space, they stripped their robes off and got their pajamas out.

Remus couldn't help glancing at Sirius, as the other man stripped down and got changed. He was still too thin of course, it would take more than a week to undo all the damage the past 12 years had done … but he was already starting to fill out. His ribs weren't as prominent as they had been, his limbs not as wasted - he was starting to look strong and powerful once again.

And his skin itself was still flawless - endless acres of unblemished creaminess. 12 years in Azkaban and he didn't have a mark on him. Remus glanced down sadly at his own body. 12 years ago he had looked awful enough - but he had a lot more scars since last Sirius had seen him like this. Thick, gnarly lines, all raised and bumpy, crisscrossed over his skin and cut through the hair that clung to his torso.

Sirius had very little in the way of chest hair. It seemed - looking at how smooth he was - like just another way that he hadn't grown up, just another way that he had frozen in time as an adolescent.

Maybe he had stopped and stared too long, maybe Sirius had felt his eyes on him - because his brow suddenly furrowed and he looked questioningly at Remus, 'you OK?'

'Yeah - yes I'm just .. tired. Ready for bed.'

'Right.' Though to Remus' ears he did not sound entirely convinced. He climbed up onto the top bunk. 'Well, night, Moony.'

'Night, Padfoot.'

They each got into their berths - and Remus switched the light off. The train chugged away underneath them - barrelling its way towards Continental Europe even as they lay still and unmoving in their hard, little bunks.

Remus stared up at the underside of Sirius' bed. 'Padfoot?' He whispered up into the dark.

'Yeah?'

'No matter how early you wake up in the morning - you're not getting into bed with me, yeah? The berths are way too narrow. We won't fit.'

'We will if we squish up. Where's your sense of adventure?'

'You promised not to say that word.'

'Oh right. Sorry. Night.'

'Night.' And he rolled onto his side and tried not to imagine him and Sirius squished up together in the confined space of his narrow bed.

...

They drifted off to sleep - the rattle and lurch of the carriage actually working to help lull them into heavy somnolence. And soon Remus was dreaming: he was trying to buy a ticket to get into the Forbidden Forest, but a red faced man in lederroben was telling him he couldn't have one because the creatures would not want him in there. He tried to argue his case - but the man only turned into a rat and scurried deep into the trees. Remus tried to follow him but then the forest was lit up with flaming torches and a whole load of Ministry wizards were pointing and shouting and chasing after him.

He began to run. He saw out of the corner of his eye a short little wizard, who looked a lot like Peter, hurl his torch right at him. A fireball flew through the air - turning everything a burning red…

And then he was woken up by the sound of a loud explosion … and the whole train rattling and wobbling as if it had been knocked off its rails. He sat up with a start - and heard Sirius do the same above him. All down the train he could hear people waking up - yelping and screaming.

He lit the lamp and scrambled out of his bunk. Sirius tumbled down from his own and, wands raised, they made their way to the door. 'Stay behind me,' Remus muttered, 'don't let anyone see you.'

He slid the compartment door open and peered down the hallway. All the way down the carriage he could see other people doing the same, witches and wizards appearing at their doors in nightdresses and pajamas, their wands raised and their eyes wary.

'What's going on?'

'What happened?'

'Que ce passe- t'ill?'

'Was ist los? Was war das für ein Geräusch?'

'Is the train under attack?'

Only the Austrian wizard slept on - oblivious to it all.

After a while there was a scraping sound, and the feeling underfoot of the train righting itself again - and then a guard came down the carriage. 'Everything's all right. You can go back to bed. Nothing to worry about.'

'What happened?' Remus asked him.

The guard stopped and looked him up and down … his eyes flickered in a way that suggested he noticed that Remus' pajamas were old and worn and was judging him for it. 'Nothing to worry about, sir . Go back to bed.'

'But what happened?'

'Yes what happened?' The other wizards in the carriage all joined in.

'Erzahlen Sie es uns.'

'Nous avons le droit de savoir!'

The guard looked around at all their demanding faces, and tutted. 'Well - alright - to tell you the truth … something blew up in First Class. We don't know how or why - but we have it under control, the train is back on it's tracks and we should be reaching Beetje Heks-Stad in the morning. So you all go back to bed - and don't worry about it.'

'Sumzing has blown up - and you tell uz not to worry?' A Belgian witch cried throatily, clutching her night dress to her bosom for some form of protection. ''Ow can we trust zat ze train is safe?'

'She's got a fair point,' Remus heard Sirius mutter from behind him. He elbowed him to be quiet.

But the guard was bristling with indignation. 'Oh, really, now - it is nothing to worry about. A one off - travel this route all the time … never before happened…. Nothing untoward. Now go back to sleep. Some First Class passengers will have to be moved down here, and we're terribly sorry for the inconvenience but really there is nothing more we can do.' And he glared at them all until, still chuntering in various languages, they began to disappear back inside their own compartments.

Remus slid his own door shut - and turned back to Sirius, 'what do you reckon?'

'Between an explosion and that unconscious wizard in the bathroom, something's definitely going on.'

'Trust our luck! Here we are trying to sneak our way through Europe and we end up embroiled in the middle of Murder on the Orient Express … with added explosions.'

'What shall we do?'

Remus shrugged. 'Go back to bed - keep our heads down, hope nothing else happens.'

But Sirius had frozen. He brought his fingers up to his lips and pressed his ear to the door. Remus copied him.

They could hear the sound of footsteps headed their way - and then voices. 'If you'll just come right this way, Ma'am.'

'But you don't understand,' a high pitched voice said crossly. 'Don't you know who I am? I'm Madam Umbridge, Senior Undersecretary to the Minister for Magic himself. I cannot stay down here in Standard Class. I am an important member of Government. I belong in First Class.'

'And I understand that, Madam Umbridge - but your compartment just exploded. Half of First Class just exploded. And now this is the only spare bed on the train.'

Inside their compartment - listening at the door - the two young men's eyes darted in horror towards the empty berth four. Then they looked at each other, alarmed.

'Here we go, Madam Umbridge - compartment 22B.'

'Transform transform!' Remus hissed - shoving Sirius away from the door. Sirius vanished and was replaced by the great, black dog - and, still shoving, Remus heaved him up on his bunk and out of sight, before collapsing down into his own bed. He pulled up the blankets, closed his eyes and pretended to be asleep.

A moment later, the door slid open and - sniffing with disapproval - in walked Madam Umbridge, Senior Undersecretary to the Minister for Magic himself. Looking disgusted with where she found herself, she sat down on the empty bed … not five feet away from the most wanted wizard in Britain, Sirius Black.